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Supervillains & Their Needs

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Written by Arian Mabe (Amethyst Mare)

Commissioned by anonymous

_ _

“Yikes!"

Harley Quinn jolted as she was launched through the air – but not really, no, just through time and space and all that crazy stuff. Other supervillains were capable of so much more than even Harley Quinn knew existed, but she didn't need to have any special powers of her own to get by in the world.

However, things may well have gone a teensy-weensy bit wrong after teaming up with another group to get one over on the silly Justice League again. She didn't know what their problem was with her, for they were always getting in the way of her pranks and fun. Going up against several of the most powerful members of the Justice League, however, including Superman, Zatanna and Wonder Woman, wasn't the kind of game Harley was going to have any fun at all playing.

But she wasn't expecting to be transported away either by Enchantress, the entire team barely even managing to escape into one of her secret bases.

“Oof!"

Harley landed heavily, rubbing her backside, while the others gathered their bearings too. It had hardly been a soft landing for her and Enchantress groaned, pressing her fingers to her temples.

“Confound it," she grumbled, her voice rough as if she was unwell. “I hardly had any time to properly form the spell!"

“Wait – what?"

Harley blinked up at her, standing slowly. All her limbs still seemed to work, which was something. Dressed in her usual black and red outfit, including the corset and vest-top, she at least was all still in one piece. Her bat, however, didn't seem to have made it along with her.

Aw, rats…

_ _

Enchantress groaned, standing taller and seeming to survey everyone she'd managed to bring with her. To Harley's eye, everyone seemed to be there: Lady Blaze, Talia al Ghul, Superwoman, Poison Ivy, Catwoman, Isis and, of course, Enchantress herself. Harley too – but she was already the most important one there and no one with half a brain would ever think to leave her behind, she was sure about that.

“Do you mean this is not one of your secret bases?" Catwoman asked, straightening her outfit while she surveyed their surroundings. “I thought you had them…in many dimensions."

Harley smirked. Catty-cat-cat wasn't as used to being zapped all over the place as she was. She hoped, at least, that Catwoman wasn't going to puke.

“No… I'm afraid it is not," Enchantress said with a grimace. “Unfortunately…I don't think even I know where we are, what dimension we're even in. This land is not familiar to me at all."

She took a breath and Harley Quinn took a moment to look around properly. It was fortunate that they had not landed somewhere that they were about to be attacked, which was why she had taken a moment to take stock of her own body from the get-go. If she'd had to move quickly, well, she could have done that. But Harley wasn't about to waste precious energy when she didn't have to.

It was dry and rocky, seeming around midday – or later? It was hard to say when the suns of some of those dimensions were often in different places in the sky than what Harley was used to. Days and nights didn't work the same in other dimensions either and trying to guess was as much good to Harley as dating her Pudding had been.

Damn, a girl really had to get out there to get herself a good man! Though Harley said she didn't need a man either, not when she had her “girls" with her. She'd likely betray most of them in an instant, but they were still her “girls."

There were a lot of changes to be had in Harley's life, yet many of those still lay ahead of her.

With them being stuck in a dimension unknown to Enchantress, there was little they could do, apparently, to leave. Enchantress tipped her head and rolled her shoulders and did all sorts of crazy, wavy things with her arms – hey, Harley didn't know how her powers worked! – but nothing got them the heck out of there.

“We shall set up a base," Lady Blaze said, dressed in what Harley thought of as her sexy outfit: the purple cloth that strung up over her breasts and down between her legs, barely even covering anything at all. “Follow me."

Although the others, especially Talia al Ghul and Superwoman, muttered under their breath, they still complied. Someone had to take a vague lead or else they would all turn on one another, fighting until they combusted internally. The resulting explosion may have been as fantastic as a fireworks show to Harley – nothing like seeing things go BOOM! – but perhaps not the wisest thing to do when they were all so far from home.

She skipped along, helping to make the base, though the others seemed to be much quicker at it than Harley. That didn't matter to her as they set up near a rocky outcrop that would at least shelter them from any elements that may come their way. They still needed to explore the landscape as the light took on a strange quality, as if it was falling near Twilight. Not even Enchantress, giving up on trying to raise a spell to get them out of the dimension for the time being, understood quite what “time" of day it was.

Maybe the dimension didn't even have time. That would be crazy, even to Harley Quinn.

“Hm…"

While they finished up, she glanced back, marking her path by memory. There was no sense in hanging around when all the others had everything in hand. They didn't need her there and that didn't bother Harley in the slightest. Who needed to be good at lighting a campfire?

She could better figure out a plan of some kind, however, when she was moving – and they couldn't do anything, at least in Harley's mind, without some kind of idea as to where they were. She set off in a random direction, which turned out to be east – if suns set in the east there. There were three in the sky and one seemed to be going in a pretty weird direction.

“Eh… Probably won't think about that one all that much, hey?"

She laughed to herself, a hop in her step. She could have been bothered about being somewhere so far from home, but, really, it wasn't the weirdest thing that'd happened to her, not even in the last week.

It was a strange dimension, kind of like a desert, but not really. Her boots sank into the softer sand as she stepped out, though she had enough grip on it not to slip all over the place. A large mesa in the distance caught her eye and she took step after step towards it, though it seemed to take a very long time to grow any closer to her. There wasn't much vegetation there, dry and deprived of any form of moisture, though the few small plants there were stunted and close to the ground. It was as if they needed to sink their roots very deep just to find any sustenance out there in the arid environment.

But if she could get to the top of the mesa, it could let her get a better vantage point. Getting up high was one thing Harley Quinn was good at, however.

“Hm…"

She cocked her head, pigtails bobbing, as she eyed up some triangular rocks. They were taller than her – some of them – and stuck out of the ground like arrowheads. She wouldn't have used arrows herself, but she knew some that did. It was as if they had sprouted naturally from the ground, but rocks on Earth didn't do that. She didn't know if rocks there did, for how was she supposed to speculate about a thing like that.

A soft thud to her right had her turning her head and raising her eyebrow. Enchantress and Isis stood next to her, though hadn't got to know Isis, who was an Egyptian superhero (in the words of others) very much before. Isis was dressed in very little, reminding her of Lady Blaze, though her white skirt was framed by a large, golden belt with a big buckle right in the middle. Her top was made up in the Egyptian style (or so Harley supposed) and attached to a chunky loop of gold that went around her neck. She would have called it jewellery if she'd been describing something for herself, but it was definitely a part of her top. Her long, dark hair seemed in need of a brush, though Harley couldn't blame her for that, considering the transporter-spell thing they'd been sucked through. It was kind of a whirlwind when one wasn't expecting it.

“Hey, guys," she chirped, bouncing up happily on to the balls of her feet. “What's up? Isis, you gonna actually say anything this time?"

Isis blinked at her, not taken aback but not completely comfortable there in the moment either.

“Ah… I was not aware you were in pursuit of that," she said, varying from her norm with a light yet stilted nature to her tone. “It is a peculiar group that has been put together here."

“I'll say!" Harley laughed and tossed her hair. “You got Kitty-cat, that's Catwoman, Poison Ivy's always working on some plants and getting high… I'm cool with the rest of them, though Superwoman, yeah… She's kind of an acquired taste. Some like her, some don't. A lot don't!"

She laughed again and Isis surveyed her, seeming to be attempting to take Harley's measure. Better women than her had tried.

“So, why are you here?" Harley asked, after having given more information about the rest of the group than, honestly, she should have supplied to the newcomer. “What's going on? Ya scared me! Did you need me for something?"

Her nose wrinkled and scrunched up, not liking the idea. Okay, it was good to be wanted but as soon as someone needed her that came with all kinds of stress and obligations. Who needed that? She didn't want to have to do anything for anyone other than herself. Several hard lessons, after all, had been learned in her time.

“Ah, my apologies," Isis said, having the grace to appear apologetic. “We were flying, higher up, to get an idea of how the land lay here. I wanted to merely introduce myself since we had not been introduced, person to person, before."

“Oh, is that all?" Harley grinned, flashing a very white smile and tipping forward as she offered her hand to Isis. “Name's Harley Quinn, you should know who I am, nice to meet ya! I'm not always in this group, but I join for fun and kicks sometimes. Depends what the gals are up to!"

She laughed, rocking back on her heels the moment Isis released her hand. Isis looked at her as if not sure how to take her words. That didn't bother Harley, however. She got that a lot from people.

“I am Isis. I am…new to these parts," Isis said, taking more agency in explaining herself. “I have been working more closely, of late, with Talia and Enchantress."

As if Harley Quinn needed to know who Enchantress was, Isis gestured to her. Harley giggled behind her lips, cheeks rippling and puffing out softly with her mirth.

“Yeah, I can see that," she quipped, no malice behind her words. “What for? What's caught your eye over here then?"

It probably wasn't anything she was going to be interested in, but Harley Quinn absorbed information. She rarely spat it back out, though it was something to get people talking. Sometimes they even said things that were useful to her.

“Of course," Isis said, nodding more solemnly. “I am seeking to save the amulets of Ra from falling into the hands of the Justice League. They lay claims that the amulets are dangerous artefacts, but they are a part of my culture and belong to my people and my people alone."

Her eyes seemed to glow, narrowing ever so slightly with deadly intent.

“I will not stop until they are returned."

“Ah, sure thing, I get that," Harley said. “The Justice League… Ack, they're so pesky! I mean, a couple of them are fun, sometimes, but altogether they're just sooooo serious and always sticking their noses into other people's business."

Harley Quinn shook her head, though a frown never lingered for a long on her lips. Yet it was at that moment that her heavy bladder twinged, reminding her she had not relieved herself in a while. They'd got so caught up in the fight against the Justice League that the notion of taking care of her bodily needs simply had not crossed her mind.

“Hm – time for a pee break!"

Without any duress or ceremony, or even any warning, she yanked down her pants right in front of them, crouching in the sand. It wasn't a bother to her and she hummed under her breath as she settled her weight more comfortably there. It was fortunate for her she was as flexible as she was, for the position didn't put any strain on her limbs at all. Considering the number of scraps Harley got caught up in, it was amazing she was as limber as she was!

“Ah… We should also take care of that," Enchantress said, looking away even though she was not all that bothered by Harley's antics. “Before we go any further. There is much more of the area to explore while I recover my strength. Hopefully then, I'll be able to cast a spell to get us out of here."

Isis nodded and agreed, though Harley paid little attention to them. It often seemed like she was the one leading the way when it came to urination and defecating, but it made sense, especially back in Gotham City, that she knew where all the best spots to go to the bathroom were. No one wanted to use the nasty public bathrooms around there anyway! Where Batman was off fighting what he thought was crime, the real crime was the state most left those toilets in.

She didn't worry about it, however, as she urinated, breathing a soft sigh of relief. Her urine spattered into the sand, lingering in a bubble of liquid on the surface before it sank into and between the light grains. She glanced down, not really caring beyond not wanting to get any splashing back up on herself.

Dimly, she was aware of Isis doing the same, not too far away, but she was too busy pushing down to finish urinating. After all, she had to keep straining a little to make sure every last drop of pee was out of her bladder. Otherwise, how else was she supposed to make sure everything down there was healthy? A girl knew it wasn't good to keep anything inside like that.

However, Harley didn't quite expect to feel the push of something easing from her backside too. It seemed that she'd needed to go number two as well as number one that time as the start of a thick log of waste began to push from her. It was funny how the muscles for relieving herself, down there, were so similar. Sometimes she couldn't do one without doing the other!

It was hard, however, and she grunted as she bore down on it to push it out. She couldn't exactly stay there, after all, out in the desert with half a log hanging from her bottom.

“Oof…"

She let out a soft sound, not caring who heard her. In fact, the thought that defecating around others could be seen as embarrassing did not even cross her mind, although she'd seen others be a lot shyer about it before. In Harley's case, her poop played a big part in her pranks – so why should she ever be embarrassed about something that was purely a natural bodily function?

No one should be embarrassed by it, no, not her. She grunted and shook her head slightly, trying to ease out the tension in her neck.

“Damn, this one is really a doozy…"

She'd picked that word up from somewhere and had to admit she rather liked it. It was a fun word to use and she should say it more often! But it was hard to laugh about something like that as she pushed down as hard as she could on the log, grinding out her poop with as much effort as she felt she was able to put into the act. It slid too slowly from her body as if it was trying to remain inside her, stretching her uncomfortably as it ground out. At least that one hadn't made her stomach gurgle uncomfortable, which was, at the very least, something.

Harley grunted again and muttered under her breath.

“Uh, this one really is troublesome, can't you give a girl a break, huh?"

She wasn't really talking to anyone other than herself as she pushed and pushed, rocking her hips back and forth lightly as if that was going to help her in the slightest. Glancing over to the others, she tried to see if they'd finished, but, to Harley's surprise, Isis had already pushed out a fifteen-inch poop, a ten-inch poop and what looked like an eight-inch poop too. Of course, Harley was only guessing at the sizes, though they were quite thick around and rather dark too.

How did she do that so quickly? Harley thought. And quietly too! Damn, girl!

_ _

She didn't say anything aloud that time, for she needed to work on her own poop and that was one instance where she did actually need to focus. Harley sighed and half closed her eyes, but ignoring what was going on wasn't going to help her all that much there. The rustle of clothes told her that Enchantress was getting dressed, perhaps already done with what she needed to do. Enchantress was often very efficient also, seemingly in and out with going to the bathroom as if it was nothing at all to her.

Isis was just out of her natural line of sight and Harley couldn't help herself from looking at her, a little distracted as she worked on her poop. Straining was all well and good, but Isis was visible if she just turned her head a little to the right. Even though it looked like Isis should already have been done with her bowel movement, she squatted there quite comfortably as she worked on another poop, pushing it out smoothly.

The long log of waste moved smoothly towards the ground as if it was mocking Harley, though even Harley Quinn knew that wasn't possible. As Isis wore a skirt, all she'd had to remove was her underwear and she wasn't nearly as exposed as Harley was. However, Harley didn't consider having her bare butt out a problem in the slightest as she rolled her eyes at how neatly Isis had laid her underwear on the ground. They were white, just like her outfit. Harley's were red and black with little diamonds on them, though she had considered choosing underwear with hearts back when she'd been taken.

That's kind of clever of her to stay covered up like that, Harley thought. Even if she doesn't need to be so silly about putting everything so neat and tidy, like… We're all the same here!

_ _

Harley didn't have any agency over Isis and what she did or did not do, however, as she finally grunted faintly and deposited a twenty-one-inch log of poop to the ground. Harley's lips parted and she eyed it up speculatively as it was much larger than she honestly felt she was able to produce – in spite of her best efforts, of course. It was as thick around as a can of coke, yet so straight still. She hadn't even noticed Isis moving or shuffling forward while she'd been pooping. Was that a part of her powers? Pooping in a straight line?

Nah, that didn't make sense, she decided a moment later. It was tipped up on top of the pile of three other poops underneath her already, as if it was the crowning achievement of her pooping. It stuck up at a funny angle and was clearly hard enough to easily hold its shape in such a position.

It took only a few moments longer, which passed in the blink of an eye, for her to excrete another two poops on top of the pile. One was seventeen inches and the second was smaller, though still respectable, at fourteen inches long. They were thinner, much thinner, almost like pencils – which stood out in stark comparison to the rest of her sizeable, rather chunky pile.

“Mm."

Isis made a small sound, perhaps of increased comfort, as she repositioned herself a little, coming up slightly out of her deep squat and then settling back down again. Harley perhaps should not have stared as openly as she was, considering that she didn't know Isis all that well, not yet, but she'd never been one for social conventions like that. She just didn't care all that much what anyone thought about her, but she made sure she crossed their minds from time to time.

Everyone should have been thinking about her. And, if they weren't, a well-timed prank or two would certainly put Harley Quinn well enough back on their radar!

After Isis adjusted her stance a little, she raised her hips a little, as if she was anticipating another poop coming that was bigger than all the rest. She still, somehow, had more to come and Harley would have whistled under her breath if she was not still straining around her own poop. That took every gasp of breath she had in her lungs just to keep working on!

Isis, on the other hand, didn't seem to have any trouble at all working out another thick poop that was the largest of them all. The bigger the poops were, the more difficult they were for Harley to judge the length of, but she had to say that one must have been over two feet long at the very least. It was softer as it broke a little with a light sort of “splat" when it hit the top of the pile, ejected from her body at a rapid pace.

Harley wished hers were like that. As much as she always wanted to poop out the biggest logs and the most too, she just wasn't as capable of doing so as some of the enhanced supervillains. They, after all, ate a lot more too, so they could keep up their energy. If Harley ate as much as some of them, it would have gone straight to her hips and thighs.

(Which would have been a good look on her, she wasn't going to lie – but wasn't going to help her at all with her acrobatics and the like.)

“Damn, it's like she's trying to get one over on me."

Harley muttered that under her breath, too quietly for Isis to hear her. It was not that she was trying to be particularly quiet about things, but she didn't want to make a big deal about it either.

She'd beat Isis at her little pooping games another time, since she now knew the lay of the land.

Isis, however, was still not done after that two-foot-long log of waste. The final one turned out to be a lot harder and more compact at seven inches long.

It took the longest for Isis to push out and Harley's eyebrows shot up as it eased its way out. It almost seemed like it took longer than every last one of Isis' poops all together, though that was probably Harley exaggerating things a little in her own mind.

Ugh, how is she able to finish so quickly? I want to do that!

_ _

Harley's lips twitched in a grin, for she didn't actually feel anything bad towards Isis, not at all. Isis couldn't help that she excreted swiftly and, frankly, that was probably better for her too. Harley, however, eyed up the seven-inch poop as it hit the pile and rolled off, a few of the hard chunks breaking off.

“Oof…"

Harley grunted, still working at her incredibly stubborn poop. If only she could finish as quickly as Isis when she was still only roughly halfway done with her log! That would have helped a lot if she had been able to poop like that, but it wasn't exactly something even Harley could control.

Finally, she worked out the last couple of inches of the hard poop, gasping as it finally left her backside. However, her body released gas at the same time in a loud, rippling fart that cut through the air. In the otherwise open environment, there was nothing at all to muffle the sound, though Harley didn't consider the act to be all that embarrassing.

“Ah, shit!"

That didn't mean she didn't want to curse as the fart left her, rolling her eyes. It was loud and obnoxious and kind of like her. Though the whole act of taking that long to simply poop was annoying in itself. If things had happened a lot more swiftly, like normal, for her, she wouldn't have been as frustrated as she felt.

She sighed but, at the very least, was finished at long last. Cleaning herself off quickly and pulling up her pants, she tugged her costume back into place, making sure she looked exactly as she wanted to. Even the small hairs at the nape of her neck were a little damp and sticky with sweat, telling the tale of the sheer exertion she'd had to force her body through just to go to the bathroom that time.

She couldn't stop herself – and had no reason to – from glancing over to Isis again. Isis had got up completely and was busy examining one of the big rock formations, the ones shaped like arrow tips, pressing her finger to it. The fact that her underwear was no longer on the ground told the tale of her putting it back on, at least.

Like with anything Isis did, apparently, she was quick and efficient. Except maybe with that last poop, but Harley could forgive her that one.

Harley checked her own poop over, though couldn't be pleased at all with her offerings. Even though she had excreted a respectably large bowel movement, it was only the one. It was roughly nineteen inches long and quite thick around, for her standards, but it was nothing in comparison to the mound of poop Isis had produced.

Her poop was a medium-brown shade whereas Isis', even the softest one, was a lot darker, speaking of her diet. Not that Harley was bothered by that, but she was used to checking her own poop for health reasons, making sure everything was in order. Considering her easy diet and all the activity she did, it was one of the easiest ways to make sure everything was running smoothly inside her.

Enchantress too had left a single log of poop like Harley, yet it was huge. There was no other word for it, but the log was easily three feet long, even if she couldn't find a way to measure it to find out the exact length (she would have liked to know, personally).

The consistency of that long poop changed along the full length, however, starting out quite firm and with a speckling of crackling around the girth of it. It even broke apart a couple of times, right at the beginning, which was obvious to her in how it was laid out in a gentle S-shaped curve on the ground.

Harley shook her head at it, folding her arms across her chest as she huffed and rolled her eyes subtly. They were always besting her at her self-proclaimed pooping game and that wasn't helped by how Harley raked her gaze down the rest of the log of poop, eyeing up how the thick round of it in the middle was softer and flatter where it rested on the ground. The far end, what had come from Enchantress' body last, was thin and narrow, however, as if there had not been all that much left inside her when she had worked to push that bit out from her body.

Isis shared a look with Enchantress, though Harley did not pause to comment on it. Putting her hands on her hips, she let out an exaggerated groan, rocking back on her heels and looking up at the sky. There was no one there, however, who was going to help her out.

“Ugh… I'm always getting one-upped by you guys!" She said, pouting and pushing out her lips sulkily while Enchantress seemed to stifle the urge to roll her eyes back at Harley. “Next time, you've gotta give a girl some warning. I'm gonna have to eat wayyyyyyy more than you, so I can actually compete properly!"

Enchantress sighed and pushed her weight back a little, for Harley had a habit of getting up in her face.

“And you beat me by a mile!" She almost shouted, not realising Enchantress was trying to put space between them. “Isis… How did you even poop that much? I couldn't stand a chance, like, at all, when you've got a massive pile like that!"

Harley groaned and spun about, throwing her hands up in the air, defeat lining her body. It was not a defeat that meant anything, fortunately for her, and Enchantress smiled faintly.

Isis glanced back and forth as if she didn't understand what was going on but, really, only someone who knew Harley got the intricacies of her. Even then, there were very few that understood her all the time.

She liked being an enigma. Though some said she wasn't all there in her head too. There was no sense, at least to Harley Quinn, in being completely sane.

Isis shook her head at Harley Quinn, but it didn't seem that Enchantress was about to clarify anything to her, at least not in that moment.

“You really are a very strange person, Harley," she said. “I could have been forewarned about this."

Enchantress grinned.

“That would take all the fun out of it," Enchantress quipped, though there was no harm in what she said – and it was good to see her being a little more light-hearted, despite the situation. “But she is strange, as you put it."

“See!" Harley clapped her hands together, then pointed at Isis. “Finally, someone who gets me!"

She launched herself at Isis, even though they were really not that familiar with one another, and wrapped her arms around her. It was a bit on the tight side to merely be called a friendly hug, though her enthusiasm there was unparalleled. Isis hugged her back, though merely folded her arms around Harley as if she was not all that sure what was going on. She couldn't be blamed for that.

From Harley's perspective, however, she was just glad to have someone on the same mental page as her. Not that she'd read a book in years, but the sentiment was there and what not.

Isis carefully extricated herself from the hug, picking Harley's arms away from her body as if she was prying her off.

“So…" Isis said. “Where should we go next? You were looking for something out here, weren't you?"

Harley shrugged.

“Just seeing what the area was like, you know how it is. You have to scope out your bearings and things are a little different for me out here when there are no big buildings for me to scale. So, I was going towards that, to get a good view of the area."

She pointed to the mesa in the distance, though it was a little closer to them than it had been when she'd first started out. The walk, however, was going to be longer for Harley than she'd anticipated. She could flip and duck and spin through the air, but things like walking distances always had thwarted her.

“That sounds like a good idea," Enchantress said, as if she was surprised Harley had been the one to think of it. “Let's continue."

Together, the strange group of three supervillains headed onward, but Harley may well have needed a lift to the top of the mesa from those who could fly when they arrived there at last. It was good to have friends who could fly!

Catwoman's perspective (Selina)

_ _

“Ah…"

Selina shivered as the portal tickled her skin, feeling like a million creepy-crawlies dancing all over her. Not that she would have ever said something like that aloud, though it called her back to her childhood when bugs and the like had been far from her favourite things. Stepping through magic left a residue too and she stifled a sneeze, scrunching up her nose.

Enchantress had made a portal for them to step through to the oasis that Harley and Isis, strangely enough, had found, which was at least a better place to rest than the rocky outcrop. The water flowed coolly in an expansive pool, the far side of which was obscured by trees as the shore extended out into it a little. It made it so there were some parts of the pool that were more private than others, yet there had never been all that much of a need for privacy amongst the supervillains. They'd all seen one another in various stages of undress at different times.

But it would be good to wash herself off of all the sand and grit too, along with being able to drink cool, fresh water. Several feeds appeared to feed the main body of water and the rippling surface appeared quite inviting to her in such a grubby state. Even her outfit, clinging tightly to her body, was in a state of disrepair and in terrible need of a wash. Without a change of clothes, it was not as if she'd been able to make sure she was clean and fresh as she usually did after an outing, whatever that entailed.

Some trees overhung the water with their branches cast down towards it, giving it an exotic feel. Some of the foliage, however, had spikier leaves that appeared less inviting and Selina made a mental note to make sure she gave those a wide berth.

A few creatures that appeared something like a cross between lizards and dinosaurs, their heads larger than expected and swapping between quadrupedal and bipedal stances, scurried away through the undergrowth. At least the water meant there was shade and softness there, but there were plenty of other smaller creatures taking advantage of it too. Selina was sure she'd seen a snake with a scythe-like tail slither away into the bushes and shivered. Who knew what venom they could inject from their fangs? As ever, in a strange world, they had to take great care.

Most of the smaller creatures, however, darted away before them and gave them a wide berth, so no one needed to worry about getting too close to something that could be dangerous. Thick, tall grass surrounded the oasis for a span beyond the trees and bushes, but stopped where the roots could no longer draw sufficient moisture from the ground. The tiny patch of paradise in the arid environment was welcomed by many more than just the supervillains who'd got themselves stuck there.

She curled her toes, aching to get her boots off, as she walked through the sand towards the water, feeling how it shifted over her footwear. It had to come off, however, and she slowly peeled herself out of the outfit, the skin-tight black costume coming away from her skin with great difficulty. It stuck to her with sweat and other things Selina didn't want to think about, though it helped at least that the footwear and gloves were not a fixed part of the otherwise full body catsuit. A slice across her chest, exposing her collarbones but concealing her neck, helped keep her cool and maintain her flexibility also where necessary. Her mask had come off pretty early on, though she'd kept it with her.

As she revealed her bare, pale skin, she laid out her outfit on a rock close to the water before working on her underwear. As she was sliding out of her panties and unhooking her bra, one at a time, however, she caught sight of Harley doing typical Harley Quinn things out in the water. Selina, however, didn't blame her for letting off steam as she splashed and laughed, kicking up water as she sank deeper, up to chest height in the pool. Her clothes, of course, were scattered on the sand as carelessly as ever, as if Harley didn't mind whether she actually had clean clothes to redress again in or not. Knowing Harley, if it had been acceptable, she most likely would have gone about naked most of the time and not spared a single second thought to it. It just wasn't something that concerned her at all.

The relationship between Harley and Ivy, however, could no longer be denied even though Poison Ivy had avoided answering the question when Selina had put it to her. Whether they were dating exclusively or just had a thing for each other was up for debate, but Selina thought she might be able to get a little more information from Harley if she was bold enough to pry. They were quite a good fit for each other, to be fair, and it was much better for Harley to be in a relationship like that than the abusive claws of the Joker. Selina refused to even consider that a relationship, considering the state it had left Harley in.

At least Poison Ivy had a sensible head on her shoulders, most of the time, and perhaps could balance out Harley a little. Selina could only hope. She'd keep an eye on them both from the sidelines, whenever they managed to get themselves back to Gotham City, but she was sure they would treat each other well, regardless. It wasn't something to be all that concerned about. Harley definitely seemed to have converted into being an out and proud lesbian, however, and had taken a while to come to an understanding about her own sexuality.

Selina was glad she'd found herself at least.

Selina slipped into the water and sighed as it lapped up her thighs, even if she was ever so slightly still embarrassed about being openly naked. She preferred to be swimming, if she had to be nude around them, or perhaps doing something to distract her mind. Things like sunbathing and lying out with no clothes on were not for her, not usually. Isis half-turned away from them as the others undressed and slipped into the pool, although she seemed to become a little more comfortable quite quickly with the idea of baring it all.

Selina ducked under the water once she was waist-deep, though really just wanted to wash out her hair first of all. A stream of sand and gunk flowed from her as she resurfaced, sweeping the sodden strands back from her face as she made a face and grunted throatily.

“Ugh…"

“It's a lot to get clean from, isn't it?" Superwoman said with a grimace, rubbing vigorously at a muscled arm, as if she was trying to even clean off her own skin from her body. “Ugh… Get me back to a planet with some form of civilisation!"

Harley bobbed up beside superwoman and splashed her, ignoring Superwoman's withering stare.

“Aw, you want to take over a planet again, rule and dominate them?" Harley teased, though she could have been being serious too. “That sounds like a regular ol' Tuesday for you!"

Superwoman grumbled something that Selina missed as Harley spread out amongst them, typically causing chaos, as was her way. Selina didn't miss that Poison Ivy kept a much closer eye on her than usual, though it did not look like Harley was attached to her at the hip or anything either. Props to them for enjoying a somewhat healthy relationship: they both must have needed it.

Harley stood tall and eyed up the others shrewdly, her blonde hair plastered to her scalp and half covering one eye. It was as if she didn't even notice it was getting in her way.

“Wow, you guys are really putting me to shame over here!" She said. “Look at how big your boobs are!"

Lady Blaze gave a sigh and shook her head, but didn't press her lips into that thin, dangerous line that promised trouble. That was, at the very least, an improvement for her, although Selina gave her a healthy amount of space and respect. They were all dangerous, in their own way.

Harley swung her head obviously back and forth, as if she couldn't actually change what she was looking unless she moved her entire head and upper body. She made a show of staring at Ivy's breasts again and Ivy rolled her eyes, giving her a gentle push away. That wouldn't put Harley off and Selina snickered under her breath as Harley danced around her, copping a feel quickly. She wouldn't usually get away with something like that, but, clearly, Ivy was willing to let it slide.

Ivy's breasts, however, were full and heavy, definitely among the biggest of the bunch there. Selina didn't mind admitting that at all, considering it wasn't a competition. Harley seemed set on making it a competition, on the other hand, and Selina eyed up the sway of Ivy's tits again. They really did have a nice weight to them, heavy enough that Poison Ivy's nipples pointe down slightly.

“Look," Harley pressed on, not noticing the flicker of tension, which was more like annoyance to those who were more familiar with her antics. “If you put you three together… Blaze, Ivy and Talia too… Yeah! Talia, you've got the biggest set of knockers here! Wow!"

Talia rolled her eyes and tipped her head back slightly, but otherwise didn't react. Harley wasn't going to have that, however, and Selina was at least glad she wasn't caught up in that one as Harley splashed between the three she'd pointed out, getting all up in their faces – or, in that case, their chests.

She got up close and personal with Talia al Ghul, even though Talia shot her a look. Most of them tried to ignore Harley a lot of the time – and she'd been getting on their nerves more than a lot during their time stuck in that dimension. Everyone's nerves were fraying, yet they were more amenable with each other after tackling so many missions with each other. Even Isis seemed to fit into the group well.

Talia's breasts, however, were quite large – and not even Selina could deny that. They rounded out from her body and it was no wonder she'd attracted Harley's attention. They were a slightly lighter shade than the rest of her body, what would have been exposed to the sunshine more often than not, as if she had tanned a little more elsewhere. After they'd had some time, before, tanning topless and bottomless, Selina was a little surprised to see that.

In short, Talia's breasts, as Harley had put it, really put the rest of them to shame. Although that was not enough for Harley, even as Talia blushed a hit, heat crawling down her neck. Talia had little shame or embarrassment, but even Selina sympathised with her. Harley ogling anyone was embarrassing enough and Selina was merely glad it wasn't her facing Harley's more intense scrutiny. Not that she escaped it, however.

“Harley, if they shove you under the water, I will not avenge you," Poison Ivy said with a roll of her eyes, though the effect was diminished by how her lips softened at the corners. “You should know where the lines are with people by now."

Harley blinked at her, looking up from where she had been studying Lady Blaze's breasts. Lady Blaze's fingers twitched, yet she otherwise held herself loftily above Harley's particular kind of attentions.

As Harley was looking so closely at Lady Blaze's tits, it made sense that Selina's gaze followed the same lines, although Selina tried not to look obvious about it. If anyone was going to get taken down a peg or two for staring, it was most certainly going to be Harley and not her.

Lady Blaze's breasts seemed to defy gravity, though they had a nice round to them. Selina didn't blame Harley at all for staring, though Lady Blaze's nipples looked softer at that time. They spread out a little more when they were soft, rather than the peaks tightening into pert nubs in the cooler air. They didn't sway much as she moved back and forth, even when she bent over – though they were not so fixed in place that they defied gravity in any way. It was just the way they were for someone of her calibre and station in the world. Or, technically, Hell itself.

What would they feel like if I was holding them? Selina wondered. I wouldn't, of course… Harley might if she gets any closer to her.

_ _

Lady Blaze shifted away and glared at her, a snarl in the air that seemed to be audible despite Lady Blaze's lips not moving apart at all. Harley held up her hands and appeased her with a grin, although Lady Blaze was a lot quicker to soften than Selina would have expected.

“Harley, you are testing my patience," she said with a sigh in her tone. “Can't you go bother someone else this time?"

Harley spread her hands out wide, looking all too innocent for the moment.

“What? I'm just taking a nice, close look to make sure my professional opinion on the matter is one hundred per cent correct!" She said, though she stepped back a little to give the others some room after Ivy stepped in. “Talia al Ghul has the biggest tits here, and that's a fact! Though, Lady Blaze… You're definitely a close second there!"

Harley grinned and clapped her hands, drops of water sparkling as they flew away from her damp hands, as if it was a compliment. At least, in her eyes, it surely was.

Harley splashed between them, taking things a little more easily and quietly as she compared her breasts to everyone else's. That gave Selina a discreet way to take in everyone else's bodies while Harley Quinn annoyed them, while pretending she was merely keeping an eye on Harley. She just couldn't help her natural curiosity, although some said it was part of her cat-like nature.

Perhaps the name “Catwoman" had not been the best one she could have chosen after all…

She might have examined everyone more closely, if she had possessed the courage to do so, just like Harley Quinn. Yet she could not help herself from being fascinated with everyone's bodies and just how they were built differently. Harley had pointed out well enough who had the largest breasts there, but what was truly impressive about Lady Blaze's breasts was how they supported themselves. It was not as if they looked fake, however, just perpetually youthful and round, the skin on her chest a little tighter than it was with Talia's breasts. Being that she was from another world, that kind of made sense, and they were bouncy and perky. How she kept them tucked away in that skimpy outfit of hers most of the time was beyond anything Selina could understand, in all fairness.

How the water shimmered on Lady Blaze's red skin, however, caught Selina's eyes the most and she ran her gaze down her body to her pubic area. Some trimmed, some shaved and others let it all go bare, but Lady Blaze had a small, oddly polite triangle of pubic hair, which almost looked like a landing strip. Her tight ass briefly caught Selina's eyes and she reflexively tightened her own glutes.

I wonder what my butt looks like if someone else here was staring at me too?

_ _

She would have checked out her own butt, but there was too much going on. And she wanted to keep enjoying her little voyeuristic glances for as long as possible.

Lady Blaze turned away before Selina could spend all that much time, admittedly, ogling her, which was probably just as well: she didn't want to get caught. Talia al Ghul's breasts had a little more sag to them, though that was only if Selina was being exceptionally picky with how she described the other woman's breasts, in the privacy of her mind. It was a more natural look on her and they were large and round and full, topped with lightly coloured nipples that were quite fat and full. They seemed to have perked up in the cool air of the oasis and Selina chuckled under her breath. She probably had the same issue with her own body, but she would not waste time worrying about that.

Both Lady Blaze and Talia, the latter more because of the strict fitness regime she put herself through, had muscular butts and thighs, however, gleaming as water streamed down them. Talia's skin tone was darker than Selina's, which made sense at least to Selina, yet seeing someone with as strangely coloured skin as Lady Blaze would never grow old to Selina. She wondered if it had the same texture as human skin, for Lady Blaze was as far from human as she was from an actual, four-legged, purring feline.

Harley bounced between them all, drawing Selina's attention to Enchantress. There was a light amount of tone to her body, but she was a little softer around the chest and the buttocks, her hips slightly wider too. There was still a fair amount of muscle on her, lean and tight, and any differences in softness were merely minute, as she was inspecting them so closely. Enchantress had her body turned away so Selina couldn't see what her pubic hair looked like, though she could imagine Enchantress having a big, full bush: that sort of thing seemed like it would suit her. Her long, black hair, with that oddly purple sheen, hung down her back where she had untied it, droplets of water clinging to the strands like jewels.

Still, Enchantress' breasts could be seen from the side. She was a little smaller than some, though it did not seem that Enchantress minded so much. Her nipples were a darker shade than the rest of her skin and perked up nicely as the breeze licked at them. Selina eyed the soft curve of them and how gravity pulled them very faintly down into a pleasing shape. Still, it was the nipple that tipped them, as if it was intended to draw the eye.

Superwoman was quick to shun Harley's advances, but Harley merely bounced and flipped around her. Grasping Poison Ivy around the neck, she used her leverage on her “girlfriend's" body to lift herself out of the water and then spring out in midair, her foot pushing off Ivy's hip. Although Ivy grunted, it was too late for her to stop Harley – if it even needed to be said, it was often pointless trying to prevent Harley from doing something potentially stupid.

“Wheeeee!"

Harley squealed as she cartwheeled neatly through the air, getting a good rotational view of Superwoman's boobs as she flew by directly in front of her. There was not even a metre of space between them even though Superwoman jolted back. The sand must have shifted under her feet, which didn't allow her to get away as quickly as she otherwise would have, but Selina briefly wondered why she didn't at least use her powers. The only one who had used any real show of power there, bar flying, was Enchantress with the portals.

“Honestly, Harley," Poison Ivy said, pressing a hand to her forehead. “You really are going to get yourself done one of these days."

“Hm?"

Harley bobbed back up from a deeper part of the pool where she'd splashed down, blinking as if she didn't understand. Selina could see that. She didn't often get how she was annoying to people and how she crossed lines. Yet others had varying amounts of sympathy for her behaviour.

Thankfully, Harley moved on from Selina and posed above the water, which lapped at her thighs, turning back and forth as she compared her breasts directly with those belonging to others. Selina suppressed the urge to hiss at her – which wouldn't help her when it came to all the nicknames Harley had for her – as Harley's eyes landed on her.

“Hm…" Harley said at last, standing side by side with Isis as she cupped her own tits in her hands. “It looks like I'm somewhere in the middle here. Huh, it's been a while since I've been in the middle!"

Poison Ivy chuckled and pressed her hand over her lips. Harley didn't notice.

“So… I'm a bit bigger than you, Isis," she said, giving Isis' boobs a long, hard stare, which wasn't really necessary to compare how large their breasts were. “And… I reckon Cat's tits are about the same size as yours too, Isis."

Harley's gaze swept aside and Isis breathed an obvious sigh of relief for no longer being under such intense scrutiny. Selina, however, still checked out Isis, curious as to how Harley said they were about the same size. Although it was hard to judge, Selina thought she was a bit bigger than Isis, though it was one thing that would always be subject to differences in opinion.

Isis had nice breasts and her skin tone drew the eye. Her regal way of carrying herself made it look like she was trying to push her chest out a little more, but Selina thought it was all subconscious. She wasn't really, surely, trying to make herself look like that.

“Now that you've decided who has the biggest breasts, Harley," Enchantress said dryly, “perhaps we may continue with bathing?"

Lady Blaze grimaced, yet appeared less bothered by Harley than she had initially.

“Yes, we should," she grumbled. “This sand and dirt clings with more tenacity than brimstone…"

Harley cocked her head.

“Brim-what now?"

The tension broke softly, though everyone, mostly, understood that anything to do with Harley was merely Harley being Harley and no more than that. They were annoyed at her outbursts and, moreover, the overly intense staring she was prone too, as if every inch of their bodies was being inspected in close order. Of course, that was exactly what was happening, though there were very few who would have responded favourably to such intense scrutiny.

“Can't believe catty-cat-cat has smaller boobs then me though!" Harley laughed without malice. “I thought you'd have bigger tits than that, Selina, with how often Batty is staring at you. Did you notice that? He totally has a thing for you."

Selina sighed and shook her head.

“I wish you'd get off that line," she said. “And I'd advise you do. You are obsessed, Harley Quinn."

She paused, a smile pulling at her lips.

“And I think there's a much better focus for your attention right here, Harley."

She shot a look at Poison Ivy, who blinked, lips pressing together just a little more. She clearly didn't want to do anything more in that moment, yet Selina understood too when she was being asked to toe a line.

With Poison Ivy, at least temporarily, distracting Harley again, Selina got down to the dirty job of washing herself thoroughly. She'd been spending a lot of time staring at the others and their bodies and, well, Harley hadn't helped the matter either with how she had been bouncing around being her usual annoying self.

She ran her fingers through her hair, combing out the strands, though the swill of dirt washing off her chest in grubby streams had her screwing up her face again. Selina would have turned away to hide her breasts from Harley, for she was always nagging Selina to touch her breasts “for funsies," but she knew it wouldn't do any good. The more she looked like she was irritated by Harley, the more Harley would dig her heels in just to get what she wanted.

Although, there was very little harm in Harley, unless you crossed her, for which everyone was grateful. Selina sighed, bending over to rub at her thighs. She shook her head: it looked like the dirt had seeped right through her outfit, getting right down to her skin.

That was another thing Selina had to take care of, spending some attention on her costume and rubbing it vigorously with both hands. It would have helped if she had a wash rack or something, anything at all, but multiple scrubs with her hands and rinses would have to do, at least for the moment.

However, Selina couldn't really say anything about Harley being annoying around the other super villainesses when she was covertly eyeing them all up too. Harley tried to bother Selina and bumped her with her hip, but Selina was swift enough to shimmy to the side and let her splash down into the water.

“Maybe you should let us get clean, Harley," she chuckled with her lips tugging up in a smirk. “Everyone's grubby and tempers are shorter now."

Harley grumbled good-naturedly, but settled a little. It left Selina to ponder things, rubbing at the dirt on her body as it sloughed off.

She wasn't a lesbian like Harley (at least, that was what she suspected Harley's sexuality was, even if it had not been openly discussed) but she liked looking at them too. Rather than staring at their breasts like Harley had, her gaze tended to drop to their crotches and what she could see of their vulvas.

She let her eyes roam through them while she washed off, scrubbing her legs and even between her toes, swirling up the sand on the base of the pool. Lady Blaze was the first subject of her attention and she managed to catch, that time, a better look at the small triangle of pubic hair there. It was dark, the shame shade as her hair, though didn't look all that curly. That could have been due to the length of it, however, as it looked like Lady Blaze kept it trimmed nice and short.

As Lady Blaze turned, washing off and flicking her hair back from her head, Selina's eyes landed on her ass. Her backside rounded out powerfully with muscle and there wasn't a spare ounce of fat, seemingly, anywhere on Lady Blaze's body at all.

Her eyes flicked to someone else, still making a pretence of focusing only on washing herself, and it was Talia al Ghul with the largest pair of breasts who drew her attention next. With her heavy breasts, it was hard, in a way, to look at anything else, but she didn't have any pubic hair down there at all. Dimly, Selina thought she'd noticed her having quite a thick, full bush previously, yet it was hard to pull little details like that out of her memory.

Seeing the bare, still-smooth skin there was alluring and she smiled faintly, lips parted. If she'd been bare for all that time, she must have waxed it. Selina hadn't tried that on herself for quite some time. Whereas the pain of ripping waxing strips off her crotch at the front was not all that bad, putting it between her legs to carefully strip hair from her labia was not at all pleasant. It simply wasn't something Selina wanted to repeat for herself, even if she enjoyed the appearance of it too.

Although Harley had made a point of Talia al Ghul having the largest breasts there, Talia didn't seem all that uncomfortable anymore, now that Harley's intense scrutiny was no longer on her. Her breasts were definitely large enough to need a bra to help control them and Selina's lips twinged in faint sympathy for the back pain Talia must have gone through. It was a good thing they were supervillains and, at the very least, could access some items and technology to help little things like that along. More of them had powers that could better deal with troubles like that too, but Selina was not one of them.

Superwoman was the same when it came to the pubic hair department, though Selina wondered at her focusing on her physical appearance as much as she did. She didn't know all that much about Superwoman and her backstory, though liked her well enough when it came to working with her on missions. She was, however, an acquired taste. Many of them there were.

Isis had a soft little line of a landing strip that looked like it had been trimmed shorter too. Selina dimly acknowledged that it must have been trimmed almost all the way down to her skin before they had got stuck out there. Was she doing it for herself or did she have a partner? That was an interesting line of thought to go down, although it didn't really matter to Selina either way. She was just far too curious about everyone for her own good most of the time.

Enchantress and Poison Ivy boasted thick, full bushes with the same hair colour as the hair on their heads. Enchantress' bush was just as Selina had suspected, curly and glistening faintly with tiny droplets of water clinging to some of the hairs. Perhaps she shouldn't have spent so much time wondering about and thinking of what the others had under their outfits, though it had never really done her wrong in the slightest.

Poison Ivy's bush was red like her hair, of course, but not quite as large as Enchantress'. It somehow retained a soft, bouncy quality, even though she'd already ducked under the water, as if it was so light and airy that it could not possible be soaked flat to her crotch.

Harley, of course, was easy to catch sight of, swimming and flipping over on to her back. Unusually for Harley, who normally had a full bush of hair too, she looked like she had trimmed it down recently. There were some newer, shorter hairs growing in, though it was hard to see them clearly when Harley was always moving. Did the woman ever stop moving? Probably not.

Selina glanced down at herself, not even taking note of her own body. She'd shaved, of course, before going on the mission, but she'd never anticipated getting stuck out there. There was some stubble at her crotch that was starting to itch and she resisted the urge to scratch even then as she eyed up her shaved crotch. Just having hair there annoyed her, especially with the tight outfits she preferred for herself. They clung all over her body, though she had to have full flexibility in them too and, preferably, nothing at all to distract her.

The supervillains had nice butts too, yet it was easier to ogle them quietly when she moved into deeper water, swimming lightly and paddling up to chest depth. The water splashed around her neck as she turned in the water, getting a good look again at Lady Blaze's ass.

She's very shapely, Selina thought, sculling backwards in the water as she relaxed a little, some tension easing from where she'd been holding it in her shoulders. Kind of like Harley, though Harley is shorter than her.

_ _

They were similar, yes, but Harley and Lady Blaze could never have been cut from the same cloth, as the saying went. Harley's butt was a little rounded than Lady Blaze's, but there was a sense of athleticism there that always came through in the fittest of them. Lady Blaze just looked like she was about to suck someone's soul out through the sheer will of her sharp femininity alone, the definition of a femme fatale. Selina had been called that once or twice in her life too and it was not a bad look in the slightest.

Lady Blaze's ass was larger than Harley's, if she was comparing them side by side, but Selina was curious about more than just them. With Isis being a new addition to their little group, she glanced over to her and stood in the water, relaxing in her proximity to the others without looking overtly like she was there for any kind of ulterior motive.

Looking, after all, wasn't going to do anyone there any harm and it was all Selina wanted. Perhaps she would find out one day just why it appealed to her as much as it did.

Either way, she could enjoy what she wanted as Harley laughed and smacked Poison Ivy's backside, drawing Selina's attention over there. It spoke volumes as to the relationship between them that Poison Ivy even allowed Harley to do that and Selina's lips quirked in a subtle smile.

Although Ivy did not have the largest breasts there, of course, she was a little more bottom-heavy. With a bigger, rounder ass that was somewhat softer in appearance than that of the others there, Selina could only imagine just what Harley Quinn got up to with Ivy when the doors were closed. Or when they weren't closed too, for both of them most likely weren't all that concerned about keeping things completely private. They were lucky they hadn't had to endure Ivy and Harley being “loud" about anything when they were camping out there, but that was likely due to Ivy's influence. Harley definitely wouldn't have cared.

Superwoman had a tight backside, maybe the smallest of them, everything about her lean and powerful. She had curves, but they were longer and smoother as if her body was more aerodynamic; it wasn't a question Selina was about to ask of her, however. Isis was similar to her and Selina stared a little longer than she should have as her eyes greedily roamed Isis' body, up and down, following the lines of muscles running down on either side of her spine to the top of her glutes.

There was a sense of elegance and poise to Isis and Selina took a little longer to stare at her as she admired her thighs and the powerful, tight muscle in there. She bent over, showing off the stretch of her hamstrings, but angled her butt away, so Selina only got a flash of her vulva. It still made something surge within in her as she fed that voyeuristic little thrill that kept her coming back for more each and every time.

Enchantress, on the other hand, was usually a little more discreet – or maybe she was merely more efficient than the rest of them, so she worked over her body nicely – but she didn't pay much attention to what was around her either. She shook her head minutely as she bent over near the shore, washing her outfit with the aid of a rock. She appeared, however, to be having just as much trouble with getting her outfit clean without anything to help in the slightest as Selina was. The desert environment most certainly had not been kind to them in the slightest.

Her backside shivered slightly with the soft layer of fat covering the muscle of her glutes, although she appeared to be slightly thicker on the bottom half. Her breasts swung a little from her chest, nipples perking up into the cooler, fresher air around the pool, as she bent over, not even considering the notion that she was pointing her ass at everyone else. It didn't really matter, though it was a wonder that Harley didn't catch on to it and shout something that would have been a little embarrassing to someone who didn't want to be commented on like that.

Splashing turned Selina's attention once more to Isis, her eyes flicking between everyone there as if she couldn't rest on one individual for too long. Water streamed and cascaded off Isis' ass as she waded into shallower water, though Selina could not ogle her for too long without getting caught. That was one thing about being a voyeur: it simply wasn't fun anymore if she was caught in the act. And there would be way too many questions to answer if anyone wanted to know exactly why she was staring at them like that…

She wasn't sure she could even answer those questions herself, if she was honest.

Most of the villains finished bathing and Selina hastened to catch up with them, laying her costume out over the branches of a tree to dry after they had all got them as clean as was possible. The soft grass lured them under the trees, for it was still hot out there and it was near to midday (though that world didn't have a midday – it was hard to explain).

Stretching out under the trees on the grass, they relaxed, napping and catching up on whatever their bodies needed at that time. Harley and Ivy stuck close together and, for once, Harley was quieter than she usually was. Maybe there was something about Ivy that simply calmed her down like that, though that was likely not going to last for all that long. No one could or even should want to tame Harley Quinn.

Isis lay flat out on her back, snoozing lightly, and Selina marvelled at how she was able to relax so fully around them. She had taken a while before she could even let her guard down around those who'd been with her for quite some time already.

Harley, however, was not quiet for long, as Selina had suspected. Talia sat up, rubbing her neck and left shoulder repeatedly, a long, low sigh rolling from her lips. It took no more than a few moments for Harley's eyes to land on her, her hair loose for once and drying around her shoulders.

“What's wrong with you?" Harley asked brightly, not rudely but as frankly as ever. “You look like you got a crick in your neck, Tal-Tal."

Talia winced and shot Harley a look.

“Do not use that name with me," she said dryly. “And my muscles are sore there… I think I sustained an injury while fighting a security guard before we ended up here. It's still healing."

Harley grinned, her eyes lighting up.

“Oh, I can help you with that! I'm really good at massage. Do you want me to rub your back for you?"

Ivy rolled her eyes but made no further comment as she lay there, otherwise impartial to what was going on. Talia considered the idea for a moment and then half-shrugged, although even that movement seemed to cause her pain.

“Okay… Okay, yes, anything would be appreciated, thank you."

Selina watched them quietly from the corner of her eye. Talia must have been desperate to accept hands-on attention. Come to think of it, Selina couldn't think of a time when she'd ever been that close to someone else there, for Talia liked her space. It was usually Harley bouncing around and draping herself all over everyone else.

Harley, however, gave somewhat good massages, perhaps as it was something she could hyper fixate on to some degree. She knelt quite happily to the side of Talia and worked her fingers slowly around the base of her neck and her shoulder, moving around to the centre of her back. It was easy enough for Harley to see where the sorest of spots were and to treat them kindly, for it was not as if she wanted to cause Talia any pain either.

Harley frowned, working her way around to the middle of Talia's chest as the other woman hissed through her teeth.

“Oh, Talia, they got you good!" Harley hissed in obvious sympathy. “But your breasts are kind of blocking the injury too. Mind if I move them? I don't wanna just do something you don't want, you know?"

Selina stifled a snort. Yeah, like Harley wouldn't. It was just because she knew how Talia would react if she just grabbed and groped her randomly. Harley wasn't stupid.

Talia sighed and waved the comment off.

“Yeah, feel free," she said. “Do whatever you need to do. I'll take anything right now."

It helped a little, clearly, and Selina made a mental note to see if Harley could work on a spot on her lower back for her at some point. At least, if she had that taken care of, she wouldn't have to explain to yet another physiotherapist how she'd got so many small injuries. Harley wouldn't care about how, only that she got to be up close and personal with Selina again.

Harley's ulterior motive, of course, was to get a hold on Talia's breasts, squeezing and rubbing them lightly. She moved her breasts up to get at the injured area, yet dug her fingers into the soft flesh of them more than was really necessary. At least, that was what Selina thought. Who knew what Talia was really thinking about everything, to be honest.

Harley worked her fingers in the middle of Talia's chest and stroked over the injured area, treating it more gently than she would a merely sore muscle. But it seemed to be taking Harley Quinn some difficult in keeping Talia's breasts out of the way so she could more easily rub at the injured flesh underneath. They kept dropping back into Harley's hands and Harley bounced them lightly, smiling to herself. She looked exceptionally pleased, even though Talia seemingly didn't notice what Harley was doing.

It did not escape Selina's attention, however, and Talia merely seemed grateful to have any manner of relief she could get. Selina understood that. Even if Harley was being helpful, she was not all that discreet about things to those who knew her.

Selina drifted off, lightly snoozing. It wasn't something to need her full attention.

When she woke later, a strange sight greeted her. The hour in the day, the days there, had grown later and, still under the shifting shade, Talia and Harley were both bent over on their knees. At first, Selina didn't understand what she was looking at – and then it became clear as the fire flickered into view, the flames leaping and dancing.

It looked like they were assembling kebabs using sticks, but Selina didn't want to think about where the meat had come from. From her viewpoint, lying on her front on the ground, she got a close-up view of both Harley and Talia's backsides – and what lay between their legs too.

They didn't know she was awake and they were rather closer to her face than they should have been. Even then, Selina didn't want to startle them as she eyed up Talia's vulva, surprised to see that she waxed her private areas completely. She'd thought she would spare herself that, just waxing the front for convenience, but Selina didn't like shaving her labia either. It was difficult to get all the little hairs down there, yet she hated how much they itched and annoyed her too.

Harley trimmed all the hair she had down there so it was kept shorter and perhaps more manageable for her. The hairs were longer, however, and it was obvious she had not been able to take care of that intimate region for quite a few days, which made sense, considering where they were.

It was not exactly a view she wanted to wake up to, but Selina knew it was not intentional. She just happened to nap near where the fire was built. When they shifted away a bit, she made a show of stretching and waking up properly, though they merely nodded and smiled their greetings to her.

Joining Harley and Talia by the fire, she took over some of the kebab sticks, sliding meet on to the pointy ends.

“Do I want to ask where this meat came from?" She said, her tone low and level. “Not that I'm about to turn down at least trying it. I doubt it's poisonous."

“Eh, you'd have to ask Lady Blaze, I think Isis caught some of them too," Harley said with a shrug. “I'm sure it'll taste just like chicken. Everything tastes like chicken."

That wasn't something Selina would honestly agree with, but she nodded all the same. Hiding the roll of her eyes, she looked up as Lady Blaze and Isis returned. They had two more small animals, which seemed to be mammals and not like the miniature dinosaurs they'd seen roaming around too. That was something, at the very least, for she couldn't remember the last time she'd been forced to eat something weird and had a rough stomach afterwards. Her digestive system just wasn't designed to cope with things like that.

Thankfully for them, there was no more time needed to worry about things, even if they would have to get back to their home world at some time. The afternoon ran on, the shadows moving across the ground, allowing them to somewhat mark the passage of time, even though it still wasn't that easy to see what was going on there. The dimension they were in didn't work as they expected, yet it was enough for them to rest and recover, which was all they truly needed.

Some of their group changed back into their outfits before dinner, leaving Harley Quinn, of course, and Talia naked amongst them. Talia put on part of her outfit as they sat down, though complained of still being sore and not wanting to aggravate the injury while it was still healing.

Selina, on the other hand, was just glad to be back and clothed, for she was more comfortable when she was not nude, at the very least.

It was not the sort of mission she could have expected, but, with everyone there, it was at least a bearable one.

Even if Harley had got rather up close and personal with Talia… Only time would tell just how far Harley would keep pushing things amongst them all.

Vignette Two

---

Harley Quinn's perspective

_ _

Joining in on a raid with Ivy was the best thing Harley had done in ages! Potentially since the last time she'd teamed up with Poison Ivy, but she didn't want to look as if she was too biased about things.

Poison Ivy was on her do-good run again, sabotaging a factory that was dumping pollutants into the Gotham's harbour. She was so cute doing things like that! Harley wasn't really all that bothered by what people did around Gotham as long as it didn't affect her and had learned to fly under the radar a little more. She didn't always need eyes on her and her pranks were a little sneakier too than they had been.

Of course, the villains had fled – the real villains there, that was. Ivy had gone off to do what Ivy did and Harley was left with Lady Blaze, separated from the main group.

“Here."

Lady Blaze stepped head and formed a fiery portal in the air to escape the sirens behind them. It didn't make sense that the cops were after them when they were the ones trying to set things to rights again, even if Harley may not have done it of her own accord under normal circumstances.

“Agh!"

Harley leapt after Lady Blaze, pigtails bouncing, as she dived straight after her. Getting caught and tossed back in prison was sooooo not on Harley's agenda that day, no siree!

She emerged into a realm filled with lava, heat clawing at her skin. She took a breath that was a lot deeper than she'd intended, hot air assaulting her lungs as if it was trying to burn her from the inside out.

“Ugh!" Harley squawked, dramatically clutching at her throat. “Where in the heck are we? Did you leave the heating on or summin?"

Lady Blaze rolled her eyes and clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth. Harley stared at her, blinking as the rest of the landscape came into focus. It was not just hot – she couldn't see the sky either. It was as if it disappeared into pitch black darkness, though there was still light down there too.

Yet the landscape around them was dark and foreboding with mountains and volcanos, lava spilling from many of them in thick rivulets that cut through the landscape. There were no rivers of water like what Harley may have found more familiar, but twisting, undulating rivers of lava. They were very much not the sort of thing she would have wanted to get herself all snarled up in, to say the least of it.

“Huh, none of this makes sense," Harley muttered, spinning in a circle to better take in her surroundings. “Where we, Blazey? Did you mess up getting us away from the cops, huh?"

Lady Blaze gave a long sigh as Harley turned back, expectantly, to face her.

“Welcome to Hell," Lady Blaze said. “Unfortunately, my portal did not bring us quite as close to my base as I would have liked."

Harley's eyes went wide.

“Wait, so you mean, we're, like…literally in Hell? Hell-Hell? The letters H-E-double-hockey-sticks Hell?"

Lady Blaze stood still, staring at her, though it was fair enough for her to need a few moments to understand what was happening and going on around her. Getting all the way down to Hell was not something Harley had imagined happening until she was, at least, dead.

But it was better to be in Hell alive than dead, Harley thought, turning to scan the structure in the distance. It looked like something of a cross between a medieval castle and a modern military facility, with towering, metal walls that reflected a sheen of red light and parapets towering above. If it was designed after anything, however, it was only something Lady Blaze knew of.

“Yes, that is the Hell you are in," Lady Blaze said, after a pause, choosing not to engage with Harley's craziness, at least for some time. “As I was saying, it looks like my magic was drained somewhat during our fight, so we will need to walk until I have drawn enough strength from my domain."

“Huh…" Harley considered that for a moment and nodded, a bright smile stretching her lips all over again. “That makes sense! Better than being arrested again! That gets old for a girl, you know? Have you ever been arrested, Blazey? I can't imagine they'd keep you in for long. One fiery blast of a portal and you'd be like – fwoosh! Outta there!"

She spoke so quickly she left barely a single moment for Lady Blaze to chime in, though there was no real reason for Lady Blaze to say anything. Harley Quinn talked more than enough for everyone most of the time. It was getting Harley to shut up that was the problem – and even Harley admitted that.

Harley fanned her face, already pink in the cheeks.

“I've never been to Hell before…" She said, lightening her tone as if it was all just a casual conversation she was having with Lady Blaze. “Wow… It sure is hot here! Why'd you keep it like this? Don't you sweat?"

Lady Blaze shook her head.

“That is not something I've ever had a problem with," Lady Blaze said. “But there will be somewhere more habitable for humans inside my quarters."

Lady Blaze wasn't all that good of a host, Harley thought, but she was not about to complain. She wasn't stupid and she just wanted to get through the day and back to her bed in one piece. She didn't want to anger Blazey, even if she most likely wouldn't do anything all that terrible to her: it was her domain and her realm, after all. If she'd gone to Hell and back again, however, she'd sure end up with a cool story to tell Poison Ivy after everything!

Ivy's going to kill me…

_ _

She pressed her fingers to her lips and shook her head, though didn't voice the words aloud. Lady Blaze wouldn't get it, which was a shame. Her jokes were amazing.

They headed together towards the base, Harley staying a step behind Lady Blaze out of need. She would have bounced ahead but even she knew she needed to be careful down there. Who knew what could pop out of the ground at any moment? And if she stumbled into a lava river, there most likely wouldn't be any way for her at all to get back up to Earth and her realm again.

“Careful when you're stepping that way," Lady Blaze said, warning her off a sucking pit with small holes in the quicksand-like surface, as if it had bubbled. “There's a demon, Girzirin – lower form, of course – that likes to suck down souls. Of course, it would pose no harm to me and I'd crush him like a roach for the inconvenience of interrupting my day, but he would suck you down in an instant."

Harley shivered, clutching her arms dramatically. She didn't know how serious Lady Blaze was being with that, although she didn't want to test things too much there. Who knew what could really happen in Hell? She had a front row seat to it, either way.

“Ah-yeah, thanks for that, Blazey." Harley bounced up alongside her, though she felt a bit on the small side with Lady Blaze towering over her at easily seven feet tall. “So…anything else happening down here with all the demons and whatnot?"

“The lesser demons cause me no trouble at all these days," Lady Blaze said levelly, as if the conversation was not one that interested her at all. “They scamper from me when I come… There are few that dare to even stand in my presence. Any that speak, well… They can be squashed."

“Whoa…" Harley clasped her hands to her chest, not knowing what else to say. “Bugs are kind of cool though. Not the scuttly ones with loads of legs. Or the ones that jump out at you. Are there any bugs down here?"

Lady Blaze eyed her up as if she wasn't all that sure what was going on with Harley. Harley got that look a lot, but it didn't bother her. She smiled brightly, trying to ignore the droplets of sweat dampening the nape of her neck. To say the least of it, it was extremely hot down there!

Lady Blaze scanned the area, seeming to be looking for something.

“Koz'ganel has set up a weapons factory over there," Lady Blaze said casually, nodding in the direction of a towering, metal structure. “That will be most useful if anyone seeks to invade Hell again, though that had not happened for some decades now."

“Wow, that's pretty cool!" Harley said, though didn't really understand the implications of what Lady Blaze was talking about. “So, like…are there a lot of demons around here?"

“Oh, many, many billions of them," Lady Blaze confirmed. “I make deals with the human souls sent down here to fuel my armies, though they are little more than cannon fodder to me. If they get some relief from their sentences, however, they are mostly amenable to serving me."

Lady Blaze paused, glancing at Harley. She tried to appear as if she was paying close attention, yet Harley Quinn had to admit she didn't catch on to a lot of what Lady Blaze said. Lady Blaze, after all, had lived for an awful lot longer than Harley, and lived a completely different life. Somehow, however, they'd ended up in a similar walk of life, branded as supervillains against those that thought they needed to control everything in the world.

“This tower of rock is where I turned a demon into stone," she said, as if fond of the memory, brushing the outcrop with her hand. “He bored me."

“Oh… Oh, that's really cool?"

Harley cocked her head, tugging at one of her own pigtails. Was that an okay thing to say? She would usually have been brash and talked way too much, though there was something about being in Hell that would have got anyone on the back foot, feeling more than a little on edge about everything.

Lady Blaze continued talking and, for once, Harley was quieter. Her shoulders ached after the mission, though she wasn't about to admit that she may well have strained herself a little. She'd not wanted to let Ivy down. That was something she wouldn't have said aloud either, but her relationship with Ivy was slowly becoming public knowledge.

The terminology Lady Blaze used was beyond Harley Quinn, though only because it most likely would not have made sense to anyone who was not a denizen of Hell – and that was just fine by Harley. She didn't honestly want to end up down there and, frankly, it reeked of something spicy and sharp, along with the insidious twist of rotten eggs.

There were various demons of higher status within Hell, though their rule over lesser fiefdoms concerned Lady Blaze very little. Harley would have strode out with her nose in the air, mimicking Lady Blaze's overpowering, higher-than-though attitude, if she didn't have some modicum of self-preservation. She'd seen Lady Blaze in battle too, so that was something to be aware of.

Her stomach gurgled and she glanced up at the base set into the foot of a mountain ahead. That was where Lady Blaze had said her base was, though most of it was concealed within the mountain itself. It was a good stronghold – but it was still wayyyyy off in the distance.

Her stomach rumbled again, bubbles churning and popping. Well, that wasn't something that could wait in the slightest.

“Hey – sorry to interrupt ya," she cut in, for Lady Blaze had still been talking. “I need to go to the bathroom…like, right now, and your base is so far away. You good for a little pit stop over here, huh?"

She shook her head as Lady Blaze raise an eyebrow.

“Ah, of course," she said, not seeming all that put out for being cut off that time. “Follow me, there is just the spot nearby."

Harley bounced along behind her without her usual exuberance, for her belly was churning quite a bit. It was so annoying how her body needed to go at the most awkward of times. She didn't mind having a bowel movement in public, that was no problem to Harley, but she didn't want to go somewhere Lady Blaze would find awkward. It was her domain.

Lady Blaze, however, led her to a small, almost bubbling, pool of lava. Harley leaned over it inquisitively, still jigging on the spot.

“This is it?"

Lady Blaze nodded.

“Yes, you may go here, as I find it a convenient way to dispose of waste products," she said. “Don't get too close, however, or I may not be able to pull you back in time."

“Gotcha, boss!"

She grinned, glad to be able to relieve herself, even if she'd never pooped over a pool of lava before. That was new, very new! And she was all about trying new things, filling her life and times with all sorts of crazy, fun things.

She wanted more “things" in her life, even if they tended to be experiences more often than not.

She faced the pool and pulled down her pants, so she wouldn't accidentally back in too close to it. Bearing down, without thinking of Lady Blaze standing near her still, she hummed to herself and swung her buttocks lightly back and forth, letting her body start off with what it needed to do.

“I will join you," Lady Blaze said, surprising Harley a little. “It has been quite some time for me also, since long before the mission. The need usually comes when another begins."

Harley laughed and bobbed her head.

“Isn't it totally crazy how that happens?" She said, fully agreeing with Lady Blaze. “You pop a squat and do what you need to do! Ain't no need to be shy around Harley Quinn!"

Lady Blaze gave her a curious look out of the corner of her eye. It was the kind of look Harley wasn't best placed to read.

“Whyever would someone be embarrassed or shy of a bowel movement? It is perfectly natural and especially so for one such as I."

Harley rolled her eyes.

“No need to shake that imperious tone all over me, Blazey," she said, starting to push harder on her poop, moving it through her rectum. “I'm not one of your little demons out here."

“That is quite true."

Lady Blaze, however, didn't pull down her outfit like Harley did but merely removed the bottom half of her purple cloth clothing. Her attire had not covered all that much to begin with and Harley whistled as she got a good look at Lady Blaze's ass.

“Damn, wish I had a butt like that! No wonder you are so good in battle when you're muscled like that."

Lady Blaze blinked at her as she stood much closer to the lava pool, as if not fully understanding what it was Harley was referring to there.

“My power does not come from my muscle, Harley," she said, “but from my realm. It is more akin to…magic in your world."

Harley would have laughed aloud at that, though she only quirked her lips. Oh, Lady Blaze didn't mean offence at all there. It was strange for her to try explaining what her powers were in a way Harley could understand, but the fact of the matter was that Harley Quinn was more than happy to just accept things as they were.

Power Girl, one of the members of the Justice League, flew through the air? Sure thing.

Enchantress could rip portals through clear air? Of course.

Catwoman had all manner of quirky tech and cat-like skills and reflexes? Duh.

So, Lady Blaze having powers and drawing her energy, at the very least, from her realm of Hell was not exactly unusual information for Harley to have. She didn't need all the details, but she could accept it pretty easily.

Regardless, all Harley had commented on was Lady Blaze's butt and it was not something either of them needed to go into in all that much depth.

Lady Blaze left her backside completely exposed as she crouched near Harley, not seeming to need all that much space for herself. But she was just about as open about having her bowel movements as Harley was, even though Harley admitted she was more overt about it. Lady Blaze just kind of got on with it wherever had however she needed to.

She was nearly standing in the pool, however, as if she didn't truly feel the heat rising from the surface. That made sense, considering Hell was her domain and all.

Harley bore down, focusing on easing out the first log of waste from her body. Oh, that was always such a satisfying thing, letting her body take care of what it needed to do. The only thing that could have possibly made any of it better would have been if she'd been able to drop her logs somewhere she could let them be a prank. But that perhaps was not the smartest of things to do in Hell.

Maybe ol' Ivy is rubbing off on me? Harley thought. As long as it's the right kind of Ivy.

_ _

She didn't let her mind wander into that line of thinking as she let her body take care of her needs, a medium-firm poop easing from her. It was not that difficult for her, which was nice that time at least, though she worked her way past the midpoint of her first bowel movement too quickly. That meant it was not as large of a log as she'd wanted it to be – and Harley Quinn was always trying to make sure her bowel movements were as big as possible. She'd even been eating more so she could compete with the other supervillains!

Finishing with that first log, she breathed a light sigh as she dropped it to the ground, though it barely even made a noise. There was a lot of sound all around them, from the bubbling of the lava pool to a dull grumble under the surface of the ground, seeming as if they were not alone there. There were strange, bat-like creatures thwapping the air with the leathery flaps of their wings and some smaller demons scurrying about, though it helped Harley out a lot that they gave Lady Blaze a wide berth.

The second log of poop slowly began to exit her backside as she bore down, using her muscles to squeeze and push it out. However, it didn't escape even Harley's attention that Lady Blaze was just crouched there silently, not saying or doing anything at all.

Huh, she thought. That's really weird.

_ _

But she had something to do and couldn't spend much thought on Lady Blaze right then and there, even if she was intensely curious about why she was being so quiet. She'd said she had to poop too, right? So, why wasn't she doing exactly that? Was she actually being shy about it because it was just the two of them there? Though that wouldn't have matched up at all with anything Lady Blaze had done before!

Harley Quinn hated a mystery. Especially when it concerned poop.

Yet she didn't have much of a chance to say or ask anything as she worked on her second poop. Harley wanted to get it done that time, for the act of pooping was not all that pleasurable to her. It was kind of boring – except when she got to see what she'd pooped out. And it was fun when it was a big one!

She squeezed down, the second log of poop harder than the first, though not to the point she had any difficulty. Harley's stomach gurgled lightly and she huffed, puffing out her cheeks with air. It was not all that bad, however, casting her eyes over the landscape (or Hellscape?) around her with light interest. It may have been fun to explore and see if she could recruit any demons to her side. Would Lady Blaze let her take a demon back up to Earth? That would be cool!

That poop came easily and dropped neatly over the first, forming a small pile – or the very start of it. And, still, there was Lady Blaze, crouched quietly and not doing anything at all. Or it was nothing at all Harley could see.

Peering to the side, she strained to see, forgetting herself in the moment. Harley was apt to do that and the notion that staring at someone who was in the middle of defecating simply wasn't something that crossed her mind in the slightest.

The third log of waste teased from her butt as it just barely poked out, though Harley's jaw had already dropped. And it was nothing at all to do with her own bowel movement that time, but Lady Blaze's.

For the largest, thickest log of poop that Harley had ever seen protruded three or four inches out of Lady Blaze's bottom. It was huge, straining her anus so far across that it had to be at least five inches in diameter, although that was quite difficult to tell when it was in the process of easing out of someone's backside. Harley's jaw stayed dropped, unable to simply close her mouth at the sight of that. Her own butt twinged as she clenched down almost in sympathy at the sheer size of that poop. But Harley would not have minded being able to excrete a log like that either: then she'd finally be able to beat the other supervillains! Enchantress wouldn't have anything on a poop like that!

She watched, not bothering to hide just how much she was staring, as the poop eased out further and further, slowly extending. Lady Blaze didn't say anything, staring straight ahead of her, quietly crouched there in a medium squat. It made sense why Lady Blaze was being so quiet and keeping her hips a little higher as inch after inch of that monster length of poop eased from her.

Lady Blaze didn't even let out a grunt as she forced it out, bit by bit. Her backside must have really been straining around it as it squeezed out, appearing quite dark in colour. Some of the massive poop had a little crackling on the surface, as if it was so hard that the outside of it had to split slightly.

It must have been a big relief to Lady Blaze to poop that log out, though Harley winced a little. Not that she wouldn't have been proud of doing a massive, thick poop like that if it'd been her, but it was rather a lot too.

It moved slowly, too slowly, and Harley wondered, for a moment, if it was going to go on forever. Bit by bit, it pushed from her as her backside was forced to strain wider and wider around it. The thickness of it pushed her butt apart a little more, yet Harley could only see how that was so when it lay on the ground. The size difference between the width of the poop when it had started was different from the last inches pushing from her, laying straight out. The far end of the poop touched the ground, the full length of it near two feet long, before it finally dropped. The end leaving Lady Blaze's backside tapered where her sphincter had closed down around it. Harley's attention, however, was on Lady Blaze and what was to come next.

Harley could barely even focus on going to the bathroom when there was something like that going on right there in front of her. How was all that poop inside Lady Blaze? Harley shook her head minutely, lips twitching into a grin.

It wasn't for her to judge, but she could most certainly be in awe of the whole thing!

Lady Blaze, however, was not done after that first two-foot-long length of poop. She immediately started working on the next one, which seemed to come out a lot quicker. That one, in fact, practically shot out – if Harley blinked she would have missed it!

Harley's lower jaw dropped a little more as it shot from her, so brief she barely even saw it exit Lady Blaze's butt. It laid itself out right next to the first, roughly at twenty-nine inches in length. It did not look particularly soft to her eye, though there had been something of a wetter splat when it had landed on the ground. It was not surprising that there had been less of a thump than with the first.

It was also a lot thinner – not like a pencil but noticeably so compared to the first. It was not difficult for anything to be slimmer than that first round, thick log of waste, but Harley mentally logged it anyway. It was always interesting how other villains dealt with going to the bathroom, but she was more overt in staring and showing her curiosity in it than others.

Harley tried to squeeze down and concentrate, but there was only so much she could do in that regard. Lady Blaze sighed, tilting her head from the left to the right and back again, seemingly working out a kink in her neck. Harley grinned. Maybe she could ask Lady Blaze too if she'd like a massage? But that may well have been a touch too far for the uppity ruler of Hell. Actually, beyond Hell being her domain, Harley wasn't exactly sure what Lady Blaze did all the time.

Lady Blaze pushed again, the muscles in her lower abdomen twitching visibly as they contracted. Her buttocks dropped a little more as she clearly focused on pushing out another log of waste.

Harley stared and stared when she should have been concentrating on her own bowel movement. It was spellbinding, in a way, and she watched as another poop worked its way out. That one was not as quick as the second, which was probably a good thing, and neither did it take as long as the first. It seemed softer, a lighter shade of brown, and eased from her with a little, audible gurgle from Lady Blaze's stomach.

Harley could have laughed aloud. Wow, the human body sure did make some weird noises! But Lady Blaze wasn't exactly human either…

Lady Blaze did not appear at all bothered by how long her bowel movements were taking overall, however, as if it was all perfectly normal for her. She grunted very faintly. The sound would not have been audible if not for Harley paying as close attention to Lady Blaze as she was.

The third poop landed gently and softly on the ground, about nineteen inches long. It was about as thick around as a regular poop from a human being – at least in Harley's opinion – and could have been pretty standard if not for the size. The next one to push from her was thicker around, maybe around two-and-a-half inches across, clearly straining her backside. There was not much that could actually go beyond that first poop, after all.

Or, if Lady Blaze managed to create even larger bowel movements, Harley would have both been impressed and terrified all over again.

After the nineteen-inch log of poop was settled, the next one rushed through it, as if Lady Blaze was trying to hustle through her bowel movement. Harley understood that, for it was rather a lot. Pooping that much must have got tiring after a while too. When it landed on the ground, the surface dark and crackled, appearing firm, it was longer than the nineteen-inch poop, perhaps around twenty-two inches long.

Finally, there was another poop to come, sliding easily from Lady Blaze's backside as if it merely been waiting in the wings, waiting on its turn. It squeezed out smoothly and landed beside the others, though it was not the smallest one at twenty inches. That one was easy to judge the length of, if her eyes was correct on the others, for she had a good gauge to rest it against.

Shifting her weight, Lady Blaze didn't even seem to notice Harley Quinn staring. Maybe she didn't mind attention being on her? Harley speculated about so much, but if she chattered and shot off questions all the time, she didn't often get the answers she was looking for.

Damn, Ivy really is influencing me, that girl…

_ _

Harley grinned more widely. It was hard for her to keep her expressions off her face, as if her face was the subtitles for her voice – or something like that.

Just when Harley thought Lady Blaze was finished, hovering over the large pile of poop, Lady Blaze scooted forward a bit, her toes very close to touching the lava. Harley sucked in a breath, a little concerned for her, but also wondering if Lady Blaze would get hurt by the lava. Most likely not, considering everything, but that morbid curiosity was still at play, wanting to know, wanting to see.

The very last poop Lady Blaze worked on was thinner, like a novelty pencil, and folded over itself as it came out.

Back and forth, back and forth… It folded over itself so many times Harley could not keep track of it and, eventually simply gave up on doing so. It would have been impossible to remember the length of something like that as she gaped, almost on the edge of letting out a whistle at the sheer enormity and ridiculousness of it.

When the end of it finally eased from Lady Blaze's butt, she sighed in relief, though it was a much smaller sigh than Harley would have made if she'd excreted that much all in one go.

While Lady Blaze dressed herself, Harley eyed up her poop, taking the chance to inspect it more closely while Lady Blaze stepped away from it. The rustle of fabric was not enough to draw her attention and she ogled the pile of poop, with the twenty-inch poop lying over the top of all the others. It was that long, skinny one that draped over the entire pile and the first huge bowel movement that lay flat on the ground at the very bottom that took precedence, however.

At least she didn't have to go with a bowel movement like that first one again, Harley thought. That must have hurt! Or does Lady Blaze even feel things like hurt? Huh.

_ _

That was just another question she was going to have to ask Lady Blaze, yet Blazey may well have tired of her chatter soon enough. There would be plenty of time before Harley got back up from Hell and Lady Blaze's realm and she was determined to find out as much about the things that interested as possible. Knowing about demons and Hell-hierarchy, well – that kind of talk was never going to be enough to catch Harley's attention at any time.

Lady Blaze's poops were all different, not just in size. The first poop was definitely the darkest, though she couldn't tell whether it was the second or the third that had the next darkest shade, not that it really mattered. The difference in texture, firmness and colour spoke to changes in Blaze's diet, but that could have been over the course of a single day or even a whole week: who was Harley to say either way?

Harley grunted and was forced to return her attention to her own bowel movement. She'd neglected it while she'd been as wrapped up as she was in watching Lady Blaze and her own poop was still halfway pushed from her backside. It hung there, waiting for her, though her body clearly had not needed to “go" quite enough for it to take over while her mind had been otherwise distracted.

She exhaled, puffing out her cheeks, as her poop dropped to the ground, lips twitching as her expression softened back into something more neutral.

“Phew… That felt like a big one!"

The words left her lips without Harley thinking about what she was saying. Lady Blaze gave her a sidelong look, but the notion and implication of what Harley had said did not register with her as anything of importance at all.

She tugged her clothes back into place and cleaned herself up, her stomach finally settled and her body feeling like all had been set to rights again.

Turning, she looked down at her pile of poop, wanting to inspect it, though, to her dismay, it wasn't anything at all in comparison to Lady Blaze's. Whereas Lady Blaze's did not appear at all as if it should have come from a body like hers, Harley Quinn's pile of poop was very small when sitting close by. The last one made sense as to why it had taken so long for her to push out, being the largest at a good fourteen inches long, but the others were only five inches and eight inches long respectfully.

It was the last poop that was the hardest and very clearly the firmest, having taken the longest to ease from her backside. It was a medium shade and crackled along most of the length, with more along the end that had exited her bottom first. That must have been from the big meal she'd had the other night, wanting to make sure she was good and fuelled up for the mission with Poison Ivy.

The rest of her poop, after that one, were of a lighter shade, but the light down there in Hell was different too, so it was hard to tell. She'd have to see what her bowel movements looked like when she was back in her normal world again, though she had to say she was kind of missing it. It was so hot down there that her outfit stuck to her in weird and uncomfortable places, sweat dampening her skin all over.

“Uff…"

Harley openly huffed and shook her head. Was that really all she could do? Why had Lady Blaze been able to produce so much more poop than her? Sure, Lady Blaze was seven feet tall, but that was no reason for her body to be capable of all that!

She sighed and grunted in the back of her throat, already resolving to eat more and find a way for her to be able to produce a truly massive poop. A crack behind her caught her attention and Harley turned as she finally put some distance between her and the little pool of lava.

“Jamrag!"

Lady Blaze towered imperiously over a smaller demon, who appeared hunched over and subservient, bowing and practically scraping his forehead against the ground. His nose rubbed back and forth through the dirt and he flinched visibly as Lady Blaze cracked a flaming length through the air, which kind of looked like a whip that may have been used in a circus. It disappeared in a flash, for Lady Blaze didn't need such tools in hand to make an impact, Harley blinking as the impression of it remained in her vision for a few moments. Lady Blaze commanded obedience, however, from the force of her mere presence, needing no more.

“Dispose of these logs, Jamrag," she snapped, ordering him about without appearing to spare a second thought for the demon. “And be quick about it! There's no time for waiting around for you to get your snivelling act together!"

“Yes, mistress, yes, Lady Blaze," he said, shuddering in place and glancing up at her. “Yes, anything you ask, mistress, it shall be done. Is there anything else I may do to serve you?"

Lady Blaze smiled.

“Ah, that's more like the servant I am used to. Keeping me waiting raised my temper some. Yes, you can begin with the dinner immediately. See to it too that a room is ready for our guest, as she will be staying for the night."

As she locked her gaze on the demon, another crack sounded, but there was no whip that time. Harley shivered, the hairs on her arms standing up. Was that part of Lady Blaze's power? It sure was something that could come in handy when she needed to get something done in a hurry! And why didn't Harley have a lackey like that she could boss around? Someone needed to get her a servant – stat!

The demon's eyes, supposedly named Jamrag, went to the piles of poop. With a crack, he disappeared and Harley understood Lady Blaze had not actually struck him with the whip at all. The difference in the sounds was audible, with Lady Blaze's power making a more refined reverberation in the air. He was not as powerful as her and any powers the lesser demon possessed were surely rudimentary, the crack of him teleporting back not catching Harley off-guard that time.

It was interesting, however, to Harley how Lady Blaze seemed to like to dominate those in her realm, but it was clear she had not touched Jamrag with the flaming whip. It remained to be seen whether that was all part of a show for Harley or not there.

When Jamrag reappeared that time, it was with a large shovel clasped between both hands. His face creased and wrinkled as he eyed up the piles, though it was Lady Blaze's pile of poop that seemed to elicit a greater level of disgust from him.

He hid it well and it was only Harley's rather discerning eye that caught what was there. Lady Blaze did not appear to notice as she was already striding away from the demon servant.

Jamrag immediately started shovelling Lady Blaze's large pile of poop into the lava pool. It bubbled and churned as each log sank into it, sometimes a couple at a time. Even though the shovel was big, it was not large enough by any means to get all the way under the first, lengthy poop. It did well enough at handling the others, however.

The biggest poop had to be balanced more carefully on the shovel for Jamrag to adequately flip it into the lava pool, though the demon managed it all the same. He took care of Harley's poop more quickly and efficiently and Harley puffed out her cheeks, wanting to say something to him. Or perhaps she could do something to make his job more difficult. It had been a while indeed since she'd played a poop prank on someone…

“That is much better."

Lady Blaze drew her attention as Harley stepped away. That was probably for the best: messing around with demons down there was most likely going to get her in trouble anyway.

“So, I'm staying the night then?" Harley asked. “That's pretty kind of you, Blazey, to what do I owe the honour?"

Lady Blaze offered her a rare smile. Harley didn't know whether it was genuine or not, although it did not matter all that much. It almost brightened her face to see a smile there, pulling at her lips, yet it was gone as quickly as it appeared.

“Of course, you are my guest here and shall want for nothing," Lady Blaze said smoothly, stepping away. “Come now, my powers are strengthened."

She spread her fingers out, barely even waving her hand through the air as she channelled her magic, opening a smooth, yet crackling portal in midair before her. Harley whistled at it and clapped her hands.

“Yeah, Blazey, get it girl!"

She crowed and whooped. No more walking! Harley Quinn would much rather flip through the air and bounce off buildings, showing off her acrobat skills in the wild. Walking was so overrated, even to her. Yet she always seemed to end up walking somewhere when a mission with the villainesses went awry… It was funny how that happened.

They left Jamrag there to finish taking care of their poop, though Harley looked forward to having food last. Her stomach gurgled as she walked through the portal into Lady Blaze's base, following close on her heels.

“Now, look here, Blazy, I got a few questions for ya," she said, scurrying up alongside her. “You've got to tell me – how did you get your poop so big! I gotta know! And what's with that scrawny little demon? Can you get him to do anything you want? Can I get him to do anything I want? Oh, can I take a demon back with me? I'll take super-good care of them, I promise!"

Lady Blaze shook her head, although she did not appear perturbed or put out by Harley's constant stream of questions in the slightest. There was even a softer edge to her face that had not been there before as they took their leave of the mission and the main reaches of Hell, retreating into the base that was something of a sanctuary to Lady Blaze too.

Their bodily needs had been met, so far, but that didn't mean their day was quite over…

Harley would have to get a message back to the others though, just to make sure they knew she was okay!