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Chapter 06

Sul'ava and I were resting in a small clearing a little ways off the path to her home. We were only a few hours out of Angarth.

I was lying on my side, next to her, as she lay on her back. My head rested on her shoulder. Her arm was around and under my shoulders.

"I was... not a good person," Sul'ava started. "You deserve to know what I did, what I was..."

* * *

Sul'ava felt a tinge of guilt for what the wolf was going through. But the feeling disappeared quickly as she laughed at the figure kneeling on the cold stone floor at the foot of the dais. Her father was in his chair, sneering.

"Where is the tribute?" Gorathi demanded.

"Lord... there was not enough rain... we couldn't grow..."

His words ended in a shriek as Gorathi casually snapped his fingers, sending waves of crushing pain through the wolf. Sul'ava's grin widened as she subconsciously suppressed any other emotion.

"You blame the rain for your inadequacies?"

"Lord, I cannot... we can't grow..."

Another snap, another shriek.

"Get out of my sight."

The pitiful figure half-crawled out of the room as Gorathi turned to look at his daughter. "You understand what useless creatures they are?"

"Yes, father," Sul'ava said. She could smell the wolf's fear and it thrilled her.

"You'll be their lord one day," Gorathi said, reaching out to slide his fingers over his daughter's head. "I hope you remember all that I have taught you..."

Sul'ava nodded, eyes widening. "Yes, father, and I want to learn more. I want to one day be as powerful as you." She lusted for the power her father wielded. Even though it was only over a small village and its pitiful population, she knew her ambition was greater than her father's. She would exceed him one day.

Gorathi laughed derisively, pulling his hand back. "I doubt it, but we shall see," he said. "You're too much like your mother." He nearly spit out the last word and Sul'ava shrunk back, knowing too well the rage that could occur when he even thought of her mother.

"Go. Make sure my dinner will be ready," Gorathi said, closing his eyes and leaning back.

Sul'ava nodded and slowly backed out of the room, closing the door behind her respectfully. She straightened up and turned around, gazing imperiously down the hall as she walked towards the kitchen, thinking of her mother. She couldn't remember her at all, except for the occasional brief flash that would disappear as quickly as it arrived.

Three cooks were there, all toiling away at their tasks. Sul'ava sniffed the air disdainfully as she peered over their shoulders. They shrunk away from her, not wanting to antagonize her.

"Will the dinner be ready on time?" she asked.

One of the cooks stepped forward for a moment. He kept his head down. "Yes, lady," the old fox murmured.

"Good," Sul'ava said, stepping around him. "You know what happens if father's dinner is late..."

She stopped and studied one of the cooks.

"Who's this?"

The old fox stepped up to her side. "That is Dilly, lady," he said. "He is Frederick's replacement."

"What happened to Frederick?" Sul'ava asked.

"He burnt the lord's dinner bread two nights ago."

The fox didn't say anymore, but Sul'ava knew what that meant - Gorathi would have had him whipped heavily. Frederick wouldn't be back in the kitchens for a week or so.

"Does... Dilly... know how to cook?"

"Yes, lady," the fox said. "See? He is preparing the lord's desert tonight."

Sul'ava nodded, watching the young canine as he tried to continue working under her gaze. He was slim, but strong-looking, with shaggy brown fur. His tail curled downwards as he resolutely stirred a batch of milk with eggs.

"Good." Sul'ava turned and left the kitchen, returning to her quarters to wait for their nightly meal.

Gorathi was strict - he'd even had her whipped once, when she was very little. She'd stolen a bag of pretty stones from her father's workshop. They turned out to be very valuable gemstones, useful for his rites and rituals. She'd healed with no scars, fortunately, but her father refused to provide any kind of relief from the pain.

She learned quickly.

She prepared herself for dinner - cleaning up, putting on proper clothes, the rest of the things her father expected of her. Then she went into the dining hall to wait for him. He brooked no tardiness.

The meal was served promptly when Gorathi entered. He was pleased with the meal and it went smoothly, to the relief of the cooks. Sul'ava ate in silence. If her father wanted conversation, he would start it.

He wanted nothing from her at the meal and left promptly after finishing to return to his workshop. Several servants came in to clear dishes and clean up as Sul'ava sat, thinking quietly to herself. The servants moved gingerly around her, not wanting to disturb her.

Dilly came in and started to collect the desert dishes. Sul'ava looked at him and realized he was quite handsome.

"Are you from the village?" she asked.

The young canine stiffened. He turned his head slightly but kept his eyes on the table. "Yes, lady," he said quietly.

"How is Frederick?"

"He cannot walk." Sul'ava could hear the slightest trace of anger in his voice - the rest of the servants did as well and froze in place.

Sul'ava smiled. This one was feisty. "He'll heal, I'm sure."

"No, lady," the canine said, a little more loudly. "He will never walk again. His calves were ripped to the bone from the knee down."

Sul'ava nearly flinched. Her father was cruel, but that seemed... excessive, even for him. She didn't say anything - she just stared unblinkingly at the canine.

"May I be excused, lady?" he asked finally. Sul'ava nodded curtly and he gathered up the final dishes to take back to the kitchen.

The dragon watched him leave and licked her lips. This one showed little fear - it was a marked change from the others. He obviously knew firsthand what her father could do. Did he not respect her the same amount?

Sul'ava returned to her quarters. The canine intrigued her. She wanted to know more about him - he was so different from the rest of the villagers. He was very handsome, to be sure, but he carried himself proudly.

She decided she would be bold with this one. Only a few of the villagers knew her for what she really was and they would not risk spreading rumors. She smiled quietly to herself. She would ask father for this one, she decided. He wouldn't care.

She left her room and went to her father's quarters on the other side of the small castle, past the throne room.

She knocked lightly on the door.

"Enter."

Sul'ava slowly stepped into the dark room. Her eyes adjusted quickly and she saw Gorathi lying on his ornate bed in the far corner.

"What is it?"

"I would like one of the servants assigned to me, father," Sul'ava said.

"Oh? Which one?" Sul'ava could tell her father was mildly interested - his head rose slightly off his pillows as he stared at her disconcertingly.

"One of the new cooks."

His head flopped back onto the pillows. "Take him, do what you like. So long as my dinner is on time," he muttered.

"Thank you, father," Sul'ava said quietly. She started to back out of the room, but Gorathi held up a hand.

"You remind me of your mother more and more every day," the large dragon said darkly. "You are even starting to look like her... I'll have to make sure you don't end up like she did."

Sul'ava shuddered a little. "Yes, father."

"You even sound like her! Get out of here!" Gorathi shouted suddenly, sitting up sharply. His teeth were bared and his eyes were glowing brightly.

Sul'ava quickly left the room as a loud roar of anger and hate blasted the inside of the room. Her father had moods... unexplainable tempers that could flair for no reason. But if she started to look too much like her mother, she might not even be able to look at him without drawing his wrath.

She never found out what her mother did to cause such hatred in Gorathi. She never dared to ask.

She walked back to her quarters swiftly, trying not to shake - her father scared her more every day. But he had so much to teach her yet, and she would continue his legacy, that she was sure of.

When she reached her room, she looked at the attendant stationed outside. "Bring me Dilly, from the kitchens," she said. "Then leave for the night - your services will not be required until tomorrow."

The servant nodded and ran off to do her bidding as she went into her room and sat in a large chair. Her quarters were not as luxurious as her father's, but they were impressive.

She didn't wait long before hearing a light rap on her bedroom door.

"Enter," she called out.

Dilly opened the door and stepped inside, head bowed. She heard the other servant scurry off as Dilly took three steps before stopping and waiting.

"Why are you working here?" she asked, gazing at him.

"Frederick's family had nobody else to send," he said slowly. "I was the only one left in the village able to handle the workload in the kitchen."

"Look at me when you speak," Sul'ava commanded. Dilly looked up at her, surprised. "What do you mean, nobody is left in the village?"

"Many servants at this castle are not able to work here for long," Dilly said diplomatically. "The lord's temper is widely known."

Sul'ava grinned. "You are not enjoying yourself here?"

"Yes, lady, I am."

"You would lie to your lady?"

The canine's fingers curled into tight balls. "Yes, lady, I do lie."

Sul'ava's smile grew wider. It was fun to tease this one. "You should be punished for your insolence."

"Then nobody would be left to make the lord and lady's desert," Dilly said. The anger was back - Sul'ava could tell he was biting his tongue.

"Nobody at all?" Sul'ava asked, goading him.

"My brother would have been able to," Dilly said slowly, "but you and your father had him blinded for looking at you. My father could have, but he disappeared several months ago. My younger sister might have been able to, but she and my mother tried to flee the village. Your father's seeker spell found them within hours after he discovered they'd left."

Sul'ava sat quietly. Nobody dared to speak like that to her, ever. But for that reason, she'd never heard anything like what he was saying, in the way he said it. She knew very well what happened to servants who displeased her father, but she never really thought about them.

"Maybe they shouldn't have ran," she muttered, breaking her eyes from his.

"Maybe they shouldn't have been murdered," Dilly said quietly.

Sul'ava continued to look away. "I could have you killed for saying that."

"Go ahead," the canine said defiantly. Every word he spoke made Sul'ava feel more and more ashamed. How had he managed to turn the tables on her so easily? "I have nothing left to live for."

"Get out of here," Sul'ava said, standing up and turning around.

"Yes, lady," Dilly said sarcastically. "I am at your command."

Sul'ava turned around. "I am not my father, you know."

Dilly laughed. It was a hollow, chilling laugh. "Oh, how well we know, lady," he said, eyes dropping again. The fight seemed to leave him. "You are not your father. But you will be just as evil."

He turned around and put his hand on the door and paused. He didn't look back at her.

"Are you going to kill me now?"

Sul'ava felt a growing sickness in her belly. "No."

"Oh. You'll leave that to your father?"

She closed her eyes. The sickness was growing. "No."

"I see. It's to be torture then?"

Sul'ava sat on the bed heavily, breathing hard. "No. Leave me."

Dilly turned around. His eyes seemed to have sunk into his head as he walked towards her, staring. "You won't have my legs flayed to the bone for my insolence?"

"Leave me," Sul'ava gasped. She felt like she was going to retch. Conflicting emotions surged through her, making her dizzy. Why was she allowing this... weakling... to afflict her so badly?

Why had she ever thought to invite him into her room? What had possessed her to do that?

"Maybe you will request your father to brew a special poison for me," Dilly said. He was leaning in close to her now - she could smell his breath. "A long, slow-moving poison. One that will keep me alive just long enough to extract the very last scream out of me. Like the one you and your father used on my neighbor."

Sul'ava clutched her stomach. She couldn't bear any more of Dilly's words. She felt ashamed. Unbidden memories surfaced in her mind, bubbling up from the dark depths where they'd been locked away.

Her mother's face... her carefree childhood... her father's domineering ways... he'd taken her from her mother, taken her to Angarth, far away from home. Where was home? Somewhere warm and bright. And there were more memories... but she couldn't bear it any longer.

"Leave! Leave me now!" she shrieked. Her palms pressed into her closed eyes as she gasped for breath.

"Yes, lady," Dilly said. The anger was nearly gone from his voice. "You understand what I feel now - just a little." She heard him walk out of the room and close the door.

She started to sob, taking great deep shuddering breaths. The memories wouldn't leave her. She closed her eyes and fell back into her bead, clutching her head. Her heart raced and she groaned deeply as long-suppressed feelings flooded her body.

Her mother... she could remember her now. Light blue scales, a kind smile, dark blue eyes, powerful, sleek body. Sul'ava could remember her mother teaching her charms - harmless spells designed to amuse, like creating sparks or causing a small, dancing goblin to appear on the table.

She could smell the warm house, the fresh scent of her mother, the warm spring breezes blowing in the windows... her mother smiled at her.

In her mind, she watched in horror as darkness started to overtake the images of her childhood. With a fleetingness reserved to dreams, her mother faded, leaving her empty and cold.

She curled up and shivered. She felt cold. Something was missing - it was missing all the time, but she never knew it till now.

Something was in her head blanking out her memories. The only one who could possibly do something like that was her father.

Would her father hate her mother so much as to invade her own mind?

She started to cry again, desperately trying to remember again. But nothing came - only the blackness. It had taken Dilly's cruelness to expose her own.

She shuddered, knowing what she had to do - to regain her memories, to return to the person she used to be. The person her mother would want her to be.

* * *

As Sul'ava finished, I sat up slowly and looked at the ground.

"What happened next?" I finally asked, looking at her. Her eyes were closed and her lips twitched, as if recalling painful memories once more.

"I... I'll tell you later," Sul'ava said at last. "I don't... it's hard. I've never told anyone this and..."

I turned towards her and hugged her tightly. It was instinctive.

I didn't care what she used to be or what had happened - it was good to know, but it only explained who she was now. It didn't change her. I kept my arms around her, hugging her tightly.

Eventually, she hugged me back. "Thank you, Takajit," she whispered.