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What exactly had I expected coming out to be like? A world of congratulations or a world of people doing the same thing my dad had done, or worse? Only when I got neither did I realise how wrong I'd got it all. It was like nothing changed at all.

The likes on social media turned out to be as meaningless as likes on social media almost always are. It's a lazy way of supporting your friends, or showing an interest in them. In the end, a click of a button, ninety-nine times out of a hundred, is just another addition to how the internet is a mirror we're always in love with, and it always loves us back. Basically, a thumbs-up is worth between very little and fuck all. Or at least, that's what I felt like when nobody in real life did anything after clicking the button.

What had I wanted, attention? I was never an attention seeker before. I was glad and disappointed that the world just seemed to carry on as normal. No sniggers from the swimming team when I turned up on the poolside wearing speedos as usual. No whispers in the locker room, no dirty looks, no gay jokes, no people avoiding me. Just nothing.

Apart from Devin, my friend the hyena whose thunder I stole on prom night, when he went down sick and I replaced him as the singer with his band. (Okay, so it was really Courtney dosing his coffee with emetics and laxatives combined, and then taking me into the band tent, knowing they'd probably give me a try.) Devin came up to me and said sorry he'd gone nuts about the whole thing, and I knew he wouldn't be saying it if he hadn't also seen (and liked) my coming out post. When I told him that, he denied it and said 'Jeez, I'm just trying to be your friend again. Should I not have bothered?' and I sighed and said sorry back, and it all just seemed awkward. We went for a drink and he kept congratulating me on my sports scholarship.

I didn't have the heart to tell him I was having second thoughts about it, and I was pretty sure it wasn't just my mood lately, or the thing with my family, which I wouldn't let him ask about.

Then there was the band. They all congratulated me and press-ganged me into a night out with them and proposed, quite seriously, that they pack up and all move to New York when I went to college so that we could all try the NY scene together.

'Guys, it's really not what I want,' I said. 'I can't live a life committed to your dream and the sports thing. And somewhere in all this I'm supposed to get a degree. I'm one raccoon. Have you even bothered to look for available singers? There are hundreds out there who could own me.'

'Yeah but we don't want them,' Stitch said. 'We want you. That's why we're talking to_you_ right now and not holding auditions.'

'You'd given up on me before I...ah forget it, this is going nowhere. I'm not saying yes.' But I was thinking about how Colton never needed to know about this, so I didn't get a re-hash of how he'd have grabbed this opportunity by the balls.

'Oh there we go, he's making this about his coming out,' Stitch said. 'Newsflash raccoon, rock bands don't care about ticking diversity boxes on application forms. And other newsflash, I already knew. Remember what I said to you that night? "Get back out there, you stripey-tailed buttstuffer." I already knew.'

'Bullshit, Stitch. You just wanted an insult and a gay one was perfect because you think being straight makes you better than me.'

'Raccoon, I play the guitar. You don't play shit. I don't need another reason to be better than you, let alone who you wanna put your dick in. By the way, I don't need to see, but does it have stripes like your tail?'

'I don't know, Stitch. Does yours have a inflated zit on it that's gonna burst one day just like your ego?'

On it went all night until Stitch was so drunk he'd forgotten why we were there, and so had all the rest, apart from Sam, who let me slip away with just a nod of heads to each other.

Then there was Albie, a tiger on the running team. Who'd probably noticed my performance had been shit during training because I was trying to pretend I wasn't still shaking my hangover from my night with the band off, and had come over to brag about how he'd always told me he'd start kicking my ass one day. Instead:

'Hey raccoon, I think what you did was cool. That takes some serious balls.'

'Well thanks, I guess.'

We were both showered off, pants on, and me with a towel over my shoulder. Albie copied my pose, and leaned against the wall. 'It's really too bad you never said.'

I looked at him. 'Is it?'

'Don't be coy, Aldrington. You were just starting to get past all that. Listen, I'm cool with you being taken. Even though I think it's too bad.' He leaned in and dropped his voice. 'But here's an offer. If there's something your fox won't do, come talk to me.' He winked, and clicked his tongue twice against the roof of his mouth. 'You were so hot at that prom I was seriously trying to find out where you live so I could come knock on your door. And by the way, if you feel like mentioning this to Colton you can tell him I sent you. Is he still into that paw fetish thing?'

'Errr...I don't know.'

'Oh sure you do. But you could know plenty more than what he could teach you.'

'Albie,' I said. 'You're really not impressing me. But you know what? There's nothing new about that.'

For a moment he looked serious, then he just sniffed and tipped his head a little. 'Okay, Colton did teach you something then. Always knew you could use a little more bite to that tongue. But I'll tell you something you might appreciate. Colton lied to you about his how he told his life-story for the first time. I knew all that stuff he put on your website two years ago.'

I shut my locker door, hard. 'Get lost, Albie. I'd never touch you no matter what_supposed_ truth came out of your mouth.'

'You go ahead and trust that fox then,' he said. 'Your funeral. I was smart enough to stop before I could let it be mine.'

'What's that supposed to mean?'

'My advice? You can take this as personally as you want, but trust me, I'm doing you a favour telling you this: take yourself to a clinic and get a test. Because a lot of people have taken that same ride and that fox is never going to admit to half of them.'

He left me in the locker room, alone and speechless.

* * *

'Albie O'Connor?' Colton said, when I did indeed relay the entire thing to him. 'You didn't believe any of it, did you?' He didn't give me time to answer before he slammed his bedroom door, but without leaving. 'Albie O'Connor's a cunt. You've been on the team with him long enough, I don't gotta tell you that. I should have called him that the one time I fucked him, because God knows there weren't any balls down there shout about. Do not go believing his shit.'

'I didn't.' Apart from the one part Colton had just confessed to.

'Okay,' Colton said, 'So yeah, we were together for a little while. But it only happened once. The second time never happening? Believe me it was my choice. He thinks he can teach you anything about sex? That's like a creationist trying to teach biology. You can tell him I said it. If you get to him before I've slammed his head in a door.'

'Calm down,' I said. 'I don't want you all angry like this. This wasn't what we made those posts for, and there was always going to be somebody who didn't like it or got jealous. Stop using this as an excuse for a fight.'

Colton looked at me like I'd just insulted his family. 'You don't go around telling lies about someone like that and get away with it. I didn't lie to you, Todd. I never told Albie any of what I told you on our first night. Or anybody else.'

'And he's probably laughing right now knowing that this is exactly how it would make you feel. It's a revenge thing, Colton. If you rise to it then he wins.'

'Don't tell me not to be angry. It's not you he lied about. He tells anyone else this shit and I'm going to break his fucking open.'

'Oh that's great. Knowing what it did to you, you'd do that to someone else would you?'

It almost worked. Something got through to him, and then I knew the hackles were back up, even though I couldn't see them. 'Aren't you always the smart one? Haven't you got any pride at all? You're gonna stand there and tell me you wouldn't be pissed if someone said this about you? Fine, you don't wanna see this, you don't have to. I'll go somewhere else.'

'Fuck,' I said, sitting down on his bed after he'd slammed the door, this time with him on the other side of it and storming off down the stairs.

* * *

'I'm sorry about earlier,' Colton said. The clock radio said it was just after 9PM. He'd gotten into bed with me and probably tried not to wake me up, but he had, and now I was rolling over to lick the tip of his nose.

'It's alright,' I said. 'What did I expect? I already knew you had a temper about stuff like that. If I'd been smart I'd never have told you.' I sniffed, and smelt the slightly wet fur and shower gel, and a little sweat behind it. Colton's breathing was still a little un-natural. Good, he'd done something smart. 'You went for a run, huh?'

'Yeah,' he said. 'Five K.'

'Under 25 minutes yet?'

'Nah. 26:34.'

It was still our deal: if Colton could get a sub-25, I'd tell him the story of how I first discovered I got off on the sound of my own heartbeat. It wasn't even much of a story, and Colton probably knew it, but I wanted him take more exercise and so did he. It seemed like a nice touch to put on it.

There was something odd about how he touched me, and when I looked down at his hands I saw how strange the fur looked, like they were slightly bigger than usual, and he was gripping my harder. I took hold of them. 'Your knuckles are swollen.' I sat up. 'Colton, did you really go running?'

'Course I did,' he said. 'What, you think I'm lying to you again?'

'What have you done?' I said. 'You don't get swollen knuckles from running.'

'Push-ups, idiot. I started doing them. I tried doing that thing where you use your fists on the floor instead of your hands. You ever tried lifting your own weight like that?'

'Okay. But you could have just told me.'

Colton sat up. 'I wasn't in a fight, Todd. I didn't even go near Albie. There. Believe me now?'

'Let's not start this again,' I said. 'It was stupid the first time. And well done on your 26:34. That's thirty seconds better than last week.'

'Yeah,' Colton said, and lay down next to me. I tried to go back to sleep, but I couldn't, because Colton wasn't sleeping either. 'I'm thirsty,' he said after another half an hour. I'm going to go get some water.'

He hadn't come back by the time I got to sleep. When I woke up in the morning he wasn't there either, and I was certain he hadn't slept in the bed all night.

* * *

That was the same day everything just seemed to hit me at once. I couldn't have told anyone why, or where it had come from, but suddenly nothing I'd done to make myself feel better since Dad threw me out seemed to work anymore.

Colton wasn't around all day, didn't answer his phone except to text me and tell me he was on an extra shift at work. He didn't write it, but on the end I imagined: 'Don't believe me? Come check the bar later if you want to.'

I knew I was being childish. And that even if he had been around and we were doing our usual thing, it wouldn't have changed the mood I was in. That's when I knew I was in trouble. When Colton came in later, smelling of alcohol even though I got the feeling he hadn't been drinking, only working, so did he.

'You okay, Todd-coon?' He said, sitting next to me on the sofa and turning off the TV I was pretending to watch. 'Look, if it's still about me being a dick the other night then I'm sorry again. And that I went to work because I was still all pissy about it. I just can't help it. The temper thing's not an accident thing either, it was always there. But I try. And I've glad I've got you here to stop me being stupid. I saw Albie tonight, he came in. We sorted it out. And I didn't go for him. I didn't even threaten him. I called him out about it being a revenge thing. And he said sorry. It was a shit way to get back at me. You were right. I beat him, and I didn't have to beat him beat him.'

I was glad, and for a moment I smiled, and then it was gone. 'Good for you,' I said.

Now he looked at me seriously. 'It wasn't that whole thing?'

'Not everything's about you and me, Colton. I feel like shit. I just do. I got kicked out of my home. It's like everything about your place and being here with you made me forget it and now even that's not working. I don't know how to go home and work this out. I don't know if it's possible. And I feel like I want my home. It might not be much compared to what you've got, but it's what I've got. What you said about me not having any pride...pride isn't just about not letting yourself be insulted.'

Colton took my hand in his. 'Got it. Okay. Let's get you your home back then. I've been thinking about you and your dad and I think I've got an idea. You wanna hear it now or is tomorrow better?'

He actually had an idea? Why hadn't I expected it? 'It's cool,' I said. 'Go on.'

'It's like this,' he said. 'I've only met your eldest brother once, that night in the gas station, but I know he's not somebody people fuck with, and it's not just reputation. When he told me about that car belonging to Cassano...I keep playing that back to myself and wondering what the way he looked at me really said. What did you say his name was?'

'Alfie,' I said, already nervous about where this was going.

'Okay, Alfie. Here's what I think. You need to sit down with your old man at some point and work this out, when things have cooled off a bit. But you need a time and place, and someone who'll arrange that who'll also guarantee your safety and would take less shit off your dad than anyone else. Your Mum already tried to broker the peace but maybe she's not the one for that this time. I think that guy's your Alfie.'

I took a deep breath, ready to tell him all the ways that could go wrong, all the reasons it was a bad idea, and then I didn't. Because maybe it wasn't. 'Alfie and my dad...that could get pretty intense if it went to the wrong places.'

'Maybe,' Colton said. 'But you can't avoid it forever. And from what Rocco told you about your dad, maybe he can't either. If he stops avoiding you then maybe there's other things he'll stop avoiding that might make a difference. Trust me to know.'

'Alright,' I said, deciding I had no better plan. 'I'll set it up.'

* * *

Alfie never seemed to answer his phone, only messages, so I texted him the idea and he said we should meet in Argle's bar for dinner on Saturday night, and he'd come with Roxy (his wife) and Freddy (his two year old son.)

I got there and ordered a five dollar milkshake. I managed to make it last half an hour before I realised that was how late Alfie was. Then the text came: Sorry bro, having a shit-fight here, Freddy's sick and Roxy's doing her 'you two ruined my life' thing, I'm not going to get there tonight. Will make it up to you. We're still on for this. Order for yourself, when you're done call me and I'll pick up your bill. -A.

'Bitch,' I muttered. I'd never liked Alfie's wife much even when she was his girlfriend. All the times I'd tried to pretend I did suddenly seemed pointless. The one night I needed my brother she had to think everything was about her? I sat there wondering if he'd only married her after getting her pregnant because it was 'the right thing to do.' I decided not to say Why didn't she just get an abortion? out loud. I liked being an uncle even though I never saw the kid much.

Bloody Colton, it was like his mean tongue could connect to my thoughts. Feeling mad at something did make me feel a little bit better though.

I didn't feel like eating but I knew being hungry later would make my unshakable feelings of unhappiness worse, so I ordered a burger. I had no intention of calling Alfie. When I paid my own bill he'd know I was pissed at him now as well. Besides, he probably only offered to do it to piss Roxy off, and his phone call to do it would be a show. Peace in their house was probably better.

I noticed the waitress, an otter called Shiva, kept giving me smiles all the way thorough ordering, to her asking if my burger was okay to bringing me the double rum and coke I ordered despite how I didn't usually drink. She knew that, I realised, because she was always here on karaoke night. She was one of the people who cheered for me after I picked the songs with all the yelling and screaming while others just shook their heads. Always two crowds in this place.

Shiva finally came to clear my plate, with half my dinner still on it and now stone cold, and couldn't shake her obvious thoughts anymore. 'Honey, are you okay there?'

I really didn't want anyone acting like my mum, or even a sympathetic shoulder, but she had one of those voices that you knew belonged to someone who meant well. I couldn't be rude to her. 'I'm fine,' I lied instead. 'Just...family stuff. I wasn't meant to be alone tonight. My brother chucked me.' Putting it like that at least did make me smile.

Shiva pushed my plate aside and sat down. 'Well _I've_always wanted to talk to you. You're an Aldrington, right? One of the trucker's boys.'

'Uhh....yeah, could we maybe-'

'Which brother was it, Alfie? You send him my regards and tell him I'm gonna smack his butt for this. I'll make sure you don't pay tonight and he can owe it to me.'

That's when I clocked it. 'You saw my website, didn't you?'

'Honey, I didn't need to look at any website. I saw you with that fox here. You don't sit there exchanging looks with someone like that who's just a friend. Trust me, I've been a waitress for twenty six years. And I've got five boys, and two of them were just like you. And my asshole ex-husband who paid as little child support as he could thought he had some right not to like how those two turned out. But then it turned out he wasn't quite so much of an asshole as I thought. If you need a little friendly advice about how a family works these things out, just say the word and I'll make sure you can stay for a drink with me after this place closes one night.'

For a moment, the world seemed like a nice place again. Maybe Colton was right: I should have fallen for an otter. 'Thank you,' I said. 'Maybe some other night.' Just looking at her gave me an odd feeling for a moment, and once I thought I could place it, I couldn't help myself. 'Your boys,' I said. 'They're grown up now, right? The two who're gay...I don't suppose they...' I shook my head. 'I'm sorry, I'm being dumb.'

'No it's okay, you don't suppose they what? Oooooh!' now she smiled. 'Did you and your fox break up, is that what you're down about? You already thinking it's time to meet someone else? Maybe someone with a bit less edge?'

'Nah, Colton and I are together. Erm...I'm sorry, I don't want you to be offended, I just thought...forget it. I thought I might have seen your boys somewhere, but it's....errr...'

'Channel Seven,' she said. 'Yep. That's Tad and Kyle. Except you'd know them as Trick and Dolphin. That asshole ex of mine was in movies. He filled their heads with dreams just like he did mine. Bet he never thought they were prepared to do literally anything to get that break. At least the line of work they're in pays. It pays a lot. And yeah, I sometimes watch their show. Just to weird the other three out. Those two are good boys, they keep sending some of their money home, just to help me out. So you just let them pay for your dinner tonight, and I can tell them they're paying it forward helping out someone else a little bit like them.'

She_watched them?_ This kind woman with her motherly smile, watched her own two boys on a porn show? I thought about how Colton had picked up on how the two of them must be brothers, because they never touched each other, never had sex, just always worked with one of the other three, or more than one of them, but never as a pair.

'I tell you,' Colton said, 'Chan Seven are saving it up. Those two are going to do it some day and it's gonna be a bombshell. Why do you think people keep tuning in? They're hoping this is the time.'

All I'd said, still transfixed on the screen was 'When they do it I'll watch it with you.'

I was thinking about this now?

'Man,' I said. 'Why are my family the only one on this planet who are all uptight and stuffy about all this? Somebody punch me in the face, right now.'

Shiva got up and picked up the plates. 'How about I go get you some dessert instead? Then maybe I'll see if I can get hold of those boys and ask when they're coming home for a weekend next. We'll get you together and we'll all tell you how family works this stuff out? Keep your chin up. There's plenty of people ready to help out a nice boy like you.'

I couldn't answer, because I had to be dreaming. Or Shiva was making this up just to entertain me, because she was the kind of waitress who spent her whole shift dreaming and now here was a nice way to act things out.

Except that wasn't it. This was vividly, unexplainably real.

What_would_ my family do if I ditched my life's plans and went and did what Shiva's sons had done?

It wasn't me, I'd never want to have sex in front of a camera, but right then all I could imagine was the look on my dad's face if he ever found out I'd done gay porn. How's that for revenge? If I became popular, maybe I could make his entire year's salary in a month. Trick and Dolphin were surely already making my scholarship money look like McDonalds wages. If they ever did fuck live on screen, they could probably command double the money for it, maybe even more.

My thought was destroyed a second later, when I saw the face that reminded me that I indeed didn't have the only family with a homophobe in it.

I was on my feet and staring down Drew the deer from the ranch . He'd come in already looking a few drinks down, still wearing the dungarees he'd obviously been working in all day and trying to make his oily, grassy appearance look slick, like this was some sort of redneck bar.

'You!' I shouted at him, stalking down between the tables towards him.

He recognised me instantly, and stood just as relaxed and unfazed as before, but now his eyes looked like he was ready for me this time. None of the shock our first encounter had brought him, when he'd stared at me and Colton naked on a straw bail in one of this fathers barns.

'Well hey, if it aint the barn-fuck raccoon,' he said, taking his hands out of his pockets. 'Whose property you been doing your dirty faggot business in this week, huh? Coz you come back in mine, Daddy's gonna shoot your 'coon ass. You got some kinda problem with that maybe you stay the fuck off decent people's property.'

The whole place went quiet. A couple of the tables looked like they were trying to work out how to leave discreetly. One of them started to.

'There a problem here?' The manager of the bar came out now.

'Nah Tyler, I'm just settin' some business straight right here,' Drew said. 'I got no problem. Except with people who think my daddy's farm's their little fucknest.'

'This is a family bar right here, son. You don't keep your mouth down I'm going to have to ask you to leave.'

'I aint leavin, Tyler.' Drew sat down. 'I don't get thrown out of nowhere because I set someone straight who left his soakin' wet pants in a barn for me to clean up.'

'Oh boo hoo!' I shouted. 'So you picked up my come-soaked pants. Big fucking deal! So seeing two guys naked triggered your dumb redneck brain? I don't give a shit! What right did you have to get me kicked out of my home? How would you like it if I did that to you?'

Drew stared at me for a moment then threw back his head and laughed. 'Your family actually threw you out? Well hey, am I good or am I good? You bring that dirty shit-poking faggot business onto my family's property, I go to yours and cause a bunch of shit you don't want. But hey, it aint gonna matter in the end, coz you're going to hell when you die anyway and that dirty fox you're with'll be the one to make it happen.'

I stood there, visibly shaking with rage while Tyler the manager looked like he'd never dealt with an awkward scene in his life compared to this.

'Look at you, Aldrington. It's no wonder your daddy's ashamed of you. Anyone else would have tried to kick my ass by now, but you? You're just gonna stand there and do nothing and walk out crying, and nobody in this whole place is gonna care. Nobody's gonna say anything to me. Why? Because my family matter around here. Nobody wants to see them bothered by the likes of you.'

'Yeah?' I said, doing exactly what Shiva had told me and holding my chin up. Because he was wrong. All the times I'd told Colton to calm down, I knew the feelings inside him that he'd been up against when he listened to me. If he'd been here, I wouldn't have listened to him in return. Not when Drew was right: I was surrounded in people and nobody seemed to care about anything he'd said to me being wrong.

Fight fire with fire then. Do it Colton's way. Do it Alfie's. Don't be angry at Roxy for being a bit of a nag. Be angry at someone who deserves it.

Nice boy like me? Sorry Shiva.

'You know what, Drew? It's fine. I'll do nothing I'll just let you be yourself and think you're enjoying your dumb life. Because I'd rather get AIDS and die than be the braindead inbred son of some redneck bitch who was too drunk to know her own family from a dildo.'

He got of his stool now. 'You did not just say that. What the fuck did you say to me?'

'That's enough! The pair of you!' Tyler got between us now. 'Take this away from my bar right now or I'm calling the police.'

I ignored him. 'You know how stupid you are, Drew? People fuck in that barn all the time. I'm only the one you caught. What's the matter, the sweet piece of ass_you_ tried to lay in there got in your pants and then found there was nothing she wanted?'

Drew stared me down, then did as I had and tipped his chin up a little, taking a deep breath through his nose. Except it wasn't a breath he needed for control. Only to fill his throat with the mucus that hit me in the eye after he'd spat. He walked for the door.

Now the whole bar was in action. I couldn't make sense of anything, couldn't understand what he just happened even though the shakes and my thudding heart told me I'd been geared up for a fight. And I wasn't getting one. Because...

'Man, did you see that? The guy just spat in that raccoon's face...' and a hundred other voices all saying the same thing, all bringing it home to me that the only thing more undignified than a fight was being spat at.

And then doing exactly what Drew had said I'd do to restore my dignity: nothing.

There was a half empty wine bottle on the table right next to me. Abandoned by one of the families who had left, probably without paying.

'Come on, let's go out the back.' Shiva, and she had her hands on my shoulders. 'This isn't right, and he's not getting away with it, but just come with Shiva and let's get you cooled-'

I pulled myself out of Shiva's grip, seized the bottle by its neck and flung it at Drew. 'Hey fuckface!' I yelled as I did it, and he turned, realising too late what was happening.

He ducked just enough. The bottle smashed on his antlers.

Now I was ready with the chair, throwing myself full force at him and swinging.

'Fuck!' He shouted, his face full of glass and liquid. He managed to sidestep, sending me into the door. The chair smashed it before my bodyweight could, and I staggered through broken glass and out into the car park. Drew was on me instantly when I turned and tried to re-group, the first punch landing on my jaw and sending me staggering back and tripping over my feet.

'You sack of coon-shit!' He shrieked, running at me and me in the legs as I shifted round and escaped his feet landing in my ribs. 'You threw a bottle in my fucking face?! I'm gonna put you in the hospital for this!'

Wrong. I kicked back, upwards, hoping to get one of his legs, and I got one, right above the knee, deadening his leg and sending him limping back away from me. Surging to my feet, I spat at him back. It missed. But the punch I threw afterwards didn't - it landed in his eye with a wet smack. As he squealed and went down, I dived on him. 'You wanna spit in my face? Do it now you son of a bitch! Do it now!' I hammered my fists into his ribs, then his stomach, until I threw one at him so hard that it missed, because he'd rolled, and I went sprawling onto the tarmac in front of him.

I was dead. I knew it as soon as he had the choke around my neck. Then I really knew it, because he was telling me he was going to do it, and I couldn't breathe, couldn't see, couldn't...

The shot that saved my life rang out.

I didn't know how much time passed since I heard it, but even though I was probably close to death by asphyxiation, I knew a gun going off when I heard it. Before I could get my breath back enough to get off the floor, someone was pulling me up.

'You okay bro?'

Alfie? Oh shit, what had he done? How was he even here?

It wasn't him holding me though. As everything slowed down and my thoughts belonged to me again, I found it was Shiva helping me stay standing for the second time tonight. And that Drew was alive, but looking like he was about to piss his pants. He stood there breathing hard, unable to run but looking like he needed to.

He wasn't dumb enough to. Nobody ran from Alfie. Not even when he was putting a gun back in its holster.

I knew he carried one. He'd held a concealed-carry permit since he'd bought it for himself on his eighteenth birthday. I'd never imagined he'd actually pull it on anyone, he just liked the feeling it gave him. At least that's what I'd always told myself.

Alfie was looking at Drew and calmly lighting a cigarette. 'I don't think I gotta tell you you just did a very stupid thing. But then, you already did that anyway, and I was planning on talking to you. So here we are. You're smart enough not to run. You smart enough to listen too?'

Drew just nodded, holding his stomach like he was about to be sick.

'I think we're a little too late for an apology for what you made happen to my bro,' Alfie said. 'So let's just leave it at this: you're smart enough to know you just got a warning. You touch him again? Next time you won't know what happened. And if I ever hear you spit in someone's face again, you don't wanna know what you're going to get in yours next time. Understand?'

Drew kept nodding, this time frantically.

'Good. Now, if your old man hears about this, what you gonna tell him?' Alfie held a hand up. 'Uh-uh-uh, one way conversation right here. You're going to tell him it was nothing, and even if it was something then that something was your own dumb fault. Got it?'

More nodding.

'And by the way, Drew, just for the record, I hear you told a whole bar of people your family mattered. Your family will be lucky if that farm makes bank for another year. That's how much they matter around here. So next time you wanna talk like a dumb fuck, try that little option called Don't. Now get out of here unless you want me to give the signal for Tyler to call the cops. And if I were you, I'd be working out how to pay him back the money your little fracas tonight just cost him. Because my bro's not picking it up, that's for sure.'

More nodding.

'You're still here because....?'

Drew was certainly taking off now, because just like me he could hear the sirens.

I looked at Alfie, ready to run myself.

'It's cool,' he said. 'Go inside with Shiva and get a drink down you. And don't worry about Tyler, I'll talk to him.'

Tyler was nowhere in sight. The whole bar was empty. Shiva put the closed sign up on the side of the door that was still intact, then brought me a large something on the rocks, and one for herself.

'Go on then. Tell me what I've done and that I'm an idiot. I already know.'

'That boy's a nasty-ass piece of work,' Shiva said. 'Don't go being sorry. I've seen worse happen in this place. You shoulda seen it before Tyler turned it around. Don't go worrying. We'll clean this up and this'll all just blow over.'

'I'll help,' I said. 'It was my fault. I should have just let you take me out the back when you tried.' I looked at Alfie talking to the police out of the window. They looked like the ones in control, but somehow I knew they weren't. He didn't look like someone who might be facing questions about pulling a gun. He looked like...shit, he looked like Dad, twenty years younger and a lot calmer than I'd ever seen him before. The only thing scarier than the thought I could get charged with assault and property damage was watching this.

'Honey,' Shiva said, 'every night Drew Tarbuck's in here I wanna see him get his ass handed to him like you handed it to him. Some people just bring that out in me. I just didn't want someone like you getting in trouble for it. Always figured I'd just be letting one of the losers do it. So that's how your Dad found out you're gay then. Drew called him and told him he found you doing it in a barn.'

'Yeah.'

'And he actually did find your wet pants?'

'Yeah.'

'See, you're smiling already.'

'I'm trying not to think about what my mum's going to say when she hears about this.'

'Your Mum? What can she do?' Shiva pointed out of the window. The police were leaving, and Alfie was waving them goodbye. 'Looks like the boss in your family already took care of everything.'

'How does he do this?' I said. 'Or do I really want to know?'

'He's a doorman who also runs a gas station. He knows the cops. And I know that whenever Tyler shits his pants over something like that, it's him I call because when I call him things work out fine. Talk to him and say thanks and I'll go pacify my boss.' She eyed the drinks. 'On the house.'

* * *

'Nice work bro,' Alfie said, sitting down and lighting another cigarette to go with the drink Shiva had left him. 'Never knew you had it in you.'

'How did you get here so fast?'

'I was on my way anyway. Roxy finally pissed me off that much that I just left her holding the kid for the night. You needed me here, and she had to go and pull one of her needy little days tonight? I tell you what bro, I've fucking had it with that girl. She wants to try and get by without the money I pull in? Maybe it's time I said it. But enough about me. Let's do you. Looks like you're about even on the Tarbuck family front, so thanks, you saved me having to make time to go round there and have that talk. So now there's the old man.'

'This was a bad idea, Alfie. Forget it. And I never wanted you to go round and talk to anyone. I mean...thanks, but...I really don't like dealing with all this kinda thing the way you do. You're my brother and I love you. But when you moved out of our house, I was a little bit more relaxed without you being there and being edgy all the time.'

Alfie looked up at the ceiling for a moment. 'I know. I get all that. I'm who I am and you're who you are. But listen bro, the world isn't as nice as you think. Some problems don't get sorted out by being a clean white sheet. But I respect you for trying. Your life's probably going to be a lot easier than mine, grand scheme of things. I just do what I do. And what I've got to do for you next is get a sit-down with the old man. Oh yeah, and I know you don't need me to say it, but everything about you's still cool. I'm just pissed you told Rocco first. I thought I was your supportive big bro. What happened?'

This was Alfie all over. I knew he was joking. 'Erm, I dunno, try you got married and moved out and never answer your phone.'

'Well, I'm here right now. So let's drink.' he raised his glass and I decided that was a good idea, and clinked mine to it. 'So how are you? How's your life with Colton Vincent, the fox who's always ready to fuck? Interesting choice. I knew you probably liked a lot of stuff you wouldn't admit to, but a nympho fox with a brain condition? That actually surprised even me.'

'You know another thing that's going to surprise you?'

'What?'

'He's outside.'

Alfie turned his head, and there was Colton coming in through the door. 'Jesus, Todd-coon!' he said, grinning all over his face as he shook his head at the mess. 'This is the guy who told me not to go start a fight yesterday?'

'Hey car-thief,' Alfie said. 'You wanna be some help around here? Take this one home and keep him away from barns next time. And redneck deer.'

I sighed. 'This is all over the town, isn't it?'

'Yep. Just be thankful I talked your mum out of coming down here. Granted I only had to say Alfie was here taking care of you. But this is good, Todd-coon. A lot of people don't like the Tarbucks right now. Did he actually spit in your eye?'

'Can we just not talk about?' I said.

'Man,' Colton said. 'There's low and there's _that._He's lucky I don't-'

'He's lucky I'm here to tell you not to go getting ideas, Vincent,' Alfie said. 'I dealt with it. Leave it. You want to help? Help my brother talk through what he's going to say when he sits down with our old man. I'll sort it. We'll make it somewhere public. Not that that seems to guarantee good behaviour even with this one now.' Alfie smiled at me as he got up. 'I think we should move this party elsewhere.