The Quest for the Holy Dildo #11

Story by bluedraggy on SoFurry

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#14 of Holy Dildo

The 7000 Steps or... Sermon on the Mount.

In which a lot of talking happens. And a lot of walking. Some pretty scenery. No one has a single orgasm though.


| "Is it really 7000 steps?" Faniel asked.

"Well, that's what they say. Feel like counting them?" Sampson answered as they stood at the base of the Throat of the World and looking up at the daunting Steps. He was clad in fur now, having spent some of their gold on new, more appropriate clothing for the climb.

Faniel laughed. "No, not really. I guess we'd best just get started."

"Do you know anything about these Greybeards?" Devilah asked Sampson as they began to climb. | image | | "Not much. Just what I've been told. They're supposed to have some sort of fortress up near the top. They're pretty reclusive I guess. They have some sort of 'Shout' magic that they can teach though. Ivarstead has some regulars that take them supplies routinely and they meet with pilgrims who climb the 7000 Steps."

"And they're all men?" Devilah asked.

"Why? Anticipating a target-rich environment?" Sampson laughed. | image | | "Well, they must be lonely up there all by themselves, right?"

"Sounds like a monastery," Faniel offered. "We have monks in the place I come from. They may be celibate."

Sampson scoffed, "I can't imagine what they'd have to celebrate up their with just other old men around!"

"'CELIBATE'", Faniel enunciated. "It means they don't have sex."

"Oh! I did that for a while. It's not all it's cracked up to be," Sampson said.

"Don't I know it!" Devilah agreed. | image | | "If that is the case, Devilah, you may want to tone down your sexuality a bit. Some will be weaker than others to your... charms. You could probably get donations from all of them if you try, but they'll end up feeling they've broken their vows."

"Not much of a vow if they're ready to 'donate' to any hot tail that comes their way," pointed out the Succubus.

"Vows are pretty fragile things, Devilah. But they are important to those who make them, even if they are pointless. They're a test of willpower. Control over one's own nature. I respect those who make them, even if I also see them as mostly silly." | image | | They stood up to continue on their climb. Sampson and Faniel talked, but Devilah found herself lost in thought at the words of the Angel.

"They say it gets very cold up farther, Faniel. I know how efficient Devilah's fur is, but other than your wings, your body is pretty much human. Are you sure you don't need something to wear?" Sampson asked Faniel seriously.

"Thank you for your concern, Sampson, but I assure you, cold doesn't affect me in the slightest."

"We could stop before we get to the Greybeards too if you can get a good feel for the dildo's location. We don't have to go all the way you know."

"Yeah. And I very well might be able to. But these Greybeards sound very interesting. I'd kind of like to meet them. I think... I think I'm supposed to for some reason." | image | | The scenery changed and the sky grew grey as they climbed and the wind began to pick up. Soon they passed the first flakes of snow.

"Faniel. Can you tell me more about these monks in the world you come from?" Devilah asked, breaking her silence.

"Certainly! They're people who are very devoted to their Faith, Devilah. Sometimes they get the particulars wrong, but they want to devote their lives to it. They feel that anything that gets in the way of that is a distraction. So they give up those things that they feel are worldly to live life in a way that they feel is more... attuned to their beliefs. The monasteries are places that like-minded devotees gather and work out their own way of life." | image | | "So they are ultra-religious then?" Devilah asked.

"Some are. Others just seek a higher state of conciousness. Or even just the company of other like-minded people. Not all remain so throughout their lives either, but it's rare for any to regret the choice, even if later they leave the cloister."

"Cloister?" Devilah asked.

"Sorry Devilah. We have a lot of odd words for such things. Just... if they leave the community later, they usually still retain some dedication to the beliefs that led them to it. Some go on to become friars - people that try to spread their beliefs to others. Depending on their beliefs, they can be very powerful forces for good in my world."

"Do they always go against nature?" Devilah asked, finding the topic oddly fascinating. | image | | "No, not at all. It may be hard for you to understand, but many are quite... naturalistic. Believing that to be in harmony with nature is a central tenent of their faith."

"But they hate sex?" Devilah asked, confused.

Faniel laughed heartily.

"They don't hate sex, Dev. Well, most don't. Sampson didn't hate sex when he was trying to be celibate. It's just their way of mastering their own bodies. Though, admittedly, that may not be true of all. Some probablty do. Even among monks, there are wide ranges of beliefs. But most do it as a way of learning control. There are some who practice silence too. Since these seem to base their faith around this 'Shout' magic, I'd not be surprised if they have some similar tendency related to vocalization." | image | | They had climbed high up the mountain by this time, but it's peak seemed to be just as far above them. The trail did not lead steadily around the mountain, but wound back on itself at times, while at others it followed natural features of the mountain. The steps they trod were ancient, seeming to be part of the mountain itself. Yet in places they were obviously recently re-worked or added to. Marker stones and shrines of a sort also appeared along they way, and they stopped to read them. Finally they came to the edifice known as High Hrothgar. There was no sound or movement however.

"Maybe they're all on vacation?" Sampson offered nervously, trying his best not to look at Faniel in her current position and failing miserably.

"It's as I thought," Faniel said, reading the tenth stone aloud that ended the 7000 steps. "'The Voice is worship. Follow the Inner path. Speak only in True Need.' I don't think there will be much conversation ahead."

"Um... Faniel..." Devilah said, once she noticed where Sampson's attention was focused.

"Oh. Sorry," Faniel apologized, standing up. "I keep forgetting about... men." | image | | Devilah laughed. "And I can't forget about them! But... if they practice Silence, then maybe they're not celibate?"

Faniel shrugged. "Maybe. Maybe not. The two aren't mutually exclusive. But remember, Devilah, they're old men at any rate. They're not likely to be much interested regardless of any vows."

Devilah looked up at the tower and walls in front of them. "If they've made such a vow, Faniel, I'll honor that and keep my hands off. But if not..."

Faniel chuckled, "Step aside Rogaine and Cialis, Devilah has come to town!"

"Dieties from your world?" Sampson asked.

"Aphrodisiacs. Come on, let's go meet these Greybeards." | image

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