Lust to Lose
Copyright (c) 2007 WhiteFire blah blah blah...
WARNING: This is a piece of pure jackoff material. It makes no attempt to be anything more. It involves nonconsentuality, kidnapping, humiliation, exhibitionism, and most of all, castration. I beg that you forgive my sick mind it's sins.
I did give this one a once-over in the hopes of catching the glaring mistakes. So it should be fairly clean. Er, of errors I mean.
Really people, if this does not interest you, don't read it. I'm not here to offend anyone.
~ Lust to Lose ~
I don't know how I got here. I was in a park, just laying out in the sun, enjoying a peaceful day off. Then I woke here.
My fate was explained to me briefly, and before he left me there I sobbed out, "why me?"
That got a chuckle, and the hooded figure said, "oh, come now, boy... do I really have to explain? You are cute as hell, girly to begin with, and you have a knot. You like to nap out of view of the rest of the park. And... we know what you've been jerking off to."
"Now, do try and enjoy yourself. It may be the last time you can, after all."
The figure left. I could not even hazard a guess as to species. His scent was masked, his clothes too covering. Including his tail even. I think, maybe, his muzzle was too short to be canid. Maybe.
He was right about how I looked. I biked to work every day, but didn't do much more, trim but not built. Most vulpines are slender, I am no exception. I was gifted with nice headfur, and wore it ass length. My green eyes went well with my rusty orange pelt. Honestly, I tended to have more curves than lines, and sometimes I even played it up. That androgynous look really turned some people on.
Unfortunately, it seemed to be favored by the audience hiding behind the cameras spread around me.
Of course, I knew that. I had even seen one of these videos, passed around people with similar interests on the net. There was the stories I read. The searches I did. The roleplaying online.
I wasn't some random choice.
Now, my 'fate', as he called it...
The room was pretty much blank, except for a one-way mirror in front of me. So I had a good view of myself. There were also cameras mounted in various positions around me to catch all the important angles.
I was bound standing with thick wrist and ankle cuffs, mounted on metal bars. My arms were held out to the sides, and my legs spread uncomfortably but not painfully wide. There was also a collar that attached to two metal arms that went over the top of my arms off to the side. The collar and cuffs were padded.
My tail was held by a separate device in an elegant, so I was told, curve against my back. I was in no position to see if this was true, I could just feel it held in place. This left me entirely exposed.
It was not all that uncomfortable, and if I had chosen to be in a rig like this, it would have all been very hot.
The things they wanted to keep my interest on were elsewhere.
Lets start with the most important part. My balls.
They were to be the central attraction in this little show. As such they had a tight device separating them from my body by about an inch. It also was tight around my sac, stretching it over it's contents. It made them nicely visible, as I could clearly see in my reflection.
The problem as far as I was concerned, though, was the very sharp blade on the underside of the device. It was kept pressed against my sac lightly, just so I would not forget it was there.
Believe me, I was not about to forget.
Next, there was my cock. It was fitted into a clear tube, rising at a fairly natural angle from my sheath. The device had a ring around the base to hold the sheath back, but the ring was wide enough not to act as a cockring. That is a rather important detail. The tube was shaped such that it was a bit snug when I was fully erect, and my tip was in a tight tapered end that squeezed it. The tube also had bulge for my knot to fill in if I tied.
It was, despite the situation, rather pleasant feeling. Of course, that was part of the game.
There were a few pressure pads in the device, as was carefully explained to me. The first was under the tip of my shaft at the end of the tube. The others were held off to the sides around my knot such that if I tied, they would be tripped.
You may have guessed what it tripped. That's right. The blade at my balls. If I tied, I got castrated.
Now, that may not sound like too hard of a thing to avoid. And if that was all there was to it, I would be fine. But... that would not make for a very "fun" game.
I also had to keep the one at my tip pressed at least once every few seconds. If I grew soft longer than that... yep. No balls. The delay was so I could fuck the tube if I wanted or needed to.
The blade, I was told, would move slowly, and the device around my sac would release a band above the cut to keep me from bleeding to death. This is so I had plenty of time to "enjoy" my failure. I was also promised that I'd get out of this alive.
Just not necessarily whole.
To make things more interesting, there was a nice thick plug fitted in my ass and inflated enough I could not press it out. It was carefully measured to put it's tip against my prostate, and it vibrated. Sometimes. It turned on and off and varied it's intensity randomly.
My nipples were in snug clamps, with wires hanging off to the sides. They were bipolar, so that they didn't pass the current through the chest, which was thoughtful and all. They were of course busy shocking my nipples. Like the toy shoved firmly under my bound tail, it was random about it. Separately for each nipple, I might add.
Oh, and just to make sure that I had no hope what so ever of my balls being rushed to a hospital and reattached, there was a nice jar of acid waiting for them between my spread legs. It even had a splash guard so that I would not burn my legs when my balls fell into it.
Now every last bit of this I seriously got off on. The toys, the exhibitionism, the bondage. Yes, and the fact that I was in danger of being castrated. It had long been a fantasy that I had jerked off to constantly, roleplayed online, chatted to people, spent more time jerking off about...
Like most guys into it though, I had planned to keep it just that. A fantasy.
The best laid plans of... Anyway.
Now this is all a nice calm description of the situation. The fact was, I was anything but calm. In fact, I was screaming, begging, sobbing, struggling, pleading some more... I'm sure I was perfect for the roll. Twinky girly boy crying his eyes out and begging for his balls while being rock hard at the thought of what was about to happen to him.
What turns me on about losing my balls? A lot of things.
Fear makes my heart pound. I love claws or teeth at my throat. I like self bondage because there is always that fear of something going wrong, and being unable to escape. Public play for fear of being caught. And oh, how very afraid I was. I knew perfectly well there was no one that was going to save me, the only people that could hear me were no doubt busy jacking themselves off to the sounds of my crying and screaming.
Denial is another reason. Being horny and denied, over and over, kept in chastity for long periods. All things that made me so very aroused, and things I had done. All the way from being toyed with in one night stands to a master online shipping me a chastity toy with a combination lock.
Humiliation. Really, do I have to explain that? I was being raped here. I was completely out of control. I was a toy for other's amusement. The list goes on.
Submission. The idea of giving up your ability to cum for another's pleasure. In this case, gods know how many people's pleasure. In fact, that really had my heart pounding. How many people were watching this live? How many people would see the resulting video? I know how I acted when I got a copy of one. I was about to get more people off than I could imagine.
If the fantasy of surrendering your sex to your master is strong, just imagine the idea that I was, unwillingly, being forced to do so for possibly thousands of pervs world wide.
Speaking of that video I saw, I was never sure if the thing was consensual or not. Did they volunteer to do it for their master? Or were they forced into it? Was it faked? I wondered what it felt like, knowing your balls were in so much danger. I fantasized constantly about being the guy I had seen. Being helpless, wondering so much what it would feel like...
I now know the answer to all these questions.
I also knew that I had a chance. Or I thought I did anyway. Supposedly there is some underground market where rich folk bet on the outcome. How long it took, if they would actually make it. I'm sure there are other things to bet on in such cases. That just made it worse. If I just knew I was going to lose, then I could resign myself to my fate, maybe even enjoy living out the fantasy.
Of course, looking at the dribble of precum pouring out the bottom of the tube, one could argue that I was enjoying myself anyway. And much to my shame, I knew I was. All of this done to me, all that I stood to lose... and every second of it was pleasure.
I screamed louder.
I didn't have to fuck the tube to keep hard. I was there for hours, and I could not get soft if I wanted to. In fact, near the end, I felt myself start to tighten in the loins. You know the feeling, the point where you go from aroused to "I'm going to cum soon."
I have never been so horrified of watching my knot get hard. Bit by bit, as my insides were teased, sometimes gently, sometimes violently, and my tender nipples were shocked, I was going to tie that device.
The toys were the perfect addition. With out them, I would have stood a chance of controlling myself. Even if they had just been steady on, I could have managed to get used to it. But no, the random variations made certain I could not ignore them. I could not ignore my situation. Little jolts and bursts of pleasure to make absolutely certain I was fucked.
They don't REALLY want you to win, after all.
Oh, there was one other thing in here with me. A countdown timer. Six fucking hours I was supposed to endure this to save myself.
I suppose I should take some pride in the fact that I only had an hour left. If it had been any other situation, my top would have been awe inspired at my control and stamina.
I thought my voice had long since gone horse. I had been simply sobbing for quite a while. But I found I had some left when I felt my knot bump the sides of that bulge around it, and heard the little click. Oh how I screamed in terror.
I started to beg again, cry out for help, but something snapped.
It was over. I was going to lose my balls right here and now. God damn it I was horny, more horny than I had ever been in my entire life. Not even after several weeks of chastity was I ever this horny.
I was going to cum before my balls dropped.
I fucked that machine. I felt a sharp pain and a few drops of blood trail down the back of my balls. I fucked it harder. I squeezed my ass around that plug, as if I was trying to crush it. I didn't care if it hurt.
I felt the blade hit something very painful, it had to be my cords, the bundle of tendon, sperm duct, and blood vessels that kept my balls a part of me.
I guess I should be thankful that it set me off. It numbed the pain of them slowly being sliced through.
I howled like I never had before. I jerked around uncontrollably. I could feel the pressure in my cock as my prostate busily emptied everything through it. The pleasure made my vision blank out it was so intense. I filled that tube so that my cock was bathed in it's own juices, and leaked out the base of it. It dribbled onto the acid jar, leaving long white streaks.
For a moment, they hung in my half cut off sac, detached from me, but still hanging on for dear life. Then the blade finished the job, and there was an audible plop plop. Somehow I heard it over the sounds I was making.
No, your cum does not come directly from your balls. Really, the sperm is a small part of it. You can tell, because freshly castrated, I came again.
Yes, the fantasy of this was really that strong in me. And in this situation, it felt like the only thing I had left was that fantasy. I don't think it was a rational thought.
I howled and moaned, and eventually went slack in the bonds, barely able to keep upright enough to not choke myself on the collar. My eyes were fixated on the mirror before me, and my balls, dissolving away, discoloring the acid with blood and the remains of the flesh.
That image burned itself into my mind forever.