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Entry 1

Juli 20, 2017CE

Dear diary?... No maybe I should just go with "HELLO WORLD!" Uh, I don't know, look, this is really supposed be an experiment or a test of willpower or... something. Before school ended last year I had a long final talk with a counsellor, not like a guidance counsellor for classes and directing college applications and such but the school therapist. Perhaps I should start at the beginning, how far back would that be? I guess since I was 4 years old when mom left. She left dad and I alone to take care of each other, I was told she wanted to pursue another relationship she'd had on the back burner. Dad was orphaned as a child so he had no family and 2 friends that lived in another state so we really were all alone. 15 years we had to rough it out, well him mostly since I wasn't old enough yet to help out around the house, that is until I was 11 and I took on most of the chores at home. I learned how to cook at that age as well but on my 12th birthday I had finally perfected baking! Dad and I were so excited, he joked I had leveled up my cooking skill along with my main class... he's a bit of an RPG nerd and so am I, do I care that you care? Not really, just thought I should paint a more detailed picture for you.

Anyway perhaps I should introduce myself. I am Allen Gar, just turned 19 last week, stand 6' tall, same as dad, 230 lbs, anthro-wolf with near-black fur with some streaks of crimson at the tips running over my shoulders, my left forearm and inner right thigh. My build is pretty average, soft midsection with toned arms, legs and soft-ish chest and my feet are a couple sizes too small for my height. My dad, Tyler Gar is 36 years old, almost 37, has dark silver fur with purple tips in streaks at oddly the same locations of his body as mine, not sure about his inner thigh though... he's well built for a shadow-user, I'll explain that when it's relevant, trust me. Most shadow-users only focus on their psychological prowess, whereas Dad feels it's necessary to lift weights on occasion to stay in physical shape to assist in the manipulation of his shadow. He has strong, defined arms hidden under his floofy, soft coat, a firm chest, thick legs and yet has a bit of a paunchy belly. That's fine with me, it could be a preview of my own body shape as time goes on, it's comfy and inviting so there's nothing wrong with it. Oh but his feet are exactly the size they should be, he also has amethyst eyes were I have golden colored eyes. Well then, okay, that took longer that I thought just to lay out our descriptions...

So when I was talking with my counsellor, she had told me that the best thing to do might be to write out all of my feelings and frustrations of a given day to help get over them. I never explained to her exactly what I was frustrated or so emotionally crippled by, though she insisted that this was an effective method to laying things out to confront my issues head-on. Even if they involve someone else. Now this blog I'm starting is not only to get everything out in the open for people that may need help accepting this in their own situation but it's also for you, Dad, Mr. Tyler Gar... I'm sorry for putting this out in the open for others before you have a chance to read it but in the grand scheme of things that are posted on the net, it's rather tame. Not only that but a small-time blog in some dark corner isn't going to garner much attention anyway so here goes. This journal is for you, Dad... please keep an open mind.

Entry 2

Juli 20, 2017CE (still)

I didn't get much out on that first entry so let me spill a little more here. There are times during this blog when I will end up directly talking with my father so if you're an anon reader from the depths of cyberspace then please, you'll have to deal with it as best you can. So now where to begin for real... That had to have been it, my last boyfriend well he was only my second... He was an anthro-dragon just out of high school, only a year older than me. He was charming when we met, had a bit of a sadistic side to him and would often crack jokes with his friends when I was with him, all at my expense. I didn't care though, I loved him and thought his teasing, demeaning attitude was part of his charm, unaware at the time that he was attempting to chip away at my self-esteem the whole time. Our relationship turned to one of constant psychological abuse and later... well there was always more torment from him, but when you're in denial and feel as though you can't do better and try to stick with it... that takes it's toll on you physically as well. Dad badgered me for 6 months about whether I was alright or not and I kept lying to him, I hadn't even come out to him or told him I was dating at all. Subconsciously I must have left my phone at home on purpose on a rare day when Dad was home relaxing. My ex was calling, Dad didn't know what to expect when he saw the caller ID pic that showed up on the screen: a nude emerald green dragon with his hunter greek dick hard out of the slit.

You answered the phone and asked him who it was and he told you it was none of your business. He told you that you couldn't get your turn with me until a bet had been settled with one of his friends. You told me you were completely thrown for a loop so you started asking questions...

Barging in the door from school that night I looked right at you, shirtless because of the warmer weather, with my phone in your lap, covered by the light khakis you enjoyed wearing. A mutual school friend of my ex's and I mentioned the dragon called, trying to get a hold of me. When I realized I had left my phone on the kitchen counter, I never ran so fast back home in my life at the time. Dad, you reached your hand out to me and pulled me to your left side on the couch to hold me tight against your chest, warning that you were never going to let me go until I fessed up to what was going on between me and that damned dragon.

I sank myself into the couch next to you, hearing the groans of the old frame supporting both of our weights. The warmth of your body, firm grip around me made me feel secure enough to finally admit what had been going on for the last eight months. The dam was blasted away and everything came out. I told my father all of the hurtful things that my ex had said to me, the threats he made against my life to punish me for not being as educated as he was, he was "frustrated" for having to explain foreign concepts to me, the way he'd ignore me or treat me as a nuisance when we were with his friends. The worst part was eventually having to mention the times when they would pass me around as a cum-dumpster as a "game" while he watched, placing bets with each other to see how long it took until one of them could bruise my ass just from being pounded into. I cried, wailed, screamed with tears flowing from my eyes, snot and slobber rubbing onto my father's beautiful fur. Soiling your chest like that just added another layer to the shame, guilt and pain I felt as the night went on.

I eventually collapsed, in your loving arms that night and slept for hours until waking up around 1am the next day. Thankfully there was no school and you were still on a break from work. That was my coming out experience with you Dad, I'm sure you remember what you said to me when we woke up, "I will not allow my darling son to be hurt like that again. I love you, no matter who are with, no matter what you do..."

Before getting up to make breakfast you nuzzled against the side of my face, pulled me tighter into your arms and kissed my cheek. "..but that rela-" You stopped yourself to choose the correct way to state the hell I had gone through. "That torture, will not continue. You call him and end it, son. If he makes a threat we'll call the police, if he comes by I will deal with him."

Your baritone voice was firm and warm as you spoke to me. It reverberated through my body and relaxed the sore muscles in my face from all the crying the night before. You told me later on that you were prepared to kill him if he had come by that day.

Entry 3

Juli 21, 2017CE

Remember when I mentioned Dad being a shadow-user? That's going to become relevant in this entry... About a week after Dad and I had our talk on the couch, he'd calmed down somewhat about the whole ordeal. I broke up with the dragon in a quick phone call the day after I confessed, just as Dad encouraged me to do. The fucker actually came by the house and was knocking on the door. Dad was in the shower getting ready to head back to work so I had to answer the door, hoping it wasn't the dragon. Once the door was open, the dragon standing there with a wicked smile, I started to tell his ass to leave in my most commanding voice possible but he wasn't having it. The dragon kept demanding to be let in the house, wanted to refresh my memory as to who "owned" me. He forced the door open for a while before my arms gave out, eventually forcing his way in. When he knew I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of obeying him, he began threatening to beat me and leave me bloody at the front door. Before I could respond, he grabbed me by the neck and started squeezing, my skin under my fur becoming bruised, his claws cutting into my skin. He breathed in deep ready to unleash his icy breath as my consciousness was fading.

I didn't hear the heavy thud thud THUD of your footsteps, Dad, when you came barreling down the hall, naked after your shower. What I remember first was hearing you scream, "....et your hands off MY SON! Shadow!" your voice was loud and clear but sight was still a few seconds behind my other senses as my ex released his grip. Your shadow's fist smacked the dragon a few feet away from me across half the distance of our front lawn. You stomped towards him, I almost felt the tremors of your feet slamming firmly into the ground until you stood over his frightened form, "If you ever come near him again, I will tear your limbs off.... your....body!"

Your last few words belted out at the top of your lungs, punctuated by the powerful blows of your shadow against the dragon's torso, only for the dark form to pull away from your body. Your shadow stood about 2? taller than you, translucent and purple in color, wearing some kind of classic armor like a knight. It bent down, then picked up the dragon to toss the bastard like a rag doll off our property and onto the street before retreating into your form. I never told you how terrified I was watching that whole display, I'd never watched someone's shadow emerge like that in person before, it was more than just an magical extension of fists or kicks like normal but a whole body separate from yours! I stood there slack-jawed as you slowly made your way back to the front door, stark-naked without a care but to ensure my safety. You came over to check the skin at my neck, pulling sections of fur to the side as best you could to find any deep cuts. "Only some bruises, thank fuck." You closed the door with your leg, pulled me into your arms and kissed my cheek, "I'm so sorry I couldn't get to you faster. He's gone now." I nodded slowly, the tears falling again. After the moment passed, both of us collected and calmed down. Not that it really mattered at the time, I caught a good look at your whole body that day and it was nice to confirm that you indeed have a purple streak on your inner right thigh where my red one is.

The cops were called, the damned dragon didn't press charges and a restraining order was placed against him. Even when the police were there to get testimony and arrest my ex, Dad didn't bother to put much clothing on, just a tank top and boxers, it was too hot for anything more than that. During the moment and even after, I hadn't thought about anything except that my life was in jeopardy and Dad came to my rescue so it hadn't registered that I stared at his naked body as he stepped back into the house. He didn't go to work that day, opting to take a few more vacation days to make sure I was going to be alright mentally. He coddled me, really. It wasn't unappreciated and I understand why but he needed to get back to work and it was me who had him cut his stay home short. I assured him that I was going to be fine that morning he went back to work, gave him a kiss on the cheek, a tight extra-long hug, a rub of my hand on his lower back just above the belt holding up his slacks. His office attire was always so stiff and would collect hair like a magnet, though seeing my dark fuzz clinging to his light khakis gave me a great deal of pleasure that morning. It was as though you were marked, you were MY father, my Dad, protector and friend.

So those days were what set this all in motion, I don't know, maybe this technique will work and I can finally confront him, uh... you, Dad, about how I really feel.