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The Seeker, Chapter 27

By William W. Kelso

The next day after everyone got up it was work time; time to clean up Mistress Varna's dump of a domain. I suggest diverting a lava flow through it, but as usual was ignored. I still think it would have worked, and saved a lot of time. Of course I got stuck with the nastiest job of all, cleaning out the bedroom. I took one look and even the mattress was beyond saving. It stank, and even by Hell's standards it reeked. You could SEE the fumes rising off of it. The heap of old bed linens was just as bad. And the poor rat demon was still chained to the wall, we hadn't found out how to release him yet. So he got to sit and watch my efforts. First I piled all the linens and pillows onto a spread and tied it in a bundle, and when I picked it up it split and dumped everything on the floor again. Great, so much for that idea. The rat demon sniggered, so I asked him if he wanted to do it, and that shut him up.

So I decided to try something else, and piled all the covers on the bed. Then next I grabbed the huge mattress and pulled it off, planning to just drag the whole mess to the front portal of the domain and dump it in the desert. As I pulled on the mattress it disturbed a huge nest of Hell roaches that had been inside and under it, and they swarmed; all over me, and I freaked out. I HATE bugs. Some of the things were two feet long, and they came running up my arms, and in response I blasted the whole area with my fire plume, setting the roaches, mattress, and pretty much everything else on fire.

"PET, WHAT THE FUCK!" Vulva screeched as Pet came howling through the office dragging a flaming mattress covered with flaming insects and other debris; and she noticed he was covered in flaming insects as well, but he didn't pay her any attention and disappeared out the door and down the tunnel, the screams and roars fading into the distance. What the HELL was that all about? She wondered, she'd told him to clean the place, not burn it down! Not that there was much to burn, like all domains it was mainly rock, but evidently he'd found a way. Jumping up she went to see what remained of the bedroom, but to her surprise it looked pretty good overall. The rat demon was hiding under his sleeping pad, a few roasted bugs were kicking feebly on the floor, but the place was pretty much cleaned out and only needed a good moping. Well, the main thing was he'd done as she asked, just in a rather spectacular way. Satisfied, she went back to the office to keep going through the desk and filing cabinets. She didn't worry about Pet, he'd show up again sooner or later.

Lisa was getting a tour of the domain from Max, who impressed her more and more. The rather meek; or cowed, demon was a lot smarter then he probably realized himself. She found his loyalty to his former, or new, or rather both versions of his Mistress; despite the original having been so horrible, rather touching. She suspected he'd secretly loved her from afar. He was giving her a tour of the manufacturing facilities and shops which had been scaled back to only mandatory production for now, the rest of the workers were helping to clean up the domain. They'd been hauling huge piles of debris and trash out to the desert since early morning, and had tons to go. It was amazing how much garbage and stuff there was, but of course you could pile up a lot over 1000+ years. They'd had to duck into a storeroom when a flaming dragon came roaring down the tunnel dragging a large equally flaming heap of garbage, but other than that the tour had been pretty uneventful so far.

"What was that all about?" Max asked, as they walked back out into the smoke filled tunnel, screams and roars fading into the distance.

"Oh, it was just Pet, Lisa replied. Get used to it. The poor thing means well, but he's kind of, well, accident prone. Just stay out of his way and you'll be OK. Oh, and don't give him any ammonia, it makes him drunk."

Max just scratched an ear and shrugged, and then it was on with the tour.

Lisa was looking at some blacksmith forges where they made manacles and chains as the main product of Mistress Varna's domain was torture and bondage equipment and devices. As Max explained they made racks of every kind, cages, chains and manacles, collars, Iron Maidens, "X" frames, torture tables and frames, presses, tongs, and all sorts of horrible stuff. Hell needed lots of that kind of stuff and business was good. It was amazing how fast some of the stuff wore out, so new replacements were always in short supply. The stuff didn't bother her that much anymore though, and some of it looked like it could be lots of fun under the right circumstances. Next was a shop that made "X" frames, they were quite well made and top quality, and had an adjustable pintle mount in the center which enabled them to be rotated in any direction or angle, which made them quite versatile as far as torture was concerned, but they had other 'uses' as well. Max was telling her an interesting bit of information that the word pintle was derived from the word 'pintel', which meant 'penis' in Middle English. Frankly she could have cared less, but at the word 'penis' she decided to stop messing around, she'd wanted to jump him ever since she met him. For such a scrawny demon he was amazingly well endowed, and she'd seen the way he looked at her, but or a demon he was amazingly shy. As he turned away from the frame she pushed up against him, and said,

"Max, don't you think we ought to give it a test, to make sure it's working correctly?" She asked as she pressed her breasts against him and fondled his nice heavy balls, and the look on his muzzle was priceless.

As I burst out of the portal, ablaze from snout to tail, the two Imps on guard let out shrill bleats of terror and dived for cover. I just ignored them and kept on going, convinced the blazing mattress; that was caught on my tail barb, had come to life and was chasing me.

"Yi, yi, yi, Owooooo, Neeeiiigghhhh, RAARRGGGGHHHH!" I howled as I ran into the desert leaving a trail of dead smoldering insects.

I'm on fire, I thought, I'm on fire! Then I slowed down as something finally occurred to me. Wait a minute, I'm a fire demon! Of course I'm on fire! A little embarrassed I came to a halt, and turning around freed the burning mattress from my tail barb. Geez, I hope nobody saw that. The bugs were all gone, crispy critters by now, so I calmed down pretty quick. I'd panicked when the giant roaches had swarmed over me even though they couldn't hurt me or anything, they were just so, so, eyuck! Despite being a rather large dragon; and fire demon to boot, I still have a thing about bugs. And clowns; and lots of other things come to think of it. I'm afraid I'm a bit of wuss. Suddenly I noticed the sand starting to sink into little cone shaped depressions all around me, and realized where I was. Oh, double damn it! I made a run for it, but it was too late, the sand worms had found me.

Varna watched as a cleanup crew she was supervising personally went through the larders and storage rooms of the kitchen that prepared the food for the Imps and demonkind. She had been appalled by the absolutely filthy condition of the facility. Despite the fact demonkind were immune to disease or poisoning; and Imps were pretty much as well from built up immunity, she was still shocked. Most of the food there was appeared to be spoiled or of such poor quality it was almost inedible. It was worse for the Imps, many of them were herbivores who ate grain, or in Hell's case, mostly fungi based food. The demonkind were mostly carnivores, and if they got hungry enough, well, that was one purpose Imps and beasts served. Being a vampire her own diet was mainly liquid, but she did enjoy a nice rare steak every now and then.

"All of it, Varna hissed, dump ALL of it! I wouldn't feed this to rats!"

"Hey Mistress, I'm pat rat!" One of the demon overseers squeaked in indignation.

"Sorry, I meant humans." Varna corrected, she needed to watch those slips. So far as they knew she was the original Varna.

She watched as the piles of rotted mushroom like fungi were loaded into large carts to be hauled off to be dumped in the desert. It worked out pretty good as the sand worms would eat anything, literally. Within a few minutes of dumping a load of garbage it would be swarming with the vermin, and in a few more minutes would be gone. The thing was they had to be careful; they'd already lost a couple of Imps to some larger worms, so she had several of the overseers carry power lances now. That had put an end to that. Fortunately the really big ones stayed in the deep desert reaches.

Lisa squeaked as Max cranked the "X" frame into an upright level position, squirming as she tried the heavy leather straps around her wrists and ankles that held her securely eagle spread; and nude of course. The "X" frame was designed so her rump and head hung over the 'V''s of the "X", leaving her completely exposed and vulnerable, which was the whole idea.

"Hmmm, Lisa said, looks like the straps are nice and tight, and the pintle works OK. Max, better see if any, um, vibrations would cause anything to loosen up."

Lisa raised her head and watched as Max finished turning the crank and locked it in place, and then moved into the lower "X" of the frame. His penis jutted up, thick and hard, pre glistening on the tip, her lips and tongue had seen to that.

"First, Max said, I'd better make sure ALL the parts are nice and lubricated."

And Lisa squealed in pleasure as he pressed his muzzle to her sex and began energetically licking and tonguing her pussy.

"I agree! Eeeeek! We need to be very thorough in our test inspections!" she squealed, biting her lip at the lovely feeling as his tongue slid between her labial lips and deep into her sex with a loud slurp.

It took me about half an hour to discourage the sand worms. They couldn't hurt me, but that didn't keep them from trying, they aren't very bright, just mean. As I walked up to portal a few small worms were still holding on, and the guards blasted a couple of bigger diehards that were still following me, that is when they could they were laughing so hard. As I passed I flicked my tail and a couple of the ones hanging on let go and landed on top of the guards. They weren't big enough to do any damage, but it kept the guards busy for a minute or two.

"Har-de-har-har!, say hello to my little friends. Have fun!" I hissed as I passed through the portal.

I was already in a bad mood as Lydia had flown back to Master Vulkrebs domain to look after her hatchlings, and I was lonely. I missed my mate so much. And the incident with the flaming cockroaches and sand worms had put me in an even fouler mood. Plus there weren't' any urinal cakes or brimstone cookies in the whole domain! It was downright uncivilized; it was like living in the dark ages. Well, Hell's dark ages have never really ended, but it was still pretty bad.

Vulva looked up as Pet came sulking into the office and plopped down in a corner, and tucked his snout under his tail without even saying hello, which was definitely not like him. He was usually so cheerful it was annoying. He was covered in soot and pieces of burned cloth were stuck to his spines and tail barb. As she watched a very small sand worm let go of one of his wings and squiggled off out the door squealing. Concerned, she got up and went over to him.

"Pet, what's wrong?" Vulva asked as she squatted down next to him. He just grunted and tucked his head further under his tail.

"Peeeet, what's wrong my little jelly bean?" And she hissed at the computer when she heard a snigger.

I opened an eye, and said, "I'm sorry Mistress, I ruined the bedroom. I didn't mean to set the bed on fire, but there were all these bugs, it was gross!"

"But Pet, Vulva said, you didn't set the bed on fire, just the mattress, and it cleaned out that nasty nest of Hell roaches perfectly. And that was a good idea to dump the mattress in the desert."

"Really Mistress?" I said, brightening up a little bit.

"Oh yes Pet, you did good, as soon as they get through mopping up the place Varna can move right back in with no problem, and we even got the shower working."

"Well, that's great Mistress." I said, and giving a sad hiss shut my eyes again.

"Come on Pet, Vulva insisted, what's wrong?"

"I miss Lydia Mistress, and I HATE this place, I said. It's so, so nasty, and I don't know anybody! I even miss that stupid plant! I want to go home."

"Yes, it is a bit dreary, Vulva agreed, but it's cleaning up nicely. We ordered a bunch of supplies for the kitchen, and they should be here soon. Including several cases of Tidy Bowl urinal cakes and brimstone cookies. If you keep being good you can have some. Would you like that?"

Now that did cheer me up somewhat. I love the things; ammonia is to fire demons what candy is to humans. Plus enough of the stuff gives me a buzz, I love Lysol, but Mr. Clean sucks. And the industrial grade stuff, oh wow! That's why they wouldn't let me help with the moping crews, I'd drink all the cleaner.

"Thank you Mistress, that sounds great." I said, and rubbed my head against her legs.

"You take a nap for now Pet, Vulva said, we're having a meeting in a couple of hours to see how things are moving along, and to decide what to do next. We don't need you for anything else for right now." She watched fondly as the large red dragon curled up a little tighter, and soon started snoring with soft hisses. It was amazing; he could fall asleep almost instantly, anywhere. She sat by him for a few more minutes and stroked his scaly head and he made happy noises in his sleep.

"Why do you let him get away with so much anyway?" The computer asked.

"Because he gives so much in return, Vulva replied. He's, well, different."

"Well, he's definitely different! The Varna PC said, did he really burn down Lord de Sade's pleasure palace and sink two ships?"

"Oh, that was nothing compared to some of the other things he's 'accomplished'." Vulva hissed in amusement. "And he's quite good at his job, even if he is a tad unconventional at times."

"Well, you know some of the others think it's a disgrace, the things you let him get away with." The Varna PC said.

"And they can kiss his ass, Vulva replied, after he finishes chewing theirs off."

The PC gave an electronic snigger, "Oh, I'd LOVE to see that!"

"Don't underestimate him, Vulva hissed in a dead serious tone of voice, don't ever do that. It would be a BIG mistake."

"Oh, I don't mean me! The PC said, in fact I was always kind of jealous. I've never had a slave who, well, cared about me like that."

"Yes you do, did, you were just too mean to notice." Vulva said.

"You mean Max, don't you? The PC said, but you're wrong, I knew. I just didn't know how to return his, um, affection. And I always liked him too, he always enjoyed it so much when I fed off of him, and he was always so...so happy when I picked him. It's too late now though."

"Why? Vulva asked, why don't you just tell him?"

"NO, please don't! The PC said, at least not yet. I want things to settle down first."

"Well, just don't wait a thousand years this time." Vulva said.

Lisa squealed in pleasure as Max finally mounted her, he lunged until he hilted, then began fucking her with steady rhythmic thrusts, his lips pulled back from his impressive fangs in a snarl of lust. She squirmed in her restraints, this was the first time she'd had sex as a 'helpless victim', and she was loving being 'raped'. There was something about being totally helpless and at someone else's 'mercy' that really turned her on. And what he had done with his tongue! He'd made her cum twice already, the demon had talent! She shrieked in delight as she came again, and he gave a deep groan as he pumped his cum into her womb, then with a deep growl he kept fucking her, and she bucked and squealed in surprise, but it was a nice surprise as she struggled helplessly, shrieking in pleasure.

The last time Max had sex was when Mistress Varna had fed off of him and raped him, and it had been glorious. In fact he seldom had sex with any other partners, saving himself for when she wanted him. Not that he was completely abstinent inbetween; if his need got too unbearable he just grabbed an Imp for a quick mating. But this was the first time he'd mated with another demonkind; other than his Mistress, in years, and she was so beautiful. He had been flattered by her interest in him, he knew he was no prize, his colorings were blotchy and he was skinny to the point of looking emaciated, plus due to poor diet his fur was patchy and thin in places. But when she'd started fondling him, then licking and sucking his cock, well, not even the Mistress had ever done that! He'd felt lust wash over him, more intense then he could remember, and as he serviced the little bat demones, oh, the pleasure was almost agonizing. As he kept fucking her, cumming again and again, her own sounds of pleasure growing louder, he slipped into a kind of sexual euphoria he'd never felt before. And as he looked at her open shrieking muzzle he suddenly saw not Lisa writhing under his thrusts, but his Mistress. With a deep moan he leaned over her and put his head against her breasts so she could reach his neck if she wished to feed, and sped up his thrusts, sobbing.

"Oh, ohhhh, UGGHHH! Varna, I love you!!" Max sobbed as he reached his most intense orgasm yet, and as he came he leaned over Lisa; still sobbing, holding her in tight embrace.

Even as Lisa gave a final almost supersonic screech of ecstasy as she came again; she'd lost track of how many times, she still heard Max cry Varna's name. She stayed quiet as he held her; sobbing, and her own lust slowly faded. That was an amazing fuck, she thought, but this poor demon has issues.

Not remembering what he had done Max finally regained his senses, and giving Lisa a long lick or two on her muzzle, which she returned, he finally dismounted. He couldn't remember the last time a mating had lasted so long, or been so intense. His cock was still hard, and he'd started to unbuckle one of the straps around Lisa's ankles, when Lisa said,

"Why Max, don't tell me we're through? Shouldn't we test the vertical adjustment on the pintle?"

Max gave a happy growl as he cranked the "X" frame into a vertical position, Lisa now suspended upside down. Then he growled again as she slowly swallowed his cock, the angle allowing her to swallow almost the whole entire thirteen inches, her throat bulging. Then he thrust his muzzle between her spread legs and with loud slurping laps and licks began to 'eat' her pussy, her muffled squeals causing his cock to vibrate deliciously. He had never done this before, and it was fantastic! He started thrusting with his hips, and pushed his tongue as deeply into her pussy as it would go, which was pretty deep. He had his jaws open so wide he had to be careful not to bite her as he clamped down gently over her crotch, his tongue busy, the delicious taste of her sexual juices filling his mouth.

Lisa bucked against the frame, the rock hard cock in her mouth spurting cum into her throat again and again. By Dis, when would he stop?? She wondered, giving a muffled screech of pleasure as she came again, his tongue deep inside her sex. She'd actually managed to swallow every inch, her lips sucking the base of his cock as her tongue slid up and down its pulsing straining length. He must have pumped a gallon into me so far, she thought, his balls are big, but not that big! But wherever it was coming from it felt wonderful as it filled her to overflowing, his cum thick and salty. Finally he pulled free of her pussy and gave a loud snarl, his body shuddering as he came one last time, and she gagged and choked as cum dripped from her mouth as he pulled out.

After he cranked the "X" frame back up and undid the straps she gave him a long slow 'kiss', their muzzles grinding together as they snarled softly, each tasting both their sexes in the others mouth.

"You know Max, Lisa said, we'll need to inspect those mounting braces and racks you showed me earlier sometime tomorrow. We need to make sure they can hold up to...strenuous use." His only reply was a deep growl.

Varna gave a satisfied hiss as the last load of garbage from the kitchen storerooms was dumped into a huge pile, sand worms swarming over it. For all their faults they certainly made excellent scavengers, she thought. I wonder if they can be trained? With a final hiss she turned to an overseer.

"You, you take over. Varna said, I'll be in my office if anyone needs me."

Vulva looked over at Pet who was evidently having a bad dream, he was whimpering a little and kicking his hind legs feebly. She knew it was best to just leave him be unless it was a really bad one and he started screaming, otherwise if she woke him up it confused and scared him. She'd 'listened' in on a couple of his dreams once or twice via their mind link and had been appalled at the pain and terror. His nightmares were about the two sisters that had sacrificed him to her, after torturing him horribly first. She felt a simmering rage every time she thought about those two psychopaths, and vowed she would make them pay for what they'd done to him. For all her faults she truly loved the little dragon, and it hurt her to see him suffer. He gave a loud pain filled squeal, and she was about to go to him when Varna came into the office and the sound woke him up. He gave a snort and sleepily raised his head, his flaming eyes looking around questioningly.

"Hello Vulva, hello Pet, Varna said."

"Hello Mistress Varna", I replied, smacking my jaws. I'd been having another nightmare, but thankfully didn't remember anything. I still had them a lot, but didn't remember much afterwards anymore, which was a small mercy. You'd think being what I was I wouldn't have nightmares, it just wasn't fair. But this was Hell.

Hello Varna, Vulva said, right on time. You see Max or Lisa?"

And with perfect timing Max and Lisa came in, and at their scents Vulva and Varna both raised their eyebrows and Pet gave a snort. They both reeked of sex, but politely no one said anything.

"Well good, Vulva said, looks like we're all here. Now how about a report, what kind of progress are we making?"

"The kitchens and storerooms have been cleared out, Varna said, and they're giving them a good washing down as we speak. And the supplies are arriving; the first load was being dropped off even as I was heading here."

"The facilities and shops are in good shape, Lisa said, Max here really knows his stuff. They could use some tidying up and new tools, but they're running smoothly. The Imps are well trained and the overseers know what they're doing."

"Excellent Max, Vulva said, I think it's time you were made head overseer. What do you think Varna, both of you?"

"I agree, Varna said, the PC adding 'Definitely'".

Max beamed, but felt horribly embarrassed at the same time. He wasn't used to praise, and certainly not from three Mistress's at the same time!

Lisa said, "There are a couple of storage areas left to go through and clean out, but otherwise we're pretty much done, except for the sweeping up and moping, plus setting off some sulfur bombs to get rid of the last of the vermin. We need to catch some devourers and tunnel lizards and set them loose as well, that would help a lot."

"Hmmm, good idea, Vulva said, ours just had another clutch, and we're being overrun by the little varmints. I'll have the Imps catch a few and we'll bring them next time we come to visit. They'll certainly have enough to eat. This domain isn't nearly as large as I thought it would be, we're ahead of schedule. Anyone got any ideas as to how to improve things?"

Timidly Max said, "Well, we have some equipment that was damaged and returned. We could renovate it; it would be cheaper than building from scratch. I always thought if we offer to buy back damaged or worn equipment we could repair it and resale it at a discount."

"That, Vulva said, is what I like to hear. OK Max, I'm putting you in charge of looking into that. Find out if there's a market for used and/or refurbished equipment, and see if you can buy old worn out stuff with any room for profit if it's fixed up and resold."

"Y-Yes Mistress Vulva!" Max replied.

"Go Max!" Lisa said.

After talking things over for a little while longer Vulva thought about it, then said,

"Well, this didn't take nearly as long as I thought it would. Frankly I'm impressed, except for the garbage and lousy housekeeping this domain was run pretty well. As far as output and productivity were concerned there were no major problems. So, I think I'll leave Mistress Varna and Max in charge, and Pet and I will wing it back to my own domain, I really need to check up on things and make sure the kids are behaving. Between this domain and the new one I've been away far too long. Lisa, I want to stay here and find out more about what happened with the original Varna, this computer thing is just creepy. That OK with you PC Varna?"

"Of course, PC Varna said, I like working with Lisa, she's bright. And Max, good job."

Max looked at the floor and rubbed his hooves together. "Thank you Mistress Varna." He said softly.

"No, thank YOU, Max." the PC said.

When he went to sleep later that night Max had a big grin on his muzzle.

"Well good, everything settled! Vulva hissed, Come on Pet, we still have time to make the domain before it gets too late. I think everything here is in good hands. If you have any trouble don't hesitate to call me though, or Master Vulkrebs, his domain is closer."

After all around goodbyes, and 'have a good flight's', Mistress Vulva and I were ready to go. I certainly knew I was, I couldn't wait it to get out of Varna's domain, the place was depressing, and talk about a dump. All those instruments of torture had set off my nightmares again; I knew what it was like to be strapped to a rack while someone tormented me. I gave happy snorts, prancing as we excited through the portal.

Vulva took a deep breath of the hot sulfur tainted air of Hell's main desert, it sure smelled good after the stench of Varna's domain, though it was much better now. She watched Pet taking deep breaths too, and knew he felt the same way.

"Come on Pet, last one there has to give the other a massage!" Vulva shrieked as she leapt into the air.

"Hey, no fair Mistress! I said as I followed, you know I'm not allowed to fly in front of you!"

Vulva didn't answer, she just gave a maniacal cackling laugh, and he roared in anticipation.

The flight went quickly, and I almost feel asleep a couple of times as we soared on updrafts and let tailwinds push us along almost effortlessly. I loved to fly more than anything; except for making love to My Mistress or Lydia, it was a freedom I don't think the grounded can ever truly understand. And for all my size I'm surprisingly graceful, and set down as light as a feather when we reached Mistress Vulva's domain, and to me home sweet home, such as it was. For once the Imps on guard were actually glad to see me as well as the Mistress. The first few years I was here I was nothing but a pain the ass and an embarrassment, but after I cleaned up my act I got along much better with the other demonkind and Imps. I pitched in whenever I could, and came in handy when it came to moving large heavy items, and they appreciated it. Plus I started looking out for the Imps more instead of just treating them as disposable commodities like most of the higher ranking demonkind do. If you work with; and know somebody, it's kind of hard to think of them that way anymore. You can't afford to get too attached to them though, when you're immortal and they'll die of old age after a hundred to two hundred years it can get hard on you. So I treat them decently, but I don't buddy around with them. The Mistress treats them quite well by Hell's standards too, and they reward that with fierce loyalty.

The first thing we did when we entered The Mistress's office was to check on the babies, who were already in bed. Then I ran over to my favorite asbestos rug in a corner and rolled around on it with happy hisses. There was no one in the office, so Mistress Vulva sent an hmail to Lisa to let her know we had arrived, and sent an Imp to find the demon we'd left in charge, a guy named Randy, and to tell him she was back, but not to bother her until morning. The place was spick and span, and Vulva was quite pleased, I could tell from the way she hissed contentedly.

Vulva WAS quite pleased. The records were all up to date, the books were in order, and all the flagged hmails really were important ones. Randy had deleted all the Spam instead of just leaving it for her to wade through. There was only one really important one, and she checked the date and gave a sigh of relief, and sent a confirmation. Even better yet, there was a detailed hmail from Carl at the new domain giving her a 'situation report', and everything was running smoothly there as well. And the icing on the cake, one of the survey crews had found traces of Hell Gold in one the huge cavern systems that were still being explored. If they found enough of that incredibly rare mineral to make mining it practical, well, that could triple the value of the domain and its profits. Great Lord Ba'al would be just as pleased as Vulva; which was good, all because Pet accidently blew himself through a wall while playing with a case of unstable Fulminate of Mercury.

Vulva looked over at Pet and he'd fallen asleep again, lying on his back with his mouth open, tongue hanging out, flaming drool dripping on the floor with crackling little pops. She got up and walked over and gently rubbed his stomach bands, and he kicked a hind leg and squealed, but didn't wake up. She gave him a final rub, and then went to get cleaned up. She felt filthy. Later after she'd gone to bed; it felt so good to sleep in her own bed after being away for so long and cuddle up with the babies, she heard Pet silently enter the bedroom and lie down at the foot of her bed with a soft grunt She felt perfectly safe as she drifted off the sleep, but regretted she was just too damned tired for a massage.

We both slept in late as I was exhausted, and I know My Mistress was too. Usually she had me service her before going to bed; but not last night. I was kind of glad she hadn't as I had a feeling we'd have both fallen asleep halfway through with me draped over her. But come to think of it that WOULD be a nice way to spend the night. I could wake up every hour or so, fuck her again, and go back to sleep. While she was in the bathroom I went to my own special 'bathroom' to relive myself, I only pass liquid that looks like molten lead and has the properties of explosive acid. If I use a regular toilet it just blows up, or if I go in a tunnel it leaves holes in the floor, which tends to piss off the inhabitants. So like a good house broken dragon I go in a kind of giant litter box full of sand, meow. Or I do if I know what's good for me. I had to go really bad once, so took a whizz in a cleaning supplies closet, and I had no idea that stuff in those tins was explosive. After they dug me out My Mistress kicked by scaly but up and down the tunnels for half an hour.

The morning went by nice and slow, and better yet, uneventful. Which in Hell is just great, I'll take boring over exciting anytime. My Mistress caught up on domain business, Randy came by and gave a report, making Mistress Vulva even happier. He's one sharp demon and I know My Mistress has plans for him. He said Bernie would be by later to give us a report on the supplies situation; Bernie was the demon overseer in charge of the supply room, and then it was lunch time. It was such a nice day, and I was perfectly content to doze in my corner keeping one eye on the door, but I should have known better by now, it was too good to last.

Vulva got up from her desk, stretched with a happy hiss, and said,

"Pet, I'm expecting a VERY important guest in about an hour, so do NOT attack anything no matter how creepy it looks. That is unless it attacks you first. And get some brimstone cookies and urinal cakes ready in the break room, and heat up some of that green sulfur tea you do so lovely."

Oh boy, I thought, tea and crumpets; that I could do! Even though I had NO idea what a crumpet was. I'd asked My Mistress once, but she'd just yelled at me. I think they're some sort of weird biscuit. So I put on my best hoity-toity proper English dragon butler persona, and said,

"Very well madam, I shall announce when tea is served."

"Yes, please do." Vulva said, as she clopped down the hall to her private chambers.

I busied myself in the so-called break room which has décor ala a combination of Wild West saloon, roman orgy, and Victorian whore house. It's tacky, but it works. Belle Star, Wild Bill Hickok, Emperor Nero, Billy the Kid, Molly Brown, Diamond Jim Brady, and Attila the Hun would have felt right at home. In fact I've served tea to some of them. Billy comes by every now and then to 'visit' Mistress Vulva and loves to 'make me dance' by shooting at my feet. I don't mind, we know the bullets can't hurt me, and it's funnier then, well, Hell, and we all get a laugh out of it. Poncho Villa does the same thing, but his aim isn't as good as Billy's, he usually misses the floor and just shoots me by mistake; I think. Old Poncho's OK though, he's the life of a party. That guy can drink Tequila like water. He's a lousy shot though.

I made up a nice platter of an assortment of different types and flavors of brimstone and sulfur cookies, with urinal cakes tastefully arranged in the center. Then I put in on the biggest table reserved for VID's (Very Important Demonkind), and went behind the huge old bar to make the tea. I'd just started heating up the old samovar using my fire plume when I heard screaming and squeals from down the tunnels, coming closer. Aha, I thought, the Mistress's guest has arrived. So I turned up my fire plume to heat the tea faster, over did it, and a short time later the samovar took off like a rocket and started ricocheting around the room leaving a smoke trail. The thing about Green Sulfur tea is the main ingredients make a pretty good rocket fuel. I started to take off after it, but suddenly I heard a strange high pitched whirling and swishing sound, and felt a puff of air blow past me and into the breakroom, then the sounds of something eating really sloppily. I know that kind of sound, I make them myself as I have NO table manners, most Dragons don't, we ARE animals you know. I came to a sliding halt, turned around, and ran back into the breakroom, and saw the strangest looking creature I'd ever seen pigging out on the cookies and urinal cakes, it was shoveling them into a huge fang filled mouth and slobbering happily.

"HEY! I roared loudly, stop that! Those aren't yours!" It froze and looked at me, then spit out a big glob of partially chewed cookies back onto the plate. Eeeeeewww, I thought. Then it said,

"Nya, nya, nya, snaaaarrrgle, pfffttt!"

How rude, I thought. Surely this isn't the Mistress's guest?? I mean, it looked like a rat or something on steroids. It was about three feet tall, had a large head with a huge mouth and big eyes, was covered in dark colored tacky looking fur, had two small horns, and fairly short legs and long arms. Then it started eating the cookies again, and ignored me when I yelled at it again. When it ate the platter I'd had enough!

"Stop that!" I roared; ducking the samovar when it came in for a pass, and tried to grab the little beast, but it was really fast, damn thing moved in a blur. It ran up my arm and started chewing on one of my horns.

"Mmmm, gnaw, gnaw, gargleppfttt, snarf!"

"Ahhhhh, I yelled, GET OFF OF ME!" I managed to grab it, but let it go with a loud roar when it bit my fingers, then proceed to fly around my arm making a sound like a buzzsaw and the little luggies fangs were sharp!! With a loud 'wham' the samovar hit the back of my head and flew out of the room.

"Mmmm, nom, nom, CHOMP!"

"OWWOOOOOOO! Mistress, heeelllppp, it's got me! OW, OW, OW, STOP THAT YOU LITTLE TROGLODYTE!", I roared, spinning in circles trying to throw it off, and I knocked over the table dumping the tea set on the floor with a loud crash.

Vulva looked up from combing out her fur in front of the closets full body mirror as she heard the racket. She'd need Pet's help to get her back, and thinking of the dragon what WAS all that roaring about anyway? Oh, he had better NOT have attacked her guest! With an angry hiss she put the comb down and headed for her office. But as she neared it she realized the sounds of conflict; or really more like a lot of squealing, were coming from the break room. She sped up as she heard the sound of something large falling over and something breaking. He had better NOT be wrecking the joint again!

I managed to get a hold of it again, but when it bit my finger I threw it at the plant who caught it in his tentacles and promptly swallowed it with a satisfied burp. Well, that takes care of THAT little problem, I thought in satisfaction. But a few seconds later the plant spit it out with a loud 'bleeah' and made grossed out noises while it wiped it feeding tentacles. Crap. And the little hair ball attacked me again.

"RAAARRR, NYA, NYA, NYA!" It slobbered as it bit my tail.

"OWWWWWWW!" I bellowed, but finally I grabbed the thing in my mouth and snapped my jaws shut. There, that should take care of it! I wouldn't eat it, it would probably make me sick, so I figured I'd just chew on it for awhile until it calmed down. But man, it was a tough little critter, like beef jerky. And it wouldn't stay still! I could feel it bouncing around inside my mouth making muffled gnarling sounds. And then the little shit bit my tongue!

"OWWWWAAAAIIIEEEEE!" I shrieked, and spit it out, and it flew across the room and hit My Mistress in the face just as she entered the breakroom. Oh double crap, I thought, as she flipped over backward with a screech of surprise, why me?

"PET, WHAT THE FU....AAAHHHHH!" Vulva hissed as she walked through the doorway of the breakroom; ducked as the samovar flew past and disappeared down the tunnel, and stood up only to have something hairy, and evidently extremely pissed off, land on her face. She went over backwards and the thing let out a loud gibbering yell and ran off into her office.

"Nya, nya, nya, gabbbllleee, glick, patootie, snarf! Phhbbtttt!"

"PET, WHAT IN THE HELL WAS THAT, AND WHY DID YOU THROW IT AT ME!" Vulva screeched in rage.

"I didn't mean to, I thought it was your guest, Mistress! I replied, but it ate all the cookies and then it bit me!"

"That is NOT my guest Pet, Vulva snarled, GET IT!"

"Yes Mistress, I roared, ignited my fire flux. I'll toast the little rodent!"

I ran into the office just in time to see the little brute grab a terrified Imp, and opening its mouth impossibly wide, swallow it whole! I did a double take; that was impossible; the Imp was bigger than it was!

"MISTRESS, I howled, IT JUST ATE AN IMP!"

"WHAT!?!!? THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! Vulva roared back, WELL, KILL IT!"

The thing started spinning faster and faster until it was a blur, and then vanished in a cloud of dust. Damn it was fast!

"WELL IT DID, I SAW IT! And then it ran off somewhere!" I hissed back.

Vulva staggered into the office, snarling. "You get it yet Pet?"

"No Mistress, I said, it's hiding somewhere, better watch out, it really moves fast."

"It must be under the desk Pet, Vulva said, take a look!"

Gee thanks, I thought. So I rather reluctantly stuck my head under the desk, and sure enough, there it was. It gave a horrible slobbering growl and ran up my snout, neck, and onto my back.

"Ahhhhhh, Mistress! I squealed; it's on my back, GET IT OFF, GET IT OFF!!! OWOOOO!"

"HOLD STILL PET!" Vulva shouted, as Pet frantically spun around in circles. She made a grab at the thing, it was chewing on his spines, and it jumped on top of her head!

"AHHHH PET, GET IT OFF, GET IT OFF!" Vulva squealed, as the thing spun around on her head tearing out tufts of fur.

"Ngggaaa, nya, nya, nya, raarrggle, pfffttt, nom, nom, narl, NYA!"

"Quick Mistress!" I yelled; holding open the Office & Cleaning Supplies Closet door, throw it in here!" I sure as HELL didn't want to go anywhere near it again!

Vulva finally got a grip on the thing, and threw it towards Pet, the thing yowling, and Pet smacked it with his tail and it flew into the closet, and he slammed the door. There was a loud screech of rage, and the door suddenly shuddered, so she joined him in leaning against it.

"Pet, Vulva said, panting, what the Hell IS that?"

"The HELL if I know, Mistress, I replied, but it does look kind of familiar."

"Pet, you better not have anything to do with this!" Vulva hissed.

"Mistress, I hissed back, I don't know ANYthing about it, it just showed up on its own, and started wrecking the joint, I swear!"

The blows to the door stopped, and I heard loud chittering and squealing noises, and more buzzsaw sounds and screeches from the thing. A-ha, I thought, the dead things will take care of it! Every time Mistress locked me the Office & Cleaning Supplies Closet of Death I was always attacked, even though she didn't believe me, and it sounded like they were after the rat thing this time. Eat'im up, I thought smugly.

"Mistress, I asked, what IS it?"

"I have NO idea Pet, Vulva replied, I've never seen a demonkind like that, I'm not even sure it IS a demonkind. It didn't smell right, in fact it didn't have ANY scent."

"Well, it's a nasty little thing, whatever it is Mistress, I said, can you blast it with a spell?"

"Didn't have time to, Vulva said, but that's a good idea Pet. It sounds quiet now, let's open the door and you fry it with your fire plume, and I'll nuke it with a power blast. That ought to take care of it!"

I gave an evil smile, there wouldn't be enough left of it to put in a matchbox, we'd turn it into a smear on the floor!

I yanked the door open and the thing was sitting in the corner with a happy well fed look on its face, but when it saw us it said, "Uh-oh!"

I darted my head forward and it disappeared in an inferno of the fires of Hell as my fire plume vaporizes steel, and Mistress gestured and there was a huge blast. And a smoking ball of fur came screeching out of the closet and started bouncing around the room. It finally landed on the desk, shook a coating of soot off of itself, and it hadn't even been touched!

"NYYAAAA, ARGH, GARGLE, SNARGLE, PFFFTTTT!!" it howled, obviously in a really bad mood.

"MISTRESS, WHAT IS THAT THING!!" I howled as we backed into a corner holding onto one another.

"I don't KNOW Pet, Vulva said, we need to make a run for it!"

"The Closet! I said, we'll be safe in there!!"

We made it just in time, and as the door shut the thing slammed into the other side.

"NYAAAA, PFFFFTTTT!"

The closet was totally wrecked, worse then I'd ever done. The whole back wall and corner was a glowing mass of molten rock, and most of the contents were on fire so we had plenty of light. The smoke didn't bother us at all. I don't breath, and well, Mistress was a demoness and there's lots of smoke in Hell. One thing I noticed though, hardly any demons smoked. Mistress was digging around, and then suddenly gave a shriek of pure rage that caused me to cringe.

"IT ATE MY SHRUNKEN HEADS COLLECTION!!" Vulva shrieked in utter rage, it had taken her 2000+ years to put it together! With a howl of rage she tore the door off its hinges and stormed out.

Oh NO, I thought, and followed. Well, if I had to I would die at the side of My Mistress, and issued forth with my spines raised, by barb razor sharp, and flaming drool dripping from my bared fangs. "NOBODY AND NOTHING MESSES WITH MY MISTRESS!!" I bellowed, and with a loud battle roar I got ready for a battle to the death.

Turns out it wasn't necessary. I heard Vulva screech in rage, a loud "NYYAAAA, YIPE! ERK!", a strangled sounding gurgle, and then the sound of dull steady blows. Mistress had the thing by the hind legs and was beating it against the desk.

"SPIT THEM OUT, NOW!!" Vulva screeched; the thing whimpering. THUD, THUD, SMACK! "NOW!!!!!"

I just watched with my mouth open, boy I'm glad it wasn't me she was mad at this time, was all I could think of.

Then a deep rumbling voice said, "Ah, I see you've met my pet."

I turned my head, with my mouth still open and tongue hanging out of it, towards the voice, and Mistress Vulva froze, the creature held high over her head in preparation for another blow against the desk. It squealed and struggled, but she held on.

"Kindly let my pet go, the voice said, I apologize for any mischief it may have been responsible for."

Vulva dropped the thing, and it scooted over to the speaker and hid behind his legs, sticking its tongue out at us.

"Prince Orobas! Vulva said, dropping into a deep bow. Welcome great one!"

PRINCE?? I thought, and dropped flat on my face, biting my tongue in the process, OW!, and with a squeal I folded my wings over my head. Playing dead is a good survival tactic to use when the big guys show up. By Dis, this demon outranked Great Lord Ba'al, he was one of the Princes of Hell! And we'd just beaten the tar out of his pet, or it had beaten the tar out of us, I wasn't too clear on that. Maybe it was a tie.

Frankly he wasn't that impressive looking by demonic standards. He looked like a kind of horse Satyr. He had the head and hindquarters of a horse, but the torso of a man. His fingers had long nasty claws though and his eyes flickered with the Fires of Hell like my own, and instead of a horse's square teeth he had fangs. His fur was dark grey and mixed black. But there was no doubt he was a powerful demon, he radiated power. He was also definitely male as he was sexed like a horse as well, as in very well hung.

"Rise Mistress Vulva, Prince Orobas said graciously, you do not have to bow before me in your own domain. Your slave may rise too, if you desire it."

No thanks, I thought. So I just stayed flat on my snout, if I was lucky he'd think I was dead. And why does he have our samovar?

"Ah, is this yours? Prince Orobas asked, holding up the samovar that had a new dent in it. I found it out in the tunnel next to an unconscious Imp; I think he might have a concussion."

Vulva took the samovar with a pained smile, and said respectfully "My thanks great one, Um, no offense intended, but what IS that thing?"

"You mean my little pet? Orobas said as he rubbed the things head. He is The Tasmanian Devil, or a reasonable facsimile thereof."

WHAT? I thought, sneaking a peak, I KNEW I'd seen the little runt somewhere!

"A Tasmanian Devil? Vulva said, but what is one doing in Hell? I know what they are great one, but he certainly doesn't look like a normal one."

"No, you misunderstand, Orobas replied, he is THE Tasmanian Devil; his name is Taz."

I couldn't help myself, "But, but Prince Orobas, I hissed in confusion, that Tasmanian Devil is a cartoon character!"

"Indeed, Orobas said, he is what we call a figment of imagination."

I shook my head, Humana-humana, WHAT? For a 'figment' he sure had sharp fangs!

"But Prince Orobas, Vulva said, if it's a figment, then how can it be real, it certainly exists! It ate my shrunken heads collection!"

"And an Imp and a silver platter, I added, Prince Orobas."

"Did he now? Orobas said, well, you've been a bad little figment, haven't you Taz?"

The hairy little mutant nodded his head, and said, "Uh-huh."

"Well then, Orobas said, out with them!"

With a loud 'glorp!' sound Taz hocked up several shrunken heads; who headed for the Office Supplies closet chattering angrily, TWO Imps; who took off down the tunnel screaming, and a well chewed silver platter. "Sorry", Taz said.

"Um, Prince Orobas, Vulva asked, where did you GET it?"

"In one of my many experiments in contacting other realms I stumbled onto a rather strange one in which figments come to life. I think it's based on how many humans; or others, believe in them. I did not stay long as it was, well, rather disturbing. When I came back Taz here followed me somehow. I can't get rid of him."

"Yeah, yeah, uh-huh!" The thing gibbered.

"But anyway, Orobas said, he's harmless."

Coulda fooled me, I thought, but kept my snout shut.

"Whatever he swallows is not harmed, and is released later. He does not actually exist as we understand existence, so does not need to eat or drink. He's quite amazing, isn't he?"

Amazing wasn't the word I was thinking of, I thought, eyeing the little brute distrustfully.

"Prince Orobas, Vulva said, we hit him with powerful spells and the full power of my Pet's fire plume, and it did nothing!"

"Yes, Orobas replied, since he doesn't 'exist' he can't be destroyed."

'Mistress, I said via our telepathic link, my brain hurts.'

'I know Pet, it IS quite a lot to accept, but we've seen it. And remember, we have a demoness possessing a computer too.'

'Please don't remind me, Mistress' I replied, my brain hurting even more. I like things nice and simple, complicated impossible stuff gives me one HELL of a headache. My poor little dragon mind isn't very good at grasping that kind of stuff and understanding it, I have a hard enough time believing in myself.

"Well, now that we've straightened that out, Orobas said, I am here to hire your Seeker for a very important...retrieval."

Straightened what out? I thought, you lost me at 'figment'.

"Well, Vulva replied, we are kind of busy, but I guess he could be spared for a quick mission for you My Prince. What did you have in mind?"

"Ah, there's the rub, Orobas said. Instead of a soul I need him to retrieve a book, a very dangerous book. Do you remember the battle with Chaos in which two Seekers were destroyed?"

Uh, yeah, I thought, I was there dude!

"My Pet was in the thick of it Prince Orobas, Vulva said, he was there when his fellows were destroyed, and Great Lord Ba'al destroyed the Chaosists and sealed the pentagram."

"Indeed, I was not aware, Orobas replied, but that will make him perfect for this mission. I have become aware of the existence of another book for summoning the Old Ones. We can NOT allow it to be used, that last time was too close. The Old Ones grow in power; and if they are unleashed even Hell and Heaven combined may not be able to stop them. Since he is a Seeker he may leave Hell without being summoned, and then call for assistance if needed. He will be our 'scout', so to speak. But he may be able to do this on his own, I do not think the one who has the book is aware of its power, but she is quite formidable."

"HOW formidable, Prince Orobas?" Vulva asked, I will NOT risk my Pet on a mission with little chance of success.

I looked at My Mistress with utter adoration; she's the only one who's ever cared about me.

"It is in the possession of one who is technically in my service, but I dare not ask her directly for it as she is...deliciously devious. Like myself, she is a seeker after knowledge, and it would not take her long to deduce the power of this book if she realized its importance, and she would know it must be of value if I expressed interest. She is an extremely powerful witch, but I think a quick in-and-out grab would work. She would not be expecting a Seeker as her contract is not due for many more centuries, and her guardians would not be able to stand before him if they were to contest his passage."

"Who is it, Prince Orobas?" Vulva asked with a hiss.

"Madam Morticia Valdez." Orobas said.

"WHAT! Vulva hissed, she's the one of the most powerful of all human Sorceress's, she gets invited to parties in Hell! I'VE invited her to parties! Even the Lords and Ladies don't mess with her!"

"So, you are refusing my request?" Orobas said.

"Oh, not at all, Vulva hurriedly replied, it's just that, well, this IS an unusual mission. And I'd have to get permission from Great Lord Ba'al."

"He already knows, and approves. Orobas said, in fact he recommended your Seeker. He felt he had the best chance of success."

"Mistress? I said, I can do it."

"Pet, Vulva said, you have NO idea of who you'd be up against!"

"Mistress, I said, I am a demon, and a Seeker. Getting a book can't be any harder than some of the souls I've been sent after. I can do it. But I have a request, Prince Orobas?"

"Yes Seeker?" Orobas asked.

"Let me take HIM with me, Prince Orobas." I said, pointing at Taz.

"Whatever for?" Orobas asked in surprise.

"For a diversion, I said, I have a feeling he might come in handy, Prince Orobas."

"Well, very well, I guess I can see no harm in it, Orobas said, but he is somewhat unpredictable."

And so is Pet, Vulva thought, they'd probably make a good team. "Very well Pet, Vulva said, if you think you can handle this I'll let you go. But you be careful! Madam Valdez has a reputation for being quite, um, evil."

"Not as evil as you are Mistress." I replied.

"Why Pet, what a nice thing to say." Vulva hissed.

"Hopefully you will not have to face Madam Valdez at all, Orobas said, our information says she is currently not at home. So it should be a simple smash and grab. We thought a Seeker might be a bit of overkill, but due to the nature of the book want to take no chances. He will need to leave fairly soon, it is almost dark where the book is located in the mortal realm. These are the coordinates. Should you run into...difficulties, we may or may not be able to come to your assistance as her domicile will be warded and shielded."

"Well, THAT was interesting Mistress." I said after Prince Orobas had left. "Who is he anyway? He doesn't really strike me as being, well, all the demonicky."

"That's not a word Pet." Vulva said. "He's a strange one; everyone is scared to death of him though."

"Why Mistress? I asked, I mean, he runs around with cartoon characters!"

"Because he can't tell a lie, he tells the truth all the time, about the past, present, things to come, divinity, and creation. It's why he was cast out of Heaven, for sharing that truth with anyone who asked. It's his own special form of damnation. He quests for knowledge, but can never know everything."

"So he was cast out of Heaven for telling the TRUTH?" I said in an incredulous voice.

"Yes, Pet." Vulva said.

"Mistress, my brain hurts." I hissed.

"I know Pet, Vulva replied, mine does too sometimes."

We put the figment back in the Closet of Death until it was time for me to leave, with strict instructions NOT to eat anything. It didn't like it, but obeyed. At least none of shrunken heads were missing later, and we counted the Imps before we left.

"Now you be very careful Pet, Vulva said, if anything weird starts to happen, you get out of there fast."

"Mistress, I'm a demon going to steal a book about Chaos for a Prince of Hell from a witch with a cartoon character as my sidekick, how will I know when things get weird?"

"Good point Pet, Vulva hissed in amusement, but you know what I mean. Now, you promise me you'll be careful?" She said, while she scratched the base of one horn that she knew was his favorite itchy spot.

"Oh yeah, Mistress, right there! That's it, hiiissssss!" I moaned, kicking a hind leg. She knows all the good spots! "I promise I'll be careful Mistress. If anything bad turns up I'll sic Taz on it and run like, well, Hell."

"Good plan Pet, Vulva said, now it's time to go. Let's get the little mutant and get this over with."

"OK, I told Taz, now you be a good little figment, OK? If you are I'll get you a nice rabbit for dinner."

"Mmmm, OK, yeah, yeah, yeah, smack, drool, slobber!" Taz said.

"And quite spitting on me!" I hissed.

"Me sorry." Taz said.

I had to carry the little garbage disposal when we passed through the pentagram, but he behaved himself. We emerged in a rather heavily overgrown area, lots of underbrush and small trees. Taz seemed fascinated by everything; and it occurred to me the little critter had only seen Hell and some weird cartoon world of some kind. This must seem like an alien planet to him. He seemed kind of intimidated too, and stuck pretty close to me so I didn't have to keep an eye on him much, and he didn't talk much, just drooled a lot. At least my body heat didn't seem to bother him.

I had to take to the air briefly to see the beacon, and fortunately it wasn't that far away. It wasn't as close to the 'mark' as usual as it would have tripped some wards and let them know something was coming, but I could see the huge old mansion that Prince Orobas had described about a mile away. Why almost all the souls I'm sent to collect have huge old mansions is something I'd always wondered about. And they always have defenses as well. The ones based on Hell magic or conventional things have no effect on me; any other creature of Hell has to let me pass, and the magic is useless against a demonic being, the exception being power lances or wands, but fortunately they are closely guarded and not many get out of Hell, though there is some weapons smuggling. Conventional weapons just bounce off or annoy me, and nature magic is largely ineffective as my own natural weapons are more effective. Plus breathing fire gives you an edge against plants & bugs and stuff. But there are powers that can hurt; or even destroy, demonkind. The Light of Heaven and other Heavenly weapons, and Chaos magic, are the most deadly. So just because I'm pretty tough I always approach a new situation very carefully as I value my scaly little butt quite highly. I have about a 99% success rate, which I'm pretty proud of as it makes My Mistress look good if her slaves do well. I don't do it for me, I do it for her. And if I run into anything really nasty I can always scream for help, and the heavy artillery will show up. First My Mistress will come to my aid, and if she can't handle it, then Great Lord Ba'al will show up, and if HE can't handle it then we're pretty much screwed. But most of the time I pull it off on my own though. A damned soul's best defense is to hide from us, which can be done in a variety of ways. Some avoid 'collection' for hundreds of years, but once a Seeker gets their scent they're toast, literally. We never, ever, give up. We're the Mounties of Hell, we always get our soul.

I let Taz hitch a ride on my back as we got near our destination; he was so short he had trouble with all the underbrush. He was behaving himself, for which I was quite grateful. If he ran off I sure as Hell wasn't going after him. We came to the usual high wall with broken glass or barbed wire on the top; glass on this one, and I reared up and stuck my head over it for a quick look. All I saw was more trees and brush, but no sign of cameras or other electronic monitoring devices or alarms. I can literally 'see' and smell electricity, and didn't see any sign of anything not natural, no glowing magical wards or passive detection magic. So I hopped over the wall and hid in the bushes for a minute, but there were no alarms or other signs I'd been noticed. So far, so good. I think Taz was having fun riding on my back because he giggled and said "Giddyup!" until I told him to stifle it.

The place was really overgrown, I thought, they need get a new lawn service. But the last hundred yards or so was mowed almost down to the roots, and there was NO cover. With a hiss of annoyance I circled the huge old place until we came to a maze around the back, you know, the kind with the thick hedges and only one way in and one way out. It was a big one too, and every so often there was a kind of alcove with a statue in it. I ignored the first few until I noticed something that really creeped me out, the statues were alive!! We were passing one when I thought I heard something, so I stopped and took a closer look. I could hear a kind of muffled moaning, and was sniffing around the base of statue and getting confused as I could hear something, but didn't see anything. Then I took a closer look at the statue, and it had human eyes!! They were looking at me in despair, pleading.

"Mmmm, Mmmmpfff!" The statue said.

I took a closer look at it and it was perfectly detailed, and had the rotted remains of clothing on it. Most of the upper clothes had rotted off exposing a very nice pair of creamy marble breasts, but a rotted skirt and leather shoes still clung to it.

The eyes looked at me desperately, "Mmmmppffff, hep, pllzzmmmppffff!"

"Sorry, I said, I can't do anything." Then I had to leave, I couldn't stand the look in those pleading eyes. What must it be like to be like that, I wondered? I guess it was a kind of horrible immortality. Even Taz seemed to be a little freaked by it.

As we moved on I took a closer look at the other statues, and yep, they'd all been people once. For some of them whatever had changed them was total, even their eyes were stone now, but I could sense the souls trapped in them. Most of them had human eyes staring out of their frozen faces though. There was an even assortment of men and women, some still had most of their clothes, but most were naked as they had rotted off, and for some reason all the men had erections.

I've seen humans that have been turned into statues before; they're a fairly popular decoration in Hell. There's a spell to make them moveable, so you can change their poses. Mistress Vulva doesn't like them though, for which I'm glad as they creep me out. Lydia doesn't like them either, and told me Master Vulkreb's had some he kept around just because his mom gave them to him.

I got lost, of course, the maze was huge and well laid out. I could have flown out, but was still trying to remain 'incognito' for now. I found that by lifting up Taz on the tip of my tail he could see over the hedges, and tell me which way to go, seems he was coming in useful after all. Eventually we reached the center of the maze and there was a large clearing with a nice replica of the Parthenon in the center. As we started across to reach the only other opening into the maze I heard a sibilant rasping sound, and something moved in the dark shadows under the temple columns.

"Well, it seemsss I have a visssitor, how nice!" Came a hissing voice. "It hasss been a long time, looksss like I get to add another ssstatue to my collection."

I stopped and raised my spines; making Taz yelp as they pricked his rear, and ignited my fire flux. It looked like they had security after all.

"Stand aside, I said, I have no quarrel with you, it is Morticia Valdez I seek."

I watched as a large sinuous shape slithered down the steps of the temple, and as I already knew it was a Medusa. Nasty, but their magic has no effect on me. I tucked Taz under a wing though as I wasn't sure about him. I guess if he got petrified though I could always give him to My Mistress mother to use as a really ugly garden gnome, but I was getting kind of fond of the little schmuck. Medusa's are kind of strange; they can be both demonic and/or 'natural', depending on how they're created. Don't know exactly how that works, but some of the other mythological creatures based on Greek and other early civilizations myths and legends are like that. Some are demonic, some not.

The Medusa recognized me for what I was too, and said,

"Well, drat! I was hoping to add a new toy to my collection! What the Hell is a demon doing here?"

"I could ask the same, I said, and like I said, I'm here about Morticia Valdez." I didn't tell the Medusa what I was really here for.

"Well, good, Medusa said, it's about time someone reaped her soul. I've been stuck in this stupid fake temple and folly of hers for over a hundred years! She sends me a victim every now and then, but it's been years! She certainly doesn't care for her pets very well. With her gone I'll be able to leave this place."

The Medusa was one of the more 'pure' forms in that while she had a human looking torso and arms the rest was pure serpent, even her breasts had scales on them. Her head was that of a serpent with the usual 'hair' of writhing serpents. From the waist down she was pure snake, this meant she was one of the more powerful demonic ones.. In the more 'classical' kind of Medusa her head would have been more human. I thought she was quite lovely, the moonlight and shadows playing over her coils was very erotic as she moved.

As she slithered closer I realized she was also quite large, she must be a really old one, I thought. I was surprised a human Sorceress; even a powerful one, could bind a Medusa to her service.

"I'm afraid you've wasted your time though, the Medusa hissed, she's not here right now. I think she's in New Orleans for Mardi Gras."

"Well, thanks, I said, but I think I'll take a look around anyway."

"Very well, suit yourself, the Medusa hissed, but what's your rush? Why don't you stay and...visit for awhile? My, you're nice and big, aren't you?" She added, as she rubbed her tail against mine.

Oh man, I thought, if I have any weaknesses its females, and she WAS a beautiful creature. I gave a soft hiss of my own and rubbed her back, coiling my tail around hers, and she smiled, her long forked tongue flicking over her hard reptilian lips. She moved a little closer and ran that tongue over my snout, and I caught it with my own forked tongue, twining around hers, hissing softly.

Normally I can't mate with lesser demonkind, especially if they aren't fire demonkind. My cum is; literally, molten, and my body temperature is quite hot even when I 'dampen' it, so even non-fire demonkind would be injured. But this Medusa was very old and powerful and I knew she could 'handle' me. Besides, it would have been extremely rude to turn down her invitation. I'd never done it with a Medusa either, and was curious. And that snake hair, what a turn on!

"Wait just a second", I said, breaking our 'hug'. I took Taz back to the maze, and told him to 'wait here!' He just nodded his head and looked kind of confused.

"What was that all about?" The Medusa hissed.

"Nothing important" I replied as I pulled her into another 'hug', and we ground our jaws together, our tongues exploring one another's mouths and throat. And her snake hair darted forward and dozens of little tongues and lips licked and nipped at my head, and it was fantastic! I ran my hands over her hard scaly breasts and she hissed, her large rubbery nipples growing hard.

"Oh yesssss, she hissed, it has been sssooo long since I have coupled with another demonkind! You have NO idea! But not here, let usss go inside!"

I watched her graceful lithe form as it slithered up the steps with me following closely behind. What a view! She moved with an erotic; at least to me, sensuous slithering motion that to a human would be like watching a perfect ass walking by, plus she was nude which made it even better. Just because most demonkind go around in the nude doesn't mean it's still not a turn-on, you never get used to a good looking nude female. In fact, in Hell we sometimes put clothes ON to be even more sexy. You should see My Mistress in a leather harness, oh mama!

I looked around curiously as we entered the inner sanctuary of the temple. It was a pretty big place, but was low on 'comforts'. When your body is covered in hard scales you're not much on pillows or stuff like that. We passed two statues, a man and woman; they were frozen in the act of having sex, the man fucking the woman from behind, and both pairs of eyes looked at us as we passed. There were other statues, some single, some in pairs in other sexual positions, one Ménage-a-trois, and some with animals. It was rather...decadent, to say the least.

"What do you think of my collection?" the Medusa hissed.

"Umm, very...interesting." I replied, if somewhat disturbing, I thought.

"They can all feel you know, Medusa said, they really are fucking one another, they can't stop. If you jack-off one of the male statues they feel it, but can't cum. They remain right on the edge of orgasm all the time. I love to pleasure them while I watch the look in their eyes, such sexual torment!"

Yikes, I thought, what a way to spend eternity! But I kept my mouth shut, each demonkind has their own way of tormenting damned souls, so who was I too judge? I mean, I rip people's souls out of their bodies. Honestly though, it beat a lot of the other torments I've seen. At least the paired ones had company.

She slithered over to what I thought was another statue at first, but instead the man was only partly a statue. He was marble up to his thighs, but still living flesh from the crotch up. She wrapped her tail around him and started fondling his cock and balls, and he quickly got an erection.

"Thissss is Martin, she hissed, he'sss the latessst addition to my collection. I've been usssing him to pleassssure myself for ssseveral yearsss now, but I grow tired of him. Look into my eyesss Martin dear."

"No, no, please!" the man begged, "haven't I pleasured you, given you what you wanted! Please don't!"

"Yessss Martin, the Medusa said as she took his head between her hands, forcing him to stare into her eyes, you have been a good fuck toy, but I no longer have any need for you. It is time to join my collection, but do not worry, I have a goat I need a partner for, she will keep your cock nice and warm."

As she spoke she kept stroking his erection gently, and slowly his skin begin to turn a creamy marble color, his skin hardening as he pleaded and begged, his sounds slowly becoming muffled squeals of terror. Then right at the last second before he became entirely stone he orasmed, thick strands of cum pumping from his throbbing cock as his balls emptied themselves as they turned to solid marble, and his cock stopped pumping and throbbing as it became sold marble as well, a last dribble of cum running down the side.

"There, all done, Medusa hissed, I think he turned out rather nicely! I always let them cum one last time", she said as she licked the man's cum off of her tail. "It's my reward for their having pleasured me so well. Is that not nice of me, to let them feel relief one last time?"

"Oh yes, very nice." I said. What a bitch, I thought, but a beautiful sexy one.

We kissed again in our way, and it got serious after that. I quickly found out something that I didn't know about Medusa's, they're double sexed, at least this one was. She had a human like vagina at the junction of her 'human' and snake body, and a normal reptilian cloaca further down on her tail. Now wasn't THAT interesting? I flattened my spines and folded my wings tightly so she could 'hug' me with her coils; good thing I don't breath, and let her curl those sleek sexy ropes of scaly flesh around my body, rubbing and caressing me while I ran my clawed hands over her breasts and torso, both of us licking the others snout and licking with our tongues. I shuddered in pleasure as I licked her snake hair, dozens of little tongues licking my tongue back, while her main tongue explored my mouth. I could smell it as her sexes 'bloomed' and opened for me, like most reptiles she had to be in the 'mood' to open her sex for a male. And she was definitely in the mood, her reptilian musk strong and heady as I rubbed my snout against her perfect body, scenting her with my tongue and nose, her pheromones driving me wild with lust. This would be a purely bestial mating; we were both too far gone in our need to be very gentle.

She gave a hiss of delight at the sight of my erection when I reared up, and an even louder hiss as my nether tongue slithered out of the head of my penis, and darted her head down to lick and caress my penile tongue with her own tongue, and I gave a roar of sheer pleasure as she swallowed my aching cock. She curled her tail around giving me access to her cloaca, and soon my own tongue was busy deep in the depths of her slick needy sex, her vaginal muscles sucking eagerly at my tongue as I 'ate' her. Not forgetting her other pussy I ran my tail up between us, my bard soft and velvety smooth, and rubbed it against her 'human' pussy and the large knob of her clitoris, and she gave a loud squealing hiss around the cock in her mouth, her whole body quivering with pent-up lust.

Finally I couldn't hold back, and roared as I came in her mouth, and her juices filled my own mouth and I felt them flow over my tail as I kept tail fucking her. She gave a deep guttural hiss of ecstasy as he eagerly sucked my cock, swallowing every last drop of cum. Then; now that the preliminaries were over, we got down to some serious fucking, the oral fun had been mainly to lube us up and get to 'know' each other better.

She lay on her back and I mounted her 'human' vagina first, straddling the thick tube of her body as I fucked her, and used my tail to fuck her cloaca. She writhed and squirmed under me holding me close with her powerful arms, our jaws locked together in mutual pleasure as we hissed and roared in ecstasy. I took her hard and fast the first time, our need and lust too intense to do it any other way. The feel of her soft slick sexes enveloping my cock and the very sensitive tip of my tail, and the hard rasp of her scales and bands against mine was fantastic. As we neared orgasm we bit harder, clawing at one another from the almost painful pleasure; and it was pure demonic bliss when we climaxed. It was an unnatural coupling between two unnatural creatures, and it was a pure agonizing ecstasy as only things like us could feel. It would have killed lesser beings.

I pulled out of her and we circled one another for a couple of minutes, snarling and hissing, looking more like we were engaged in combat, and in a way we were. Demonic sex can go from one end of the extremes to the other, incredibly brutal, or very tender. This was brutal, she had been starved for sex with another demonkind for a long time, and it would take a lot to satisfy her, which I was looking forward too. With a triumphant roar I pinned her and mounted her from behind, rolling her lower body over to penetrate her cloaca, and biting the back of her neck to pin her, snarling and hissing loudly as she thrashed and struggled, trying to get at me. She wrapped her tail around mine and squeezed hard, but that just made it even better. I took her hard again, no mercy given, none wanted, and made her scream in pleasure as she came. The next several couplings were like that, fast and brutal animal matings, glorious ecstasy. Then, as we reached our limits, it slowly became more 'civilized', almost gentle.

The last time she lay on her back and I mounted her cloaca, and used my tongue on her 'human' vagina, while she lay back and hissed softly as I thrust, her hands holding onto the horns of my bobbing head as I 'ate' her juicy well serviced sex. I fucked her long and slow, running it out as long as I could, and towards the end she was giving soft little squealing hisses, her hands tugging desperately at my head as I finally came, and she had twin orgasms. Afterwards she coiled up and I lay on top of her coils like a chair, and we licked and 'kissed' for awhile, our tails entwined.

"That, I hissed, was incredible. You're one sexy lady."

"Mmmm, yessss, she hissed, I can't remember the lassst time I was serviced sso well, or sso often. You dragons are quite the ssstuds. I had forgotten what it wass like to mate with one of my own kind. Thank you."

I licked her snout, and said, "It was MY pleasure." And it was too. Then I started working my tail higher up on her coils, and when she realized my intentions gave a long pleased hiss. Tail sex is something of a demonic specialty, and if you're good at it you can make yourself, and your mate, come. And I am, and I did, twice each.

When I left I promised to 'come and visit her again sometime', which, while hard, I planned on doing one way or another. A sex starved demoness is a rarity, and it's well worth the effort to find one, especially if she is so beautiful. I doubted the poor humans she preyed on were 'up' to the task of keeping her satisfied. Of course sneaking out of Hell wouldn't be easy, but I was a Seeker so it would be much easier for me then another demonkind. I was so engrossed in planning my next visit I almost forgot about Taz, but at the last second turned around and went back and fetched him. At first I thought the little sneak had run off, but he'd just dug a hole under the hedge. He ran up my back again, said 'Giddyup!', and we were on our way.

We finally reached the exit from the maze, after passing some more permanently horny statues, and I stuck my head out and took a look around. I was about to start across the lawn toward the house, but froze when I saw something move in the shadows by the impressive front door. It was a Werewolf, I saw her as she stood up and stretched, then settled back down. If she hadn't moved I might have missed them, but now that I knew where to look I could see several more lying around in the dark shadows out of reach of the light over the door. I slowly pulled my head back into the maze, and thought about what to do.

Werewolves are no threat to me, but the things will fight to the death in defense of their Master or Mistress. I had to admire that, but hated to have to kill them. Most were just people that had been enslaved and turned into beasts to guard their 'owner'. It sucked. I used to be human too, so could sympathize, but at least I had the best owner in Hell. Well, I brought him along for something. So I took Taz and; holding a finger to my snout, let him look and pointed out the Werewolf pack. Softly I asked,

"Taz make doggies go away?" He eagerly nodded his head, so I gave him a little push in their direction. Boy was he fast!

He ran right up to them before they even knew he was there, pulled his mouth open wide with his fingers, and sticking out his tongue went,

"Blah, bla-blah-blah-blah-bla! Nanny-nanny-nanner! Woogey, woogey! Booga-booga! PFFBBTTT!" Flipped them off, and then he disappeared around the corner of the building spinning faster than I could see. The startled Were's looked at each other, then howling and baying took off in pursuit. Say hello to my little friend! Way to go Taz!, I thought.

I took the opportunity to dash across the lawn; no mines this time, and climb up the wall to the roof. For a fairly large dragon I can be pretty quiet, and climb walls like any other lizard. The roof was one of those old copper sheathed ones, and held my weight just fine. On some I'd fall through. I fell through a roof once and landed in bed with an old man and old lady going at it, I still don't know who was more scared, the old lady chased me half a block with a broom.

'Pet? I suddenly heard in my mind link, what's taking so long? What are you doing?'

'I'm on the roof Mistress, I, um, got lost in a maze.'

'What were you doing in a maze???' Vulva asked.

'Getting lost, but you wouldn't believe me if I told you Mistress.' I replied. I sure wasn't going to tell her I was getting laid.

'Try me!' Vulva said.

'Tell you later Mistress, I'm pretty busy right now.'

'Well, if Valdez shows up, you get out of there!' Vulva said.

'Yes Mistress, I hear and obey.' I replied. And I do, most of the time.

I finally found what I wanted, a large skylight I was able to open fairly quietly. No alarms or anything. How trusting, I thought, either that or they're not worried about intruders, which made me extra careful. I dropped into a large bedroom, which I had been able to see was empty from the skylight. It was pretty kinky, with mirrors everywhere, a rack with whips and various kinds of other toys, chains and manacles, and the bed had cranks at each corner to spread eagle and/or suspend people. There were more living statues too, some in very, um, 'usable' poses. My kind of place, Mistress would love it. I opened the door and took a quick peak, then snuck carefully down the corridor. Prince Orobas had said the book was in a library on the 2nd floor, probably in a vault. I was on the third floor, so time to find some stairs. I didn't smell or sense anyone yet, and the few magical wards I'd seen I'd bypassed. It had been easy so far, which made me worry even more. I found a staircase, and very carefully sneaked down a flight, hoping my weight wouldn't make it squeak, but it was carpeted, so that helped. The whole place was really ritzy, everything was high quality and first class stuff, the décor Victorian, but tasteful Victorian, not whorehouse Victorian like the Mistress likes.

Now, which way? I thought. I decided to give some big double doors at the end of the hallway a try, and bingo! It was a library all right, a humongous one. It had bookcases covering all four walls, two stories tall with a balcony around the upper story. And there were LOTS of books, so know the question was, which one was it?? I had never seen so many books on the occult, witchcraft, demonology, and related subjects. There was a bunch on knitting too, which I couldn't figure out. I had some trouble getting to the second story as I couldn't fit up the spiral staircase, so finally hopped up and pulled myself over the railing kicking and scrabbling, grunting from the effort. Man, I was getting heavy, time to lay off the pyrite for awhile.

There were some glass covered cases with older looking books displayed inside, so I took a look after cutting holes in the glass; who needs a glass cutter when you have claws like mine. There was a Gutenberg Bible, what looked like an original copy of Necronomicon that was bound in living human skin, a first edition of 'Superman', and a bound set of the complete issues of 'Depraved' magazine from the Year 1534. Ooooh, I thought, I'm taking this one! I was kind of surprised Prince Orobas hadn't wanted me to snatch the Necronomicon too, but it turns out there are mistakes in it. Anyone who tries to use it to summon the Old Ones just gets killed in nasty ways, or turned into really gross things like giant slugs. The book I was looking for doesn't even have a name, and no one knew who; or what, wrote it, or when. It was a condensed version of the one Great Lord Ba'al had destroyed, and unless you knew exactly what it was it was it made no sense. And I couldn't find it, anywhere! I looked on all the shelves, in all the glassed in bookcases, I even looked at the regular bookshelves. Nothing, zip!

Finally I found a large safe skillfully concealed behind a felt painting of Elvis. Hey, to me that WAS skillfully concealed! I punched out the dial, and stuck my finger inside and felt around until I found the tumblers, and it popped open. Lots of money, bag of diamonds and other gemstones which I ate for a snack, album of rare stamps that caught on fire while I was handling it; well,they're not rare anymore, and only one book. A-HA! I thought, at last! But it turned out to be a very old handwritten copy of 'The Holy Bible, Volume II' by some guy named Judas.

Well, crap! I lay down on an oversized leather couch to think about it, the leather smoking. I hated to go home empty handed; I'd promised My Mistress I'd get that book! And if anything I can be pretty stubborn. I chewed on my tail while I thought about my next move; it's a bad habit of mine. That, and licking myself in public. Really pisses the Mistress off, but she wasn't here, so I indulged myself. I was so engrossed in my thoughts; and enjoying chewing my tail, that I didn't notice when a dark figure moved silently to the edge of the second story library balcony and looked down at me.

"Well, well, what have we here?" A woman's voice asked.

"YIPE!" I leaped about five feet up in the air, and came down ready to fight. What, where, who?

"I'm up here demon." The voice said.

"Who are you?" I hissed.

"Actually, I think the question is, who are YOU?" She replied, and pointed a wand at me.

Before I could do anything I felt a spell hit me, and all of a sudden I was in a cage, it looked like a big birdcage. The bars were thin and gold colored like brass.

"Oh, please!" I hissed disdainfully, and tried to pull them apart, but they wouldn't budge! I heated up my hands until they glowed incandescently, but the bars wouldn't melt! I gave an angry roar and ignited my fire flux.

"You can't get out, came the woman's voice, the cage is warded against demonkind and the bars are Hellgold. Did you really think it would be THAT easy to enter my house and steal from me?"

"I'm on an official mission!" I hissed.

"Let's have a closer look at you little dragon." The woman said, and all of a sudden the cage began to shrink, and I shrank with it!

"Yipe!!" This was NOT good!

As the cage shrank the woman came down a wrought iron spiral staircase, as seductively and slinky as any demoness. When she stepped out to where I could get a better look at her she was incredibly beautiful, at least by human standards. Perfect body, perfect build, but she had old, old eyes. She looked like a twenty five year old nympho, but I knew she was at least several centuries old. And you wonder why people make deals with demonkind. She was dressed like a groupie with dark purple spiked hair with red highlights, an old "KISS" t-shirt, cut off jeans, black net stockings, and high heeled black leather shoes with silver fittings. I thought she looked hot.

"Who are you?" I squeaked, I was only a few inches long now. I'd tried calling My Mistress, but to my surprise my mind was link was blocked, all I got was 'static'.

"I am Lady Morticia Valdez." She said imperiously.

I sniggered, "You're joking, right? You look more like Hannah Montana on crack!"

She picked up the cage and gave it a good shake.

"HEY! I hissed, knock it off!"

"How'd you like to be the size of a cockroach?" She said, and I believed her.

I looked through the bars at her huge face, and said, "Not really!"

"Then behave!" She boomed.

"Yes Ma'am." I sniveled, I can be good a groveling, I have lots of practice.

"Now, who are you, who sent you, and what were you after?" She asked.

"I only have to give my name, rank, and serial number! I said, and since I don't HAVE a name, rank, or serial number you're out of luck!"

"Little dragon, she said, just because you're a demon doesn't mean I can't do unpleasant things to you. I would think that would be obvious by now. Tell you what; instead of shrinking you down to the size of a cockroach I'll turn you INTO a cockroach. Maybe that will improve your attitude."

"You wouldn't DARE!" I hissed.

"Wrong answer!" She said, and raised her wand.

"Wait, wait, please!" I hissed, really scared now. I HATE bugs, but to BE one? The very thought terrified the HELL out of me.

"Then ANSWER the QUESTIONS!" She yelled, clearly out of patience.

"OK, already! Geez, mellow out lady." I said. She took the birdcage and hung it on a stand, then sat down in an easy chair. I felt like Tweety Pie, and she was Sylvester.

"Well?? I'm waiting. She said, and if I don't like your answers I'll turn you into a slug instead, a great big red one."

Ewwww, I thought. "Look lady, I was sent here to get a really dangerous book you shouldn't be playing with. The big guys in Hell want it destroyed."

"Indeed? She said, and what is the title of this book little dragon?"

"Don't rub it in! I hissed. It doesn't have a name or title; no one knows what it's called or who wrote it."

"Very well, who sent you?" She asked.

"Prince Orobas contracted with My Mistress for my services."

"Prince Orobas! She said in surprise, why he didn't just ask me for it, he's my Patron! And who is your Mistress, come to think of it; you're awful small for a Hell Drake; no pun intended, just what kind of demon are you, anyway?"

"I am Mistress Vulva's familiar, and I'm a Seeker. Prince Orobas said you'd probably decide to keep the book for yourself, and said he couldn't let that happen. So he sent me to get it. Now give it to me and let's get this over with. Believe me, you do NOT want to mess around with it."

"Not so fast, she said. Hmmm, the Prince may be right; he can see the future you know. But why is the book so dangerous?"

So I told her about The Chaosists, Cthulhu, the Old Ones, and all of that.

"Well, she said, I'd heard rumors, but wasn't sure if they were just legends, or real. If the book has no title can you at least describe it to me? I have lots of rare books, as you can see."

I gave her the description Prince Orobas had given me, and she pursed her lips and thought for awhile. Then she said,

"I know that book! It was part of an old collection I, um, bought. I looked at it but thought it was some first year magic users attempt at being funny. Nothing in it made any sense, just like you said it wouldn't. But now that I know what it is it DOES make sense! The problem is, I don't have it anymore."

"WHAT!!!" I screeched, then where the Hell IS it!?!"

I took it to the 523rd Annual Magic Users Book and Paper Show in New Orleans last week and sold it for $50.00."

I was running around in circles in the cage now, which I do when I'm upset. Oh, this was NOT good!

"Who did you sell it too?" I hissed.

"A couple of sisters named Beautre, real weirdoes." She replied.

"MIISSSTTRRREEESSSSSS!" I shrieked as loud as I could, and spun around in circles until I felt light headed and fell over.

"Are you OK little dragon?" She asked.

"NO, I wailed, look, you have to let me go! Those two are just crazy enough to try those summoning spells!! You have NO idea what they're like. If they do we're all screwed to the max!"

"Well, I don't know, she said, I kind of like the idea of having a little pet dragon. I'll take good care of you and call you Dinky."

"Look lady, I said, if you don't let me go Mistress Vulva, Great Lord Ba'al, Prince Orobas, and every Seeker in Hell will come looking for me."

"Hmm, good point, she said, oh, very well, but you tell Prince Orobas he owes me one!"

YOU tell him, I thought.

"First you must swear by your Lord that you will in no way harm me if I release you."

Yeah, OK, whatever! I thought. "I swear in the name of Mistress Vulva whose slave I am, and Great Lord Ba'al, whom we serve, that I will no way harm you, or your property, mentally or physically, if you release me." I said. Wasn't planning on it anyway, I'm not the vindictive kind.

"Very well, I accept your oath." Lady Valdez said, and with a gesture the cage disappeared and I returned to my normal size in a flash. Much better, I thought.

I didn't hang around to say goodbye, but as I was leaving, she said,

"Wait just a minute little dragon.'

"WHAT?" I hissed.

She made little 'give-me' motions, "The Bound Editions of Depraved please."

"Oh, right, sorry!" I hissed, and handed her the book. Rats.

Then I just ran out the door and down the hallways, past rather startled servants and creatures, out the front door, and down the main driveway. As I did Taz joined me, spinning along and keeping pace effortlessly.

'MISTRESS! I called in my mind, 'Get me the HELL out of here!'

'PET! Vulva said, I was about to come looking for you, we lost contact!'

'I know Mistress, long story, no time! I have to get back NOW!'

'Very well Pet, I just opened the pentagram!'

'I see the beacon, thanks Mistress!' I said.

As we made our way through the woods Taz climbed up on my back again, and boy had he gained weight. When he burped and whimpered like a dog I stopped.

"Come here Taz" I said. As he slid down my back and I turned to face him I could see his stomach wriggling and hear faint whimpers and howls. "OK, spit them out."

Taz kind of shuffled his feet a little, and said, "Don't wanna, yummy."

"Don't make be bury you in the cold, cold ground!" I threatened.

So reluctantly he hocked up the Werewolves one at a time. They took one look at him, one look at me, tucked their tails between their legs and ran yipping into the night.

"Is that all?" I asked.

"Uh-huh, burrrp!"

OK, that does it, I thought. I picked him up and shook him upside down, and two more Werewolves and a motorcycle fell out. Now where did he get that? I wondered. The Were's ran off, but then one came back and got the motorcycle. He gave a sheepish smile full of fangs, and said 'If I don't bring it home the missus will kill me.', and wheeled it off.

When we reached the pentagram I grabbed Taz, and hopped through. Hell! Home Sweet Home!

"Pet, what's going on!?" Vulva hissed as soon as he appeared in the pentagram.

I threw her Taz, who landed between her breasts with a happy squeal. She was so startled she just held onto him, he looked like a really ugly baby.

"The Beautre sisters have the book!" I hissed.

"WHAT!?!" Vulva screeched, how the HELL did THEY get it!!???"

"Valdez sold it to them for $50.00!" I replied.

"This is NOT good Pet!" Vulva hissed worriedly.

"TELL me about it! I hope they don't know what it is!" I said.

"We can only hope Pet, now we have to tell Prince Orobas, he will not be pleased."

YOU get to tell him, I thought, I'm hiding!

"Pet, it will take awhile for Prince Orobas to get here, Vulva said. I don't know about you but I need a bath, the children have been driving me crazy all day."

"Are they OK?" I asked worriedly.

"Oh yes, Pet, they're just teething. Makes them cranky and they keep biting the Nanny Imps nipples."

Well, that's not good, I thought. I'd wondered what all the squealing was earlier. "Aren't they getting a little old to suckle?" I asked.

"Who said they were suckling, they've been weaned for awhile, Vulva said, they just bit them."

"That's not very nice Mistress, I said; want me to have a talk with them?"

"No Pet, Vulva sighed, they'd just bite you too. They're almost old enough to send off to school, they need to get out and see Hell and meet other young demonkind."

"I'll miss them Mistress." I said morosely.

Vulva sighed, "So will I Pet, but they have to go to school to learn the basics of being good little demons."

I sniggered, "That's kind of an oxy-moron, isn't it Mistress? 'Good little demons'."

"Why yes Pet, I guess it is." Vulva said. "But now, bath time!"

"Oh Goody!" I hissed.

"Um, Pet? Vulva said, had you seen you know what?"

"The figment, I thought YOU were watching it Mistress." I said.

"No Pet. Well, we'd better find it; it probably needs a bath too."

We found Taz trying to 'fish' in Mistress's aquarium, I'm not sure who was more upset, the things in the aquarium, Taz, or My Mistress. At least he hadn't caught anything yet, in fact we had to pull him out with several 'fish' hanging on with rather large fang filled mouths. In Hell sharks are the minnows, we use them for bait. And some of the smaller 'fish' are the meanest.

Mistress Vulva fired off a quick hmail to Prince Orobas, the message was simple, 'Come quick, we're screwed!' She knew it would take him awhile to show up, so off to the baths and a good long soak. It had been one Hell of a day.

Taz rode on my back again on the way to the bathing grotto, and we reached it without him eating anything. Since he was behaving himself Mistress gave him some brimstone cookies which made him pretty happy. Maybe he is part demon; they're about the only things he eats that he doesn't spit back out later if you make him.

We had a good long soak, and I was too tired and worried to even try and 'seduce' My Mistress like I usually do when we bathe, I love to service her while we're in the boiling sulfur pool. Besides, I was still worn out from humping the Medusa. I didn't even bother the attendants, or other bathers, and bounced Taz on my tail while he squealed in delight. The attendants thought he was the 'cutest thing they'd ever seen', and stuffed him with brimstone cookies, but I didn't get ANY! Well, except for the ones I stole from him.

When we got back to the office Mistress checked on the kiddies, and I just plopped down on my favorite rug, sitting on Taz so he wouldn't wander off. Evidently he doesn't need to sleep either, but he calmed after trying to chew on me for awhile. My Mistress got on the computer, checked a few things, and then leaned back with a deep sigh.

"Well Pet, Prince Orobas is on his way. He's stopping at Great Lord Ba'als Fortress of Doom on the way, so we have a few hours until he gets here. I don't know about you, but I really need a massage.

"Yes Mistress! I hear and obey o'lovely one!" I hissed happily, happy days are here again, do-dah, do-dah! Taz got to watch, a dazed expression on his face.

The End

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