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"Lift with your legs." Jewel ignored the irony in Amy's suggestion as the badger lifted Helga's legs. While more accustomed to sitting on her ass watching anime than she was going to the gym, something her own girlfriend would nag her about, she found the pig lighter than she expected. The difficulty in carrying her came more from avoiding any bumps as the trio brought her up the stairs and into the guestroom. Why they didn't just wake her up had crossed Jewel's mind, but Amy and Rebecca looked dead set on letting the woman sleep.

With how exhausted Helga had been, Jewel couldn't blame them. She was the spitting image of a ball of stress the entire weekend: Baggy eyes, unkempt hair, sweat underneath her jacket and a yawn from poor sleep. Amy and Rebecca looked like morning people by comparison, and they slept in a shared cage.

They took a moment to catch their breath after laying her down. "Do you have a spare blanket or something?" Rebecca asked Jewel. She did, in the living room. A home-sewn white blanket that was too coarse for her liking. Helga still had her clothes on, so that shouldn't be a problem.

On the topic of clothes, Amy and Rebecca were still naked. Well, save for the cuffs around their ankles and wrists. The vole was in the process of viciously pulling at the leather tongues when Jewel returned. Rebecca stood with her hands behind her back. Her fingers fidgeted with one another as if waiting for permission.

It didn't come. Once the blanket was over Helga and the girls had her face upright to sleep, they all collected themselves back into the cabin's living room and kitchen. Jewel, as if free from a weight on her shoulders, turned the camera off. More extra footage to delete later.

"You should shower," Rebecca said to Amy after a minute of silence. "You stink."

Amy forced a smile, "So do you. Why don't you go first?"

Rebecca's ears fell, "No, I think you should."

"Why?" Amy asked with a subtle defensive tone, like she'd been insulted but didn't want to be blunt back. "You worked up way more sweat than me. I can smell you from here." She pinched her pink nose to sell the point.

Rebecca's head fell into her shoulders, "I figured you'd prefer to have hot water. I can take the cold. It's no big deal."

Amy's brow furrowed, "You think I'd take that long?" She snapped back, "It's just a shower. I can rinse myself off. The temperature shouldn't matter, not since I got held down for a hosing."

Jewel stepped in before Rebecca could challenge nature in how well she'd sink into her stomach. "Hot water isn't an issue." She said, pointing to the bathroom, "So long as you don't spend two hours rinsing, we'll have plenty."

"You see?" Amy nodded to Jewel as she spoke to Rebecca, "Hot water won't be an issue. So you go first. Now." The badger heard that as an order rather than a suggestion. The pitbull seemed to as well, with how she carried herself head down on her way to the bathroom. "And take your cuffs off."

Jewel took to a seat at the table, more to get off her knees. They refused to budge the moment she sat down. She made a mental note to go to the gym more.

The chair across from her scratched along the floor as Amethyst pulled it out. The vole had already taken a pillow from the couch and plopped it on. "I don't want to get the chair dirty."

"Chair's easier to clean." That sounded more aggressive than Jewel intended. If the vole took it as such, she didn't show. She simply sat down and tapped her fingernails against the table. One after the other in slow rhythm. It gradually sped up as time went on, followed by the constant thud of Amethyst's knee hopping.

She was thinking. Jewel had known Amy before she dyed her hair green and called herself 'Amethyst'. As for what she was thinking of, Jewel eyed back to Helga's door. She had never heard of dominants using safewords. In all her research on the subject, both for personal interest and college papers, the subject of a safeword or signal was for the submissive. It gave them true control over the session.

But Helga gave herself one. Hell, she gave Jewel one, Avocado, and made sure she knew it every morning. After hearing the pig utter her word, the signs felt obvious. The poor sleep, the antsy attitude, and the not-so-hidden conversations Helga had that the go-pros recorded. She was stressed, and Amy had to be wondering why.

"Am I lazy?" Amy asked before Jewel could bring up her thoughts.

"Lazy?" The badger thought back to all of Amy's extracurriculars since she'd known her. Track team captain, school plays, president of the debate team, and more. All this and top grades. The vole was so busy in highschool that Jewel never had a chance to realize her envy wasn't envy. But that bridge had been burnt. "No." The badger shook her head, "I don't think you're lazy."

The rodent scoffed and rolled her eyes, "Guess you're a rarity then."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jewel asked, this time intentional in her aggression.

Amy leaned back into her chair and stared up at the ceiling. "Everyone seems to act like I am. Like I just want to sit around and do nothing most of the day."

That did ring a bell. "You kind of did when we were roommates." Jewel earned a quick glare from the vole at the mention. "Oh, don't act like you didn't spend most of your freetime in the dorm. I was right there beside you, often trying to get some sleep. But you moan."

"Oh my god..." Amethyst cupped her face and cradled against the table, "Fuck...I forgot I did that."

"Yeah." Jewel nodded, "Wasn't a fun memory. But you did get a lot lazier in college."

"I didn't get lazier, I just got tired of shit!" The vole balanced off her chair's hindlegs. "I had no room to breathe in highschool. Every hour I wasn't doing a club or studying, I was sleeping or..." She blushed, "Fuck...I just didn't want to keep overwhelming myself. Is that so wrong?"

Jewel shook her head. Amy continued before the badger could add her thoughts. "Everyone else seems to think so." She threw her arms up, "I mean, sorry I don't want to wake up at 5 AM for a morning jog. I'm already suffering from a diet where only the occasional pizza breaks it. I work with sugar every day on my shift. The cake pops are horrible yet I fucking crave them."

With her head hung back against the chair, the vole let out one last exasperated sigh. "People act like I'm not living up to my potential or something. As if they're doing any better. The so-called 'Pacifist' seemed to enjoy holding me in an arm lock."

Was that what this was about? How Rebecca held her down? Jewel didn't know the pitbull well. She'd heard loose conversations back and forth about the girl's father, how she used to do MMA when he couldn't, but it was barebones. "I didn't know she's a pacifist."

"Or so she claims." Amethyst hunched back over against the table, still filled with jittery energy. "Yet she keeps training as if she goes into the ring. Granted it's not like I see her throw a punch anymore. But she jogs, she lifts...I swear, if she isn't tied down, Rebecca looks uncomfortable sitting for too long."

"Maybe she has ADHD?" Jewel hadn't the slightest way to diagnose someone. "Maybe she's just used to being active?"

Amethyst scrunched her face and crossed her arms, "Maybe she just needs to learn how to relax. I know it's hard when you're so used to doing stuff, but it's not impossible."

"What do you mean?" The badger eyed the bathroom door. The shower had stopped. From past visits, she knew the walls of the cabin were thick enough to block out most conversations, short of screaming. Oh, how her cousins screamed when they were young, like the little brats they were.

The vole opened her mouth to answer but stopped short when the door opened. Rebecca's red hair hung loosely from her head, matting her shoulders. Her ruffled fur stood dry enough to step outside without any drips ruining the hardwood floor. "Shower's free, M...it's free." The pitbull looked away, but Jewel saw the blush crawling underneath her cheeks.

Amethyst, who had finally removed all her cuffs and placed them out on the table, left for the bathroom. "I'm gonna be a bit." To Jewel, the vole meant she'd use up as much hot water as she could to stew in her own thoughts. The badger didn't care, Amy needed some way to relax and it was clear she was holding back more rants.

With a red shirt and tight blue jeans, Rebecca took Amethyst's spot at the table. Unlike the vole, the pitbull carried no silent fury in her eyes. From what little of them Jewel could see as the pitbull sunk into the table. "Something wrong?" She asked.

The pitbull paused between a nod and a shake of her head. "Just...a lot on my mind I guess."

"Wanna talk about it?" She might as well hear her side of things. "Actually, have you ever heard of a top using their safeword? Or even having one?"

Rebecca didn't speak. The pitbull shook her head and got up to check the fridge. "I thought we bought more food?" She pulled out the last box of diced chicken and veggies. Jewel remembered Helga complaining that the smell still lingered after three rinses of the blender.

"I think she wanted to get something special for when the scene ended. But I told her the nearest pizza place doesn't deliver." It was almost an hour away. "Maybe we should go by the supermarket? Get something to cook?"

"She's a poor cook when she's mad." Rebecca slumped back to her seat.

"Who?"

"Amy." The pitbull nodded toward the shower, "She gets frustrated easier and her dicing suffers. Sometimes it's undercooked.I doubt she's in the mood to cook anything anyway. Are you?"

Jewel was not. She assumed neither was Rebecca, hence why the dog never offered her own skills. "Maybe we should just pick something up? Pizza's sounding pretty good right about now. We can always use the oven to reheat it"

Rebecca shrugged. "Ok," Jewel said and grabbed Helga's keys. "Let's go."

"What?" The pitbull pointed to the bathroom, "What about Amy?"

"You can text her where we went. Come on. I'm buying." The pitbull sank into the passenger seat on the drive. She periodically checked her phone for responses or looked out the window at the passing treelines. "So...you lived in New York City most of your life?" Jewel asked. Rebecca nodded. "Where in?"

"Hunt's point." Rebecca's tone didn't indicate any interest in the topic. "And no."

"No?"

The pitbull's blue eyes didn't waiver from her faded reflection, "I've never heard about a dominant using their safeword, or having one. It feels...I want to say wrong, but it makes sense from what I've learned."

"What do you mean?" Jewel prodded on, "I've never seen it in my research."

"Maybe you're not researching hard enough." That was a dagger if Jewel ever felt it. "But, well when Amy tops me, often she talks about the rush she gets in sessions and Helga is the first to tell her to hold back. The woman, no matter how hard we play, always has this sense of restraint to her. Like she's afraid of something. I mean, she clearly enjoys it. My reddened ass is proof enough of Helga's fun. But she's...I don't know, walking a tightrope?"

The analogy made some sense to the badger. She pressed on. "So, do you think the safeword is falling off the tightrope?"

The pitbull leaned back and took a deep sigh before she answered. "No. I think it's more of a safety net. Did you know about the baby monitor?"

"What?" She thought she saw something like that packed away. "What about it?"

Rebecca tapped her ears, "They, or the ones she bought, make a noise when they're on. Static. My hearing's pretty good, better when I'm wearing a blindfold. So both nights when I was bound to Amy, I could hear the crack of static going off not too far away from the cage. Helga removed it every morning so we wouldn't see it. But I knew she was listening in."

"Why would she do that?" It sounded like Helga was more of a control freak than overprotective. It would explain the woman's attitude toward Amy's smart mouth.

"Why else would you buy a baby monitor? Parents don't listen to their baby sleeping 'cause they like that noise. At least, I don't think that's the main reason." Rebecca locked her fingers together as she explained. "She was making sure we didn't have any emergencies in the evening. No wonder she collapsed, she must have not been sleeping at all."

They sat in silence after that, with just the noise of the car ruminating between them. Jewel had suspected Helga hadn't been sleeping. No, she knew the pig had been skipping out, hence all the naps and energy drinks she'd been sneaking. Guilt crept up her spine. How come she never called it out? The pig was more experienced, so Jewel assumed she knew what she was doing. She didn't want to ruin their fun.

But were they having fun, or just pushing each other into thinking so?

Rebecca's phone pinged. "Amy's mad we left without her." The pitbull didn't look up from the device, "I told her we were getting pizza. She says to get veggie lovers for her, and pepperoni for Helga."

"Helga eats pepperoni?" Jewel asked.

"She says she isn't bothered by ferals." Rebecca closed her eyes, "I imagine it's the same with any bovine that eats a burger."

Their choice of pizzeria was a small shop at the edge of the road. Its tiled floors were stained from boots that trekked across the UP. After ordering two pies, the two sat in silence in the corner. Rebecca stared off into space, while Jewel wondered if she should ask her again about the safeword. Better to drop it now, she figured, and ask something else. "So, Amy told me you used to do boxing?"

"Mixed Martial Arts." Rebecca's tone carried no fondness for the correction. "My dad did boxing."

"What made you stop?" Jewel asked. Her eyes noted the rigorous tapping of the pitbull's leg, "Too exhausting?"

"Something like that." The pitbull said sharply. "I'd rather not talk about it."

The cook called out before Jewel could, albeit unwisely, press. "Two pies! One veggie, one pep!" Before either of the women could get up, a large bear cut them off and grabbed the boxes.

"Excuse me." Jewel stepped up, "Those are ours." She was sure of it on account of the bear arriving after they did.

Tackles and hooks swung from his fishing hat with a turn of his head. "Pardon me?" He said with a thick yooper accent.

"Those pies are ours." Jewel pointed to the two pizza boxes in his hands.

"No they ain't, troll." The bear thumbed back to the counter, "I called in advance to pick 'em up. Not my fault we got the same order."

Rebecca stood up before Jewel could think about her mistake. "She said they were ours." The pitbull's ears lay flat against her head. "We already paid for them."

The bear cracked a grin and leaned down to meet Rebecca's gaze, "The intimidation don't work on me, troll. I hunt feral moose for fun."

Rebecca didn't back down. She bore her teeth and tensed her breathing. Jewel saw the pitbull's knuckles clench. "Don't make me say it again."

"Two pies!" The chief called from the back, "One veggie, one pep!"

The bear grinned and walked off without a word. Rebecca's face went red, as did Jewel's. The pitbull grabbed their pizzas and headed into the car. Five minutes into the drive back, she swore. "Fucking goddamn it."

"What was that?" Jewel asked. She'd never seen anyone so willing to throw a punch in her life, and she'd been slapped by her best friend once before.

Rebecca crumbled up into her seat. "Becca...I thought she was gone."

"Becca?" Jewel repeated, "As in, you?"

The pitbull shook her head. "No. It's...it's kind of fucked up. Becca was just the person I made to be more comfortable with fighting. Rebecca, me, hates it. I've always considered myself a pacifist."

"Then why did you do MMA?"

"Because my dad was a fucking asshole!" The pitbull snapped back, "A gaslighting jackass who had me pick up the fighting mantle when he was kicked out of the ring. Because he couldn't get a real job, or so he said. So I go from the girl who stitched his wounds for free, to stitching my own wounds because apparently he didn't know anything about first aid. After I met Helga and Amy, I was done with fighting, done with Becca. Except I guess not cause, lo and behold, I get told to put Amy in a headlock and suddenly the bitch is back out."

"Had you talked to Helga about that?" Her tone made the question more accusatory than she liked to admit. She saw Rebecca lock her best friend without a moment's hesitation though, and the aggression she displayed at the pizzeria made the pacifism argument shaky.

"No...well, yes?" Rebecca slump further into the leather seat than Jewel thought possible. "She knows I'm a pacifist. So does Amy. But she still ordered me to...to do that." Her knee started to hop and the pizza boxes moved with the rapid tempo. "What's worse is that I just did it without thinking. Taking an order and following it is, well, easy. I can just turn my brain off and be stress-free about it. I know I need to think for myself more, especially with the lack of agency I've had for most of my life. But part of why I like subbing is that I like giving up that control..." She clutched herself close, "There's always a safeword. That lifeline to pull when things go too far. And I didn't pull it."

Jewel wanted to brace Rebecca's shoulder, look her in her soft blue eyes, and tell her it was alright. That would be a lie. "Why didn't you say it?" She ended up asking. All her research, and everything Amy and Rebecca had said pointed to the importance of the safeword. They had a damned discussion about this before the play started. So why did no one pull that trigger? Why did Helga need to if Rebecca felt violated?

The pitbull looked away, her guilt planted across her faded window reflection. "Because this whole trip was my idea. I wanted to try something intense. Amy got excited about it when I shared the idea. I had a feeling we were forcing Helga to go along with this, but I didn't act on it 'cause I was selfish. I didn't want it to end because I didn't want them to think I hated all the effort that was put in."

The badger expected tears. The pitbull had none. Rebecca looked out with melancholy for the rest of the drive and Jewel couldn't think of anything to say for the next thirty minutes.

***

Amy wasn't bothered by her two friends ditching her. She pushed a text about it to be teasing, but even that felt forced. Like she needed to be the brat all the time. It was taxing. The vole laid out on the couch with her feet up, eyes glued to the ceiling. Just support arches that she counted over and over to pass the time. It failed to get her mind off of what had happened.

Helga said her safeword. Amy thought about peeking over the couch to stare at Helga's bedroom door, but she decided not to move her neck. Better to tie herself down in her thoughts than let guilt enrapt her to the door. The baggy eyes, the concerned questions, it was right in front of Amy and she did nothing but blame it on them looking down on her.

She closed her eyes and tried to sleep. She'd been the wrong kind of brat this entire trip.