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When we finished our date, it was near midnight and as much as I could have spent more time, we had to call it a night and make our fare-wells.

The flight back was quicker than I thought, and when Arh landed, he fetched some logs for the fire and lit them with his breath to then lay down and watch the flames.

I sat next to him, leaning into his chest to gaze at the fire.

This went on for a few silent minutes. I didn't expect any conversation because I wasn't sure if he was napping, but looking over to him, his eyes weren't closed.

He looked at me, not moving his head, and looked back to the fire.

"Little one." He said. "Would you say that this date was successful?"

I hesitated. I wasn't sure if I should tell him what I thought he wanted to hear, or the truth. I opted for the latter. "It wasn't perfect but I guess you could say it was a success."

He sighed.

I reached over to his arm to gently stroke it, hoping that whatever seemed to be holding him down would pass.

I didn't expect him to flinch.

"Is something wrong?" I asked.

He stared off into the fire some more.

"Arh, what's wrong?" I asked again.

He sighed, and lifted his head to look at me. His eyes were cast low and his brows were furrowed. "Is this when we are to initiate sexual intercourse?"

I wasn't sure what he was getting at, but I held my gaze with him as he seemed to be fighting something inside of himself. "Do you want to?"

He tried to smile, but I could tell it wasn't a genuine smile; his eyes didn't match the expression. And my own face must have betrayed that thought to him because he sighed and decided to break the silence. "Truth be told, little one, no. At least not at the moment."

I sat there, trying to figure out why there was so much that had changed. He seemed to be quite intent on becoming familiar with my sex when the dryads had teased me the other day. Something had obviously changed since then.

Then a thought crept up. A thought that brought with it the familiar tension in my body that often rose up whenever I felt like I was being scrutinized for my failure to maintain control of my emotions. "Is it because of what happened at Duul's place?"

He looked me in the eye. "No... well, not entirely."

It never got easy knowing that people didn't seem able to deal well with other people's emotions. Especially untempered emotions like mine.

I didn't want to think this was the end, as it often was before. I needed to know. "Is that going to be a problem?" that feeling in my body grew when I said that, becoming an icy pit in my stomach and my eyes felt that wavering to them as I could tell they were trying to hold back their tears.

He looked away, down to his paws. "I... No, I should not let it be." He said, looking at me as his expression shifted to a sideward glance. "I was simply unprepared."

"Is that why you were freaking out?" I asked, being reminded of how he was behaving when I regained consciousness.

He didn't answer. This didn't seem to be an issue of him misinterpreting what I had said because he didn't ask me to clarify. The only thing he gave me was more silence.

"Arh, please talk to me." I asked, the pit in my stomach growing larger with every breath, making the battle my eyes were fighting to dam up the tide a losing battle. "Is that going to be a problem?"

I could have drowned had he not sighed to broke the silence.

"No. It is not a problem. I just..." He looked down to the floor.

I placed my hand on his shoulder. I wasn't sure if this was a welcome gesture, but I wanted to do something, anything. But when I looked up to see his face, I didn't expect to see his tears.

"Little one, I am an apothecary." He said, turning to me. "Do you know what that means?"

"You work with medicines?"

"Yes, that is one aspect." He turned to look into the sky beyond the cave. "But there is more to it, at least in this world."

I didn't know what to say, or to do. I felt like I was lost.

"To be an apothecary in this world means that one of the tasks that I am expected to perform is--" He struggled to say the rest.

"I am sometimes called on to help dragons find their way back to us." He said, turning to look me in the eyes. "To help them fight their darkness."

He sat there in silence, his eyes closed as he seemed to be fighting to find the courage to say the rest.

"But I could not save every dragon." He said weakly, with words that were barely a whisper.

I wanted to comfort him. To reach out. But he shied away when I tried.

More silence.

He eventually turned back to me. "I am sorry, little one. But I am fearful."

"Are you afraid I'm going to try and hurt you?"

"No, it is not that." He looked deep into my eyes with his tear-streaked face. Then he said with a raw and wavering voice "I do not want to live in fear that I may be called on to give you your final peace."

"My..." when I realized what he meant, I felt like I was being pulled into the floor. I felt like I had to say something. I barely knew how to handle my own emotions thanks to being denied the opportunity to learn, so the idea of him breaking down like this left me feeling desperate to try and fix things. "But you have saved some, right?"

He eventually nodded, but that didn't seem to do much to dispel the funk he was caught in. "A good many."

I tried to smile, even if only to show him I could.

He brought his muzzle closer when I reached out to him.

"I won't lie and say I'm fine." I said. "I don't want to. Not with you."

That seemed to lift his mood a bit, but then he brought his head a bit closer when he saw my eyes letting the tears they were holding fall.

"You're the first in a very long time that's shown genuine interest in me."

"I am interested in you." He said, bringing his muzzle next to my cheek.

"I know. You seem so happy being near me." I said, trying my best to let his admission lift me out of this funk.

"And I am happy to be near you." He whispered, to which I smiled... genuinely, this time. "But as to this date."

"We don't need to do anything you aren't ready." I said as I looked to see the light of the fire causing his eyes to shine. "I don't want mess this up. I don't want to risk ruining what could be."

There it was. A thought that slipped out before I had fully thought it through.

"It is not that I am not interested." He said. "The gods above and below know very well that were this merely casual, I would likely have tried to sate myself on every hidden pleasure our bodies could discover together the first night we spent together." He sighed, and faced me. "But I want our first genuine moment to... to be..."

He stopped.

"... Meaningful?" I offered.

He nodded.

"I know how empty casual sex can be." He said as he brushed his cheek against mine. "And how it fails to give the heart what it needs."

We sat there relishing the feeling of each other's skin.

"I hope I can give you what you need." I whispered.

"You already have." He said as he brought his lips next to mine.

That was our first kiss. It wasn't like the movies, or the romances of time immemorial. It was clumsy at first, considering the difference in size between us, but we soon found a rhythm that worked.

We held ourselves together like that for longer than either of us could recall. But when the kiss broke and our lips receded, it was not long enough.

"I wish to ask of you a favor, little one." He whispered. "To know your touch."

"Like this?" I offered as I stroked his cheek.

"Not quite." He blushed. "I wish to know your touch as we sleep, to feel your skin against mine. Unencumbered."

We made our way to his nest.

I disrobed.

I knew I wanted to be intimate with him, and this was what I needed; to be wanted, and not just for my sex.

As the exhaustion of the day finally caught up to us, entwined as we were, we were soon asleep and dreaming. Possibly of one another, but I never woke up during that night. Normally I would with another man, needing a few tries before I found the right fit.

I felt safe.