Ch. 86
Imported from SF2 with no description.
Wendy
It was a lot to take in, when he told me what he knew. I mean, I couldn't say I was as surprised as he was, but it was still a lot to be made to acknowledge. In a strange way I felt like I was responsible for the same thing. The same kind of thoughts and behaviors that made it possible for pokemon to be made into victims. It was a gross feeling, one I knew wouldn't wash off so easily. I knew in my heart I'd have never done anything to hurt my friends. I knew that, right?
Then again, hadn't I just the other day been indulging in fantasies of Sprinter giving my best friend a good time? Shamelessly wishing I could get the two in bed together, with each other? With me? Dreaming up ways to make it happen just to satisfy some fantasy of mine? Could I really say I wouldn't have taken advantage if a situation came up that would have let me, at the time?
I knew I'd gone a bit too far, even though I hadn't caused or meant any harm. I wasn't sure how to take it back, or make up for it, but I felt like I needed to, anyway. So I confessed it to my best friend, as he sat on the other end of the video call, wrapped up in his sylveon's ribbons. Mira looked shocked, but didn't openly express any negativity.
I supposed I should have thanked her trainer for that; I should have known he'd have laughed and said it was hot to think about. I don't know why I thought it'd be any different. It was a relief he wasn't mad at me. He honestly seemed to consider it, and shrugged indifferently. "Could be fun, why not?" He asked with a playful wink. "But I'm gonna pass on Staccato, if it's all the same to you."
He sighed, and pinched the bridge of his nose, a long moment of quiet passing as he mulled things over more seriously. "I'm probably never going to be mad at you for something you thought, Wendy." He reassured me with a smile. "It's not like I haven't had a few thoughts of my own that would raise questions." He admitted, looking me in the eye via the camera lens again. "Either way, I think I'm not the one you should apologize to, Wendy. Sprinter's right there with you, I think he deserves honesty from you." He said, at the end of the call. I hated to admit it, but he was right. I could only hope my lopunny would be as forgiving.
His pokeball felt like an immense weight in my hand as I stared at it later on. But I knew it wasn't going to get any better by waiting around for it to do so. I just had to face it head on. Own up to the mess I was making. I hit the button, and as Sprinter looked around, before sitting next to me, I felt like a traitor all over again. Words fell silent and my tongue felt dry, and for a moment I couldn't even breathe.
He needed the truth from me, and I felt sick with guilt.
Sprinter - Wendy's Lopunny
I pretended to be offended, at first. It seemed like the funny thing to do, but honestly the way she flinched made me feel like I'd just kicked a meowth, so I relented. I knew she couldn't understand me enough for me to just tell her what I thought, so I grabbed her tablet and called him back. She stared, trying to puzzle out what was going on, but I wasn't about to leave it a mystery.
I made show of giving him a once over, then knelt down, held the tablet up, and opened my mouth.
There's a lot of stereotypes about lopunnies in general, and I knew I didn't help any of them in the moment, but the look on her face was priceless. His too, honestly. I didn't even know she could blush that hard. It looked like she was about to turn into a haban berry! More importantly, I could see the tension drain out of her shoulders, out of her face. She was my friend and I wasn't going to let her feel anguish over something she didn't do to me.
She might not have understood my words, but I knew she'd understand I was pointing and laughing at her. She got mad, but she also hugged me tight. Tighter than she ever had before, even in the moments we were sharing a bed. I could feel her relief, and I shared it. I finally understood, as she sobbed and squeezed me tight against her; she cared enough about what I felt that she felt guilt and shame for a fantasy. I mattered to her, more than just for the sake of league battles and sex. I actually mattered to her. I didn't understand just how much so, before. But I'd make sure it meant something. I'd make sure she could rely on me.
As for her friend... I didn't know the whole story, but he was special to her, and that was good enough for me. He was cute, and I'd have let him have his fun if he wanted, just to make her happy. Or maybe for the fun of it, personally. But I didn't know him well enough to say more than that. He wasn't unattractive, as far as humans went, but it'd be like fucking a complete stranger. Not the first time I'd done so, but I wasn't about to pretend I was in love. I'd rather fake an orgasm.
I knew she'd been planning on taking us all out to where he was. She kept showing me pictures of the islands. I'd have preferred somewhere cold and icy. I was a winter hare at heart. Besides, it would have made better cuddling weather for my favorite fire type friend.
Can't win them all.
Alcyon - Lapras of Alola
Sharon and I talked it to death, argued about it, even cried a little. I thought I recognized her haunter, the smirk anyway. Shizuka lurked quietly mostly, but chimed in here and there with sharp opinions and pointed words. Sharon's zoroark was a little gentler, and seemed more concerned with the idea of us moving on, rather than dwelling on what led us to this point to begin with. I couldn't hate it, but I felt like he just didn't understand the way we did.
Still, Sharon and I were on speaking terms again at least. I didn't blame her. I understood she had been little more than an awkward, gangling teenager at the time. That it hadn't been easier on her than it was on me, all these years. It wasn't her fault she didn't save the world. She'd been browbeaten into submission long before I ever entered the picture. Even if neither of us realized that at the time.
She cried, I cried, we both mourned together. I was as exhausted as she was when we made it back to shore. We sat at the water's edge together, and for a long time just stared out over the sea as it fell dark. I wanted to say something. I knew she did, too. But the moment came and went with neither of us knowing just what we could have said that would have helped.
Still, I had learned a lot. About who she was, despite it all. Who she was trying to be, even though the world seemed hell bent on kicking her while she was down, again and again. I could respect it. She was tenacious in her own way. For all she was torn to pieces, inside, the girl was a fighter. Maybe more than I was.
Definitely more than I was.
I understood, a little, what she must have gone through. I could understand in some ways what it must have felt like being measured against her sister and being found unworthy, again and again, her whole life. The way that must have shattered her, broke her down piece by piece until this desperate, awkward woman was all that was left. Afraid of her own shadow, and desperate for someone to acknowledge her.
In a way I almost felt guilty. As alone as I thought I was, felt I was, all that time... hers was a deeper loneliness than I'd ever imagined. And she was still here. And she was still trying. And she was still searching for love, and acceptance, and hope.
And it was with that in mind I found myself face to face with my new friend the next morning, before anyone else was awake.
Trainer
I was still torn. Still indecisive. A stack full of pamphlets featuring colorful pictures and inviting words drawing attention to the contest halls, cheery and warm weighed heavily in my hand. I had wanted so much to give Tempest a chance at her dream. To let her experience it, to spend the time practicing with her, helping her overcome whatever obstacles there might have been.
When Alcyon pulled herself to my side in the early morning light, I found myself leaning against her automatically. As if I'd been waiting just for that closeness. She rested her head atop mine in a gentle way, from beside the bench I sat on, and for a time neither of us said anything.
Finally she sighed, and broke the silence, craning her head to look at me. "So I need something from you." She said, in a surprisingly blunt and direct way. "I need to know what you really feel about Sharon. I need to know so I can protect her from herself." She said looking away. "I don't care one way or the other, understand. I'm not asking you to feel anything, I just need to know so I can protect her from her."
It was a fair question, and one I honestly should have considered before now. I took a few moments, and tried to gather my thoughts. Such as they were. "Hard to say." I admitted, after a moment. "I feel like she wants something I can't offer her. I feel like she'd settle for what I can, because she thinks it's the best she can hope for."
"I don't hate her, but I'm not in love with her. She's attractive enough, she's not a bad person, at least that I know of." I said, as I looked to the sky, trying to puzzle it all out on the spot. "But I don't love her the way I love my pokemon. I don't feel for her even the way I cherish my best friend." I said, with a soft sigh. "I'm sorry. I don't have feelings for her one way or the other for Sharon. I don't think I'm allowed to, honestly."
"I don't think she's someone who will ever fully accept what I feel for my pokemon family." I explained, as much for my own benefit as for Alcyon's. "I know she'd struggle with having to share my love with all of them. Doubly so to share my attention with Wendy. That makes us a bad fit. Not bad people, just a bad fit. Wrong for each other in some serious ways, romantically. I think it would be cruel of me to claim to love her, when I know damn well I can't be who she wishes I was. She's looking for 'the one', and I don't believe in it as a concept."
"I'm sorry, I know that's not what you were hoping to hear, was it?" I apologized again and asked, without looking up. "I'm fine with being her friend, but I'd just hurt her, I think. Something tells me she'd shave herself down, piece by piece to fit me, and that's not love. That's a drowning girl clinging to flotsam. I'd be a bastard to take advantage of her like that. An absolute monster."
Alcyon was quiet for a moment as I laid my thoughts out, but then craned her head to meet my gaze. "You must be the most serious human I have ever met. What the hell?" She teased before nudging me with her head gently. "But thank you. For taking it seriously. For caring about her." Alcyon leaned her head against me for a long moment. "You're something special... and I'm sad she won't get to have that. But you're right. You're right."
She sighed from above me but somehow I felt like there was a smile in it, before she turned her gaze back to the cheap room we'd rented. There was a bit of a clamor, but then the door slid open, Sharon shuffling tiredly toward us, rubbing the sleep from her eyes as her haunter floated through the wall. Alcyon leaned in close and said softly to me. "Life is full of surprises. I'm glad you are one of mine."
Sharon
It was too early to be awake. His lycanroc had stirred, and begun to brew coffee. The smell of it woke me up, and I shuffled out to greet him. It wasn't long before we were all sitting together, Tempest had brought us both a cup and I was never more grateful for the friendship they shared. My mind was still a whirlwind, but it was all clearly going in one direction as I sipped my coffee and thought it through.
Zorah had come along, Shizuka in tow, he was clearly much more ready to face the day than she was, her grudging little growls becoming an utterance of profanities as he got close enough to me for his illusion to take hold of me. "I was sleeping so well, too. What the hell, you bastard?" She asked, in a huff as he winked at her and said some early hours wouldn't hurt her.
As I turned to my friend and his lycanroc again, I'd begun to ask a question, but he spoke up before I'd said more than half a words, unaware I had done so, as he looked at Tempest. "How do you feel about picking a fight?" He asked, which immediately shattered my own slowly forming words. He smiled, and shrugged, and in the morning light I found myself admiring him again. "I don't know if we'll win, hell, the contest is rigged. But how do you feel about picking a fight anyway?" He asked, as she turned her gaze to him in surprise.
"I was about to ask the same thing." I admitted, as I reached up to take Zorah's hand in mine, looking for reassurance from him that he offered immediately. "I can't leave it alone. I don't know what I can change, but I can't leave it alone and pretend it's not happening anymore. Please help me. Help us. Help all of us." I pleaded.
I spent the next few moments gazing into my coffee, trying not to let my tears fall into it. "I'm sorry. I have no right to ask. It's not your problem, it's not your fight to pick. But I can't do anything alone, can I?" I asked as a fresh wave of tension knotted my shoulders. "I need your help."
Tempest hugged me tight and it felt like she could've crushed me in her arms if she wanted to. "So we'll help. Simple as that." She reassured me, as she let go. I wished she hadn't. It felt so safe just being held close. As she settled in at his side, I looked to the pamphlets in his hand. "I want to make those true again. I can't tell you how many times I've read them. I could recite them from rote memory at this point. Full of lies. Omissions. Covering up the rot and the horror. It's enough to make me sick."
Somewhere in the middle of it, his absol and weavile had appeared at his side, each looking to the pamphlets in his hand, then to each other. Then to Shizuka with an unsettling grin. "We're going to be busy, aren't we?" The weavile asked, with a vicious smile. "I like busy."
Helena - Trainer's Absol
I knew it was coming, and it sucked I didn't get the luxury of an 'I told you so'. But he'd needed to come to the conclusion himself or he wouldn't believe in it. Wouldn't fight for it as hard. Still, I didn't like our odds. My horn liked them even less, I could feel so much frustration, so much anger. Only the tiniest hint of satisfaction, and even it was laced with grudging sentiment.
I didn't share Sybil's enthusiasm for being busy, but I knew she and I were the right ones to keep him safe in the middle of all of it. Tempest was about as subtle as a brick through a window. He needed us to look out for him in the quiet ways. We would be very busy.
"We'll still need a plan. And no offense, Tempest... if you're going to take center stage, you'd better start getting dance lessons... and hope for a miracle about your voice." I said, giving her a playful little swat. "Either that or we turn this in to the most metal performance anyone's ever seen, which ... actually isn't the worst idea I've ever spouted off with."
"Funny, but no." Tempest replied, with a growling laugh. "I don't think we should focus on the contest hall's regular competition anyway." She said, reaching down to pluck a pamphlet from his hand. "If we're going to do this, it's all or nothing. We should find a way to get a performance on the monthly main stage. There's no point if people forget it ever happened."
Sharon nodded thoughtfully, and looked between us. "I could get you on that stage. My name still means something there. But if we're going to do this, it's going to mean blood, sweat, and tears. We can't half-ass it or she'll eat us alive." She looked to master, and for a moment, I saw in her eyes a kind of fierceness I didn't know she had in her. This was her world we were walking into, and I understood that plain as day now. "You haven't ever had a fight like this before, and you're not ready. But I know someone who can make you ready. But she's not going to be nice to you, she's going to teach you. Or kill you trying."
That sounded promising. Painful. But promising. Still, nowhere in my horn had I ever felt my lover waver, he was as resolute as he ever was. "Right, these contests require pokemon and trainers performing together. I'm in. We still need to settle a lot of details, but we can work on it as we go. I assume you have other friends to help us with the things we don't have. We can start with what we do have though."
He stood up, and finished his coffee, I could smell the warmth of it lingering in the air for a moment as he turned his attention back to the room. "We should gather our things and get moving. Let's go meet this friend of yours." He said, as decisive as ever. I loved and hated that about him sometimes. But I couldn't deny how easily I got swept up in his mood, I found myself walking behind him without realizing I'd even done so. It was as instinctive as breathing, and realizing that was alarming. Yet somehow I also felt a warmth in my chest from it. I didn't question it. I knew exactly where I belonged. It was a good feeling.
Madman he was, there was no delay between finding a course and moving toward it. I'd have to remind him to have some fun, but... later. I'd been denied the past couple of nights, but if I had to drag him out by the scruff of his neck, tonight he was mine!