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When Samantha came home that day, I didn't think I would be having mixed feelings. Seeing her again after four years was difficult because Sam and I used to be more than just friends. And when I finally held her in my arms after such a long time, it didn't seem as if anything changed... But the moment Sam and I had a brief moment alone together, was the moment I started to feel uneasy...

When Samantha left Ravello and I had to say goodbye to her, it felt to me as if I had to say farewell. Would we still be more than just friends and pick up where we left off...? Or did I had to build everything from the ground up again, simply because the feelings I once had for her just weren't there...? But the question that worried me the most was: Would Samantha still consider me more than just a friend...? I didn't know how I was able to be around her if it turned out to be any different... And I thought by not having feelings for her anymore would make it so much easier... Truth was, it was a lot harder than I imagined... Because being with her reminded me of the things I once had with Samantha and the thought that I might not have that ever again made it all the more difficult to be around her... I wouldn't be able to handle it if I keep getting reminded of the things I'll never have with her again... It's the reason why I wasn't seeing Terry anymore and I was afraid that the same would happen with Samantha... So what I said to Blain was something I meant... Knowing that I had to say goodbye to her by the end of the week would feel that I'd lose her all over again... Staying friends when there used to be so much more is excruciating... You watch from the sideline how they fall in love with someone other than you... You get to watch how they build up their lives with someone else... So how's it possible to stay friends with her when you know her heart belongs to someone else...? How's it possible to stay friends when you know you're not the one to share your life with that person the way you want to...? Truth is, I wasn't afraid of losing her friendship because Sam would always be there for me... I was afraid of the things that I might do in order to forget the things we once had... And I kept Terry at a distance once he made clear we couldn't be friends... But I doubt it would ever work if stayed friends... I just tried to forget that he was once a part of my life when I realized that staying friends would never work out... And I felt that I was heading the same direction with Samantha... I just didn't know what I wanted from her anymore... Anything, just to reassure me that all was well... But was I expecting? If her return to Ravello wasn't able to bring any of that back, I knew it would be lost forever... And every attempt she'd make to keep our friendship would be pushed off by me, simply because I wouldn't be able to see her anymore...

For the rest of the day, I tried to push those thoughts aside. While we were in downtown Ravello, we visited various shops and when we stopped to sit somewhere, I sat on a bench and watched Blain and Sam from a distance buying ice-cream from a vendor just up ahead... Seeing them getting along with each other made me feel like a third wheel... But Blain and Samantha just picked up where they left off... Chatting, laughing, arsing around just like old times... To him, it was as if she never left. So how come I wasn't able to? How come I wasn't able to flip the switch to stop the thinking? I have a tendency to fuck up whenever I'm thinking too much about things, causing my brain to have a meltdown and makes me say shit to make it worse. And the only way I was able to make it through the day was by putting up fake smiles and pretend all was well... But on the inside, my mind was one big cluster-fuck of emotions which made it more difficult to keep up appearances while Samantha wasn't aware of anything... She thought I was still the same girl she left four years ago... But I knew better than that...

'Ceylan...!'

I got snapped out of it the moment Blain poked me in the waist. Looking up to the left, I saw a young red panda lady standing there, holding a notepad, smiling patiently, waiting for me... Blain on the other hand, didn't look that patient...

'Hm?'

'She's waiting to take your order, you know what you're having?'

'Oh! Yeah, sorry! I'll have the, uhm... Number sixty three, Shimatinizu aaaaand... A number fifty two, Gyo Hire.'

The waitress quickly scribbled my order down on her notepad, thanked me and walked off to the kitchen in the back. I just stared down at my placemat menu, wondering if I didn't make the wrong choice after choosing in a rush. For a second there, I thought I ordered fried mushrooms... I got snapped out of it once more when I heard music playing and a girl on stage started singing. I forgot... Saturday is karaoke night at Ryoshi's... It said so right there on the placemat...

It wouldn't have been the first time I visited Ryoshi's. The three of us came here before and for the sake of old times, I made reservations the week prior to Sam's arrival. The food's actually quite good if you're into sushi and seafood and whatnot. Me? I hate fish... May seem strange for a feline but I guess I'm just peculiar that way. Blain and Sam however, absolutely adore it. Believe me, I'm not a fuzzy eater and I tried it but I really, really don't like any of it... Luckily, they also had a wide range grilled meat which is more to my liking. Can't go wrong with beef skewers and marinated chicken which is exactly what I ordered and I've always enjoyed eating here. But despite the fact that the food was really good, the place didn't really seem that crowded at six o'clock. Most people ignored the young girl singing on stage and kept chatting with each other while the chefs were barking orders around in the open kitchen on the other end of the restaurant... Nevertheless, the girl on stage kept singing... Once the song ended, she looked around and got off stage when she noticed people were hardly paying attention to her... "There's no way anyone is ever getting me up there to sing..."

'God, it's been so long since I've been here. The place hasn't changed a bit.'

'I know, right? Ceylan and I haven't been here ever since you left.'

'Hm?'

'I said, we haven't been here since Sam left.'

'Oh, yeah!'

'You alright there, Ceylan? You seem a little distracted.'

'Naah... I'm just hoping I ordered the right thing.'

'Hehehe... Come on, fish ain't that bad...'

'It really is. Remember what happened when I first tried it?'

'Haha! Your face was priceless!'

'Also, telling me that Wasabi is green mayonnaise was also a dick-move when I first came here with you guys.'

'Haha! Oh yeah! That was the very first time we took you out for sushi!'

'It was all Blain's idea!'

'The hell it was!'

'Is that where that whole Wasabi dare thing came from? Because I honestly can't remember...'

'It was, yeah. We kept daring each other every time we went back.'

'Sam never stood a chance against me.'

'You're just used to spicy stuff, Ceylan.'

'No, that's not spicy anymore. That stuff is hotter than the fiery depths of hell. Seriously, my throat ignited with the power of a thousand supernova's.'

'Hehehe...'

'People were eying us the moment Sam drank water and caused quite a bit of a stir when she realized that the water was making it worse.'

'Haha! I learned something valuable that day... But it was funny as hell.'

'Like that one time where Blain was putting up a puppet show with a small octopus...'

'I wasn't putting up a puppet show!'

'You did silly voices and made it dance with your chopsticks!'

'Haha! That does sound like you, Blain!'

'And he accidentally flung it across the restaurant when he was a bit too eager to put it in his mouth!'

'Hahaha!'

'I told you, my chopstick slipped.'

'Haha! And all of a sudden, some guy went like "Who the hell did that?!"

'Oh man, I had the hardest time holding in my laughter!'

'I'm still amazed that we haven't been kicked out back then.'

'Yeah, we've had some great times here.'

'Absolutely.'

'What made it so great is that we could get away with pretty much everything.'

'Well, not everything. I still remember Sam shoving a garbage bin over Devon's head in high school. She didn't get off the hook.'

'Haha! Seriously, you're ex-boyfriend?! What'd he do to deserve that?!'

'Ha! You've never heard the story before, Blain? Ceylan was right there when it happened.'

'No, you never told me!'

'Alright, well... Basically, he broke up with me because... Well, you know...'

'Uh-huh.'

'And he told me he found a girl who was more "willing". At first, I was pretty upset but then I realized how much of a dick-move that was just for bullshitting some girl to get in her panties.'

'Oh snap.'

'Sooooo when I saw him with this new girl, I walked up to them and told her how much of an asshole he was in front of him and he didn't like that. He started calling me names aaaaand I didn't take that from him. So I shoved a garbage bin over his head to get my point across.'

'Now that sounds like you!'

'I got expelled for a day after pulling off that stunt but it was so worth it...'

'Hehehe...'

'I didn't even plan on doing that. It just happened on the fly when he started calling me names...'

'You've always had a bit of a temper.'

'Me?! Haha, oh come on! I'm not a hothead, Blain! I'm such a sweetheart!'

'No, he's right, you used to be one. Haha, I can vouch for that!'

'Oh, that... Hehehe...'

'Yup... Drawn quite a crowd too...'

'Am I missing something?'

'Did I ever tell you how Sam and I met in high-school?'

'No?'

'Ceylan was bullying my friend and-'

'Hey, hey, hey, I didn't bully her! She accidentally bumped into me and I, kinda, sort of, overreacted.'

'Overreacted?! Haha, that's an understatement!'

'You started pushing!'

'You threw the first punch!'

'Wait, what happened? How'd you guys meet?'

'Ceylan can tell.'

'I was getting something from my locker and this girl accidentally bumped into me when I turned around to walk away. I was real moody that day and I pushed that girl aside as I practically yelled at her to watch where she was going. Samantha saw what happened and stood up for her by asking me what the hell my problem was. I wanted to walk away but Sam stopped and confronted me, even though I'm way taller than her.''

'The girl you picked on was like, way smaller than you.'

'Hell, everyone is smaller than me. I can't help that I'm so ridiculously tall... Anyway, I didn't respond to her when Sam told me to pick on someone my own size and she pushed me again, a little too hard. I lost balance and fell down against the lockers. I got so pissed off by that and took a swing at Sam, hitting her in the face.'

'What, really??'

'Yup... I had a bloody nose...'

'Then what happened?'

'Well, I was so startled seeing her with a bloody nose and wanted to apologize except Sam here was enraged. She leaped up and I barely managed to dodge her but she dented that locker with her jab.'

'Oh wow...'

'I learned that I wasn't the only feline with a short temper that know martial arts. And I learned it the hard way.'

'Sam beat you up?'

'Naaah... But Ceylan and I roughed each other up pretty good... '

'It wasn't just a girly fight... It looked more like the MMA Championship instead. '

'So then what? What happened after the fight?'

'Ceylan and I got broken up and were sent straight to the principals office. And even though she thought that standing up for someone was commendable, she wasn't able to condone the way I acted... So I got expelled for a day. Again...'

'I didn't have to show my face for a week...'

'So how did you two became friends then? I can't imagine how that would work.'

'We waited for our parents to pick us up where we had some time to think.'

'And I've found Ceylan's weakness.'

'What, garlic?'

'Har, har.'

'Haha, no! Chocolate. I bought a Kit-Kat from a vending machine and offered her a piece but she didn't accept.'

'Under normal circumstances I still wouldn't have.'

'Oh please, you were preying on that Kit-Kat.'

'Yeah okay, I admit. I reeeeally wanted a piece but I was too stubborn and refused to accept her peace offering... Sam was the first to apologize and we started talking for a bit until I apologized as well.'

'Hm-mm...'

'Still, I was kind of insulted that you thought I practiced Pencak Silat... Tae Kwon Do doesn't look anything like it...'

'I just tried to strike up a conversation with you.'

'And it's probably the best thing that ever happened to me.'

'So that's how you became friends?'

'Ha! No, not on the spot. After my return, Sam kept bothering me during lunch by looking me up and sat with me at the table, trying to get to know me.'

'I was stalking you.'

'Also, you had a locker in the same hallway so we always bumped into each other. She started acting nice all of a sudden, which only raised my suspicion and I stayed the hell away from her.'

'Ceylan ignored me most of the times but couldn't ignore me once I started sitting with her at the table, trying to break the ice.'

'About the school dance, asking me if I had anyone to go with.'

'You never went to the school dance, only with me once.'

'Yeah, was the only time I've attended. But that's how it all started. Sam came sitting at my table during lunch every time, trying to talk with me and uhm... I eventually started opening up to her. She even invited me to go the gym to spar against each other... I was reluctant to go at first but I'm glad I did...'

'Frank's gym?'

'Yeah... I miss going there...'

'Me too, Sam... Always had a great time there...'

'Hihi... I know I sure did...'

I scraped my throat and smiled nervously when Samantha looked at me after saying that. Blain didn't know as to what Sam was referring to but I sure as hell did... Taking a shower with Sam after a strenuous workout was always something I was looking forward to... To peek at her naked body was something that really made my day... But as to what Samantha was referring to, heh, well... Let's just say I made her first ever experience with a girl something to never forget... Something she still thinks of this very day... That may sound like I'm bragging but hey, the facts don't lie... And I would be lying if I said I wasn't damn proud of it for doing so... But I digress... Blain didn't knew about Sam and me being a little more than friends so he had no idea what Sam and I really meant... He thought we were talking about the gym and not of our sexual experiences with each other... The look on his face almost made me want to blurt it out just to satisfy my own ego but I know Samantha didn't particularly enjoyed talking about her sex-life so I respected her wish... But damn, I was so good in pleasing her... I really take pride in that...

'So yeah, uhm... Sam invited me to Frank's gym where we regularly sparred against each other and that's how we became friends.'

'That's quite the story.'

'Indeed. But you should've seen the fight in high-school, Blain...'

'So many people witnessed it... The whole school talked about it for weeks.'

'Yeah... I felt like a boss going down the hallways...'

'Yup... Some were asking questions as to why we started hanging around with each other.'

'No one ever asked us.'

'Hehehe...'

'Still... You did good, Sam.'

'What do you mean?'

'You always stood up for other people whenever they got bullied in high-school.'

'It happened a lot at Ravensgate and I saw it happening every day. It was simply the only right thing to do, nothing special about what I did.'

'Yeah but you still did when others didn't... That just says a lot about who you are as a person...'

'Hehe...'

'You're kind and gentle, always see the good in others... Even in me...'

'You were just going through rough times, no one blamed you for that.'

'Hey, can I ask you something?'

'Sure.'

'What made you sit with me at the table in the cafeteria? Why'd you try to get to know me...? Because I know I wouldn't have done the same if it were the other way around...'

'In all honesty?'

'Yeah?'

'You seemed lonely. Hardly anyone ever sat with you or bothered to talk to you. And I figured you could use someone to keep you company...'

'Even after what happened...?'

'... Especially after everything that happened between us.'

'Heh...'

'There's always something good hiding inside someone. You just have to find it...'

'It's something I've always thought about and you made me change the way I see things... I'm changed because of that...'

'Awww, come on...'

'No, really, I mean it... Most people don't even bother to but you did... Being with you changed everything... And I know I wasn't the easiest or even the most pleasant girl to be around with but you did... Your friendship has saved me... I wouldn't know what I'd do without you... So... Thank you that you guys have always been there for me ever since I've known you... And this goes without saying but... You know how much you mean to me and I know things haven't always been easy but thank you... Thanks for putting up with me for all these years... I really don't know what I'd do if it weren't for the two of you...'

'Heh...'

'I love you guys so much...'

Sam and Blain were silent for a moment as the two of them were looking at me with a smile... To have had them with me that day is something I can't explain up to this day... I got a little choked up the moment I poured my heart out to them... To me, it felt as if I never said enough to let them know how much they mean to me... No matter what I'd say, nothing would ever come close to what I really mean... I wasn't able to express it in words... The only way for me to show them what they truly mean to me was by doing something not everyone would understand... Perhaps my way of showing wasn't the proper way or even considered common among friends... But to me, it was the only way I knew... You'll inevitably get your feelings hurt if you go that way... It's a choice you'd make... And if you'd ask me, it felt like it was the only choice that ever mattered to me in my life... The only one I was ever fully in control of... You'll have to watch how they build up a life with someone else but at least I've been together with them the way I wanted to... And no one could ever take that away from me... As long as they know what they mean to me, no matter where our roads might lead us... Even when the feelings may not be mutual...

I felt a tear going down my cheek the moment I spoke up my mind about them... Blain just smiled while looking at me while Sam started to choke up a little as well... It didn't take long before a tear was rolling down her cheek as well...

'Awwwww, that's so sweet of you to say, Ceylan. You're gonna make me cry...'

'It's true... You used to tell me that changes doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing... People always say that you shouldn't change who you are but aren't those changes needed in order to become a better person...? To live a good life...?'

'Yeah...'

'You made me realize that... It took many years but... I couldn't have turned my life around if it weren't for you guys...'

'It's what we're here for.'

Blain stayed unusually quiet once I started to speak up my mind... All he did was listening and nodding and when I faced him, he looked at me for a moment, thinking things through... And then he started to speak up his mind...

'You're right... It's exactly why we're here for. I mean, when I got back from Sercia, there weren't a lot of people waiting for me. I came home after being away for such a long time, only to find out that most of my friends have moved on. Trying to get back in touch with them felt like they were all strangers, saying that I've changed after my deployment in Sercia.'

'Yeah...'

'I often thought about how much I changed over the years but I guess I'm just not the guy I used to be, you know? I know I have my setbacks but they just didn't know how to cope with that... People tend to avoid that... And they all just abandoned me when I needed them the most...'

'Heh...'

'So I honestly can't say how much it means to me to know that Ceylan was there for me when I came home... You waited for me, unlike everyone else... We enjoyed our good moments together and pulled each other through bad times when no else would... I can't put a price on that... But there hasn't been a day gone by where I wasn't thankful to have you two be a part of my life... You both mean the world to me and I love you all so very much...'

As it stayed silent for another moment, Sam just smiled and took both our hands as she looked at us... The more we spoke up our minds, the more emotional things got. And I could see that we were all touched by the things that have been said... I didn't know where it all came from but I felt the need to let them know how much they mean to me... And apparently, so did Blain... Sam scraped her throat and looked away for a moment...

'Well, since we're all pouring our hearts out, I'd like to say something too... It's been four years since we've all been together and a lot of things have changed before we all went our separate ways... And yet here we are, all together again... But I guess it was just a matter of time before we'd all find our way back to each other...'

'Yeah...'

'A lot of things happened during those four years... Good things, bad things... Blain was gone for two years, I was gone for four years and Ceylan stayed put, waiting for our return... We all had to deal with something on our own... I've had moments that I was so happy and wanted to share it with you guys more than anything... But I've also had my moments where I cried my eyes out and had no shoulder to lean on... Those were the most difficult times...'

'I know you've been home-sick...'

'Yes, absolutely... I missed my family, my friends, I missed you two... I tried so hard to blend in and make the best of it but making new friends never felt the same after you and Blain... Even though I've got a lot of friends over there, I've never felt more lonely...'

'You've got David, right...?'

'Not anymore, no...'

'How so?'

'We broke up two months ago...'

'What?? You never told me that! Why, what happened??'

'Do you remember when I told you David became distant with me?'

'Yeah?'

'I talked to him about it. David was planning to go home... And I couldn't come with him... Even if I could, I can't leave everything behind to live with him on the other end of the country... So we decided to break up...'

'Oh, honey...'

'Ignoring me was his way to deal with it, to forget that I ever existed in order to move on...'

'Why'd you never tell me...?'

'You've had your own problems to worry about, Ceylan... I didn't want to bother you with mine... But I knew that day would've come eventually... David always said he wanted to go home after graduation and I can't blame him for that... I didn't know what I'd expected from him to ease the pain... But I can understand...'

'Heh... Even if he ignored you after you two broke up...?'

'David changed because he had to... If he let his feelings for me get in the way, he'd never be able to let go... I couldn't expect him to come home with me to Ravello... And I can't imagine myself building up a new life with him all the way in Woodbury when I've got my own life right here... Which is why we had to let each other go...'

'I'm so sorry to hear that...'

'It's okay... The thing is, I've known David for almost three years but I never expected that he got over me so quickly... I got over it myself eventually but it hurt my feelings for the way he acted...'

'I can't imagine he didn't felt the same about it...'

'I'm sure it did... Which is why I'm not holding anything against him... But I've felt lonely for quite a while and coming back feels as if I've never left... So yeah... It's good to be with you guys again... It's good to be home...'

Sam looked at us and smiled weakly the moment she took our hands and held on to... Neither of us knew what to say after things got a little emotional after we poured our hearts out... These kind of things usually go without saying but I suppose all of us felt the need to say it... I guess we've all been through things that made us think about the people around us and how much they mean to us... And like most things, it's something that cannot be held for granted... So it's good to know what you still have and be grateful for that... We were all looking at each other without saying a word for a while until Blain broke the silence...

'We've all had our roughs times... And sometimes you're so caught up, its easy to forget the people who are still around you.'

'Heh... Yeah, imagine... Now it's just the three of us...'

'It just goes to show who your real friends are...'

'Exactly...'

'Even though its not always easy to move forward, sometimes its good to stop and look back... Not to see the things that get left behind but rather to see how far you've come... Only then will you be able to look ahead and see how far you still have to go...'

'Yeah...'

'It's a long and difficult path I follow ever since I got back from Sercia... But I know I don't have to travel that road alone... I know you guys will always be here for me, no matter what... So in honor of that, I'd like to raise my glass to those who are still with us.'

'To those who've seen us at our best and at our worst yet never judged.'

'To those loved and lost...'

'Here's to us...'

We raised our glasses and clinked... Quietly, we took a sip as the three of us looked down, carried away in thoughts... I looked at Blain and he seemed so lost... He was looking the other way as it stayed silent for a while... But I knew exactly what was going through his mind... I know he missed his friend Jason dearly... Even though I never met him, Blain often mentioned him during his time in the military... Jason was only twenty one years when he died in a foreign land while he should've been with his family... The evening I found Blain in the park was the only time in his life where he talked about it... I saw how he got torn apart when he told me his story... That he was right next to him when it happened... And in some way, I can relate... I've seen some fucked up shit no one is ever supposed to witness as well... Sometimes I wonder how I was ever able to keep it all together... It sure as hell wasn't on my own... Blain and Sam were the ones who always got me through... And if it weren't for them, I probably would've ended my life many years ago... But fate decided differently and gave me them to build on... And I've been finding my way ever since... And like Blain said, it's a path I'm not traveling alone... So I held his hand and he faced me the moment I did... And the moment I stared in his eyes, he gently squeezed my hand and smiled...

'Well said...'

'Hehe...'

'Usually, your speeches are a lot less serious in nature...'

'I can be serious from time to time, Ceylan...'

'I know but I'd rather see you happy...'

'I'm alright, that's why I'm here with you guys to have a good time... It just had to be said...'

'Yeah...'

'Speaking of having a good time: what's the plan after dinner? We haven't discussed that yet.'

'I don't know, what do you guys wanna do?'

'It's your night, Sam, you tell us.'

'You guys feel like hanging out at our old spot tonight? I always loved to go there...'

'The lagoon? Sure, Ceylan and I still go there every weekend.'

'Or do you guys rather want to grab a drink somewhere or go see a movie or...?'

'Naaah, it's fine.'

'Ceylan?'

'Sure, we'll go there. Oh, there he is again.'

'Who?'

'That guy on stage. He sang when we entered the place and now he's about to sing again. He's actually quite good.'

'Oh! Which reminds me... Remember your promise on our last evening here together?'

'Eh?'

'We'd sing together next time we'd visit this place!'

'Oh crap, I knew it...!! I knew there was something off when I made reservations...! I should've booked for sunday!'

'Haha! We're sooo gonna do this, Ceylan!'

'No, please, noooo! I can't sing to save my life! I have a terrible singing voice!'

'But you promised!'

'I didn't actually think you'd keep me to that promise! I thought you'd forgotten about it by now!'

'You never went up there! Come on, it'll be fun!'

'Have you ever heard me sing?? I sound like a duck getting ass-invaded!'

'Please?!'

'Haha, nooo! Please don't let me do this! I'm so terrible at singing! '

'So is Blain but that never stopped him!'

'People laughed with me, not at me! There's a difference!'

'So would you sing with me then later on?'

'Sure, depending if I'm still sober by the time we're gonna sing.'

'See? Blain's okay with it!'

'I can never show my face in this establishment ever again if I do!'

'Tell you what. Do the Wasabi challenge thing with me. If you win, you don't have to but if I win, you're coming on stage with me.'

'You're on! Oh hey, food's here!'

Luckily, at that moment, the waitresses brought us our orders. I caused a distraction Sam so that she'd hopefully forget about me going up the stage with her to sing. Anyway, one by one, the plates were served to us. Even thought I don't like sushi for one bit, I must say it looked quite delicious. But none of them looked as delicious as my beef skewers... The moment I received my plate, the beef was still sizzling in its marinade and its scent was absolutely delicious. I wanted to dig in seeing as I was quite hungry but then my second dish was served... It didn't look like meat at all... The waitress already bounced off before I could even ask her what this dish was. There's probably been a mistake or something. Instead of doing the sensible thing and actually taste to see what it is, I poked it with my chopstick and wondered what it was. Blain leaned over and looked at it as well.

'What's wrong?'

'I think I got the wrong dish.'

'Doesn't look like it was once part of a sentient being.'

'And they sure as hell don't look like chicken nuggets either.'

Sam picked one from the plate with her chopsticks and started to eat it. And once she swallowed it, Sam picked another one and ate it.

'They're quite good, actually.'

'What is it?'

'Fried mushroom!'

'... Really?'

'Number sixty three, Shimatinizu?'

'... Yeah?'

'Those are fried mushrooms.'

'... Oh.'

'Here, try it! They're good!'

"Oh God..." Like I said, I'm not a fuzzy eater but I'm really not into mushrooms... Guess that'll teach me to order something in a hurry... Sam kept looking at me while holding a fried mushroom with her chopsticks right in front of my nose, patiently waiting for me to take the bite. I wasn't hesitating to take the bite because I didn't like mushrooms but it was because it didn't exactly looked appetizing... The shape resembled like a broccoli gone stale with this vomit colored crust... And I believed Sam that it was delicious, I just didn't want any of that in my mouth. Even Blain looked at it with a frown... "Five more of 'em..." They actually charge you when you don't finish something you've ordered so I'd probably have to anyway... "Here it goes..." That first crunch, oh God... I suppose it's a matter of taste but I found it to be disgusting... The crust was okay but once I tasted the mushroom itself, it tasted like raw uncooked meat and it was as if I was chewing on rubber... I tried my best to chew it to the far side corner of my mouth just so that I wouldn't taste it... Needless to say, Sam and Blain were in stitches after seeing me pulling funny faces... It took a good five minutes before I could swallow it and quickly chucked my glass of cola down just to wash the flavor away... Luckily, by the time I was finished with that one mushroom, Sam already ate the rest of them and smiled... Bless her, she's such a good friend...

We've had six rounds of food until all of us were stuffed and couldn't eat anymore. Every time we ordered, I carefully read the description so that I wouldn't make the same mistake again. All along, I've had meat and while Sam and Blain had all different kinds of sushi. We had a great time while we were eating, catching up on old times and laughing our asses off as we reminisced the past... But once we got stuffed, the conversation died off as we were basking in the afterglow of the wonderful meals that were served... Instead, we were watching people on stage singing... Some were good, others were, well... Not so good... Nevertheless, the people who listened didn't seem to mind. It didn't matter if you were good or bad, everyone was having a good time regardless... But still, the thought of me getting up there to sing petrified me... Not only because I'm a terrible singer but standing in front all of those people making an ass of myself was something I wasn't very keen on... The three of us were watching people sing until all of a sudden, Blain shoved a bowl containing Wasabi in the middle of the table...

'It's time, ladies!'

'Alright! Bring it on!'

'I've won all of them so far, Sam, this time won't be any different!'

'We'll see!'

'Okay ladies, remember the rules. Scoop a bit with your chopstick and make sure the size of the Wasabi are equal. Either of you can up the stake by scooping up more Wasabi but they have to be equal at all times. There can be no drinking or eating anything to soften the taste. The one with the most bites win.'

'Ready!'

'Know what's at stake, Ceylan.'

'I got this, no problem.'

'Alright... Begin!'

And so we did... We carefully scooped a bit of Wasabi and Blain kept a watchful eye to see if they were about the same size. It looked like a small green pellet on my chop stick and Sam and I ate it at the same time... "Oh geez..." Already I felt my throat burning the moment I swallowed but so far so good... Round two... Made sure it was the same size again and ate it... Head started to feel a little hot... Round three... I upped the stake by scooping up more Wasabi on my chopstick... Sam looked surprised that I did but went with it... Taking a bite, forehead started sweating... Round four... This time, Sam upped the stake and I went with it... Cheeks started to burn... Round five... I looked at Sam who's head was all red and sweaty and her eyes were watering but still seemed to be fine when she grinned right back at me... So I upped the stakes some more by scooping up more Wasabi than the last round and Sam went along with it... I shouldn't have done that... My throat started to ignite and the tears were going down my face... Scraping my throat only seemed to make it worse but I was holding it together... Sam took the bite as well and for a moment there, it seemed like she was holding it together as well but a short moment later, she reached out to some leftover rice and started munching it down to soften the spiciness...

'Whoohoo, I win!'

'Geez, how the hell do you do that?!'

'Daijirian gastronomy, my dear.'

'None of it is as spicy as this!'

'No but it certainly helps.'

'Hehehe...'

'Now pass me the rice because I feel like I'm about to ignite.'

Once Sam had her fair share of rice, I quickly chugged some down as well to soften the taste. And since I won, I didn't have to be on stage. I used my napkin to wipe my forehead and once Sam and I recovered from our little competition, Sam looked at Blain and then over at the karaoke machine on stage, nodding her head to it to give the hint... Blain smiled nervously but since he wasn't responding to her hint, Sam just asked him...

'You feel like singing yet?'

'Ha! I'm not drunk enough to do such a thing!'

'Awww, but you promised! Don't back down now!'

'... Do I have to dance as well?'

'Uh, if you want.'

'I'd rather not because people will think I'm having a spastic seizure and call an ambulance on me.'

'Haha! Awww, come on... You don't have to dance, I promise... It'll be fun!'

'Damn it, I can't say no to you... Ceylan, you coming too?'

'Nope, I won the challenge, I'm sitting this one out! Have fun!'

'You said you'd always have my back! Don't back out on me in my time of need!'

'I'll root for you! Offer moral support from my seat! Giving off positive vibes! You can do this, I know you can!'

'Come on, Blain! Let's go!'

Sam got up from her seat and dragged Blain over on stage where Sam was browsing the machine for a song... Blain didn't really seem reluctant once he got on stage... He simply just didn't give a shit as long as he could have fun... So why should I if its keeping me from having a good time...? That's always been my problem... I came to a point in my life where I managed to turn so many things around for myself and yet there still so many things to overcome... It's never been easy and no one ever claimed otherwise... Some simply struggle more than others... I looked on stage and saw how Sam and Blain were standing there... They also had their own problems to overcome... But they didn't do that alone... I think the reason why the three of us were so close was because we could relate to each other in different ways... To experience things that shape us and changes your perception on the world and the people around you... Not all of those experiences were pleasant but it makes you grow as a person as you make your own choices in life... In all these years I wanted to blame someone, or something but truth is, it's just the way it is... And I can't say why all those bad things happened to me... I can only say that it helped shape me into the person I am today because I dared to open my heart up to others after it's been closed for so many years... And that's exactly what I felt that day... My heart opening up a little bit more...

The unmistakable sound of bass guitars playing an all too familiar tune rung across the restaurant when Blain and Sam stood on stage, about to perform a duet together... It's always been such a pleasure to hear Sam sing... I looked at her on stage and her green luscious eyes just twinkled as a nervous smile appeared on her face once the music started playing... I often heard Sam sing in the shower whenever we were spending the nights together... And at times like that, I could easily sit down and listen to her beautiful singing... Her voice can be so powerful and so full of emotion when she's singing the right song... I remember going out to town with Sam a couple of years ago and we came across a street artist playing "Tears in heaven" by Eric Clapton... She stopped and asked the guy if she could sing along with him, which she did... And when she started singing, well... It hit close to home... It moved me to tears... She drew quite the crowd and this guy's donation box got filled to the brim in just a couple of minutes... Some people were in tears like I was, others were just downright excited... But that's the beauty of it... It had a different meaning to everyone... To me, I got taken back in time for a couple of minutes, to a time where I still had my family... To remember the good things I've had and to know that they'll be waiting for me somewhere... But most of all, it reminded me that I was loved dearly by them... And if someone manages to do that by singing a song, it says a lot about that person... But I suppose that's just who she is... Sam is a good, kind-hearted soul that looks out for others, especially for those she cares for... It's one of the many things that made me fall in love with her all these years ago... And right now, seeing and hearing her again, could make me fall in love with her all over again...

Blain wasn't that bad as he claimed to be but Sam definitely stole the show... The two of them were constantly smiling at each other and they've had so much fun up there on stage... They were actually quite good... And I just kicked back in my seat smiling and was quietly muttering the lyrics along while the two of them were singing... But Sam stole the show once they got to the bridge of the song...

"Since you've gone I've been lost withooouuut a trace. I dream at night, I can only see your face. I look around but it's you I caaaan't replace. I feel so cold and I long for your embrace. I keep crying, Baby, baby, pleeeeeeease..."

I had a huge smile on my face after hearing that... Samantha nailed it, she absolutely fucking nailed it... Every tone, every note and every pitch was just spot on and it was such a pleasure to have heard her sing again... Once the song ended, people applauded and I saw them standing there, ever so proud, high-fiving each other and hugged... Sam looked at me with that beautiful smile of hers and gestured to come up as Blain was browsing the karaoke machine for a second song... I stayed seated at first but Sam insisted that I joined them up there on stage, just to have fun... But I never did before even though she asked me many times in the past... Not because I was a terrible singer but because I was afraid of what people may think of me if I did, which is one of the many examples of why I was held back... It's the reason why I never approached people, why I never made new friends or went out simply because I was too afraid... Step by step, I managed to throughout the years but I realized I still had a very long way to go... But at some point in your life, you gotta ask yourself what's holding you back... What keeps you from having fun, what keeps you from saying the things you want to say...? What's keeping you from being with your loved ones...? Why should it matter to you what people may think of you...? I know I've asked this myself many times before but never was able to find an answer until that night, when I saw Blain up there on stage singing and not giving damn... Someone's opinion of you doesn't always have to be bad... Sure, some may think he's terrible singer... But some may also think that he has balls for going up there to sing... So it doesn't matter what you do... People will always have an opinion about you, whether it's positive or negative... And with that in mind, why should that keep you from doing it...? I always thought that caring about other people's opinion would make me a better person... But truth is, it turned me bitter because it was never good... And even if it was good, it wasn't good enough... I tried to live up to people's expectations throughout my life... Maybe they expected too much or maybe they thought I was someone else... So there's no point in being someone others expect you to be... And when Samantha looked at me and gestured me to come up there, I realized that she knows who I am... She just tried to get through to her, to the real me... "It's not about how you sing... It's about having fun... With her..." So I got up and walked towards the stage when the music just started its intro... Sam and Blain were cheering when they saw me approaching so I climbed up on stage and stood next to them... And it felt amazing to be up there... It really did... The three of us looked at each other and started to sing "Everybody knows" by John Legend... It couldn't have been more of a perfect song... And even though going up stage to sing in front of a bunch of people may seem insignificant but it meant the world to me... Because to me, it meant that I was no longer trying to live up to other people's expectation... I'm a terrible singer and that's exactly what they get, it's all they'll ever expect... It didn't make me hold back anymore after realizing that... It's like that with everything... And like most things, it's a matter of perspective, you just gotta see things in a different light... Because to me, it meant that I had one less of a fuck to give...