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Here's the first little installation in a series I began a while back, approximately 1-2 years ago, while I was coping with some heavy depression. Now, this was before I had delved very far into the furry world, so it may sound pretty cliched. But it's what I felt like writing, and I've liked how it's come out after ample self-revision. I hope you enjoy! --Nathaniel (P.S. If there's any character names/locales/events/etc. that bear a strong resemblance to one of your works, I apologize strongly and assure that it's coincidential. Happy reading!)

Chapter One- More Than Friends by Nathaniel Nocturne

Jamie awoke to the shrill whining of his alarm clock. The young fox groaned, and fumbled for the snooze button with an outstreched paw. He turned on the lamp and squinted at the assult of the incandescent bulb. Sitting up, Jamie stretched, and yawned.

With returning consciousness came a leaden depression, a cold and spreading poison through his mind. He sighed, shivering, remembering one of the many things that was putting him down.

"No refuge from sadness in my dreams." Jamie thought to himself. He could recall it vividly.

Jamie was on a dark, rainy street, a miserable night in some urban area. He was running, breathless, absolutely terrified. Rounding a corner, the fox was face-to-face with a fatal dead end. Behind him were the the furious, wild shouts; the bears were hunting him.

"KILL THAT FUCKING FAGGOT!" Jamie's ears were assaulted, then his body. He was trapped. They held him down, massive fists slugging his face, his stomach, anywhere vulnerable. It wouldn't end. Jamie had tried to scream, but he had no strength. Pitiful, quiet whimpers escaped his lips; all he could feel was pain. Suddenly, the blows stopped, and he was left alone, laying in a pool of his own blood. Nobody found him, nobody helped him. The alleyway melted, and the ravenged fox was laying in a vast expanse of ice, completely alone, his heart being frozen to the core.

Jamie sat on his bed, shaking, a tear running down his cheek. The pain hadn't been real, it had all evaporated when he awoke. But the screams tore at his mind, they had hurt the most. They seemed to echo endlessly. The fox rocked back and forth, holding himself, nude. Jamie never wore pajamas, but now he wished he had; he felt so vulnerable. The screams had genuinely stung him, as though someone had actually said them.

He stood, feeling cold, and dressed for the school day. Jamie was 17 years old, fairly tall for a fox. He was colored mostly a burned orange except for a streak of white that reached from his upper chest down to his inner thighs, widest around his stomach. His paws, all four, were white, as well as the tip of his tail. Lean muscles had formed beneath his fur, but didn't show; his coat was fairly thick. Normally he came off as thin and undefined, but looks decieved. Jamie enjoyed running, but never went out for track because he didn't like the competition. Locker rooms made him nervous, even dressing for gym class had been hard.

Jamie selected a small, black Green Day tee and some rumpled jeans from the pile on his floor. Blinking, he stared at his reflection in the mirror, seeing depressed, solemn eyes staring back. School was getting harder and harder to face, and today was the worst yet. Not that staying home was any better, where he was left to wallow in his feelings.

"At least it's a Friday." He said aloud, quietly.

Gathering up his school things, Jamie pushed open his bedroom door and walked downstairs. Dropping his backpack and instrument case in the living room, he headed over to the kitchen for some toast.

"Good morning, Jamie. Sleep well?" Kris, his mother, smiled over her newspaper. She was slim, short, and colored about the same as Jamie.

"Mmm..."

"Sorry, too early?"

"Mmm..."

Jamie finished quickly, and grabbed the paper bag on the counter. As he left for school, his mom called out, "Have a good day! Love you."

"Love you too, mom..."

He hurried to the car, the April rain pouring mercilessly. Jamie sat in the driver's seat for a moment before starting it up, composing himself. He could literally feel himself shaking, like he'd become unglued any minute. Everything had been bottled up too long, and now it was taking its toll. Finally, Jamie backed the car out of the driveway, and set off for school through the dreary weather. It wasn't helping his mood, but it sure matched.

Dingy puddles splashed as he entered the student parking lot, stopping in the usual space. He rushed into the building, wanting to stay as dry as possible. Wet fur was dreadfully unpleasant when cold. Entering the main foyer, his eyes picked out a completely white wolf, dressed in tan cargo shorts and a tight-fitting black tee shirt. Paul. He was taller than Jamie, and fairly muscular. Soccer and basketball were his sports, and he was pretty popular around the school. However, Paul was not the typical jock. He and Jamie had been best friends since he'd moved in during the third grade, a few blocks down from Jamie's house. They hung out whenever they could, and had a ton of things in common, like music, books, video games and other things.

"Hey, Jamie!"

"Hi, Paul."

"Um, you okay? You look kinda depressed."

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just tired." Jamie lied, feeling awful. "Let's get to class before Mr. Jarvis chews us out."

They walked to band class in silence, and Paul could tell that Jamie was definitely not okay. The fox's eyes were downturned and unfocused, and he could almost see the struggle inside of Jamie.

'I need to tell someone, I NEED to, but...I can't...Who? How would Paul take it? I just can't...God, it hurts...' Jamie was lost in thought, knowing he'd soon break down if he kept it hidden any longer. Paul and Jamie could always confide in each other, a strong trust had formed over time. However, Jamie was afraid of this one thing, afraid their friendship would change for the worse if he told. But it also felt as though he was lying to his friend, and Jamie felt all the worse. It was so complicated.

Both of them were in band class; Paul playing trumpet and Jamie on alto saxophone. They had both been playing music since the beginning of middle school, and it was one of the few classes they had together. During rehearsal, Paul kept looking over at his friend, worried.

Jamie was missing a lot of notes, and he looked ready to cry. He had noticed that Jamie hadn't seemed so great for the last few weeks, but today was an all-time low.

After rehearsal, they parted, having no more morning classes together. Jamie didn't pay attention during his classes, all of his energy was devoted to keeping himself together. Some of his other friends had noticed the deterioration of his mood, and asked how he was.

"Damn it, Tré, I said I'm fine! Just...drop it..."

"Dude, sorry! I'm worried about you, okay? If you wanna talk..." Tré was another fox, but shorter than Jamie, and he had a brownish coat. They had known each other for a few years, through school, and were pretty good friends.

"Sorry, Tré, I've just been so...depressed, lately...I don't really want to talk about right now. I feel like I'm gonna burst...I dunno..." Jamie wasn't sure about Tré either; who could he turn to?

The rest of the morning was a blur, and finally the lunch bell rang. Jamie left the art classroom and crossed the hall to his locker, Paul joining him a couple minutes later. The rain had stopped, and they were walking down the hall to the back exit for the soccer field, where they usually ate lunch. Then it happened. Jamie and Paul were talking absentmindedly when the fox accidentally collided with a massive lion, the varsity quarterback. Both a rich kid and a jock, Cole disliked, to say it nicely, anyone that wasn't on his level.

"Watch it, you fucking faggot!" Cole pushed Jamie aside, and stormed off.

"God, he's such a douchebag-- uh, Jamie?" Paul stared at the fox, surprised.

Jamie had gone rigid upon hearing Cole's words. They had opened up the festering wounds from the dream, and cut even deeper. It was meant as a mere insult, but it had an entirely different meaning to Jamie. His face held a pained anguish as he turned to Paul, tears welling up. The secret was out.

Pushing past his best friend, Jamie ran, out the door, struggling not to cry. He sprinted across the saturated soccer field, making for the woods that bordered much of school campus.

Paul was left standing, dumbfounded. Why would Jamie be so bothered by a stupid little insult? 'Is Jamie...gay? He looked truly hurt when Cole said "fucking faggot".' The wolf composed himself, and followed out the door, jogging at a much slower pace than the fox had taken. 'Jamie never seemed gay. Why did he run? Is he afraid of...me?'

Reaching the trees, Paul slowed to a walk. He was hesitant, not sure how to approach Jamie when he found him. The fox's footprints lingered a little in the soggy ground, and the white wolf followed.

Jamie was curled up, almost in a sitting fetal position, crying his delicate, shattered heart out, face in his paws. He was sitting against a tree, his backpack lying forotten a few feet away on the bed of pine needles covering the little grove he had found. The sobs shook his small body, he hurt so much. Depression, lonliness, fear, and misery were jumbled togther, formed into a knife of sharp, emotional pain. The wound it slashed was deep, bleeding profusely as tears and distraught cries. Paul stopped at the edge of the grove, still unnoticed. Setting down his pack and lunch, he padded gently, slowly over to Jamie.

The fox's ears twitched as they heard the rustling needles, and he looked up, scared. He watched Paul approach slowly, a sick feeling settling in his abdomen.

"Go...away...." Jamie whimpered, then started sobbing again. He was pushing away his best friend, the person that was closer to him than anybody else, and he cried all the harder.

Paul settled on the ground next to Jamie, and looked over at his friend. "Please don't push me away, Jamie. You havn't been...yourself, for a while, and I've been worried. I just wanna talk, okay?"

Jamie raised his head a little, his brown eyes watery and red. "...Okay..."

"Um, I heard what Cole said, and it really bothered you. So, are you really, um...gay?" Paul treaded carefully, not wanting to upset his friend any further.

"...yeah...I..." The hot tears welled up again, dripping more readily than before, the sobs quieter. Paul reached an arm across Jamie's shoulders, holding him gently.

He waited for the fox to calm down, not sure how much time passed.

"All done?" He asked gently.

Jamie nodded.

"Um, I wanted to ask. Why'd you run away from me? You just looked, then ran, like you were scared of me."

"Well...I was. I thought you'd...hate me, for being gay."

"You were?" Paul was shocked. How could Jamie even imagine that he'd hate him? "Jamie, I'd never hate you, and definitely not over something like that. You're my best friend, and nothing's gonna change that." He shook the fox's shoulders gently, kindly, for emphasis.

Something sparkled inside of Jamie, pushing away the fear and isolation. Paul was still his friend, that's what mattered.

"Thank you so much, Paul."

"Any time."

Jamie turned and gently put his arms around the wolf. It was at that point that something clicked for Paul, but he didn't know what, yet. The fox's gesture hadn't surprised him or weirded him out at all. The wolf put the other arm around Jamie and held him, tenderly.

After about a minute, Jamie pulled away from the hug. "Sorry, that was kind of weird for you, wasn't it?"

"Nah, it was fine. So, do you feel any better?"

"Yeah, some. Uh, could we hang out after school and talk some more? Opening up really helps." He wiped his eyes. To Paul, he was already looking much better.

"Sure, at your house? I'll come over first thing after school." The wolf looked up, hearing the lunch bells. "We'd better get back to class. Come on." He offered a paw to Jamie and helped him up. They walked back through the trees and across the soccer field in silence. They waved as they left down seperate hallways for fifth period. Jamie and Paul both had their math class seventh period, so they'd see each other then.

As Paul sat down in his desk, his mind was still abuzz with the recent discoveries. Then, his mind trailed to when he hugged Jamie. It seemed...right, when it happened, almost intimate. He ignored Mr. Higgins, his American History teacher, an elderly beaver, as his mind wandered. He had never gone out with a girl, because there never seemed to be any interest. Sure, a lot of girls in his grade were pretty, but not...attractive. Gradually his thoughts centered around Jamie again. His lean, but toned body, his soft, fluffy fur, his beautiful eyes. 'Am I attracted to Jamie?' Paul asked himself, but he already had his answer. 'Am I...gay?'

Jamie was in a similar mental predicament while stuck in his Biology class, which was taught by Mr. Murphy, a relatively young, green dragon. He, too, ignored his instructor and swam through the sea of thoughts swirling around in him. Once he had opened up, it was like ridding a poison from his system. Jamie still felt some remnants of the old depression, but he was already so much better. Remembering when he hugged Paul, he could almost feel the warm, muscular arms around him again. Paul. He really was beautiful. His completely white coat was dazzling in the sunlight, and his eyes! They were an icy blue, but not cold or forboding. Paul really was a nice person, and...drop-dead sexy, Jamie decided. 'Am I attracted to Paul?' Jamie asked himself, but he already had his answer. 'He's probably not gay, though. And he's my friend!'

The fox had a new sadness, one of a love that would probably never happen.

Later, in Math, Paul and Jamie met up, sitting in their desks, which were right next to each other. The teacher, Ms. Richardson, an aging lioness, encouraged group work, so the students always had plenty of opportunities to chat. The two friends talked casually, not working much. Still, underlying the talking were the thoughts plaguing them from earlier. The bell rang, and class was out for the weekend. It was still overcast outside, but the promise of a good weekend brightened Jamie's spirits. They split up in the parking lot, heading for their respective cars. Jamie drove home, feeling a little nervous. As he pulled up his driveway, he saw Paul jogging down the sidewalk, catching up with him as he got out of his car.

"Hey." The wolf was panting slightly, and they walked up to the house. Inside, Jamie dropped his school stuff on the living room floor. A note taped to the lamp caught is eye.

"It's from my mom." He said as he opened the note.

"Sorry I had to leave on such short notice, Jamie. I got a call today at work; Grandma's in the hospital. She's going to be okay, but I'm going to stay with her over the weekend. I left some cash on your dresser, in an envelope, just in case. I've got my cell if you need to call me. Love you Jamie! -Mom"

"Huh, I guess we have the house to ourselves this weekend." Jamie kicked himself right as he said it; he didn't want to make it awkward for Paul. They walked up to his room, dropping their stuff in the corner. Both teens seemed uncomfortable starting the conversation, so Jamie turned on the Wii and they played some Smash Bros. He forgot about his problems, temporarily. Paul had chosen Snake, and had beat Jamie every time.

"God, why do you always pick Snake!? He's such a cheap bastard."

"That's why!" Paul grinned, but sobered up quickly. "So, you wanna talk?"

"Yeah. But, hell...I don't know where to start." Jamie quickly turned off the game.

"Well, um...when did you first...find out?"

"I don't really know. To be honest, I was never really interested in girls. I was never truly...attracted to any of them, nobody really stood out. I just like how the male body looks, you know? Well, I guess you don't." Jamie coughed. 'But I do.' Paul thought.

Jamie began talking again. "You remember I went out with Sarah last year?" The wolf nodded. "I kind of decided it about a couple months into the relationship, it didn't feel...natural. We never did anything, really. She broke up with me, but I never told her. You're the first person to know. I...I would to look at straight porn, but I always ended up at the gay stuff." Jamie blushed a little. "But being in the closet was...awful, but that's a gross understatement. It's like living a constant lie that you've never told, and everyone just assumes that you're straight! I was terrified of what everyone would think, of what...you would think." Delicate tears rolled down his face, hot.

"But you don't need to worry about that anymore, at least." Paul said, making Jamie smile. He always loved that smile, but now it was downright charming.

"Yeah. Still, the worst is being alone. I kinda think high school dating is petty and stupid, but if I found the right person," Jamie's heart fluttered, "I'd be so happy. But there's pretty much nobody. I feel like the only gay in the world..." The fox was crying again, softly. Paul snaked an arm across his shoulders again, pulling Jamie close to his chest.

"It's okay, Jamie. You're not alone, you've got your mom and your friends. And," Paul hesitated for a second, making certain of his decision, "you've got me. You're not the only gay in the world." Jamie's mood changed completely. He looked up at the wolf, wide-eyed.

"What?" Jamie didn't dare say more. Was his secret hope coming true?

"I said, you're not the only gay person in the world." The wolf was feeling drawn to Jamie; he was so damn cute! He leaned over to the fox, and kissed him. Jamie was shocked beyond thought, he couldn't register what was happening. However, he didn't break it. It was gentle, close-lipped. They sat, embracing in a tender kiss that seemed to last for hours. Finally, regrettingly, they pulled apart, Jamie staring.

"Jamie," Paul began, breaking the silence, "you know I've never dated anyone, right?" The wide-eyed fox nodded dumbly. "Well, I never really thought about it before, but when I hugged you, back at school, something clicked. It felt...right. And," he placed a paw on Jamie's shoulder. "you are very beautiful."

Jamie found that his mouth could work again. "Really?" Paul nodded. Jamie's mind could barely process what was happening. Paul was gay, too? "So, you're gay?"

"I...guess so, but I know for sure that I like you. A lot." Paul's face was burning, his fur tinted pink.

"I like you too, Paul. I...aw, hell with it!" Jamie flung his arms around the wolf, catching him in a strong embrace. Their lips met again, but opened, their heads tilted in opposite directions to accomodate. Paul was caught by surprise, but hugged back, feeling more and more complete. Their tongues danced, and they tasted each other. Their paws grew curious, and began exploring, Jamie's right paw slipping up Paul's shirt and rubbing the wolf's chest fur. They broke apart quickly to remove their shirts, after an understanding glance, and resumed locking lips. Jamie was on his back, laying on the bed, Paul covering him protectively.

Jamie was getting hot, and his fur was getting moistened with sweat. Paul, too, was feeling the heat, his coat getting damp as well. Their scents were prominent, now, and Paul stopped a minute to press his nose into Jamie's neck, inhaling deeply. He drank in the mingling smells, intoxicating him.

"Mmmm..." Paul hummed. The scents were so indescribably masculine and male, virile. Their arousals were quite prominent, poking accusingly at the other fur. Both of the teens' pants were badly tented, Jamie's jeans and Paul's shorts were very uncomfortable. They grinned at each other, noses touching. Paul shifted himself and undid Jamie's belt, pulling the jeans down to the fox's ankles, then off. The wolf quickly unfastened his shorts, and they, too, were lying forgotten on the floor.

"God, how can you wear those?" Jamie asked incredulously, eying Paul's badly stretched briefs. "They must be so confining, unlike these. And they are uncomfortable right now!" Jamie giggled, patting the bulge in his boxer shorts.

"Well then, looks like they need to come off." Paul grabbed the waistband of Jamie's boxers, seeing a wet spot. He peeled them away, then down the fox's legs, Jamie's fully erect manhood bouncing into view. The friction of the cloth made him moan a little; he sighed at the sudden freedom. Paul marveled at the pink shaft between Jamie's legs, it must have been around eight inches! His fuzzy sac was also pretty impressive. Jamie blushed, seeing Paul staring.

"Now, we can't leave you all pent-up, wolfy." Jamie, in turn, lifted Paul's elastic band away and down, the underwear coming off. Paul's erection was a darker shade of pink, almost red. He was about the same length as Jamie, and only slightly thicker. The friends had seen each other hard before, many times, actually. Years ago, they had accidentally stumbled upon masturbation together during a sleepover, and did it together many times since. This was different, though. Neither one had truly taken into account the other's genitals until now. Grinning sheepishly for a second, Paul and Jamie embraced again, the wolf gently weighing Jamie down on the bed. Nothing seperated them but fur; they could feel every rustle and caress between each other as they began grinding slowly. It was a thing of beauty, the closeness and intimacy they felt, the sensations were incredible.

Sitting back up a little, Paul looked Jamie in the eyes. "Seeing as you've had such a hard time lately, you deserve something special." Jamie blushed, seeing Paul kneeling at his groin.

"You don't have to do this, if you're not ready yet."

"But I want to do it, for you. It's just that it's my first time on someone else, so..."

Jamie giggled. "Watch the teeth." 'Wait, someone else?' Jamie wondered, but didn't comment on it.

Paul lowered his head over Jamie's crotch, taking in the view of the beautiful flesh beneath him. Breathing in the musk, Paul stuck out his tongue, and licked Jamie's penis, from base to tip. The fox shivered; he had never felt anything like this. Paul continued his slow licking for a couple minutes, Jamie moaning softly. Pre-fluid was dribbling out, little by little, and the wolf could taste it, warm and slightly salty. Slowly, he put his mouth around the shaft, creating a ring with his lips to block his teeth. Paul gradually took more of Jamie's cock into his maw, his wolf tongue sliding against the bottom. About halfway down he stopped, then went back up, starting a rhythm, his head bobbing. The fox was dazzled by these new pleasures; all he could do was moan.

"Mmmph...Oh, god, Paul..." The wolf was truly sucking at the foxhood now. He couldn't fit it all, so he held one paw around the base. His other paw was busy with his own hard-on, masturbating in rhythm with the blowjob. His mouth worked, his tongue tantalized the head of Jamie's cock, the fox's hips bucking weakly. Jamie struggled not to literally fuck Paul's brains out. It was all too much, he could feel the soaring sensation nearing, his balls clenching. "Nnngh...Paul...Aaaaahhh!" Jamie climaxed, harder than ever before in his life. Cock throbbing, the wolf's maw was assaulted by waves of sticky, salty cum. Paul tried to swallow as much as he could, but it had taken him by surprise, and some of the semen leaked from his mouth, connecting his maw to Jamie's fur in little, liquid ropes. The wolf pumped furiously, cumming soon after. Moaning loudly, he shot his seed, small gobs of sticky wetness onto Jamie's abdomen, almost disappearing in the fox's white chestfur. He collapsed onto Jamie, the two furs panting, drained. They basked in the afterglow like the warm afternoon sun, fantastic sensations tingling thoughout their entire bodies.

"Huh...wow...I've never..." Jamie attempted to speak, but gave up. Paul shifted, onto his back, Jamie cuddling in the crook of his left arm. Jamie settled his head into fluffy white chestfur, Paul holding him close. The wolf nuzzled his friend, licking the fox's ear affectionately. "Hmmm...Paul, you make a great pillow..." Jamie mumbled sleepily.

Paul sighed contentedly. It was dark now; time had passed faster than either fur had been able to tell. Exhausted but happy, they began to drift off.

"Mmm...Sarah was a bitch...I love you, Paul..." The fox trailed off, sleep had taken him. Paul chuckled quietly.

"I love you, Jamie." Paul lay awake for a couple more minutes, stroking Jamie's headfur. 'This is where I belong...' was his last thought before sleep cast its shroud over him as well.