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'Well look at this,' my mother said. She was out on the porch, waiting like she had some kind of long distance sense of our approach. 'Are you two boys friends now then? All sorted?'

'We talked about a few things, yeah,' I said, trying to play it cool.

'Yes. You talked about so much you obviously forgot the three hour rule.'

I'd seen this coming. More than three hours out of my mother's sight meant that I'd been abducted or hit by a truck or was otherwise vanished was destined for a milk carton picture if I didn't call her right away. I should have just said sorry, but somehow I knew I could push my luck.

'You knew what we were talking about,' I said. 'That forgiveness you told me to do wasn't exactly easy.'

'No. It was obviously so hard for both of you that he invited you to stay at his house while you thought about it. That's two people who are having a hard time with each other. Always a spare room on offer.'

'Come on, Mum. You saw the way he walked out the door last night. Sometimes it doesn't matter who's keeping you company as long as someone is. So you don't...you know, start thinking the wrong kinds of thoughts.'

It worked. I didn't know how I'd suddenly come up with this, but I liked it, because my mother was looking at Colton with genuine concern. Thank God he knew the right way to play this was to keep that smile I'd put on his face last night and this morning.

'Yeah Mrs A,' he said. 'I...I'm kinda glad I had Todd with me last night. There's...a bit more to me than I want most people to know about. But Todd listened.'

'Well,' she said. 'That's nice. But I do want to know one thing, Todd. When you texted me, why did you have to use the f-word?'

I looked at Colton in horror, and he looked back at me, and I knew it was a trick because my mother had seen who looked first.

How_did_ she do this? Was it the way Colton wrote the text that made it not sound like me? It had to have been, even though I knew he had more sense than to curse. Damnit. Mum strikes again.

'So,' she said. 'Your friend used your phone to text your mother because you forgot. So he knew your password. In the space of a few hours, you went from throwing this fox out of our house to trusting him with that.'

'Uhhh...yeah. That okay? And if you were that worried why didn't you call me?'

'I did. Twice. You mean you still haven't notice the missed calls?'

'Mum, look, I know I was a little bit out of sorts last night, but could we maybe sit down later and talk about how I'm actually grown up now, so maybe the rules could change just a tiny little bit? You've got to let go sometime. We all have to.'

My mother smiled. 'Have you looked at what Colton texted me yet?'

Colton was sniggering, like he was going to break out into the same laughter from when I'd tickled his feet. I grabbed my phone from my pocket and went into my sent messages.

Yo Mum, don't freak or anything, staying at Colton's, don't wait up. PS, you're the coolest mum in the world and you seriously rock. PPS, you and dad will buy me a car for my graduation present, right? I AM the one smart kid in the family after all.

'You_asshole!'_ I said as Colton doubled up laughing. Any other day I'd have gone crazy. Today, I was laughing too, and so was Mum 'What did you think when you got that?'

'I thought "Nice try, Colton," ' my mother said, looking at him. 'Todd doesn't drive and he already asked for a sports watch. I think I'll go with that. Little bit more within our means.'

'Guess I'll have to give him a car then,' Colton said. 'My parents have a couple they don't use; I bet I can bargain one off them. And I'll teach him.'

'Yes,' my mother said. 'The fox who stole a car is going to teach my son to drive. And his parents will simply give a car away so he can do it. You're a trouble maker, young man. But I think you're a nice one at heart. Are you coming in for breakfast then?'

'If I'm invited, sure,' Colton said.

'Hmm. Yes.' She looked at me again. 'You both stayed at Colton's last night but you left without having any breakfast. So you could have it here. This is the boy who always avoids having friends stay for dinner and thinks I've never noticed.'

'Yeah,' I said. 'Can I change, Mum? Would that be okay?'

She looked between us now, her eyes slightly narrowed. 'You two boys. I'll mind my own business if you'll just tell me one more thing. Where did you really go last night? And you're both going to answer on the count of three.'

Oh shit. How many times had I seen her do this to Alfie and his girlfriends? I should have warned him. Nothing for it then. She got to three, and Colton looked so cool about it I wondered if he was used to this. I could only hope he knew the one way around it: stick to the story you already told.

'His house,' I said.

'My place,' Colton said.

'Told ya,' I said.

'Hmm,' my mother said. 'Alright then. Come in and eat. All that late night talking must have made you hungry.'

I managed not to sigh with relief, and realised it was because I wasn't relieved at all. She'd guessed something, even if she'd never have gone all the way to what had happened between us, she knew we'd been somewhere. That was enough. There would be a conversation in the future where she called me out about this, making it link to something else I'd covered up.

And I didn't care. Nothing could make this morning anything but perfect.

Until I got in the front door, and my nose twitched at the smell. 'Waffles,' I whispered. 'Oh _God _this is always death! Come on Colton, we're out of here. Let's go to the diner three blocks down.'

My mum was still smiling.

'The Aldrington family killer breakfast waffles?' Colton said. 'Now this I've got to see.'

'You really don't. You don't have to get me a car either, just let me get the hell out of here!'

The waffle iron was allowed out of the cupboard once a month. Too much sugar, my mother always said. Eating this kind of food was a special treat. Trouble was, my brothers and sisters always wanted to make the waffles themselves rather than have mum do it.

First there was the squabbling about who did what. Then there was the burning. Or the batter being wrong so it stuck to the waffle iron, or didn't cook at all, or came out harder than concrete. Then came the argument about whose fault it was that our entire family, working together, could fuck up something as simple as a breakfast treat.

Last month, younger sister Zelda had gone into a full on tantrum with Felix, picked up the bottle of chocolate syrup, and showered him head to foot in its entire contents. Felix in turn threw the entire brimming full bowl of write-off waffle batter at her. Except it wasn't a throw, and it wasn't really at her. It was a full blown out of control fling, with the bowl still in his hand. It drenched us all, along with half the kitchen.

And the food fight descended - a free for all of grabbing and hurling of the nearest thing. And right in the middle there had been me, trying to keep everyone cool and failing, and getting my best hood and jeans wrecked for my help. Because waffle batter never washed out. It just baked onto everything like superglue. Including my own fur when I tried to shower it off later.

Felix had also had his first 'Alfie moment,' as the family later called it once we could laugh about it all. His temper had flashed so hard and fast that the tantrum went epic. After Rocco called him a fat little sack of 'coon-shit, his big revenge idea had been to grab the waffle iron and slam Rocco's tail in it. He never got that far, because in his rage he hadn't thought how burning hot the thing was going to be. The screaming when he burnt his left hand was a sound destined to go with me to my dying day.

That's when we'd known it wasn't funny anymore, if it ever had been at all, and so did Mum and Dad when they came running and saw the state of their kitchen, and Rocco, still swearing at everyone and running Felix's hand under the cold tap.

Mum took over holding Felix's hand under the tap for half an hour and stroking his head for comfort before taking him to the hospital. While all that was going on in the kitchen, Dad showed us all who both Alfie and now obviously Felix had inherited their tempers from with the kind of telling off you get from a parent about once or twice in a lifetime. The kind where nobody dared speak. After we'd all been beaten down like a drill sergeant demoralises inadequate troops, Dad took the waffle iron outside, threw it against the wall so hard that the lid smashed off the base, and said we were 'never having waffles for breakfast ever fucking again.'

Until of course we had a family meeting and he said sorry he'd gone so mental and he loved us all, and we'd all learned our lesson and he'd buy a new waffle iron providing we all did less squabbling for the next month. Even though Mum was right about the sugar thing because if we weren't careful we'd all get lazier and pudgier and grow up to be truckers. Don't follow my example, he'd said. Or you'll end up marrying a woman who stands with you while you check your weight every day to make sure you don't lie on your diet diary sheet. The one she also makes you keep.

'Your family rock,' Colton said. 'We're staying.'

'Your funeral,' I said.

Except it wasn't. Somehow I knew it wouldn't be.

'Can I help?' he said, already half way to the kitchen, where there was already flour and spilt milk everywhere, and Felix was already sitting with his back to everyone else and arms folded. 'Hey guys, I'm Todd's friend. This your recipe for waffle batter?' He looked at it. 'Uh-uh. You don't wanna do it that way. I can show you the best recipe for this that doesn't make half the mess. Wanna see it?'

'You can't be Todd's friend,' my five year old sister Beatrix said. 'You're a fox!'

'Young lady that it not what this family stands for,' my mother said, storming in so fast she'd practically teleported. 'Now say you're sorry. And anyway, I'm curious about this "best recipe." That one's my grandmother's. Go on then Colton, show us all how you better it.'

Never in a million years would I have thought Colton Vincent knew his way around a kitchen, let alone how to cook anything, but he put the book aside, took up my mum's shopping list pad from the fridge, wrote down the quantities of everything and did the math so it would feed all ten of us, and him making eleven.

'Alright, we're gonna form a line, like you're all on parade. Anyone been in cadets? This is how you do it, you two do eggs, you two do flour, you two do milk, you two do sugar. And you,' he looked at me. 'Put that coffee machine on. Oh, and Mr and Mrs A, you mind if I raid your fridge and we have some bacon with these waffles? You guys are omniverous but I really can't go a meal without meat.' He looked at Beatrix and gave a toothy smile. 'You were right. I am a fox.'

Felix actually saluted Colton like he was making fun and said 'I'm helping Todd. I'm banned from making waffles.'

'Oh, you get charged after your last effort then, soldier?' Colton said, saluting back. 'Well why don't you set the table? Maybe if you lay it out real nice you get to use the waffle iron next time.'

'Errrr....' my father stepped in front of the cupboard with the dishes in before Felix could get there. 'I think I'll help.'

Colton actually had my family working together. How had he simply walked in and done this? If getting laid brought out this side of him then maybe I was going to have to be careful. Because the jealousy at this was starting to burn a little. But I wasn't going to let it.

'Where's my coffee, Todd-coon?' he said, as I poured mine first and gave a satisfied sigh just to burn him back a little. 'Oops. Sorry.'

All my siblings had turned their head at that, and now they were repeating it and laughing. 'You dick!' I mouthed at him, handing him his cup. 'I hate you so much!' Except I didn't. My jealousy wasn't really jealousy. I loved him, and it was like he was moving in already.

And the waffles....oh man they were good. Even Mum couldn't hide it. Her first bite said it all, and so did everyone else's. And the kitchen was so spotless it was like she'd done all the work and none of us kids had been near it. Now we were all at the table and the usual breakfast bullshit conversation was completely forgotten. It was Saturday morning, and the Aldrington household was so calm it was like we were all on Xanax.

Until, of course, Felix opened his mouth. 'Hey Todd.'

'What?'

'You've got no underpants on.'

I nearly dropped my coffee cup. 'How do you know?' I said. 'Why were you looking at my pants?'

'Because the band on top of your underpants always sticks up out of your pants pants,' Felix said. 'So why's it not there now?'

Too late to stop myself, I was looking, then pulling my jeans and tucking my hood over the top. 'I am wearing underpants. Stop looking. Mum, tell him that's not something you do.'

Why hadn't she already?

Because Colton was grinning. 'Why don't you just tell them, Todd? It's no big deal.'

Oh Jesus. This couldn't be happening. 'What are you talking about?'

'You do the latest thing to get noticed and now you don't wanna get noticed?' Colton grinned, and looked around all my family like they were his favourite audience. 'I told him he's a bit of an idiot. I mean, I already knew that; he does the barefoot thing, right? Well now it's bare underneath, too.' He wiggled his index finger about like it was a penis. 'He told me about it. First it's letting the top band of elastic poke outta your pants, but that's not cool anymore. Going commando's the latest thing.'

Rocco was looking at me quizzically now. 'You _really_not wearing any underpants, Todd-o?'

'Oh come on guys,' I said, my face burning now. 'Alright, I wanted to try not wearing underpants. Felix, we've really gotta talk about how you don't have to say everything you notice out loud.'

Felix, who was finding this unstoppably funny along with all the others, was now well on the bandwagon. He pointed at Colton's pocket. 'You know what else? Colton's naughty. He's got cigarettes.'

Mum was back to her serious look now. 'And you don't have to draw attention to it,' she said. 'There are different rules in Colton's house. If he's allowed to smoke then that's up to him. And if Todd wants to follow silly trends it's up to him too.'

'Wearing no underpants is even more gross than smoking,' Felix said. 'If you don't wear them, what happens when you -'

'I think it's your turn to clear the plates, Felix,' Dad said.

'Nu-uh. It's Todd's. He wasn't here to clean them last night and it was his turn.'

'That was Colton's fault,' I said.

'Yeah,' Felix said. 'What were you guys doing all evening?'

'I was pulling his tail,' I said.

Now it was Colton's turn to look awkward, and I could have sworn he'd wrapped his tail into his lap under the table.

'Huh?' Felix said.

'It's a nicer way of saying mind your own business and go clear the plates,' I said.

'Pulling someone's tail,' Lucy said. 'I never heard it used like that before. Doesn't it just mean you were having them on?'

'Having them on?' Felix said.

'Trying to fool them, idiot,' Lucy said.

'Hey, tell you what, I'll clear the plates,' Colton said. 'I'll make up for Todd's turn. Seeing as pulling my tail made him miss it.'

'Sit down, Colton,' Mum said. 'I'll do it, then there's no arguing. In this house, when I do that it means the rota resets and I get to pick the next person. Todd can do it this evening.'

'Hey, you know what I never thought of?' Dad said, looking at me. 'Your prom date, Courtney. You said it went so well. And she seemed nice. So have you asked her on a second date yet?'

'Not really so sure about that, Dad,' I said. 'And by the way, she's Colton's twin.'

'Yeah?' Dad said, looking at him. 'Maybe you should give your friend a push where it's needed and get those two together sometime. Honestly, Todd's never had a girlfriend, I mean ever. Maybe it's time he...you know. And don't get me wrong but you're a fox who looks like he does know.'

'Oh Oran really!' Mum said, coming back in with the coffee pot. 'Save the truck-stop talk for truck-stops and stop embarrassing our boy. For all we know his innocence is long gone.'

'Oh for God's sake, I'm right here!' I said. I was used to this, even with a guest here, and this time I was only pretending embarrassment.

'Todd_did_ have a good prom,' Colton said. 'So I bet his innocence...yeah, good chance that's pretty well gone already. And you're right Mr A, I am a fox who knows.'

My father laughed. 'Well, it's about time then. Hell, by the time I was his age I'd already made Alfie.'

'This is not breakfast conversation,' Mum said, in the voice we all knew better than to argue with. 'Besides, there are things to do.' She dished out the Saturday housekeeping to everyone and then asked Colton if he was staying to help me do my job: clearing out the garage. It was long overdue. At least she'd paired me with Rocco. Most likely so Colton could make apologies about the car to him as well. When Colton said he had to get back home because he had something to do with his airforce application that couldn't wait, Rocco didn't seem bothered.

That's when I clocked it: it was Rocco who'd talked Colton into telling me the truth about everything, not Courtney. Colton had already long since mended the bridge with my brother. So now Colton had to go home to sort things with his own sister.

Boy, I didn't envy him that.

* * *

'Before you ask anything,' I told him, 'there's really nothing to tell.'

'Nothing to tell about what?' Rocco said, in that annoying way that meant he'd clocked everything. He made it another minute before he looked at me and smiled, and then I couldn't help myself either. 'I told you we'd get you Colton,' he said.

I made it another two minutes before I caved. 'Go on then. How did you know? Actually, forget it. Before we even go there, how did you talk him into telling me?'

'Me? I didn't. It was probably Courtney.'

I sighed. 'Rocco. Come on. Just tell me the truth. You told him if he wouldn't listen to you then he'd be talking to Alfie. Didn't you?'

Rocco put down the broom and leaned against the wall. 'Colton didn't tell you the whole story, did he? Alfie was in on this long before I ever talked to him. He was working that night. So much for the city limits cuck-shack, Colton pulled up at Alfie's gas station for cigarettes in the Shelby long before he got near one. Alfie asked him for ID, then he looked at him and said "Well Vincent, I might as well not have bothered doing that seeing as Cassano wouldn't have lent his car to a kid." Colton nearly shit his pants. So Alfie looked at him and said "You are not going to tell me that's stolen, are you?" Colton tried to play it cool, but Alfie knew.'

'Shit,' I said. 'Colton's didn't know it was Joe's car?'

'He got in it and drove it back to Joe's fast as fuckin' lightening,' Rocco said. 'And on the way he realised whose brother had just served him. Only a matter of time before Alfie heard the story and connected the dots. I never dropped Alfie's name at all. I never had to. Colton knew there was no way out of this one apart from making things right. But here's what I do know: he only got to you so late because he spent a few days doing all the shitty jobs at Joe's place that Joe won't even give me. In return, there'll be a little word to the cops and the GTA charge will probably go away. Just a kid with a few issues having a bit of a night, but he made up for it, right?'

I shook my head. 'I thought Joe was some sort of gangster, the way you went on about him. He was a cop once?'

'Yeah. Just about. There's all sorts of stories about what kind of cop. You don't exactly buy a Shelby on a cop's pension and a garage business's earnings. But hey, I think it all straightened Colton out. So, you think he meant it when he said sorry?'

'Oh yeah. Trust me.'

We kept on for another couple of hours until the place was looking vaguely tidy. 'Hey bro,' Rocco said when we were sitting in the garage doorway with another cup of coffee each. 'You know what I noticed at breakfast? Besides you not wearing underpants.'

I rolled my eyes. 'What?'

'When Felix started all that, you didn't get the floppy ears. Or when Dad brought the Courtney second date thing up. Or through any of that whole breakfast. And you've sure as shit never had a friend here and not gone floppy ears at Mum at least once.'

I shut my eyes. 'Oh man, so now I give everything away if they don't do that?'

'Relax. I only noticed because I knew there'd be something to look for. So come on. What happened? Was it what you always imagined?'

I sipped my coffee, and realised that even though my number was up, my ears still hadn't done their stupid thing. I thought about Colton putting his finger tips behind them and saying 'I love your embarrassed floppy ears, Aldrington.' I leaned closer to Rocco. 'Can you keep a secret?' I said. 'Like really keep a secret?'

'Sure.'

'Good,' I said, getting up to walk back into the house. 'So can I.'

* * *

I got the text from Colton at 7PM: If you want to miss your turn clearing the dinner plates I'll be in Argle's bar tonight. None of my 'friends' ever go there.

I had never gotten myself ready to go out so quickly. Only one week after my prom-cut, I could still practically make myself look the same in no time with a little gel and a comb, only this time there was no suit. Just the hood, without t-shirt under it, and jeans. I only thought to taking sneakers on because the place had a dress code: no shirt and shoes meant no service.

'And where do you think you're going?' Mum said.

'Tell Felix he's taking my dishes turn again until he learns when to shut up,' I said. 'I'll text every three hours. Promise.'

'Alright then,' Mum said. 'It's not like I can stop you now. But you just be careful with that fox, Todd Aldrington. And if he doesn't treat you right, you just be sure to let me know.' She smiled, and now I knew whatever look was on my face, I'd truly given it all away.

'How did you know, Mum? How do you always know everything?'

'As if I'd ever tell you my secret,' she said. 'But really, Todd. When I look at the last few weeks it all adds up to a fairly obvious picture. I might not have connected the dots so easily, but let's see: you started running past the skate park all the time, and that was after you started dressing like a skater about two years ago even though you've never wanted to learn. And I never thought the lack of girlfriends was shyness. And that's all before I came into your room once while you were taking a nap, to pick up the wet towels you always dump at the end of the bed. You talk in your sleep. I doubt you want me to describe what else was going on. Or who you were talking to.'

I still didn't have the floppy ears. I just shook my head and laughed. 'At least I guess I don't have to tell you now.' I stepped a little closer and dropped my voice. 'What about Dad?'

'Don't worry about him,' she said. 'You tell everyone else when you're ready. And if he doesn't take it well, we'll deal with it. And we _can _deal with it. Now go out and have fun. And forget the three hour rule. You were right. It's time I let go a little. But there's one thing I can't help but ask. Did you actually pull Colton's tail or was that just a joke?'

I guess perhaps I'd inherited her senses, because I saw it coming. And my night with Courtney certainly hadn't taught me nothing. 'Mum. I get the feeling you're asking a question you don't really want the answer to. I don't have to know if I'm right, but here's your chance not to ask.'

'Alright then,' she said, and walked back into the kitchen.

* * *

It was a quiet night in Argles, but that still meant enough people were in that that Colton and I didn't stand out. Ever the romantic date, he was already eating and not caring about how much he made a mess, sitting alone. His choice of food: BBQ spare ribs. Perfect for a fox to gnaw on. Fries and a corn cobb and some coleslaw on the side.

'Didn't think you were coming,' he said. 'Sorry, I ordered. But have anything you want. My shout.'

I ordered a pizza with extra ham and pineapple, and a margarita.

'Nah,' Colton said. 'You don't have to pretend to like that shit, I know you don't.' He looked at the waitress. 'Bring us a pitcher of Long Island iced tea. And if my friend still wants a margarita, bring him that too just to compare.'

'Nah, it's cool,' I said, trying to play this right. 'Just the Long Island.' When I thought she was out of earshot: 'What's a Long Island iced tea?'

'Oh my friend,' Colton said. 'You really haven't lived yet, have you?'

When it came, I took a sip through a straw and it was like that moment I'd seen in the movies where the camera rushes in for a close up of someone's eyes going wide with unexpected pleasure, and then the world stands still for a minute, and it's like they've discovered they've been living in unreality all along when everything slows down.

'What_is_ this?' I said.

'Take it nice and slow,' Colton said. 'Welcome to the pleasuredome. That stuff'll knock your head off if you guzzle. It's half caffeine and sugar from the Coke and the rest is rum, vodka and...I can't actually remember. Kaluha, maybe? But you just added another priceless look to your collection.'

I told him about Mum and how Rocco had noticed the lack of floppy ears.

'You want the truth?' Colton said. 'I saw all that too, and so did the rest of your family. Even your precocious little brother, who by the way, no offence, but he's got Aspergers syndrome written all over him, he knew it all meant something, and he's probably still got it circling in his head right now. And during the dinner you're missing he's going to ask your whole family if they know you're gay yet. How do you think your dad will handle it?'

I'd already fumbled my sneakers off my feet under the table, and I got his tail between my toes and ran it through them. 'Fuck you, Colton. Felix isn't that smart. And we already know he's got Asperger's. My family welcome just about anything. They let you in. And never mind my dad. He's an old school trucker from down south who got married to my mum because he kept knocking her up every time he came to Arizona. He'll eventually get the message that how his offspring turned out's not in his control.'

Colton looked like he was studying me for a moment, then brushed both my feet with his. 'Good answer.' He stripped the meat off his last spare rib and swallowed without chewing. 'Give me a dime for the duke box.'

I gave him one. I should have guessed. He put 'Cheer up Boys' on.

'I love the Foo Fighters, raccoon. After I took Cassano's car back I walked down to the prom. I listened to most of your set before you noticed I was there. And by the way, that was a burn so good I couldn't have done it myself. You know how to make a guy see the red mist like a pro.'

'I'm not proud of it, Colton. Even if you won't let me say sorry.'

'Why not? When you look back at your life one day, you might as well be proud of all of it. Even the stupid stuff. I try to tell myself that every night. Just in case. My point is...okay. After last night, I actually felt like I started believing it. So I'd like us to keep doing this. For as long as you'll put up with me.'

I had no idea what to say, but four words seemed to do it, with another sip of Long Island. 'Okay. Sure. Why not?'

Colton took his feet back to himself. 'I called the recruitment office this afternoon and told them everything. I started with the accident, then the headaches, then the blank mornings thing. I didn't need to get to the possible GTA charge even though it's already dropped. I'm medically unfit, even before the fitness test I'd never have passed, because you were right. It's all over.'

'I'm sorry,' I said.

Colton laughed. 'What the fuck for? I've never felt so relieved in my life. That much pressure? I didn't have any idea how to deal with it even before I'd signed up. Besides, a fighter pilot? What if I had to go to war and kill people? I couldn't kill anyone. No matter what I sometimes feel like.'

I told him about what I worried about that night, about the gun I'd imagined might have been under Joe Cassano's driver's seat.

'You actually thought I'd do that?' Colton said. 'Huh, I can't exactly blame you. But seriously, I don't like guns. I held one once at my uncle's place and fired off a few rounds. I only pretended I felt cool. I felt weirded out. I couldn't point one at someone, let alone pull the trigger.'

'You_are_ fast though,' I said. 'I like imagining you dressed up as a cowboy, being a quickdraw.' I mimed drawing a pistol and shooting. 'And I'll never forget that look on Rocco's face the night you stole the Shelby. The way he went "How the fuck did he get those fucking keys?"'

'That's what he said?'

'Yeah.'

A comfortable silence passed. Colton had queued up 'My Hero' as the next Foo's track. When it finished, another song came on and I knew it couldn't have been an accident.

'Did you choose this?' I said.

'Yeah. It's my favourite song. You know it?'

'Muzzle by The Smashing Pumpkins.'

'Shit, raccoon. Is your bedroom like wall to wall records or something? Nobody knows this song.'

'Well, I do. And yeah. I spend all the money I don't spend on dating on music. And why am I not surprised? A song that starts with 'I fear that I'm ordinary, just like everyone.' Yeah, that's you.'

He stuck his middle finger up me while taking another drink, then lit a cigarette with a motion so deft I doubt anyone in the world could have matched it. We sat and listened to the song together until the last line '...and I knew...the silence of the world.'

'You know something?' Colton said. 'Your family really are cool. I wish I lived in a big old 'coon den. You any idea how bored I get with just one sister? And she's Courtney.'

'You two did make up, right?'

'Well, kinda,' he said. 'Don't worry about it. She'll accept my apology soon enough. And you know what else?'

'What?'

'Your brother Rocco's kinda cute too. Wish I had an older brother.'

'You did not just say that.'

'Yeah, I so did. If he had the floppy ears thing going on I reckon he could so have stolen me instead of you.'

'That does it,' I said. 'I was saving this for another day, but gimme my quarter back. There's a song I'm making you hear right now.'

I went and queued it up, came back, sank the rest of my glass and refilled us both from the pitcher.

'If Today was Your Last Day' by Nickleback came on at the perfect time.

Colton listened to it, and I watched his soften so much his ears went almost as floppy as mine. He shook his head, and smiled in a way that I now knew betrayed the humble side of him. 'Who is this? Why did they write about me?'

'It's_my_ favourite song,' I said. 'Until last night it was only a contender for the top spot. It just knocked The Sky is a Neighbourhood off.'

All Colton did for the rest of it was exchange knowing looks and smiles with me while he took in its words. Then he snapped himself out of whatever state it had put him in and became Colton again. 'Okay, so when are we going running? Or do you want to teach me to play ball? Can we not swim yet? I....kinda don't like water. Okay, I can't swim. Like at all. One more thing the airforce don't need to know anymore. So running. Tomorrow?'

'Yeah. Sure. If we both don't end up so hungover that we wake up somewhere worse than a barn behind the prom field. If you still want to get fit.' I put my drink down, and just watched him smoke and think for a minute. 'You still want to hear the story of how I worked out my little quirk?' I brushed my hand over my heart.

'You bet.'

'I'll tell you when you can run 5k in under 25 minutes.'

'You're a bitch, Aldrington. Keep pulling my tail.'

'And I've got to ask, if the airforce thing's over, what do you want to be now?'

'How the fuck should I know? Why do you think my life's exciting for the first time in ages? I don't have a clue where it's going. I feel like I could be anything I want. What about you? MVP for the Arizona Cardinals? The Phoenix Suns? Or the next marathon world record holder? Or do you actually want a day job?'

'Erm,' I said. 'Well, it's kind of awkward. If we stay together...you said you never wanted your old life following you. And you were from New York. I just applied to their state university on a sports scholarship. To do engineering with architecture as my major.'

Colton's went wide eyed, the whistled. 'You've got one serious brain, Aldrington.'

'Yeah. And if you stay with me, it means you might have to go to New York.'

'Then I'm going to New York,' Colton said, dragging on his cigarette. 'When you get in. Maybe it's about time. And maybe you and me can kick more ass together than we could on our own. And I can't wait to get out of this state. The whole place stinks of fucking oranges. Why do you think it's the first thing I thought of as a safety word?'

I burst out laughing, and for the next five minutes all we did was think about last night and laugh. Then Colton told me he'd try the breath holding idea I'd come up with, because he'd trust me to let him go when he tapped out or gave me the signal. Then he told me he'd be there if I needed to come out to my father.

We got drunk together on the rest of the pitcher and took a barefoot walk together and ended up running across a golf course and getting drenched by the sprinklers before we ended up back at his house, shaking off in the back yard before crashing on the couch together watching some crap on the TV.

When I woke up, Courtney was there holding a cup of coffee for each of us and said 'When that idiot wakes up, tell him we're cool again. And I was wrong about you. You weren't a coward after all.'

I felt like it was the start of the rest of my life.

Author's Afterword

This story is 37,624 words long. I wrote it in 12 days. Even though I'm used to regular writing sessions, I've not written this hard and fast in a very long time. Thank you for reading Todd's story, if you've made it this far. I created him in a sketch for my own amusement, having not written anything furry in over ten years. Something just clicked, and I found a story I felt like I needed to tell, and I needed people to tell it to. It was time to finally make a couple of online accounts and embrace having a fursona, after spending years of just toying with the idea.

A lot of personal stuff went into this, along with a lot of stuff that's just my hyper imagination at work, or an exaggeration of real stuff. I'll let you imagine which parts are which. The thing about Todd's mum being cool though, I'll pay homage here: my mum was the coolest when I came out to her, and even though I've never told her about the whole fur thing, she wouldn't be shocked if I did. After all, she was the one who let me sit in front of the TV on Saturday morning watching 'The Raccoons' when I was a kid. And she read me 'Fantastic Mr Fox.' (For the record: _fuck _the movie version of that book, it nearly ruined a childhood classic for me!) As a grown-up, I've had one or two conversations with her where I've said 'I could tell you anything and you wouldn't judge me, would you?' and she listened, and none of the things I was worried about surprised her. She IS quite serious sometimes, but when it comes to stuff that matters she's everything someone could want their mum to be. My dad's pretty cool too, but for different reasons. Although I do wonder if part of that last chapter was me subconsciously recalling how I once asked him what was wrong one night after he banged stuff about in the kitchen and then slammed the dishwasher shut. His answer: 'I'm pissed off with the fucking dishes!' Wonder where I get the tantrum side of me from sometimes...

If you enjoyed this story, I'm hoping there's plenty more to come. I've still got my original sketch with Todd, which I wouldn't mind sharing, and I'm now getting the feeling that his future with Colton alongside him could make for some writing I'd hugely enjoy doing.

I don't mind revealing that I'm a writer with 20 years of hobby experience who turned self-publisher with his 'serious/realworld' fiction a few years ago. I didn't worry about making this story too polished or too serious, but part of me did think 'Yeah, I'm not at all bad at his game.' While I'd rather not reveal my real identity and connect the two worlds right now, I've plenty of experience with getting my work polished and presented and out into the world, and I've had some good reviews here and there, and I'm wondering what to do with Todd's story now that I have it. Is there a market for furry writing out there? I'm having a couple of ideas about where I might be able to put this story up for people to buy. It's an amusing thought: the editor of my 'realworld/serious' stuff would probably not be shocked if I said 'By the way, I'm a fur and would you take a look at this for me?' A raccoon and a fox getting their rocks off after spending most of the story a world apart? Trust me, she's probably seen more bonkers stuff than this come from my pen!

If by some massive longshot you've read some of my other stuff and some stylistic similarities have given away who I am, please just PM me with your guess and don't post it publicly. Seriously, if you get it right, I'll take my hat off to you. I'm not famous, I'm not rich, I'm not revered, and this is not a challenge. But it would be an amusing stroke of luck if you got my number.

If I do anything more with this writing under a pen-name, I'm hoping you might one day support me and buy yourself a copy, and put the word out to other people who might love this story, although I'm not insisting on anything. It's just an idea. Do let me know what you think.

• A.R / Todd.