FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Three children stand clustered in front of a house. Composed of a long-nosed witch, a gold-plated knight, and Spiderman™, the trio stare at the house with wide, frightened eyes. The house is gothic in appearance, with dark wooden panels covering its exterior and a castle-like quality to its structure. The lawn is overgrown and autumn leaves cover the roof, front porch, and driveway. Two trees stand tall in the front yard, their bare branches gently creaking in the breeze. The windows are dark and curtains are pulled behind them denying any outsiders a view of the interior. The only decorations are a few jack-o-lanterns on the porch, their faces carved into wide, cackling, toothy grins.

“You do it.” Says the knight, nudging spiderman.

“No. You go first, you’re the one wearing armor.”

“It’s made of plastic dummy.”

“You’re both chicken. It’s a house, just like the dozens of others we’ve visited today.” Declares the witch, smirking at the cowardly boys.

“Oh yeah? Then you go first.” Orders the knight.

The witch takes one confident step forward, pauses, then quickly steps back to the boys.

“W-Why don’t we all go together? Safety in numbers, or something.” She asks.

“No way.” Says spiderman, looking back up towards the house. “This place is way too spooky. And we don’t even know if there’s anyone home, or if they even have candy! I say we forget this one and move onto the next street.”

“But what if they have the really good stuff and no one else knows because they’re all too scared to walk up and ask? I think we should give it at least one solid try. Just one ring on the doorbell then scram if no one appears. In and out, really simple.” Offers the knight.

“I don’t know…” The witch trails off.

The trio look up at the house again, shivering as a cold October wind blows through their costumes. Racked with indecision, they stand in the middle of the sidewalk and silently ponder what to do. That is until a voice comes across the wind, sing songy and high pitched.

“Edmund? Where is my favorite froggy companion? Oh Edmund, with your emerald skin and amphibian kin I only wish to be your bestest friend! I’ll make you a pond with water and peat, and give you all the flies a frog could eat! Edmund, where are you?”

The trio watch as a figure most strange skips along the sidewalk towards them. Clothed in nothing but a rubber horse mask and a long black cloak she appeared to be a trick or treater like they were, if it weren’t for her adult height that is. The figure continues to sing, turning her head in all directions as she continues to search for Edmund, whoever that was. Eventually she comes up to the three children and stops, leaning down with curiosity.

“Oh, three costumed humanlings. Have you all seen a friend of mine? He’s named Edmund, covered in warts, likes flies, fits in the palm of your hand?”

The three kids pause, then shake their heads side to side in unison. The horse puts her hands on her hips with an annoyed huff, and continues.

“Dang! I’ve been looking all over this place for that slippery little fiend and I have yet to even see as much as a frogprint on the ground or a flash of his emerald skin. I’m afraid he may elude me until tomorrow, hopefully my sister has better luck than I, that old bear always did have a better nose than me.” Realizing her folly the doe puts her hands up in exasperation. “Uh-uh-uh I just meant that metaphorically! As in she’s…uhh…hairy like a bear. Ya, she’s really hairy, but not as much as an actual bear. Because she’s a human, like you all, and is definitely not covered in black fur, like a bear would be, if she were a bear, which she isn’t. Heh.”

The horse giggles nervously as the children stare at her, their faces blank.

“That’s gross.” Blurts out the witch.

“Ya, well, uhh, what are you three little humanlings doing out here on the sidewalk? Huh?” The doe nervously attempts to redirect the conversation.

“We’re thinking about whether or not we should try for candy at that creepy house.” Answers the knight, pointing to it. “It’s the last house on the block, and we went to every other house to make sure we’re getting as much candy as possible. But the thing is, well…” He trails off.

“But what?” The doe questions with a shrug.

“But it’s creeping us out, I mean just look at it!” Cries spiderman. “All the windows are covered up, the lawn’s unkempt, the exterior is rotting and the place looks like a serial killer lives in it or something. I’d say we have a twenty percent chance of making it back home if we set foot on the front porch, maybe thirty percent chance if we’re especially careful.”

“But they did leave pumpkins by the door and their porch lights on, and most houses that don’t want trick or treaters usually turn their lights off and take in their decorations. There’s a chance they could have candy. Maybe.” The witch adds, a distinct lack of confidence in her voice.

The horse looks to the kids, then the house, then back at the kids.

“Tell you all what, I think that that house has plenty of candy and we’re all going to get some. I’ll walk you all up to the porch myself, then we’ll see for certain if the creeps are worth the treats. What do you all say?”

The kids all look to one another and shrug.

“Okay, just as long as you promise to be the one to ring the doorbell.” Says spiderman.

The horse leans down, hands on her knees.

“On my mother’s grave, you have my word.”

The children look to one another again, whispering until finally nodding in agreement.

“Alright, let’s go. You lead the way.” Orders the knight.

The horse perks up and begins confidently strutting to the porch, the children following behind like a gaggle of ducklings. The horse eventually reaches the front door, looks behind to ensure the humanlings were in place, then rings the doorbell. An ominous low tone sounds through the interior of the house causing the children to flinch, then begins the wait to see if anyone was home. The four of them wait with bated breath, hearts racing as they peer in through the frosted glass windows flanking the door. After a few seconds a blurry figure appears and draws closer. The door opens and they’re treated to a balding middle-aged man in a wifebeater and sweatpants.

“Ya? What the heck do you weirdos want?” He greets them, leaning against the door with his arms crossed.

“Trick or treat.” Says the knight, holding his candy basket up to the man.

“Aw shit. Ya kids I ain’t got no fricking candy.” He curtly answers.

He can’t see it, but the horse scowls under her mask.

“No candy? It’s Halloween for crying out loud! You’re supposed to have candy for all the little costumed humanlings that show up at your door! And shame on you for cursing in front of their virgin ears.” The horse scolds him.

“Huma-whatlings? Listen lady, ya rabid looking broodmare, I ain’t made of money okay? I believe I did my part for the Halloween spirit when I spent what could have been a couple cases of blue ribbon on these pumpkins. Now take yourself and your little herd and scram.”

“Oh! Oh! I cannot believe you!” The horse screeches. “How dare you deny us our natural right to indulge on sugary sweets and chocolatey bars when the moon is full and the wind blows with unnatural spirits!”

“Unnatural spirits? The only spirits I know of are the ones chilling in my fridge. Ha!” The man laughs. “I already told you, I ain’t got no candy. So unless you want an old can of beans or some fries that fell between my couch cushions you’re shit out of luck horsey face. Now take your tin can man, your green faced crone, and your spiderdweeb and get off my dang porch.”

The man slams the door shut and the horse turns around in a rage, angrily stomping back to the sidewalk. The children follow close behind, their young faces plastered in defeat.

“…what does crone mean?” The witch asks the horse.

“It means, uhh, nothing. It doesn’t mean anything.” She quickly replies. “Now huddle up everyone, we’ve got to form a plan.” The four of them make a tight circle on the sidewalk, heads together.

“Plan? What plan? Lady we lost, the guy isn’t going to give us any candy.” Spiderman blurts out, empty of all hope.

“Ya, ya, I know that. I don’t think he was lying when he said he had none. However! There are some things we can do to get back at him! After all, when someone doesn’t give you candy it’s morally correct to prank them, in fact doing anything else would be considered unethical.”

“Really? Who told you that?”

“A wizard. Now listen closely. Do any of you live close to here?”

“I do.” Answers the witch.”

“Good. I need you to run home and bring back every roll of toilet paper you can without your parents noticing.”

“Got it.” The witch nods.

“Okay, now for my knight and my spider. I need you both to sneak onto his porch and steal a couple pumpkins from him.”

“Pumpkins? Why?” Questions the knight.

“Number one, I’m hungry, and number two I’m going to use the other one to scare him half to death, maybe even three quarters of the way to death if he’s the easily frightened type. You all know what to do. Now get a move on, before someone else walks up to his door!”

The four of them exit the huddle. The witch immediately runs off to retrieve the needed toilet paper while the knight and spiderman cautiously sneak back to the man’s house, walking as low to the ground as possible. They then creep up the rickety wooden porch and snatch up the two biggest pumpkins they can hold, running back to the horse with their prizes. Together, they move behind a nearby tree and wait for the witch to return.

The horse takes one of the jack-o-lanterns and opens its top, peering inside. She grins, then plunges a hand inside, scooping out a handful of orange innards.

“Oh yummy! He left quite a lot of the flesh left inside when he made this one.” The horse offers the two children a handful of seeds and slimy flesh. “Pumpkin guts, anyone?”

They immediately turn her down.

“Yuck, no way.”

“No thanks, horse lady.”

“Alright then, suit yourself.” The horse replies, stuffing a handful of pumpkin guts into her mouth. She chews them with a smile and moans happily. “This stuff is delicious, probably helps if you’re a herbivore though. Did you know you can make wine out of pumpkins? Not sure if you all make any around here, but where I come from it’s real popular. Spiced pumpkin wine, sweet pumpkin wine, old pumpkin wine, sparkling pumpkin wine, they make all sorts. Not that you all would know, perhaps when you’re older your parents will get you some. Have you ever had pumpkin pie? Or pumpkin cider? Oh it’s great stuff, reminds me of…”

The horse continues to babble and eat the pumpkin while waiting for the witch to return, her compatriots only halfway listening to her as they make a tally of what kind of candy they’ve gotten thus far. Mercifully, the witch soon returns with an armful of toilet paper.

“I got some! Now what are we going to do with it?” She asks.

The horse stops slurping the pumpkin innards and claps her hands joyfully.

“Ha-ha! You see those two trees in front of that false candy giver’s lawn?” She asks, pointing to the front of the house. “You’ll be throwing them up into their branches, turning his front lawn into a point of white streaked embarrassment.”

“But he’ll run us off if we try, there’s no cover out there.” Whines spiderman.

The horse cackles, turning to the one still intact jack-o-lantern.

“Don’t you worry little humanling, I’ve got just the thing to make a distraction. Oh yes, a distraction made of bursting seeds and fleshy shell I’ll make. It’ll be a grand spectacle, just you see.”

“And how are you going to make a distraction with a pumpkin? Throw it at him? That’s illegal, you could go to jail.” The knight refutes, a disbelieving tone in his voice.

“Don’t worry-don’t worry! I have something a little more elegant in mind than a crude throw. I just need to infuse this pumpkin with a bit of magic and our dastardly plan can begin.” The horse raises her hands and stares into the jack-o-lantern’s eyes as the children look on in curious anticipation. “By the moon’s pale touch and midnight’s vile gleam, awaken pumpkin, from your eternal dream! A soul of mischief and trickery will empower, until ending in a moisten orange shower! You’ll rise at the sight of a man most crude and advance with an ominous mood! An explosion of guts, a bursting of seeds, and you’ll satisfy our most vengeful needs. So sharpen your teeth, and widen your smile, because tonight you’ll play a role most vile.”

To the children’s amazement the flickering candle inside the pumpkin brightens into a steady orange burn and its smile seems to curl upwards slightly, a devilish cackle coming from somewhere within. The horse leaps up and grabs the pumpkin by the base, heaving it up with a labored grunt. She continues.

“It’s time for our revenge, little humans. When I start running off towards the house you all follow behind and begin throwing that toilet paper up into his trees. Then I’ll set the pumpkin on his porch and when he comes out to try and stop you he’ll be in for a surprise. Everyone understand?” The three children nod in agreement. “Good, now let’s go!”

Together they run across the sidewalk and onto the man’s front yard. The children begin throwing toilet paper into his trees while the horse moves to the porch and sets the pumpkin down, turning it so it faced the front door.”

As the children continue to ruin his trees the door swings open and the man storms out, an arm raised angrily in the air.

“Hey! You freaking kids stop putting that shit in my trees. You have any idea how long it’ll take to get out? I swear you masked little goons got no respect for your elders. I said quit it! Stop throwin’ that crap up there or I’ll-“ He moves forward onto the porch but stops as he sees the pumpkin staring at him. “Oh come on! Which one of you little gremlins touched my freaking pumpkin? I paid good drinking money for that thing!” Seeing its target, the pumpkin begins to rise in the air, stopping as it reaches eye level with the man. “That’s a, uhh, that’s a floating pumpkin right there. I don’t think they’re supposed to do that.” He mumbles in disbelief.

Without warning the pumpkin lets loose a wild laugh and streaks towards the man, exploding into an orange shower of pumpkin guts, seeds, and skin. The man stands still, still not entirely believing what he just saw.

“Huh. My pumpkin just laughed then exploded all over me. Yeah, I have been drinking way too much today. Or maybe not enough. I’m gonna…I'm gonna go lay down for a while. Get some rest. Wait for whatever the hell’s in my bloodstream to wear off.” He flatly states, walking back inside the house.

Seeing her victory the horse shouts at the kids, the trees now coated in several rolls worth of toilet paper.

“Ha-ha!” She cackles. “Our victory is made final! Quickly now, off his lawn, let’s regroup on the other side of the street!”

The four troublemakers sprint to the other side of the street and rest next to a tree.

“That was amazing!” Exclaims the witch. “The pumpkin actually exploded in his face!”

“Ya, and now it’ll take him hours for him to clean his trees up. Now he knows happens to people who don’t give out candy on Halloween.” The knight gloats.

“The kids at school are never going to believe us…” Spiderman whispers, looking at the remains of the pumpkin on the man’s front porch.

The horse puts her hands on her hips triumphantly.

“And with that, my work is done here. Good luck with the rest of your trick or treating little knight, spider-human, and witchling. I would very much like to join you and partake in tonight’s sugary festivities, but unfortunately I have a more urgent calling. I simply must find my beloved Edmund. I wish you well, but this doe’s got places to go!”

“Goodbye horse lady!” Yells the witch.

“Doe, but she’s a horse?” Says the knight, looking to his companions confusedly.

“Goodbye!” Says spiderman, waving.

And with that the horse skips along the sidewalk, yelling out pleas for her froggy friend to reveal himself. The kids aren’t entirely sure, but as the horse fades into the distance it almost sounds like she’s got hooves under that cloak of hers.

****************************************************************

*THWACK*

A wooden baseball bat impacts the headstone, the hardy granite failing to crack.

“Aww man, this fucking thing won’t budge!” Complains a young ne-er do well, a studded leather jacket on his back and his hair done up in a blue mohawk.

“It’s stone. Keep doing that and you’ll break your bat, dumbass.” Replies Billy, his similarly clothed but much calmer friend. Billy is lying in the back of a pickup truck next to his girlfriend. A projector is resting on the edge of a truck’s tail gate and facing towards the marble wall of a mausoleum. It’s playing a saucy horror movie, fake blood, bad acting, and bare tits galore.

“I’m gonna fuck this thing up! I am!”

“Chris can you keep it down! It’s date night and you’re disturbing our movie, fuck.” Billy yells, shifting into a quieter tone as he looks to his date. “I don’t know why I put up with him. All he ever does is break shit and drink my beer.”

The girl giggles and turns his face towards her.

“You put up with him because he’s my brother, and if you don’t treat me right, then he’s not going to treat you right. And Chris’ awful good with a bat, the last baseball season proves it.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s black mail. Why don’t you tell him to scamper off so we can have a little privacy in our outdoor theater here? We’re getting close to the good part.” He smirks, rubbing a hand up her thigh.

She giggles in response, but softly pushes his hand away.

“No, not yet, let’s wait for night to come. Then I’ll tell him to go pick us up some food or something.”

“Nighttime? Shit Cindy…” Billy looks around the cemetery, the place is a ghost town. “There’s nobody here, there’s fog all over the place, and it’s Halloween. You’ve never been such a tease before.”

“I am not being a tease!” She punches him in the shoulder. “I just want the, you know, mood to be right. With the fog, and the gravestones, and the full moon. Until then, you’re not getting none of this.”

She briefly pulls her shirt down exposing her tits, then quickly pulls it up with a cheeky smile. Billy looks to the setting sun and decides not to push it. It’ll be dark in five, ten minutes tops.

“Such a fucking tease.” He mutters, shaking his head.

Meanwhile, Cindy’s brother walks around the cemetery. He looks for a gravestone that’s old and cracked, one that his bat had a good chance of smashing into pebbles. He grins as he sees just what he wanted. Deep cracks all over, moss growing in all the crevices, faded text, and it’s already leaning over with age. He readies his bat as he reads the header.

“Well Mr. Lawrence O. Laury, took a hundred years but you’re going meet your maker a second fucking time.”

He swings the bat forward with all his strength, ash wood impacting the stone with a mighty crack. Yet at the same time the bat gives up the ghost, smashing itself into a shower of tiny splinters as he continues the swing. He flinches, looks at the half of the bat still remaining in his hand, then looks to the headstone. He made a chip in it, and a small one at that.

“Fucking…shit!” He throws the remaining bat into the cemetery in anger, yet as he does he notices movement in the corner of his eye. He squints, and makes out…an antler behind a gravestone? “Hey dipshit! I can see you.” He yells at the trespasser.

Slowly, a person rises from behind the headstone. They’re wearing a red dragon mask and a long black cloak. The figure puts her hands on her hips.

“And just what do you think you’re doing out here?”

“Just having some batting practice, what’s the big deal?” He laughs.

“By smashing gravestones? And putting moving pictures of scandalous bodies on the burial sites of the deceased?”

“Ya, you have a problem with that lady?”

“Hey, who the fuck is that?” Billy shouts over in a half whisper.

“Don’t worry, I have it taken care of bud.” Chris reassures him. “Hey lady! You know it’s not a good look to be messing around cemeteries in the dark you know, people might mistake you for a grave robber, so why don’t you just turn around and pretend you didn’t see anything. And we’ll, uhh, we’ll do the same for you.”

“And let you continue to harass the resting dead? I think not.” She declares, crossing her arms defiantly.

“Heh, heh-heh, then maybe I’ll just have to make you leave.” Chris replies, taking out a switchblade from his pocket.

Billy and Cindy lean up from the truck bed, spotting the knife in Chris’s hand.

“Chris you dumb retard, what are you doing?” Billy questions.

“Chris, quit being a jackass and put the knife down. We both know you aren’t supposed to have that after what happened with the last knife you got. Mom and dad are going to be pissed.” Cindy scolds him.

He looks over to Cindy.

“What our parents don’t know, won’t hurt them. So shut your mouth while I take care of this.” Chris begins to slowly advance towards the dragon woman, blade held by his side. “Dragon lady, I'm giving you every chance in the world, just fuck off and you won’t get hurt. You don’t want to mess up that costume, do you? Ruin your mask or break off that antler?”

“You are not breaking off my antler, scumbag. The one I lost I gave willingly. To get my other antler you’ll have to pry it off my cold, dead, body.” She replies, a deathly seriousness in her voice.

“Then I may just have to do that!” He shouts, breaking into a sprint towards the dragon with his blade held ready.

“Chris come back! You idiot!” Billy shouts.

“Chris come on, not in front of my boyfriend!” Cindy whines.

But he acts as if he doesn’t hear them. The knife wielding maniac rapidly closes the distance between him and his victim. The dragon woman stands behind the gravestone stoically, not even attempting to run away or dodge the inevitable strike. As Chris closes in he pulls the switchblade back for a swing, but at the same time he hears her mumble something under breath. Not that it matters, he was going to teach her a lesson she wouldn’t forge-

The dragon woman suddenly puts her hands up in front of her mask and a ball of flaming fire shoots forward! Chris’s eyes bulge out of his sockets as he sees the flaming projectile shoot towards him. He jukes to the side but it’s too late, the burning mass hits him square in the face as he tumbles to the ground. Slowly, he gets up and regains his bearings. His face is black with soot, his eyebrows are burnt off, and the tip of his mohawk burns with a steady flame. As the acrid smell of burning hair fills his nostrils he puts a hand up to his hair and his eyes go wide.

“I’m…I’m…I'm on fire! Ah! I'm on fire!” He screams into the night, rapidly patting his hair as he sprints off in a random direction.

“Chris! Chris I'm going to kick your fucking ass when I see you again! You ruined my date! Idiot!” Billy shouts in anger.

“Watch it!” Cindy sternly says, punching him in the shoulder again.

“Sorry. Get in the truck, let’s get the fuck out of here.”

They get into the truck’s cab and speed off into the fog, the projector that was on its tail gate falling to the ground in their hurry. When the roar of the engine faded into the night the dragon woman walks up to the still functioning projector and crushes it under her heavy clawed foot.

“Fireball, gets them every time.” Urmine says with a confident smirk. “I bet they were cultists, part of some local necrocult. Would explain why they were out in a cemetery so late. But the naked bodies emanating from this thing makes me wonder if it was a necropleasurecult instead.” Urmine ponders, idly kicking the broken projector. “Skull humping degenerates.” She spits. She then turns her head around, refocused on her original objective. “Edmund? My little froggy friend? Where you my little croaky companion?”

She makes it halfway through searching the immediate area before pausing. There’s a sound coming across the air, quiet, and faint, but at the same time it sounds like…croaking. Could it be? She walks towards the sound but stops and brings her ring up to her face. Gothetta’s hearing was always better than hers, if she could hear it then her sister likely could too. She rubs the ring and immediately has her answer. Gothetta is close and moving towards the sound while Henry is still in the center of town. With any luck she might be able to link up with Gothetta and help her catch the frog. After all, two witches are better than one.

*******************************************************

Henry shambles up to a bench and sits down with an annoyed groan. He searched the entire center of town from top to bottom and still no sign of Edmund. He tried the park, every shop on mainstreet, the back alleyways, the school, parking lots, all to no avail. Not a single frog print or hint of green skin. He rolls his head back and sighs. Doing this normally would be annoying, but doing it in a wizard costume was just downright humiliating. Still, it’s not like he was alone in his search. Henry brings his wedding ring up and rubs the pulsating diamond in the center.

Urmine is indoors and…in someone’s house! And Gothetta’s right there with her! Henry leaps up and immediately begins sprinting towards their location. This was not good, not good at all! Had they broken in? Did someone invite them? Did they try to go trick or treating and got confused on how it works? Are they trapped? Are the cops there yet? So many questions!

Henry feels his lungs begin to burn as he comes up on the house that they’re currently residing in. It looks just like any other he’s seen. Two stories, white siding, a neat lawn. It’s utterly typical. So why did the sisters decide that Edmund would be in this house in particular? Henry slows to a casual walking pace and moves to the front of the house. The front door is closed and likely locked, the windows are all shut, it doesn’t look like they broke in. So maybe they entered from the back?

Henry walks to the side of the house and sees that it does have a fenced in backyard. Maybe that’s how they got in? With no other leads he casually walks around the side of the house and leans up against the fence, standing on his tippy toes to gain sight into the back yard. There’s a garden there, and a patio, and…red melons? What? Henry looks closer and sees the distinctive footprints of a bear and a doe in the soft dirt, they must have scaled the fence and landed in the garden then entered the house through the back entrance. Damn them, what were they thinking!

With a grunt Henry jumps up and hauls himself over the other side of the fence. He lands with a thud and sneaks over to the rear of the house and onto the patio. The back door is open and a few dirty footprints lead into the house, one is from a pair of bear like feet and the other from a couple dainty hooves. Oh yeah, this is definitely where the sisters entered. With a hesitant step he enters the house and begins searching for the sisters. What would he say if someone found him in their house? This is breaking and entering, he could be arrested! Maybe, he, uhh, got lost? He’s looking for a rabid bear that threatens the neighborhood? Maybe the insanity plea could work?

No, he needs to stay focused. He takes a deep breath and steels his nerves.

“Gothetta? Urmine?” He weakly shouts into its empty halls.

Surprisingly, he gets a response almost immediately.

“We’re in here Henry.” Sounds Gothetta, her voice calm.

Confused, Henry makes his way towards her voice and into the dining room of the house. Sitting at the head of the dining table is a middle-aged man he’s never seen before with the unmasked sisters on either side of him. Before Henry has a chance to say anything the middle-aged man leans back in his seat, crossing his arms.

“Ah, so this is my son-in-law, the wizard. Why don’t you take a seat? We have a lot to talk about."