Ye Gods!
Ye Gods!
Anubis has his eye set on a very unlikely partner and plans to have her one way or another--if she doesn't kill him first.
Disclaimer: This is a work of pornography between two consenting heterosexual adults of a furry nature. No likie, no readie. No minors, please.
A few notes, for those who have no knowledge of the Egyptian pantheon, or just need a refresher course:
Anubis: erroneously called the God of Death (that honor goes to Osiris), this jackal-headed deity is actually the god of embalming and mummification. It was his celestial duty to "weigh the heart" of the deceased to determine if they passed on into paradise, or were condemned to damnation.
Thoth: ibis-headed god of writing and magic; he is credited with the invention of hieroglyphics, and was the official "accountant" in the Hall of Judgment who recorded the results of the Weighing of the Heart ceremony.
Sekhmet: lion-headed goddess of war, plague, and general violence. Her creation story is pretty complicated, but I've paraphrased the myth in the main body of the story. She's said to be the representation of the negative energies of the Sun (scorching heat, wildfires, etc.). She's also got a reputation for inflicting horrible diseases on her enemies. But otherwise, she's very nice.
Ammut: Probably the first representation of a "hell mouth" in mythology. This monster had the body of a hippopotamus, the forelegs and mane of a lion, and the head of a crocodile; Ammut devoured the hearts of unworthy souls, thus erasing them forever, which was quite possibly the worst fate the ancient Egyptians believed in.
Apis: or Apis Bull. A literal holy cow that was worshipped in what is today known as Luxor; Egyptians considered the bull so holy, every time one died it was mummified and buried with all the pomp and circumstance of a pharaoh.
Set: The god of Storms, the Desert, and Chaos, who in a plot similar to Hamlet and The Lion King, murdered his brother Osiris to gain control of the throne, only to be thwarted in battle by his nephew, Horus (Scholars believe this myth is actually the basis of both aforementioned stories). Has the body of a man but the head of an unknown animal; archaeologists still aren't sure exactly what the hell he is. Google it.
And yes, "HUGE...tracks of land!" is a Monty Python reference. Enjoy!
Another day, another in-and-out, run of the mill nine-to-fiver where his primary duties involved weighing the hearts of the dead against a feather--a freaking feather--and chucking the guilty ones over to Ammut to consume.
It was all in a day's work for Anubis.
He hated the Island of Fire, which is what mortals decided to name their underworld. Sure, the jackal could think of no better inspiration for Hell than the Sahara. Pure brilliance. It's a wonder Ra put up with it all. Okay, he granted that maybe the life of a Death God must sound glamorous, but for the love of Ra, you'd think it'd be less dull...
Anubis pulled the next "dead beat" (as he preferred calling them) into the Hall of Judgment. The poor mortal looked utterly terrified; good, the jackal thought, he should be.
"Heart?"
"Uh, um...what?"
Anubis sighed, holding out a black-furred hand. "Give me the heart."
The dead soul shuffled a bit, wondering where he put it while Anubis tapped his sandaled foot impatiently. If only he had to power to smite souls that made him wait too long. Come on, the entire culture just about revolved around death, you'd think they would be more prepared. Easy, dog, he told himself. He's young, probably a worker, wife, young kids...oh hell, go ahead and ask him...
"So how'd you go?"
"P-pardon?"
Anubis snapped his fingers in quick staccato. "Come on, kid, while I'm young. How did you die?"
"Snakebite."
"Ah. Ankle?"
"Y-yes."
"Nervous?"
"V-very."
"Couldn't tell," the jackal said dryly, arching an eyebrow. "Tribunal went well?" The tribunal he spoke of was the final step for the deceased to make it into the Hall of Judgment. The deceased person needed to go through seven stages: first, they had to cross the celestial river to "The Land of the West" (aka, where Anubis lived and worked), then they needed to pass through different gates and labyrinths by answering riddles and such--it was ridiculously simple, really. The Book of the Dead they were buried with usually got them through.
Not so simple was facing the Tribunal, the court of the underworld. There, the soul had to answer for all his or her sins, usually in the format of "I have never stolen anything, I have never killed anyone, I have never walked in on my parents having sex," et cetera. Anubis was glad he didn't have that job. All day, that's all the Tribunal of twelve had to listen to, the things people swore they did not do. Most of it was complete bullshit, and ever since his first Apis Festival, the jackal-headed god hated bullshit.
The jackal inwardly shrugged. He liked his job, most days. Usually, there was always at least one person whose heart was too heavy with his sins, and they got devoured by the monster Ammut, which was always entertaining.
The human nodded. "I think so...um, may I ask you a question, O Mighty Anubis?"
"Shoot."
"Are you always so...cordial?"
"You caught me on a good day."
Next on the agenda: weighing of the heart. Sometimes, in slow years--years without wars--all the court got were the light-hearted people. Usually peasants; nice folks, peasants were, and Anubis liked them well enough. The rich and powerful people pissed him off the most; it was never a bad thing to see their asses get roasted.
Now, to see how this guy did.
Anubis took the heart out of its protective jar and laid it on one balance. Ma'at, on the other side, plucked the Feather of Truth from the top of her head and laid it on the opposite balance. The heart of the deceased was weighed against Ma'at's feather of truth; if a heart was lighter than the feather, then the person had led a good life and could cross over into the afterlife, but if the heart was heavier than the feather...Ammut waited with hungry devotion like a dog waiting for scraps to fall from the table. Anubis waited until the ibis-headed god Thoth stood at the ready with his papyrus scroll and let the balance holding the heart drop.
The balance holding the feather hit the stone floor with a resounding clank.
"Well I'll be damned," the jackal said.
The human looked as surprised as the gods did. Ma'at huffed and picked up her feather, crossing her arms. Thoth shrugged and jotted down the results. Anubis sighed and handed the man his heart in a jar.
"Okay, swell. You passed. Now off you go to meet Osiris and onto the Fields of the Reed and all that jazz, you dig?"
"Um, what?"
"Just get outta here."
"You've been in an awfully bad mood lately; when was the last time you got any?" Thoth said later, after quitting time. Being a death god required a job working nights, and since it was daylight in the mortal realm, the two gods decided to hit back a few goblets and relax in the jackal's suite. Already on his third cup, Anubis cursed and drained it. "Damn it, why is Sekhmet the only one who can get drunk in this damn pantheon?"
"Anu, do you remember just how much she actually drank?"
"Oh yeah, I remember--I didn't want to be her with that hangover."
"As I recall, you had a hand in that."
Anubis smirked, "So did Hathor--I don't think I've ever seen her laugh so hard. Sure, Sekhie's got a temper worse than Set's, but damn if she isn't a funny drunk!"
Thoth didn't need to remind him that the events gearing up to the aforementioned public inebriation were anything but "funny". Ra had dictated one day that, because the mortals had ceased respecting his authority as the king of the gods, they deserved one hell of a divine ass-whoopin'. So he created Sekhmet, the lion-headed goddess of war, to rain down vengeance on all their sorry asses. It was a pretty straight-forward plan, and relatively foolproof. That is, until Sekhmet developed an unquenchable taste for human blood. Ra turned his back for one moment, one stinkin' moment, and nearly half of Egypt had been killed. Realizing that perhaps he'd jumped the longbow a bit too far, he called upon his fellow gods to create a plan to stop the bloodbath before every single mortal was annihilated. Anubis had been the one to come up with the plan to get her remarkably drunk by disguising beer as blood. When Sekhmet saw a big pool of "blood" she greedily drank it up, and eventually became so drunk she passed out. It wasn't much of a plan, he admitted, but hey, it worked. And in fact, his plan had certain...perks.
"Bit of a horny drunk at that," the ibis-headed god muttered into his goblet.
"Not that that's an entirely bad thing; it worked out for Ptah."
"Of course it worked out for Ptah--he married her."
"Lucky bastard," the jackal griped.
Thoth cleared his throat and set his wine goblet down. "Yeah...about that..."
"About what?"
"Anu, you didn't hear the news?"
"Set's trying to take over Egypt again?" Anubis asked.
"Well, yes..." the ibis said. "But when is he not?"
"Point."
"No, listen..." he hesitated, as if by imparting this news would cause sky serpent Apep to finally swallow the sun and end the world. "Ptah and Sekhmet are getting divorced."
Anubis almost dropped his goblet in shock. Divorce was not unheard of--hell, Isis was married to Set for a short time before she met his brother...and some theorized that's why Set really killed Osiris (not a hard thing to believe, because Isis made the goddess of beauty, Hathor, look like a crone). Mortals routinely divorced if marriages did not work out, most often because of infidelity. But when a god got divorced...that was huge. And the fact that Ptah and Sekhmet, a couple so devoted to each other they made Isis and Osiris look like love-struck teenagers...
"When? How long have you known?"
"I just found out," the ibis-headed god said. "Horus told me, though he didn't appear as shocked as he should be, considering."
"Depends on why they're separating," the jackal said.
Now Thoth fell silent, picking at the grain on his chair's arm rest.
"What do you know?" Anubis asked.
"It's not my place..."
"Did she sleep with someone else?" Anubis bluntly asked.
"Er, no...Ptah did. With the High Priestess in her temple in Memphis."
"Wait," Anubis gaped. "He was unfaithful? He's supposed to stand for good moral order!"
Thoth shrugged. "The High Priestess apparently has a nice rack."
"Had a nice rack, if I know my little Sekhie," a smooth feminine voice said. Anubis groaned again and hid his face in his hands. Most men moved out of their parents' home when they were grown and had their own jobs and lives. But Isis was one of those mothers that just did not let anything lie; she loved her children to the point of smothering, which Horus loved, and which Anubis hated. When their father Osiris offered him a job as the god of embalming and judge of the dead, the jackal jumped at the chance because his mother was not likely to join them in the Judgment Hall. Isis wasn't bad...but she was a hell of a gossip. Nothing in Egypt, Heaven or Earth ever happened without her knowing about it. And now that she was visiting him in his chambers--
He stopped and sat up a little straighter. His mother never visited unless he invited her (which was rare). In fact, not even Hathor spoke to him that often. And then it hit him: the only reason she had to be there was if she was setting him up. Setting him up with a recent leonine divorcee, for example...
Anubis sighed, knowing full well that if he refused, he would be asking for it later. "What does having a nice rack have anything to do with it?"
"It has everything to do with it," Isis nodded at her eldest son. Then she smiled, "And do you know what this means, Anpu?"
"Don't call me that."
"That means she's free, and you can finally go on a date! It's just not right for a man your age to not have a woman in his life."
"Is everyone forgetting she's my first cousin?" the jackal asked.
Thoth nudged him, "Face it, Anu, this pantheon's family tree is more messed-up than the Greeks', and changes about once a dynasty. By the next dynasty, for all we know, you could be married to Nut, who's technically your great-grandmother."
Anubis visibly shuddered, and remembered why he liked punishing mortals so much. "Okay, so say I go down to comfort her," he said with a pointed look at his mother, who bore a mock-innocent look on her lovely face, "to help her through this trying time...that's all I'm going to do. I don't want Ptah pissed at me if the divorce isn't final--"
"Oh it's final, all right," said Isis. "Judging by the amount of pottery she threw at him and that horrible skin-eating disease she gave the priestess, I wager that ended the marriage pretty fast."
"Well, at least she only threw pottery." Technically, gods couldn't die like mortals could, but the fact Sekhmet could have used spears, swords, or worse implements of death and torture and instead used pottery as a weapon meant that, while she was righteously pissed, she didn't actually want to hurt Ptah...not completely.
"So...I'm guessing I'll catch her in Memphis?"
The Temple of Sekhmet was not the most glorious of Egypt's divine abodes, but, Anubis thought, you definitely knew who lived here the moment you stepped on their territory. Hundreds of statues of the lion goddess stood around the grounds; in some, she was depicted standing with a spear, in others, she was sitting, holding an ankh. Her duplicity: healer, and destroyer. Maker and Slayer. The one who almost single-handedly wiped out mankind.
And Anubis got boners just thinking of her. Yeah, he knew he was a pretty sick pup.
How could he not be attracted to her, though? He wasn't the only single male in the pantheon who wept when he heard she was getting married. Those tears quickly turned to "what-the-fucks" when they heard she was marrying Ptah. He was a mummy-man, for Ra's sake! She could have done a lot better than that, and she probably knew it. How and why she stayed with him for so long, Anubis would never know.
Further down the Eastern bank of the Nile stood Ptah's temple, and even further down was the Grand Temple of the Apis Bull. Anubis smiled half-heartedly. The Apis festival was Sekhmet's favorite, and his, too, mostly because she could get ludicrously drunk. And like he said, she was a funny drunk.
And judging by the open barrels of beer and wine in the sanctuary, he suspected that was exactly what she was trying to do. He ignored the temple priests and stepped inside the inner sanctum, up to the altar and through a spiritual passageway to Sekhmet's quarters, where he found her lounging on her bed, staring into the flames of a fire pit.
She was a marvel, slim but curvy right where she needed to be, wearing a red linen shift that hugged her body in all the right places. Despite her gloriously beautiful feminine appearance, she was stronger than any man Anubis had ever known. Covered in lean, taut muscles sculpted from eons of vicious blood-soaked battles, she was known to beat Horus at arm wrestling, and kick Set's ass whenever he tried to usurp Ra's power...which was pretty often. And the jackal loved that about her. He loved that she wasn't a meek woman; she would take up a sword and run headlong into battle at a moment's notice, opening up jar after jar of whoop-ass on Hittites, Assyrians and whoever else was stupid enough to invade.
But right now she looked like a sad little kitten, with hardly any trace of the fierce lioness that she was. She lounged on a setee, staring red-eyed into the brazier as papyri - he assumed documents having to do with Ptah - flared up into smoke and ash. He had seen that look before on mortals: he had seen it on the faces of old mothers, and men who had died far away from their wives and families. He had seen it in children who had been called away to the Land of the Dead too soon, and on the faces of pharaohs who had died before their beloved queens: it was heartbreak.
He approached her bed and opened his mouth to speak...only managing to let out a strained, unmanly squeal when the lioness whipped out a sword and pointed it right at a certain vital area.
"Uh...Sekhie? I kinda need that." He gulped, looking down at the flashing sword pointing right at his kilt.
Sekhmet looked up, gasped and dropped the sword. "Anu!" Much to his surprise, she launched herself at him, throwing her arms around him. "Thank Amun it's you! If it had been Isis or Hathor, I would've laid this city to waste."
"I'm surprised you haven't already done that to Ptah's temple."
"Don't worry, that's next."
He sighed and hugged her back, rubbing her back. He felt guilty, and he shouldn't have, because technically she was on the market again. But she had just gotten divorced and been betrayed by a man she had loved...for some strange, ungodly reason. What the hell had she seen in him?
"I'm sorry I threatened your junk," she said.
"That's okay," he said, even though it really wasn't. "If Ptah had cheated on me, I probably would have tried to do that too." Then he winced as soon as he realized what he'd said. Why hello, Mouth; have you met Mr. Foot?
Sekhmet, however, just smiled at him. "You know, that's the one thing I always liked about you, Anu--you don't bullshit anyone."
"I'm a death god," he shrugged. "I hate it when people try to bullshit me. It's like a universal rule, or something...don't bullshit others if you don't want them to bullshit you."
The lion goddess sighed and sat on her bed, staring down at her wine goblet. "I'm actually really glad you came down here. I kind of have a little proposition for you."
"Does this have anything to do with why Mom wanted me to come see you?"
"Yes."
"Does she expect me to have sex with you?"
"Yes."
"And you're okay with that?"
"Yes."
"So I'm your rebound? Is that it? Not that I'm complaining--not really--but I'm a bit hurt."
"Anubis," she said with strained patience. "I'd actually thought about...us...before I met Ptah. I thought about us having a chance, as far back as the time I went on that genocidal rampage."
Anubis stared incredulously. "That long ago? Damn it, woman, why didn't you say anything?!"
"Because at the time, we were siblings, according to the mortals' version of the family tree," she sighed.
"That would put a damper on sexy time."
"Yes it would. Fortunately they changed the family tree rules about mid-last dynasty, so now we're only distant cousins."
"I thought we were first cousins?"
"Oh, who the hell keeps track anymore?" She flicked her kohl-rimmed eyes up at him. "Are you okay with being my rebound?"
"Sekhmet, you're not asking me--you're telling me--to have sex with you. I'm more than okay with it."
The lioness smiled coyly. "That's what I thought you'd say." She stood and threw her goblet aside, striding over to him and grabbing him by the jeweled collar he wore. When she crushed her lips against his, Anubis was--ironically--in heaven. Sekhmet's lips were hot and moist, hungrily seeking him. He gasped a little when she ran her tongue across his lips, gently seeking entry. That was unlike her, he thought, as she usually took things she wanted without so much as a--
"Wow, hello!" he breathlessly gasped when her hand cupped his package. "Damn, you don't fool around, do you?"
"I'm as desperate for this as you are, I'm sure," she purred. "But there's something you must do for me that Ptah almost never did." The lioness drew closer and whispered in his ear, her hot breath like desert winds ruffling his fur, "I want you to worship me."
Worship? What did she mea...oh. Oh, well, that wasn't too hard, he figured. Nodding, he tore off his headdress and slowly knelt before her. He nuzzled her flat stomach as his hands massaged her hips and thighs. Daring to do a little more, he wrapped his arms around and took hold of her backside, squeezing and rubbing in slow, sensual strokes. Sekhmet rubbed behind his ears and purred as he began to give her attention, and she smiled when he slowly began to lift her dress hem. He kissed up her legs with every inch the dress revealed, higher and higher, until it finally revealed that area he desperately wanted.
She sighed when he moved his face closer to inhale her scent, spicy and rich like sandalwood and myrrh. He flicked his eyes up her body, silently begging to continue. The hand on the back of his head guided him closer to her nether regions and without further direction he nudged his muzzle between her legs and gave her a long, slow lick.
Sekhmet gasped above him, wobbling a bit as pleasure surged up her body. He grabbed hold of her ass again to keep her steady as he took another taste...and another...and another... Great Ra this was better than he had ever had! Her taste was marvellous, a sweet tanginess like a pomegranate and nectar that flowed from her and right onto his tongue. She gasped and moaned above him, breathing harder under his attentions.
Anubis smiled at the grin on her face, that cat-caught-the-ibis grin; hell, he would be more than happy to be that bird caught in her claws! He dove in deeper, using his hands to part her legs further apart and sticking his tongue between her folds and thrusting up into her body.
"Oh gods, Anu..." she breathed. "Ah...more..."
He licked up the length of her slit and stuck his tongue in between her folds again, then he moved away a little, his tongue flicking out over her clit. Her body shuddered and jerked suddenly from the shock of pleasure, and the lioness let out a wordless cry. Anubis did it again, switching from quick little flicks of the tongue to long, slow laps before closing his lips around the throbbing nub and gently sucking on it. This drove her wild, and she grabbed a handful of the fur on the back of his head and pulled hard; it hurt like hell, but the delighted shriek above his head was totally worth it.
"Oh fuck, Anubis..." she breathed. "Enough...get on the bed..."
He actually didn't want to get up. He was perfectly fine with licking her until she came, but Sekhmet apparently had other plans. Anubis stood and let out a surprised bark when she grabbed his belt and yanked hard. His kilt fell from his hips to reveal the prize she sought...and she liked what she saw. Or the jackal hoped she did - he didn't think that smile on her face could mean anything else but that she was impressed.
"Gods..." she sighed. "Not even Ptah was this big." The lioness looked back at him. "Lie down on the bed."
"I thought you wanted me to worship you."
"You will. Lie down."
Well, he wasn't about to argue any longer. His cock was already erect just from hearing her moans and tasting her sweet juices. But it wasn't until he laid down and saw her seductively removing her dress that his cock hardened almost painfully. Though her normal clothes barely left anything to the imagination (something about Egyptian women's clothing he particularly loved), but Sekhmet's wardrobe hid more than he expected. For one thing, that High Priestess had to have had one hell of a rack to make Ptah choose her over his own wife. Sekhmet's breasts were round, full and firm and they were...what was the euphemism Thoth used? Oh, right: "HUGE...tracks of land".
The jackal was ready to plow those tracks of land the first chance he got. I'm about to get fucked senseless by a sexy lioness and I'm thinking about farming? What the fuck is wrong with me?
Sekhmet tore off her own headdress, allowing her natural golden hair run down her back in waves and curls, a mane worthy of any lion. She had been blessed with the finest curves Anubis had ever seen - thank you, Ra! - round full breasts and wide hips and a trim waist...not tiny by any means, but not fat, not that he would have cared! The lion goddess climbed onto the bed after him and straddled his thighs. Staring down at him with a coy smile on her lips, she leaned down to kiss him, murring as she tasted herself on his tongue. When she pulled away, she whispered, "I will have to return the favor..."
"We've got all night," he reminded her. "...Right?"
Sekhmet smirked. "We do...and I don't intend to let you sleep through any of it. But first..." she shifted forward and lifted her hips. She grasped his hard member and guided it to her dripping folds, glistening with her juices and his saliva. Positioning his tip right at her entrance, she sank down onto him without another word. Except for a load "Oh!", of course.
Anubis immediately latched his hands onto her hips, groaning as her tight, wet heat enveloped his thick cock. She was much tighter than he expected her to be, and, if her expression was any clue, he was much bigger than she expected.
"Oh Great Ra, Anubis!" she gasped. It didn't take long for her to start riding him, first gently rocking her hips back and forth, but she quickly grew tired of this and with a growl began to ride him very forcefully. He didn't mind. The jackal had half-expected her to start fucking him into the next century, and he wasn't sure if he - or his cock - could handle it. She was intimidating, he was man enough to admit that! But it felt so amazing to be surrounded by her, he had no words to describe it because, quite frankly, he was thinking with his other head at that moment.
Sekhmet sped up her downward thrusting to meet his upward thrusts. Their hips slammed into each other, his cockhead hitting her cervix enough to make her wince a few times, but this was quickly replaced by the pleasure of his hands cupping her ass and then moving up her body to cup her large breasts. She pressed her palms against his chest as she rode him faster, groaning as he cupped, squeezed and massaged her breasts while meeting her thrusts with his own.
Anubis wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her down to kiss her, then kissed down her neck until he reached his true destination, and immediately latched onto her nipple, sucking and gently nibbling on it. Sekhmet shrilly gasped and humped him faster, loudly vocalizing how much she enjoyed this attention. He swirled his tongue around the first nipple before latching onto the other one and sucked hardly against it, flicking his tongue over it just as he had done to her clit. She had closed her eyes in bliss, and the speed and friction from her fucking him was making his knot swell to a size he didn't know he was capable of. Her gasps and delighted cries were another thing helping his quick ascent to ecstasy, but it wasn't until she sat up and leaned back that he was treated to a truly arousing sight.
The sight of her tits bouncing as she thrust down onto his cock, plus seeing his thick cock disappearing into her body then reappearing with each hip movement, plus the desperate lust in her eyes was enough to make him come, and fill her with as much of his seed as he could. But he wasn't ready if she wasn't. So he met her halfway.
He reached up to squeeze one of her breasts, and reached the other hand down to where their bodies connected. The minute he pressed his thumb against her throbbing clit, Sekhmet let out a yowl and shrieked, "YES, fuck, Anubis, that's it!"
Had he the presence of mind to smile, he would have, but he was trying to focus on holding off on his own pleasure just as he was hell bent on getting her to come for him. So he rubbed her, harder than he probably should have - he briefly wondered if he was hurting her by the way she screamed - and as he rubbed her with his thumb, she rode him harder and faster, slamming their hips together as she leaned back to give him better access to her clit...
Then she let out a shriek that turned into a fearsome roar, slamming her hips down one last time as her body shuddered and jerked uncontrollably. He didn't know how long she had been screaming with pleasure like that, but he came soon after, holding her hips still as he thrust his cock into her once, twice, thrice before he thrust his knot into her. He wasn't sure, but he guessed by how hard her walls throbbed and tightly gripped him that she had come a second time, letting out a sharp cry of pleasure and then a purr as he emptied himself into her.
Sekhmet let out a long sigh and collapsed on top of him, too overcome from her orgasms to offer any intellectual responses. "Fuck, that was wonderful..." she said breathlessly.
"Oh my gods, yeah," he agreed, wrapping his arms around her. His cock was still buried deep within her tight slit, their hot, sweaty bodies locked together...for probably a good hour or so. He really didn't fucking care.
Sekhmet's golden yellow hair was a tangled mess, but the sleepy look in her eyes and the satisfied smile on her face made her look more beautiful than he had ever seen her. "Gods, Anu, thank you..."
He took a deep breath - still panting from exertion - and replied, "You, ma'am, are more than welcome."
"No, really, I mean it. I haven't been fucked like that since before Ptah."
"Stroke my ego, why don't you?"
"I'll be stroking something, alright," she lustily replied. "As soon as I can get your cock out of me, I'll suck you off until you can't give any more."
Anubis hesitated, then said, "Why do I get the feeling I won't be in at work tomorrow?"
Sekhmet nuzzled under his chin and smiled, purring, "Because I'm not letting you get away until I worship you."
"Hey, you survived!" Thoth said the next day. Anubis glared at him and gingerly sat down at the senet board with him. The ibis-headed god arched a brow and asked, "Rough night...or day?"
"Long night...and day."
"Are you really one to complain?"
"Fuck no."
"Didn't think so." The bird set up the game board for the two of them to play. "I covered for you at the Hall of Judgment."
"What'd you tell them?"
"That you were getting fucked senseless by Sekhmet."
"So much for your legendary eloquence."
"Don't worry so much; Osiris let you off the hook because, lets face it, anyone would tap that. Even the women want her. And when it all comes down to it, everyone got what they wanted."
"Except Ptah."
Thoth shrugged, "Meh, he made his bed."
"I had the sheets washed, by the way..."
"I didn't need to know that, but thank you."
"So I got sex," Anubis said as he picked up a piece to begin the game between them. He was exhausted from all the romps with the leonine goddess of war, and knew he'd have to pay back Thoth somehow for covering for him.
The ibis nodded. "You got sex, your mother finally saw you go on a date, and Sekhmet certainly got what she wanted, if you did indeed have as much sex as I think."
Anubis smirked proudly, "I'll say she did."
"Good!" Thoth grinned. "So when's she due?"
Anubis's game piece clattered to the floor. "...Due?"
"Yes, due. As in, when is she having the..." Thoth stalled when he saw that the jackal had paled a bit. "Oh. Um, I guess this is a bad time to mention she was in heat..."