Negotiations
#1 of Tales of the Fox Clans
The vulpine country of Sylvania is ruled by a great queen and a number of tribe like clans, each ruled by a matriarch. In this country, females outnumber males by more than five to one, and only the nobility can afford to have a male all to themselves. The clans trade highborn males back and forth to bring fresh blood into their lines and create alliances. A matriarch's son can be worth wagon loads of gold or thousands of acres of land. Clan Blackwood has just offered its first male in five generations for trade, this is his story.
Warning: this piece of literature contains adult material, don't read it if you're underage or if such things are illegal in your country.
This story was inspired by the book 'A Brother's Price', which I do not own.
*Undergoing editing as of 4/28/14* *Editing complete as of 5/6/2014* I cleaned up the tense, the grammar, formatting, and generally made this a much more polished piece. Damn but it was a mess when I first uploaded it.
*IMPORTANT NOTE*: Some parts of this text appear to be in a slightly different size or font. The reason for this, I think, is that I copy-pasted the whole thing from a word document and something got screwed up between Microsoft Word and Sofurry. I can't fix the weird text no matter what I try, since each time I re-upload it the font-size issue just affects different parts of the document. I've tried resizing the font both in the word document and on sofurry, but neither has worked so I'm just going to have to let things stand unfortunately.
Note: three asterisks (***) indicates a point of view change.
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Our fur was a wretched tangle as we writhed on the low mattress that passed for our bed, our red, white, and black bodies starting to soak the sheets with sweat. My hindpaws were braced against the footboard, giving me more leverage as I energetically bred my mate, her arousal mixing with my musk and the tang of our sweat to create a primal odor that would linger for quite a while. I took deep lungfuls of it, relishing it as much as I relished the sensations coming from my loins.
My mate was not vocal in bed, the only sounds she normally made were the staccato gasps that accompanied any vigorous exercise. The soft, broken sounds she was making now were not intentional, signs that I was pleasing her. This made me smile and redouble my efforts, enjoying the knowledge that I could make Tamara, normally so self-controlled, utter those sounds without meaning to, it made me feel powerful.
I felt her claws dig into my back, she was slipping further. I leaned my head down and began nibbling at her neck between breaths. She had a great deal of endurance, and she was by nature very serious, so it took a long time for her to be able to relax enough to get truly immerse herself in a mating, and longer for her to finish. I did not mind though, I have other tools at my disposal besides my penis, and I put all of them to good use tonight. She was as aroused as I had ever seen her, and the painful pricks on my shoulder meant that she was getting close to completion. The minor pain did not bother me, and the knowledge that I was driving her to such an extent aroused me greatly.
A grunt from her surprised me, she was closer than I thought, and she was going feral judging by the way her lust-fogged eyed were fixating on my throat as I pulled my head away from her neck, good. That meant her heat was coming on, or would in a day or so. I stood a chance of impregnating her tonight, and she would certainly be claiming me for her heat regardless. She gritted her teeth and growled, fighting back against the instincts that were driving her body. Now that just wouldn't do.
"Don't fight it." I grunted. "Listen to your body. Lose yourself. I love it when you let go." It was just the kind of thing a vixen with an obsessive need to remain in control loved and needed to hear, permission to go wild. She growled again and her jaws parted wide as she stared at me. I knew what was coming and shifted my head to the left slightly, preparing myself for what was going to happen. Sure enough, just as I reached my peak and was flooded with the bliss of my completion she let out a snarl and bit down on my shoulder savagely, chewing on me painfully if I shifted to pull myself out.
Panting, I pushed my knot against her entrance until it popped into place, feeling the welcome second wave of orgasm as I slid into place. Her tunnel squeezed me just as powerfully as her jaws for a few moments before she let out a choked howl, muffled by the flesh of my shoulder. We stopped moving, staying in the less than comfortable position as we panted, trying to recover our breath.
Her fangs had pierced my flesh, and I could feel some blood leak out into the surrounding fur. She noticed this too, after her instincts started to fade. She whined softly, and I didn't need to see her face to see the guilt beginning to show in her eyes. A moment later she carefully removed her jaws and laid back down, the tips of her fangs tinted with red. She looked hurt as much as she looked guilty.
"Why did you let me do that?" She whispered. I smiled at her reassuringly.
"You've earned some fun." I replied. "And I do not mind the holes, I like it."
"I hurt you." She insisted. I leaned down and nuzzled her, giving her a lover's kiss as well, swiping her tongue with mine and ignoring the tang of my own blood in her mouth.
"I gave you an outlet." I countered. "I enjoy it when you give into your instincts, and the bite is something I've come to enjoy too. If I did not, why would I encourage you so?"
"I...let me clean it off at least." She sighed, giving in and allowing herself to be reassured. We carefully changed position, it was difficult since we were still tied together, but we have had plenty of experience. Once we were on our sides she draped a leg over me and began licking my shoulder where her fangs had drawn blood. It stung for a brief moment, but the numbing properties of her saliva quickly took over and the process became quite pleasant.
After she was done with my shoulder she moved to my cheek and eventually my muzzle, softly cleaning it. I smiled as I closed my eyes as she wrapped me in a slightly awkward embrace, I loved this part, and all of my mates knew it.
"I can smell your heat coming." I murmured, careful not to accidentally bite her tongue. She would suspect of course, it was that time of the year after all, but I have an especially keen nose for that. I am often able to tell when my mates are coming into heat before they realize it. She momentarily stopped licking my muzzle to reply.
"Good." She replied hopefully. "Hopefully I am fruitful this time."
"The more you worry about it, the less successful you are likely to be." I reminded her gently. I love Tamara, I really do, but she is the firstborn and is prone to the same anxiety and perfectionism that plagues many firstborn kits. She needs to be reminded to relax from time to time, and she takes a lot of extra effort in bed, but I do not mind at all.
"I know, I know." She said sourly. "But I cannot help it."
"And that." I said, cracking an eye open and giving her a quick, but heavy, kiss. "Is why I encourage you to go wild in bed. You need to work out your stress somehow dear." She didn't respond for a while, unhappy that she was being reminded of this yet again, but she eventually gave in with a sigh and returned to gently licking my muzzle.
About then I softened enough for my member to slide out of her with a quiet squishing noise. She made a soft sound of disappointment, but moved her leg so I could reach down and move my partially engorged length so it wouldn't soak her fur with our fluids. Personally, I do not mind having messy fur between my legs, in fact I rather enjoy it, but two out of my three mates don't like it. Then she carefully moved and by wordless agreement we rearranged ourselves into our usual sleeping position: her on her back, with my head pillowed on her chest and an arm wrapped around her middle. Her right arm was draped over me and she stroked the fur between my shoulders absentmindedly, I wished she would go to sleep, she needed it, but it appeared she still had too much on her mind.
I would stay awake until she drifted off, if something was weighing on her mind she would probably want to talk about it eventually, and providing support for my mates was as much my duty as overseeing the kitchen or raising the kits.
Our peace was interrupted by the doorknob turning and we both turned to look, paws reaching for daggers concealed in the headboard but were retracted when the door opened to reveal Alicia, Tamara's lighter, slighter sister. She was wearing an old brown tunic against the cold, though she quickly shed it when she got into the room. The fire was stoked high, and Tamara and my exertions during our recent mating had warmed the room as well, or at least they had warmed me.
Tamara eyed her sister tiredly and tightened her grip on me slightly, and I could not help but grin slightly. Yes, she was surely entering her heat. Normally she did not mind sharing me with her sisters in the slightest. Alicia noticed this as well and her eyes began to twinkle with puckish mirth.
"I claimed him tonight Alicia." Tamara said firmly.
"Yes, I can smell." Alicia said, amused. "You both smell splendid by the way." She added, just to poke fun at Tamara. Unlike her elder sister, Alicia is much more...freewheeling in her sexual tastes, welcoming females as much as my attentions with equal excitement. "I just felt a bit lonely."
"Oh, alright." Tara said, shifting position. I lifted the blankets and let Alicia crawl under before settling down again, being cuddled on both sides now. I returned my head to Tamara's shoulder and smiled as Alicia snugged herself against me, practically kissing Tamara when she laid her head down and likely considering it, just to tweak her sister's tail.
"So, since you had him tonight can I have him tomorrow?" Alicia asked. Since Tamara was the eldest, and the successor to the position of Matriarch, her sisters technically had to ask her permission in order to claim me for a night, though I made it very clear to Tamara that I would not allow her to use that as a means of control or manipulation right from the start.
"I am going into heat." Tamara said, but after a pause (and a quick look from me) she amended herself. "But if my urges do not set in by tomorrow night, then yes, you may take him for the night."
"Excellent." She said. "I may not be going into season, but I have been getting antsy."
"Save it for tomorrow." I murmured. "I am tired, even if Tara would not mind us breeding right here I do not have much to give. By tomorrow night I will have some energy back...that is, if I am allowed to sleep." I added pointedly. I loved my mates, but they were all night owls, and I am one of the lucky few morning doves. I could stay up late if I had to, but given the choice I would much rather get up early and get to sleep early.
"Sorry Adam, I forgot you had to oversee the addition to the mansion and balance the ledger today." Tamara said, chuckling.
"And distribute payroll, and purchase a new batch of training weapons for the barracks, and mend little Barbara's doll, and punish Lisa for ripping it in the first place." I listed off. "Not to mention making breakfast, lunch, and dinner for you lot. Even with three helpers in the kitchen, keeping you all fed is a chore."
"We try." Alica said cheerfully.
"That does not surprise me." I said before yawning. "Seriously though, I am tired, and we all have duties early in the morning. Tell me now if you would like anything specific for breakfast, I will not be able to remember it in a minute."
"Roast ham." Alicia said, without skipping a beat.
"Blackberry tart." Tamara said at the same time.
"I think I can manage that, if you do not mind missing out on porridge." I said, snuggling more deeply into my spot and fighting off sleep long enough to make a mental note of their requests.
"That is fine." Tamara said, and I felt a kiss on the back of my head that had to come from Alicia. "Good night Adam."
"Good night." Alicia echoed.
"Good night." I murmured, my eyes closing as Alicia started gently grooming the fur behind my ears. Things weren't so bad, I reflected as I drifted off. Of all the clans I could have been bought by, I definitely could have done much worse than this one, and if my days were full of hard work, I were surrounded by good company and my mates make sure I am well compensated for my efforts.
Yes, life was very good. If I had known where I would end up when I was first bought, I would have been much less nervous, but then again, I suppose that was a good thing in its own right. If I had not been as anxious as I was, my first few months with my mates could have turned out much differently.
*Years earlier*
***
"So, mother, do you think Priscilla will finally end these damned negotiations today?" I asked, not really expecting a positive answer. We had been stuck in Clan Blackwood's mansion for a week now, and I did not know how any of them could stand it. There was no noise here, no voices in the halls, no footsteps, not even the sounds of kits playing. All was silent in Mansion Blackwood, so silent that at times it seemed to be completely deserted. 'Which, of course,' I thought darkly. 'is exactly what they want.'
"I cannot tell you Tamara." Mother grunted, our footsteps the loudest things in the hallway even though we were not wearing anything on our hindpaws. The Blackwood guard that escorted us through the hall managed to move in complete silence despite her leather armor and sword belt. This same guard had been assigned to us when we arrived, along with the rest of her platoon. Whenever a member of our retinue went anywhere in Blackwood's mansion, even to the outhouse, they were followed by at least one guard. We were sure they were as much spies as actual guards and guides, in keeping with Blackwood's collectively paranoid mindset, which only aggravated us. A fact which probably amused the whole twisted clan and played right into Priscilla's paws. "I cannot claim to predict Priscilla's actions. I hope negotiations end soon, but I do not know."
"If I have to hear Gilda brag about the number of merchant ventures Hightower owns again I fear I will begin ripping my own fur out." I growled. Gilda is the Matriarch of Clan Hightower, a bunch of greedy opportunists if there ever was one. I had no idea why Priscilla, the infamously aloof and xenophobic Matriarch of the even more aloof and xenophobic Blackwood Clan even allowed her to negotiate for the chance to buy her son. She knew how Hightower worked, she had to.
Gilda just wanted to get an alliance, or rather a foothold, in the northern region of Sylvania, where her clan's influence was weak. Once that was done Hightower would slowly erode Blackwood financially until they had to assimilate into Hightower or face bankruptcy. Gilda had pulled the same stunt with three other (albeit smaller) clans, though not through the means of a blood alliance. The only reason she was not stopped was because three of her daughters were advisors to the Queen.
"Gilda is getting desperate." Mother said, turning a corner, the guard did not even bother to look over her shoulder at us anymore, trusting that we would follow. Not that we would be able to get anywhere without her. Blackwood's mansion was designed to confuse outsiders, the whole thing is built out of black pine harvested from the Queensfall forest in which the accursed place was located. The walls had no discernible markings or landmarks, and since it sprawled over a large area and extended underground as well as above ground, getting lost would be a death sentence for an attacker, or a dreadful annoyance for us. "I suspect she is going to give her all to attempt to convince Priscilla."
"Do you think she will?" Gilda's dowry was large. A lot of coin and plenty of political capital. We could not afford to match the amount of money Gilda was throwing into the pot, but we had an advantage in that our Clan lands neighbor Blackwood's. Our seat of power is only two days hard travel from here, which meant that not only did an alliance with us secure Blackwood's southern flank, but Gilda could visit her son much more easily than if he was brought to the capital city to live with clan Hightower. In addition, we had large deposits of iron in our mountain home, something that Blackwood sorely lacked.
Personally, I did not know how I felt about the negotiations; I knew I could not take my rightful place as Matriarch until I have birthed at least one healthy kit, two or three would be better. In order to make that happen I needed a male, and a trip to the brothels that are less financially blessed or females or those of less pedigree go to is out of the question for one with my status. Thus; we need to find a male of sufficient breeding, hence our expedition.
We could have found one sooner, but competition for males between the clans is fierce, and often the dowry prices were either too much for us, or the other clan did not want to deal with a 'young upstart' such as ourselves. When Priscilla's son, Blackwood's only Tod of this generation, came of age, there was some clamoring between the northern clans, and Hightower. Priscilla outright refused most of them (with varying degrees of civility if rumor was true) and invited only Hightower and us to barter for her son. That surprised everyone, but on reflection it really should not have.
Clan Blackwood has always been eccentric as a whole, living in Queensfall forest made that inevitable. This awful place had a bloody history, it got its name because the first queen of the current dynasty slew her predecessor under the boughs of the black pines and so ascended to the throne. The forest, its old name all but forgotten, always had a dark reputation, however.
There are...things, that dwell in the deepest reaches of it. Unnatural things. The first members of what would become Clan Blackwood drove them to the deepest parts of the forest when they settled here generations ago beyond count, but the damage had been done (or so it was said). Blackwood is actually one of the oldest clans, and having lived in the shadow of the twilit forest has affected them over time.
Their fur is always darker than is the norm for our kind: the reds of their fur are normally closer to brick than scarlet, their white bellies and throats are more like grey or yellow-cream, and the socks that adorn their paws extend further up their arms and are universally black as pitch. They have black tips to their tails and ears, and finally, their eyes are often a dark green that reminds me of pine needles. They were also, to a one, distrustful of outsiders and notoriously stoic, rarely speaking to those that do not know them well.
Because of their close association with the forest they have garnered a well-earned reputation as scouts, all members of Blackwood are uncannily woodcrafty, able to read sign and vanish into the trees in ways that make scouts in the royal army envious. They also have a strong magical presence in their bloodlines, to the point that almost all of them have some talent; it is normally not anything spectacular, but they have the most consistently magical blood in the realm, which has made their Tods highly-sought after in the past.
Worst of all, though, they were aware of all this and, much to the chagrin of anyone who has dealings with them, they played up their enigmatic and vaguely sinister reputation almost obsessively. When they do speak, it is often something purposefully mysterious or slightly threatening, and when it was not either of those it is always sarcastic. I had spent a week in their mansion and I was already thoroughly sick of it. I only hoped that if we get the Tod, who Priscilla still has not introduced us to, he will be more well-mannered.
"Priscilla is hard to read." Mother grumbled as we approached the room negotiations had been taking place in. I sighed and quickly adjusted a strap on my lorica. I am serving as mother's guard, normally I would be there as the heir to the Clan but Priscilla had, infuriatingly, staunchly refused to allow anyone but a single guard to enter along the guest Matriarchs. "Though I would like to believe she favors us, I just do not know."
Our conversation stopped then as the guard opened the thick door and stepped aside, allowing the musty scent of old dust and neglect to wash out of the obviously old and oft-ignored room. The room beyond was the same as it had been the past week. A small cube with tiny windows and a fireplace barely big enough to hold a single log; the pine walls were bare, and there were no furnishings except a single rectangular oak table that had three wooden chairs set around it. At the head of the table sat Priscilla, her dark, nearly brown, fur starting to grey ever so slightly. Gilda was also present, and was spouting a steady stream of talk, further trade proposals, in clear violation of the rules of the negotiation.
I felt more than saw mother bristle, and I did the same. The impression I have gotten from Gilda and the other members of Clan Hightower was that they felt that rules were things that only applied if they felt like it, and their Matriarch clearly felt herself above such petty things as law.
"What are you doing Gilda?" Mother snarled as she entered the room, a growl clear in her voice. "Have you decided that the laws governing these negotiations do not apply to you?"
"I asked to be admitted early." Gilda replied, annoyed at the interruption. The politico was wearing a white robe accentuated with geometric designs stitched in gold thread, the snowy color making her own nearly yellow fur seem all the more sallow and jaundiced by comparison. Her calculating blue eyes filled with condescension as she saw us and I had to fight the urge to remove one of them with the stiletto concealed at my belt. "Priscilla graciously agreed to see me."
"You were quite insistent." Priscilla murmured, her voice as quiet as it always was, and though I could not claim to be able to read the strange Matriarch well, no one outside her own clan could I was sure, I could swear I detected a hint of annoyance in her voice. She was wearing a plain grey cloth shirt that neither displayed nor hid her larger than average breasts, and similar pants. Both were thick enough to insulate her from the early morning chill, and much more sensible than Gilda's thin linen robe. "How could I refuse?"
"The law states that negotiations cannot commence unless all parties are present." Mother growled.
"Unless there is a matter of individual privacy that must be discussed." Gilda replied, an answer obviously prepared for just this occasion. "There was a matter that I needed to bring up with Priscilla that I did not want broadcast to all and sundry." She sniffed.
"How many of your daughters are licking the Queen's-"
"Enough." Priscilla interrupted mother before she could finish her borderline slanderous comment. "Since all parties are present, let us get return to the pertinent matter." Mother was not happy, nor was I, and it was made worse by Gilda's obvious smugness. Mother took the seat she had occupied all week, the one to Priscilla's right, and waited for Priscilla to speak again, which she did after a short pause. "Now then, I believe I have most of the information I want, but I would be remiss if I was anything but thorough. Please tell me, in turn if you please, the final offers you are willing to make for my son. Gilda first."
"Ah." Gilda blurted, surprised as we all were, Priscilla had just indicated that she was ready to make a decision, something she had been clearly putting off since the start. Just yesterday she had been probing and bargaining like the negotiations were just getting into full swing. This sudden indication that she was ready to make her choice was, I suspect, intended to pressure Mother and Gilda, to make them offer more than they wanted out of desperation. "Well, we of Clan Hightower are willing to offer you fifty percent shares in a number of our mercantile ventures" I inwardly groaned as I took my place behind mother, Gilda has an ego the size of this mansion, and it never shows more than when she talks about her Clan's resources, she was an unbearable braggart. "Including coal mines in the Golden Sun Mountains and silk production in the Norsha river valley. In addition, we are willing to give financial backing at reduced interest, and finally we can offer you a voice on the Queen's council, through my daughters."
Gilda went on a bit after that, talking a lot and saying nothing new. It was a tempting offer, I had to give her that. The Hightowers had their paws in the banking system, thoroughly, and the chance to further their own interests at court was very valuable. The shares in the mercantile ventures were less so, however. Hightower had so many of them that they could have signed the coal and textiles over to Blackwood completely without even noticing the drop in income. Priscilla remained impassive though, not showing any indication that she was going to take the offer or refuse it, though the fact that she asked Gilda to go first disheartened me slightly. While Gilda yammered on I examined my fellow guards to distract myself.
Guilda' guard wore light leather armor dyed in the white and honey colors of Hightower. She appeared to have no weapons at all, in accordance to Priscilla's orders, but I felt sure that she had at least one concealed dagger, much like myself. Her armor was of the style favored by duelists in the capital and, to my more military-based education, ridiculous. The artistic flourishes embossed into the brigandine served no purpose and could only have made it more complicated to put on. The bracers, pauldrons, and grieves were similarly ornamented and I had to repress the urge to snort condescendingly. My own armor, by comparison, could have been used by any member of the Royal Army. Unadorned steel plates over leather undergarments provided much more protection without sacrificing too much mobility. The only difference in my personal armor set was the higher quality materials that could not be noticed at a distance and the Lakedweller crest etched onto my left pauldron.
Priscilla's guard, on the other paw, wore plain leather armor that was obviously hard-used, but also well taken care of. It was not dyed like Gilda's guard's armor, nor did it have any metal like mine did, but Blackwood leather was renowned for its unnatural resilience and I would not want to try my luck with just a small dagger. She also bore weapons, unlike the guests: a short heavy-bladed sword designed as much to hack through undergrowth as much as living breathing opponents.
At the opposite hip she had a hunting knife that looked just as worn as the armor, and her bracers were embossed with sigils that would allow quick spellcasting in combat, as did her pauldrons and shinguards, though I could not imagine why those would need to be enchanted so. A leather helm with an attached mask covered her whole face, leaving only a strip around her alert and intense emerald colored eyes. This was a very standard ensemble for the Blackwood guards if my experience with them had taught me anything, and judging by the ease with which she wore it all I would guess she was a veteran. I was broken out of my reverie when Gilda finally finished and mother started her, much shorter, piece.
"Clan Lakedweller is offering shipments of iron, armed escort for your caravans, and mares and stallions from the same breeding stock we draw our cavalry mounts from." Blackwood made most of their money by selling magical herbs that only grow in the deep parts of the forest, where the eldritch magic that infests the place is at its strongest. They would be quite rich if they did not have to import a great many things from other clans and ship them to their remote home at great cost. Getting cheap iron from us would be a great boon to them, as the nearest source of iron besides our mountains was a quarter of the kingdom away. The caravan escort would also prevent the significant losses they took due to brigands that regularly attacked the valuable caravans. The cavalry horses were a lesser offering mother tacked on just yesterday in a rather desperate attempt to one-up Gilda. Still, it showed what lengths mother was willing to go to.
Clan Lakedweller was originally a mercenary company that served with distinction in the last war with our neighboring country, Hivasa. The current queen's great great grandmother was so impressed by the prowess of the company that she decided to elevate them to clanhood. After a short internal debate as to how the main family would be chosen Clan Lakedweller was born. We kept our martial reputation to this day, and a fair amount of our forces are heavy cavalry.
"Also, an allegiance with us secures your southern and eastern borders and will cause anyone who wants to attack you to think twice." Then she swallowed heavily and spat out a sentence that I knew pained her deeply. "And...I am also willing to sponsor a dozen of your Clan members, of your choosing, to enter the Royal Military Academy."
That was a big concession. Mother has ties in the Royal Army from her stint in the ranks as a cavalry commander. She earned a reputation as a reliable officer who got things done, and she hated to stake her reputation on anything uncertain. Her backing would mean a great deal to the staff of the Academy. The chances of any one of the students sent there would make it above sergeant were small, but if Priscilla chose wisely and got lucky, she could end up with a powerful ally in the Royal Military. Having a General that belonged to your clan was rarely a disadvantage after all.
Blackwood's presence in the Royal Military was limited almost exclusively to the scout battalions, they have a good reputation there, but they did not to my knowledge have any high ranking officers of any influence. In addition, their position at the opposite end of the kingdom from the capital and the base of the Royal Military meant that they hardly got to send any of their members to join the academy instead of just the mandated tour of service, the journey was just not worth it.
With that said and her part finished Mother fell silent. She did not carry on like Gilda had, and soon true silence reigned in the room as Priscilla silently contemplated her options, her eyes staring at something in the middle distance and fixed on a point near the door, her muzzle resting on one paw.
She took a long time, long enough that the rest of us got uncomfortable with the silence. The whole while, perhaps five whole minutes, she was totally still, and not just a lack of movement, immobility so complete it made her look like a figure in a painting rather than a living being. I could barely even see her breathe. Such stillness, I have noticed, is something all members of Clan blackwood seem to be capable of, though Priscilla takes it to an extreme. It was quite unnerving because it meant that one of them could be standing in the same room as you without being noticed for quite some time. The silence got heavier and heavier as it dragged on, interrupted only by the occasional pop of the fire, though that was rare since it had largely burned down by now.
When Priscilla finally did speak again, it was in her normal quiet murmur, though after the long absence of sound it was almost like a shout, and it startled me badly, and Gilda too. If mother was startled she controlled her reaction well.
"Interesting." Priscilla all but whispered, a black pawpad gently tapping her lower jaw. "I had some idea of what your offers would be before you even arrived, of course, but that you would both go to such lengths...intrigues me." She moved, leaning back against her chair in a motion that I swore was calculated to seem mysterious. Her eyes also flickered with the barest hint of amusement, something I had noticed happening before, but it only happened when the subject of her son was brought up directly. She had refused to give any information about him other than the required health reports and a very brief description of his personality that was vague enough to be useless.
Right now, compared to her previous stoicism, she looked like she was having a good time. There was even a smirk on her muzzle, though it was not quite friendly. "I am particularly surprised, Gilda, that you would offer me shares in your mine in the Golden Sun Mountains, after all they have been a prized possession of yours for some time. But then again, I do believe the coal has all but run out...has it not?"
"What? How dare you accuse me of-" Gilda said, quite obviously offended, Priscilla ignored her and pulled a small scroll from the small satchel she carried with her. She unrolled it and I recognized the seal immediately, Hightower.
'Matriarch, news from the Golden Sun range is still poor I am afraid. Production has slowed drastically in the past month as the veins run out and we are forced to tunnel deeper. These mountains are riddled with caves and we often run into water sources which flood the tunnels and we have had a number of cave-ins recently. Regrettably, I do not know if this mine will be profitable much longer.
_ _
`Overseer James.'
Gilda's jaw dropped as Priscilla read. Mother and I were able to keep our mouths closed at least, but we still stared. That scroll was obviously personal correspondence, that Priscilla had it meant that she had it stolen. Though from Gilda's lack of instant outrage I doubted that she would be able to prove it.
"H-how, who-" Gilda stammered.
"I believe you dropped it somewhere." Priscilla said, the amusement in her features now balanced by completely understandable wrath. If that scroll was correct, then Gilda was guilty of negotiation fraud, a serious offense in the eyes of crown law. It also cast the rest of her dowry under doubt. Revealing the scroll like this was legally dubious, but in a case of negotiation fraud Priscilla would get a minor reprimand instead of a fine and legal sanctions for theft and espionage. "It is dated three weeks ago yesterday, would you care to explain yourself?"
"I-I have recently received reports that the miners have discovered a new vein of coal. A large one." Gilda said, recovering quickly, though she still did not go on the offensive, which told me two things. One: Priscilla was right, at least to an extent that Gilda had to worry about legal action being taken against her, and two: Priscilla had shaken her. "I assure you, the mine is in no danger of playing out entirely."
"Still, awfully bad form." Mother said, torn between anger at the fraud and glee that Gilda had been caught. I winced when I saw Priscilla's gaze shift, losing none of its intensity.
"I would not speak so quickly, Colette." She said. "After all, I believe I heard something about a falling out with the headmistress of the Royal Military Academy, something about a fight that nearly killed one of her favorites and severely wounded her own daughter."
Mother's eyes widened and I saw her paws grip her chair tightly. I had not heard anything about a fight like that...though now that I thought about it, she had been called away late one night about a month ago. She was very grim when the messenger came, and a week later when she got back she was still practically quivering with suppressed fury, the whole house had been walking on eggshells since, everyone afraid of getting on the wrong side of her legendary temper.
I had been unfortunate enough to be on the receiving end of it once, for accidentally interrupting her in her study the day after she got back. She yelled at me so long and so harshly I was ashamed to admit I was in tears by the end of it, and only retained my dignity by quickly retreating to my room with the excuse of catching up on some personal correspondence. My sisters came in afterward and tried to cheer me up, but we were all too worried about mother overhearing something unfortunate to be very cheerful.
"It was not that bad, the healers had all the morons back on their hindpaws the next morning." Mother defended gruffly, though a bit of anger shone through in her voice, tempered with fear. Hightower could survive an allegation of negotiation fraud and come out largely intact, their reputation would take a grievous blow, but they would survive. Our finances were not quite so robust. "Things like that happen all the time, trainees are not known for their restraint and good temperament."
"Hmm, suddenly I am not so worried." Gilda mused, her eyes on mother, though she was quickly cowed by Priscilla's piercing gaze. Mother (wisely) remained silent.
"I bring these...issues, up;" Priscilla began, leaning back in her chair. "To illustrate a point. I am not foolish, nor am I nearly as uninformed as you both seem to think. I accepted the both of you to the negotiation table because the other clans either did not have anything I am interested in, did not need a male, or were too out-and-out dirty for me to be comfortable with. I have taken the time to dig for information, and let me assure you I have plenty." She said ominously. I had never seen Matriarchs sweat like the two vixens in front of me.
"This is-" Gilda protested, affronted.
"You can't-" Mother said at the same time.
"Enough!" Priscilla shouted, her voice overriding both matriarchs and making everyone except her guard flinch. While we were staring at her in silence she continued, murmuring quietly once again. "I do not claim to know all about you and your Clans; I am not so foolish as to believe that possible. I do, however, know much of what you did not tell me." She paused here, leaning back in her chair and bringing her folded paws under her jaw, malice and amusement playing over her features in equal measure. "Now then, since that is out of the way and I have heard your final proposals I believe I have all the information I need to choose where my son shall go."
She paused again, this time obviously to let us stew in it for her own entertainment. I gritted my teeth, this was ridiculous, and unbefitting a Matriarch. She was acting like a simple schoolroom bully, she obviously had some kind of leverage on mother and Gilda, or at least did a very convincing job of making it seem like she did. Now she was just playing with us. If her son was anything like his mother I hope I do not end up with him, surely any other Tod would be better. Priscilla waited until Gilda, who was going to lose control first, was about to burst before finishing.
"Yes, I know everything I need to know...but it is not my decision, now is it?" She asked rhetorically, taking us all aback before turning to look over her shoulder at her guard. "What do you think Adam?"
***
"I think, mother," I said tonelessly, removing my helm and tucking it under my arm. "That your flair for the dramatic never ceases to impress."
I had, of course, been mother's 'guard' all along. A combination of my armor's molded cuirass hiding my lack of breasts, and careful application of strong-scented leather polish had disguised my sex. I had my reservations about mother's plan when she originally spoke to me about it, but I found myself attracted to the idea despite (or perhaps because of) its inherent rudeness.
While the presence of the Tod in question at these negotiations was not against the law, normally we were there merely for visual appeal. That had its downsides though; prominent among them was that any Matriarch would guard her tongue much more stringently if the object of the negotiation was in the room. By posing as a guard I gained access to all of the information given, and I was able to formulate my own opinions of the Matriarchs in question without them attempting to win me over. They would undoubtedly be rather offended, but I could live with that, and mother had been correct, the looks on their muzzles were highly amusing. Gilda was, predictably, the first one to speak.
"Has he been here the whole time?" She asked, looking horrified.
"Yes." I said simply, keeping my face unreadable and watching her carefully.
"Priscilla! This is outrageous! Not only is this a deception of the highest order, he is bearing arms! What if-"
"Legally, if I wish to be present at the negotiation I cannot be barred." I interrupted. "If you had asked for my identity, as is your right, I would have acquiesced. We have acted in full accordance with the law."
"My son has a right to know the Matriarch he will be sold to." Mother stated, much to Gilda's vehement, and loquacious, outrage. I used the opportunity presented by the blathering shrew to gather my thoughts. I had grown up knowing this was going to happen eventually. When I was young it had not bothered me, it seemed far off and unreal, but as my sixteenth birthday approached I had begun to dread this occasion. Mother had done everything she could to make sure I had the best chance, for which I am eternally grateful.
"Is there another guard then?" Colette asked in a clipped tone, looking around the room as if she expected a shadowy figure to materialize in a corner.
"I have undergone the same combat training that all of our warriors have." I said, addressing her directly. Mother and I had agreed that once my identity had been revealed I would do as much of the talking as I could, standing inert and letting mother do all of the talking for me would undermine what we wanted to achieve. My duty may be to serve the Clan I am bought by, but I am not a sniveling fragile flower.
"You gave him combat training?!" Gilda blurted, appalled. Clan Hightower was, as a whole, socially conservative. So it was not surprising that Gilda was upset by this. Males were not allowed in the military, we were too rare to risk dying on the battlefield after all.
"It was our decision." I replied, emphasizing 'our'. "We felt that it would be better if I knew how to defend myself should the situation arise. I am trained to use the sword, spear, and the bow. I also have basic medical training, and like all of clan Blackwood I am versed in woodcraft and in the use of my magical talent." I listed off, amending myself afterward. "In addition to my traditional training, of course."
My duty to my future clan would be to take care of the household: cooking, cleaning, finance, directing the servants and workers. I would also be shared by the daughters of the Matriarch. I would sire their kits, and raise them as well. Being taught martial skills along with the other, mundane ones, meant that I had not been taught some of the more...frivolous, things my peers tended to learn, like singing, dancing, or art. I simply did not have time for such things. The sole nonessential thing I have learned, my only personal indulgence, was my ocarina.
"Is this a game?" Colette asked, not sure who she should direct her question to, me or mother. This time mother answered first.
"No. We are negotiating my son's fate, where he will spend the rest of his life. That choice belongs to him and him alone." She said firmly. "I merely gave him the opportunity to make the best decision he could. What he does with the information is up to him." Gilda and Colette silently mulled this over for a few moments. Gilda, as seemed to be the norm, spoke first.
"Well then." Gilda said, recovering enough composure to hide her distaste. "Which Clan do you choose Adam?"
I closed my eyes a moment and thought, doing my best to ignore the intense stares of the Matriarchs bearing down on me. When mother first told me she was going to let me choose, I broke down and wept. The closer this day became the more frightened I was. Even now, submerged under a sea of calm calculation, I was terrified. This feeling only got worse when all of the outsiders looked at me intently following mother's proclamation, expecting my answer. My duty was to my Clan, whatever Clan I was attached to. Until I chose, that was Blackwood, and my duty now was to be of service to my Clan, to get the most benefit. The best return on investment, when everything was broken down to its base level and calculated financially, was Hightower, but I could not stand Gilda, and her daughters are legendarily fractious and petty.
To be honest I did not much like Colette or Clan Lakedweller either. They were, at heart, soldiers, their mercenary history notwithstanding; and like all soldiers they look down on Blackwood because our warriors favor stealth and ambush to open combat, they dismiss us as petty thieves and assassins too cowardly to be worthy of respect. That has always rankled. I would wager that not one of them would last a week patrolling in Queensfall. They would turn tail and run at their first encounter with one of the Shades, whimpering for their mothers the whole way. Still, they were better than Hightower.
Briefly, two sides of my mind warred with each other; my duty was to go with Hightower, but I would be miserable there, far away from my home and surrounded by backstabbing liars and slimy aristocrats. Going with Lakedweller would not make my life easy, but I would be closer to home and I stood a decent chance of finding myself in good company. I opened my mouth to give my answer, 'Hightower' almost forming on my muzzle, but it was halted by a memory. A memory of soft words, tenderly whispered into my ear during a tearful embrace just last night. 'Do not worry about money, do not worry about duty. Choose for yourself, go where you will be happy.' My mother's final, and greatest, indulgence. I would be miserable in Hightower. I might grow to enjoy Lakedweller.
"I choose Clan Lakedweller." I spoke quietly, but clearly, and even as I spoke the words felt heavy. I could have sworn my armor gained ten pounds as I approached Colette and took a knee, as tradition dictated, and spoke the traditional words of a male being bought by a Matriarch. "Your house and your kin I shall nurture and grow as if they were my own. My life is yours, my blood is yours, spend them well."
"I accept your service." Began Colette, in the ritual response, her eyes glinting with success. "And in return for it, you shall be protected and cared for in turn. Rise now, Adam of Clan Lakedweller, formerly of Blackwood, and take your place beside your Matriarch."
Gilda's expression was tightly controlled, but it was obvious she was furious. Any amusement I would normally have taken in her discomfort was gone, replaced by an icy dread in the pit of my stomach, like I had swallowed a thousand frozen daggers. Though Gilda was a thoroughly unpleasant shrew, and her daughters rumored to be even worse, the plain fact of the matter was that Colette was merely the lesser of two evils. She was a soldier, not a politician, and even outside of the military her temper has gotten her a dubious reputation. Every Tod grew up with stories about how badly some of our sex are treated by certain Matriarchs. Unfortunately for me, it would seem that Colette had the potential to be just such a case. Her infamously short temper, belligerence, and bellicosity did not bode well for me. There was nothing for it though, my choice was made, my fate sealed. With no recourse available to me I tried to tell myself that I had made the best decision possible, but the thought rang hollow.
As I stood up and stepped behind her I noticed that Tamara was eying me with interest and thought back on what I had been told of her and what had been reported to me by the scouts that had been listening into the Lakewoods' every conversation. Tamara, Colette's oldest. One year older than I am, a gifted swordsvixen, stubborn as her mother, but that was it. I did not trust the description she had given mother, as was typical when a potential mate was brought to the negotiating table, it had been as obviously false as it was scripted, and unfortunately the eavesdroppers had not been able to provide me with much insight into her personality, so I would be going in blind.
A sharp pang of emotions too complex for me to name stabbed through me and I had to bite down hard on my lip to keep myself from crying. I had thought I could handle this moment without being upset, but I was wrong. I felt like someone had ripped my heart in two. Blackwood is my home, my family. The thought of leaving, of not seeing my mother and sister again for years was enough to make me want to howl.
I never resented being born a male as much as I did right that moment when Colette told me to stand. I wanted to scream, but I could not. This was my fate, and there was no fighting it. The only comforts I had were that I would only be two days away from home instead of a week, and that Gilda was visibly angry at the outcome, and those comforts were cold indeed.
"Negotiations have been concluded." Mother said evenly, though I could see the strain around her eyes. Something the others would not be able to read. "I will have your parties notified and told of your departure."
"Generous of you." Gilda sniped before abruptly turning and walking out, her back rigid with anger. I turned to face Colette, waiting for her instructions, which came quickly enough.
"I assume you are packed and ready to leave?" She asked.
"Yes." I responded simply, not looking her in the eye, as was polite.
"Good." She said, starting to turn, but she paused partway through and turned back. "Go change out of that armor and into appropriate clothing. Meet us outside when you are done."
Appropriate clothing meant a loose robe and cloak with a deep hood, attire that would hide my form completely. It was the norm for males to be shrouded so when they traveled, and I have never liked it. I did not like having to hide because I was born a male, and I wished it was not necessary, but I knew better than to fight it.
"My armor and arms are personal possessions, it will take me a few more minutes to pack them." I murmured demurely. Colette nodded. After a brief moment of hesitation I risked another question, testing the waters. "Matriarch?"
"Yes?" She did not seem angry, but she was not precisely friendly either.
"I am accustomed to travelling through Queensfall, and I am in the habit of carrying my knife as well as a few...precautions, against the creatures that live there. May I carry those as well?"
"What kind of precautions?" Colette asked, her ears perking up slightly. Her party had suffered a loss on the way here, one of her soldiers had disappeared the night before the retinue had arrived. We...my former Clan, had sent out search parties, but nothing had turned up. If this had not occurred I would not have risked the question and simply carried the protection regardless, but I figured that losing one of her honor guards would make her more receptive to my request.
"Talismans and a couple magical foci as well as a small first aid kit." I replied. Colette thought for a second and then nodded.
"Yes, you may bring those, and your knife. We will be waiting outside." And with that she walked away, her daughter trailing her dutifully, though I noticed that while Colette did not turn back, Tamara glanced over her shoulder at me more than once. I wondered how long it will be before she claims my 'services'. I desperately hoped she did not expect me to do that on the way to Lakedweller's mansion, with no more privacy than the thin walls of a tent. Mother's voice brought me out of my trance.
"You need to go pack." She said gently. I turned to her, finally allowing the tears I had been holding back to flow. Her own face was damp as she stepped towards me and wrapped her arms around me.
"I love you." I said thickly, my throat painfully tight.
"I love you too." She replied, allowing me the indulgence of a few last moments in her arms before pulling back. "Now go, Nell is waiting for you in your room, she will help you pack."
I nodded and miserably started down the halls, barely noticing the twists and turns I took as I navigated my home. Here, among my own, without the presence of outsiders, I did not hide the sag in my shoulders or the droop in my ears and tail. Many of the Clan were in the halls as I walked by and I received sympathetic glances and quiet farewells as I silently trod the halls to my room, lost in a mental fog blacker than the deepest reaches of Queensfall. When I finally made it to my room I opened the door and listlessly walked through, nearly bumping into Nell as I did.
Nell and I grew up together, she started off as my playmate, and then became my personal guard. She was my closest friend and confidant. She currently looked like my twin dressed in her armor and carrying her full kit of weapons, her ears and tail a mirror image of my own.
We looked so similar, in fact, that she could have passed as a body double, if not for our eyes. My emerald eyes were much darker than her pine green ones. I did not know what to say to her now, I had thought we had said all that needed to be said last night, when I had tried to say my farewells to her, but now there were so many things that wanted to burst out of me that I just could not latch onto. Thankfully she broke the silence, otherwise it might never have been broken at all.
"Come on, let me help you get that packed away." She said softly. I nodded wordlessly, kicking myself for not being able to find something to say, and allowed her to help me strip out of the armor. I did not mind if she saw me without any clothes on, heavens knew we've seen each other naked plenty. When we were young kits we made a game of finding someplace out of the way and shedding our clothes, marveling at how different we were.
My mother tolerated this at first, but stopped it well before we matured. I had to remain celibate until I was sold to another Clan. Any sexual contact outside of my duty ran the risk of disease or a cub, the former would render me worthless to the Clan, and the latter would (if it became known) do much the same, though to a slightly lesser extent. Matriarchs wanted to know that the Tods they bought would not run around with other females besides their daughters, and if a Tod was promiscuous in his youth, what would stop him from being so in his later years?
Once my armor was shed Nell handed me the clothing that I would be wearing for the journey. I would wear a thick tan tunic and matching pants under a voluminous brown hooded robe. Normally, I would only have worn a robe and cloak over that, but given that it was still early spring and I was making a horseback journey I wanted a little more insulation from the cold. I was dressed quickly enough, and then we quickly packed my armor away.
My sword and bow would be going with me, as well as my knives, one of which I belted at my right hip. While I had been trained to use a spear, I do not particularly like them, so I did not have one myself. The talismans and foci that I carried to ward myself against magical attack were stowed in a hard leather case belted to my left hip. I also had a large water skin slung on my person, having learned the hard way that even if you could find water in Queensfall, it was rarely fit to drink. Once everything was squared away I turned to Nell again.
"I will miss you." I said quietly, unable to look her in the eye. "You are my best friend, like a sister to me." Mother was only been able to conceive thrice, one of my sisters did not survive the birth and the other, older than me by two years, was away in the royal military. Nell, whose father died young (like my own) quickly identified with me and we quickly grew close as kits. Mother did nothing to stop the friendship, wanting me to have a normal life as much as possible.
"I will miss you too Adam, it will not be the same here..." She trailed off, looking at the floor and fidgeting slightly. I knew her well enough to know she wanted to ask something, but was afraid to.
"Nell, what is it?" I coaxed gently, inadvertently using the same tone I would use to convince a frightened kit to tell me what was wrong. The fidgeting increased for a moment, and indecision visibly wracked her, but eventually she spoke again.
"Adam, would you...allow me a selfish request?" She could barely look me in the eye.
"What do you want?" I asked, ears pricking up curiously.
"I...my mother...we cannot afford to buy a Tod of course, when the time comes that I am ready for a kit I will have to go to one of the brothels to be...serviced." She blurted, rambling a bit. I knew all this of course, and my brow furrowed in confusion, she knew I could not give her a kit. The rest of her explanation came out in a rush. "I want to kiss you."
"You want to what?" I asked, taken aback. Then she looked at me and I knew. The tears in her eyes were more than just grief at me leaving.
"I want to know what it is like to be kissed by a male that cares about me." She said, miserably. "It is something I will not have when my time comes. You have always been there for me and...I know this is wrong, but I will miss you so much and..." She trailed off, choking on her own tears.
I was torn. What she asked was...improper, to say the least. She was my personal guard, and though she would not be accompanying me it was still inappropriate for me to do this; but she was also my friend. Perhaps it was unwise of me to do what I did, but it was the last time I was going to see her in a long time, and I was only too eager to grasp at anything that would ease that pain, even for a little while. So, despite what would happen if we got caught, I captured her gaze and walked over to her, wrapping my arms around her and allowing her to do the same. Then, gently and lovingly, I kissed her.
It was hardly my first kiss, or my tenth, or my hundredth for that matter. As I grew up there were more than a few young vixens in the clan who were eager to 'help me practice' for my eventual mating. I had not mated any of them, knowing what would become of me if I did, but kissing was not breeding, and as long as we kept our clothes on I was willing to risk it. In all honesty, between all of my various tutors and trainers, I had barely any time to do anything for purely personal enjoyment. My ocarina was a wonderful way to relax, but even that palled after a time, and there were many times I had welcomed the approach of a vixen curious to know what it felt like to kiss a male.
Even after the thrill of discovery and the rush that my first kiss gave me faded, it still felt good to spend a few minutes in a private corner of the mansion, muzzle to muzzle with a female; even though I had to be careful not to be seen, lest rumors start, and I always felt guilty afterwards.
I put everything into kissing Nell. My muzzle gently touched hers and I accommodated her inexperienced fumbles, she has explored with other vixens before, I was sure, but her schedule was almost as tight as my own, and I was definitely the veteran here. The first few moments were tender and exploratory, just us feeling each other out and me guiding her. Then I began to be a little bit more active, not going too fast, but showing her the next step up. After a minute of that I parted my jaws slightly and touched my tongue to her muzzle, asking for entrance.
She opened her mouth and I pushed my tongue in, kissing her more and more deeply until we were practically mating with our mouths. It was wonderful, I had never felt the kind of spark I felt with her, the other vixens I had kissed were wonderful, but being in Nell's arms and kissing like this was beyond the kittish excitement I had been used to in the same way the ocean is beyond a lake. Eventually though, we had to part, and we did so (reluctantly). We both leaned back, relaxing our embrace, which had become quite tight, and looked each other in the eye.
"Nell, if I could-" She placed a paw on my muzzle, smiling slightly even though tears were still falling from her eyes.
"I know you would Adam...and I really wish I could get my kit from you, but that is not how things turned out and we have to accept that."
"No matter how much we wish it were otherwise." I agreed, bitterly. She sniffed and lifted her paw to scrub at the tears on her muzzle, but I caught it in my own, leaning in and gently cleaning her with my tongue instead, my own selfish indulgence. She did nothing to stop me, and held me in her arms the whole time, two friends mourning their parting.
***
The courtyard of Blackwood Manor was more than large enough to hold the entire Lakedweller retinue which (especially with the addition of mother's honor guards) was quite large, and covered in slightly mossy flagstones worn smooth with age. The courtyard itself was a square surrounded on all sides by the mansion, with a single gate, heavily guarded with a steel portcullis more suited for a castle as opposed to a clan compound. The forest had been cleared around the manor itself, but the sky was overcast and dreary, and what little midmorning light the sun produced was largely blocked by the thick cloud cover.
There was also a great deal of fog, as was normal for this time of year, not that it made anyone happy. The mists seemed to pierce through every article of clothing you wore and dampened your fur, keeping you just too cold to be comfortable. It was maddening. I was no stranger to cold, Lakedweller's mansion is in the mountains and our winters are harsh, but this clinging wet chill was, in its own way, worse than the harsh driving snows I was accustomed to. I only hoped that the fog would clear up later. I was about to ask mother what she thought, after a decade on nearly constant campaign in the army she has a good sense for the weather, when Adam came out.
He had been quick enough about packing his armor and changing that he was out before our party was entirely ready to go, if only just. When he came out his eyes were bloodshot, as were those of the soldier that shadowed him in a way that clearly told me she was his guard. The parcel that contained his armor was quickly grabbed by one of ours as he approached Mother and was quickly carried off to be packed onto a pack horse. Priscilla was standing by the gate of the mansion, where she would say her final farewell as we passed by. Mother signaled for the guard to leave, and she did so promptly. We politely ignored the tears that glistened in her eyes.
Adam approached without being told and when he got closer I saw that his eyes were dry, despite the abundance of red blood vessels. The traveling robe he wore was open, revealing the shirt and pants he wore underneath, and the sleeves would not cover his paws if they hung loose, and a pair of leather gloves hung from his belt. He also wore leather pawcovers that were obviously meant as much for protection as comfort. Mother looked him over, noting the knife and belt case he wore with mild interest and nodded approvingly.
"Practical." She mused. "Good. I like to see that you are more concerned with practicality rather than looks."
"The Shades do not make allowances for fashion." He replied quietly, valiantly trying to hide the roughness in his voice. Mother's face softened slightly, and I could not help but feel a pang of sympathetic pain. I had not thought what this meant for him, not really. I knew of course, but I had not really thought about what it would be like to leave your home and go to a strange new place where you would suddenly take on a great deal of responsibilities you did not have before, training was all well and good, but there was a big difference between that and reality. "May I go see to my horse?"
"Priscilla has seen to that already." Mother said. "Stay here, we need to discuss a few things."
"Yes, Matriarch." There would not be much discussion going on, with mother there rarely was. She would give orders, and you would obey, it was as simple as that. But she was being polite since we were in public.
"First off, you will be travelling with Tamara and I, in the middle of the column. We have Blackwood guides front and back, and every one of my retinue is a soldier in Lakedweller's militia." This was probably meant to comfort him and impress on him that running would be impossible, though I doubted if we could catch a Blackwood in this forest if they did not want to be found. "Second, you will be responsible for your own horse and its gear, just like the rest of us. Understand?"
"Yes Matriarch." He replied. Then mother glanced at me significantly and I cleared my throat. He turned to me, regarding me with the same polite deference he gave mother, which gave me an unexpected rush of exhilaration, I was not the Matriarch yet, but he still looked to me for orders.
"You will be sharing a tent with me." I informed him. He nodded silently. Mother told me that I had to start interacting with him, we were going to have to get accustomed to one another after all, and I wanted to get some progress before we got back and my sisters start clamoring for his attention. At this point the all ready call went out and our guards started mounting.
At a motion from mother we did the same. My horse was a chestnut gelding of no particular distinction. I was not partial to riding and would rather avoid it if possible, but I was not unreasonable and given the distance we would be covering in the next few days I was glad for the horse. Mother was riding her old Cavalry mount, as usual; a particularly spirited mare that she handled with the perfect ease of longtime acquaintance. Adam's horse was another gelding, and was black with white socks and a white splotch on the muzzle. The way he stroked the horse's neck and murmured to it told me that he felt at least some affection for the beast, and the way he rode instantly informed me that he was at ease in the saddle.
As we left Blackwood Mansion, filing slowly out of the main gate, I glanced around and saw a great many of the Clan in windows or standing in the courtyard. They were all silent, all of them watching Adam. As our guards passed through the gate they nodded respectfully to Pricilla, who ignored them. When Adam rode by she reached out a paw and gently grasped his left arm. He stopped and looked at her from his place in the saddle.
"I love you Adam...farewell." She said, her voice, while not loud, carrying across the courtyard with perfect clarity.
"I love you too, mother." He replied before reluctantly letting go of her paw. The exchange had been the most emotional thing I had seen out of any members of the stoic clan, and as if it was a signal, quiet murmurs of farewell spilled forth from the rest of the Clan, following us as we rode and being quickly swallowed by the thick fog.
***
Our progress through Queensfall was slow right out of the gate, which was sadly typical. No matter how many times you traverse its myriad paths you always seem to run into something that would slow you down and make you miserable. This particular trip was made aggravating by the fact that our horses kept tripping on the roots of the pine trees that closed in on either side of the path, the top layer of dirt having been washed away by the melt water of a particularly snowy winter.
Even though we traveled on the main path connecting the lands of Blackwood and Lakedweller, the company had to pass two by two at most and single file more often than not. The solid wall of grey clouds that had settled in last night did not bring any snow or rain, for which we were all thankful, but that did not mean we were comfortable. The air was damp and fog obscured the trees a stone's throw on either side of the path. The guides knew their work though, and we were not in danger of losing our path during the day. So far the Shades had left us alone, which was a comfort. Even if one of the less malevolent ones appeared we would probably have lost an hour just getting the horses back under control and we would run a real risk of losing a mount at the least and more likely a mount and rider.
My mood was heavy. I was heartsick and homesick already, for which I could not help but hold myself in contempt. Colette was not much of a conversationalist, and while Tamara occasionally attempted to initiate a conversation with me her attempts always died out quickly, the overwhelming silence of the forest and my own lack of anything remotely like a conversational mood stifled her attempts and before noon she stopped trying, remaining silent as we rode, just like everyone else.
The Lakedweller contingent was universally afraid of the forest, even if they went to great length to hide it. The way they nervously looked over their shoulders when they thought no one was looking and jumped at birdcalls would have once given me great amusement, but now it seemed hollow. I was dreading nightfall, not as much because of the denizens of the forest, though anyone not frightened of them is a fool, I was simply used to the knowledge of their presence.
No, I was dreading sharing a tent with Tamara. Since I was her consort now, she could technically demand my services whenever she wanted. I did not think she would make any demands now, but only time would tell. When dark came, early as always, we stopped and made camp. After I saw to my horse I helped out as I was able, helping assemble a tent here, retrieving a tool there, much the same as I always had when I was on a scouting run through the forest. I would have made dinner, but in true military fashion, everyone was eating pre-packed rations of jerky and trailbread instead, which was fine by me.
I stayed busy as long as possible, trying to delay the inevitable, but at Colette's orders the camp turned in early (except the night watch of course). When Colette proclaimed this, Tamara caught my eye and beckoned me. I did as I was instructed, painfully aware of the eyes on me as I vanished into her tent.
It was an unpretentious affair, which I found oddly comforting. It was made of plain undyed canvas, and if it was larger than a normal soldier's tent, it was no more spacious than what a higher ranking officer would have. Inside there was a small oil lamp, which Tamara quickly lit, and two bedrolls. Sometime earlier she had removed the armor she wore and replaced it with a cloth tunic and pants not dissimilar to my own clothing, though hers was dyed in Lakedweller blue which (I thought) clashed with her natural light red coloring and yellow green eyes sadly.
"Is there something you wish me to do?" I asked.
"Prepare your bedding first, then...we must talk." I did as she said, quickly unrolling the thick pad that would serve as a mattress for tonight, and unfolded the blanket I brought. I also grabbed a smaller, spare blanket, I packed but did not unfold it, I would be using that as a pillow. It was more convenient than carrying a real pillow (which is completely unfeasible when traveling in earnest) and if push came to shove you have another blanket. Once I was done, Tamara moved her bedroll right next to mine and my heart sank. When she was done she sat down and signaled me to do the same. I obediently did so.
"What is it you wish to discuss?" I asked neutrally. She closed her eyes a moment and took a breath before responding.
"We are going to be mates." She started bluntly. "I would like to know what kind of experience you have."
"I am a virgin." I replied stiffly, insulted that she apparently thought otherwise.
"I did not mean to say that you are not." She said quickly. "But you must have some experience with the...physical aspect of things." She pushed.
"Must I?" I asked in return, my self-control slipping for a moment. I regretted it instantly, but kept it from showing on my face.
"No one really expects Tods to be completely inexperienced before they are bought." She said, triggering two of my greatest sore points in one fell swoop. The expectation itself, and the rampant double standard.
"Yes. They do." I replied, unable to keep all the ice out of my tone. She winced slightly and flattened her ears, acknowledging her mistake.
"Well...say rather that I do not expect you to be totally inexperienced. So..." She trailed off, looking at me intently.
"I have kissed." I answered after a long pause, trying to keep the embarrassment out of my voice.
"Only kissed?" She asked, I nodded, still resentful. Apparently she did hold it against me after all, judging by her doubtful tone. "I see. I believe you know I am in line to be the next Matriarch, correct?"
"Yes." Did she think me a fool?
"Good. Since I am the eldest I will be your first mate."
"Do you mean to start now?" I asked, dreading a positive answer. Much to my relief she shook her head rather vigorously, the inside of her ears coloring. Well, she has some shame at least.
"No, not on the road." She said, blushing even more. "When we get back to our mansion I will, but for now, no."
"Are you going into season?" I asked, I rather doubted it, I would have smelled it by now, but it was better to ask. She did not seem like she would be angry at me for asking, and indeed she was not.
"No, my heat has already passed, but I am the eldest and your first mating is my responsibility." She responded.
"May I ask another question?"
"You do not have to ask my permission to do that." She said with an air of great generosity that made me want to roll my eyes. I restrained myself from doing so, knowing that it would be a bad idea.
"If I am not being too forward, do you have any sexual experience?" I ventured, inwardly smirking as I turned the tables on her. She coughed an embarrassed little cough before answering me.
"Yes, well, not with a male of course, but I have...helped my sisters through their estrous cycles, and they have helped me in turn." The way she shifted uncomfortably made me think there had been some experimenting between estrous cycles. I do not know why she was so embarrassed about that, every vixen I know has had at least some experience playing with another female, with the balance of males to females so skewed it was pretty much impossible to avoid that. Granted, such things between sisters are far more uncommon, but not unheard of, particularly for females in her situation.
"I see." I replied neutrally, careful to keep the amusement I was feeling at her obvious discomfort off my face.
"Anyway." She continued, quite desperate to return things to the original topic. "I will take you to bed when we get back, but before that we should get used to each other first." She was trying to remain calm and collected, but my nose did not lie, the arousal she was starting to feel was obvious to me, and the way she began to fidget ever so slightly was a giveaway.
"I will do as you ask." I said demurely, properly, though inside I was cringing. She actually shivered, the words exciting her. When she spoke next her voice was low and husky.
"Come closer." She ordered, pulling me into an embrace when I got close enough. Our legs splayed out awkwardly as we sat there our muzzles nearly touching. She started stroking my back with a paw and I fought to keep the discomfort off my face with a monumental effort of will. Her next command came out as a breathy whisper. "Kiss me."
I was reluctant in the extreme, but I reminded myself of my duty and closed the short distance between our muzzles and kissed her. It was nothing like kissing Nell, or even the other vixens I had happily played with back home. She was aggressive, skipping the buildup and immediately trying to gain access with her tongue. I held out for as long as I felt I could, but I quickly gave in and let her do as she would.
I immediately revised my earlier estimate as to the extent of her sexual exploration. Apparently much, if not all of it, had been under the influence of the estrous cycle. There was no consideration, no attempt to figure out what I liked, and worst of all she did not even make a pretense of allowing for my enjoyment (not that there would have been any). She had made it her mission to lick every part of my mouth and be as forceful about it as possible, it was completely random and horrifically invasive, not to mention loud; I felt my face heat up as I imagined the whole camp hearing the noises coming from our conjoined muzzles.
Her eyes were closed and her arms were squeezing me tightly against her as she roughly 'kissed' me. After a few moments she awkwardly guided us to the ground, which was even more uncomfortable for me. I screwed my eyes shut and tried to think about other things to make it go by faster, but the completely random nature of her oral assault made that hard. I only contributed enough to keep up the pretense of involvement, though as time went on I found I was able to get away with less and less, apparently in her mind I was less of a participant in this activity and more of a recipient. If she treated her sisters like this during their estrous cycles I may even feel sorry for them.
She was not very clean about it either, and after a while my muzzle was getting covered in saliva, her own muzzle was mostly spared since she had shifted largely on top of me and was doing her best to get into a dominant position without actually crawling on top of me. Disgust and revulsion twined into a slimy serpent that slithered up and down my guts, and thoughts of grappling techniques and dirty street fighting tricks my combat instructors taught me leapt unbidden to my mind as I tried to think of any way to end the salubrious nightmare.
Her disastrous attempt at kissing would have been bad enough, but her paws started to wander, bringing me no end of discomfort. I had to try desperately hard to keep from going stiff as a board and jumping each time one of her paws went somewhere I did not want them. She did not attempt to slide her paw between my legs, but other than that she did not have any reservations. My back, flanks, arms, neck, and even my belly got thoroughly 'explored'. Part of me hoped she would stumble across one of the holdout daggers I had secreted on my person and be surprised or offended enough to stop. Unfortunately I was not that lucky and she either ignored or missed my armaments as she continued on her quest to violate my person in the most thorough manner imaginable.
I quickly became sure that most of her experience in all things sexual was when she was in heat or her partner was. When a female is fully into her cycle and ready to breed they do not appreciate a slow start, they want immediate action, thus the mating tends to be quick and energetic, but this...this was ridiculous. She was squeezing me like you might squeeze a fruit to determine whether it is ripe or not, and she did not seem to grasp the concept that there is a difference between 'foreplay' and 'grappling'. Thankfully, I was able to make an excuse to break it off when her paw did start drifting awfully close to my privates.
I pulled back, breaking the kiss and simultaneously pushing on her shoulder with a paw. She looked confused and annoyed; I thought quickly and avoided her gaze, doing my best to look embarrassed, which was not at all hard.
"I...I am sorry." I apologized, finding myself sickened by how simpering I sounded. "Your paws were...I am not ready yet, we only just met." Thankfully she accepted that, sighing regretfully and pulling back, wiping her muzzle with the back of a paw. I did the same, though I needed to do it a few times before I was dry again.
"I suppose there is no reason we have to explore everything at once, we have plenty of time." She said, reminding me once again that I had her two sisters as well as her to worry about, and the rest of my life to worry about them. "That was nice though. Good practice for when we get back." If the actual mating was going to be anything like her idea of kissing I wanted no part of it, I would like to keep my member unbruised thank you very much.
"Perhaps we should sleep." I suggested, studiously avoiding her eyes and acting flustered and embarrassed, which still was not very hard, since I was both (and angry), just not for the reasons she thought. "We will be getting up early after all."
"True." She said reluctantly, obviously wanting an excuse to start 'kissing' again. I did not give her the option; I quickly settled myself in my bedroll and rolled onto my side. My hopes of a semi-comfortable night's rest were dashed when she settled into her own bedroll and draped an arm over me. "Good night."
"Good night." I responded out of habit. It took me a long time to get to sleep that night. I could taste her long after she had finished her sloppy parody of kissing, and the reminder only stoked the smoldering anger I had been feeling more or less constantly since I had left home. My stomach actually started to churn not long after she fell asleep, snoring softly directly into my ear. The nausea only made me angrier and it
***
On the morning of our second day in Queensfall I woke up as early as I ever had in the army and saw to it that camp was broken down quickly. As I did I kept a covert eye on Tamara and Adam. I had suggested they share a tent the previous day, and I wanted to see if I could get an indication of how it went. I did not like what I saw.
Adam had obviously not slept well, his eyes were as bloodshot as they had been yesterday and he was yawning frequently. He was also acting very uncomfortable around Tamara and was trying to stay as far away from her as he could while still being subtle about it. To his credit, he was very good at hiding the fact that he apparently did not want to be within ten feet of my daughter if he could help it, unfortunately he was subtle enough that Tamara had no clue.
She was quite perky, something that was definitely out of character for her. She normally bore a great resemblance to a grizzly bear early in the morning, easily angered and best avoided. Today she was smiling and her step had a definite spring to it. She was almost gliding across the camp, with her mind obviously not on her tasks. This was obvious to everyone who cared to look, and though I do not think any of my guards picked up on how uncomfortable Adam was, the Blackwood guides had done so instantly and were trading glances and whispered comments which would surely make it back to Priscilla. I felt anger starting to swell up in my breast but I would have to put off my inevitable discussion with Tamara until we got home. No matter how stupid she had been I could not undermine her in front of the troops she would one day be leading. At least not for a personal matter.
That said, I was still far from pleased with my eldest daughter. It was not hard to figure out what had transpired the previous night, they had not mated, I had warned Tamara against that and we all would have smelled if they had; but there had obviously been some kind of contact, and more than Adam had wanted. I sighed internally, when I told Tamara that they needed to start interacting I had not meant physically, not yet.
The fact of the matter is that it is simply too soon, Adam needs time to settle in and grow accustomed to the responsibilities he is going to be taking on, not to mention time to let the homesickness ease. I should probably have been more specific when I talked to Tamara, she is extremely literal minded and obviously she had not understood my full meaning. I was no better at her age, but still, she has made a lot of work for herself and her sisters. He would be on the defensive now, which was not the best frame of mind to be in when entering into a romantic and sexual relationship.
I made a mental note to gather my girls and give them all a more thorough talk on the finer points of etiquette when it came to their new mate, Richard would want to take Adam aside anyway. I probably should have done this earlier, but with all the shit that had happened before the negotiations it had simply slipped my mind. Oh well, nothing I could do about it now but hope she did not push Adam too far and create a scene, or rather, create more of one anyway. Damn, not a good start to the journey.
***
I woke up feeling better than I had since before those blasted negotiations, the memory of my exploration with Adam fresh in my memory. I had kissed before of course, though not very much. I keep my base urges thoroughly in check, it was a necessity for a matriarch-in-training, especially one apprenticed to a Matriarch of mother's temperament. I have not wasted my time with romance, knowing that I would be getting a Tod to share with my sisters, and the only times I have allowed myself to give into my body's mating instinct is when I have been in estrous and I cannot think of anything else.
As the oldest, I had to endure two cycles without a partner to ease the suffering, and mother is not one to coddle her daughters, so I had to make do with a few desperate moments of stolen time throughout the days to escape someplace private and attack myself with a paw until the urges became bearable, perhaps in other Clans the Matriarch's daughters are relieved of their responsibilities during their cycles and allowed to wallow in their lower urges, but not in Lakedweller.
When Alicia came into heat for the first time and began whining to mother about how awful it was she (predictably) gave in and allowed her the indulgence of a partner, to which I quickly objected. Mother growled about it, but after a quick word from Papa she revised her statement and officially gave us permission to relieve each other during our respective cycles on the condition that we only went to each other for solace and not anyone else, she did not want others getting involved with us and forming any potential relationships. Alicia protested this, but mother came down hard on her and refused to go any further than she already had.
I do not particularly enjoy helping Alicia, and she does not particularly enjoy helping me either. Sarah, our younger sister, enjoys it more, but she is not attracted to males. A fact that mother is blind to, if no one else is, and gives her no end of anxiety. Alicia and I do not care of course, and neither does father, but she is terrified of mother finding out, a feeling with which I can strongly identify. Still, she is much better at soothing the unbearable cravings that beset us each year, so we do not complain, and do our best to satisfy her in turn.
That will change now that we finally have a Tod. No more stealthy late night trips to one of my sisters' rooms, no more awkward crawling under blankets and between sweaty thighs, no more unpleasant taste lingering on my sore tongue and paws as I wearily creep back to my room and try to sleep. Better yet, no more days spent flushed and irritable, unbearably conscious of the reek pouring off of me as my body futilely advertises for a male, no more nights spent with spread legs and clenched teeth, loathing the necessity of the tongue parting my folds. Now we will finally be able to be satiated properly, by a male.
I cannot wait to finally be able to be productive during that time of year. I am not ready to start bearing kits yet, but there are remedies to prevent exactly that, mostly used by older females who cannot safely bear kits but still wish to indulge themselves. Given my status it will not be hard to discreetly get my paws on some even if mother does not provide any for my sisters and I. Then I will be able to spend an hour with Adam early in the morning and not have to worry about smelling like a brothel the rest of the day, not to mention being able to think about something besides mating for more than five seconds at a time.
Looking at Adam he seemed a little flustered, and I suppose that is natural. He said he has kissed before, and I believe him, but his mother could not have allowed him to indulge too much, and given that he is inexperienced with the more advanced portions of sexuality last night must have been a first for him. I found that I did not mind. In a way, it is titillating to know that I will be his first. Granted, once I have done my duty and given him a proper initiation I do not expect to be sharing my bed with him very much. Between my schedule and my sisters I probably will not be benefiting from his attentions very often.
When I decide to start breeding in earnest I will employ him a little more often I suppose, as is my right, mating the few days before my estrous cycle and a few days after will increase the chances of conception, but until that time I will likely have to make do with what time I can squeeze in early in the morning or late at night. It was regrettable, but unfortunate I supposed.
***
I woke up the next morning feeling doubly awful, Tamara's arm and her warm presence tucked against my back reminded me forcefully of my situation and what had transpired between us last night. Thankfully she was an impressively heavy sleeper, so I was able to extricate myself from her grasp without her waking up and insisting on a good morning kiss or some such. I hope her sisters are not so...so...ugh, I cannot even think of a proper word for it, though crude, barbaric, perverse, and gauche all come readily to mind. The do not, unfortunately appropriately capture the depth of my feelings on the matter.
As I exited the tent I noticed that I was among the first up and about, the only ones beside me were the night guards and the Blackwood guides (who had taken it in turn to sleep, much like the night watch). Colette was also awake, though she did not interact with me directly. Camp was in the process of being broken and seeing no need to consult with Colette to receive an unnecessary order, and likely a scathing look for stupidity, I helped out.
The tasks were simple routine, the same sorts of things the Queensfall patrols did every morning, so I am an old hand at them, much to the surprise and (grudging) appreciation of the Lakedweller soldiers. They did not talk with me, not being sure whether it was appropriate or not, and probably being slightly intimidated by the fact that I am a Blackwood, and therefore (in their minds) just as likely to ignore them or stab them as respond. I did not mind, the less talking the faster we could get underway, and while I am not looking forward to my new home, anything is better than camping in Queensfall.
Tamara got up not long after I did, and after a quick greeting to her mother, began breaking camp along with everyone else. That was, I suppose, a redeeming quality. She does do her fair share around the camp, now if only she did not keep trying to get close to me...
After camp was broken and everyone was ready to get underway again Colette called a quick conference as the last items were lashed onto the pack horses and everyone finished the trail rations pulled from their packs for breakfast.
"Listen up!" She began, issuing orders like the natural leader she was. "We did not make it as far as I wanted last night, and according to our guides the trail does not get any smoother for some miles yet." There was some hushed groaning at this, which she glared into silence. She had the kind of glare you can only get from training soldiers or being a bloodthirsty psychopath, understated, but piercing and weighty. "If we are lucky, we will reach the edge of Queensfall by day's end and we will be able to camp on the mountain path, if we are unlucky, we will be spending another night here. Either way, we won't be getting home until the day after tomorrow at the earliest. Any questions?" Silence. "Good! Mount up!"
With that little nugget of disappointment to start off our day, we managed to set an awfully slow pace for the next few hours. The guides, apparently, had a gift for understatement bordering on the Praeternatural. When they said the trail 'did not get better' they had either had a marked lapse in judgment or decided to play a joke on the rest of us. I have no idea how the trail managed to turn into the rooty, muddy, quagmire that it did, but I suspected some malevolent weather deity had to have been involved. Either that or there had been a mild flood at some point, which was not unheard of during particularly wet springs.
Our progress was even slower than yesterday, a fact which bid fair to infuriate everyone to the point of violence; and if that was not enough, the clouds broke and a weak, pissing sort of rain started to fall. This made the trail all but unusable and we ended up leading the horses on any open space we could find beside it for much of the journey. We were cold, we were wet, and we were miserable. If I had been depressed yesterday, today was infinitely worse. On top of the heartsickness I felt, the cold had pierced my bones like it had everyone else's, and my pants were clinging to my crotch in a fashion that could only be described as tortuous. With all of that piled on top of my already black mood I was as sullen and surly as I had ever been. My only solace in all of this was that Tamara did not even make an attempt to talk to me; she was too busy struggling with her own uncooperative horse to worry about talking to me.
Hopefully tonight she would be too tired to attempt another assault like last night's debacle. I was not betting on it though, the occasional glances she sent me were pretty heated, and I suspected I would end up with her wrapped painfully around me and groping me again before I was able to sleep. I truly hoped her sisters were not like that. I have always been a little jealous of the females, they can do as much as they want with each other without the risk of pregnancy and (as long as they are careful choosing their partners) disease.
I really did want to mate...but if mating is anything like Tamara's kissing, which I am sure it is not supposed to be, I highly doubt I will enjoy it much. I have masturbated before, in fact it was a fairly regular habit of mine (despite the guilt inherent to the act), especially if I had spent some time kissing a female that day. I know that orgasm feels good, but if it is preceded by painful groping and frenzied mauling I would have to question whether it is worth it. If her sisters prove to be more circumspect and less forceful maybe I will revise my assumptions.
***
'Damn the rain, damn the mud, damn the horses, damn it damn it damn it!' I mentally screamed. 'Who in their right mind decided that this shithole forest is a decent place to live?'
It was midday, and our progress was so slow I swear I could still see our morning campsite. It had started off bad, and only got worse when the rain started and turned the trail into soup. Before an hour I was shivering with cold and wishing for a forest fire to dry out the damn path. The Blackwood guides had to have been just as miserable as everyone else, but they hid it like they hid everything they felt or thought, which only annoyed me even more for some reason.
I was going to be dreadfully stiff tomorrow morning, and I did not even want to think about how sore I will be. When we get home I will have to be sure to get a massage. Yes, a massage sounds wonderful, a long massage with plenty of cinnamon oil to burn away the tension in my muscles, then a brushing with something to soften my fur, but first a cup of mulled wine, with a little brandy in it, to warm me up faster. I distracted myself with thoughts of the luxuries of home while I fought my horse and slipped in the mud. I looked at Adam periodically, to see how he was doing, and found that he was no better off than I was. Maybe tonight, if I have any energy left, we can spend some time kissing again. Anything that would make me feel good after this slog was welcome indeed.
Now that I thought back on last night, he had not been very involved, perhaps he had not been as experienced as he said. Or he might have been reluctant to take an active role, afraid I would not have liked it or some such rubbish. I heard from the kits of other Matriarchs that males are timid at first, they do not know what to do and do not want to risk angering their mates and endangering the deal that got them where they were.
If that was so, I would have to make sure he knew he did not have to worry about that, I want him to be active in our breeding, he deserves that much. I may not be able to mate with him very often, but it would be extremely unfair if he did not feel like he could enjoy himself. Yes, tonight I will talk to him and explain to him that he need not fear reprisals from me, given the way things were going I would not have enough energy to repeat what we had done last night anyway.
***
I spent ten years in the army and this damn trail was as bad as any pathless lump of rock the Queen felt her cavalry needed to occupy. No wonder Clan Blackwood has never been successfully attacked by another Clan, moving a force of any substantial size through Queensfall would be bloody impossible. You might as well try to launch a warship in a creek. The guides were taking it in turn to scout the trail ahead, always going in pairs or groups of three, though I did not pay much attention to this until one of their expeditions came back with good news: the trail ahead had fared better under the onslaught of weather that had caused this part of it to become nigh unusable.
If we could get beyond the last nasty bit we would be able to finally start making good time. This news, when I repeated it loudly for the benefit of the rest of the group, was met with a universal sigh of relief. The news also improved morale a bit, which I was grateful for. Angry miserable soldiers are prime for any number of stupid stunts and pointless fights, something I did not want to risk, especially not with our new Tod with us.
I glanced at Adam discreetly as we went. He was having trouble with his horse, but so was everyone else. Hell, even I was having trouble with old Firelocks, and she's been my mount for going on five years now. When he was able to ride he definitely rode like he knew what he was doing, and though I could not see him employing that particular skill often after he gets to Lakedweller Mansion, I find myself approving of Priscilla's decision to teach him.
He also mentioned receiving combat training, and the way he wore his armor earlier could not be faked, he had experience wearing it. The hilt of his sword was well-worn, I had noted that when I had first laid eyes on it, an old habit of mine from the army. Whenever I see someone carrying arms I find myself assessing them, and Adam's sword had not been merely a decorative accessory. The hilt had the kind of nicks and scratches that come from hard use and upkeep, as did the rest of the armor he had been wearing.
I would reserve judgment until I saw him fight, but from what I had seen I would wager he was at least competent, and it was nice to know that he can defend himself if the need arises. When I get back and he has settled in some I will have to ask him about his training, that should get him talking, something he does not do much of on his own as far as I can tell.
He is like all the Blackwoods I have met, quiet in the same way rocks and trees are quiet. Tamara may not be bothered overmuch by that, at least at first, but Sarah and especially Alicia will be driven mad by it. Besides, if there is to be any hope for them to have a happy relationship they are going to have to learn to communicate, and if Adam is anywhere near as bottled up as all the other Blackwoods I have met that is going to be an issue. The whole Clan is just so damn passive aggressive, dealing with their scouts in the army was enough to drive me to drink. They were competent, but they never formed a cohesive group with the rest of the soldiers. They held themselves apart and they were so damn stoic getting more than three words out of them at a stretch was like trying to launder a cat. If Adam is like that in the normal course of things, and not just when he is upset at leaving his birth Clan, there will be major problems down the road.
If he lets my daughters walk all over them, and they will if they are given half a chance, they will not respect him and then he will start to resent them and the whole thing will become an awful mess. The more talking I could get him to do the better; Richard will be my best ally there, as he is in all things. He will be able to connect with Adam in a way I just cannot, and hopefully convince him to open up. He will also be able to help Adam acclimatize to his new situation.
My thoughts suddenly sent an ill-timed warmth to my loins and I scowled. It has been over a week, nearly two, since I have seen my mate, and my body was reminding me. Since my sister died I have been Richard's only mate, and I reaped the benefits of the peculiar situation. It was quite nice being the only female my mate has to satisfy, especially now that we are getting older and he is slowing down some, not that I would ever fault him for that, heavens know he can still put me through my paces when he puts his mind to it, the simple fact of the matter is that we are both aging.
We simply do not have the energy we did a few decades ago, and though that can be annoying at times, it does not bother me overmuch. Over the years we have long since found what works for us, and if we are not denting the floorboards with our exertions, the long and almost tortuously drawn out matings we enjoy are in some ways better than the frenetic, nearly painful, romps of our youth.
Those who think breeding gets tired and stale as your years lengthen are fools, and though I am the first to admit I occasionally want a bit more energy, I am content. Maybe after we have passed on, to the realm beyond this one, where our bodies will not age and be forever in the prime of youth, then we will be able to experience the best of both worlds: the unbridled lust and desperate need of the young, and the slower, learned, passions of the after years. If I am the first to leave this life, I will be sure to welcome Richard (when he comes) with something like we enjoyed when we were just mated.
Oh damn, when did I become a lustful young vixen again? I am far too old to be thinking such kittish thoughts as-
"Shade!" The cry from the lead Blackwood scout shattered my reverie like a brick through a stained glass window. It had suddenly gotten dark, so dark we had nearly blundered into a writhing mass of what looked like a moving puddle of night sky, if a puddle could be imagined to be vertical and large enough to completely wall off the path. I did not know how it got to us so stealthily and so quickly, but I did not like the fact that it did.
Horses screamed and reared, Firelocks bucked violently and I was thrown from the saddle, coming to my hindpaws instantly as combat instincts kicked in. As the strange thing slowly oozed towards us, an uncanny feeling preceded it, like a wind made of sound and feeling rather than moving air. It made all my fur stand on end and I instinctively gritted my teeth against the strange feeling. The Blackwoods had all raised copper charms in their paws, which had started glowing with an unearthly green light that seemed to give the coming monstrosity pause, but after a brief moment of hesitation it continued its approach.
As the leading edge of it came within one hundred feet of our group I started to hear things, whispers, coming from it. I could not quite catch them, it was like seeing something in the corner of your eye, turning to see it, and failing, only to have something else appear in the corner of your other eye. I saw some of the others cover their ears, apparently hearing the same thing I was. I grit my teeth and reached across my torso to draw my sword, only to feel a paw clamp down on my wrist and twist it away.
I looked down, ready to violently assault anyone who would be so foolish, only to see Adam frantically shaking his head.
"What are you-"
"Do not draw your weapons!" He hissed urgently. The wall of midnight sky, I now saw, was complete with stars. Granted they were no stars I had ever seen. It stopped twenty feet ahead of the furthest Blackwood guide, whose paw was shaking visibly, the rest of them were straining to hold the thing back, and whatever magic they were using to repel the beast was wavering.
Now that it was closer I could get a better look at it, it was completely shapeless, a blob of impossible darkness and twinkling lights. In the 'center' of the creature, there was a large mass of lights, like a cluster of stars, but there was something wrong with it, the stars in it did not stay constant as they should have. They grew and shrank at random, changing through a range of colors occasionally winking out only to reappear a few moments later; and at the center of that was a swirling mass of something that I could not bear to look at, just glancing at it made my eyes water and my brain twist inside my skull.
"If you anger it, we are all dead, or worse."
"W-what is t-that t-t-thing?" Tamara whispered, her voice quivering, she had been walking her horse, which was seemingly paralyzed along with the rest of our mounts.
Adam ignored her, his eyes were fixed on the creature intently, like he was in a staring contest. Then, slowly, he raised his left paw and a dark blue glow surrounded it, rippling like sunlight off water. The whispering suddenly increased and everyone but the scouts covered their ears, ducking away from the otherworldly noise. Adam stood solid, his teeth grit, and the glow increased in brilliance.
"We are travelers, making our way out of this forest, they are ignorant of your ways-" His voice changed as he spoke, or I suppose I should have said he switched languages, but whatever noises came out of his muzzle were not meant for mortal ears, they were sinuous, slithering things that wiggled their way into my skull by force and made my ears pop as he said them "They mean no offense, they are merely ignorant. Let us pass, and we shall be gone from here, and trouble you no longer."
"Adam! What are you doing?" I growled under my breath, forcing my voice to remain steady with the same ironclad will I had used to do the same while giving orders in battle. He did not pay me any mind, staying focused on the thing barring our path. After I spoke the whispers intensified again, and now I felt something prod me, like a spectral bucket of ice water had been thrown into my guts.
I doubled over and gagged. Tamara shouted my name, but it was strangled halfway through and I heard her hit the ground before starting to cough and retch.
"They do not know anything of you- Thing That Dwells Between The Shadows Of The Stars-" The strange sounds slithered out of his muzzle again and I marveled that he could say them without hurting himself. "They are not of the Clan of flesh creatures that abides in the forest, they are outsiders, unaware of you and those like you." I looked around and saw other members of our party gagging and doubling over as they were probed in turn. The Blackwoods escaped this fate, but not because their magic held up I think, the green barrier was so fragile now that it looked like I could have blown it out like a candle. Through it though, I could see a shadow or a reflection of whatever this thing was using to probe us, but it did not make sense, it was an amalgam of shapes and curves that should not have been able to coexist, I quickly averted my eyes.
The whispering started again, and the intrusion returned, stronger this time, and then Tamara whimpered. Adam spoke again quickly. "We meant you no offense, our path intersected yours. Our world is not as fluid as your own, we cannot move like you can, we are bound to one time, to one place. If you let us pass we will not bother you again."
The whispers died down a moment, and I risked a glimpse upward, Adam had taken a few steps forward and was standing up straight, facing the thing head-on. His paw was firm as he held it up, but I could see the tension written all across his body. If he was talking to this thing, if he could understand whatever it was 'saying' I could not imagine what it was doing to his head. Looking around at the rest of the group I saw nearly all of them on the ground, some lying down, apparently unconscious, those that were on their feet were half crouched, frozen in terror.
Tamara was on all fours, like fully half of our entourage, including myself. Suddenly she shook again and heaved, spilling the contents of her stomach.
"Tamara!" I called roughly, extending a paw only to pull it back sharply as I felt the influence of the thing. She silently but harshly vomited, her eyes and nose streaming as she repeatedly convulsed.
"They are not like us! They are not the ones you are used to! They have never felt your touch, they cannot take any more!" Adam said insistently. More whispering, but the note had changed, inasmuch as such a thing could be measured, either way Adam sounded relieved when he spoke again. "Yes, yes, outsiders, from beyond the forest. We are going there now, out, beyond, to a place where we cannot impede your tasks."
"M-mother." Tamara whispered, glancing between the thing, Adam, and me. "Are...are you-" She was cut off by a sharp increase in the whispering. This time Adam was taken aback, literally, he took a half step backward.
"Y-yes, I am leaving too...not forever, I will return in the span of time I have left to me...I will be traveling elsewhere, beyond my destination." He stiffened suddenly as the whispers interrupted him. "I am not suited to-" Violent whispers, angry ones, the Blackwoods' field flickered dangerously and they all grunted in apparent effort. He swallowed audibly and replied with the same tone you might use at your own execution when you are asked for your last words. "I...accept."
"Accept?" One of the Blackwood guides blurted roughly, looking at him like he was mad. This sentiment was apparently shared by the rest of them, but the lapse in concentration of the one was enough for the whole barrier to fade, and the presence of the otherworldly thing sharply increased to a near unbearable level. My head swam and my stomach roiled now that our only protection was gone.
Then, to my horror, the creature slowly extruded a stygian tentacle through the air and wrapped it around Adam's upraised paw. The mixing of energies was immediate and violent; Adam's magical aura flickered and was consumed by the blackness of the creature. He went rigid, his back arching slightly backwards and his tail fluffing out like a bottle brush. The contact lasted barely a moment, but it seemed like an eternity. When it was over he staggered, nearly losing his balance. His left arm fell limp, though it twitched spasmodically from time to time. His right arm was braced on his knee, the only thing keeping him upright.
"It is done." He forced out, sounding pained. "Now let us pass."
The whispering lingered for a moment, but then it mercifully started to fade and I looked up to see the creature moving, drifting through the forest soundlessly, we all watched its retreat until we could no longer see it or feel its presence. The silence of the forest was broken by the ragged gasps of my guards and the Blackwood guides who, though seemingly having some kind of resistance to the creature's influence, had been closer to it and been subjected to more than the rest of us.
When I looked up again Adam was gripping his left bicep with his right paw, the flickering glow I saw around his arm indicating a magical working of some sort. Somewhere up overhead a crow cawed harshly, the sudden sound broke the spell that had been over us.
"We need to move." The lead Blackwood guide, Nina, said urgently. Then she, along with the rest of the guides, who were better off than the rest of us if not fully recovered yet, went through the group and started helping those who had fallen get back on their feet. The horses had been frozen just like the rest of us, and now they were acting strangely, not terrified as I thought they would be, but almost drunk, wobbling around dazed. I grabbed Firelocks' reigns to prevent her from wandering off and tried to get Adam's attention, but I was cut off by a sound behind me, Tamara was retching again, dry heaving hard.
Adam walked over to her on unsteady hindpaws and knelt down beside her. He had torn the sleeve off of his robe, which had turned black and was disintegrating where it fell on the ground, and clamped a bronze armband around his bicep; a simple circle of metal with a cabochon cut sapphire set into it, the gem was slowly turning black from the outside in. The feeling of wrongness that had lingered around him from his contact with the thing had disappeared, seemingly into the arm band.
"Come on Tamara, you need to get up, we need to move, the further away from here we get the better you will feel." He said, grabbing her under the armpits and pulling her to her feet with a grunt of effort. She was shaking like a leaf, and she had to lean on him to stand.
"W-what was that?" She asked fearfully.
"I will tell you after we have left this place and we are away from the Taint." He said, grabbing her canteen from her belt, holding it up to her mouth and talking to her like she was a young kit. "Here, rinse your mouth out...good, now again." He pulled out his own water skin and handed held it up to her mouth, helping her drink. Hers would have vomit in it and would have to be emptied and re-filled. "Try and drink a little, not too much though, or you will be sick again...there, good."
"Is that thing going to come back?" I asked, my voice rough.
"I hope not." He replied. He was steadier now, which had as much to do with the fact that he was comforting Tamara and thus able to distract himself from what had just happened as much as the resistance the Blackwoods seemed to have, or so I guessed. "But it is not wise to tempt fate. The Taint will linger here for some time, and staying will only make you all worse. The more miles we put between us and this place the better."
"You heard him!" I tried to bellow like they taught us in officer's training, but had to settle for a civilian strength shout. "Mount up, the faster we move the better we feel!" Tamara tried to disengage herself from Adam, but started weaving drunkenly the instant she was bereft of his support. He immediately stepped forwards and grabbed her again, despite her weak protests.
"You will be riding with me." He said firmly. "You are in no shape to ride on your own, and you need to be monitored for signs of Taint Sickness. You got touched more than the rest, more than any outsider is ready for. More than anyone is ready for really."
"I can ride!" She said.
"Listen to him." I ordered. "He knows best. I will take care of your horse, now do as he says!"
In the end, despite our best efforts, it took us a long time to get moving again. Everyone was sick, including the horses, and more than a few of us left our meals on the ground before we finally started putting some distance behind us. The residual presence of the thing was easily felt, and as we passed through the space where it had been it was noticeably stronger, but it was deteriorating quickly, like ice thrown into a kettle of boiling water. Adam and the guides had been right to urge us to move, after about an hour of riding the terror of the encounter, which had stuck with us, had drastically and abruptly lessened, and the lingering nausea and other symptoms passed as well, for the most part.
Of our party, Tamara was the only one still doing badly. She was slumped over in the saddle in front of Adam, which was awkward since she was bigger and taller. Thankfully he knew his business and his horse was a tolerant beast. He had watched her like a hawk for the first half hour or so, presumably looking for any sign of Taint Sickness, whatever that was, but he had relaxed some. He had also taken to murmuring to her from time to time, nothing I could catch, but whatever it was it seemed to ease her somewhat. After we got a fair way she revived enough to ask (for the third or fourth time) the question that was on everyone's mind.
"Adam, what was that thing?" Her voice was weak, but she was returning to her normal self, much to my relief.
"It was a Shade." He replied, loud enough for the rest of the group to hear. "One of the Things that lives in Queensfall. That particular one is among the...less malevolent."
"That is one way to put it." Nina said with a rusty chuckle. "Not immediately hostile you should say."
"Either way, we were lucky it was no in a hostile mood, or a playful one., neither one would be felicitous to our survival." Adam said, making the rest of us cringe. "We could have run into far worse."
"What is it though?" Tamara insisted. Nina shrugged and the Blackwoods made similar gestures, the shared experience loosening them up enough to communicate more demonstrably.
"We do not really know." Adam said. "They, the Shades that is, are all different, some have physical forms. The Imps that everyone knows about for instance, but those are the weaker ones. They are to the greater Shades what dogs are to us: like in form, but smaller and lesser in mind. The truly powerful ones are more like tears in the fabric of the world itself, holes in reality. That one was somewhere in between, middling in power. It and the ones like it are the most dangerous, in a way. They have a much stronger presence than the Imps or the Darklings, but they can move and have the intelligence of the greater ones."
"That thing, when it touched us, what did it do?" I asked, my paw over my gut. I had never felt anything like that before, and I've had ribs broken, muscles torn, I've even been stabbed once (which nearly killed me).
"It was examining you." Adam said, looking at Tamara again. "It is not good for us to be touched like that though, as I am sure you figured out. The influence wears off quickly, but it can drive you mad."
"If any of you start feeling strange," Nina broke in. "If you start seeing or hearing things, you start to feel like it's coming back, and _especially_if you start getting urges to start exploring the forest, tell one of us immediately. Do not try to be tough, the Taint is powerful and if you are not purged properly it will overwhelm you and you will end up wandering the forest half-mad until you either die or, worse, get caught by one of the Shades. There is no shame in admitting it, it is like getting a poisoned wound, dangerous but curable."
"I-I have been feeling strange." Said one of my guards, Julie, after a pause; she had been towards the front of the column, closer to the thing. "My eyes keep flickering with black specks and the shadows look...deeper."
"I do not feel right either." Came another voice, and soon enough there was a general clamoring. I sighed, I had been afraid of that; even if they were not affected they were afraid they were, which could be just as bad.
"We should purge everyone, just in case." Came Adam's voice. "It will be strenuous, but I believe everyone would be more comfortable that way, and with interdiction flames around the camp tonight we will not have to worry about a watch."
"Yes, I suppose we should." Nina said. Then she looked up at the horizon and thought for a second. "We are almost at the edge of the forest, close enough that we can reach the mountains well before noon tomorrow. We can make camp here and get everyone seen to."
"What? How?" I asked incredulously, truly paying attention to the trees around us for the first time since our encounter. Sure enough, the ground was more hilly, and the trees were growing sparse. Sure signs that we were in the foothills of the mountains, but that was impossible. "We cannot have gotten so far this fast, we were still near the thickest part of the forest."
"The Shades, especially the powerful ones, distort the world wherever they touch it." Nina said, her voice taking on the lecturing tone of an old veteran giving a well-used speech. "Time speeds or slows, living things change or mutate, and the earth itself can be stretched or compressed."
"That thing stayed in one spot for a fair amount of time, it had to have given how strong its presence still was after it left." Adam mused. "And we passed right through it. Likely the lingering residue left on us either sped up our time relative to the rest of the world or did something to the forest itself, if I were to guess I would hazard that our flow of time was somehow distorted. Now that I think back on it, I do not think I ever heard a bird call since that crow, and the rain did not seem to come down quite so hard for a while. If it was a physical effect the flora would have shown signs of mutation and anything viewed in the distance would have been noticeably distorted."
Now that I thought about it, he was right, normally I would have noticed something like the bird calls and the rain, but after what happened I was not focused on such things.
"So we can make camp here and reach the mountain pass tomorrow?"
"Yes."
"Good. Listen up everyone!" I shouted. "We are making camp here for tonight, and the Blackwoods are going to fix whatever that thing did to us!"
This proclamation greatly relieved my guards, and camp was made in record time. The Blackwood guides divided in half, six of them went around the perimeter of the camp and dug small fire pits, arranging what looked like rods of white rock in them and lighting them on fire. Whatever they were, they immediately blazed forth with an intense grey flame that seemed to sear my insides where the thing had probed me, but it was a good burn, like getting into a hot bath that was just too hot to be comfortable, and I found myself walking over to the nearest fire and basking in it, relishing the intensely... real, feel of the flames. If the thing from earlier was an embodiment of what was impossible, alien, and otherworldly, these flames were precisely the opposite, and they felt wonderful.
My enjoyment was interrupted by Nina, who put a paw on my shoulder and guided me over to a convenient log. I sat down and she drew out a thin wand made of pine, sheathed in iron, with a remarkably clear quartz crystal bound to the base with a small clamp. She touched the wand to my head, then my paws, the tip of my tail, and my belly. Then she began slowly drawing lines between the seven points, and result was immediate. All of the lingering aftereffects of the creature's touch started burning away, like the sensation I had felt from the fire only smoother and less harsh. Like the difference between a perfectly aged wine and the harsh, flavorless root liquor some of the northern clans made. I moaned despite myself, and she chuckled.
"No shame in it, I would do the same if I had that much Taint sucked out of me." She held up the wand and I saw that the crystal had turned nearly black. My eyes widened.
"Did that come out of me?" I asked, berating myself a moment later for the stupidity of the question.
"Yes. Do not worry though, it was not in you long enough to do any lasting damage. You will be fine."
"What about Tamara?" I asked, his brow furrowed and he glanced up, I followed his line of sight and saw my daughter being attended to by two of the guides, who were doing the same thing to her as they had done to me. Her expression was one of weary relief and profound gratitude.
"We got to you all quickly, so I highly doubt there will be any long-term effects. She will probably have some trouble sleeping for a few nights, and nightmares will probably be a problem for a week or so, but otherwise she should be fine."
"And Adam?" I asked, the final contact between him and the creature leaping vividly to mind.
"I will be fine." He said, I looked up to see him walking over. "May I sit?"
"Yes, just so long as you tell me what happened." I answered, waving at another log. He gratefully sat down and glanced at the armband he had put on earlier, the stone was completely black. He sighed and reached into the hard leather case he carried on his left hip and pulled out another, identical, one and snapped it into place before taking the other one off and tossing it casually into one of the fires. The gem immediately began to emit oily, black smoke.
"The Shades are mercurial things; they do not see the world as we do. They see and understand both more and less than us. Often times they attack any living thing they come across, other times they will ignore everything around them, including us. Other times, they take an...interest, in certain individuals. That, even more than their anger, is dangerous. They offer things, gifts of powerful magic. It is tremendously dangerous of course, I do not need to tell you that, and it is wise to decline, politely. This particular shade, we call it The Murk or the Starfog, took an interest in me from the first. This was not the last time it has approached me. I have not been able to enter the deeper regions of the forest for three years because it kept attempting to find me while I was there. Not that I mind not venturing into the Black."
He shivered as he spoke and I could not blame him. The Black is the local term for the deeper parts of Queensfall where the eldritch magic is thickest and the Shades a constant threat, called so because the treetops are so thick they blot out all light, making it black as night underneath them.
"It gave me...well, I suppose it is a fragment of itself. I think, and this is just my speculation mind you, that the Shades grow more powerful if they Touch one of us."
"What kind of fragment?" Tamara interrupted, sitting on a log beside him. Adam looked her over, assessing her health. She was weakened, and it showed in her movement and posture, but she showed no more aftereffects.
"It is complicated." He sighed. "I do not know if I can explain it."
"Try." Tamara said firmly, beating me to it.
"Very well...how much do you know about magic?"
"Each magical talent is different." Tamara said immediately, her voice taking on the tone of someone reading from a book, and given my daughter's memory she probably was reciting a passage from a book one of her tutors assigned to her. "Each magician has a set amount of mana that varies from person to person, this is used as fuel to perform magic. Each magician's talent manifests differently, and while every magician is capable of using all types of magic, each practitioner is innately skilled at one specific type of magic or spell, typically referred to as their Gift."
"Good, I do not have to explain that much at least." He responded, pausing to think. "What that thing did affected my mana, and to understand it, you have to understand mana itself. Mana is like and yet unlike the energy your body uses to perform physical labor. You can run twenty miles carrying a hundred pounds, end up at your destination sweating and barely able to stand, and still be full to bursting with mana. Conversely, you could conjure up a giant firestorm and turn a whole copse of trees to ash, and still be able to run and jump and climb. Mana does not affect your physical body nearly as much as people think. When the Starfog Touched me it accessed my mana pool directly and changed it."
"Changed it how?" Nina asked pointedly, interjecting for the first time.
"Imagine my mana supply as a storage room full of sacks of grain. Let us say, to make it easy on ourselves, that there were one hundred sacks when my talent manifested. When that thing touched me it changed my mana supply. It is as if, say, forty of the sacks were taken out and brewed and distilled into whisky and then put back. It took a part of my mana and changed it into something else." Adam clarified, taking no offense at Nina's interruption.
"So you have less power than before?" I asked, my brow furrowed. Magic had always confused me at the best of times, and this was not the best of times.
"Yes and no." He replied frustratingly. "I do not have as much mana as before, but the other...energy, is available to me, should I be desperate or foolish enough to choose to employ it. The storeroom is the same size, but there is more in it. The other energy is powerful, I could use it to make any spells I try to work much more powerful, but they would be tainted by it."
"Will you still be able to use your spells at all?" I asked.
"My reserves were never very large." He admitted, obviously frustrated by the fact. "And now, with nearly half of them gone, I will not be using much battle magic anymore, not that I could do much to begin with. Mundane things, lighting a cooking fire, small lights, lifting objects, those are still in my reach, but not much more than that unless I resort to Eldritch magic, which I would be...terminally foolish."
"So when everything is said and done there is a net gain." Tamara summarized. "But realistically you have a smaller pool of resources to use."
"Yes, that is as good an explanation as any." He sighed, his ears drooping, and a distant part of my mind noted that his speech did not seem quite as pedantic as he had been before the encounter with the shade, what little there had been of it anyway. "These armbands suck the taint out of my magic, and I have already filled two. Thankfully there does not seem to be much left, so I will not have to force the purge on one of the others and risk damaging it."
"Will you be okay?" Nina asked, intending to report back to Priscilla no doubt.
"Yes, once the taint is sucked out I will be no worse off than the rest of you. I will be sleeping either very heavily or not at all tonight. I am hoping for the former, but I am not that confident in my luck." He finished wryly. Well if no other good came of our encounter with that thing, at least it got him to open up and talk.
"I do not think I will be sleeping very well." Tamara added.
"I would not be surprised." Adam replied. "Still, it is best for you to at least try and sleep."
"It would be good for everyone." Said Nina before turning to me. "Matriarch, these fires will keep out any Shades that decide to visit us, we of Blackwood will take it in turn to keep watch, but your people are not as used to this as we are. The whole forest is Tainted to one degree or another, and we grew up with it. You all should rest as much as possible."
"Everyone, listen up!" I shouted, using the same phrase I always did. It was a constant in my guards' and soldiers' lives; like the foul-mouthed shouting of their captains or the universal complaining about the quality of the food in the barracks and lack of good sex. "The fires will keep everything out of the camp and the Blackwoods have volunteered to keep watch for the night, everyone is turning in early, no exceptions. Understood?"
There was a chorus of affirmative outbursts happily devoid of the grumbling I would normally expect to accompany such a proclamation, and my soldiers immediately began heading for their tents.
"I think I am going to go to bed now." Adam said, looking at his armband. "The Taint is almost totally gone and if I am going to have trouble sleeping I had best get an early start."
"I believe I will join you." Tamara said. "Crossing the mountain pass tomorrow will be quite a job, even if we are rested."
Adam said nothing as he stood up and walked over to the fire he had thrown the armband in, it had long since stopped smoking. Bending down, he reached a paw fearlessly into the flame and pulled it out again, much to my surprise.
"It is not hot." He said, noticing the looks on my (and Tamara's) faces. "It only looks like fire, in reality it is something quite different. The details are...complicated, so I will not bother you with them. Good night Matriarch."
"Good night." I replied. He bowed politely and, after a moment of hesitation, snapped the armband on, as well as another one he drew out of the case on his hip. Apparently he was not as confident as he sounded, not that I could blame him. I had only been probed by that thing and I felt like I had suddenly gotten every illness I have ever had over the course of my life come back to me all at once, if he had been changed like he had...ugh, it does not bear thinking about. He and Tamara quickly disappeared into their tent, much like the rest of my guards were doing. I would stay up a little bit longer to oversee my troops bunking down, and hopefully by the time I did turn in I would actually be tired enough to sleep.
***
I closed the tent flap behind me when I entered, trailing Adam, who immediately set about preparing his bedroll. I did the same, right next to his, just like last night, but this was different. He did not say anything as he worked, but the way his tail and ears were drooping told me it was exhaustion, not rudeness behind his silence. The left arm of his shirt had been left where it fell in the forest, and no one was about to go back there to get it. The end was ragged and frayed, like the arm of the shirt had suddenly aged years and become worn out and threadbare. I did not want to think what would happen if we had been attacked by a...being, I suppose, that could do that kind of damage when it was not trying to destroy something.
His arm bore no visible marks of what had happened, but I did not believe for a minute he was unscathed, I know I was not. The all-encompassing, soul-devouring terror that thing had instilled in me, as (thankfully) temporary as it had been, would leave its mark. Just afterward I had been reeling from the experience, and it had been his presence that had brought me back.
"Adam?" I asked as we both finished and laid down. He was on his back, his head resting on the folded blanket he used in lieu of a pillow, I had a small trail pillow, but in all honesty his blanket was probably more comfortable.
"Yes?"
"Thank you. For earlier."
"What do you mean?" He asked, his voice weary and his Blackwood accent growing much more pronounced, sharpening the hard consonants and softening the vowels. Apparently he had been consciously suppressing it, or maybe it just got stronger when he was tired.
"When I was...when you kept talking to me when we rode together, it helped. A lot." I said awkwardly, finding myself unable to find the right words to express myself, and when I did find ones that seemed serviceable they were embarrassing to say. "I was...very frightened, and you made me feel better. Thank you."
"You are welcome." He replied awkwardly, fidgeting slightly as he drew his blanket over himself and folded his paws on his chest underneath. There was a very long pause before I worked up the nerve to ask what I wanted to ask.
"Is there...anything I can do for you? To help you feel better?" It came out before I had a chance to think it over, and I had to fight back a wince at the way it sounded.
"I will be fine, I am just tired." He said tersely, but he amended himself quickly afterward. "But thank you, I appreciate that."
"Do you think you will be fully recovered by tomorrow?" I blurted, changing the subject, much to our mutual relief.
"I hope so." He said dubiously.
"Traversing the mountain pass is difficult at the best of times." I said matter-of-factly. "Especially for those unaccustomed to the heights. If you are still feeling weak tomorrow you must tell mother or me."
"How far up into the mountains do we have to go?" He asked, worry in his voice despite the fact that he was trying to hide it.
"We will spend about half the day climbing up." The path we would take was a winding, serpentine affair that had been carved out of the mountain face in ages past, and maintained vigilantly since, as it is the only pass in this region. "If things go well we will descend into the valley on the other side tomorrow afternoon and be at Lakedweller Mansion by nightfall or a little earlier."
"Ah." He said, obviously not anticipating the trek.
"It is not as bad as it sounds." I said quickly. "The path is very safe, and gentle. It winds back and forth a lot, but that means that it is not very steep most of the time."
"Will we be reaching the snowcap?" He asked. I almost laughed, but restrained myself at the last second.
"Not even close. Once we reach the mountain's shoulders we will enter a passage carved through the rock, a series of conjoined caves really. Why? Are you bothered by heights?"
"I have never been up in the mountains." He admitted grudgingly. I smiled at him reassuringly (I hope).
"Do not worry, the path is wide and stable, and we will enter the caves before midday, so you will not be on the side of the mountain for long. Besides, once we are through we will be almost on the level of the valley, just a short hike down and we will be a hop and a skip from the Mansion."
"I will take your word for it." He replied, obviously not comforted. I sighed.
"Try not to worry." I advised. "That will only make it worse. Besides, someone will always be between you and the drop, that is standard protocol when there is someone new to the mountains in a traveling group." I would have gone on, but I was surprised by a powerful yawn which I was unable to suppress. My jaw actually popped halfway through.
"If you are tired you should try to sleep." He said, turning the tables on me. "You will need it after today."
"We both will." I replied, getting as comfortable as I could in my bedroll, which was not very, and moving my arm temporarily so he could rearrange his blanket. "Good night."
"Good night."
***
Today is the day. Today I leave Queensfall forest for the first time in my life, I have ventured to the edge of the forest before of course, but I have never truly left. The thinning of the trees beside the campsite made me nervous, I did not like the open country. I like having the trees around, I like the cover and concealment they offer. The Lakedweller party was universally glad to leave the forest, and I suppose I cannot blame them after the events of yesterday, but I was still uneasy.
The mountains loomed to the south, and knowing that I will be up one of them, out in the open for all to see, filled me with dread. I could not see the path Tamara mentioned, but I could see that there were no trees on the sides of the giant wall of rock that monopolized the southern horizon. The mountains had for all my life been a faraway thing, something I had barely ever seen through the dense trees of Queensfall, now I was going to be crossing through them and living on the other side. I hoped there were trees around Lakedweller's Mansion, if it was surrounded by nothing but bare rock and water I am sure I will wither and die.
I had not been able to sleep, as I had feared. I had only managed to doze fitfully, kept from full sleep by the nightmares that lurked on the edge of my consciousness, daring me to fall into pits of blackness or drift for eternity, alone and forsaken, among alien stars. My encounter with the Shade no doubt infesting my mind somehow. The cleansing armbands had sucked the Taint out of my arm, which left me feeling marginally better, but that did not mean I was well rested.
I spent most of the night resenting the Shade and Tamara in equal measures, one for violating my person through unwanted and invasive physical contact and the other because it Tainted me and nearly killed my travelling party. I gave up on even the pretense of sleep sometime past midnight and about an hour or two before dawn I carefully slipped out of my tent and came out to bask in the Interdiction fires, their aura giving me some mild comfort.
The Guides mother had sent to accompany us, all of them veteran soldiers skilled in stealth and covert actions, studiously paid me no mind. I tried to organize my thoughts and prepare myself for the tasks I would be taking over once I got to Lakedweller, but it was futile. My thoughts quickly spiraled downward and I was soon mired in memories of home, talking with Nell and Mother, walking through the forest near the mansion, quiet evenings by the fire after my work was done, enjoying a cup of spiced tea before bed. I would miss all of it dearly, I already missed all of it dearly.
Not for the last time I resented the unlucky fate that made me a male, if I had been born female I would still be home, working as my elder sister's adjunct. Instead I find myself uprooted from home and bought like a prize bull, if prize bulls were expected to handle the care and feeding of the cows they bred with. I have often heard females fantasizing about being male, saying how we have it easy. Depending on my mood it either makes me to laugh or want to strangle whoever says it.
Yes, of course we have it easy; lowborn males almost universally find themselves in the brothels that females without the wealth or privilege to buy a highborn Tod go to be serviced. Some of the establishments give their males good food and housing, but many do not, and once virility has passed into old age, there is not much use for them.
Males such as myself, fortunate enough to be born to a Matriarch or another member of the nobility, are bought and sold like kine. We may not be expected to serve terms in the royal army like the vixens of the realm, but if we are given 'easy' lives (and we are not) it comes at the price of our freedom. We are bound by chains, just as surely as any slave, they may be golden chains, but chains nonetheless.
"Unable to sleep?" Came Colette's voice behind me. I did not start, but it was not because I knew she was coming, I was simply too tired.
"No." I replied, and would have elaborated but I yawned with rather fortuitous timing.
"Mmph. Crossing the path is going to be hard then." Colette grunted, and I had to stop myself from growling at her.
"The Shade's touch disturbed my mana severely, the choice was out of my paws."
"Will you be able to ride?" She asked.
"Yes, Matriarch." I felt myself donning my Blackwood stoicism like a cloak. It helped me distance myself from the heartache as well as from Colette's less-than-tactful tone.
"Good. We will be moving out soon, best pack your gear." And with that she was off, rousing the camp. I got up, stretching my arms over my head and hearing my back pop. The clothes I had packed were all stored away rather inconveniently and would hardly be fit for travel anyway, and my only other traveling shirt had no sleeves at all, so I still wore my shirt from yesterday. Thankfully my traveling over robe was thick, but the rain over the past few days has made everything damp, so no matter how thick it was I would still be cold and clammy.
Colette's wakeup call was just as loud and unpleasant as you would expect from an ex-soldier who is still very much in the military mindset, and soon bleary-eyed Lakedweller guards were crawling miserably out of tents and blearily packing belongings. I scanned them, as the rest of the Blackwoods were, looking for any signs of Taint Sickness. They had been purged fairly soon after the encounter, but they had never been exposed to the Taint before they came to Queensfall, and some fall prey to its influence more quickly than others.
I did not see any of the signs of Taint Sickness setting in, but the irritability and anxiety may have been disguised by the universally foul mood everyone was in. I resolved to keep my eye on them as much as was practical during the rest of the trip and have a word with Colette about having them monitored discreetly for a few days, and if at all possible keeping them from ever coming back to the forest. No offense meant to them, but Taint is a cumulative poison, and it can take a long time to fully dissipate. Even after the purging there can still be traces that linger, and those traces, if exposed to more Taint, can grow and spread quickly.
The Blackwood Clan has built up its resistance to the Taint over generations beyond count, but the Taint does not extend to the neighboring regions, so we are the only ones who have any real experience with it. To say nothing of what Colette would say if some of her soldiers went mad from Taint Sickness, word would spread and blame would inevitably fall on Blackwood, as it always did. Our...of my former clan's, neighbors grumbled and complained about the vast amount of land we 'owned' (as if anyone could own Queensfall) and sent in their poachers and distillers to hide from the crown under the eaves of the dark forest. Then, when they inevitably lost the unfortunate souls to the Shades or the Taint they blamed Blackwood. They had never understood that the Scouts that defended the forest with hidden blades and silent arrows were not there to defend Blackwood from outsiders. They were there to defend outsiders from Queensfall.
With that melodramatic thought I shook my head and focused on my own share of the packing. Thus, when the call to mount up came I was long since packed and ready. Tamara, who had been lucky enough to be cast into a deep sleep by her experience, was still practically stumbling with weariness as she yawned her way into the saddle. Colette looked at Nina meaningfully and a quiet conversation ensued. I mounted my own horse, Twilight, so named for the time of her entry into the world and a singular lack of creativity on my part, and took my place in the train behind Tamara and in front of Colette.
We did not push the horses hard, saving energy for the climb ahead, but even so the trees were rapidly thinning and we had already climbed much higher than I thought we had. After just over an hour the cairns that marked the end of Blackwood territory loomed on either side of the path and the guides stopped.
"This is as far as we go." Nina said when we were a stone's throw away from the markings. "Farewell and good luck in the mountains."
"Farewell." I replied quietly, drowned out by the gruff replies from the Lakedweller contingent. Nina nodded to me one last time, which I returned, and then they turned back and set off for the forest. I was along among the Lakedwellers now, a thought that stung me much more than I thought it would.
"Well, come on." Colette called out, not specifically meaning me, but angering me nonetheless. "Unless you want to camp overnight on the cliff we need to get moving."
And move we did, up and up and up and up and up. The sparse grass quickly gave way to rock and even if we had wanted to take a route besides the mountain path it would have quickly become impossible. Sheer cliff face on one side and a dizzying drop on the other. The path wound back and forth much as Tamara said it would, quickly becoming monotonous and dreary. At least in Queensfall there had been trees and other plants to give some life to the landscape, up here it was just bare rock and wind.
Speaking of the forest, I could see the whole vast expanse of it, fairly light and normal looking at the outer edges, but fading do deep black in the distance, until it butted up against a jutting arm of the mountains off to the north east, that is a part of the forest even the Blackwoods do not enter, that is the place the Shades come from, if our stories are true, and the place where their influence is the strongest, where no Interdiction fire or World Stone can stave off their influence.
Some of the Clan believe that it will be safe to traverse one day, surely the power of the Shades has diminished over the centuries, but if it is more potent than the bad parts of the Black, then I seriously doubt it will be explored even in my great-great-great-grandkit's time.
For a while the sight of the forest comforted me somewhat, but soon the height became too much and I was forced to keep my eyes on the trail ahead lest my head would begin to swim and my stomach roil. Then the air began to get thin, and it became hard to catch my breath. It seemed like I had to take two breaths just to get a lungful of air, and it was rapidly took its toll on me. Twilight was not much better, and after a while I was afraid either one or both of us would pass out and wind up tumbling to our deaths on the mountainside.
It was about the point that I was debating whether it would be safer to walk the horse instead of ride when Colette came up beside me, staying between me and the sheer drop, which I thought her mad for, but appreciated regardless.
"We are almost to the tunnel." She said, her voice sounded strange up here, the air was so thin it did not carry quite the way it should have. "Just a few more turns and we will be to the caves, and after that we will be going down."
"Good." I panted. "Thank you." I wanted to be more polite, but being unable to breathe properly had shifted my priorities a bit.
"You are doing well." She said as we rounded another turn in the path. "Especially for someone who has never been up here before. Are the heights making you dizzy?"
"Only if I look down Matriarch." I managed to add her title that time.
"Hmm, that is unfortunate, but do not worry about it. The mansion is located on the floor of the valley, so you will not have to worry about any cliffs nearby."
"I am sorry." I said not knowing anything to say and thus defaulting to an apology.
"Do not be, some people can handle the heights, some cannot, it is something you are born with. Fear of heights can be conquered, but vertigo cannot." She said calmly, seemingly unaffected by the lack of air up here. She did not talk after that, sparing me the increasing effort of replying.
As I looked at the rest of the party I noticed that they were not as affected as I was by the height, apparently their stay in Blackwood had not robbed them of whatever fortitude it was that kept them adjusted to these heights. Tamara was doing better than some, but worse than others.
Just when I thought the path would go on for eternity we took one last turn and were face to face with a gaping hole in the mountainside. Colette smiled beside me and fearlessly kicked her horse into a faster walk, entering the passageway. I followed a little more reluctantly, I was at home in the dark, you cannot live in Queensfall without being accustomed to working in near pitch blackness, but there was something about entering a cave that was unnerving in a way the dark forest was not, perhaps it was the enclosed, tomb like nature of it. My eyes adjusted fairly quickly, and to my surprise I found that the walls of the passage were carved smooth, Tamara had mentioned the path being looked after, but the level of craftsmanship impressed me.
After about a minute of travel we passed into a larger, obviously natural cave. Now the path was clearly marked with carved stones, and up ahead I could see lights. It was an outpost, a small guardhouse had been erected in the cave and there was a fire burning outside it. The guards inside had, of course, been alerted by the sound of our horses' hooves clopping loudly on the stone and were standing outside, waiting for us. There was a brief exchange with Colette and some torches were handed over.
I schooled my face into impassivity as I rode by, ignoring the way they stared. I was not offered a torch.
The trek through the mountain took a large chunk of the day, the range of mountains that separate the far northern part of the realm from the rest of it was large and expansive, a tortured upheaval of the earth that when viewed on a map resembles nothing so much as a deformed spider, a central body with numerous protruding arms. We were travelling into the heart of the formation. The path we took wound a bit, but not nearly so much as the path leading up the mountainside.
In here we may have climbed up, dropped down a few feet or wound from side to side somewhat, but we were definitely headed directly south. We ate in the saddle, though I had no appetite. My stomach had not forgotten how blasted high we were, and though I do not have to avoid looking at fully half the world in here, I was far from comfortable.
We encountered several guard posts and checkpoints, some more heavily defended than others, and at each of them I was the object of considerable interest. I let no reaction show through on my face and ignored the muttering, which Colette (and Tamara I was amused, if discomfited, to notice) glared into silence.
In the end, the trip through the mountain lasted just long enough for me to nearly work up the nerve to ask Colette how much further it was. I was answered by a painful burst of sunlight when we entered one last cave chamber. I had to shield my eyes against it, as did everyone else. There was one last guard post to get through, though I paid no attention to its occupants, I only wanted to get out of this damnable mountain. When I did get out into open air I found myself staring down into Lakedweller's valley, which (to my immense relief) was thickly forested. The trees were not the black pine I was so familiar with, though I could see a few isolated copses of them here and there, perhaps offshoots or the ancestors of the trees of my home.
The rest of the basin was occupied by a mix of primarily birch and oak trees, along with a few others I was not familiar with. The lake from which Clan Lakedweller derives its name also featured prominently in the landscape, filling perhaps half of the valley, the sunlight reflecting off it stabbing my eyes painfully.
"It is quite a sight is it not?" Tamara said fondly, speaking to me for the first time today, not counting pleasantries exchanged in camp.
"Yes, it is." I replied politely.
"Perhaps we could walk through the forest together sometime, I could show you around the valley." She said. Thankfully Colette spoke, so I did not have to.
"Later maybe, now we need to get a move on, it took us longer than it should have to traverse the mountain, it will be dark soon." She was right, the mountains rose high all around the valley, and they would cause nightfall to be sudden and complete.
"Yes mother." Tamara replied dutifully, nudging her horse into a walk. I followed, having to take great care as the path was much steeper on this side of the mountain. As I carefully guided Twilight down the path the guards had started cheerfully talking about the comforts that awaited them at the mansion. Hot food, soft beds, and pleasant company featured prominently in their discussion and when the path permitted it I amused myself by listening to their talk.
The general consensus was that the vixen in charge of the barracks, a prudishly strict and shockingly cruel ex-soldier named Serena (who, if general gossip was to be believed, desperately needed to remove the spear that had somehow been inserted into her tailhole or get something else inserted into another hole entirely, possibly another female's tongue) was liable to hold them all accountable for every ding and scratch their armor had accrued during their stay in Queensfall and punish them unfairly for it, likely by denying them the food and ale that they so richly deserved.
I found myself grinning slightly as the path evened out onto the floor of the valley and their talk turned to their plans for coaxing some of their cohorts into their bunks at night for some, ah, mutual relief. It was rather educational really, I knew enough about mating to know that almost all of the boasts of individual prowess they made were outright lies, but I learned a number of new terms for acts I was already familiar with, and heard passing mention of a few I was not.
Colette did nothing to curtail the chatter, knowing as much as I did that to do so would be pointless. Tamara was almost offended though, on my behalf anyway, and seemed mortified that I had to be subjected to it. I was careful not to seem upset by it in any way, which was easy, since I was not. I have run with plenty of patrols in Queensfall, and such talk is inevitable.
Honestly, it was comforting more than anything else. Soldiers are soldiers no matter what Clan they hail from, and their concerns are the same: Is my commander competent? Are my orders likely to get me killed? Will I be getting good food back at base? Will there be alcohol available with the food? And last but certainly not least: Will I be able to have sex in the near future? I could have been returning to Blackwood Mansion if I closed my eyes and imagined the smell of black pine.
"Finally, home." I heard Tamara mutter off to my left. I looked up and sure enough, in the rapidly fading light, I saw the great manor house of Clan Lakedweller. It was a strange looking thing, having originally built as a summer home for royalty and expanded numerous times after it changed paws.
The original construction and the new additions were easily told apart by the amount of decorative embellishments and the quality of the stonework. The original building was made of many different colors and shades of marble, though beams of rare and expensive hardwood featured prominently as well. Large windows, some of them stained, ensured proper lighting and would have been the most striking feature if it were not for the later additions. The newer parts of the house were built out of the much cheaper (and likely sturdier) stone from the surrounding mountains and was in general much less decorative in design and laid out in a much more logical and efficient manner. The two diametrically opposed styles of architecture gave the Mansion an almost ramshackle air that made me think wistfully of the ordered efficiency of my own home.
The barracks building that housed Lakedweller's infamous soldiers sat some distance apart from the Mansion itself and was easily identifiable by the training ground outside it, which was currently empty, and the blacksmith workshops that were audibly producing or repairing arms and armor. The windows of the main house were lit up from the inside and the glow would have given me comfort, if I was returning home. Though I supposed I had better start thinking of this as my home, and I honestly tried, but the thought was too alien to me.
By wordless agreement the guards turned for the barracks, except the few that were leading the pack horses. Apparently word had preceded us as there were grooms ready to take our mounts when we got to the main doors. I dismounted wearily and passed the reigns to the waiting servant, pausing only to grab the small pack of items I had kept with me in the saddle. Tamara and Colette handed off their horses after grabbing their own packs and I followed them up to the house and through a pair of massive doors, into the house I would be spending the rest of my life.
The grand oak double doors led into an entrance room that was obviously part of the original construction, the white marble floor told me that, though the decidedly utilitarian red rugs were probably not, I suspected. The high ceiling of the room was vaulted and impressive, or would have been if I was not so tired. Similarly, the large paintings on the wall and the ludicrously huge fireplace failed to impress.
There were two stairways opposite the door, each leading up to a balcony that wrapped around the upper level, making them rather redundant, but such is the case when royalty is involved in the construction I suppose. There was also a large and very ornate door between the two staircases, which opened to reveal two vixens that, judging by their resemblance to Colette and Tamara, had to be the other sisters I would be responsible for. They were both wearing pants and long sleeved shirts that were meant as sleep clothes, but that was all I could see of them as they were currently barreling towards Collette, who laughed and dropped her pack, taking her daughters into a rough, but loving, embrace.
"Mother, you are home! We missed you!" Said the smaller of the two, Sarah, if I remembered correctly. Her tail was wagging furiously. If I had to guess her age I would suspect no older than fifteen. She truly was a mirror image of her mother, down to the same blue-green eyes and light scarlet fur.
"How was your trip?" Came the slightly more subdued response of the other one, Alicia. She must take after her father a little more, her fur has more brown in it than either of her sisters and the socks on her extremities, visible due to her lack of footwear, were quite small.
"I missed you too sweetheart. And the trip went well." Colette replied, answering her daughters in order and giving them each a kiss on the forehead. Tamara stepped forward at this point and got hugs of her own. I was content to watch this from a distance, but (predictably) I was noticed.
"Oh, you must be Adam." Sarah said, eyeing me with interest, but showing no signs of attempting to tackle me like she had her mother. Alicia turned to face me as well and looked me over excitedly. I cringed inside but stayed collected externally, bowing slightly to both of them.
"I am pleased to meet you both." I replied formally. The effect probably would have been more striking if I was not filthy and wearing traveling clothes, with one sleeve missing no less. Something I was painfully aware of.
"Oh come now, that is hardly a proper greeting!" Alicia said, smiling widely and taking a step towards me with open arms only to be stopped by Colette's paw on her shoulder.
"No, Alicia. Leave him be."
"But mother," She protested. "How are we to-"
"She said no Alicia." Came another voice from the hallway through which the girls had entered. My ears perked up, it was a male voice. I did not remember my father, and the only other time I have seen a male is when another Matriarch stayed at Blackwood to negotiate some political deal with mother, and he had not been interested in me. A second later another form came through the door Sarah and Alicia had come through and I immediately confirmed my assessment of Alicia's taking after her father.
His fur was as much brown as red, and his 'socks' were so small they barely even deserved the title, just covering his paws and nothing more, and his eyes were a greenish blue that you normally did not see. He was wearing a blue robe that could have been evening wear or work garb. He was also smiling warmly as he came in and (after a warning look at a slightly pouty Alicia) hugged Tamara and Colette, kissing Tamara on the forehead much as Colette had done Alicia and Sarah, and kissing Colette on the lips. "It is good to see you both back safe and sound."
"It is good to be back Richard." Colette said, kissing him again. "We had quite an adventure on the way back."
"That is putting it lightly." Tamara said, shuddering. A sentiment I found myself agreeing with heartily. Nearly getting destroyed by a Shade could hardly be described as an adventure. Disaster is a much more appropriate appellation.
"Will you tell us about it?" Alicia asked, her eyes still on me.
"Tomorrow." Tamara said. "I am exhausted, I am going to get ready for dinner."
"Not before you take a bath." Richard ordered.
"But-"
"Tamara, you have been on the road for three days wearing the same clothes, I love you sweetling, but you smell. Go take a bath." He said, his tone leaving no room for argument.
"Yes papa." She sighed.
"I am going to bathe as well." Colette announced. "And after that, we are all going to have a talk." She eyed her daughters meaningfully, which made them all stiffen nervously. I was too busy silencing a chuckle at the looks on their muzzles to notice Richard approaching me, so when I did notice how close he was I almost jumped.
"I see the road has not treated you kindly either I see." He said, there was no malice in his voice, just observation, and his eyes lingered on the torn sleeve of my robe. "Come on, you need a bath as well. Follow me."
"Yes, sir." I replied politely, grabbing my small pack and allowing him to lead me through a side door I had not noticed earlier. Alicia and Sarah's eyes tracked me until I was through the doorway and into the hallway beyond. It was lit by a few torches in some sconces on the walls and by what miniscule moonlight was coming in through the windows. It was too dim for me to get a good idea of the décor.
"First things first Adam." He started as we walked down the hall at a sedate pace. "Do not call me sir, I am not your captain. Please use my name."
"Yes s-...Richard." I have had proper etiquette drilled into me for years, both as a part of my martial training and as my traditional education and I found it a difficult habit to break. I had slipped somewhat after the encounter with the Shade, but I would have to be more careful here.
A few twists and turns later Richard opened a door into what had to be the most opulent bathing room I had ever seen. The whole room was constructed of stone, what kind I could not tell in the dim light. There were a number of candles lit around a bathtub that was recessed into the floor itself and fed via a carved channel through which a steady stream of hot water flowed. On the opposite side of the pool of the inlet channel was a drain channel that allowed water to constantly circulate through the tub. There was also another channel, a larger more robust one, a bit further into the room with a few benches nearby and some sponges and bars of soap arranged neatly by them. To top it all off, the whole west wall of the room was one large window looking out over the lake. The kind of engineering required to so harness what had to be a natural hotspring was breathtaking. Richard must have seen the amazed look on my face as I took this all in because he chuckled.
"I had the same reaction the first time I saw it. Wait until you see it in the daytime, right now you cannot see all the ridiculous carvings on the walls." He stepped into the room and closed the door behind us, gesturing for me to set my pack down, which I did. Then he turned to me and walked closer. "You can leave the clothes by the door, I had a robe sent in for you earlier."
"Do you mean to stay in here sir?" I asked when he showed no signs of leaving.
"Yes, now do not give me that look, we need to talk. I am not going to do anything funny to you." He assured me. "Now come on, you really do need a bath, no offense."
"Yes sir." I agreed reluctantly, wincing at my mistake as I shed my robe and crouched down to undo my pawcovers.
"What happened to your shirt?" Richard ignored my use of the word sir and asked what he had probably wanted to ask since he saw me
"We encountered a Shade." I replied, struggling with the wet leather cords that held the protective garments on my feet.
"Were you hurt?" He asked, concern in his voice.
"No, not directly. It is...complicated." I replied.
"What happened exactly?" The answer he wanted would have lasted until roughly tomorrow evening, but since I did not have nearly the energy or patience for that I gave him the short version.
"We were surprised by a fairly powerful Shade that had left the Black and made its way to the trail somehow. I convinced it not to...take, any of our party." I shuddered slightly at the thought of what would happen to anyone taken by a Shade of that power. "In return for leaving us alone it branded me, it took roughly four tenths of my mana capacity and changed into Eldritch energy."
"Have you been purged?" On one paw, I was insulted that he asked, but on the other paw I was pleasantly surprised that he knew of the purging ritual.
"Yes, the whole party was." He nodded.
"Good, I will get the details from Colette, she will want to tell me the story anyway."
I was rapidly becoming frustrated with the pawcover. He crouched down and reached out to help, I froze, startled. He started working the cords, prying at the swollen leather with paws that were not numbed and clumsy from cold and lack of sleep.
"You do not need to-"
"Relax." He said kindly, grunting as he finally got the knot undone. With both of us working on the other pawcover, it was off quickly. Then I removed my damaged shirt and paused, not really wanting to continue. "Do not be shy, you do not have anything between your legs I have not seen before." He said, slightly amused. I did as he instructed, untying the simple belt that held my pants on and letting them fall. "Okay, good. Now go ahead and wash on the bench over there. I will join you in a moment."
My muzzle was warm as I walked over to the benches, and not just from the steam in the room. I heard cloth rustle behind me and sure enough, Richard sat down on the bench not long after I did, starting to wash himself quickly. Ignoring him for the moment I grabbed soap and a sponge and made use of the conveniently close water channel to cleanse myself. The warm water felt very good running through my fur, and the sensation of the sweat and trail dust sluicing off me was nearly enough to make me moan in relief. I had a lot of filth to scrub off, so I was still going when Richard was finished. After he was done he stood up and I was surprised to feel his paw on my shoulder a moment later. I jumped at the contact.
"Easy, I told you, I am not going to do anything funny, I have to check your health, it is my responsibility." He was right of course, the Clan who bought me would want to be sure I was a healthy male, and thus able to sire good cubs. It fell to the current male to perform that duty. "Relax, it will be painless, I promise."
After that he started inspecting me like he was a healer looking after a patient, which made it much easier for me. He asked me if I hurt anywhere, I told him no. He looked at my back and shoulders, then my arms and my tail (which he was exceedingly gentle with, for which I was very thankful). Then he inspected my arms, head, mouth, eyes, and ears, everything was fine. Then he moved to my legs and hindpaws, which he manipulated carefully, frowning a bit.
"Is something wrong?" I asked. They did not hurt, but I had not exactly been checking them frequently on the road.
"You have the beginnings of a rash between your pawpads, was it wet during your trip here?"
"Constantly."
"I see. Well, it is not too bad. Do not wear any paw covers for the next few days and dry your hindpaws thoroughly after we are done here. I do not think anything will come of it, but better safe than sorry."
Given the choice I do not wear pawcovers in the house anyway, generally only doing so when it is particularly cold or when I am going to be doing a lot of work in the kitchen on a given day. I've seen what happens when infections of the hindpaws grow out of control, it was not pretty. Then he looked up at me and spoke plainly. "I am sorry, but I have to inspect your penis now. I will be careful about it, but I have to pull back the sheath, so do not be alarmed." I just nodded. He was very gentle, and mercifully quick. He carefully grasped my limp member and retracted the sheath, getting a look at the flesh inside, inspecting it thoroughly but quickly. Then he let go and washed his paw off before standing up.
"What now?" I asked, the heat in the room was making me drowsy and my lack of sleep was catching up to me.
"We are going to make dinner, but we need to have a talk first." He said, motioning me over to the tub I had seen earlier. It was more than big enough for two and he carefully climbed in, hissing when his genitals touched the water. I followed, wincing as well when my loins were immersed in the hot water. After a brief moment of discomfort the heat was blissful, and I leaned back against the wall of the tub, sitting on a convenient bench.
"What is it you wanted to talk about?" I asked, the heat and exhaustion teaming up to nearly put me to sleep on the spot.
"About your role here." He said, leaning forward. "I know how you were trained, I was trained the same way. We all are. 'Always respect your senior, do as they say without question, keeping your mates fed and their household clean and orderly is your life.'"
"Yes." I said uncertainly, not knowing where he was going. I had been told those exact things, word for word, almost every day of my life since I was old enough to understand.
"The etiquette teachers would have you believe that this is sort of like a military operation. You cook, you clean, and when the time comes you sire kits." He ticked points off on his paw, but then his voice softened. "The teachers are wrong. Clans can be run that way, but when the Tod and his mates simply tolerate each other, it makes for a miserable household."
"What are you saying sir?" I asked, wincing when I added the sir despite his past instructions.
"I am saying." He said, reaching out and putting a paw on my shoulder. Normally the contact would have made me uncomfortable, but this time it did not. Maybe because I was so tired, maybe because I had always wanted to know my father and Richard acted eerily similar to how I had always imagined a father acting, maybe it was both. "That you are not a servant, you are family."
"I...do not know what to say." I replied honestly.
"I do not want you to think of this merely as a duty." He replied, catching my gaze and holding it. "You are a part of our family now. I know you are still adjusting to the change, and will be for a while. Heavens know I needed plenty of time, but I want you to feel like you belong here, and in time I hope you truly come to love your mates."
Normally I would have inwardly scoffed at a speech like that, but the sincerity in his voice stopped me. I was a fairly good judge of intent, and I could not sense any guile from him. It may be the lack of sleep and homesickness talking, but I really did want to trust him, and I felt myself relaxing despite myself.
"Thank you." I replied uncertainly, he smiled warmly at me and leaned back against the wall of the tub.
"Alright, we have to make dinner soon, but I wanted to say that first. The reason being that the home I grew up in was...like those stories the etiquette teachers tell young Tods to scare them. I have the scars to prove it, and I swore that the home I made for myself, my mate, and my daughters would not be like that." He said quietly, but earnestly. "You are safe here Adam, I promise you. You have nothing to fear from Colette or myself."
I could not help but doubt what he said about Colette, but otherwise he seemed honest and I could not help but relaxing ever so slightly.
"Thank you." I murmured back, unable to look him in the eye. "I...thank you."
"Do not worry." He replied, smiling. "Now, we have a few minutes until we absolutely must get started on dinner. So, I want to take that time to answer any questions you may have. You may ask me anything."
"Anything?" I asked, feeling stupid the instant it left my mouth.
"Yes, anything. I have many decades of experience at this, and I will tell you anything you want to know."
"Ah...I would like to know a little about your daughters." I said, trying not to be too forward. Written descriptions are nice, but it was best to get things from the source.
"That is a small question with a big answer." He chuckled. "I love them all, but they are quite...vibrant."
"Tamara seems quite contained." I said, stretching the truth a little. Despite her rather worrying ideas about kissing and physical affection, she could be almost as stoic as a member of Clan Blackwood.
"Ah, you have not seen her lose her temper." Richard said. "Her mother and sisters will not hesitate to growl and snarl at you if they are crossed, but my eldest bottles things up until some unfortunate soul pushes her a little too far, and then the results are memorable, to say the least."
"Does she become physical when she gets angry?" It was known to happen. Matriarchs (even Matriarchs-in-training) were under a great deal of stress, and their mates are a convenient target. It is not something frequently spoken of in polite company, but many Tods bore scars that came from their mates. There were no laws against it after all. If such laws were passed, it was argued, it would be impossible to 'discipline' Tods and keep us in line.
"When my daughters came of age Colette and I sat them down and had a very stern talk. If any of them ever strike you in anger they will be removed from the line of succession and be sent on an indefinite tour in the royal military." He said, his voice stern. "You do not have to worry about that, but just know that if you raise a paw against my daughters you will be sent back to Blackwood in an instant. Violence will not be tolerated from any of you, understand?"
"Yes sir." I replied meekly. I had no intention of attacking my mates, regardless of their behavior I have always been a great believer in enlightened self-interest and anything that jeapordized my position here drastically lowered my odds of a long and happy life. Still, if I was attacked I did not know if I would be able to quell the reflex to strike back. Fortunately, Richard interrupted that line of thought by reaching out and putting a paw on my shoulder again.
"I love my daughters Adam, but like I said, you are family too. I will not tolerate it. When I grew up my siblings and I were constantly afraid of angering our parents for that very reason. I will not allow my family to become like that, not now, not ever." He patted my shoulder gently, his voice softer. "It is not something you have to worry about, and I do not mean to scare you, just tell you the truth. Do you want to know anything else?"
"Well...could you keep telling me about your daughters? The only information I have is what I was given in the reports that were given to me as a part of the negotiations." He had not exactly told me much either.
"That is a difficult question to answer, there is simply too much to tell in a short time, but I will try. Tamara you have met, and so you have some idea of what she is like. She takes everything seriously, nothing more so than the lessons Colette gives her. She follows rules religiously and is very literal. Alicia is much more sociable, she will probably be the one you see the most often, at least at first, because she will want to get to know you as soon as possible; she has a lot of friends outside the Clan and she will most likely be our ambassador of sorts. Sarah can be a little shy at first, but she is very vivacious once she opens up, and has more energy than her sisters put together. A word of warning though, my girls will walk all over you if you let them." He advised ruefully. "Believe me; I have plenty of experience with it. You will need to stick up for yourself and hold your ground, especially with Tamara. Sarah will back off if you ask and Alicia knows not to push, but Tamara can be a bit stubborn."
"She was a little...forward, on the way here." I said, remembering her oral assault and suppressing a cringe.
"Forward how?" He asked intently.
"The first night she...well, we, kissed." Well, for a given definition of 'kissed'.
"And you did not want to." It was a statement, not a question.
"I just met her." I defended, hoping he would not be unreasonable about it.
"I understand, I will talk to her if Colette does not. You will not have to worry about that, but that does remind me, we need to talk about sex." He said bluntly, I looked away and I felt my muzzle heat even further, impressive given how warm I already was. "Do not let any of them use duty as an excuse to force you to do anything you are uncomfortable with. Colette will be telling them that later tonight, but you need to hear it too. They cannot make that kind of demand from you."
"But the contract-" I started to counter, but he held up a paw to silence me.
"If you are not comfortable with it they cannot force you." He said firmly. "No matter what."
"I have to sire kits though."
"There is no time constraint on that," He pointed out. "And honestly it is better if you wait a few years. Believe me when I tell you that kits make your life significantly more complicated."
"What do I do if they claim me for a night?" My etiquette teachers, of course, repeatedly informed me that the proper response to such a request was 'whatever you wish, my mate'. The thought of saying that made me nauseous, but if it was a choice between that and being sent back to Blackwood in disgrace...
"Tell them if you do not feel ready. I am fairly sure Colette is going to tell them not to approach you sexually for a while yet, and if she does not I will."
"Thank you." I replied, though I was secretly dubious, I did not know how they would react if I refused them and I do not want to endanger my contract.
"What did your instructors tell you about sex?" He asked, his tone that of someone morbidly fascinated with what they are about to hear. I could not meet his gaze, and I was hideously aware of my nudity as I responded.
"I was taught that my duty is to satisfy my mates."
"Yes, but what exactly were you taught?"
"I know how it works." I said, restraining my indignation.
"I would be shocked if you did not." He replied. "I mean, were you told that you were only to engage in it when your mates were in heat or some such nonsense?"
"I was taught that my, ah, services, are available to my mates whenever they ask." I replied, mortified.
"Typical. At least you were not told that sex was dirty...were you?" He sighed, rolling his eyes.
"My instructors stressed the point that my...urges, are of minimal importance and that I must defer to my mates at all times." That had been the overriding point of my instruction, if I let myself be controlled by my urges I would be unable to perform my duties and thus endanger my contract. "Therefore I am supposed to do what I must to satisfy my mates, but focus on my duties and not allow my base compulsions interfere."
"It never ceases to amaze me." He grumbled, finishing the statement under his breath, so I couldn't make out the rest of it. He shook his head and looked me in the eyes. "Anyway, you can ignore that. Once you feel comfortable enough to start exploring, you should do it. There is nothing wrong with enjoying a sexual encounter, hell, if you take an hour or so in the middle of the day to have a tryst it is fine by me. As long as it does not interfere with your tasks for the day you should enjoy your youth while it lasts."
"I, uh, I do not think I am ready for something like that." I replied, my discomfiture breaking through any kind of formality I tried to impose on my speech. He chuckled, but he did it without being patronizing, which I appreciated tremendously.
"That is fine. Take your time and get to know your mates, but when you feel you are ready, do not hesitate to enjoy yourself and get a little sweaty." He said, a smile playing across his muzzle. "It may seem odd to hear, since you have heard nothing but what the instructors say, but take it from someone with experience: having a good sexual relationship is a boon when it comes to your romantic relationships. Mating, at its best, is a mutually gratifying and assuring thing. Enjoying a long sleepless night with your mate can bring the two of you closer together than any courtship ritual."
"What if it takes me a long time to feel comfortable enough to start exploring?" Practically speaking, my mates would want to begin...exploring, as he so fancifully put it, soon. Much sooner than I would like, indubitably.
"Then it takes you a long time, nothing wrong with that." He replied, glancing out the window. "Damn, that is all the time we have. I want to finish this later, but for now we have to make dinner and then I am sure you will want to get to bed."
"Alright." I replied, pleased to have the uncomfortable conversation come to an end and already planning how to avoid continuing it.
"Good. Come on, dry off and put on a robe and I will show you to the kitchen." I got out of the tub, shivering a bit as the air of the room chilled my skin. I quickly dried off, being careful to pay extra attention to my hindpaws, and donned the robe Richard gave me. It was a darker blue than the one he was wearing, sapphire blue. After I belted it closed and he had dressed himself he looked me over and smiled approvingly. "You look good in that, between the robe, your fur, and your eyes you are very striking."
"Thank you." I replied politely. I have received comments about my fur and eyes all my life. They are dark even for a member of Clan Blackwood. But it felt good to hear the sincere compliment after a series of days that could best be described as trying. I followed him out of the room and was treated to a brief tour of the Manor as we walked.
"Colette and I share the room at the end of this hall, and our daughters' rooms are on the other side." He indicated a room on the far end of the same hall the bathing room had been in. "The girls' rooms are right next to ours, in descending order of age, your room will be right across from ours." He pointed to a series of three doors we had already passed, followed by one across from the master bedroom.
"Have my things been brought up yet?" I asked, worried about my ocarina in particular.
"Yes. I made sure everything was safe and untouched. You should also know that there are standing orders for the house guard and the staff not to enter your room. If one of them does so without your permission come to me and I shall take care of it. I doubt that will be an issue, but just in case something happens you should know."
"I am sure your staff is polite enough not to do anything untoward." I replied politely, making a mental note to be extra careful where I hid my daggers. I was fairly sure he was going to snoop through my things periodically, and even if he did not it was better to be safe than sorry. I had no idea how he would react to my numerous un-Todlike posessions after all.
"Very political of you." He commented dryly. "Anyway, we really do need to get started on dinner. I love my mate and my kits, but their stomachs tend to do more thinking than their heads if you know what I mean."
"So they are soldiers." I said tonelessly. "Taking care of the Blackwood Scouts was always...interesting." Especially when I had been on the same patrol and was just as hungry, tired, and filthy as the rest of them.
"I do not doubt it." Richard chuckled. "But fortunately for us, this meal will not be complicated. Fried eggs, ham, griddle cakes, potatoes, and coffee."
"For dinner?" I asked mildly, cocking an eyebrow slightly and earning another chuckle from Richard.
"It is a tradition. The first time Colette had a real mission of her own in the Army the force under her command was all but obliterated and she was almost killed herself, but she accomplished her task regardless and the first thing she was able to eat after the healers were done with her was breakfast, so now whenever Colette comes back home from a journey that is what she wants."
"I see." Interesting trivia to be sure, but hardly of much importance in the present, so I filed it away and decided to see if I could learn more later. I was about to ask him something else when I heard Colette's raised voice. Her sudden shouting reminded me strongly of some of the stealth exercises that I had undergone and made me half-consciously sweep the area for any convenient cover or shadow I could shelter in. Richard's ears just perked up and his expression became flat.
"Excuse me a moment, wait here. I will be right back."
"Yes sir." I replied formally, Colette's dulcet tones putting me on edge. As Richard walked stiffly in the direction of the shouting I retreated against the wall in the pool of half-darkness between two sconces and waited, suddenly more homesick than ever.
***
"Mother, why did you let Papa take Adam away so quickly?" Alicia asked as we all settled down in a small sitting room near the bathing room where mother and I had just finished cleaning ourselves. It was a simple affair, an architectural afterthought that had been put to use by putting five matching red-cushioned chairs and a small card table in it. The walls were hung with some unremarkable hangings that bore the Lakedweller crest and the windows were currently closed against the nighttime chill. I was mildly curious too, but honestly I was more tired than curious and more worried about why mother decided to have a 'talk' with us. Usually when that happened nothing good resulted from it.
"I let Richard take Adam for two reasons: One, because he needed a bath just as much as your sister and I did, and two, because we need to have a talk about proper etiquette." She said, eyeing us all as she sat down in one of the high backed chairs and gestured for us to imitate her. I fought to keep my expression neutral and my ears from lying flat as my sisters and I sat down. We were all wearing evening clothes now, plain pants and shirts to defend against the cold.
"What kind of etiquette?" Sarah ventured carefully. When we had left for Clan Blackwood, mother had still been in a tyrannical mood and the whole household had been frightened, except Papa, who was angry at her for taking out her anger on the rest of us, which only made her angrier. The only reason Sarah and Alicia had greeted mother the way they did was because they were able to see her good mood when she came in, if she had been angry Adam would have seen a much more subdued greeting.
"Mating etiquette." Mother said, fixing us each with a stern look. "The relationship you are all going to be entering into is complicated, to say the least. Your words and actions will not just be affecting yourselves, they will be affecting Adam and your sisters as well, and through them, the rest of the Clan. The first thing you all need to know is that you are not going to be mating right away. Adam may be here, but he has to learn from Richard how to manage the household, which takes time. He will be very busy in the coming weeks, and he will not have much time or energy to spare."
"So we should leave him alone?" Sarah asked.
"No, do not leave him alone, talk to him, make him feel welcome, just to not expect him to jump into bed with you. Get to know the lad for pity's sake, he deserves that much. If you treat him like you only care about his ability to run the house and soothe your loins he is going to pick up on it and he will resent you for it, and rightfully so."
"How long do you think it will be before we can start...well..." Alicia asked, bringing a flush to my muzzle that I carefully contained.
"As long as it takes." Mother said unhelpfully. "Like I said, get to know him. Let him know you appreciate all the work he is going to be doing. He will be your friend before he will be your lover. I will also give you this word of caution: males are raised to be very modest, and I can guarantee you he is more modest than most given that he is a member of Clan Blackwood. When you do start exploring it is going to take a lot of coaxing, gentle coaxing mind you, for him to be anything near adventurous. Males are often timid when they first start breeding because they are worried about performing well, and because of their modesty."
"How exactly do you mean 'modest'?" Sarah asked, and I admit I was curious myself, Adam did not seem to have any trouble when we were together on the way here...
"They are taught that they have to be chaste, or else they are of no worth to their Clan and will be sold to one of the brothels." The thought made me uneasy, and judging by the way my sisters squirmed it had the same effect on them, which mother took note of. "Yes, it is a horrible thought, and yes, it does happen. Would Priscilla have sold Adam to a brothel if he had slept with someone? I doubt it, but the threat is still used to keep them in line. That mindset is very hard to break, and it can be carried through even into a mateship. For instance, it was only after two months that your father was comfortable kissing, and even then he would not do it unless we were behind locked doors."
"You didn't kiss him until two months?" Sarah asked, wide-eyed. My insides twisted uncomfortably as the memory of my encounter with Adam leapt to the forefront of my mind.
"No, I did so beforehand, but he had only acquiesced out of duty." She said, eying me sidelong. Suddenly I felt like I was being probed by the Shade again, my guts went cold. I also felt horrendously stupid, I had been so eager to see what it was like to be intimate with a male I had completely forgotten common sense. He was likely angry at me, and if mother knew...
"How can we coax him?" Alicia asked. She was extremely eager to start mating, she wanted to have her kits early for some reason that absolutely baffled me.
"Befriend him first." Mother answered. "And let him settle into his new routine. Then you can let him know that you are interested in trying a few things, but go slowly and be sure to let him know you value him for more than his sex, I cannot emphasize that enough."
"Tamara has to breed him first though." Sarah said, giving me an odd look. "Since she's the oldest. That's in the contract."
"Yes, the contract says that Tamara has to take him to bed first. But, and this is something I want to impress on you, there are times when it is safe and even wise to ignore the contract."
"But it is a legal document! If we-" I started to speak, but mother quickly cut me off.
"Tamara, it is not as if the Queen's administrators are going to show up and litigate us if one of your sisters is the first to breed with Adam." She said, giving me a disapproving look.
"I did not mean it like that." I quickly asserted.
"I know what you meant Tamara." Mother sighed. "You do not like breaking the rules. We all know that. The clause in the contract about the eldest daughter mating first was put in to increase the chances of an heir. Since we were able to secure a male much sooner than I had hoped and none of you are going off to war, it is not really necessary. It is okay if you invite him, politely and without trying to manipulate, but if you try and force him it will end badly."
"Um, about the actual mating itself..." Sarah started, squirming awkwardly. I felt a pang of sympathy for her, she fancied someone already, her personal attendant Temperance, and Temperance reciprocates, but neither of them has worked up the courage to say anything. I truly wished I could help them, but it was not my place and that relationship could end in disaster as it is, if anyone pushed them the odds of it ending in tears only went up.
"Yes, Sarah? If any of you have questions go ahead and ask them. I will not laugh or mock you; and you have every right to be curious."
"Will it hurt?" Sarah finally managed to blurt out.
"It may the first few times." Mother replied. "You may have had experience with each other, but having a male is different. You are going to be stretched out, and there may be a little bleeding. If there is, do not panic, just clean it up and let yourself recover for a day or two. You will also likely be sore afterwards, again, this is normal. After a few matings you will not be achy afterward."
"How long does it take to get, um, good at it?" Alicia asked, emboldened by Sarah's question.
"Sex is not like a joust, no one is keeping score. That is very important to remember. I will be frank, your first few times will probably be disappointing at best. You have to learn about your body and Adam's, and he is going to have to learn about each of you. It just comes down to practice, the more you do it the better you will get."
"If we do not want to have kits can we use suppressor potions?" Sarah asked, referring to potions that would completely eliminate estrous cycles entirely.
"I do not like those." Mother said, frowning. "They are dangerous, especially when you are young. Herbs to prevent kits, yes, those are more than permissible. In fact, I will make sure we have some ready when your cycles come again."
"But-" Sarah started. She had a hard time dealing with her cycle, since it conflicted with her natural interest, so I understand why she would want to eliminate it entirely.
"I know it can be uncomfortable Sarah, but suppressor potions can leave you barren if you take them at your age, and often they make you miserably sick. It is much safer, and more enjoyable, to take the other herbs and quell your heat naturally."
"If Adam is still reluctant by then, what should we do?" Alicia asked.
"I am hoping that you will be mating by then, but if he is still reluctant you cannot force him." Mother replied sternly. Alicia nodded.
We spent maybe a half hour talking, us asking questions and mother answering them. Her answers boiled down to taking things slow and befriending him before we tried anything physical, and it would have gone on quite a while longer if dinner had not been imminent. Eventually mother's stomach growled and she sighed, standing up.
"Well, I think I have given you all the advice I can come up with for now. Unfortunately romance and sex cannot be learned by rote, only through experience, and besides that I am damned hungry. Alicia, Sarah, go prepare for dinner, Tamara, wait a moment, I need a word." The blood in my veins chilled to ice when the words left her mouth, but I hid it as best I could.
"Yes mother." I replied dutifully. Alicia and Sarah were momentarily curious, but left quickly, it is not uncommon for mother to hold me back after such group discussions, usually to talk about some facet of my eventual matriarchal duties. When they were both out and the door closed I waited for her to speak, an icy ball of dread in my gut.
"Tamara. The morning of our second day travelling through Queensfall Adam seemed upset, what happened?" She asked pointedly. The ball of ice suddenly grew spikes. She knew, I don't know how but she knew. I briefly considered lying, but the thought of what she would do to me banished that notion quickly. I would like to be able to eat tomorrow.
"We...kissed." I said weakly, wilting under her intense gaze.
"You kissed." She repeated skeptically.
"Yes."
"He did not want to I take it?" She asked, a dangerous edge creeping into her voice. I took a step back and raised my arms in a defensive position in case she got angry enough to strike me.
"I...he...he did not say no." It sounded weak even to my ears.
"Tell me Tamara, have you completely forgotten everything I told you about mateship, what I just re-iterated for the sake of your sisters?" She asked scathingly, I winced and took another step back. "I told you, repeatedly, that you were not to be aggressive, especially not at the start. You let your loins get the better of you, something that foolish young vixens do. You are going to be a Matriarch someday, you cannot afford to be that stupid."
"I-"
"Tamara, he needs to trust you. How would you feel if you were in his position? You need to think with your head, not your loins." She growled. "A Matriarch that is so easily distracted will ruin her clan, and I will not let that happen to Lakedweller, I will replace you first."
"You can't!" I blurted, panicked, terror shooting through me at the thought of being discarded like a defective piece of pottery. I knew it was a mistake the instant it left my mouth. Mother's eyes narrowed and her shoulders tightened. The one thing she hated above all else was being contradicted, in her house, she ruled. Her will was done, no excuses.
"Can't? Can't what? Can't replace a hot-blooded fool in the line of succession?" She growled, I couldn't meet her eyes. I tried to apologize, but she overrode me. "Make no mistake Tamara, I will do what is best for the clan, and if replacing you as Matriarch in waiting is for the best then I will do it. No one of us is as important as the whole, we are all expendable. No one is exempt, Matriarch's daughter or not. You made a stupid mistake, a mistake that could seriously damage your relationship with your mate, and thus affect the future of the clan as a whole. You cannot afford to make mistakes like that. Despite what you apparently think, your actions affect more than just yourself, and by jeopardizing your relations with Adam you are paving the way for a schism later on, all because you can't muster basic self-control!" She was in full-form now, dressing me down like a newly-arrived recruit in the military training camps.
** **"Did I not tell you, more than once, to keep yourself in check?...Well? Did that sound like a rhetorical question to you? Answer me!"
"You did." I said, clamping down on the waver in my voice as best I could.
"Did I not tell you before we even left for Blackwood that you would have to be circumspect?"
"You did."
"Good, I see your memory remains at least somewhat intact. So tell me Tamara, why did you ignore my explicit instructions?" I couldn't answer without my voice cracking, which would only goad her further. My eyes were filled with tears, and my vision was blurry, but they had not fallen yet, I could not let them, if she saw me cry she would lay into me fiercely, mother does not tolerate weakness or stupidity. "Well? What are you waiting for?"
I grit my teeth and tried to gird myself for the verbal lashing that was coming, but the door opened and papa came in, forestalling mother's tirade. He closed the door behind him, and even through my blurred vision I could see the anger on his face. I was clenching my fists so tightly that my claws hurt from digging into my flesh. Mother on her own was bad enough, but if father joined in on this too I did not know what I would do.
"She made a mistake Colette. That is what she did." Father said, standing in front of me and shielding me from her burgeoning wrath. "She is seventeen years old, it happens."
"She cannot afford to-"
"Do not speak to me like that Colette." He said warningly. "I am not one of your recruits, and neither is Tamara. She is not perfect, no one is. Adam told me what happened, and as I recall you were not so different back when you were her age."
"Richard, if she ruins-"
"She has not ruined anything." He said firmly. "Now stop treating our daughter like an inept soldier, half the house can hear you when you carry on like this. When Adam heard you just now he froze like a spooked deer. I will not have this in my household."
"Richard, this is serious."
"She did the same thing anyone her age would do, the same thing you did as I recall. This is not a matter you are well-suited to handle. I will take care of this, and furthermore, I will not let you treat one of my children like this Colette. I have told you that in the past. I will not let you become your mother." That got through to her. The anger on her face grew to a furious peak, but it was tempered with a hint of fear, and after a few more moments there may have even been a flicker of guilt as well. She didn't say anything more, but she walked out quickly and stiffly. After she was gone papa turned back to me and, to my relief, pulled me into a hug.
"I am sorry." I croaked, ashamed of the state I was in.
"I am not the one you must apologize to." He said calmly. "Adam deserves an apology, and you will give him one. Understand?"
"Yes." He wasn't berating me like mother had been, just telling me what I had to do.
"Good. Just be sure to learn from this mistake." He kept on holding me for a while, long enough for me to regain my composure, and let me decide when to break apart.
"Thank you." I sniffed. "But won't mother be angry with you now?"
"Do not worry about it, she knows she went too far, and I can handle it. You need to get ready for dinner though, and do not worry about your mother. I will make sure she does not do anything untoward while we are eating." He gave me a quick nuzzle and pulled me out of the room with him. I walked with him back to the hallway where our bedrooms were without saying another word, but giving him another hug before entering my room. He returned it and patted me gently before turning to head to the kitchens.
As I was shifting into more appropriate clothing there was a quiet knock on my door. I answered it despite the nervous knot my stomach had become, fearing that mother had come to finish her lecture. Instead, Alicia and Sarah were there. I winced guiltily, knowing they would have heard everything mother had said. For a moment I wondered if she was right and if they would be angry with me when they found out what I had done.
"We heard what mother said." Sarah said unnecessarily.
"I know. I was stupid and-" I attempted to make an apology, but before I could get going Alicia wrapped her arms around me, Sarah joining in soon after.
"Hush." Alicia commanded gently. After that no more words needed to be said. They stayed with me until we had to leave for dinner, just being with me. When the time came they helped me finish changing and made sure that no sign of the shameful tears that I had shed remained on my muzzle. Then we walked to dinner together, and I was grateful for their comforting presence beside me as we went.
***
Richard was true to his word, returning after a few short minutes to lead me to the kitchens. He did not look angry, per se, but he was definitely not happy. I stepped out to meet him and waited silently for him to say anything that would allow me to judge his mood better, schooling my face into polite neutrality once again. The knowledge that my contract was ultimately in Colette's paws was much more frightening now that I had heard her berating someone, and it may have shown on my face despite my attempts to hide how I felt because Richard attempted to reassure me.
"Relax." He sighed, rubbing his face with his paws. "I tamed the roaring dragon, you need not worry about her."
"Yes, sir." I replied quietly and quickly changed the subject. "Will there be any other food we need to prepare besides the ones you mentioned earlier?"
"No, that will be it. Come on, it is not far." He beckoned me with a paw and I followed him a little stiffly. The robe I was wearing was a much more traditional one than I was accustomed to. Back in Blackwood I had typically worn tunics and pants, and on the occasions I did wear a robe it was of a more modern, looser, fit than the one I had been provided.
The one I currently wore restricted my legs uncomfortably, requiring me to shorten my stride. It was also tight across the shoulders, further limiting my movement. A fact that rather unfortunately showed when I tripped and nearly fell flat on my face not a few moments after we had started walking, I was able to save myself by grabbing onto a convenient doorknob, but it was still humiliating nonetheless.
"Are you alright?" Richard asked concernedly, helping me stand up.
"I am not used to this style of robe." I admitted, attempting to hide the frustration and embarrassment in my voice.
"We can have a few more robes made over the next week." Richard assured me. "That one could be altered as well, it does not fit you quite right."
"Would it be permissible for me to wear pants and a tunic?" I ventured cautiously, all too aware that I wasn't in familiar territory anymore but unwilling to let the point go uncontested. It was absolutely ridiculous what males were supposed to wear in order to be proper. Half the tripe that served for high fashion that I had seen in the scant reports that made it to Blackwood was absurd at best and degrading at worst.
"If I'm honest I would prefer you to wear robes." He said, leading me into the large dining room obviously meant for the Matriarch and her family. "At least for a while; Colette can be a little prickly about certain things, and that is one of them. I am not saying you must abandon them entirely" He added quickly when he saw my distress. "But give her a chance to get a feel for you first."
"What do you mean?"
"Colette is..." He heaved a deep, somewhat annoyed, sigh as he puzzled out how to tell me what he wanted to say. "Colette likes to feel that she is in control. She expects to be obeyed at all times, and since you are a new she is going to be watching you carefully."
"So I will need to paw the line." I surmised, wincing internally.
"To an extent, yes. If she does something completely unconscionable you can come to me and I will talk to her about it, but once she gets to know you she will lighten up. Do not worry overmuch. Ah, here we are."
The door to the kitchen was half open and I could hear hushed voices coming out of it. Upon entering I saw two matronly females in oversized white tunics whispering together off in one corner. A candle sat between them illuminating their eerily identical features. Average height and average build with their fur being a slightly lighter red than was typical, slightly lighter amber colored eyes, and no other distinguishing features, they could have been from anywhere in the realm. They looked up when we came in and I met their grey-eyed stares levelly, examining them as much as they were examining me.
"You must be Adam." The one on the left said, her voice was a musical soprano that held obvious interest. Her nostrils flared as she sought out my scent. I nodded and looked them over more thoroughly. They were definitely twins, everything about them was exactly the same, from the way they looked and dressed to the way they held themselves. "I'm Maria."
"And I'm Mary." Chimed in her twin. I cocked an eyebrow slightly. "We're Richard's assistants."
"The Matriarch decided that her mate could use some help a few years ago," Maria started.
"And decided that two washed up scouts were the best choice." Mary finished. My eyebrow arched up a little higher and Richard laughed.
"You two practiced that." He accused. The twins didn't bother lying, giggling instead.
"Perhaps we should get started?" I asked, looking around and trying to get a feel for the layout of the kitchen.
"Yes, let's." Richard interrupted Mary before she could protest. I really hoped I would be able to tell them apart eventually, as things stood I couldn't. Even their magical auras were identical. "Before my assistants attempt any further comedy. Now hold on a moment and I will light the stoves."
I followed him towards the stoves and cocked an eyebrow at the pained groan he made as he knelt down and started groping in a small cabinet presumably for a flint and steel. I felt myself slipping back into cold formality due to the presence of the twins, who snorted derisively at Richard's sentiment. I looked under the stoves and saw that logs and kindling had already been loaded.
"I can light it." I forestalled him with a paw and knelt down in front of the stove, reaching out my right paw and summoning a flickering blue will-o-wisp of flame with a small effort of will. A few seconds of concentration saw that the flame was hot enough to properly set the wood alight and with a soft word of command I sent the small orb into the base of the fire box and the twigs instantly blazed with heat and light.
"Ooh, now there's useful." One of the twins said from across the kitchen. "Would you mind getting the rest of 'em?"
"Ah, I forgot that you'd have magic." Richard grunted as he stood up. "Next time stop me before I crouch. My old knees will thank you."
"Oh quit taking the piss, you're not that old." One of the twins laughed, showing remarkable familiarity with their superior, and a male no less. Interesting.
"Older than you." Richard shot back as he ambled over to a rack of pots and began pulling them down seemingly at random as I went around and lit the other stoves the same way I had the first, mildly pleased to note that the effort was not as magically taxing as I had been afraid it would be. In the growing light cast by the fires I could make out the kitchen better, and was pleased to see that it was nearly identical to the one at Blackwood. The stoves lined the walls, the pantry was opposite the door, and opposite the stoves were the racks of cooking utensils and miscellaneous equipment. In the middle of it all was a large, freestanding slate countertop that served as a prep area.
"Well that's not too hard, now is it?" One of the twins, since I was not looking at them I was unable to tell which, shot back gleefully. I grinned, being sure not to let Richard see it. He had walked right into that one. Anyone willing to make a joke at the expense of a Patriarch was someone I might come to like.
"Oh stuff it, the both of you." He grumbled good naturedly before getting my attention. "Adam, I want you to help Maria slice the ham, and when the stoves are hot enough I want you to handle the eggs."
"How should I cook them?"
"Fried. Salt is in the crocks over the stove and lard is in the cold box in the pantry, but take care of the ham first." He ordered. I nodded politely and looked across the kitchen to see which twin I was to help. Thankfully Mary was wrestling with a bag of potatoes, which made my choice easy.
I walked over to the knife block and, after a few bad guesses, I found a carving knife sized perfectly for my paw and walked over to where Maria was slicing a cured ham into perfectly even proportions with practiced ease. When I walked over she divided the remaining meat in half and slid me one of the hunks, which I set to work on immediately.
This, I was familiar with. This was comfortable. I have been cooking since I was large enough to hold a knife. Carving ham, chopping potatoes, mixing batter for griddle cakes...comforting. The music of a busy kitchen welled up around me and soothed my mind. The homesickness was still there, and it would be for a while, but while I was preparing a meal I was too busy to think about it and the well-practiced tasks steadied my nerves.
Before long the fires I had lit were hot enough to start the actual cooking, and I started frying a dozen eggs, as instructed. They didn't take long to cook over the roaring fire, but there were a lot of them, and keeping them from burning occupied my attention fully. After those were done Richard had me start on griddle cakes, which were apparently his daughters' favorite food judging by the copious amounts of batter that had been made. I could not help but find all of the preparations to be mildly amusing. In Blackwood breakfast was almost always a soup or stew of some kind, barley, squash, and pumpkin being particular favorites.
Coffee, surprisingly, was to be offered despite the late hour. Richard took care of this himself, saying that Colette was extremely particular about her coffee and he was the only one she allowed to make it. Tea, on the other paw, was not, to my disappointment. I drank coffee, but I vastly preferred the spiced tea that was one of Blackwood's few exports other than medicinal herbs. Coffee just could not compare. Sadly, judging by the glance at the pantry I had been able to get there was not a single leaf of tea to be found. I would have to ask mother to send some when I wrote home. If nothing else it would be a pleasant reminder of the long evenings I had spent curled up on a couch watching rain or snow fall through a window while mother had lectured my sister on Matriarchal business.
My disappointment aside, the meal was completed in relatively short order and once everything was ready all of us bustled the food out into the dining room where Collette and her daughters were already waiting at the mahogany table. I dropped the platter of eggs in the middle, next to the coffee urn and went back to grab one of the griddle cakes. All of the anxiety I'd been feeling before came back in full force as I felt the eyes of my new family bearing down on me. I kept my expression neutral as best I could, especially when I saw Colette's disgruntled expression.
Once all the food was brought out there was nothing else I could do to delay and I sat down next to Richard and Colette, across from my new mates. The three of them watched me intently as I gathered my own share of the food. I found myself having to suppress nervous trembling in my arms as I poured a small cup of coffee and sat down, taking in the details of the well-furbished room to distract myself.
A well-stocked wood and glass sideboard sat next to an upright clock and took up a fair portion of the north wall, packed to the brim with numerous bottles of whiskey, wine, and the distinctive red glass bottles of Rushkvar, an incredibly potent (and even more incredibly harsh) root liquor distilled by the clans that inhabited the northern reaches of the realm not far from Blackwood. The stuff was an acquired taste and in the opinion of most people who tried it, myself included, was better left for use as firestarter.
The south wall was completely taken up by floor-to ceiling windows that currently let in the light of the half moon, and the rest of the wall space was adorned by paintings that all shared a martial theme. The hardwood floor was covered with an assortment of rugs too ornate not to have been original to the home, though the one under the table was much more utilitarian for obvious reasons. A large fireplace and numerous candles provided enough light to comfortably see, and enough heat to be mildly uncomfortable for someone wearing a robe as opposed to the light but formal tunics and trousers Colette and her daughters were wearing.
"Hello Adam." Alicia seized the opportunity to speak the instant I'd sat down.
"Hello." I returned quietly, taking a sip of coffee and nearly gagging at its strength. I had heard stories about army coffee from my sister, but I had always thought them fanciful hyperbole, but after having tasted the coffin varnish Colette was happily pouring down her neck I was forced to reevaluate my previous assessment. I added two lumps of sugar to my cup and hoped that would be enough to keep my teeth from dissolving.
"I'm Alicia." She tried again, obviously hoping to draw me into conversation.
"He knows who you are." Colette grunted, draining an entire cup of coffee in one go, no sugar, no cream.
"Do not be a bear." Richard chastised, pouring her another cup and giving her a meaningful glance. She just grunted again and drank her coffee, but the damage had been done, her daughters were too nervous to attempt a conversation on their own now, which suited me just fine. In Blackwood meals were not generally social affairs, you sat, you ate, and then you got on with your business. Neat, tidy, efficient. Unfortunately Richard looked about as displeased with the silence as I was happy with it and gave his daughters a pointed look.
"These eggs are perfect Adam, well done." Sarah ventured timidly.
"Thank you." I replied quietly, inwardly begging for Richard to stop.
"Did you make the ham too?"
"Just the eggs."
"Hmph, you'll have to do more than that to pull your weight." Colette snorted, earning herself an impressive glare from Richard which made the vixens across from me seize up in fear and do their best to become invisible.
"I will be sure to do so in the future." I was careful to keep my voice demure and submissive, though I felt a strong urge to dump the coffee urn into her lap.
"I gave him his instructions Colette, he did well." He only got a grunt in response. Somehow I got the impression that Colette would be sleeping in a decidedly cold bed for a while.
"Do you want any more potatoes Adam?" Tamara asked after Richard prompted her with a look.
"No, thank you." I just wanted to get away from Colette as fast as possible.
The conversation, if it could be called that, lurched and heaved awkwardly in a similar pattern under Richard's constant prodding for a while but eventually ground to heavy silence until Colette (who ate with a kind of frantic zeal that I normally only saw in soldiers who just came back from combat) got up and left, saying something about catching up on business she had left undone. When the door closed behind her it was like breaking the surface of a lake after nearly drowning. Everyone else started actually breathing, almost as if they would have drawn Colette's wrath for breathing too loudly.
"Alright, now that the bugbear is gone," Richard said, his own annoyance evident. "Can we have an actual conversation?"
"S-sorry." Sarah squeaked, causing Richard to sigh.
"It is not your fault Sarah." Richard said mildly, glancing at Tamara quickly. Tamara looked very guilty for a second and her gaze flickered to me, but I didn't think either of her sisters noticed it, Richard did though, and changed the subject. "Anyway, I would like to hear more about your journey here Adam. I have not had the chance to ask Colette about the Shade encounter. You told me something of it earlier, but I suspect there is more to it than what you said."
"Ooh, yes, mother and Tamara refused to tell us much about it." Alicia jumped in, her eyes alight with interest.
"That is not something to talk about at the table." Tamara growled repressively, shivering in her seat.
"That is a fair point." I agreed quietly. I didn't want to think about what happened any more than she did, probably less since I had a chunk of that thing latched onto my mana pool.
"But we haven't heard anything about it." Sarah wheedled, turning her gaze on Tamara and then me. She had a very good begging face, I had to give her that, the eyes were big and innocent without being too obvious, the slight frown was endearing instead of off-putting, and her ears drooped just enough to give her a slightly sad look. High marks. Unfortunately for her, I have dealt with kits with much better ones.
"It is not a pleasant topic to discuss." Despite my hunger I had only picked at my food while Colette was in the room, and thinking about the Shade only made me less inclined to eat.
"I would like to hear more about your perspective. From what I understand meeting a Shade of that level of power is rare, especially in the outskirts of the forest." Richard prodded.
"That is correct." He frowned when I addressed him so stiffly, but the way Tamara, Alicia and Sarah were watching me prevented anything less.
"Well why do you think you were attacked then?" He obviously wasn't going to let me out of this.
"As I mentioned earlier, that particular shade has always been interested in me, which may have been a factor. Otherwise it could merely have been misfortune. Just because the Shades seem to prefer to keep to The Black does not mean they always do."
"What happens when you are attacked by a Shade?" Sarah asked.
"If it is a lesser one, and it does not catch you unawares you, can kill it or try to run. If it is of the same magnitude as the one we encountered you ether use a world stone and hope it loses interest or you die." There was a long and awkward silence before anyone spoke.
"Have you ever fought a Shade?" Tamara ventured.
"Yes." Richard gave me a pointed look and I continued. "I have encountered Imps, Darklings and Fellhounds on patrol."
"You went out on patrol? Into Queensfall?" Alicia asked, her voice equal parts skepticism and surprise. I felt my hackles attempting to rise but restrained myself.
"Yes." I kept the growl out of my voice, just.
"You received full combat training in Blackwood, correct?" Richard asked. He knew the answer to that already, the question was for Alicia's benefit.
"Correct." My voice was flat. "Every member of Clan Blackwood undergoes martial training. No exceptions."
"Ah...I did not mean any offense." Alicia replied weakly.
"I am sure you did not." With that the awkward silence returned.
"W-what else did you learn?" Sarah asked.
"Woodcraft, magic and medicine."
"Can you dance?"
"No." A half-truth. My instructors had tried to teach me, but I proved so hopelessly inept that they gave up in disgust. I never got past the very basics. The vixens looked disappointed.
"What about art?" Alicia was desperately trying to find common ground, and failing.
"My mother and I decided that martial training and scouting experience was more important than nonessential skills. There was not enough time in a day for me to learn dancing, art, singing, and other such things. Not when I needed to learn how to survive in Queensfall."
"So...combat is all you were trained for?" This time it was Sarah's turn to put her hindpaw in her mouth. I desperately wanted to say something sarcastic, but that would not be appropriate for my station.
"I can cook, clean, balance accounts, and do household maintenance, like the contract requires."
"What do you do for enjoyment?" Alicia asked.
"I have an ocarina." I answered after a moment of reluctance. There were also the vixens I'd melded muzzles with, but I decided to let that go unmentioned.
"Oh! I play the ocarina too, perhaps we could play together." Alicia looked relieved to finally find her common ground.
"If our duties allow the time."
"It is not as though you will be kept completely busy from morning to night." She said happily. I stared at her flatly and blinked slowly a few times, wondering if she was serious or not. She had to realize that while she and her sisters were learning political maneuvering and soldiering from their mother I would be helping Richard with everything else that was required to keep the Clan functioning...or at least I hoped she did.
"These first few days will be hectic, but you will have time for yourself, and I would like to hear you play as well." Richard obviously liked the idea.
"I typically play for personal enjoyment, not performance. My skill may not be adequate."
"Do not be so modest, I am sure you will do fine." Richard's tone left no room for disagreement.
"If that is what you wish." I acquiesced, inwardly grimacing. I would have something new to dread for the next few days it seemed.
"Good! We can all sit down together like a family, make an evening of it. Perhaps the night after tomorrow." And just like that my fate was sealed. I was about to open my mouth to stage one last protest when the clock chimed ten. "Well, this was enjoyable but I think we had all get ready for bed. Duty waits for no one, and we all have early mornings."
"Yes Papa." The three vixens chorused at the obvious dismissal. I stood up and started stacking plates and gathering utensils as Alicia and Sarah left, hugging Richard on the way out.
"Adam?" Tamara had tarried behind, looking quite nervous. "May I speak to you in private?"
Richard grabbed the plates I had gathered and walked into the kitchen, leaving us alone.
"What do you wish of me?" I asked when he was quite out of earshot, or appeared to be.
"I wanted to apologize. For the first night on the trail, when I...went too far." She mistook my silence (born of surprise) for something else, because from there on out her apology became rather frantic. "I know I was foolish, a-and rude, and I am sorry. I just wanted to try and make you feel comfortable." She realized her mistake instantly. "Ah, I mean, I wanted to get close to you!" Even worse. "N-no, I mean I was hoping that we could bond." She started panicking then. "What I am trying to say is that I wanted to-"
"I understand what you are trying to say." I decided to interrupt her before she dug herself a deeper hole than she already had. The difference in her normally controlled countenance was startling, though the fact that she seemed to be almost as discomfited by the event as I was boded well, I thought.
"T-then you accept my apology?" She cautiously asked.
"Provided that you do not attempt to repeat your actions."
"I will not, I swear!" The sheer amount of relief in her voice was either comical or disconcerting, but I could not decide which. "I...I just...I always thought-"
"You thought that your first encounter with a Tod would be passionate and romantic."
"Yes." Shame was writ large on her muzzle.
There was a long pause as I considered how to answer; a harsh remonstration could turn her against me, and if I wanted to have anything like a happy life that could not happen, but at the same time she did the next best thing to forcing herself on me...and though honesty dictated I admit I did not do much to refuse her I would do everything I could to prevent that from happening again in the future. Richard may have said that the vixens could not force me, but I had my doubts. I held no delusions about what would happen to my contract if I was considered 'fractious' or 'stubborn'. Still, if I could ensure that further incidents would not happen it was in my best interest to do so.
"You went too far." My voice came out a little sharper than I intended and she flinched. A deep breath calmed the unexpected spike of anger enough for me to speak again. "I was not ready, and tents are not conducive to privacy."
"I am sorry." She repeated in a small voice. "I know I acted like a spoiled kit and I am sorry."
"Repeated apologies are not necessary." I figured it best to nip that in the bud. "But you must understand that I have just met you. I know next to nothing about you and you know next to nothing about me. I am not prepared to engage in that manner of...affection, until we are more comfortable with each other."
"I understand. I will not let my loins get the better of me again." There was another long pause as she fidgeted, trying to work up the courage to say something else. I waited patiently, assuming that trying to draw her out would have the opposite effect. What she did say, though, was not what I expected. "If it brings you any comfort, I will not ask you to bed outside of my cycles."
It was obviously meant as an appeasement of some sort, but I did not know what to say about it so after a second of confusion I fell back on my protocol training.
"When we do begin...that." I inwardly scolded myself for being so ridiculous as to be incapable of saying 'mating'. "That choice belongs to you."
Then we stood still and refused to meet each other's eyes for a long moment, but eventually she broke the silence.
"That is all I needed to speak to you about and Papa is right, we do need to get to bed." She said stiltedly before half turning to leave. "Until tomorrow Adam."
"Good night Tamara."
With that Tamara beat a hasty retreat out of the dining room. When I was alone I shook my head in disbelief. My first day had not progressed passed dinner and it was already shaping up to be a disaster. Colette was angry and is likely to be hounding me about my performance, my new mates were as eager to approach me as they are terrified of their mother, Richard is actively encouraging them, and I have not even started the truly onerous tasks like finance or repair yet. I felt my ears droop as the enormity of my situation pressed down upon me like an iron weight. How was I supposed to balance my domestic duties and my romantic ones? If I only had one mate it may have been possible, but three? All I could do was push forward and succeed no matter what. The price of failure was unacceptable. If I got sent back to Blackwood for failure to perform my duties I may as well open my veins with my knife. In fact, I mused darkly, doing just that would salvage some honor at least.
"What is wrong? You seem upset." I tried not to jump when Richard spoke, but I had not heard him coming and the sudden interruption startled me badly.
"Nothing. I apologize, I should have gathered the rest of the dishes already." I started grabbing what was left on the table under Richard's watchful eye.
"Did Tamara apologize?" He grabbed the empty coffee urn, which I could not have carried anyway, and followed me into the empty kitchen. A tub of water was already set out and I started washing dishes to make up for lost time.
"Yes. Awkwardly, but she did." He didn't need to specify what she was apologizing for.
"Good. Now that that is done, let us wash these and move on. I am sure we would both like to get to bed as soon as possible." I restrained a sigh as I started scrubbing out the coffee urn, feeling exhausted.
If this was just the night day I could not help but dread what was to come.