Elements of a Shattered Past, Chapter 17: New Beginnings
Story by FeuerfoxKA8 on SoFurry
Chapter 17: The die had been cast, but the results of the decision that was made had taken a life of their own...
May 24, 2001
Harrison High School
Colorado Springs, CO
11:32AM
Nervousness welled in my stomach; enough to be felt but not enough to dare deviating from Julie’s instructions. Even though I wasn’t really that hungry I found myself in the ala carte line next to the main cafeteria line.
While what was generally served in the lunchroom was the standard, low-cost institutional fare one could expect out of a public school district, the ala carte line was an alternative that was more expensive than eating the bulk chicken sandwiches, nuggets, burgers, or cheap pizza that had been served to us since we were in elementary school but didn’t necessitate a car to drive off-campus for fast food. Instead, the fast food was brought in; it was a little more expensive than buying it direct but the school had a captive audience.
The other upside was the fact the line was shorter; not having to wait in the lunch rush gave those who went this route a little more time in an already cramped lunch period. As Julie suggested I picked up two personal pizzas, candy bars and bottles of Coke; enough for Holly and I to share. I shelled out about ten bucks for the repast; taking a deep breath as I exited the line and made my way back to the lunchroom.
I was aware that this would be one of the last times we would be meeting for lunch here. Seniors had tomorrow off for the prom; Monday and Tuesday would be the last days of actual class and were primarily for tying up loose ends regarding final grades. A week from now every one of us but Will would be out into the ‘real world’ as adults; one final summer to prepare for the rest of our lives.
Julie and Seth were at our usual table along with Holly; Julie giving me a mute nod of approval as I approached. Holly’s demeanor was subdued; almost sullen; she greeted me with a half-smile and a half-hearted wave as I slid into the seat beside her. “Got you something,” I mentioned as I placed her half of the haul in front of her.
“Thanks, Adam,” Holly responded, taking her pizza, Snickers bar and Coke and laying it out on the table in front of her. “Sorry if I seem out of it; yesterday was rough.”
“Speaking of yesterday,” Seth replied, “I think you two need to talk about something. In private.” With that he stood up along with Julie in a move that was practically choreographed.
“We’ll talk later, Holly,” Julie mentioned as they got up and left. I followed them for a moment as they wandered to the lunch line; I saw them exchange a few words with Will before the left. They were likely telling him that lunch was canceled today. That left Holly and I sitting at the table, alone.
“Did you hear about what happened to Katie and her group?” Holly asked; her voice hesitant and nervous. “A bunch of them were pulled out of class by Mr. Briggs, Mr. Hall, and Deputy Tappett yesterday. I… I think they found out the things I was worried about. I don’t know when they’re going to come for me, but…”
“Holly,” I interrupted, “Like Julie and Seth said, we need to talk in private. They’re not coming for you.”
“How do you know?” Holly asked. “Nearly everyone who went to the Spring Break shindig…”
“Holly, please,” I interrupted again. “Just follow me and I’ll explain everything.” I got up from my seat, collecting my food as an afterthought. Holly reluctantly tagged along as I went back to the industrial arts wing, headed for the computer storage room we were both quite familiar with at this point. Wordlessly I unlocked the door and walked in; turning on the lights and motioning to the now empty test bench.
“Adam,” Holly started, “I’m not sure what this is going to accomplish. If Mr. Briggs is looking for me, aren’t you going to get into trouble by hiding me?” Her expression was full of nervousness as she took a deep breath to try to keep it under control.
“He’s not looking for you, Holly,” I answered. “I made sure of that.”
“What do you mean?” Confusion replaced her nervousness in a near instant.
“I’m the one who found the memory card, Holly,” I took a deep breath as her eyes widened. “Matt had it in his camera bag when Mrs. Callaway took it from him. Katie never had it in the first place.”
“Y…you found the card?” Holly choked. “You’ve seen the…?” She was just about trembling; enough to stop mid-sentence.
I nodded. “Yeah, I saw some of the pictures,” I explained. “I deleted all of the pictures that had you in it, filled the card with a bunch of garbage and deleted it several times over; those pictures are gone for good. After that I turned the card over to Mrs. Callaway.”
Holly remained silent for a little bit; fiddling with a strand of material that had started to unravel from her sweater. An intense blush lit up her face as she started to speak. So that means you saw what… happened.”
I nodded, not entirely sure what to say. “I didn’t go really deep into them, but I guess I saw enough,” I explained. “I also deleted any photos that compromised Jennifer and a few others I know don’t deserve to get caught up in all this. To level with you, I’m not entirely sure why you aren’t going to the prom with her instead of me?”
Holly’s blush intensified to the point she was almost beet red. “Uhm, about that,” she stammered. “To be honest, I thought Matt’s including Cass was a one-time thing, but it wasn’t. I mean, I had a little bit of a crush on her but that ended up backfiring; I caught them going at it at the party, behind my back like we all agreed not to.” Holly took a few deep breaths and sat back, closing her eyes as she launched into an explanation.
“It’s taken me a couple of years to come to terms with it, but I like both guys and girls. Jennifer likes girls exclusively; she even told me that she had a crush on me. After I caught Matt cheating on me with Cass I ran into her. We were both a bit drunk and one thing led to another; I didn’t realize that we were being photographed. It wasn’t until Katie approached both of us a few weeks ago that we found out about the photos.” She sighed and glanced up to me.
“I understand,” I nodded at her. “Again, you’re not going to get any judgment from me. I’m just trying to figure out where I fit into all this, especially as it looks like you and Jennifer might be an item and I don’t want our friendship to get in the way of that.”
Holly took a deep breath and reached forward; her hand wrapping around mine. I tried to gently pull away, but her grip tightened and she shook her head. “Adam, I’m not with Jennifer. While we’re attracted to each other we don’t share a lot in common. Besides, she’s going to Dartmouth; that’s on the other end of the country. I asked you about the prom because I wanted to go with you, not to have you run cover for me and Jennifer. That and I should probably confess something to you.”
I blinked; her blue eyes gazing into mine with a serious intensity that lingered despite her flushed features and nervous expression. “I told you that I was jealous of you and Megan, but I didn’t tell you the real reason for that. I had a crush on both of you,” she confessed, closing her eyes and looking away for a moment. “I thought at first that it was jealousy towards her for dating you, until I started to realize that it was because I liked her, too.”
Again, I wasn’t really sure what to say; at the same time I noticed that her hand still gripped mine tightly. We remained silent for a moment while I gathered my thoughts, trying to force some of those dark memories out of my mind. “That has to be a difficult spot; liking two people who were already dating each other. I don’t really know what else to say, Holly.”
She looked up, a sad smile tugging at her lips as she gazed into my eyes. “Yeah, it’s not easy,” she sighed. “It’s why I pushed away from her, but there were a few times I almost told her about my crush on both of you. It was a silly hope that you and her would be okay with it and I could somehow date both of you, but I never worked up the guts to do that. I made the decision to back off because I was afraid either you or Megan would be angry if I brought it up.”
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, memories being stirred up as the depths were being dragged. “Holly,” I started, “I don’t know if I can give you that answer. I don’t think Megan liked other girls; even if she did I’m not sure how I would have felt about it. I don’t know if I would have been able to treat both of you equally; at the same time I’m not sure we could have kept that sort of arrangement from our friends and folks. Is that why you agreed to Matt and Cassandra?”
She nodded slowly. “It was something I was curious about,” she glanced up at the ceiling for a moment, as if recalling something. “She told me Matt brought it up to her first and she was willing to share both of us. It worked for a little bit, even as an open secret with Katie and Ryan, but then Cass kicked me out of the picture.” She frowned, turning back to me with a sheepish expression. “Matt tried to get both of us to agree to restart things, but after what they did to me? Hell no.”
“And now the die is cast and the Rubicon has been crossed,” I waxed poetic. “I know I did something that screwed a lot of people over, Holly. If anyone other than us finds out about what I did, I’m absolutely screwed. I really don’t know what to say; I was pissed at how they treated people, and not just you and me. I saw a way I could get back at them and keep you from getting hurt at the same time. I know you said you were prepared to face this, but at the same time you deserve better than to fall on your sword for these pricks.”
Holly remained silent for a moment, a thoughtful expression on her features. She bit her lip before looking up at me, her blue eyes gazing into mine with that same intensity as before. “Adam,” she began, “do you really think that Katie wouldn’t have used this to get back at us, even if you stood me up like she asked you to do? She would have found something to use against you, I guarantee it.”
I shrugged. “Holly, this was in the heat of the moment,” I explained. “I was pissed at how Katie, Ryan, and Matt were getting away with ruining people. I could have wiped the entire card and told nobody.”
Holly shook her head. “We don’t know if Katie has other copies,” she pointed out. “However, doing this like you did will probably make her and Ryan think that Matt’s the reason why the memory card was found; they’ll assume he was careless and got them all in trouble. Some of the other people who got in trouble over this are going to blame Katie, so I think her days of being top dog are over.”
I opened my mouth to speak, but Holly shook her head. “What you did went way above and beyond. I don’t think I’ve ever had anyone go to bat for me like this,” her hand tightened around mine as she leaned closer, her voice quivering with nervousness. “I know this is crossing a line, but you need to know exactly where you stand with me…”
Holly closed her eyes. Before I could react I felt her lips press against mine; soft and pliant and electric, a sweet hint of vanilla carrying over as they parted ever so slightly. I was too shocked to react other than closing my eyes in return. She held the unexpected kiss for a moment longer; a moment that felt instantaneous and eternal all at once. She hesitantly stopped; her lips close enough to brush against mine as she spoke. “I hope you understand that my crush on you never really went away.”
My mind was swirling with confusion and sensation; a wall of resistance that I had spent nearly a year building up threatening to crumble. “You really want to do this, Holly?”
“I wouldn’t be kissing you if I didn’t.” Her lips fell against mine again, this time far less chastely; I surprised myself by pressing into her. At some point her arms wrapped around my waist, our lips parting against each other as we broke that boundary between friends and something more. A small part of my mind was screaming at me that this was wrong, that I shouldn’t be doing this; the sensation of Holly’s lips nibbling softly upon mine buried it.
She pulled away again; her soft blue eyes gazing into mine with a warmth that I hadn’t experienced for nearly a year. It was a mixture of excitement and longing that hit me, along with a tinge of sorrow that I pushed aside. Decisions had been made, both on my part and on Holly’s. I found myself smiling back at her. “I wasn’t expecting that,” I breathed. “I was expecting a different reaction.”
“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that,” she confessed, a deeper blush coming to her cheeks. “I was afraid at what would happen if you pushed me away.” She drew me into a tight embrace; her head tucked into my shoulder. With the awkwardness of not really knowing what to do, I wrapped my arms around her as well; content to let that embrace continue as long as she wanted it to.
“I can’t lie to you,” I admitted as I held her. “I wasn’t ready for this when we first met. I’m still not quite ready, but I’ll follow your lead.”
“I know you’re still hurting,” she replied, her voice almost cracking. “I don’t like to show it but I am, too. I don’t want to replace Megan. If nothing else, please understand that. Just let me in a little bit?”
“I’ll try,” I promised. “I’ll do my best not to hurt you. I just want to go slowly, especially while we figure this out?”
“As slowly as you want, hon,” Holly clung even more tightly to me. “Is it okay if I tell people we’re dating? It might be awkward if I have to tell my dad you’re just a friend when it’s obvious you’re kinda more than that.”
My more mischievous side won out as I nodded; she would have to wait until tomorrow to find out I had already met her dad. “My only condition is that we keep this from Julie,” I acceded. “I’d rather she get the surprise for once.”
“I’m sure we’ll find some entertaining way to break it to her,” Holly murmured as she held onto me. “Again, thank you for everything you’ve done for me over the past month. I feel free again.”
She pulled away slightly, a soft smile on her lips. Unfortunately, the harsh tone of the bell broke our concentration. “Dammit,” she sighed. “I gotta get to Trig; final grades are being posted today. Prom starts at six-thirty; pick me up at five-thirty?”
Holly leaned forward, pressing her lips against mine in a brief yet passionate kiss; her tongue flitting against mine for the briefest of moments before she let go. I was left practically speechless as she picked her backpack up from the table, giving me a wink as she made her way to the door. “See you tomorrow, cutie.”
After she left I sat back down in stunned silence, listening to the noise of students heading for their next class. I scanned the room, taking in the tables full of neatly stacked laptops, desktops, and other equipment. It had been a good gig, and this room had given me a bunch of memories I never figured it would give. The extracurricular ‘job’ I had taken to distract myself from Megan’s death had ended up with my growing closer to Holly.
My feelings were still slightly conflicted, but they were mostly positive. Maybe I really was on the mend, and I was actually looking forward to an event I never thought I would ever look forward to. As the passing period ended and the halls cleared out I left the storeroom. I would miss this place.