FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Chapter 1

Act 1

****

Everyone is gone, it's all gone. Wake up... Wake up... Wake up Wake up Wake up WAKE U-

It's a dull day, my eyes flutter open to the screaming of an alarm. I reach over, smacking the top three times until I hit the button. I lie in the silence for a while, listening to the soft patter of rain outside, I look outside my apartment window, if it weren't for the alarm I would have still thought it was night time with how grey and cloudy it is.

I felt at ease, the rain has always been nice, I like the feeling of the water dampening my fur, it lets me breathe and block out all other noises in the world. Focusing only on the sound of precipitation.

I have to get up, I start class in 2 hours, I kick myself out of my bed and look around the room, it has a slight musky smell, I forgot to have a shower last night is why. I grab a bottle of deoderant off my bedside table and spray it in the air for a second. I walk over to the drawer and pull out some clothes, a creased up blue T-Shirt and tanned brown shorts. It's good enough, I change out of my underwear and change into a fresh set of them before pulling on the rest of my clothes and making my way out of my apartment. I consider getting something to eat before I go, but I'm not feeling all too hungry. The walk is nice and I feel like I can breathe with the beautifully chilly wind of the rainy weather. I smile slightly, making my way across the campus, eventually approaching a building, this was where I was to get some kind of lecture again.

Matthias

I hate lectures.

I take a deep breath and shake the water out of my fur as I rush into the building before more water can dampen my fur, two other students were inside chatting to one another as they waited for their professor to arrive, I had another hour and thirty minutes before I even had to be here, but I have nowhere else to be. I never really looked around my class that much, I was way too quiet to ever pay attention to anyone around me or their appearance. I just kept to myself, hunched over and staring at the floor. As I sat at my desk I stared at my phone while more people came in. Some looked at me curiously or confused, must be because of my soaked up fur. I could have bought an umbrella like a smart person but that would be stupid. I wanted to get drenched. It's fun.

I sit in the class as the professor slides through all sorts of information about the animation pipeline. I'm not a talented artist so I never was that interested in this stuff, but it has some relevance to my interest in acting.

The class finally finishes and I am one of the first people out of the classroom, fur getting dripping wet immediately as the rain ran down my body, I am quick to make it off campus and I turn onto the mainstreet. I start adjusting my posture to be more straight as I walk into the 'wild canine coffee shop.'

I've never been a coffee nut, I'd have a cup of it occasionally, but I simply came here because I found comfort in this place, and the Chai Latte's here are incredibly delicious. Whoever made Chai Latte's are a saint to the world. A woman walks up to me in a black t-shirt and overalls walks, a name badge reads 'Tiffany.'

Tiffany

Hey babes, how you doin' today?

Matthias

I'm alright... Yeah, tired as all hell and just had an exhausting and pointless lecture first thing in the morning.

Tiffany

Well, here, lemme buy your order today bud.

Tiffany was a white squirrel who worked at the cafe, she was around in her early fifties and is one of the nicest people I've ever met, she really listens to me and I don't feel... Ashamed or scared to show my face around her. She is a very sweet lady. Despite how little the two of us talk I find myself more comfy around her then anyone I ever have felt around before.

I need to get a job... I feel horrible leeching off the hundred my mother gives me every week.

After a while Tiffany comes back with a medium sized coffee cup. I give a warm smile to Tiffany.

Matthias

I don't deserve this, but thank you.

Tiffany

Well, how bout you do me a favour and put out some resumes.

I feel myself getting flustered and awkward.

Matthias

You're right, I just don't have many good qualities and I'm great in my field of choice. If I just keep my studies up, I might be able to get some listings out and get some voice acting gigs.

Tiffany

Hm... Well either way, you better do what you can, I hate seeing you all down like this.

I nod as Tiffany walks up with a sway in her step. I watch on a bit sadly as I finish off my drink, staring out into the rainy clouds. Far in the distance, I notice something strange standing in the midst of a crowd. They look like boy, a Hyena, they're staring at me? At least it looks that way, I could have sworn I've seen this kid somewhere before. Maybe he's in the same school as me? Most likely, why is he looking at me right now? Is he looking at me? Or is he just looking at anything else, why would anyone notice my existence? He has a lonely and distant expression, as if he's trying to dive deep into his mind and pull out some kind of memory. He looks rather upset.

I rub my eyes and when I look back, the boy standing in the rain is gone. He's walking further into the park amongst a crowd. I frown a bit more, maybe I should look out for that guy. If looking at him is giving me this sense of Deja vu.

I head back to my dingy apartment after a long day, it's four in the afternoon right now and the rain hasn't stopped once. My fur is still dripping with water and my clothes is stuck to clumps of fur because of the precipitation. I head into my bathroom carefully to not let water drip down my body and when I get into the shower I start scrubbing my fur clean with as much soap as I can. I feel so dirty and I have no clue why, as I get out I grab a brush, gently running it through the fur on my cheeks and neck down my stomach. I can't be bothered to care too much on grooming myself most times, I never have a reason to look 'presentable.'

Finally dried off, I look around my dark, gloomy and utterly depressing apartment. Not even the sunlight can give a bit of light, I glide across my room butt naked, this is my home. I can be as nude as I so please. I pull out and sit in my rickety blue office chair, everytime I sit in it I feel as if it's about to break under my bulk. I boot up the laptop on my desk. It's a crummy old laptop and it can't run a single decet game without it blowing up the entire laptop itself. I click around the screen for a bit and scroll through a heap of articles on different subjects I need to study for. Everything feels gross and boredom overtakes me greatly. I find myself getting sidetracked with youtube videos more then once. I feel myself feeling a bit tingly and anxious, quickly tapping on anything I can find to mindlessly dumb myself out of existence for the rest of the day. I should be browsing through trying to find a job and a way to make money. I have quite the voice, and quite the acting talent. Ever since I was a child I was obsessed with acting and playing into characters I'd make. It was always such a joyous activity and eventually it kind of became a skill of mine, I was always too insecure and emotionally anxious for any of it for other people so I kept it to myself, this... Is something I'll have to conquer if I want to even try and last in the acting industry but I can worry about that later. Several hours pass and my clock now reads it is eight at night, I pull on some underwear and then I walk over to a lower cupboard, pulling out an old rice cooker I got from my parents when they bought a new one. I had good knowledge on how to cook for myself enough to not live a majorly unhealthy lifestyle. So that was good, I just always struggled with my physical and social skills.

As I wait on the rice to cook, I start pulling out different items I had bought from the store along with a heap of spices sitting in the back of my cupboard. Chicken, Onion, Greek Yogurts, garlic, cream and sugar along with a few other things. I start cutting the chickens into chunks, beginning to make a marinade out of the Yogurt and some of the spices. Putting on some gloves I roll the chicken into the marinade. I start mixing together a curry with ingredients, dicing up onions as I feel my eyes hurt in the back of my skull, trying to ignore it I quickly dump the onions into a pan and start frying them. I start adding garlic, ginger and other spices, I add the chicken and marinade gently and it starts making a mix of unappealing smells into one incredibly appetising scent that assaults my sensitive wolf nose. I start mixing butter into it, the thing that makes the chicken curry into a butter chicken curry. It's aromas is completely breathtaking and I'm so excited to eat. The satisfying sound of the curry stirring together makes me smile warmly at my freshly cooked meal. I always feel good making something for myself, one of my only good parts of my life. I have't eaten anything at all for the day either. Time to feast upon this absolute beast of a meal. I've always had an obsession over many foods. Butter chicken curry, has been one of them since I was a child. I grab a rice spoon from a drawer and remove the lid of the rice cooker, the steam makes my face feel warm and I feel the vapour dampen my fluff. Scooping the sticky rice, cooked loose enough to allow the rice to let air seep through them and give an even better texture to it. I've always been a huge stickler for texture. Some foods I simply can't enjoy because of the textures of them. Like most fruits, apples when they for some weird fucking reason feel crumbly when you take bite out of it. Why and how does that even happen? Oh well doesn't matter, I'm scooping out a few spoons of curry and put my dish to the side. My stomach is growling like a monster, I've been starving all day. I usually have alright eating habits but there comes a day I just feel my most unmotivated, as I start packing the rest of the food into containers, my mind wanders back to the brown hyena boy I saw in the park staring at me. His expression... It was so lost and confused, like he was trying to remember something, reaching into his brain for a memory. I snap out of it, gliding across the room, my slim and slightly muscled body has a sudden ache and it just makes me feel miserable out of nowhere. I sit in my bed, grabbing a wireless mouse from my desk, flicking on a tv that is connected to my laptop. It's a nice makeshift setup, HDMI cord plugged into my laptop connected to a bigger tv screen. I start going back to my depressing cycle of rotting my brain with bullshit nonsense. I could be doing important things like studying right now, but what's the point in that? I can't be bothered right now. I finish eating, it's now nine PM and I put my bowel on my drawer and lay down, snuggling into bed, I feel weirdly gross and the rain outside has still refused to cease. Wow I hope it disappears soon not gonna lie. I slide my underwear off and kick it off my bed, much more comfy and I am feeling myself drift away to sleep.

****

You can fight it off all you want, but you won't win in the end... I wish you luck in your journey boy.

Chapter 1

Act 2

Matthias

AgH!

I'm shaken awake and feel my body damp in sweat. Was I having a fever? What was that dream? I can hardly even recall what just happened.

I reach deep into my mind trying to clutch desperately onto any fragment of whatever the hell I just dreamed about....... Lost it........ I sigh softly and kick myself up out of bed, groaning and nearly tripping over my own feet and face planting. I catch myself on my windowsill and readjust my orientation and start walking again. I make my way into the kitchen, the lights are out and I try flipping the switch.

Powers out, great, but the storm is gone now so it surely must be coming back soon. As I feel around in the darkness, my eyes start adjusting better and I clutch onto the glass, I never had much trouble with seeing in the dark as a kid, but as I grew older my uncanny strong wolf sight kind of died down. Maybe that's a reflection of my horrible mental lifestyle, eh it's not like I needed it 'that' much.

I'm filling the glass with water and once I feel the water spilling out and flowing down my paws I turn the water off, pouring a bit of excess and take a sip, walking back to my bedroom. My old crummy college apartment isn't much to marvel at. I could have lived on campus but, it's way too close to other people for my liking. And I like a little bit of space in my room even if this is not much better. I feel horrible leaching off my mother to pay rent and other things, maybe I should get a job. Yeah I'll get around to handing out resumes next week, ugh I wish I was a kid again, no more of this independence etc. I could handle the bullying if it meant never becoming like this.

As I'm about to leave the kitchen the lights turn back on again, guess the power arrived on time. I flip the switch on my left to turn them back off, heading into my room and sitting on my bed, I almost trip again over my underwear I dumped on the floor and feel disgusted, god I am SUCH a slob. I've always been personal hygiene freak but I've always struggled to care about my environment. I'll have to start out tomorrow evening after classes. I sit on my bed and scull the last of the water, panting to catch my breath after it. I place the cup on my bed and check my alarm clock.

4:38 PM, the clock reads, I accidentally switched AM and PM when I got it a year ago and have not bothered to change it since. I'm practically asleep before I know it feel a slight smile on my face knowing I'm free from whatever weird nightmare I couldn't remember just happened.

It's a sunny day today, the rain is gone and I see puddles trailing down the road from my window, I can see other students heading in the direction of the campus which isn't far from my apartment, about a seven minute walk. I pull myself back to reality and walk to my bathroom, instantly getting in the shower and changing into some fresher clothes then yesterday, much less creased at least. I creep out of the apartment and swiftly speed down the hall before anyone else can come out to see me. As much as I loved the rain it always left me feeling more unmotivated and gloomy, guess that's a common trope with rain. I walk down the street, making sure to avoid any puddles as I don't feel up to getting my foott fur soaked in water right now. I walk onto the campus with a small bag strapped around my shoulder and check my phone, First class starts in ten minutes. I never understood the point of having to go through any more other subjects when my major was in arts, or more specifically film and acting, anything in that calibre.

I get through the day rather smoothly and by the time my last class is coming up at 2:00 PM, my major class. I get in and get to my seat, hunching over and pulling out my notes hoping noone pays any mind to me. There are only twelve people in this class, I think? I don't know I never really counted or paid attention to ANY of them. I look up slightly and notice someone familiar. Across the room a hyena is sitting there, the same one standing in the rain looking at me, why was he suddenly so invested in me yesterday? He's in my class? How did I never notice him? Am I really THAT oblivious. I am about to begin looking around my class for like, the first time in my life before the professor walks in and begins the class.

Professor

Now... Before I let you all go, I have news that there a HUGE opportunity coming up, not only is it your task for this semester but it is also going to be part of a competition to help you kickstart a career in the films industry. We want groups of young students to work together to make a short film of sorts, you're allowed up to five people to work together or you can simply make it by yourself, any medium is fine, whether it's animation, which I wouldn't hugely recommend but more power to you, or anything. Your film can be of any genre, but keep it appropriate, we permit you to have mature themes but keep it under control. Your project must also be an 30 minutes long at max and 10 minutes at minimum, so you have a LOT of room to make something great. We wish luck to all of you, you have until the end of the semester, so about a solid eighteen weeks.

Something about this feels rather unfair, how is an introverted fuck like myself meant to do this? Where is the fairness in this project. Ugh great.

I'm about to feel myself tear up from an oncoming wave of stress that this is now what I'll have to deal with when I take a deep breath and stand to leave quickly.

I get into a nearby bathroom and start feeling my throat tighten in insecurity.

How the fuck am I gonna do this? It's impossible. It's impossible.

I sit there screaming in my head and even muttering the words to myself a few times, I feel my body calm down and ease itself back into relaxation, I just have to figure out something simple I can make by myself, easy. I stand up, and leave the bathroom, a sense of terror waves back into me as I am confronted by a load of talking in the halls. I hoist my bag-strap further up my shoulder and hunch over to not look noticeable, but I almost scream in terror at a hoofed hand tapping me on the back, I twist violently and see a boy, he is a purplish grey boar with a much chubbier build and is a bit taller then me. He has white scruffy hair and a grey T-Shirt, his stomach is marked with a magenta-red circle or spiral or something, I can see it slightly because his shirt is a bit too small for him. He has long black jeans with white cuffs around his ankles.

???

Hey man, your the quiet wolf guy right?

I'm feeling myself freeze, In my entire year going to this university I have barely talked to a single other student, yeah I might have said a shaky and unsure hello or sorry, but that's about it. Most people just leave me be and probably call me the introverted weirdo on campus.

Angelo

Names Angelo, and you are?

He has a surprisingly high pitched voice for someone like him, there is still a semblance of deepness and maturity to it but nonetheless he sounds louder then I expected. I swallow my spit audibly and muster out a coarse,

Matthias

Yes... Matthias.

That was way too hard then it should have been. But it felt good to finally loosen up my vocal coards today. I heard that if you don't talk much your body can adapt and forget how to talk, I doubt there's any truth to that though.

Angelo

Awesome, uh, so like, I'll just be blunt I noticed you were a tad bit quiet and lonely and figured you might struggle with this thing by yourself, so I wanted to ask if you wanted to help, I have seen posters

Me? Help with something like this? With other people, I am really tempted to agree but like, I can't do that, i can hardly look this boar in the eyes and find myself staring into his neck fiercely in an incredibly awkward way, trying to keep a shred of normalcy to the interaction. And failing miserably. How do you say no again?

Matthias

Uh... Sure...

Angelo

Amazing! Come to thirteen Opal Road, me and the others will be there.

The boar handed me a piece of paper with the address written on it. He then spins on his heel and walks down the corridor and exits the building with a skip in his step.

Maybe I can just ghost them and not go. No that'll cause me to have to explain where I was tomorrow, I shouldn't bother. Besides, this is like, a good opportunity to actually maybe open up, which despite how I act I've always wanted to do for a while, I guess I just never knew where to begin, especially considering I find myself terrified of looking at people sometimes. Besides I can even get this stressful assignment task done easily. What is there to lose? I stand up from my bed, grabbing a tan, denim, sleeveless vest and chucking it on before grabbing my shoulder bag and heading out the front door.

It's quiet, too quiet. I'm standing in front of the door on the address, it's a pretty cozy looking home in a small suburb about a 20 minutes walk away from my apartment. Good exercise from that walk, enough to last me the week I suppose. I readjust myself anxiously, scared to have to do this. This is so sudden and it's the most social I have been in an entire year, am I really ready for this? I can still go, I haven't knocked yet I can escape.

I turn swiftly and am about to leave out of anxiety when the door swings open to Angelos face.

Angelo

Hey man! How are yah? Good to see you.

I swallow in fear and turn slowly

Matthias

How did you know I was here?

Angelo

Door cam

He says this while gesturing to the doorbell next to it, a small camera sits in the middle of it. I sigh in disappointment and start walking up and enter the house, it's... Very comfortable, incredibly well lit and there is an antique looking carpet running along the main entry hall. I see a framed picture of a polite looking woman in a frilly green dress standing in a garden, looks like a relative of Angelo. As I walk through I see a room with a dinner table that looks very well kept. Near it is a shorter table with the top of it littered with a few photos of Angelos relatives, a lot of candles scattered between them, it was like some kind of memorial shrine? I felt morbidly curious but lost sight of it as we turned a corner and entered a room.

Angelo

I'm still living here with my parents at the moment. Saving up to buy my own house after I finish my degree, etcetera.

I nod along and make a noise to show I'm listening, which I was but it was hard to process his words as I was still taking in the halls with many family photos everywhere.

We eventually came upon a room, that upon Angelo pushing open, two other boys stood up from the bed they were sitting on.

One was a panther, his fur was all black everywhere, with a few, maybe four or five little white triangle markings on his cheek fur. He has a purple t-shirt with a white jacket over it and his right ear was pierced with a little tag like piercing. He had a sour attitude and stared me down hard. Something about him, was so familiar, that was when... It hit me.

I froze in anxiety and stared at the man, was this guy in our class? No way he was, I would have noticed HIM being here. It's not possible, it's FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE? Am I really that blind? Ignorant? Why had he not tried to talk to me or interact with me before?

I knew who this man was immediately.

???

Hi.

He said in a cold and grim tone, I could feel his glare burning my eyes like the blazing sun.

Angelo

This is Blake.

Blake

Matthias, been a while.

I'm terrified, I shouldn't be but... It's been like two and a half years, has he grown? Is he still as much of a jerk as he then? This is why I should pay attention around me holy shit.

???

... Hey Matthias

I looked to the other boy, still shaken up from this revelation of seeing an old bully of mine here, still kicking myself for ignoring and blocking him out of my sight so easily. The other boy was that hyena from earlier, the one who was in my class and was taking an interest, staring me down in the rain yesterday. He had a rather punk style, he had very long scruffy light brown head fur, it seemed to go down the back of his head like a slight mullet of kinds? His ears and muzzle were a darker brown and his lower arms and legs were also a dark brown fur. He had little scratch-looking stripe markings around his upper arms and legs and had dark brown jeans and a red t-shirt tucked into his pants. Something about him was so familiar to me, but also so different at the same time.

Angelo

This is Ryan, Seems you know who Blake is already as well!

Angelo is way too overjoyed about all this right now, I don't blame him it seems reasonab- WAIT A HYENA NAMED RYAN???

I feel myself about to collapse from overwhelming emotions. How did I not recognise him? It's been about eight years since I've last seen him, I didn't think I was ever going to see the man again, he has changed so much but also barely changed at all.

Matthias

RYAN? IS THAT YOU?

Ryan stumbles back a bit in confusion and then nods

Ryan

Uh... Yeah, long time no see, I'm sorry hahaha

His voice is a lot deeper then it was as kids, he always had a very squeaky voice back then, he gave a small grin and then looked surprised as I ran up to him, hugging him tightly.

Matthias

GOD I MISSED YOU SO MUCH, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? IT'S BEEN SO LONG?

Ryan

I've been in your class, watching you confused if you even knew it was me or not for a year...

... shit

Matthias

Ryan I'm so damn sorry, and I want to say I'm sorry for everything back then, or whatever it is.

I don't even realise a random stranger is behind me and a six year bully of mine to my left anymore.

Ryan

Haha, it's chill man, don't have to worry about it. It's long in the past.

That gives relief.

Angelo

You know these people?

I feel myself become a bit more unsure with myself as I remember where I am and what is happening and awkwardly reply,

Matthias

Uh... Yeah haha, me and Ryan have been friends since we were babies, we kind of lost touch with eachother around the sixth grade and like...

I felt weird, but good as well. This is the most I've talked in ages, this... I think I can get used to this... but... Blake

Matthias

And uh, Blake... He uh-

Blake

I picked on him during our six years in high school, stopped seeing the guy for a while after graduation and now we're in the same uni, going through the same major, in the same class, and now we're in the same project group. Matthias, I Still can't stand your whining loner shtick but it's best if we work together and get this project done. I'm only here anyways because Angelo is a nice guy.

I stand there, slightly shaken up, I nod slowly. Ryan looks a little bit worried and annoyed about this.

Matthias

Um... It's ok Blake, you weren't that bad to me, really.

Well that was a lie, but even then I always felt like he didn't enjoy what he did, I feel like the reason for his attitude was his environment and friends. They were all bad people, and I do remember when I started fighting back, he became really quiet and... Sort of disappeared? I wonder what happened to him for him to be here, and be acting more kinder now. Ryan's ears are perked up and he is looking at Blake carefully, is Ryan... Worried about me? That wouldn't make sense... He hated me before he left, I think.

Blake

But, do any of you little shits care to explain what we're doing here? This doesn't seem like a very suitable time and place to be discussing a 'film project' of sorts.

Angelo

Oh right, I just figured this was a good place to group up, um come on down, I got a good little setup made in the basement we can use.

We nod and follow along, Blake being the first to leave behind Angelo, Ryan in the middle and me in the back, I'm looking at the floor awkwardly now that noone is looking at me.

We arrive at the basement and creep down the stairs, once we get down we find a large and mostly empty basement. In the middle is a couch and coffee table and a projector on the coffee table. A camera sits on a bench across the room and Angelo walks over to pick it up, putting it over his neck.

Angelo

Uh ok, so now that our group is... Relatively united and introduced, seems like you three already have some... History with eachother I guess anyways.

Angelo says it in a way that sounds bit disappointed he wasn't aware of my history with Blake and Ryan. I don't know why the history was all terrible really.

Angelo

We need to come up, with a plan, I believe that... We can use this task to bond as friends and help us become comfortable with eachothers acting abilities, to make an incredible film that will let us succeed with flying colours and get us four on path to making it big in the film industry

Angelo... Is a passionate guy.

Blake

Ok now buds, so tell us, what about you? What do you do or what do you want from any of us in this.

Angelo looks around a bit awkwardly

Angelo

Well, I... I really just wanted to help us all out and like... I aspire to, I dunno, get a career in directing. It's always been a dream of mine.

Blake

Cool, so you're... Our director then? And who're the actors? Pumpkin smut mutt who everyone knows was trying to get into Raymonds pants or?

I freeze and go red as he says that.

Angelo

I-I'm so sorry I don't know who that is.

Ryan

Hey Blake, back off, whatever or whoever your talking about, it's not nice.

Matthias

NO... No it's fine, Blake, look, I'm sorry... I don't mind any of this r-really... I just I don't know.

I couldn't come up with the right words and I just sounded like a bumbling idiot.

Matthias

This is... Like the most social contact I've had in a decent while... haha... So I'm sorry if I get on your nerves n' all that.

I honestly really wanted to yell at him for what he just said... It annoyed me a lot more then I let on, but I was much too scared, unsure and in unfamiliar territory to try anything.

Matthias

I... I reckon we can just, work together and try and decide what kind of short film we should work on?

Ryan

Fuck yeah, sounds like a good plan, Angel-man or whatever, what ideas did you have?

Angelo seemed to be sweating a bit and a silence permeated for a second before he realised he was being talked to, likely confused by Ryan's nicknaming.

Angelo

Uh... Well, what kind of idea did we have? We can always make some kind of... Comedy sitcom style show? Or something along the line.

Matthias

What about a horror? Or like, a slasher horror, add a bit of mystery to it. Think about it, we make our own Scream movie, admittedly a bit shorter so not much character development can be found... But I think it could work- But uh, like... Whatever works well

I stopped myself from talking, I don't know where that came from, why would I just let my hobbies and interests spill everywhere like that good grief.

Angelo

No, no... I like that idea man, it could work out super well... We can... I dunno, add some suspense among our group of characters and just... I dunno get them axed off over the movie before a climax comes along... But... I don't think having three actors is a really 'good' idea.

Ryan

Can't you join in as well? Four could be better

Blake

He'll be behind the camera, c'mon, you know how this stuff works right?

Angelo

I... Have a lot of knowledge of filmography, It's likely best I stay behind camera and handle the behind the stage stuff.

Matthias

By yourself?

Angelo

It's not a big project, we don't need that much maintenance really... I got a lot of skills under my belt don't worry. My parents made extra sure on that.

Ryan

Speakin of, where are yah folks?

Angelo

Oh... They're out of the city for this weekend. The only reason I'm still living with them like I said is that... Uh... It's easier to do that until I'm finished college and stuff.

Maybe I should have stayed with my parents, but they live an hour drive away from my campus, and I the apartment I live in, despite being not the best, it's cheap as hell.

Blake

Well, how about we get a hold of some of the other guys n gals around campus, I know a few people in the film class who could help a bit.

Angelo

Oh for real? That'd be great? Who are they?

Blake

Some muskshit Otter named Bryson and his sister Scarlet.

Ryan

Bryson? Seriously? That guy... Gives me the creeps.

Blake

He's a nice guy, he's just a bit more introverted then most people, still doesn't mind a good chat and being behind the camera. I'm sure people like him love being behind the camera, huh Matthias?

I feel myself feeling annoyed but confused again.

Ryan

OK, this shit isn't workin out right now. How about, we all head home for a while and calm y'know? Meet back here tomorrow evening, and discuss our game of action more. Ok... It's for the best since you two seem rather apprehensive of eachother.

Matthias

No it's ok, I shouldn't have joined you guys, I can go.

Angelo

No no, you're fine Matthias, stay with us please, and Blake, you too.

Blake

... Hm, fine I'll stick around even if he's here.

So he does still hate me. He seemed so quiet the day my life changed for the better, it was like, he was scared of something.

Angelo

Alright then dudes, I'll see you all tomorrow huh? And oh, give me your phone numbers, we can keep in contact better that way!

We all exchanged numbers with eachother and left the basement, I felt relieved to breathe fresher air now.

As we left the house Angelo waved to us and Blake walked off, waving behind his shoulder and was gone. Me and Ryan stood at the porch and walked off, moving in the opposite direction of Blake.

Matthias

Um... So how have you been?

Ryan

Oh... Good... Good, great yeah.

Matthias

You seem unsure?

Ryan

Ehh well, y'know, it's been six years since I've talked to you so like... Did you seriously never notice me or did you just not want to talk to me?

Matthias

Huh? No I actually... Never noticed you... I didn't even recognise Blake or even notice he was in our school I was just that reclusive.

Ryan

So I take he was not so nice to you in high school?

Matthias

Yeah more or less, I don't really hate him though, the guy always seemed... Unsure of his actions, I'm sure he'll open up and get more used to this. Yeah...

I've never talked this much in my life. I felt happy right now... I definitely didn't regret this decision. We walked in silence for a while

Ryan

I live in the apartments down in the Mountwood area of the city.

Matthias

Oh really? That's not too far from me... I live in Rustdusk apartments.

Ryan

Oh god that hellhole???

Matthias

Well, it's cheap... And it's only a five minute walk from campus.

Ryan

Do you have a job?

Matthias

No... I'm working on it, kinda leeching off my parents a bit still, but they live way too far from campus for me to be able to get there easily almost every day.

Ryan

Ah, makes sense... I work in retail down at one of the Foxmart

I snicker

Matthias

Guess it runs in the family?

Ryans mother was a manager of one of the Foxmarts where we live, Dodgewood city.

Ryan

Hahaha... Yeah maybe... How was Willow?

Matthias

Willow? Oh... After you and your parents left, we... Like... Kind of moved away shortly afterwards, I haven't been there since we moved down here. Didn't help with any of the drama going on though. But it was better. Willow is a ghost town now though, it's just... A forgotten place of old run down buildings, empty with noone wanting to live there and them all moving closer to the city. All the industrial warehouses are no longer running and it's... Yeah...

Ryan

Oh wow... Never knew any of that, I'm... I'm sorry...

We walk for a while in silence, arriving Ryans apartments.

Ryan

Aight well this is my stop, I look forward to getting to know you again man, We've got a lot of catching up to to.

He smacks my shoulder playfully and gives me a toothy grin that looks a bit silly to me that it makes me laugh. He's always been a bit of a loud sympathetic dork.

Ryan

See yah Autumn.

... Autumn... That nickname... It's been years since I've heard that. I feel my legs quiver a bit as I can feel my eyes watering.

Not the time Matthias, get back home and you can cry there.

I start walking, lost in thought.

Besides, I doubt he actually still cares about me, he's probably scared of me, or think that all that shit was just a phase and I'm normal now.

His parents would have made sure about that.

I get back home, jumping in the shower exhausted, I dry myself off, walking past the brush, I'll fix myself up tomorrow, I need sleep. It was 10:00 AM on the alarm clock and I crawled into my bed, grabbing my phone from the bedside table.

I open my messages, I didn't have any friends to text, but now Angelo, Blake and Ryans names were all at the top of my message history. That and a group chat made for the four of us. Under them was my mother and fathers messages... And below them was Raymond.

Raymond... I pull open the message history and scroll up a bit.

June 12th 2018

Raymond - Hey Autumn, how's my bro doin?

Matthias - Good Ray, very good, how come? You need something?

Raymon - You know it, wanna get together and hang out next week? Or are you working?

Matthias - No I'm free, sure thing dude ^-^

Raymond - You got it man ????

I scroll through the message some more.

November 10th 2018

Raymond - WOOOO WOOOO AUTUMN, TODAYS THE BIG DAY, GRAD DAY, YOU FUCKIN' READY?

Matthias - HAHA, Yeah you BET I am

Raymond - OK. To celebrate our entrance into adult hood, we shall celebrate with some drinks down at the Irish-Club TONIGHT.

Matthias - I... I've never been a big fan of drinking, but it's a big day so I'll have a couple

Raymond - THAT'S MY MAN.

Haha, he taught me how to live a little, he respected me so much, but he always pushed me to be adventurous.

Febuary 2nd 2019

Matthias - Hey Raymond... It's been almost exactly three months... I really miss you... The investigation got closed... They say it was a suicide, but I don't believe them... There's no way you'd do that. I... I just... I miss you so much, why do I fuck up everything? I miss you so so much... I love you Raymond... I wish I told you that, I wish I could have been there to protect you. Even if you did kill yourself, I wish I could have been better for you. I miss you.

I start tearing up, my eyes are swelling, why hadn't I deleted him from my contacts yet. It was such a waste of time, he's... He's gone... Raymonds gone why can't I get over it. I feel so lonely. What's the point of connecting with anyone anymore... I give up, I don't want to be a pain.

Every month there is a new frantic message from me to Raymond. 'I just really hoped one day I'd see those three dots light up, I would scream in confusion and panic. Screaming, 'How is he still alive? Is this really him?' and then... you'd tell me 'you is back' and that this was all just a horrible dream. But that's not the truth. Isn't it?' I'm typing all of this to him and press send. Still no reply. I slam my phone on my bedside table hard enough to show my anger and sadness while not breaking anything, but it shakes the cup from this morning and it falls off onto the carpet next to my bed. I'll get it tomorrow morning. I need to cry away all my leftover energy.