FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

While I'll never be able to enjoy my hobbies again, I enjoyed having the ability to fly as we shooted past buildings. We soared through the skies as I followed a scent of death, the strongest was fairly secluded from the rest of the city.

I felt my large scalie tail dragging through the wind, I tended to forget I have one at times. The vegetation increased as we further coasted the edges of the city, we descended down into a forest as the scent of death got closer.

"Say Rose, how do these spirits give off the scent of death? Well, actually maybe it would be better to ask how a reaper's sense of smell works."

Rose hovered to my side, the forest was dense with trees and foliage, full of various dirt patches around the grass that I assumed were trails. Even though I was now immortal, the darkness around the forest invoked a sense of fear within' me.

"I am not too certain myself, but my theory is that it's actually the soul releasing the scent, as it tries to keep the spirit within' itself. Death and life can be viewed as a tug of war... I think, I'm not too sure what mortals participate in at these times."

That seemed like a plausible theory, then again I don't exactly know how souls and spirits work anyways.

"I haven't exactly played tug of war lately, but yes, it's a good analogy. Actually wait, spirits aren't the ones that give off the scent?"

She floated to my front, facing me as she spoke, phasing through the occasional tree or leaf. I could tell we were close to the scent, just what happened for them to end up so close to death?

Rose suddenly shortened the distance between me and her, still floating backwards as we continued conversing.

"While I have lived longer than any other mortal, there's many things that have went unanswered even for me Zane, unfortunately knowledge doesn't just hand itself on a platter. I'm not sure if you could, but I couldn't smell death coming from the lost spirit I reaped. In turn that makes lost spirits a lot harder to find, perhaps reapers are more tuned to finding souls since spirits are so much rarer."

She turned her back to me, her tail swaying as we kept floating, I couldn't help but scan her body everytime she expressed herself. While I'm still a young man, it felt wrong to feel attraction to someone countless times older than me, even if they're dropdead gorgeous.

But maybe those are just my natural desires as someone who was formerly mortal, it was difficult to ignore her athletic build... an hourglass frame with wide hips, and I've always preferred a big bust. But now I thought of something else I didn't exactly want to ask, why do reapers have genitals? She's been the only reaper for who knows how long, so why are they part of her when they don't exactly have a purpose?

I shook my head and decided to focus on what I'm here for, to reap a soul, I'm not here to think about these dirty thoughts. I'm here to understand the process, to understand how and what it's like.

The wind picked up as if to taunt me, I started noticing how cold I was again as the leaves rustled, as the branches oscillated. I could see blood, layed out in scattered pools on the grass and ground.

As we finally made it, I put my left hand on my chest as I saw the victim in question. He sat with his back against a tree, someone had stabbed him in the stomach it appeared. I froze then and there, Rose noticed and went behind me, I turned my head knowing good and well what she was gonna do.

"Wait-"

She nudged me forward in front of the dying man while I spoke, the air was cold enough to tell when he was breathing, he held onto his wound with both his hands applying pressure to it. he appeared to be middle aged, he was a feline beastman with lanky limbs and a thin torso.

His fur was black and he had gray sandals on his feet, he wore a tight pair of jeans and had a purple shirt on. He used a leather jacket to press his wound, his right wrist sported a silver watch.

He appeared to notice that I was here as his head tilted up to look at my face, his green eyes widened, he clenched his jaw as he grunted. But he also appeared to calm down, is this an effect a reaper has?

"Go on Zane, I know you can do it, you're a kind soul. Perhaps you'll be able to relate to him as a former mortal, you'll do well."

I glanced at Rose, if I could express the fear on my face it'd be written all over. But I looked back at the man, surprisingly he stood up to walk towards me, his will was strong.

He grabbed my right arm with his left as he leaned on me for support, I was shaking as he put all his weight on me, if I still had eyes he'd be staring dead at them. I clenched my jaw and tried to calm my emotions, I felt a frog in my throat.

"W-What are you? Where's your face? Are you... the grim reaper?"

I cleared my throat as he questioned me, I didn't know what to say, I was at a loss for words. I just said anything that came to mind, anything that could crack my stiffness.

"H-Hey, no it's... I'm here to-"

The mans grip tightened as he adjusted his footwork, he put his left leg in front for more stability as he went closer to my face. His brows were furrowed, he beared his teeth, he groaned with every breath.

"Are you going to kill me? I don't want to die!"

I wanted to back away, but I couldn't just let him collapse. I put my left hand on his shoulder to keep him steady. I turned my face away from him, I didn't want to see his face, his suffering written all over it.

"I'm not going to k-kill you... alright, but I c-can't... I'm really sorry but, I can't save you."

The man's grip loosened at my words, I turned to look at him as he fell to his knees, I kept him from falling on his face as I moved my right hand to his shoulder. I turned my head away again, I wished I had eyes and eyelids to close, I wish he couldn't see me looking away.

"Then what are you here for?! Are you waiting for me to die? To hear me suffer..."

His voice was raspy, he strained it as he shouted at me, I could understand how he felt. I turned my head back to face him, if I still had teeth my tongue would've been bitten off, I imagined myself taking a deep breath and spoke slowly.

"No... I'm here to help you get through this dark moment. I wish I could save you, I want to save you so badly, I can't. But, what I can do is be here for you."

The man looked at me, tears welling on his eyes as he seemed to accept it. I moved my arms from his shoulders and hugged him, he reciprocated as he sobbed, letting out his final cries as he held on to me. I could feel his strength fading as his arms slipped off my back, and shortly after he phased through me as his body... fell face first to the earth as I saw his spirit disperse.

Rose gasped he she rushed to me, I moved my hands to my horns fidgeting as my emotions stirred up, the gut wrenching sound it made as he fell horrified me. I let out a loud cry as my body faced the sky, I floated upwards until his body was out of view, until I was out of that dreadful forest.

It was traumatizing, it was horrible, all of it. He died, I witnessed a person die in front of me, and I watched his lifeless body hit the ground. I held my tail as I curled up into ball, I was shaking as my feelings became unstable.

I couldn't form tears so I let out grunts and screams, anything to connect to my mortal roots, Rose ascended to me, she floated towards me with her right arm reaching out.

"Are you alright Zane? I'm sorry, I should've let it be known that he'd phase through you once he passed, I know that was a lot to take in but-"

I smacked her hand away as I distanced myself, I stared at her as I mimicked my former cries. I gripped my tail tighter, shaking my head as I felt the cold wind.

"I feel dreadful Rose!"

I yelled at her, whimpering as I succumbed to my feelings, my thoughts. Why did I agree to become a reaper? All I can do is watch them die while telling them it'll be fine, all I can do is see the life leave their eyes.

"I- I don't want to do this, I feel so miserable, I don't want to reap souls... or spirits anymore."

I turned my body away from her, I floated away from any scent of death I could smell, flying towards a mountain as I stayed curled up.

"Child... I mean Zane, I know that was hard for you, souls are always harder to reap. But don't give up on yourself, they need you Zane!"

Rose pleaded with me, but was she saying this for me, or was she saying this because she wanted me to continue being a reaper? No... I don't think she's like that, but her beliefs in me were false. I can't do this, and I won't do it...

"Then who will be there for me... who will be there when I need them? Who will be there to comfort me when my parents are long gone Rose? When I have no one in this world who remembers me?"

I stopped flying as I awaited her reply, maybe she'd give me a good reason. But as the minutes passed by, as the sun peeked through the horizon, she didn't say a thing...

But as I calmed down and regained my composure, maybe now was a good time for me to make a choice. Would I continue to be a reaper, reaping souls for all eternity? Or will I roam around and explore the earth aimlessly?

"I'm going to see my parents, see the house I grew up in, I'll decide what I'll do after that..."

I don't know, I don't know what I'll do, but my parents are still here. I'm not sure if my thoughts and decisions will change, but at the same time, I've only reaped one soul... I've only been a reaper for a few hours.

"Farewell Rose, goodbye."

But for now, I can't reap another soul, for now I can't handle this. I'm not going to just watch people die, I'm not going to watch them suffer and hold on to all the trauma...

"Farewell... Zane"

With my next course of action set in stone... I drifted away from her. I don't know if I'll ever see her again, or whether I'd want to. But what I did know was that I needed time, time to see my parents, time to process the fact that I'll be living for an eternity.