FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Author's Note: I am Nicki, Minaj or Lewinsky. This story is completely unrelated to my series. It's just a funny little short story and it's only real purpose is to entertain or help with connections to characters. Have fun!

Cause they be thinking niggas spit, spit shine my shoes, you know I keep a bad bitch let me sign your boobs, I'm the only thing hoppin like a kangaroo, I mean the only thing poppin like a can of brew!

*****

"Nick! Wake up!" I open my eyes a tiny bit to see an overly excited German Shepherd laying on my chest. RJ was grinning from ear to ear and bubbling with energy.

"What?" I asked groggily.

"Get up! Dude, it's Christmas Eve!"

"So?" We'd been up all night the night before playing "grown-up" games.

"So!? Santa comes tonight!" RJ bounced.

"RJ! I'm seriously exhausted and I don't want to play right now."

"Who's playing? We have stuff to do!"

"Are you serious!? I'm not an idiot, RJ. I know he's not real."

"What!? You think Santa Claus is not real? Why not?"

"RJ, are we really having this conversation?" I sat up and leaned against the leathery headboard. "I haven't had a real Christmas since I was three and don't give me that bullshit about naughty and nice because I was the nicest kid in school until I turned like twelve. The only reason presents weren't under my tree, which wasn't around very much either, is because both of my parents were too fucked up to remember to buy them. Not because some fat-ass with flying deer skipped my chimney." RJ looked a little shocked.

"So what, now you play the Grinch every December?"

"I don't want to ruin it. It was just ruined for me, so it just feels like another day."

"That's really sad, Nick."

"You can't miss what you never had." RJ looked away for a moment deep in his thoughts. He had assumed that I didn't help decorate the house because I was lazy, but now he was beginning to piece it all together.

"Well, I'm going to give you the best Christmas ever."

"Does it start with going back to sleep?"

"You slept all day yesterday, today is my day. And I call tomorrow." I sighed and rolled out of the fluffy bed with a groan. I found a pair of blue boxers on the floor and slipped them on. I didn't know if they were mine or not, but I really didn't care. RJ was already fully dressed.

"What are we doing exactly?" I asked.

"Nope, everything is a surprise today."

"RJ...," I sighed. He grinned mischievously. It was already noon and I couldn't imagine what we could possibly do so late on a holiday, but I had never participated before, so I wouldn't know. Once I'd had a quick shower, we jumped into the Mustang and headed towards the town. He took me to see a parade and a choir perform.

"What do you think?" he asked when the choir was done.

"I'm not impressed," I said blandly. I could describe it to you, but to be honest I didn't actually pay that much attention. I'd seen choirs before and they don't do very much. You could get the same effect with a CD on surround sound, but without the mistakes. I've been in parades. It's more fun from the floats.

"What? That was so much fun!" RJ tried.

"I'm sorry, but that wasn't my idea of fun."

"Your only idea of fun is in the bedroom..." RJ mumbled. I punched his arm lightly.

"No, it's not!"

"Well, I haven't seen you do anything else."

"We went swimming two nights ago in twenty degree weather! Are you serious?"

"Ok, I'll give you that one. I know you're not going to like the next part now."

"Oh god..." I mumbled as we climbed back into the silver Mustang. We arrived at a small log cabin where the only source of light were the array of Christmas lights twirled about the house. "Who's house is this?"

"My dad's."

"WHAT!?" I screamed, "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING?"

"No," RJ giggled.

"RJ, I'm not meeting your dad tonight. I don't plan on meeting him ever."

"I want you to."

"What if he doesn't like me?"

"I don't care if he hates you."

"I do!" I started panicking. Why? What does this have to do with Christmas? I was kind of pissed.

Alright, stop. Tips on meeting the parents. Be polite. I mean, come on, break out the manners "yes, sir, no, sir." That type of shit. Don't be all over your boy/girl. That's the fastest way to get kicked out. Don't meet them unless you plan on marrying the guy. And finally, don't be yourself... ever. Play.

"What am I supposed to say?"

"Whatever you want."

"Seriously?" RJ closed the door leaving me in the car to sweat. I slowly climbed out and closed my door. RJ was waiting on the stairs. I took a few deep breaths and joined him. He pressed the doorbell. This is BULLSHI-

"Hello!" RJ's dad greeted. He looked like an older version of RJ with glasses. He was very formally dressed, unlike myself and RJ. I grinned and waved while RJ talked.

"What's up, dad?"

"Just finished cooking! Who's this?"

"This is Nick, he's my boy."

"Oh," his tone changed to slightly disappointed. I looked at the ground, embarrassed. "Well, please, come in!" He stepped aside and RJ led the way inside. "I hope you're hungry. I made a ton of food." I sat next to RJ at the small table. The food looked and smelled delicious. I ate as tamely as I could, even though I wanted to stuff my muzzle with the entire plate. When we were done the conversation began.

"So, Nick, how did you meet RJ?"

"Um, we met through a friend," I stuttered and glanced at RJ. He was giggling quietly.

"And how old are you?"

"Um, sixteen...," Can you say "awkward silence?" That's a big one.

"Riley Jacks, um, are you sure... you know, I mean..." I laughed internally at RJ's name, which I never knew.

"Dad, I really like him. He's not suing me for child molestation."

"Not yet..." I muttered. If he kept doing this, he was well on his way.

"I just want you to be smart. So, are you still in school?"

"Yes, sir."

"Do your parents know... that you're with RJ?" He gave me a stern look.

"No, sir, but I don't think they'd care anyways."

"Most parents would be concerned about their son having a twenty-two year old boyfriend."

"Dad!" RJ interrupted.

"I'm just asking!"

"They aren't around much," I answered quietly.

"Oh, I'm very sorry."

"No, it's fine."

"Where's Austin?" RJ asked.

"I'm not sure. He was supposed to be here, but he got caught up somewhere," RJ's dad replied.

"That's my little brother," RJ informed.

"I figured," I answered.

"So, what do you want for Christmas?" RJ's dad asked.

"I didn't really ask for anything," I answered.

"Why not?"

"My parents aren't big on tradition."

"Aw, well there must be something..." I thought for a few seconds. No one had ever asked me what I wanted.

"Um, I need a car. I have my license, but no car, but that's really expensive so I'd probably just want something to record my music with. I like music a lot."

"Oh that sounds exciting! That's a cool hobby and you have a good grasp on money management, it sounds like." The comment was not lost on me. He thought I was with RJ for his money, but I can make money without RJ.

"Yeah," I faked a laugh. I wasn't sure what this had to do with Christmas, but I didn't like it. The next hour or so was RJ talking to his dad about various things. I just sat quietly. Finally, RJ said his goodbyes and we left. Once we were in the car, I blew up. "What the fuck, RJ!?"

"It wasn't that bad! You should have seen him when Kaiden came over."

"RJ, that was a complete disaster! How could it have been worse? No, don't answer that. What did this have to do with Christmas?"

"You're supposed to spend it with family. Do you want to go to your parents house now?"

"Fuck no!"

"No, let's go. I want to meet them."

"RJ, shut up."

"Tell me the way, Nick."

"I'm not playing. We're seriously not going."

"I'll call Seth if you don't tell me."

"Call him." RJ took out his phone and I snatched it away.

"Stop, please." I gave him a very serious look and handed him his phone. I was extremely upset.

"Why are you so high strung?"

"I'm just really tired, RJ. Can we just go home?"

"I guess," RJ sighed and we headed back to his house. I started laughing. "What?"

"Your name is Riley Jacks?"

"Shut up, your name is Nicki! That's a fucking bitch name."

"I like the Riley part, but why Jacks? Did they run out of names?"

"I'm named after my dad," RJ laughed. "So, did you at least have a little fun tonight?"

"Well, I was with you so it wasn't a complete drag." I leaned across the gear shift to kiss RJ's cheek. He grinned and turned the radio to my favorite CD. I fell asleep on the way home.

"Nick, get up!" RJ was standing over me with a big red box this time. "Merry Christmas! See, Santa came."

"RJ! Why did you do that?" I scolded, glaring at the red box.

"I didn't! Santa did!" He said gleefully.

"RJ, for real, I'm not opening it."

"Why?"

"I know you bought that last night."

"I carried you in here last night and went to sleep. I don't know what you're talking about." He dropped the heavy box on my lap. I stared at the box for a moment. It was so well wrapped. He must have done this before.

"Well, thank you..."

"Don't thank me, thank Santa." This was getting annoying. I ripped the paper off with a smile. I was actually excited to see what he got me. It was a strange feeling, but kind of familiar. My jaw dropped.

"A 360? Seriously? Why?"

"I don't know, Nick. I'm not Santa."

"RJ, for real. I'm mega annoyed."

"Well, that's your problem. There's more stuff downstairs."

"RJ! Why did you do that!? I didn't get you anything!"

"I didn't get you anything!" He was being so serious. For a moment, I thought some old man had actually broken into our house and brought me a bunch of presents. "I have stuff down there too." You're fucking with me now. I followed him down the stair where hundreds of boxes sat. RJ actually did have presents. He still could've bought them. I looked for a mistake on all the name tags, but every one said "From: Santa." He's fucking good. Two hours later, I had a brand new wardrobe and a billion new movies, games, and CD's. There were a few books too and various other items. "Hey look at this new room!"

"WHAT!?" If he did what I think he did, I was going to be pissed. Sure enough, I was now the pissed owner of a music studio. It had everything. It had the big boxes with all the buttons, a couple of computers, a vocal booth, and some things that I didn't even recognize. "RJ, take all of this shit back now!"

"I can't! I don't have a receipt! Stop yelling at me. Santa, did it." He was messing with my head. I was actually believing in something I know to be fake!

"RJ, stop," I gave him the serious look again, but he gave a look that said he didn't know what was going on.

"Just enjoy Santa's presents Nick."

"Santa's not real!"

"Really? It looks like it to me!"

"RJ, I'm about to leave."

"Where are you going?"

"I'll walk until you decide we're done with the Santa game."

"It's not a game!" That's it. I stormed passed RJ and flung the front door open. I heard him coming after me, but he didn't say anything. I finally reached the driveway and gasped. No, he didn't...

In front of me, sat a brand spanking new 2011 red Mustang convertible with two white racing stripes and a big silver bow on the hood. It looked nearly identical to his. "No... no, I don't want it. I won't take it."

"Wow! That's so cool. Are you taking it for a spin?" RJ sounded genuinely surprised.

"No!"

"Why not?"

"RJ, I don't care who bought this. I want it gone!"

"Why?"

"I hate red," I lied.

"No, you don't. Go drive the car!" I sighed and tried to look as unexcited as possible to get to the car. RJ got in the passenger side. I took the driver's seat and carefully drove the car for the first time. That's right t had zero miles on it. Fucked up, right? I laughed and cranked the radio up. I was absolutely thrilled. "So, was it a good Christmas?"

"The best," I laughed. I pressed my muzzle against his and let his tongue explore my mouth. "Let's get back to the house and have my kind of fun..." RJ grinned. What a kick-ass boyfriend.