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"You can't do this sir! I need this apartment!", said the distressed leopard gecko.

He was holding the piece of paper that was served to him a week ago that told him he would have to vacate the apartment immediately. It was crumpled in his clenched fist and his eyes were a curious mixture of anger and pleading. A large monitor lizard looked down at him and flicked his tongue out in disgust at the gecko. He was considerably larger than the leopard gecko and although he shared the same colors of scales, his were laid out with the majority of the black on the top of his head with the yellow coming in more along the underside of his chin. His eyes were a golden amber that stared through the smaller lizard and when he spoke his voice was almost as sharp as the suit he wore. His clothes were planned to emphasize his natural colors with the color of the suit being the same black as his scales and his tie the same golden hue as his eyes.

"Now Lenny, be reasonable. I have to make my money back somehow. And you should have seen this coming. You can't afford the rent at the current rate anyway", the monitor hissed.

"You know damn well why I can't afford it Victor! You keep raising the rent every month! And for what! This room is barely big enough to fit me and my heat pad in. You're not exactly giving me luxury accommodations here."

Victor scanned the room quickly and found only a small mattress in the corner, a pile of clothes with a laundry basket, the container for Lenny's grubs, a mini-fridge for drinks, and a rather large heating pad. Victor's eyes focused on the heating pad the longest. It was in good condition, probably lightly used. It was much bigger than Lenny, suggesting he must have gotten it second-hand from a larger lizard. Reptiles often had their own personal heating pad or lamp for one reason or another. Some people were comforted by the artificial heat and others kept them for the colder months so they could be more active without strain to their bodies. The rest of the room was extremely plain. Off-white painted walls and one window that was bolted shut at the bottom. Victor wasn't used to seeing the insides of the properties he managed, but Lenny was being obstinate enough to warrant a personal visit. Having waited long enough to make it seem as though he might change his mind, Victor spoke once more.

"If you would've taken the time to read your lease, you'd know that I have the authority to raise the price of your rent as I see fit. I'm sorry Lenny, but the law isn't on your side in this. Please leave my property as promptly as you can." And with this Victor turned around and went to leave, bringing his tail up to pull the door closed behind him.

Before he could walk through the door frame Victor heard the distinct sound of paper being crumpled up and felt a small impact on the back of his glossy head.

"You can take your eviction notice and shove it up your tail-hole! I'm not leaving."

Victor bent down slowly and picked up the discarded paperwork, unfolding it carefully in his hands. He rubbed at the back of his neck and sighed.

"I was so hopeful it wouldn't have to come to this, but you're giving me no choice in the matter Lenny." He brought the collar of his suit closer to his long mouth and whispered into the microphone hidden there.

In a flash, two security guards walked out of the walls and tackled Lenny to the ground. As they got him under control the off-white slowly faded from the security guards' skin and was replaced by a bright green. Victor turned around and got down to eye level with Lenny, smirking as he spoke.

"Chameleons make the best security! Don't you think so? Now, if you'll excuse me I have further business I must attend to here."

Before Victor could stand up, a small *POP* sound came from the room. Lenny had managed to separate his tail and the chameleons were trying desperately to keep the wriggling mass off of them. This gave Lenny the precious seconds he needed to rush at Victor, eyes blazing in angry slits. Victor, being caught off-guard, fell on his tail and yelped from the sudden impact. He scrambled at his collar and shouted into the microphone.

"I NEED BACKUP NOW!!!"

From the hallway a chameleon jumped over Victor and tackled Lenny so hard they both collided into the other two chameleons and Lenny's tail, rolling to a stop just short of the mattress in the corner of the room.

As Victor picked himself off the floor and composed himself, more security guards arrived outside of the room.

"That wasn't the smartest thing to do Lenny. I could throw you in jail for trying to rush at me like that! But for today, I'll settle for forcible eviction. Take him away."

The chameleons took Lenny out of the apartment with little resistance. As Victor was finishing up paying the security their wages, he signaled to one to come closer to him.

He whispered to him, "Make sure that when his possessions go up for auction that the heating pad is missed." The chameleon nodded and went back to his usual post in the apartment complex.

~~~

Victor pulled into his long driveway and parked his car. Slamming the door of the Viper, he made his way into his house. It was so enormous that the top of the roof could be seen from the highway. He flicked on the lights and made his way to the kitchen. He often liked to grab a snack after a long day of work and today was no exception. Opening up the smart refrigerator with a swipe of his claws, he reached in and grabbed a few gourmet grubs and then closed it behind him. He made his way to his main living room area and flicked on the light. Or more accurately, turned on the massive red heat lamp that was in the corner of the room. Victor felt the familiar warmth wash over him and made his way to his couch.

On the way to the couch he passed dozens of other heat lamps of varying sizes, shapes, and colors. Victor was a "collector" of the appliances. They fascinated him and over the years of working his way up in the business of real-estate he had come to rely on their dull glow to get him through the day to day grind. He had one for every occasion imaginable, from fancy ornate lamps with gems inlaid on the interior of the bulb to the simplest of lamps that turned on with a flick of an on/off switch. He had wide ones, tall ones, short ones, and round ones. He had lamps that were discontinued and lamps that were mass-produced. A few even had precise controls for the amount of heat they gave off! And at least a half dozen of them could be turned on and off by Victor clapping his hands together.

He made sure to use all of them at least once. It was often the most exciting part of getting a new lamp. Feeling the way the warmth washed over his scales in varying patterns and intensity. He would spend long hours going over all the effects that the particular heat lamp had on him. Next to making an amazing property deal, it was the single most exhilarating activity he experienced. Hard to believe that he hadn't bought any of these heat lamps.

Not to say that he couldn't afford a collection of this size, that wasn't it at all. It was a lot simpler than that. Victor was worried how it would look for people to know that a respectable lizard like himself collected heating lamps. So, he found another way to use his status and position to get them.

Before Victor could sit down on his couch he heard a slight knocking at his front door. He walked over and opened it up to find that the chameleon from earlier was standing outside. In his arms he carried a large, unmarked package that he held out for Victor to take from him. Victor's eyes lit up and he had such a hard time containing his excitement that he forgot to pay the chameleon for the delivery. Victor went to take the package, but the chameleon flicked his tongue out and stuck it to the package, looking up at Victor expectantly.

"Oh, of course! How rude of me!"

Victor slipped the chameleon a small envelope into his shirt pocket and patted it down against him. The chameleon looked from the envelope to Victor a few times and once he was satisfied, reeled his tongue back into his mouth and let Victor take the package from him. He tipped his security hat, turned around, and disappeared into the black night. Victor was left standing in his front doorway clutching the oversized package to him like it was a present. He rushed inside and slammed the door behind him, taking his package to his dining room table to open it up.

He set the package on the table gently and used his front claws to open a hole in the cardboard that he could pull the object out through. A low grumble built in his throat as he pulled out the heating pad that was in Lenny's apartment earlier in the day. It was magnificent! Not the first heating pad that he had acquired but it was certainly the largest. It was wasted on a small fry like Lenny. Victor would make sure that it was appreciated properly.

He disposed of the packaging and took the pad over to another room to get his cleaning supplies. He always made sure to thoroughly clean the heating pads he acquired after the incident where he contracted stomatitis from one. The antibiotic regimen was grueling and he didn't want to have to go through that again. He scrubbed the heating pad vigorously and hissed in time to his motions. He was so used to this routine by now that he thought nothing of it. Buy a property at low cost, fix it up a little, rent it out to some lizard, and evict them later so he could take their heating lamp. It was a good racquet, too! Made him quite a bit of money over the years as the tenants tried desperately to keep up with the skyrocketing rent. But it always ended the same way. They left, whether willing or not, and he could add another lamp to his collection. He finished the scrubbing in record time and washed the mat off quickly. He pulled a special towel from one of the drawers in his kitchen and dried the mat from top to bottom. Feeling satisfied with his handiwork, he rolled the mat up, grabbed his snack from off the counter, and strode into his living room confidently.

He flicked the other heat lamp off as he walked into the room and laid out the new heating pad on the floor. He stripped down to his underwear so he could feel the full effects of the new pad as it heated up his underbelly scales. He grabbed the TV remote with his tail, flicked on a random station, and turned on the new heating pad. Victor laid on that heating pad for hours, eating a grub every so often. Letting the feeling of warmth permeate his underside and radiate out through him. He was so calm, in fact, that he caught himself nodding off a few times during one of his favorite shows. Once he'd had his fill of TV, he got up, turned off all the appliances and went to bed. That heating pad was well worth the price. He hadn't been this relaxed in months!

~~~

A few months passed by and the weather turned harsh and cold. Vincent, like most lizards this time of the year, spent more time inside to conserve his energy. Being cold-blooded meant that he was going to have less energy every day until the weather started to warm up again. He planned for this change in energy every year and made sure that the apartments could run themselves for a few months without too much involvement on his part.

He came out of one of the complexes he owned after doing one last check through the building and could feel the change in weather coming in his veins. Under his scales, it felt as though his blood was moving slower already. He wrapped his tail around his waist to keep it from freezing behind him and checked the weather app on his phone. From the looks of the enormous weather front that was steadily moving towards his house there'd be a significant amount of snow falling tonight. Perfect conditions for a cozy night in! He had planned out his entire night before he even made it to his car.

Victor walked into his house and checked the thermostat first thing. Sure enough, the temperature had dropped ten degrees since he was at the complex. He thought about turning on the heat, but then remembered how much it cost him to heat his house. After doing some quick math in his head, he decided that it was much too early in the season to turn it on. Instead, he had another idea that should work just as well.

He went into his living room and plugged in as many heat lamps, lightbulbs, and heating pads as he could into the house's electrical system. He figured if one was good enough to heat himself, then all of them would be more than enough to heat the entire house. He clicked them on one by one and slowly his house became bright and toasty. As he walked through his house, Victor thought about why he hadn't tried this out sooner. Each room had a different feel to it now! All of them warm and comforting but in subtly different ways. The living room was hot, but mellow. The kitchen was warm, but inviting. The hallways were tepid, yet comforting. His house had become a slice of Summer in the middle of a raging snowstorm outside. It was heavenly.

Then while going between the bathroom and the hallway he noticed that one of the heating pads was not plugged in. So, he reached down, plugged it in, and then went to flip the switch...

CCCCRRRRRRZZZZZZZZTTTTTTT!!!!!

The whole house shook and bright yellow and white sparks erupted from the socket, shocking Vincent forcefully against the hallway wall. When he came to, he found that the whole house was dark and cold. Very cold. Vincent tried to hop up, but found that he couldn't move very fast. He slowly plodded over to the thermostat to see how bad it had gotten while he was unconscious. If his blood wasn't already half-frozen, what he saw would have chilled him. The temperature was 10 below and it looked like it was still dropping.

Vincent started to panic.

He rushed as fast as he could down the hallway into the closet that held the massive fuse box for the house. He pried the panel open with his claws and saw that the feedback from the blowout was so immense that half of the fuse switches were melted down. He'd have to call someone in the morning to come in and fix it. But he didn't have that kind of time.

Wait, call? Of course! Vincent still had his cell phone on him. How could he forget that? It might still have a charge left on it. He made his way back out to the kitchen and picked up the cell phone laying on the counter. Five percent wasn't a lot to work with, but it would be enough to make a phone call that could get him out of this mess. He called the closest store that could sell him anything to keep warm and would be open at this time of night. After an agonizing number of rings, a female songbird chirped into the line at the other end of the phone.

"Hello and welcome to Wallaby-Mart, how can I assist you this evening?"

"I know thissss sssoundsss odd to asssk, but do you have any portable heaterssss?", Vincent hissed through chattering teeth.

"Oh, no! We haven't had any of those in months! We ran out and since no one asked about them we haven't ordered any more in. You sound terrible sir, are you by chance a lizard? I wasn't aware we still had lizard residents in the city. I haven't seen one come in the store in a long time."

"Do you perhapsss have any heated blanketssss left over?"

"No, I'm afraid we're out of those as well. You should have gotten here earlier sir, what with the storm and everything folks were buying them left and right. I can set something up for you if..."

The line cut out abruptly. Vincent looked to the phone as it powered itself down. He was out of luck.

Vincent made his way to his bedroom and tried to wrap himself in as many layers of the thin blankets he did have as best he could. He sat against his headboard and curled up, trying not to focus on the cold creeping through his body. Urging him to sleep, to rest. It was too cold to move, conserve energy and just sleep. The heating lamps sat around the room staring at his huddled form, each one silent and dead.

Vincent lost track of time. He couldn't tell if he had been sitting in the room for minutes or hours. But he did know when he felt the warmth again. He looked up from underneath the mountain of blankets and saw the heat lamps putting off the familiar heat. The heat rose and rose as he sat unable to move his body. He felt the warmth permeate his scales.

The warmth was not comforting.