The Seeker, Chapter 29
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The Seeker, Chapter 29
By William W. Kelso
After we got back to Hell things got crazy for awhile, as usual. Mistress had to let Prince Orobas know we were back, fill out the usual 'mortal realm incursion' reports, and catch up on the hmail, which was what all the yelling was about, as usual. She really gets worked up about it, takes it personally. I got the job of finding a 'home' for the cockroach and slug that once been the Beautre sisters. Easier said than done, it had to be something they couldn't get out of. Ever try and keep a roach in a container? Well, try doing it with a roach that had a human mind and intelligence. It couldn't be airtight; they had to breathe, so just a jar was out of the question. Finally I found an old aquarium; don't ask ME how it ended up in Hell, in one of the storage rooms, it even had a stand. Turns it out it was Mistress Vulva's before her aquatic pets outgrew it and she got them a bigger one. Since some of the fishies can get to be the size of whales so I was kind of curious as to where she'd get another aquarium big enough, but that was in the future so I didn't worry about it too much. Afraid I'm not much for planning ahead, when you're immortal you tend to procrastinate, I mean, what's the hurry? I put some dirt in it, and even some 'plants', which meant mushroom and fungus like stuff, that I thought was a nice touch. Then I dumped them inside, put the lid on, and put a heavy gold bar on top. That ought to hold them! I thought. I put them under Hitler's photo so they could listen to him make speeches, which I thought was really mean of me, but with my luck they'd probably enjoy them. Then I crouched down and tapped at the glass with a claw, and I swear the roach gave me the finger, or claw, or whatever. Anyway there was no mistaking it for an insulting gesture. How rude, I thought, so I picked the aquarium up and shook it. How do ya'like them apples you stupid bugs.
"Pet, leave them alone and come here!" Vulva hissed.
I put the aquarium down, and walked over to Mistress's desk. I used to think it was huge, but heck, now I can hardly even put my head under it anymore. I can still hide behind it though. I know lots of good hiding places.
"Yes Mistress?" I asked.
"Prince Orobas is on his way, Vulva said, so we need to get ready. Go in and clean up the break room, it's still trashed from his last visit."
"It's not my fault Mistress, I said, it was that Taz figment things."
"Yes, but it's not here to clean up the mess, so YOU get to do it." Vulva said.
"Why do I always have to clean up the messes?" I whined, smoke puffing from my nostrils.
"Because, Vulva hissed, you usually make them, and you're a slave, it's what slaves DO! Now GO!"
Oh yeah, right, I thought, make the dragon do it, no one cares what he thinks or wants! It's not fair! I moped as I went back to the break room, I'm good at feeling self pity, it's kind of a hobby. I was already in a bad mood anyway, what with my mate visiting Master Vulkrebs and the kids off in school. I was lonely.
I froze as I entered the break room, and gave a deep hiss of warning. There was a strange demon sitting at one of the tables drinking sulfur tea and eating cookies! The Mistress's sulfur tea and cookies! I ignited my fire flux and reared up, snarling.
"Who are you, I hissed, and what do you want?" And my body ignited with a loud 'whoosh' and flames flickered from my eyes. One thing I take seriously is protecting My Mistress AND her stuff, and finding a stranger in her office made me MAD!
"Behave yourself and announce me slave, the demon said, I am Razas. Now, where do you keep the urinal cakes?"
'Mistress, I called via our mind link, there's some asshole in the breakroom eating your stuff, can I fry him?'
I didn't take my eyes off the demon, and snapped my jaws, flaming drool exploding in little puffs as it hit the floor. Just because he was fairly small and not very intimidating by Hell's standards that meant nothing, and I'd learned to be cautious, the hard way. Getting the crap beat out of you on a regular basis teaches you not to make assumptions.
'What? Vulva replied, how the HELL did he get in there?'
'You got me Mistress, should I chew him up and feed him to the plant?' I asked hopefully.
'Not yet Pet, Vulva said, better see who it is first.'
"You wait, I said, the Mistress is coming."
"Good, about time, Razas said, these cookies are stale."
That's because you don't have good taste, I thought, MY Mistress bought only the best brimstone cookies, hot and fresh right off the lava flow! I moved a little closer and narrowed my eyes, small spurts of flame wisping from my nostrils. Go on, I thought, smiling, make a wrong move.
Mistress Vulva; already irritated from all the STUPID hmail, got up to go see what the Hell Pet was talking about. How could someone get into her domain without being seen by the guards at the portal, or being sniffed out by Pet? Nothing got past Pet! She paused in the door when she saw the demon sitting at the table. Oh, just fucking great, she thought, what the HELL does HE want!?
"Vulva, hello! The demon said, long time, no see!"
"OK Razas, how'd you get in here, and what the FUCK do you want?" Vulva hissed.
Wow, I thought, Mistress wasn't usually so rude to guests! 'Want me to rearrange his anatomy Mistress?' I 'thought' hopefully.
'No Pet, unfortunately not, he's probably here on official business. We'll wait and see.'
"Now Vulva, is that any way to treat an old friend?" The demon said, not sounding aggrieved at all.
"Only if he's a total asshole, Vulva hissed, now tell me what you want or you get to be Pet's new chew toy."
"My, my, you're so beautiful when you're being a complete bitch, did you know that?" The demon said with a snarl.
I gave a deep guttural hiss; and snarling, started towards him, NO ONE but NO ONE insults MY Mistress! Not when I'M around!
"PET, NO!" Vulva hissed. But secretly she was pleased.
Very reluctantly I stood down, and backed away hissing angerily, my fighting spines up and tail barb sharp, tail whipping. I did NOT like this guy. He was a lesser demon, but still winged which meant he was most likely a messenger or herald. But he didn't have a nice reptilian tail like most of the greater demonkind. He looked basically like a man with bat wings, long barbed monkey tail, hooves, dog like head, and reddish brown fur. Plus he had on some clothes, which meant he was a big sissy as far as I was concerned. Real demons don't wear clothes! He even had on shorts! The very idea!
"You had better tell me what you want, Vulva hissed, sometimes Pet doesn't obey me very well if he's mad. And if he gets out of hand, well, you know. I can't be held responsible since you're trespassing."
"Very well, Razas said, I'm here on official business. I need your Seeker for a very important mission, very high profile target."
"I wouldn't let him work for you for all the souls in Hell!" Vulva hissed, now get OUT of here!"
"WRONG, Razas hissed, you don't have a choice; the order comes directly from Prince Gaap. And I suggest you make it a 'freebie'."
"Prince Gaap? Vulva gasped, I thought he had pretty much retired! I haven't heard anything about him in centuries!"
"Well, he's up and about, Razas said in a more courteous tone of voice, and he's worried. All the archdemonkind are, he's not the only one. These latest run-ins with Chaosists and the Old Ones have been increasing steadily; you're not the only ones who have tangled with them. Those damn meddling Chaosists are bound and determined to release the Elder Gods. And you know what that means; the idiots have NO idea what they'd unleash upon the worlds."
I gave a concerned hiss, those Chaosists were real nuts. I'd had two run-ins with the so-called Old Ones, and just barely survived. If they were released from the place they'd been banished to; no one knew how long ago, well, even Hell would probably fall. For some reason the Chaos Order thought they'd be made immortal and powerful if they set the Old Ones free. Hah, I thought, if they wanted to see what they're really get made into they could ask the Beautre sisters, but of course they couldn't answer anymore. Cockroaches and slugs can't talk. Well, not exactly, there are demonkind that look pretty much like giant cockroaches and slugs that can talk. I've heard they're nice people, I just don't hang out with them though, they're too creepy and I HATE bugs.
"Why me? Vulva asked, I mean, why MY Seeker?"
"Because he does a good job; at least according to Great Lord Ba'al and Lord Dracul. He appears to have made a name for himself."
"Yes, Vulva said, he IS the best, but his methods can be, well, somewhat, um, unconventional."
I couldn't help but preen a little, I love praise from My Mistress. It's one of the few things that make me really happy. She said I was the 'best'! Joy!
"Be that as it may, Razas said, they want him. They want him to, er, fetch someone that has great knowledge concerning the Old Ones, they want to, um, have a talk with him."
"Yeah, I'll just be they do, Vulva said. Very well, I guess we have no choice. Who, and where?"
"The name; so far as we know; is Absalom Baldric, Razas said. He was a magician of some power back in the last days of the Roman Empire, and later was an advisor to kings and nobles during the dark ages. He got into some kind of trouble awhile back, but since then he's kind of kept a low profile. And one thing, he's not human, he's a Cambion."
"WHAT! Vulva hissed, you know how they are! I'm not even sure if Pet can reap his soul!"
"Who said anything about reaping, Razas said, they just want to talk with him. All your Seeker has to do is find him, grab him, and bring him back for a little visit with Prince Gaap and other interested parties. They'll even offer him payment of some kind, and let him off the hook. Give him a clean-slate."
Vulva was mad, but knew there was nothing she could do; you did NOT refuse a 'request' from a Prince of Hell. Oh, you could, it just wasn't recommended. They had ways of getting...even.
"Very well, Vulva hissed angrily, give me the information! I'll send him as soon as we're through with Prince Orobas."
"Prince Orobas! Razas said, what's HE got to do with it?"
"Nothing, Vulva said. We just finished a mission for him, and he should be here fairly soon for a follow up report. You can wait if you want."
"Um, no thanks, Razas said, I've got other things to do. I'll have to send you the information and coordinates, Prince Gaap hasn't given them to me yet."
The demon started to walk out the door, and I just couldn't resist it. I said 'achoo', snorted, and spit a small gob of flaming drool that hit his ass with a loud 'pop' and puff of smoke, and burned a hole in his shorts. He jumped about five feet, and spinning around snarled at me.
"Sorry, I lied, allergies." I'm allergic to assholes, I thought, but didn't say that out loud.
For a second I thought he was going to make something out of it. Oh please do, I thought, please! That's it, just give me an excuse! I'll even let you throw the first punch.
"PET!" Vulva hissed. Then she said to Razas, "I think you'd better go. I'll deal with him."
The demon gave another snarl; boy was he pissed. Too bad, so sad, I thought. But he had enough sense to know when to back down. He knew a fire dragon was not to be trifled with, even a small one.
Wuss, I thought as he left, but then again I'd have run and hid too if I knew a Prince of Hell was dropping in for a visit. For a Prince of Hell Prince Orobas seemed pretty mellow though. He was more, well, sad then evil. But he was powerful; you could smell it on him.
I stuck out my tongue as Razas disappeared out the door, then noticed Mistress Vulva was headed my way. Yipe, I thought, and cringed a little figuring she was going to smack me.
Vulva walked up to Pet and gave him a lick on the snout, "Good boy, she said, too bad you didn't set him on fire."
Caught by surprise, but pleased, I licked her back, and asked, "Mistress, who was that jerk?"
"Razas? Vulva said, well, I'd certainly use a stronger word then that to describe him."
"OK Mistress, I said, who was that total and complete asshole?"
"Better, Vulsa hissed in amusement. He's kind of go-between, he does odd jobs for various demonkind, but is sworn to none. He's who you go to if you want to avoid 'official' channels, and he thinks he's special, above the rest of us, since he's freelance and not a slave. He's also not trustworthy; he'll take advantage when he can. He thinks he's too good to get caught, but one of these days he's going to piss off the wrong Lord or Lady. Unfortunately he IS good at what he does, so has lots of business."
"I take it you two don't get along, Mistress?" I asked.
Vulva chuckled, "Oh, yes, you could say that. He cheated me out of some choice property a few hundred years ago, I trusted him with the deed and he put his own name on it! It's still tied up in the courts."
"You should have let me feed him to the plant, Mistress." I hissed.
"I would have liked that very much, Vulva admitted, but since he was on business from a Prince of Hell he was untouchable. Maybe later though, I still owe him."
"I'm sorry Mistress." I said.
"For what?" Vulva asked in surprise.
"For letting him get in here. I don't know HOW he managed to do that! He must have walked right past me!" I said. I was ashamed of myself as I took my guard dragon duties very seriously; I never even caught a whiff!
"That's OK Pet, Vulva said, he probably used an invisibility spell, and masked his scent the same way. He's a sneaky little creep, that's one reason he's so popular. He's kind of Hell's version of an espionage specialist. If you want something stolen; or need something found out, he's the one you call. I hate to admit it, but he's good at it. From now on though I'm putting a ward on my office, it will reveal any invisibility spells being used. Like Hell he'll sneak in here again, the nerve! And speaking of stealing, we'd better check and see if he took anything."
"Who's this Baldric guy I have to go get?" I asked.
"He's a Cambion Pet, Vulva said, they're a very, well, devious and deceitful kind of creature. I've met him a few times, but the last time was over a hundred years ago."
"Hmmpph, I hissed, so what else is new? Everybody you send me after is devious and deceitful, and usually antisocial AND a total loony too."
Vulva hissed in amusement, too true! "Well, these are even worse Pet. They're part demonkind, in his case his mother was human and his father was an Incubus. So he has some demonic powers, so you be careful!"
About this time a scared Imp stuck her head in the office, "Mistress, baa-aaaa, Prince Orobas is coming!"
"Drat! Vulva hissed, I almost forgot! Pet, quick, get some refreshments ready!"
"Mistress, I hissed, that Razas guy drank the last of the tea and ate all the cookies!" And I started running around in circles howling which I do when I'm scared or don't know what else to do.
"SMACK! Knock it off Pet! Calm down!" Vulva said.
"Yipe! Owwwwoo" I whined, holding my nose. How mean. And about then Prince Orobas walked into the office, so I threw myself down on the floor and covered my head with my wings. Don't worry about me, I thought, I'm dead.
Vulva bowed deeply to Prince Orobas, the imposing horse demon being one of the more powerful of Hell's intricate and confusing hierarchy. Just because a demonkind was a Prince didn't mean a whole lot, a mere demi-demonkind could be even more powerful. In some ways Hell is like any other society, there are those who come into power for awhile, then have to make way for others as their own influence and power wanes. But a Prince was still a Prince, and you'd better show them respect even if you are technically more powerful than they are. But Prince Orobas was still very powerful, paradoxically more for what he doesn't do then for what he does do. He can see the past, present and future and will answer any question you ask truthfully, which scares the Hell of demonkind. He also deserves respect, which also makes a big difference.
Prince Orobas looked at the book of spells when Vulva handed it to him, snorted, and said,
"So much trouble caused by such a little; and very poorly written, book. Such is the way of things. You have done well, you and your Seeker. You both saw how deadly and powerful this book can be in the wrong hands. And speaking of the Beautre sisters?"
I just stuck my arm out from under my wings and pointed at the small aquarium.
"They managed to summon an Old One, Vulva said, and as you can see have paid the price."
Prince Orobas looked at the cockroach scuttling around in the aquarium, the slug slowly slithering over a piece of fungus. "How horrible, he said, but if anyone deserved such a fate those two did. It is good of you to care for them."
I don't want'em, I thought. 'Mistress, I said via our mind link, tell him he can have them if he wants them.'
"Oh, we're not doing it out of the kindness of our hearts, Vulva said, we just don't like the idea of them running around loose even like that. You may have them if you want."
"Oh, no thank you! Prince Orobas chuckled, I'm afraid you're stuck with them."
'Mistress, I said, ask him where Taz is.' Taz, or 'The Tasmanian Devil' was a manifestation of the cartoon character by the same name. Prince Orobas found him in a world where things came to life if enough people believed in them, and he followed Prince Orobas home like a stray dog. My Mistress and I had a run in with him, but I kind of liked the little critter, he could be useful. He liked me to give him rides.
"Prince Orobas, Vulva asked, what happened to that strange Taz creature you brought with you last time?"
"The figment? Prince Orobas answered, oh, I found a way to send him home, he was getting homesick. Fascinating place, they aren't born and they don't die. They just fade into existence when they become popular, then fade away as their popularity wanes. I've also wondered if there might be an element of that in the existence of demonkind. I mean, think about it, have you noticed that a demonkinds power in Hell can be greatly influenced by how 'popular' or known he is in the mortal realm? I mean, the powerful old demonkind gradually become less powerful as new ones rise to replace them in human myths and legends. Maybe even we'll eventually just fade away if no one believes in us anymore?"
After that bit of philosophic musing Prince Orobas took the book without a title, and left. Much to our relief.
I crossed my eyes and looked at the tip of my snout. Wow, that was really something to think about! Problem was thinking 'deep' thoughts like that make my brain hurt. I'm not too swift as it is; I mean I'm NOT stupid; I'm just not a scholarly type either. I prefer things fairly simple; otherwise I usually end up running around in circles and howling, which usually results in My Mistress smacking me. So I avoid that kind of stuff. Then I suddenly had a thought.
"Owwooooooo, I yowled as I ran around in a circle, Snort, HISSSSSS, oWWWOOOO!"
"PET! Vulva hissed, what's your problem NOW?!"
"Mistress! I howled, what if Prince Orobas is right, what if we're figments of imagination? What if no one believes in us!! OWWOOOOO, I don't want to fade away! I don't want YOU to fade away!!" I had a sudden vision of My Mistress becoming transparent and fading away while I tried to hold on to her, and it really scared me, without her I would fade away too as I'd have no reason to keep on living. "OWWOOOOOO!!" I yowled in terror.
Vulva closed her eyes, why me? She thought, then said. "Pet, come here."
She took the distraught dragons head in her hands, and said, "Pet, as long as you believe in me, and I believe in you, we'll be fine."
"Really Mistress?" I sniffed.
"I promise Pet." She said, and licked his snout.
I perked up at that, she never lies to me! Not ever. She always knows all the answers too, and answers even my dumbest questions with perfectly serious answers. Why she puts up with me I'll never know.
Vulva rubbed the crooning dragon's eye ridges, his breath hot against her fur. Such a strange beast, she thought; not for the first time. So strong and powerful; yet so insecure and childlike at times. But he loved her, totally and completely without any expectation of anything in return, and no one had ever done that before. So she loved him too, how could she not? And his biggest terror of all seemed to be of being alone and unloved, but that wouldn't happen, not so long as she existed. Such a strange, wonderful beast.
Prince Orobas paused as he walked down the tunnel after leaving Mistress Vulva's office. He did not invoke the usual reaction in other demonkind and Imps the way most Prince's of Hell did, the main reason being he didn't look like your typical Prince of Hell. Demonkind and Imps passing him nodded or bowed respectfully as not many knew him by sight, but knew he was not your average slave. He didn't care; all that groveling was tedious and wasted time. He had paused when he had seen another demonkind all the others were avoiding. The sleek black scaled creature was sitting hunched against the wall of the tunnel to keep out of the way, his head hanging low.
"Slayer, Prince Orobas said, for what it is worth you will one day find happiness." And then continued on his way.
The Slayer, surprised he had been addressed, lifted his head and looked at the back of the large demon as he walked away. He had no idea how to respond, and if that happened in Hell you kept your mouth shut. So he just watched, not really knowing what to think, and eventually hung his head again.
Vulva moaned as Pet thrust in to her, his fangs gently biting her neck as he pinned her against the desk. "Ohhhhhh, mmmmm." She gasped, he is SO good at this! It had started in the usual way, with him rubbing against her legs, pushing them open with his snout, and then licking her mound. Once he got that far she could seldom resist his offer to service her. She had lots of 'lovers', but he was her most frequent and he was talented in oral sex better than just about any other demon she'd mated with. And that nether-tongue of his; the one currently busy deep in her pussy, what he could do with it was fantastic! She gave a snarl of pleasure as he pushed her further over and sped up his thrusts, the hot breath whistling through his nostrils loud in her ears, and his hot body against her fur felt wonderful.
I bit My Mistress gently on her neck as I mounted her, and ohhhh, no matter how many times I've done it the sheer pleasure never lessens. Her slick tight sex swallowed my enormous penis with ease, which never ceases to amaze me even knowing what she is. I would have caused a non-demonness severe internal damage, and even ordinary demoness's can't couple with me. Not to mention a lesser female would have burst into flame. I'm one hot lover. I growled and hissed softly as I mated with My Mistress, it's my most favorite thing in the world as it allows me to give My Mistress pleasure and show my love for her, and the pleasure I get in return from servicing her is indescribable. Even by demonic standards it's mind blowing. I straddled her with my hands resting on the desk, my weight and fangs in her neck pinning her. She snarled and hissed, clawing at the desk, her tail tightly twined around my own. I took her like the beast I am, hard and fast, our lust in full control. If we'd had more time I would have been able to take the edge off our mutual needs and be more gentle the last couple of times. But rough animal sex is enjoyable too, especially to creatures like us, so I brought us to several orgasms as quickly as possible, before dismounting from her with a final roar of ecstasy while she screeched and snapped her jaws. It was great.
Vulva grunted as Pet pulled out her, then moaned as he cleaned her sex with his tongue. She let him do it as it felt good, he enjoyed it; she certainly knew she did, and it left her feeling clean and refreshed, ready for the next round. He finally raised his head licking his snout and smacking in satisfaction, and she turned and gave him a hug and a long slow lick on the snout, the taste of their sexual fluids still on his scaly skin. Oh, she thought, he always makes me feel SO good. She hugged him again, and said,
"Thank you Pet, that was very nice." And he rubbed his head against her legs and crooned. She had never heard another demondkind, fire dragon, or otherwise, make a sound quite like that, and she loved the soft low rumbling/purring sound. Then the damn computer beeped, and the mood was broken. She gave his snout a last fond lick, and it was business as usual.
And she had feared it was the pentagram coordinates from Razas, the; as Pet had so eloquently put it, complete and total asshole. Well, there was no rest for the wicked. She really liked that phrase!
"Mistress?" I asked as we headed for the pentagram chamber, when will the kids come to visit?"
"Pet, Vulva said, they just left. It will be a while I'm afraid, they're not allowed to leave for the first year."
I stopped and sat down, and sniffed. "A whole year??" I whined.
Vulva stopped too, but she wasn't angry at the delay. "I miss them too Pet, she said softly. But we need to let them start to learn what they are, and we need to think of good names for them. The next time we see them they'll be old enough to be given their demonic names. We need to come up with something good."
"Mistress, I asked, when will Lydia be back? I miss my mate."
"She has her own babies to take care of now, but she should be back soon. I know you miss her Pet, I do too. If she can't make a visit soon we'll pay my brother one so you can say Hi."
"Thank you Mistress." I said.
I brightened up a little at that as I got up and followed My Mistress again. When a demonkind gets a name it's very important as they'll be called that for eternity, and on one wants to go through eternity with a stupid or lame name. Case in point, my 'name' is Pet, can't get much lamer then that, but I like it. My Mistress gave it to me, so it's just fine so far as I'm concerned. I can't even remember my 'human' name, but I bet it was probably lame too. Plus I really missed Lydia, when demonkind take a 'life mate' they're pretty miserable if they're separated for very long.
When we reached the pentagram chamber I hopped up on top of the raised dais and got ready for the mission.
"Now you be careful Pet, Vulva said, if you run into ANY trouble you yell for me."
"Oh, don't worry about that Mistress." I assured her. And I would too, but only if it got really hairy. I gave a little 'bye-bye' wave, she nodded at the operator, and suddenly I was somewhere else.
I will never get used to that, I thought, as I stood up and flapped my wings a couple of times before refolding them. I sniffed the air and looked around, where the heck am I anyway? As usual in the middle of nowhere, which makes sense as if I turned up in Times Square it might get noticed. Then again, maybe not, New York is kind of weird. I'd probably just be ignored, or run over by a cab.
Not having a GPS; they don't work in Hell, all I could tell so far was I was in a thick forest, so had to watch the body heat. Setting the forest on fire might piss My Mistress off. No sign of the beacon, typical, so I beat my way into the air with powerful flaps of my wings, tearing branches out of the way. I broke through the canopy and circled, and there it was, quite a ways off. I kept low and close to the trees; damn radar, and flew as close as I could without being seen before dropping back down into the trees. I landed in what I thought was a small clearing, but was actually a large shallow pond full of slime. The damn stuff looked so solid I thought it was grass, but it had the consistency of pudding and I sank in up to my neck. Well, I thought, this is an auspicious start, yuck. As I pulled myself out of the goo; strands of it hanging all over me and smoking, I thought, this is going to make a really good first impression. I looked more like the Creature from the Black Spittoon then a dragon.
The slime bath over with; they're greatly overrated, I scrambled up a low hill and found; of course, a wall. Thick brick, wrought iron spikes on top, about par for the course. And of no use whatsoever against me; or any other demonkind, for that matter. So I hopped up on top, pulled out an iron spike to use as a toothpick, and dropped down on the other side. No alarms, no screaming, no giant guard bugs, no Werewolves, no plants grabbed me, no mines, so far so good. I pushed through some bushes and saw my destination, a large old country estate. It had seen better days and was somewhat dilapidated, but still had a grand old air to it, like a beautiful woman who had aged well. I figured I was probably in Jolly Old England or Scotland somewhere. The place looked pretty much abandoned, and the grounds were overgrown. But I could smell my target; he was in the house somewhere. Once marked you can't get away. Oh, you can run and hide, for a long time sometimes, but we always find you. There's no 'Statute of limitations' when you owe your soul to Hell. The Seekers motto is "We always get your soul", we stole it from the Mounties.
As I approached the house, cautiously of course, I was kind of surprised when I still didn't encounter any guards, alarms, minefields, no cameras, nothing. Usually they had at least some security cameras or sensors or something, to keep out human thieves more than anything else. People who have demonkind after them tend to be somewhat paranoid. I walked out onto the overgrown circular front drive and looked at the house, and there were some gargoyles perched on the edge of the roof. I waved, but no response, so they were probably real stone statues. I wouldn't have had to worry about them even if they were real gargoyles though; no demonkind can stand in my way if I'm on an official mission, not even if they're slaves. Usually they're glad to see me; it means they'll be free again as soon as I rip their masters, or mistress's, soul from their body. There's a drawback to enslaving demonkind, when you finally die guess who's in Hell waiting to greet you, and payback is a bitch and eternity is a long time.
Hmmm, I thought as I walked around the house. No bars, no steel shutters, no 'No Trespassing' or 'No Seekers Allowed' signs, nothing. Okay, now to get serious. So I knocked on the door. A minute later an old speaker hissed into life, and said,
"Whatever you're selling we don't want any, can't you read?"
I looked and saw a small brass plaque with "No Solicitors" engraved on it next to the bell.
"No, I said, I'm not selling anything, I'm here to..."
"Deliveries are in the rear!" The voice snapped, and the speaker popped and went silent.
OK, I thought, fuck this! Time to announce myself. So with a roar I kicked in the door, knocking it off the hinges. Actually the whole frame went with it. Ooops, don't know my own strength!
I stepped across the threshold hissing, and tripped over the fallen door and bit my tongue. "OWWWWWISSS!" I hissed, but stopped when a large green lizard in a butlers suit ran into the hall, skittered to a stop, and yelled,
"What the HELL is your problem? It wasn't locked!"
"Er, sorry?" I hissed, confused. OK, it was weird to see a giant green lizard wearing a butlers outfit, but it was even weirder he wasn't scared by the sight of a large red fire breathing dragon with flaming eyes who'd just kicked in a huge oak door like it was balsa wood.
"Sssssorry? The lizard hissed, you don't have to clean it up!"
"Look, I said I was sorry about the door. I'm here to see Absalom Baldric, on official business." I said.
"Yeah, yeah, I know what you are. The lizard hissed, the boss is upstairs, second door on the left. And THAT door isn't locked either! Aw man, hisssss, the boss is gonna be pissssed!"
I could tell the lizard, he looked like a green anole to me, wasn't a demonkind, and even odder wasn't supernatural. He was a real lizard, six feet tall standing up, and wearing a butler's uniform.
I looked at him sideways as I headed towards the large ornate staircase, but he pretty much ignored me. He just stared at the mess I'd made and hissed in dismay.
I ran into my next surprise in the hallway. It was maid, dressed in the typical domestic maid's uniform, but she was a bird. A big bird with colorful feathers, beak, long scaly legs ending in clawed feet pretty much like my own, and she let out a squawk of surprise when she saw me. I think she was a parrot of some kind, but like the lizard she wasn't an animal dressed up like a human, but a hybrid. I guess it would have been more correct to say they were both anthro-animals of some kind, that is, animals with human features. They were bipedal naturally, had hands with thumbs, and could talk. At least the lizard could, the bird just squawked again and ran off leaving a couple feathers floating in the air. I kept going until I reached the second door on the left. I feel like an idiot, I thought, as I gently rapped on the door.
"Come!" a quiet cultured voice called.
Actually I do, a lot, I thought, as I opened the large double doors; good thing as its kind of hard for me to fit through regular doors now, and entered. The room was a large den or smoking room of some kind. Well appointed in well worn finery from a hundred years ago. Comfortable, that's the word I was looking for! A slender man was bent over in front of a fireplace poking at the logs with a poker, and when he looked up his calm visage wavered for just a second, but he recovered quickly. He stood up to face me, and I was surprised to see he was wearing a glove on one hand.
"Well, he said, a demon AND a Seeker no less. To what do I owe this honor? Are you here for my soul?"
"Absalom Baldric, I said, in the name of Prince Gaap, Prince of Hell, I ask that you allow me to escort you to Hell. He wishes to see you. I have been told to swear that you in no way will be harmed, physically or mentally. You have his word. I bear his seal as proof."
The man came forward and took the large elaborate solid gold seal from my hand, examined it, then handed it back. As he did he rubbed the hand with the glove as if it might be painful.
"You may keep it." I hissed.
"Oh, no thank you, he chuckled, I know the consequences of keeping Hellgold around. The stuff is cursed."
"OK, thanks", I said, and ate it. Mmmm.
"I must say I'm kind of surprised at the rather polite, er, invitation." He said.
"Oh no, you misunderstand, I replied. It's not an invitation, I'm taking you rather you want to go or not. But like I said, you will be under the Prince's protection; and mine, and no harm will come to you. There was even talk of compensation for your, um, inconvenience."
"Inconvenience, well, he said, that's certainly a polite way of putting it. But of course I'll come, reluctantly but cooperatively, I could not refuse a command from Prince Gaap anymore then you could. I am, you know, part demon."
"Yesss, I hissed, I can smell it on you. My Mistress said you're a Cambion."
"Yes indeed, he replied, and tell me, who is your Mistress?"
"I have the honor of being Mistress Vulva's slave and familiar" I replied with pride in my voice.
"Mistress Vulva! Absalom said, is she still as beautiful as ever?"
I think, I thought, I'm going to like this guy.
"Even more so." I replied.
He cocked his head and looked at me a little closer, "Are you one of her 'special pets'?" he asked.
I had no reason to lie, so answered truthfully. "Yes, I used to be a mortal."
"You poor creature, he said, I'm so sorry."
"That's nice of you, I said, but not necessary. I'm perfectly happy like I am. My Mistress gave me the only home I've ever known, and takes care of me. She takes care of all of us, all her pets."
He seemed a little bit embarrassed, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to imply..."
"It's OK, I said, everyone assumes the same thing. And I have to admit most slaves probably aren't as happy as I am."
"Well, he said, I wish I could offer you some refreshments, but I'm afraid we don't have any demonic fare in the pantry, you just can't get good brimstone cookies in this realm. I'm afraid we don't entertain demonkind very often."
"Nice of you to offer, I said, but I don't eat much. The gold seal was a nice treat. I hope you don't mind my asking, but your staff are, well, kind of...odd."
"Odder then a large red demonic dragon bearing an invitation from a Prince of Hell?" He said with a smile. I hissed in amusement. "But no, I don't mind. They are all victims of Sorcery; some cursed intentionally, others as the result of spells or potions gone wrong. They are trapped like they are, and having no place to go came to me for help. The ones I cannot cure; or heal, usually remain in my service as at least they are not alone and don't have to worry about being persecuted. Sheila, the parrot, was in a circus freak show when I found out about her, and the poor dear has no idea how she ended up as an avian. Cornelius the lizard was cursed by another Sorcerer who was interested in the same Sorceress he was. It was a high level spell and I'm unable to reverse it, so he's stuck as a reptile I'm afraid.
"Well, I said, that's awfully nice of you, they're lucky they found someone to take care of them. I know what that can be like, I was lucky too. I wasn't much of a human, and I'm not much of a demon, but for some reason My Mistress puts up with me."
"Well, Absalom said, you're most definitely not the average demon, and I mean that as a compliment."
"Well, thank you, I said, and you're certainly not what I expected a half demon to be, and I mean THAT as a compliment."
"Touché!" Absalom said. Now, pray tell, what is it you want of me? I assume this is not a social call?"
"That is up to Prince Gaap, I said, but it has to do with the Chaosists, they have been very active lately, and we have narrowly prevented the summoning of one of the Old Ones, not once, but twice."
Absalom gave a deep sigh, "I suspected it might be something like that. The planets are nearing a conjunction which will make it much easier for the Old Gods to break loose from their prison if they are summoned and aided. The year 2012 will be the first time in ages that the timing will be right, and it must be prevented at all costs. Those Chaosists fools have NO idea what they are playing with."
"Prince Gaap indicated you were an expert on the 'Old Ones', I said, and might be able to be of some assistance. I've encountered them twice now, and they are...terrifying. Do you have any idea of what you're up against?"
"I guess you could say that, he grimaced, I am very familiar with what we're up against. When I was younger I was stupid and proud, I felt I should have more power; that I deserved to rule over others. So I sought out forbidden knowledge; not being satisfied with my demonic heritage; and my search led me to the legends of the Old Gods, those whose names must not be spoken. And for awhile I was even a Chaosist myself, a very powerful one. I'm ashamed to say I was one of the original founders of the movement, which is why I was banned from Hell. That is until I had a personal encounter with an Old One, and came to realize exactly what they are, and the danger they present to not only the world, but to Heaven and Hell as well. The foul creature took my love, another Cambion, a female, who had been my mate and lover for centuries. And I just barely escaped its clutches myself, but it left me this reminder of that encounter."
I watched as he pulled his glove off and held up his hand, and gave a startled snort. His hand had five small tentacles instead of fingers, and there was a mouth in the center of his palm! It slobbered and a long tongue licked out before retracting, and he pulled the glove back on and nursed his abnormal hand.
"My love is part of that thing now, he said, and I came very close to joining her, and bear this disfigurement as proof my idiocy and arrogance. There is no dealing with the Old Ones, they know nothing of honor or ethics. For all our faults we demonkind are at least honorable up to a point, and have emotions very much the same as mortal or angelic beings. The Old Ones are...incomprehensible, nothing we know or believe can apply to them; they are anti-life, anti-everything normal. They are not even evil, not in the way we understand evil. The live to destroy, to disfigure, to ruin, but they feel no emotion as they do it, no satisfaction, no love, no feelings. So yes, you could say I know them all too well."
"I'm sorry." I hissed.
He held up his gloved hand and looked at it, "I have learned to live with it, in some ways it is actually useful as it increases the power of some spells. But I can feel its connection to the Old One who tried to absorb my body and soul, make me a part of it."
"No, I said, I'm sorry about your hand of course, but I meant your love. It must have been horrible."
"Yes, it was, he said quietly. She begged me to help her as it was absorbing her, and I was holding her hand when it began to change me as well, through her. I had to let her go, had to watch helplessly as it took her, and I'll never forget the look on her face as she...changed. But enough of this; this remembering, it does no good. If Hell needs my help, then I will come with you gladly."
"Good, I said, I was hoping you'd be cooperative. Some people take it really personally when I come for them, but I guess it goes with the job. The pentagram is a fair distance from here, so we should leave soon. I can give you a few minutes to gather up anything you might need though. If you bring books or manuscripts make sure they have fireproof spells on them, or put them in an asbestos bag. Just as a precaution."
"I do have a few things that might come be useful, plus I need to let the staff know what's going on."
As we left the room I was surprised to find the 'staff' waiting in the hall, all armed to the teeth with some very nasty looking power lances and wands, all pointing at yours truly. I gave an angry hiss figuring I'd been set up, but Absalom held up his hand, and said,
"It's all right, there's no problem, he's a friend. You may go back to your duties. I may be gone for awhile, so Cornelius is in charge until I return."
They slowly lowered their weapons, and I took a closer look at them. In addition to the lizard man and bird woman there was a dog woman, a Werewolf (they're different from dog anthros, much nastier), two cat women (one house, one cougar), a rat man, and what I think was a armadillo. The armadillo had an artillery grade power lance in its large powerful arms. That would have hurt!
"You sure boss?" Cornelius asked.
"Yes, everything's fine, Absalom said, but thank you for backing me up."
"Well, OK boss, but you be careful." The lizard hissed.
"Oh, I assure you my dear Cornelius, I will be most careful; you have to be where I'm going."
As we walked past the rather dejected looking staff, I said, "They wouldn't have been able to stop me you know."
"That wouldn't have stopped them from trying." Absalom replied.
I didn't say anything to that, but I knew what it was to be loyal to; and care about, someone. It would have been one Hell of a fight, but I was glad it hadn't happened.
We went to a small; but very nicely stocked, library and he gathered up a few older looking books, taking one from a very well warded safe. Even I'd have had trouble with it.
"If anything happens to me you need to give this book to Prince Gaap", Absalom said, showing me a large hand written book of spells. "It contains spells which are effective against the Old Ones."
I nodded, and asked, "You ready? We have to hurry now."
"Yes, as ready as I'll ever be." He replied.
We exited through the front door, and when Absalom looked at me and raised an eyebrow I shrugged in embarrassment. Well, I guess he can send Mistress Vulva the bill. As we exited the main gate of the estate I asked him, "Why the dump, I mean, your place looks abandoned on the outside. Your neighbors must think no one lives here."
"Which is exactly the impression I like to cultivate, he replied, I mean, ever since my love was taken I haven't had much interest in a social life, and with my staff, well, I can't just invite people over for tea you know."
I gave a snort of amusement, I hadn't thought about that. I'm so used to seeing weird stuff a six foot green lizard in a butlers outfit wasn't all that unusual. But I keep forgetting how that would seem to the average mortal.
"I guess I can see you point." I hissed.
Then suddenly I stopped, and raising my snout sniffed the air. Something...
All of a sudden Absalom gasped and reeled backwards dropping his case of books. The shot was silenced, but with my keen hearing I still heard it, and turning my head saw a man some distance away about halfway up a tree. He was wearing dark clothing and had a rifle and was pointing it at me, but I could see him clearly even in the pitch dark. I looked down and saw a small red dot on my chest, and a second later a bullet ricocheted off into the night in a spray of sparks. OK, I thought, MY turn!
With a screech of rage I took off; another bullet pinging off my body, and with a few flaps reached the tree, grabbed the screaming sniper, and tore him into little pieces with my fangs and claws, grabbing his soul and flinging it through the black swirling vortex that opened to receive it. I didn't eat him, I don't eat meat.
'Mistress! I called in my mind, hang on to this one, we need to ask him questions!'
'Yes Pet, I've got him! She answered, what's going on?'
'Mistress, he took a shot at Absalom Baldric! I hope he's OK!'
I was MAD, at myself, for allowing someone under my protection to be injured, or even worse, killed. I took any promises I made very seriously, and it was a black mark on my record.
'Pet, Mistress said, what's going on?' But I ignored her for a minute.
I landed next to Absalom; hissing in concern, and gently rolled him over. He looked up at me, and said,
"Damn, I forgot how much that can hurt; I haven't been shot in ages!"
He had blood on his shirt, but he had pulled it open and the wound had already healed. I hissed in relief, being half demon does have its advantages.
'PET!!' Mistress called.
'It's OK Mistress, I replied, he's OK!'
"I'm sorry, I hissed, I promised to protect you, but I'm afraid I'm not much of a guardian."
"What? He said, this?? It was just annoying more than anything." He looked at the blood dripping from my fangs and claws, and added "I would guess our erstwhile assassin did not survive your retaliation? It would appear to me you DID do your job with great, er, enthusiasm."
"Yep, I said, and he's in Hell waiting for us. He has some explaining to do; he's been a baaad boy."
"He's probably a Chaosist agent, or in their hire, Abasalom said. They've tried to kill me more than once, but I don't think they know what I am."
"Well, I said, you do look pretty human to me."
"When I was banned from Hell I was locked into my human form, he replied, but when we get there I ought to be able to take on my true form, for the first time in over a hundred years. I'm looking forward to it."
I gave a snort of amusement as I helped him get up, "Most people usually aren't looking forward to going to Hell, even for a visit. Here, I'll carry the books, you must be sore."
"Thank you, most kind." He said.
I described where the pentagram was, and he knew the spot as soon as I told him about the pond of slime; he said he'd wondered why I smelled like that, and he knew a path that led almost directly to it, which would save time. As we walked along he asked me,
"I hope you don't mind my asking, but who were you, I mean, well, before?"
I lowered my head and kicked at some stones on the path as we walked, and was silent for awhile, so he probably thought he'd overstepped and I wasn't going to answer, but I liked him, so I finally said,
"I don't really remember much, I don't even remember my mortal name. I do know I was poor, down on my luck, and was alone and had nobody who cared about me. When I was given to Mistress as a sacrifice I had been tortured and was dying. She...she took away the pain and replaced it with pleasure and agonizing ecstasy. She gave me a home and a purpose, which was more then I'd ever had. I know I'm a slave, an unholy abomination, but I don't care." I kicked another stone, and added, "Have you ever loved someone more than yourself, more than anything?"
"Yes." He said softly.
"Oh, I'm so sorry, I said, your love. I'm so stupid sometimes."
"It's OK, he said, but yes, I know exactly what you mean."
Normally when I return to Hell through the pentagram it will open somewhere in the air so I can carry the souls I reap to their new owner, but since he was with me it just opened into Mistress Vulva's domain. So no flying and diving through this time, I forgot once and they had to scrap me off the ceiling. So we just stepped through the pentagram, and I was home. I gave a happy hiss as I saw My Mistress waiting for me.
I hopped off the pentagram and rubbed my head against My Mistress's legs, I hate being away even for a short time, I'm too insecure. While she scratched my head she said,
"Absalom Baldric, I presume? Welcome, I am Mistress Vulva, and you've already met Pet. You may not remember, but we met a few times long ago."
"But of course I remember, how could I forget such a beautiful lady?" Absalom said.
Mistress Vulva smiled, one thing you had to say about Cambion's, they are charming creatures.
"Mistress, I asked, where's the soul?"
"Oh, him? Vulva said. I had a little talk with him before sending him on to Level One to be processed. He was quite talkative, thought it might help." She gave a hiss of amusement, it never does! "He said he was hired to kill Absalom by someone he never even met, that he was contacted via the internet and paid with bank wires. Not much help I'm afraid. Looks like he took the wrong job this time though. Hiss, hiss, hissss!"
I hissed in amusement too, yes, indeed he did! He should have known better then to shoot at demonkind, especially a pissed off Seeker.
Absalom took a deep breath, there was no mistaking that smell, Hell! It was good to be back after so long. "Do you mind?" he asked. Then he stripped of his clothes and gave a moan of pleasure as large bat wings burst from his back and his skin took on a dusky red shade with a light covering of reddish fur, and a long barbed tail shot out from the base of his spine. "Oh yessss, much better!" He grinned, his fangs showing.
I looked at him and he was pretty human by Hell's standards, but was after all, only half demon. He obviously felt no more embarrassment at being nude then we did. And I knew My Mistress was checking him out, he was pretty well endowed, he hadn't gotten short changed in that area at all, and that part was definitely demonic. Oh great, I thought, here we go.
Absalom had been 'checking out' Mistress Vulva too. He hadn't been to visit Hell in over a hundred years, and had missed that part of being demonic. He'd enjoyed mating with mortal women and some members of his staff, but there was nothing like a demoness, and it had been so long. And with his demonic form came demonic needs.
Vulva flared her nostrils as the very handsome Cambion approached her, and she hissed appreciatively when he took her hand and kissed it. But she hissed even more appreciatively when he suddenly kissed her, hard and long, his hands kneading her breasts. She wasn't offended by the blatant familiarity at all; in fact she approved and understood his need. When he stepped back she looked approvingly as his large jutting erection. Not bad.
He pulled away, and said in a deep husky voice, "Forgive me lady, but it's been over a hundred years."
"Well then, Vulva hissed, looks like we're going to be busy for awhile. PET! NO visitors!"
I lay on my asbestos rug in the office and chewed on my tail, listening to the rather loud sounds of bestial lust coming from Mistress's bedroom. It's not fair! I thought. Gnaw, gnaw, gnaw, I wanted to be servicing My Mistress!
"Owoooooo!" I howled at the unfairness of it all. "Owwwooooooooo!"
"PET!" Vulva called.
"Yes Mistress?" I replied hopefully.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Vulva hissed.
"Yipe!" Gnaw, gnaw, gnaw.
The End
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