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Humanity; Lost

Chapter Three

© Cederwyn Whitefurr

21st January, 2024.

All Rights Reserved.

Elara, her heart pounding, rushed to Becky's side as the young woman recoiled at the sight of Alex. The kangaroo, once her boyfriend, now crouched nearby, his eyes reflecting both pain and the tearful confusion of a lost soul.

“Becky, I... I didn't know how to tell you," Elara murmured, her voice heavy with the weight of the situation. “When... when..."

Becky's gaze shifted from Elara to Alex, her eyes filled with a mixture of terror, grief, and disbelief. She struggled to find words, her mind racing to comprehend the surreal scene before her.

“He's still... Alex," Elara whispered a hint of sadness in her voice. “Inside, he's still the person you love."

In the distance, that howl come again, making Alex shriek and cower instinctively, his instincts fearful of the predator.

“Easy, my son - “ Elara whispered, as she placed a comforting hand on Alex's neck. “I'll never let them near you – any of us..."

Becky, caught between shock and sorrow, slowly approached the kangaroo cautiously. Her hand trembled as it extended as if reaching for the echoes of the man she once knew.

In the dim light of a dusty overhead bulb, Alex's eyes met Becky's gaze. The tension in the air was palpable, a thick fog of emotions lingering between them.

“I don't understand..." Becky stammered, her voice a fragile whisper. “How... why?"

Elara, feeling the weight of the unspoken questions, sighed and gestured towards Alex, the invitation there, if Becky had the strength to take it and touch him.

“I'll explain everything I know – I don't think either of you are going to like this..."

As the room hung heavy with the weight of unspoken questions, Elara took a deep breath, her eyes reflecting the burden of the past.

"Becky, Alex" she began, her voice gentle but tinged with a sadness that mirrored the gravity of her words, "there's something you need to know. Something about Alex and the circumstances leading to his... transformation."

Becky, still grappling with the shock of the situation, looked up, her eyes searching for answers.

"Before Alex was born," Elara continued, choosing her words carefully, "I had a connection with someone – someone who was like Alex, but not quite. His father, my husband..."

Elara's voice trailed off, as she dabbed at her eyes and shuddered.

“He?" Becky prompted, glancing at Alex, whose wide-eyed expression and open muzzle revealed his shock.

“He...he was kind, to me – when I needed kindness, gentle, loving, passionate," Elrara continued, wiping at her eyes again. “Yet I – there was something about him, it – transcended the ordinary. Something I couldn't fully understand at the time."

Alex began to quiver, a deep unease settling over him as he sensed the weight of the revelation. He snorted and shook his head violently, refusing to accept what his ears were telling him – and his sense of smell could detect from the Elara's pheromones.

Elara took a moment, her gaze distant as she recalled painful, traumatic memories long buried.

“As I came to know him, I realized, deep down, there was something – elusive – about him. One night, he revealed the truth to me... the night he left..."

Becky's eyes widened, as she started to put the pieces together, looking from the sobbing Elara to Alex, whose own tears trickled down his furred cheeks.

“He...showed me..." Elara wailed, burying her head in her hands as her resolve shattered like crystal. “The...it wasn't a man... He...he..."

“No..." Becky gasped, feeling her stomach twisting.

“Changed..."

With a marsupial squeal of terror, Alex scrambled away, tears blinding him. He bounded forward, crashing heavily against the coffee table and his hind legs skidding from under him, making him fall heavily before he leaped up and fled, his choking wails echoing back before fading away into the darkness beyond the cottage.

“Alex!" Becky screamed, leaping up and running to the door. “Alex...please – come back..."

Only her voice, fading with the distance, was heard...

*

Hours later, bolstered with a strong cup of tea she clutched between her trembling hands, Elara continued her tale.

“It...He... became as Alex is now. He was no ordinary kangaroo," Came her wavering voice. “He possessed sentience, an awareness that went beyond... Everything! We shared a connection, through our love – before he... revealed himself – it transcended the boundaries of the ordinary."

Becky's eyes widened, a mix of confusion and curiosity fighting for supremacy on her face.

“He was...more than an ordinary kangaroo; he was a sentient being, capable of understanding and feeling on a level I can not even begin to fathom," Elara explained, then took a sip from her tea and shuddered. “We had... a connection, it was more than that, it surpassed the physical. It was consensual, spiritual, and yet...complicated."

A heavy silence settled in the room, the weight of Elara's revelation hanging in the air.

Becky sniffled, eyes fearful as she set her teacup down with quivering fingers. “He..."

With a gasp, Elara's eyes went wide. “No... no, he...he never..."

“What...happened to him?"

Elara's eyes welled up again, as she looked away and let the tears flow freely. “When... I found out I was pregnant... to a... with Alex -"

Becky didn't want to hear, but she didn't want to not hear, either – torn with her indecision, she could only sit and listen.

“He... he just left me. He didn't say a word, just turned and hopped straight out that door – I don't know what happened to him, I swear, I searched and searched for days – weeks – even months, occasionally finding a footprint or..."

Becky shuddered, the grief coming from Elara was strong and palpable.

“What...what does that mean... for your son – for Alex?" Becky finally managed to ask, her voice fragile and filled with a mixture of sickened horror and disbelief at everything she'd heard.

Elara sighed, then wiped at her cheeks with her hands.

“It..." She began, then took a few breaths. “It means, that Alex carries within him a – heritage – I can never understand. His father, much like him, was a sentient creature. The...transformation he's undergone is not a random occurrence It must be part of something deeper, something that... borders on the unnatural."

As her words trailed away, Elara once more buried her head in her hands, her sobbing silent, as years of suppressed emotions overflowed. Becky was helpless – unable to comprehend, wracked with her guilt and disbelief at everything she had seen – and heard – this night.

*

Having spent half the night out in the darkness, searching for Alex, Elara put her faith in the gods, before she returned inside and in her exhausted, emotional state, collapsed onto the couch and slept – her thoughts haunted and worried.

*

As the first light of dawn painted the sky with hues of pink and gold, Elara, driven by an elusive memory, ventured out into the early morning, her shoes growing wet with the morning dew that clung to the grass through which she moved. Crisp air, almost biting, carried with it the scents of the natural world and the quiet calls of the distant cattle and birds that fluttered about.

A sense of familiarity began to drive her, guiding her like an invisible leash affixed around her neck. Her eyes scanned the fields and even the ground, for even a trace of a kangaroo's footprint – Elara looked up and blinked. Her seemingly random wandering had led her almost to the edges of her mother's farm – to a place that brought back memories of a happier, carefree time...

Nearby, she heard the mystical voice of the clear, spring-fed stream, the large weeping willow, its branches hanging limply, dark green leaves almost caressing the water that trickled past.

Her heart, heavy with the weight of what she had shared last night, urged her forwards. Parting the fronds, she caught a glimpse of greyish-brown fur, before she fully moved beneath the shady canopy and looked down at Alex, who lay with one leg crossed over the other, his upper body upright. Laying as he was, his back to the tree, he was a poignant reflection of misery and vulnerability. At the sight of her, he looked away and his ears flattened.

Elara's gaze softened as she crouched down, her hand reaching out to stroke his fur in a gentle caress. With a bestial cough, he slashed his left paw at her, before Elara gasped then slapped him sharply across the muzzle, snapping his head to the side. He froze, before ever so slowly turning his head back to look at her, his ears slicking back and eyes widening.

“I - “ Elara began. “I should..."

Without warning, Alex grabbed her and pulled her roughly down, burying his muzzle against her chest as he began to sob heartbrokenly – his body shaking with the cold from the night before and the stress that threatened to overwhelm him. Elara wrapped her arms around him, trying to soothe and comfort him as he continued shivering.

“I'm sorry my love - “ Elara murmured, holding the back of his head against her breasts, as she began to weep. “I should have told you when you were old enough... I was scared, that you would - “

His voice, badly broken with his clicks and sobs, filled her ears. “...ate you..."

Elara took a moment before she shivered herself and pulled him closer, laying herself down and pulling his furred, damp body hard against hers, trying to warm him.

“Yes..." Elara sniffled. “I was afraid, you'd hate me. Or worse – you'd just – turn away from me, think of me as some – monster, or worse..."

Clutching her tight, splaying his claws out, Alex cuddled her tighter, reaffirming their bond between mother and son in this simple gesture.

“It's alright, you're safe, it's okay..." Elara murmured, wincing at the sharp claws pricking her flesh, but willing to suffer to show her love for him. “We were worried... but I..."

He sniffled, pulling his head back at a distressing angle, his lips trembling, as he opened his muzzle and Elara watched him.

“Urt...cared - “ Alex sniffled again, then timidly pulled his arms away.

“I understand, I do – you were hurt and scared. No, I didn't know she was coming – it was a shock to me as well. Then me just... You need to hear this my son – as painful as it is, and I never wished to cause you any pain, but you must know the truth."

He tried to pull away, but Elara gripped his forearms and held him.

“Please – stay with me, be here, in the moment, with me... I know you're scared, confused and – you have every right to be, but you must know. You're old enough to hear the truth of myself – and your father."

Alexander shook his head violently, trying, again, to pull away from her grasp.

“Please..." Elara pleaded, holding his forearms firm, gazing into his deep brown eyes. Her gaze held him, and with a twitch of an ear, then a submissive cough, the tension drained away and he visibly relaxed, his tense muscles loosening.

“I'm not surprised - “ Elara began, reaching out and tenderly caressing his furred cheek, holding his gaze. “You were drawn here..."

His whiskers twitched slightly, his ears slowly pricking forward again.

“It was here...your father and I first consummated our love... and where, later – he proposed to me – almost here, on this very spot..."

Alex's ears began to flatten, his eyes conveying his growing shock.

With a weak laugh, Elara shook her head. “No, my son... He was... like me – human, or so I thought at the time..."

For the next two hours, Elara opened herself to him – heart and soul, holding nothing back – the scared and eventually, crying, Kangaroo absorbing every word as his fragile heart shattered into a thousand pieces within his chest.

*

As the sun climbed higher in the sky, casting its warmth over the fields, Elara held Alex in a protective embrace. His trembling and mournful, heartbreaking sobs and shivering body slowly relaxed the tension that had gripped him slowly ebbing away. Elara kissed him tenderly on the bridge of his muzzle, then nodded in understanding.

“I never meant to keep this from you," Elara repeated, her voice a whisper. “I was scared, Alex. Scared of revealing the truth, what I'd done – what you might become...would drive you away, or worse."

Alex, still nestled against her, listened attentively, his ears twitching. His eyes, once filled with fear and confusion, now had a mixture of sadness and growing curiosity. As the pain of the revelation from the night before lingered, at least now, he began to mesh these new thoughts and memories into a cohesive whole in his mind.

“...oved ou..." come his weak murmurs.

“He did...yes – and I love him still. When he left, I was devastated." Elara continued, her fingers absentmindedly tracing patterns on the fur of Alex's back. “I searched for him for months – but he had vanished without a trace. It wasn't until later after you were born – did I give up hope of finding him - “

She took a shuddering breath, the weight of her memories crushing down on her chest like a heavyweight. “He wasn't a man. He was just like you, a sentient soul – inhabiting the body of a kangaroo. A creature of feeling, compassion – all the human qualities that are good, joyous things..."

Alex's ears twitched, as he listened quietly. More and more, pieces of the puzzle slowly clicked together in his mind, albeit forming a picture he hadn't expected.

“I loved him, Alex, just as I love you," Elara confessed, her voice wavering a little. “But when I discovered I was with child, he... left. I think, now, twenty-something years later, I truly understand. It wasn't out of cruelty, or malice – he was afraid – afraid of whatever had befallen him... would carry forward – and it did, in a beautiful, intelligent, and handsome kangaroo – you. The gift of his love and warmth – lives on through you."

Tears began to well up in Alex's eyes, mirroring the sorrow etched on Elara's face. Their shared pain between mother and son become a bridge of understanding and mutual acceptance, binding them in ways neither of them could truly express.

As the sun's muted rays cast dappled shadows through the willow branches, Elara felt a tremendous weight lifted from her heart. Her burden of secrets was finally lifted from her, and with a nervous cough, Alex licked her cheek tenderly.

“I... do not understand," Elara began. “What caused your - “

Her fingers gestured at his marsupial form.

“I believe – it's connected, through your father. Through his genetics, to something – beyond the ordinary. I only wish I had answers, my son."

Alex, though still haunted by his nightmares the night before, found a spark of hope and acceptance within him. Mentally cupping his paws around it, he cradled and cherished that spark, directing warm thoughts toward it and slowly watching it glow brighter.

With a sigh, Elara gently disengaged from Alex, then stood up, holding her hands out to him. With a submissive cough, he pushed himself up, shaking himself off. As Elara held aside the branches of the willow, Alex crouched down and timidly crawled out, gazing around, his ears twitching and eyes looking everywhere in a natural response to being out in the open.

“Come on son, you must be tired and hungry, lets get you home and fed, then you can go sleep if you wish."

With a grateful series of grunts and clicks, Alex tenderly nuzzled Elara and began crawling, before adopting a much more comfortable hopping.

*

As Alex and Elara made their way back to the cottage, the sun had moved and the heat grew almost stifling. By the time they stepped onto the shaded porch, Alex was panting and quickly moved to the bowl of water, which he drank thirstily from – then licked the last of the droplets up with his slender tongue.

Elara walked inside, wiping a hand across her brow and shuddering, before Becky nervously looked out from the kitchen. Her eyes were puffy from tears and her expression held a mix of confusion and trepidation.

“Is...he..." Becky's nervous voice was a barely perceptible whisper.

“He's fine – I found him. He's outside, probably lying down in the shade.

“Can... is he..."

Elara gave the frightened woman a gentle hug. “Go slowly with him Becky, I know you're scared – but please, try to be brave. He... he can sense, or smell – our fear, and it'll make him scared. So, please – be careful. He's been – through a lot, for both of you."

Becky nodded, then went and washed her face, before she dried it and nervously approached the door. Becky hesitated at the threshold of the porch, her heart pounding in her chest like a manic drummer. Alex lay peacefully in the shade, his ears occasionally flicking an instinctive awareness of the world around him. Elara stood beside her, a reassuring presence, urging her to step out onto the porch with a gentle nod.

“Becky? I know this is overwhelming for you – and him, but please, give him a chance. He's still the person you knew and loved."

Becky hesitated, glancing at Alex, then at Elara. “I...I don't even know where to begin. How... how is it possible?"

Elara shook her head slowly. “I think, through who – what – his father was. He can understand us, and in his way, he's trying to communicate. He can talk, but it... it takes a lot of effort for him. I do not know if he'll ever truly speak – or even if it's possible."

Carefully, she took some tentative steps out onto the porch, then towards the kangaroo, a whirlwind of emotions churning within her. Memories of the man she had loved, now supposedly, still within this buck, who lifted his upper body and looked at her. She tried to steady her trembling hands as she reached out to touch him.

Alex, watching her approach, tilted his head, his gaze meeting hers. His eyes, still holding a glimmer of the person she once knew, conveyed his emotional vulnerability and recognition.

Elara spoke quietly, breaking the tense silence between the three of them.

“Becky, go slowly. He can sense your emotions. If you're scared, he'll be scared as well. Just be gentle."

Taking a deep breath, Becky crouched down beside Alex. His left ear swished backward momentarily, a gesture Becky assumed was an acknowledgment of her presence. A little more braver, she reached out her hand, her fingers inching closer to the kangaroo's fur.

A sudden cough from Alex made her recoil, fear flashing in her eyes. Elara placed a hand on her, then shook her head.

“Easy Becky, that's a submission cough. He won't hurt you. Try patting him, he'll like that."

Tentatively, Becky extended her hand again, and this time, Alex responded by rising and leaning into her touch. His fur, warm beneath her fingertips, offered comfort.

With a series of grunts, clicks, and growls, Alex's head moved forward, surprising Becky by playfully nibbling with his furred lips at her earlobe. A giggle escaped her lips, recognizing a gesture that had unmistakably been his – and the ticklish whiskers.

Overwhelmed by the realization that the essence of the man she had loved persisted in this unexpected form, Becky dropped to her knees, embracing the kangaroo in a crushing hug. Alex twitched, but allowed himself to be enveloped in her arms, as both Becky and then Alex, let their relief flow in the tears that streaked down their cheeks – both certain they had lost each other forever... and in in their shared relief of finding each other again.

TO BE CONTINUED...