Archetype (June and Calliyan in The Fall)
The sapiogen interstellar community is in tatters. The future of spacefaring Terran life, if there should be a future at all, looks bleak. After centuries of prosperity, successive wars amongst corporations culminated in a sudden attack by an unknown alien force, decimating populations and destroying resources and supply lines. As the last freighters arrive on surviving worlds, denizens are just beginning to see the effects of their newly isolated society, and some with the power to do so are preparing for the long winter ahead. In the midst of all this, others are still trying to learn who they truly are, and cling to love and a sense of self before it all disappears to dust around them.
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Archetype (June and Calliyan in The Fall)
Her head rested upon his chest, rocking slightly as the old car rattled down a neglected, back-country road. His left hand ran through her hair, considering each strand as he drew them out through his fingertips, while his right gripped the steering wheel just above a familiar crack in the sun-bleached leather.
Each breath the woman took was slow, relaxed—he could feel them against his skin as she slept. The peace he felt then, fleeting as it may ultimately be, was enough to last a lifetime. So strong was the feeling of contentment that he was able to push his worries aside; his fears, his baneful knowledge too—to focus only on this moment, his sleeping lover, his still full heart, and this torn bench seat they shared alone, in the dark.
So much had changed in the past few hours, he considered silently. He knew, and he was sure she knew as well, that the course of their lives had been forever altered by what had happened, and the moment they shared together. But what is a moment, anyway, but an arbitrary point in the endless sea of time? And what is time, but a mere figment of this impossible universe? This fictional universe. This menagerie of thoughts and dreams, cobbled together to create everything they ever wanted. To create one moment in a make-believe ocean of boundless time, just for them.
He stopped the car, pulling to the side of the road just far enough that two of the tires ran into the gravel shoulder. June stirred, nuzzling into him further, but did not lift her tired head.
“Are we there?" She asked softly, her voice muffled against his fur.
“Do you want to be?" He responded, matching her tone. Her response was only a gentle shake of the head.
“Five more minutes, then," he said after a second or two. It's not like it really mattered anyway—what's done is done. Not five minutes, five days, or even five years could change that.
This thought, the thought of consequences, was enough to bring back a hint of the fear that had been so thoroughly dispelled just minutes before. He hated that he left that way, even for a moment. This was the right choice. All he could hope was that she felt the same.
THREE DAYS EARLIER
“You sure about this?" The caniform asked, sitting in front of his computer, headphones placed awkwardly over his pointed lupine ears.
“I made up my mind," replied a feminine voice from the other end of the call. “We won't get in trouble. No one will find out. Now, come on. I… I really need you to do this."
There was a genuine plea to her voice—a sort of urgency that couldn't be embellished. He knew she meant it, and that's what worried him most of all.
With a sigh, the man turned to look at the large crate next to his desk. The logo of the Dynoterm Corporation was emblazoned on each side, save for the one he'd hastily replaced with scraps of cardboard and packing tape.
“Okay," he said with trepidation, clenching his first to firm his resolve, “I'll be there in twenty minutes. I'm just going to leave it outside your door, no need to come out. It'll be less suspicious that way. Like you're just getting a regular old package or something."
A squeak of excitement pierced his eardrums and he pulled his headphones away instinctively. “Oh my gods, thank you Cal. Thank you!"
The corners of his mouth turned up in a slight smile as he remembered in an instant the reason he'd agreed to take this risk. “It's nothing. Talk to you in an hour when I'm back home."
With that, he pulled his headset off, rolled his chair from his desk, and stood up. For a moment the lithe, husky-like terran man contemplated whether he should put some nicer clothes on for the drive. What if she should look out a window and see him? After all, despite living in the same city, the two had only ever conversed by text and voice calls. But no, that was just him being silly and overthinking things as usual. What good would that do anyhow? He was married, she was soon to be. It's not like he needed to look attractive to her. It's not like it mattered.
Calliyan entered the bedroom and stepped to his closet door, flinging it open with a sudden determination. His eyes darted across the small space, nearly full with hanging business casual clothing organized into meticulously matched outfits. Towards the middle were his most often chosen fits, and from these he quickly grabbed his favorite shirt, a nice pair of slacks, and the tie his husband had recently bought him on his birthday. He stared at this final item for a moment before returning it to its hangar. Too formal, he decided.
Rushing to the mirror, the caniform quickly stripped to his underwear and stood for a moment, attempting to regain his composure as the humanoid in the reflection stared back at him. Bright green eyes beset in dark circles of fur that flowed to patterns of umber, creamy white, and gray seemed to drill into his thoughts accusingly. His husband's eyes were much the same, and he found himself averting from his own gaze with a sudden irrational stab of anxiety. Sighing, he ran a clawed hand through his thick black head hair, then across the fur of his chest and arms brush out the minor clumping and matting that always comes from wearing form-fitting clothing atop a thick coat of fur. Again, Calliyan reminded himself that it didn't matter. He'd drop the box off, she'd stay inside, and if all went well they'd probably never get so much as a glance at each other.
Shaking his head to snap himself out of his reverie, the caniform hurried to get dressed and head for the door, nearly forgetting the cobbled-together package in the process. With an exasperated groan he ran back to his office, lugging the heavy wooden box with both arms and stumbling past the threshold to his car. He was off down the street a moment later, crate secured in the trunk and yellow headlights illuminating the sparsely lit suburban road.
No sooner than turning the corner to the wide provincial highway did he get the first pang of guilt, twisting his stomach into a tight knot. This feels so wrong, he thought to himself. Lowering the driver's window, he let the rush of the wind and whir of the engine quiet twin voices of guilt and anxiety in his mind.
It should go without saying that Cal had never cheated on Charlie, the warm and affectionate procyform he'd been so lucky to be married to for nearly three years now. He never wanted to; he never planned to. He couldn't imagine anyone that could drive him and the raccoon apart, and besides, that's not what this was about anyway. Still, it felt a bit too much like that. Sneaking out while his husband was at work to visit someone else in the dead of night, even briefly, felt like a violation of their mutual trust. Not to mention the contents of the crate. If Charlie ever found out what he'd done… well, maybe he could be made to understand, if he knew the full story.
The flashing lights of a Sector Security patrol became visible up ahead after rounding a slight bend, and instinctively Calliyan gently applied the brakes. The corp had been patrolling this area extensively as of late; ever since The Fall. With all offworld travel suspended and hundreds, if not thousands of non-citizens trapped planetside, crime rates around major urban centers had been on the rise as these unfortunate souls struggled to survive.
Driven by his misplaced sense of guilt, Calliyan snapped the wheel to the right, turning abruptly down a narrow side street. The last thing he wanted was to talk to security, even if it was just a friendly conversation. It's not like he was doing anything wrong. Though if they'd happened to see his sudden course correction, they might be understandably suspicious.
He shook his head, and slammed one hand on the cracked leather of the steering wheel.
“What the fuck am I so nervous about. Get yourself together. It's just a gift, that's all. A favor for a friend."
Despite the attempt to snap himself out of it, he felt very much the same for the rest of the drive. Waves of guilt, waves of doubt, waves of fear—on repeat, on repeat. By the time he'd arrived at the address dictated to him by his comm, he was a sweat-drenched, jittery wreck.
Pulling up along the curb, Cal killed the lights and let the car roll to a stop so the squeak of its tired brakes wouldn't give his presence away. There was the house, right where it should be. Somehow he was almost surprised by this, as if it was practically unexpected that the friend he'd known for the past five years actually occupied the same plane of existence as him, and wasn't some sort of computer generated personality existing only in the ether. He chuckled at his own ridiculousness and opened the door, being sure to stay mostly concealed by his vehicle as he went around to the back to grab the crate.
Approaching the door, with both hands occupied and vision partially obscured, he studied the house. It was a single level, with a low, flat roof and white trim. In the dark it was hard to say what color it may be, but that detail was secondary to what he could see through the large windows that lined the front. Inside he could make out a figure peering through the glass, silhouetted against the warm glow of an incandescent light somewhere toward the back of the room. His heart clenched, and he picked up his pace, eager to make his delivery and get back to his car.
Just as he reached the door, however, he heard the turning of a lock. He froze in place, mortified.
What was she thinking? What was she thinking? WHAT WAS SHE THINKING?
The question repeated itself over and over in his mind as the door slowly swung inwards. Standing there meekly, dressed in a sweatshirt and white pajamas, was a human woman.
“Cal?" She asked nervously, taking a step forward.
He nodded.
“Here," she continued quietly, “you can just set that down anywhere. It looks heavy."
He nodded again, setting down the crate at her feet. His eyes met hers as he stood back up. They were violet, and vibrant even in the dim starlight. Her dark hair was pulled into a loose ponytail. She smiled at him, lightly freckled cheeks lifting as she did so to give her face an almost deceivingly youthful roundness. He knew she was twenty six standard years old, just two less than he, but he suddenly found himself taken back to memories of similar late-night encounters during his mischievous secondary school days. All in all, she was not what he expected—not that he could recall now what those expectations may have been.
Finally, after clearing his throat to gain some nerve, the husky spoke.
“Uh, hi June. I wasn't expecting-" Before he could finish his sentence, she stepped forward, embracing him firmly.
“I know. I just… I couldn't let you go without seeing you in person. Sorry if it's weird." She stepped back, looking up at him briefly before averting her eyes downward, pretending to examine the crate. “You look nice, by the way. Going on a date with Charlie?"
“Uh, no. Yes. Already did, I mean. Earlier, before I got on the call with you. Just haven't changed yet, that's all," he lied, unwilling to admit he'd dressed up just for her, in fear he might have to explain why.
“Oh, okay." There was a brief pause as the two stood awkwardly, neither wanting to meet the other's eyes. “Well, thank you again for doing this. I know it seems strange but, this was the only way. Maybe I'll get a chance to explain the rest of the story later."
Cal nodded once more, unsure of what to say.
“Anyway, I'll talk to you later, right Cal?"
“Oh, yeah. Definitely. Goodnight, June."
“Goodnight," she said with a smile, and as he turned away he could hear her dragging the crate inside. Moments later, the door closed with a firm click. Cal turned back to see her standing in the window for a moment before she flitted away, as if embarrassed to have been noticed.
Before he knew it, Cal was back in his car, driving towards the highway once more. His heart pounded. His breaths were quick. Guilt overwhelmed him, but not for reasons he would expect.
Arriving home, he dashed in the front door, heading straight for his computer. June was already in the call waiting for him. He only hesitated a moment before placing his headphones over his ears and adjusting the position of the mic.
“Any trouble getting it set up?" He asked, trying not to give away his shortness of breath.
“No, not so far. Just a bit heavy, that's all," she responded, clearly out of breath as well. He could hear her shuffling around in the background, connecting wires and discarding packaging. After a few moments the noises stopped, and she spoke again, more quietly than before.
“Cal, I just wanted to say… sorry if that was weird. Me hugging you, I mean."
He thought for a moment, unsure how to respond. He couldn't deny it had been weird—perhaps unwelcome, even. But he was glad it happened all the same.
“No, it was nice. Don't worry about it."
“You sure? You seemed a bit tense. Like I was making you uncomfortable."
“It's just," Cal waited before speaking, trying to choose his words carefully. “It's just it all feels so clandestine, you know? Like we're doing something we oughtn't. I just keep worrying about what Charlie would think, that's all."
Silence followed his words, but just before he could ask if she was still there her voice came over the line, soft but with a firm edge he had only heard a few times before.
“You're allowed to have friends, Cal. We're allowed to have friends. Being in a relationship doesn't mean you're obligated to cloister yourself with just one person for the rest of your life. Come on, nerd, lighten up. It's fine, I'm sure Charlie wouldn't care if you told him."
“Did you tell Daryl?" He asked. A sharp, revealing silence followed.
“That's not fair."
“Exactly. Besides, that's not what I meant anyway. Obviously we can be friends, but don't you feel that this is… going beyond that a little?" He said in retort, though not sure what he hoped to gain by pressing her. “What does it say that you aren't willing to tell him? Surely there's a reason."
“It says nothing. You're reading into this too much, don't make it weird. Anyway, I got this crap all connected. I'm getting off the call. I'll send you a room code once I get in."
“Wait, June—" he started, but the call disconnect sound had already separated them.
He felt bad for reflecting his insecurities on her, but in an unexpected way her steadfast assertion that there was nothing to feel guilty for helped ease his nerves. Perhaps she was right.
“No turning back now, I guess." He said with a sigh, turning to his left to see the messy pile of prototype Dynoterm hardware by his desk. Swallowing his apprehension, he grabbed the electrode harness and placed it over his head.
Calliyan stood alone suddenly, instantly, in an empty, dark void. Panicking he looked down, waving his hands in front of his eyes. He could see nothing, but somehow he knew he wasn't blind; there simply was no visual input.
The system had taken over his senses more quickly than he'd expected. Rather than being required to launch some accompanying software or interact with an interface, he had been immediately transported to wherever the hell he was now. Reaching up, he felt the top of his head, hoping to find something to grab hold of to remove the harness that overrode all his body's senses. Nothing was there.
“June, are you in here? June?" Cal cried out, but he heard nothing in return. Not even an echo.
Cautiously, he instructed himself to take a single step forward. Out of the darkness, as if on cue, lines appeared in the distance, slowly sketching out the frame of a doorway. Text then overlaid the door, typing out a message as he resumed walking towards the apparition.
Session invite from Judith “June_X09" Evals. Room 001-001-974
Cal reached out towards the door, imagining himself grabbing a handle that didn't exist—and suddenly, it did. With a gentle twist, the door opened towards him, and the text glowed green before slowly fading away, allowing him to enter unobstructed.
A snap rang out in the darkness and just as suddenly as he'd appeared in the void, the void itself was replaced with a familiar sight. Cal found himself standing outside the door of a house he'd just visited moments before—quaint, single story, windows lit up in a warm incandescent glow—and before him, at the doorway, stood a woman.
“You made it," she smirked, stepping down onto the cement slab of her porch, in the exact spot she'd stood when they'd embraced.
“I guess I did," chuckled the caniform as he looked down, examining himself. He was still wearing the same clothes he had been earlier, but June was not. Rather, her loungewear had been replaced by something more appropriate for going out: jeans, a flannel shirt, and faux-fur lined boots. Her eyes still carried the same intense violet he remembered, however. That striking feature had not changed.
“What is this place?" Cal asked, looking around a bit more. As far as he could tell, he may as well have just teleported straight to her house. If this wasn't reality, then the simulation was perfect to the last detail.
“That's a complicated question. Has Charlie ever talked to you about his work at all?" June asked, digging in her purse for something. He hadn't noticed her carrying it a moment earlier.
“Not any more than what I've told you. This stuff is way over my head. Are you saying this is part of Simulacrum?" Cal postulated, tilting his head. He was somewhat familiar with Simulacrum as a product built by Dynoterm some fifty years ago; a skunkworks project within their artificial life division. It ended up being used as a training tool before eventually making its way to the more affluent members of the greater interstellar community as a form of entertainment. He'd tried it a time or two, but this—this felt way, way different.
“No, but on a fundamental level they share a lot of their core technology. Namely significant parts of the brain-computer interface. This isn't a simulation, though, that's the big difference. Nothing you see here is being generated by a computer, per se," she explained, stepping down and reaching to pluck a blade of grass from the lawn. “We've been generating artificial realities for hundreds of years, that's nothing special. This is so much more exciting than that!"
He could hear the exhilaration in her voice. He knew he should be feeling it too.
“So if it's not a simulation…?" Cal's voice trailed off, clearly deep in thought.
“It's a dream. A dream we're both sharing," she said, smiling broadly as she stepped towards him. “I've been training for a while now, like I mentioned before. When you can visualize something clearly in your mind, and hold on to every detail of it, you can use it as the anchor point when you enter the system. I was imagining the moment I saw you on the porch, and, well…"
Cal looked at the ground, then ran a foot across the soft grass, feeling it tickle the pads of his bare footpaws. He raised his nose to the cool night air, and smelled the familiar scent of his car's rich exhaust, and the more distant hint of dust blowing in from the barren fields to the east. Stars dappled the night sky, blazing intensely against the almost too black depths of interstellar space. But even as he watched, they seemed to shift and shimmer, as if their exact sizes and locations were constantly changing, almost as if he were looking up through the bottom of a glass. June seemed to notice his subtle head tilt as he struggled to make sense of the strange sight, and continued.
“Organic memory isn't perfect. I know what the sky should look like, but when I try to focus on it, all the little details become indistinct. The system tries to fill in what it can by interpolating between available data points, but ultimately everything you see here is generated solely from the layers of my consciousness. The system does have other modes, though."
“Other modes?" Cal asked, turning to her. She had moved closer and was nearly touching him as they stood side-by-side, facing out towards the inky blackness of night that seemed to envelope the whole world past the light of the last streetlamps.
“Sure. We can share the creative process, for example. Either just the two of us, or a whole group of people together. I'll show you!"
June then stepped forward and reached out her hand, waving her arm as if drawing the shape of a doorway in the air. One appeared shortly after, with text fading into view atop it.
Private shared session portal by Judith “June_X09" Evals. Room 001-001-976
Cal gave her a sideways glance, but she was already walking towards the doorway. He trotted to keep up.
“Just picture something in your mind. Anything. Try a place you love to visit, or something you like to do for fun. Hold onto as many details as you can as you walk through the door," the woman called as she disappeared through the threshold. With her, the world he stood in also vanished, and he was once again in an empty, featureless void. Wasting no time, he conjured an image in his mind, then stepped though.
Snap
Stumbling to a halt, Calliyan waved his arms desperately to maintain his balance. He gasped, looking over the sheer drop that began only half a meter from his toes. A low sun illuminated an orange sky, and to his right a deafening waterfall plunged to the misty depths some hundred meters below. Lush vegetation covered every damp, rocky surface, and some type of flying animal squawked from high above.
“June!" the husky cried out, immediately assuming she'd done what he narrowly avoided and had tumbled off the cliff. He felt a hand on his back.
“This way! I think I know where we are!" She exclaimed over the din of falling water, and pulled on his shirt. He followed as she led him up a narrow trail through the rocks to a ledge some twenty meters higher up, and out of direct earshot of the waterfall. Small insects and colorful lizards dodged their feet as they walked, and the light had continued to descend, casting the landscape in lavender and coral hues. Wispy clouds shone iridescent as they caught the last throes of the sun, sending finger-like rays of shadow across the sky in their wake.
At last June sat on a dry boulder, gesturing that Calliyan take a seat by her side. He did so.
“You told me about this place," the young woman said softly, eyes transfixed on the sunset before them. “You described it to me. Some place you'd heard of on Earth, that you used to dream about."
“Some place along the Na Pali Coast, on the island of Kauai. I saw it in a Hollywood movie once, and became obsessed. Always hoped I'd be able to visit some day," Cal reminisced, his voice trailing off.
“By yourself?" Asked June, not turning to look at the husky.
“No. I romanticized it way too much for that. It felt too special. Like something that would be wasted to be experienced alone," Calliyan thought for a moment, a frown of concentration on his muzzle. “Charlie and I looked for a place like it to honeymoon, but by the time we'd narrowed down some options, offworld travel restrictions were already getting set in place. We ended up putting the money we'd set aside towards paying off his work contract so we could get off Solus Spero and move here before it was too late. Working for Dynoterm was his dream, and we were able to make it happen."
“You don't regret not taking that trip?" June turned to look at her friend's eyes, which seemed to sparkle in the fading light.
“I don't regret us making the choice to help him achieve his dream, no. Visiting Kauai, or some place like it, was just a fantasy for me. None of us can ever go to Earth anyway," Calliyan said matter-of-factly, turning to smile at June, “besides, here I am. And it's everything I dreamed it would be."
Pausing for a moment, he reached a hand out and gently squeezed his friend's shoulder. His eyes narrowed in curiosity.
“But this is my dream. What part of it belongs to you? Wasn't this supposed to be a combination of things from both of our minds?"
June smiled and cast her gaze down, turning away towards the glowing horizon. If it weren't for the colors of the sunset warming the tone of her skin, he might have thought she was blushing.
“You know, it's funny. You've mentioned this place so many times, it was the first thing that came to mind when I tried to think of somewhere we could go together. I couldn't focus on anything else. And I knew this is what you would choose, too," she giggled, tapping him playfully on the shoulder with her fist, “you're so predictable."
“Yeah," Calliyan said with a soft laugh, “I guess so. Have to admit though, I always thought it would be with him. No offense or anything, I'm glad we're here together. It's just…"
“I get it, no need to apologize. If I could have Daryl here with me, I would in a heartbeat. But, he doesn't really understand this side of me. The side that wants more than what our real, physical world offers," she paused for a moment, sighing deeply, “he wouldn't even consider the idea that there's more for our minds to experience than what our bodies are capable of providing on their own."
She turned to meet Calliyan's eyes for a moment, then looked away once more. Only a faint glow remained on the horizon, and the first stars had appeared in the blue-violet sky.
“Sorry, I don't know what I'm going on about," she said, shaking her head. “I shouldn't be dragging you into my weird fantasies. The last thing I want to do is drive a wedge between you and Charlie. You two are way too cute together, I could never forgive myself."
Abruptly June stood, and began gesturing in the air.
“I think we should call it a night. I'm glad everything works. See you tomorrow?" She asked, turning to the surprised caniform who was quickly scrambling to his feet to join her.
“Uhm, sure?" was all he could say before the doorway appeared, his friend stepped through, and he suddenly, unceremoniously, found himself back in his office.
Gingerly, he removed the interface from his head and rested it on the desk in front of him. On his display, he could see that June had already left the voice call.
Leaning back in his chair, Calliyan let out a deep breath. What had June been talking about? What did she really want from all this? Part of him thought the answer was obvious. He'd seen the way she'd looked at him; he'd felt it too. Some sort of latent attraction that had always been hidden between the two had suddenly leapt to the surface. But surely she didn't intend to act on it, right? More importantly, would he act on those feelings if given the chance?
There was a rattle of keys at the front door, then the sound of paper bags rustling as Charlie announced his presence.
“Hon, you awake? All the lights are still on, you must be- oh!" the raccoon said, peeking his head into the office to catch Calliyan's bleary-eyed gaze. “Everything alright?"
“Oh, yeah. Just a bit tired. Need help with the groceries?" He asked, rising to his feet.
“Yes, that'd be great love. It's been a long day. Erm, aside from the part where I'm home a bit early. I'll tell you all about it over a drink if you give me a few minutes to wash up."
Calliyan smiled, leaning forward to peck his husband on the cheek while he scooped the paper bags out of the tired man's arms.
“Take your time. I'll get this put away and start working on a couple cocktails."
“Make mine a double, would you?" Charlie turned back to smile weakly as he ascended the stairs to the bedroom. Calliyan winked in return.
“Six hundred and fifty thousand marks?" Calliyan exclaimed, quickly leaning over to set his drink on the nightstand before he spilled it all over his lap.
“Apparently. And this is the third prototype to go missing in the last few months," Charlie let out a deep breath then took another hefty sip of his cocktail.
“And they can't just track them down when the units come online?"
Charlie shook his head.
“In the final product certainly. In this initial run, all ten of the functioning units produced have no serial number, and don't run signed firmware. It's trivial for a savvy hacker, or someone with knowledge of the codebase, to dump the ROM and weed out any telemetry that talks back to our services," Charlie shook his head again, this time more slowly. “How something at this level managed to get approved for engineering sampling without a single functional safety measure is beyond me. Someone higher up must have planned this all along, and greenlit the production run knowing full well that this would happen."
“Any suspicions?" Calliyan asked, taking a final sip of his drink before leaning back against the soft pillows of their shared bed.
“No. They asked me about it today, though. They know I've been tinkering with old Simulacrum BCIs, like that one of you've got in your office. But they also know there's a big difference between scrounging old hardware out of the recycle bin and outright stealing valuable company property," Charlie snorted. “Still got chewed out though. Nothing major, but I doubt after this that I'm at the top of any lists for promotion."
Cal frowned, then rolled onto his side, snuggling his lithe body against the raccoon's stout form. He rested his head against Charlie's neck, breathing in the warm, familiar scent of his fur.
“I'm sorry, babe. I know you've been working really hard for that, too," he said softly. “They have to know there's no one more loyal than you. Dynoterm is everything to you. Even I get a little jealous sometimes," Calliyan chuckled softly then gave his lover a gentle bite on the neck. “Besides, it's their fault for not tightening security. Like you said, someone higher up must be orchestrating this. No way a company with so much history makes a mistake like that."
Charlie turned his head towards the husky, giving him a soft kiss on the forehead.
“Mmm, I like when you talk corporate espionage," he said, his voice a low grumble that seemed to reverberate from deep within him. Calliyan's body tingled, and he felt a familiar stirring in his groin.
“Yeah? Should I keep going? Okay well, imagine this: spies! Spies from, uhh, the CSC! Out to steal all your important datas. There could be one here right now, listening to our every word!" Calliyan teased playfully, running his hand across his husband's chest as he spoke.
“Come on, Cal. Now you're just being silly. The CSC hasn't been around for almost a decade. At least-"
Calliyan cut him off eagerly.
“That's just it! It's so underground, so top secret that no one even knows they exist. Exactly the kind of shady organization that would send spies out. It all makes so much sense!"
The husky could almost hear the other man's dramatic eye roll.
“Well in that case, I guess we better stop talking about it before I leak anything."
“Hmm," Calliyan said thoughtfully. While he'd been teasing the raccoon, his paw had descended down the man's chest and between his legs, where his fingers were now delicately massaging Charlie's half-erect manhood. He could feel the telltale moisture of excitement already dripping from its tip. “Seems like it might be a little late for that."
Charlie's breathing had already grown deeper and more rapid. Calliyan nibbled at his neck for a moment, then slid his head beneath the covers and slowly moved his body down the length of his husband's warm body, landing soft kisses all the while. Eventually he reached his target, and found his muzzle nose-to-tip with the raccoon's impressive manhood. He breathed in the thick scent of arousal he found there, and slowly let out a hot breath against the man's sensitive skin. He smiled as Charlie shuddered, his body already tense with anticipation.
“Babe, I think I found the source. Think I should take care of it?" Calliyan teased, his voice a mix of seduction and mockery.
“Shut up, you-"
Charlie's words were silenced with a gasp as the husky opened his maw and wrapped his tongue hungrily around his husband's manhood. He smiled to himself. Calliyan had been with many men before Charlie, and many women as well. He never really imagined himself as anything other than simply just himself. Not gay, certainly not straight either. Just an aficionado of moments like this, where another being is totally under his spell; lost in rapture as his body transforms into a tool for the pleasure of others.
His jaws opening wider, he took his lover's manhood fully inside his maw, now tasting the familiar tang of precum mixed with his species' unique musk. Charlie had, by this point, placed a hand on the back of Calliyan's head, gently guiding him in pace with his soft, almost involuntary thrusts. It wasn't long before these thrusts had become more urgent, and the raccoon's heavy breathing had turned to earnest grunts. Responding in kind, Calliyan had redoubled the actions of his tongue, and relaxed his neck so the larger man could use him as he pleased.
Calliyan's own throbbing manhood went ignored, but this was fine by him. If Charlie wanted to continue things he would of course be open to it, but his own needs were not his concern at the moment. Instead, he prepared himself to take all of what his husband had to give him.
“The side of me that wants more than what our real, physical world offers."
June's words from earlier seemed to echo in his mind out of nowhere, and his eyes snapped open beneath the heavy sheets. Calliyan's head drew back involuntarily as he suddenly found himself detached from his surroundings, taken out of the moment entirely by the strange, almost surreal memory from a few hours earlier. June and him, overlooking a sunset. His hand on her shoulder. Guilt.
Calliyan flinched in surprise as the first wave of cum splashed across his muzzle, and he quickly tried to regain his composure, taking his husband's now spasming member into his mouth before the moment passed. As if in response to his momentary pause at just the wrong instant, Charlie's grip tightened, and he felt his nose being forced against his husband's groin as the man's cock slid deep into the smaller husky's throat. His head was held there until the bucking of the raccoon's hips subsided, but all the while his mind was elsewhere.
“What did you mean last night?" Calliyan said, moments after joining the call. June took a few seconds to respond.
“Sorry, what? I mean, I said a lot of things," she said dismissively, clearly taken aback by the sudden inquiry.
“When you said you wanted more than the physical world offers. I keep thinking about that. It's like some part of me gets it, but… I know you were implying something deeper by it," the husky said softly, stumbling to find the right words. He could hear her sigh on the other end of the line.
“It would take a long time to explain. Can you join a session with me? I've got a couple hours before Daryl gets home."
Calliyan hesitated for only a moment.
“Yeah, sure." Taking his headset off, he grabbed the mess of wires and electrodes and placed it on his head. Just like before, the world around him instantly went dark—except not completely. For an instant, he could swear he'd seen a faint rectangle of light far in the distance before it winked out entirely. Cal could only contemplate this oddity for a moment before a doorway appeared in front of him.
Private shared session portal by Judith “June_X09" Evals. Room 001-001-979
Stepping through with a now familiar snap, his feet landed on deep, dry sand. Late afternoon sunlight washed over him as his senses became engulfed by their surroundings. A vast ocean stretched out before him, crystalline water swathed in a swirling gradient of pastel apricot and violet. Dense forest intermixed with low lying palms and other tropical plants lined his periphery, while standing straight ahead was the figure of a girl, facing his way and clad only in a blue and white two-piece bikini. Her hair flitted in the breeze, and her arms were wrapped around her modest chest, as if to unnecessarily distract one's attention from her pleasantly curvaceous figure. Even as he stared, awestruck as the last two times at the suddenness of being here after just having been nowhere, waves seemed to leap from the sea behind her and rush across the white sand, enshrouding her bare ankles in foam.
June blushed, turning from him to examine the towering hills that rose at his back and left side. It was at this moment that he realized he was wearing far less clothes than he had been a moment before. Quickly covering himself and turning to block her view, Calliyan wrapped his long bushy tail around himself, suddenly mortified.
“Oh my god, I'm so—where did my clothes go, I promise I didn't mean to—! Well shit," he stammered, unsure how to correct the situation. He didn't recall having to specifically imagine what he'd wanted to wear before, but then again she had also not changed outfits when stepping through the door. Calliyan turned back to the embarrassed human, an accusing smirk on his muzzle. “You did this, didn't you? You were picturing me naked when the session started!"
June covered her face with her hands and twisted away to face the ocean. He could just hear her laughter over the crashing waves. After a moment she looked back over her shoulder, one hand still attempting to cover the broad smile that clearly extended from cheek to cheek.
“I'm so sorry Cal, I really didn't mean to. I was just trying to imagine what a person covered in fur might wear to the beach and suddenly you were here and," the woman paused for a moment, looking him up and down, “I mean really what would you wear? You seem pretty well covered already."
The husky tried to relax, turning his body back towards her but leaving his tail curled around his waist.
“I mean, the same as you to be honest," he said before quickly correcting himself. “Swimwear, I mean, not a bikini. Like, trunks or whatever."
“Mhmm," she muttered in acknowledgement, still grinning. “Anyway, get your butt over here and sit with me. You asked me something important and I want to try to explain it to you before I lose my nerve."
Calliyan tilted his head quizzically and walked closer, stopping only a few feet away as she lowered herself to the soft sand, just out of reach of the highest line where waves had lapped a few moments before.
Hesitating a moment, he sat next to her, twisting his body away to preserve what remained of his modesty. She didn't seem to notice as she met his eyes with hers, the silly smile from before replaced by something that suggested a mix of conflicting emotions. June paused for a moment, her mouth opening then closing, as if she couldn't find the words. When she did speak, her voice was timid, and her gaze cast downward.
“Hear me out because this might sound a little weird, but… when I was young, I was always jealous of—well, of your kind, I guess. Other sapiogen like you, with beautiful fur and tails. I know it's silly, I know on the inside we're all the same, but," she swallowed hard, still examining the sand with her gaze. One hand played with it idly, fingers twirling among the miniature dunes she created then destroyed with each passing motion. “I kind of felt like the universe cheated me out of something special, in a way. Out of being something more than human."
Calliyan could only stare at her. To him, humans—in her case, more specifically a homoform sapiogen—had always been the coveted oddity throughout the now-collapsing interstellar community. Aside from the predominantly human occupied world of Big Country, he had always heard that something like one out of every three hundred Terrans wore the appearance of a typical Earth-type human, depending on where you found yourself in the known galaxy, and what corporation's territory you occupied. In some areas, the ratio was significantly higher in favor of other Terran subtypes, specifically feliforms, and occasionally caniforms. Even a fairly unusual phenotype like his procyform husband Charlie was still more commonly seen than a human woman like June.
“But," Cal stammered, not sure if she was expecting a response before continuing. “Why?"
She looked at him now, her iridescent violet eyes sparkling in the near-perfect facsimile of Earth's star.
“To be different, to be this," she said, gesturing at the curve of her body where it met the sand, “means my life has been filled with men—and women—treating me like some type of artifact. Like I'm something special for being one of nearly nine billion human beings, just because I happen to be on this side of the Kuiper belt. Like I'm an object to be coveted and studied."
June shook her head in disgust, looking out over the ocean once more. She chewed her lower lip nervously for a moment.
“I married Daryl because he was one of the first humans I met that treated me like me. I wasn't some kind of trophy. He didn't show me off to his friends so they could talk about me like I wasn't even there. He's just… he's just Daryl. And I love him for it." The woman sighed deeply before flopping back onto the beach, her hair spread around her head like a crown. “But for part of me, that isn't enough. I just look at him and see myself; another human from Earth's most populous country in a sea of fucking individuality and beauty that makes me just feel so, so isolated. Like a weed in a field of wildflowers."
She reached a hand out, and Calliyan flinched slightly as she ran a hand through the fur of his upper arm. She then snapped it away, as if suddenly realizing what she was doing.
“I'm just so over being me," she breathed, almost inaudibly.
A warm breeze rustled the husky's thick coat, vibrating the wavy umber, cream, and black patches and stripes that crisscrossed his body. He looked down at himself then, trying to see his body for the first time, from the perspective of someone who wasn't accustomed to it. Most sapiogen were shaped roughly the same as humans, but maintained the most prominent characteristics of the species they shared ancestry with. Genetically, they were engineered to be taller, leaner, and sharper of mind and sense than a typical human. June would carry these traits too; her violet eyes a telltale that she was no ordinary human, despite how she may feel. He suspected her envy was mostly superficial, and he strained his mind to see what about himself was worth coveting. He saw only the body that had stood before him in the mirror for the last twenty eight years of his life.
“I guess I don't understand," Calliyan finally spoke, his voice soft. “I think you're beautiful, June. But I've always liked you, long before I knew what you looked like, or that you were human. You'll always be that girl that joined a random Travelers match halfway through and played with my buddies and I until 4am, and chatted with me for hours after until we both had to go to work. You'll always be the one that helped me get past the long nights when Charlie was stuck at work, in the year after he and I moved here. I had no one else to talk to and all my close friends were left lightyears away, on a world we no longer have open communication with. You were always there for me. You could have been a doman for all I care, and I'd still feel the same way for you."
She laughed at this.
“A doman? The big scaly aliens? I don't think you would have let me hug you if I'd looked like that."
“Sure I would, and I would have been just as nervous as when a human woman I'd only ever talked to on voice calls and text messages did it," Calliyan said, laying on the sand and turning to face her. “It was never about what you looked like. It was about preserving what we have, as friends. I was afraid meeting you might change everything."
“Well," she said softly, turning on her side and meeting his gaze. “Has it?"
Suddenly the husky felt anxious, and his mind filled with a conflicted stew of emotions, separate yet coexisting like a boiling cauldron of oil and water.
“A little," was all he could muster through the lump in his throat.
She slid closer to him, closing the gap between their bodies.
“How so?" June asked, eyes locked on his with an intensity he hadn't seen before.
He stared at her for a moment, heart pounding. He could feel his manhood stir within it's sheath as he took in the delicate features of her face, and thought of the way she'd looked at him when they first met. Calliyan rolled away from her suddenly, fearful she'd notice the pink protrusion between his legs.
“Sorry, I…" he stammered, sitting up and adjusting his tail once more to cover himself. “I just don't know how to take this."
June sat up as well, brushing the sand out of her hair. Night had nearly fallen now, and the sky seemed to stretch to infinity above and below them as millions of bright spots reflected on the dark sea and sky, only broken by a thin line of orange on the horizon. The air was still warm, and carried the humidity and sweet smell he'd always heard was common to late spring on the islands. He wondered for a moment if this detail had come from his subconscious, or hers. Still facing away from the woman, he continued.
“I feel like when I'm here, I've entered a different life. Like Charlie and the rest of what I left behind is only a distant memory. But I know that's not true; he'll be home in a couple of hours. And if I let myself slip here, if I follow my desires, I don't think I could hide that from him. I don't think I'd want to," he sighed. “I'm still me, and you're still you. How could I look at myself in the mirror, look at you ever again, if we did something here? The world is a fantasy, but we're still real people."
He felt a hand on his shoulder and flinched slightly at the unexpected touch.
“I'm not asking you to do something you would regret. I just… I get a certain feeling when I look at you, it's hard to explain. It's like this place, being here, it makes me feel like anything is possible," she said. “And in a way, it is. Let me show you something. I think you'll understand why I told you all that stuff earlier."
June stood and took one last glimpse at the ocean before turning to etch the shape of a doorway in the air.
“I want you to picture yourself as if you were like me; a human. And maybe picture some clothes too," she said with a smirk, then stepped through.
Calliyan was taken aback by this. Surely she didn't mean…?
Text appeared atop the doorway.
Private shared session portal by Judith “June_X09" Evals. Room 001-001-985
Once he was satisfied with the image he'd conjured, he too stepped through.
“Welcome to the Shava Five Parks District. This area is under construction, please mind your footing. Thank you!" Read a sign painted on the towering airlock. It opened a moment later, revealing an expansive space within. Calliyan took an involuntary gasp at the sight.
Far above, a dome of triangular glass panels stretch from wall to wall. Beyond this, an expanse of stars, brighter than he'd ever seen, filled the sky, and the band of the milky way bisected the space like a trail of cosmic breadcrumbs. Or was it a sky at all?
Trees of shapes and colors he'd never seen sprouted from the ground, and a meandering path carved a gulf between them, as a river would through towering palisades. Each side was lined with ankle high aquamarine grass, dotted with pink flowers and white dandelion seed tufts. Far to his right, down a side trail, a transparent tube lined the wall with the text “TRAM - PARKS STATION SOUTH" illuminated on a signboard just above it.
It was just after seeing this that he noticed something different about himself. The dark smear of his muzzle in the lower periphery of his vision—almost always unnoticed unless he tried to focus on it—was gone, instead replaced with a small splotch of something almond brown. He looked at his hands, and his eyes widened. Gone was his fur, pawpads, and sharp psuedoclaws. Instead he saw the pale palms and sun warmed skin of a human. Fine hairs covered his arms almost imperceptibly, and he ran a hand across them, mesmerized by the feel of his bare flesh.
“June?" he called out. His voice was still his, but his lips felt strange as they formed the word. Gone was the need to flex the orchestra of muscles that had been genetically sewn into his muzzle to make human speech possible—instead, the word seemed to fall simply from his mouth.
He felt a tap on his shoulder, and turned to face the figure that stood nearly eye-to-eye with him. She was beautiful, that was without a doubt. In many ways this form retained the cute, humble features of her human self, but she had clearly taken liberty when reimagining her body. Her breasts were a little larger, her hips a little wider, and her straight black hair had been adorned with elegant waves. Her tail, thick and bushy as one would expect from her species, was wrapped around her legs shyly. June stared back at him, violet eyes peering through snow leopard features, ears drawn back with slight embarrassment. Despite her striking appearance, she wore the loose fitting pajama pants and sweatshirt he'd seen her in the night before.
“Well?" She asked, her voice seemingly unchanged by her transformation. “What do you think of being human?"
Calliyan looked down at himself again. He was dressed in form fitting black jeans, and a striped button-down shirt, untucked. He had forgotten to picture himself with shoes.
“It's… I feel so light. So free," he said, moving his limbs around and standing on the tips of his toes. “My body feels like mine, but if I shed a hundred pounds. And I can feel every breeze, but not through the movement of my fur, but as the air passes over my skin. It's…" his voice trailed off, and he looked back to her, meeting her gaze. “You look amazing, by the way."
“You think so?" she said, turning her head shyly. “I thought about it a lot. I spent some time getting the look right before you got on." The feliform spun on one oversized footpaw, showing off her rosette-covered fur where it was visible below the truncated sleeves of her hoodie and shortened pajama legs. Shorter limbs in clothing are common for long or medium furred sapiogen, and that detail hadn't gone unnoticed by her, even in this fantasy where the discomfort of pulling tightly fitting clothes along fur would hardly matter.
She turned back to him, a broad smile across her muzzle.
“You meant it literally. Expanding beyond the confines of the physical world," Calliyan mused. “Living a dream, not just in the sense of going somewhere you've never been, but becoming something you otherwise couldn't become."
“Something I've always felt drawn to, deep inside. A part of me I've hidden away, just as you've hidden away your dream of visiting Hawaii."
The man snorted, which felt funny to him through his small, narrow nose.
“That was nothing compared to this. Mine was just a simple fantasy of a beautiful place, hardly unique, but you… you've dreamed of changing your whole body," he said, shaking his head slightly. “How long have you wanted this?"
June donned a pained, crooked smile.
“Since I was very young. Just a little girl. I first remember seeing a feliform snow leopard girl in primary school and I just couldn't take my eyes off her, you know? She probably thought I was a creep," she giggled at the memory of quickly averting her eyes when the other child would catch her staring, pretending as if she'd been looking at the clock. “But I knew then that I didn't feel right as a human. It's not who I really am."
Calliyan noticed tears well in the corner of her eyes as she continued.
“I've never told Daryl any of this. I don't think he would understand. He's just so confident in himself. He's such a man," she laughed, trying to mask her true emotions. “I don't mean that in a bad way. I really do love him. But I can't stand the thought of hiding myself away forever. Of never being able to fully express myself in this form, while I have the chance. My heart wants more than that. I just," June sniffled and turned away, “I just don't know how to put all the pieces together. To love him and to be her, and to be this and to love…"
Her voice trailed off. She didn't need to say anything anymore; Calliyan understood. Cautiously, he walked up beside her and wrapped his arms around her soft body. He felt her muscles tense for a moment, then she relaxed into the hug, leaning her head against his shoulder. She began to sob openly, her feeble cries echoing throughout the eerily silent park.
The two stood quietly for a moment, and he gently rocked her back and forth as he waited for her tears to subside. When he had agreed to help her, to go through his husband's contacts at Dynoterm to get another of these discarded and modified Simulacrum rigs, he had felt like he was stabbing Charlie in the back. He felt like he was at risk of throwing away his marriage, and his relationship with one of the only beings he'd felt like he could be his true self around. But this—this was truly dangerous territory. Again he felt his heart twisting into knots as he tried to reconcile his feelings, but he could make sense of none of it.
Slowly he loosened his grip, letting June's arms fall away as they separated. She looked up at him with tear-stained eyes.
“I'm sorry for all this. I never really thought it through. I had this elaborate fantasy about what it would be like when you could finally see me like this, but I should have known it would never be like that. You're right, we're still just us. We have lives we can't just ignore. People we love."
Calliyan opened his mouth to speak, but couldn't think of anything to say. He wanted to tell her that he understood, and that he didn't blame her for having dreams. That there was nothing wrong with hoping things could be different, even just for a moment. Instead he raised a hand to her cheek, and gently stroked the soft fur there. He ran his thin, unfamiliar fingers down her neck, then moved them back upward to cup the side of her head in his palm. She leaned into his hand, a gentle purr reverberating from deep inside her. June had only just closed her eyes at the comfort of his touch, but they suddenly snapped back open in surprise.
“Did I just-!?" She asked softly, then paused for a moment. The purring returned, and she let out a half-sob, half-laugh; her face alight with pure euphoria.
“I shouldn't be telling you this," grumbled Charlie, his head buried in his crossed arms as he sat with Calliyan at the dinner table. Cal slowly stroked the raccoon's back, and looked upon his husband with concern.
“Then don't; I'm a liability anyway. I trust you completely," the husky said softly. “If there's something going on at work that you're not allowed to tell me, I'm fine with that. I understand."
Charlie shook his head.
“It's not like that," he said, voice muffled. He let out a long, tired breath. “We found a way to track the prototypes down. It's crude and not very precise, but when the units are active we can get their location down to the nearest kilometer or so. Enough to bring more sensitive equipment to the area and run some scans for EMI that matches what we expect the hardware to emit."
Charlie turned his head to face Calliyan, who nodded for him to continue.
“There's one not too far from here, maybe a thirty minute drive. They sent me home with everything I need to triangulate it."
“And what, they expect you to do that tonight? I sure hope you're getting paid for your time. Our time. I have needs too, you know," Calliyan said indignantly, winking at his lover. His energy was not matched in the reply.
“Yes, tonight. I'm getting paid double time, plus hazard pay. Didn't even know that was in my contract; I'm supposed to just work in the lab."
“And what, they just wanted you to tell me that you're going to go out with friends or something? And I'm just supposed to be okay with that, even though you might be putting yourself in danger?" The husky asked, visibly agitated.
“No. Well, yes, I suppose," muttered Charlie. “I figured I'd leave after dinner."
“I'm coming with you. It'll go faster with two of us, and I'll make sure you don't nod off," Calliyan stood, walking to the kitchen. “I'm packing snacks. What do you want?"
“Wait hold on, I don't think—" The raccoon started to speak, but was cut off by his husband's firm glare.
“What snacks, babe?"
It was two standard hours later that Calliyan felt the sinking feeling in his chest. The couple had been driving nonstop while the raccoon had tinkered with various instruments in the passenger seat of Cal's old car, leaning out the window occasionally with a conspicuous, dish-shaped antenna.
“Yeah, I definitely have something. Negative one hundred and fifteen deciturins, in the two thousand salkeld band. Another spike around nine hundred thirty-three salkeld, of similar intensity."
“Should I pull over?" Calliyan asked, slowing down and moving toward the side of the road.
“No, keep going. It looks to be getting stronger. Take a right on that next road," Charlie said, deep in concentration as he jotted some numbers down in a notebook.
As he turned onto the neighborhood side street, the husky glanced at the name of the road. Eyes widening, he instinctively tapped the brakes for a moment before quickly attempting to regain his composure, causing Charlie to drop a great deal of the equipment he'd been carefully juggling into the footwell.
“What's wrong?" He asked, looking up from the mess to look at the road ahead.
“Oh, sorry. Thought I saw an animal in the road," Calliyan responded, feigning a smile towards his concerned husband. The truth was that he'd seen that sign before—recently.
After a few silent minutes of driving, Charlie gestured for them to pull over, and his partner slowly directed the car to the side of the road, along a green space between two dark suburban homes.
“Seems like it's nearby," the raccoon said, leaning out the passenger window with the high-gain antenna and aiming it at the various houses along the street. Telltales blinked on a small device clutched in his other hand, and a small display tracked a descending gradient of colors ranging from blue through bright green to spots of red.
Calliyan swallowed hard. The BCI he'd gotten for June—could it be? Could that have been a stolen prototype? It seemed so obvious now, but at the time he had only assumed that Charlie's coworker, like Charlie himself, might have just spent some of his free time re-engineering and repurposing old hardware. He hadn't asked his husband for another headset because he wanted to avoid the awkward conversion of why he needed it. But if he had just been honest…
Leaning against the drivers door and twisting away from the focused raccoon as much as possible without looking too suspicious, Calliyan pulled his comm from his pants pocket and launched the messaging application. His fingers flew clumsily over the tiny keys as he fired off two short texts. A response to one of them came almost immediately.
“Steve G. (Dynoterm): Tell her to power down immediately. Wait for further instructions."
He typed another message to June and stared at the small monochrome screen expectantly. The text 'typing…' appeared briefly below her name, then disappeared.
“I think it's that house, right there," Charlie said softly, gesturing with the end of the antenna pole to the back of a low, flat-roofed, single-family home. The husky could only nod silently, his heart pounding in his chest.
An urgent beeping noise sounded from the device in the raccoon's hand, and he looked down at the display, the expression on his gray muzzle shifting suddenly to a frown in the light of the green glow.
“Something wrong?" Asked Calliyan with concern, spending all the focus he could spare on steadying his voice.
“The signal just went dead. Nothing at all now," he muttered in his low baritone voice, switching the device in his palm off then back on again, and waving the antenna in the cool, autumn air. “I have all the logs, but without driving to the other side and getting a reading pointed back this way I can't know for sure if it was that house, or one of the others in line with it." He paused for a moment, scrolling through data on the handheld spectrum analyzer before continuing, clearly deep in thought. “I supposed I could make a pretty solid guess based on attenuation alone, but…"
Calliyan slipped his comm back in his pocket, then leaned over to put a hand on his husband's lap.
“We should wait a while; see if it comes back. You were so close."
“Mhmm, yeah. Probably a good idea," Charlie nodded absentmindedly, still playing with the device. “I'll let them know what I found when I'm back in the lab on Monday. Maybe they have something I can drop in a bush or tree and leave for a few days to collect data passively."
“You're going to tell them where you think the signal was coming from?" Cal asked, his voice sounding a bit too anxious to his ears. Charlie seemed not to notice.
“No. I'm not going to allow security to harass innocent people over a rogue signal. If they pressure me, I won't give anything up. This device doesn't log positioning data unless I tell it to, and I haven't saved any coordinates. Without more to go on, this could just be some kid playing with amateur radio equipment. I did the same sort of thing when I was young."
Calliyan nodded, feeling his body relax. He let out a deep breath and smiled at his partner.
“So, since it seems like we might be here for a while," the caniform said coyly, reaching into the back seat and grabbing a backpack. “Can I interest you in some chocolate?"
“You have to give it back. June, your life could be in danger here," Calliyan pleaded, staring into the depths of his friend's nebular eyes. She stared back at him, her elegant snow leopard form huddled against the insect-like roots of a hala tree like a cowering child.
“This can't be happening. I never wanted this," she said softly to herself, shaking her head slowly. “I thought it was just an old Simulacrum headset with modified firmware, wasn't that what you asked for? How was I supposed to know…?"
“You weren't. Neither was I. My contact at Dynoterm fucked us. He said without the real prototype, none of this would have worked in the first place. I wish he had just told me that—told us." Calliyan sighed and sat down next to the distraught woman, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and drawing her against his chest. “Apparently I'm able to contribute to the dreamscape because your device takes over the signal processing and generation tasks. I guess my BCI just acts as a remote node or something," he explained, trying to remember what Steve had told him during their frantic, hushed conversation just an hour or so before.
“Yeah, I guess that all makes sense based on the leaked documentation I read, before we got into this mess," June said, nuzzling her cheek against his bare fur. “Though I really don't see why they would bother to implement that capability."
The husky looked down at her, tilting his head quizzically.
“What do you mean? Why wouldn't they? It seems like they'd want people to be able to connect to the new system with their existing equipment, right?"
“No, not really. Cal, there's a lot of things that don't make sense here. The more I dig into the capabilities of this platform, the more it starts to look like this isn't meant to be some new product Dynoterm is prepping for retail distribution, like Simulacrum was when it was created. This exists for a very different reason," she said, then abruptly pulled away from him, shaking her head in frustration. “But who cares. What the hell does it matter now, anyway? I'll have to live the rest of my life knowing that all this will be out of reach forever. Even if they did market it, it's not like I'd ever be able to afford one—assuming I don't end up in prison because of this."
“Don't talk like that. I'm sure you won't have long to wait. Charlie has hinted that this whole thing is nearing production readiness—he said that the engineering samples they've got so far are nearly identical to the planned release hardware. It'll probably only be a year or two before—"
“No, not a chance. This isn't meant for people like us," June said abruptly, turning to him with an intense glare. Calliyan sat dumbfounded, unsure how to respond. She continued. “You want to know what I think? I think this is a pet project straight from Dynoterm's elite. It's a selfish effort to preserve themselves. They see what's happening out there in the galaxy, like we all do. They're trying to find a way to ride it out. They don't give a fuck about you and me, or making a profit on all this."
Calliyan could only stare. He had no idea what she was talking about.
“Preserve themselves?" He asked, his voice flat with skepticism. “Preserve how?"
“They're abandoning us; abandoning the physical universe altogether. Simulacrum, or whatever they're calling all this now, is the way out," she said, searching his face for understanding. She found none. June's voice shifted from earnest to defeat. “Nevermind. Just think about it this way: the war changed everything. We're isolated here, on a planet that can't feed its own population. The corpos are powerless to do anything about it. They're desperate to try anything to survive, in some sense."
Calliyan considered this for a moment. The war with the mysterious Brigg that had eventually led to The Fall, the great collapse and segmentation of the interstellar community, had decimated resources and supply lines everywhere. Still, the massive, privately operated Alcott-Trefield freighters docked at the cargo elevator almost weekly, and no one could miss the nearly continuous efforts to till the nearby high desert wastes into fertile soil. There was no sign, at least that he could see, that the Dynoterm Corporation—sole stewards of the planet they were now forced to stay upon—had given up on the fifty million citizen-employees that called this world home.
“Don't worry about it Cal," she said after a moment of silence between the two. Her ears drew back and she reached out a hand to stroke his cheek, smiling weakly." I want to have fun, not stress over fucking politics," she spat with irritation. “If this is the last time I can experience this body, I'm going to enjoy it. Screw Dynoterm, and especially screw that asshole Steve. Come swim with me."
He didn't argue or resist, letting her guide him up a rocky hilltop overlooking the blue depths some dozen metres below. She smirked at him, eyes mischievous and maw painted with a toothy grin.
“Jump together?" she asked. And so they did, screaming in unison as they dove from the jagged cliff face, crashing hard into the warm tropical waters of the Hawaiian Pacific. The pair became lost in time, flitting amongst fish and riding waves with their bodies, crashing over and over again onto the sun-soaked beach. Hours ticked by, and their muscles ached with exertion, but somehow they carried on—desperate, almost, to not let the day end.
Still, the orange disc of Sol descended to the sea, and the sky grew alight with stars and satellites, sparking like so many eyes peering down at them from the heavens. The moon rose shortly after, and its pale glow brought with it a new spectrum of colors and emotions.
Sore and exhausted, June and Calliyan flopped on the sand one last time, each panting and giggling like children. The husky turned his head to look at his friend, tongue lolling out of his smiling muzzle as their eyes met in the soft moonlight. Despite her wet and matted fur she seemed to radiate beauty, and he felt his heart leap as his eyes traced the shadowy curves of her body. He could feel her warmth even now, separated as they were by only centimeters of air. But it was as if this air were escaping into the night, leaving behind only a vacuum that threatened to draw the two tightly together.
Suddenly they were one, rolling on the sand until Calliyan found himself looking up at June, her head and torso silhouetted against the speckles of dancing, incoherent stars that lit the sky. He didn't know who had moved first; it didn't really matter. She pressed her muzzle against his with urgency, and he responded in kind, drawing her body against his with arms and hands that grasped tightly at her back.
He felt her hands awkwardly working at his swim trunks, and he shifted his weight to the left and right to allow her to slide them down his legs. June pulled away for a moment, sitting up as she straddled him to undo the tie of her bikini top, letting it fall to the side. She bit her lip, eyes looking intently into his with a hunger he knew all too well. He slid a hand from her back to her front, running it along her chest and cupping her ample breast. Her lips spread in a sultry smile, and she leaned down to kiss him again, this time at a pace that felt more passionate than frantic. Calliyan could feel her voice as much as hear it as she moaned against him at the touch of his gentle fingers upon her nipple, and the hand that slowly descended past the base of her tail.
It had been years since the husky had been with a woman—part of him had accepted the notion that it may never happen again, after his marriage with Charlie. Still, his body remembered what to do. He felt his manhood swelling out of its sheath, its sensitive tip brushing against the snow leopard's down-soft fur. June shifted, reaching a hand between them to grip his shaft, helping him along as his arousal grew. Breaking off the kiss, she laid her cheek against his, whispering into his ear.
“Let me do the work," she spoke, words barely audible over the crashing of the waves that somehow seemed to have receded into the distance. Calliyan closed his eyes as he felt her slide down his body, free hand running across his thin form and tracing the lines and curves of his muscles. He could feel himself trembling now, as if suddenly overcome by a chill that wouldn't end. The excitement seemed to ripple through his body in waves, redoubled as the woman reached her destination and he felt hot breath against his warm, pink flesh. Then, her tongue.
Calliyan let out a sharp breath at the sensation; the rough texture of her feline tongue seemed to send electric shocks through his shaft and up his spine. He heard her giggle at his reaction before opening her jaws and taking him inside, sinking him down to his sheath and the beginnings of the knot that was only now growing at the base of his manhood. He found himself idly wondering for a brief moment how familiar she was with the biology of other sapiogen subspecies. Was she surprised by what she found as she explored his body? Did she like it? Did she care at all?
His thoughts melted away as he gritted his teeth, only able to focus on the sensations the woman was bringing to his body. With a final twirl of her tongue she sat up, licking her lips and breathing heavily. Then, she was on top of him once again, and he felt her soft hands stroking him, guiding him, aligning him…
June gasped, tilting her head back to moan sensuously to the heavens as he slid into the warm, inviting grasp of her body. His hands were on her hips, and he felt himself buck against her involuntarily as primal urges began to take over, fed by the intensity of the sensations pouring over his body. Calliyan no longer cared about the greater implications of what they were doing. It no longer mattered. In this moment there was only him and June; only the sand beneath them and the milky way above. Only the crashing of the waves, and the dripping of sweat through salty fur. Only the love that swelled in his chest as he swelled within her, locking them together in ecstasy. Only the cries and gasps that filled the air as he felt himself release, pouring his seed deep within her.
Snap
Calliyan's eyes flew open as pleasure still washed over his body, and he felt something thick and wet splashing across his stomach. He ripped the headset off, still disoriented, still riding the final waves of orgasm. He was in his office, his clothes drenched in his own fluids as his manhood throbbed between his belly and the waistband of his loose sweatpants. Panting heavily, Calliyan looked around, trying to piece together what had just happened. One moment he was on the beach where he and June had been… but now?
Hearing a soft sound to his left, he turned his head. A raccoon stood there, a strange expression on his muzzle.
“Charlie?" was all Calliyan could ask.
“Tell me their name," Charlie said flatly, looking down at the table that stood between the two. Calliyan swallowed hard, body trembling from an overwhelming stew of emotions.
“I can't do that. You know I can't," he whispered. He wanted so desperately to make his husband, the love of his life, understand. More than that, he wanted this all to go away. “You know what the corpos would do if they found them."
“You know what they'll do to me if I don't," the raccoon replied, deep brown eyes casting upward to meet the husky's. “You'd really be okay with that?"
“No, of course not, it's just—I can't. I can't. I'm so sorry," Calliyan said softly. The two met each other's gaze for a moment longer before Charlie stood with a deep, exhausted sigh.
“I get it," Charlie said, smiling weakly. “You don't have to explain. I will find them regardless of whether you tell me or not, and you know that. At least this way you can keep your conscious a little cleaner."
Calliyan felt a rock drop in his stomach, and the blood drained from his face. Charlie was right, after all. He, or someone at Dynoterm, would eventually track June down. Now that they knew he had connected to an instance generated by one of the missing prototypes, it was only a matter of time before they could sift through enough logs to trace the signal path.
Charlie grabbed a thick jacket from the back of one of the dining room chairs and threw it over his shoulder.
“Don't wait up for me," he said, not turning to face his partner as he walked towards the door. Calliyan opened his mouth to speak, but closed it as he heard the front door open and shut a moment later. He knew there was nothing he could have said anyway.
Still in disbelief of what had just happened, he rose to his feet robotically and ascended the stairs to the bedroom he and the raccoon shared. Grabbing fresh clothes, he walked to the bathroom and turned the shower faucet to its hottest setting.
Calliyan stripped off his clothes and looked down at himself. The evidence of the evening's events had dried and matted in his dark belly fur and groin, and the scent was still strong in his nostrils. He had never felt so disgusted by himself; by his own body and animalistic impulses. The fantasy had taken him over, stolen his normally rational mind and replaced it with one that only cared that his needs were met.
He knew that he had hurt Charlie, maybe even ended their marriage. Still, more than anything else, he found himself worrying about June. Tears stung his eyes as steam from the shower rose, and he stepped gingerly into the tub, letting the scalding hot water soak his thick fur.
Should he try to warn her? Was she still there on the beach, alone? Had she been disconnected too?
Thoughts swam in Calliyan's head as he scrubbed shampoo into his fur, not bothering to turn the water down to a more comfortable temperature. If Charlie found her while she was still connected, what would happen? Would it hurt her if the interface was removed unexpectedly? Was it Charlie that had terminated the link from his side, or did something else happen?
He stared down at the drain, watching small tufts of fur swirl around before getting caught in the large screen trap that he and Charlie had to clean out after each shower. Shampoo bubbles collected around his feet as the water ran down his body, reminding him of the seafoam that collected along the beach at the apex of each wave.
Calliyan knew his life would never be the same after this. Something inside of him had been altered on a fundamental level. It wasn't his love for his husband, or some gratification for finally having visited, in a sense, a place he had always dreamed of. Rather, it was something far deeper, far more esoteric. It was as if he was looking at the world from a different perspective.
Turning off the water, he stepped out of the tub and into the blow dryer. The machine whirred to life as he latched the door behind him. The hot air assaulted him from all directions, penetrating down to his skin and forcing the water from his thick coat.
He thought of what she'd said about their home; about Dynoterm. If this strange, almost impossible successor to Simulacrum was truly supposed to be some sort of refuge for the rich and powerful, what would that mean?
A moment later Calliyan was running down the stairs, forgetting all about his clothes. He rounded the corner into the office and had the old BCI strapped to his head before he'd even sat down.
Private shared session portal by Judith “June_X09" Evals. World 001-002-027
Calliyan walked through the doorway. A familiar snap resounded throughout the space.
“June?" He inquired of the strange corridor he found himself in, but received no response.
When stepping into the shared session, he had envisioned the interior of the starship that had brought Charlie and him to their new home so many years before. It was the first thing he could think of that was as far as possible from the warm Hawaiian coast that now carried guilt with its memory. What surrounded him now, however, could only be described as a funhouse rendition of that vessel's halls, walls, windows, and deck plating, all distorted and twisted around him. Through panes of bent and spiraled glass, he could see what appeared to be a planet. The blue-green, cloud-covered orb sat at an unnatural perspective, as if he were walking along a tangent to its surface.
He made his way carefully through the twisted, broken passageways, calling out the name of his friend. An eternity seemed to elapse before he finally made his way to the end of the maze. The passage he'd be following ended abruptly, spilling on to an open landscape of rolling hills and waist high, yellow grass. Calliyan shielded his eyes from the harsh rays of the planet's star, whose light burned a little too yellow to be that of Earth's.
A figure was barely visible in the distance, standing near a grove of dead and sun bleached trees. He cupped his hands to his muzzle, shouting at the top of his lungs. The silhouette seemed to move slightly, but did not respond. He jogged up towards her, sharp amber blades cutting at him as he pushed his way through. Slowing as he approached, Calliyan once again called out.
“June! June is that you?" The words came through labored breaths as he finally reached the peak of the small prominence, stepping carefully across soil littered with fallen branches and shattered tree trunks. The figure turned to face him.
“Cal…" She whispered.
He closed the final three meters in an instant and wrapped his arms around her, drawing her against him. The chest rose and fell in uneven hitches as she sobbed into his shoulder.
“I'm sorry, I don't know what happened. One moment we were… and the next, I was back in the office. Charlie-"
“It wasn't him," she said, voice wavering, “They traced the connection. Dynoterm, somebody. They killed the device somehow, while I was still connected."
Calliyan pulled back, tilting his head as he examined his friend's face with concern. He reached up with one hand, gently brushing tears from her cheeks.
“Killed? Killed how? You were able to reset it, though?" He asked, not sure what to make of her words. She shook her head, looking him in the eyes.
“I only had an instant to decide when the system alerted me to the incoming connection. Either disconnect from the interface myself, or… stay."
Calliyan's heart sank.
“What do you mean stay?" He asked, voice tainted with fear and concern. Her words came hurriedly, as if she was desperate to justify her actions to herself.
“I wanted to know if I was right. I had no way of knowing otherwise; I didn't have access to that part of the system directly. But part of me could feel it. The complete separation from the real world when coming here," she said, trying to force a slight smile even as tears soaked her fur. “Not just a bridge to your mind, like Simulacrum. A complete replication. One's consciousness, in its entirety, existing here in this system."
Stepping back, the husky's eyes grew wide.
“What are you saying, June?" he asked softly, voice trembling. The snow leopard stared at him intently for a moment before once again brushing the dampness from her cheeks.
“I think it worked, Cal. The prototype is still powered on, but my body," she trailed off for a moment, her eyes unfocused and looking past him to the distance as she continued in a breathy whisper, “is no longer connected."
Calliyan couldn't speak. He didn't know what he could possibly say even if he could. Surely this was impossible, right? June must be mistaken. Or, maybe what he was seeing was simply the machine generating an avatar of his friend, responding to his desire to speak to her when he'd entered the world. But what did that mean of the real her? How could he warn her?
“June, does the real you—does your body—know she is in danger? If you really are disconnected, is there any way to tell her that Dynoterm is after her right now?"
Flashing a weak smile she waited a moment to reply, stepping backward to sit heavily on a crumbling, sun-bleached log as if suddenly overcome by exhaustion. Looking up at him, violet eyes glimmering in the starlight, she shook her head slowly.
“No. Not that I can think of. But she should know. Everything should have been shared right up to the moment of disconnection," explained June, her tone distant. “I think I would have turned it off, though. At least, that's what I feel I would have done, if I'd been able. But you couldn't be here if I had."
Calliyan stepped forward and sat next to his friend. The ancient wood beneath them sagged and crumbled, but he wrapped an arm over June's shoulder to steady himself. They sat in silence for a moment, watching a warm breeze rustle the endless plain of grass like a wave on an orange sea. Dry branches clattered on lifeless limbs above.
“Do you know what this place is?" he asked softly as the air stilled.
“I tried to picture what the future might look like if I had chosen differently. If I hadn't stayed." she pointed to the twisted metal wreck Calliyan had descended from, the hulk stretching from ground to sky in an analog of the twisted grey limbs above their heads. “The cargo elevator. The crops. Everything is dead or dying, or destroyed."
The intense light, oppressive heat, and nervous pounding of his heart had made Calliyan's pawpads moist with sweat. He glanced at his palms momentarily before wiping them on his pants. She continued.
“I'm never going back, Cal. Maybe my body is still there, alive. Maybe my physical self is running from Sector Security as we speak. I don't care anymore," she said with regained fervor. “I'm not living the rest of my life trapped in a world, in a shell that I don't belong in."
She turned to look at him, her muzzle close to his. He could smell the dust in the air mixed with an exotic sweetness that must be emanating from her fur—a perfume, or shampoo. His body tensed, longing to close the gap between them and press his mouth against hers. Her face softened in a shy smile before reaching up with a hand and stroking his cheek.
“Stay here, like I did. Leave your body behind to be with Charlie, and let this version of you live this new life with me, however long we can."
Calliyan swallowed hard, wanting to turn away.
“But I—he—will remember this. That version of me will have to endure knowing that there's a part of his heart that will always be here with you. In every moment with Charlie, in every moment I'm alone to think. Won't it feel like a lie?" The husky's voice trembled, and he reached one hand up to grasp June's stroking fingers in his own, pulling them away from him. “How can we live with ourselves?"
She squeezed his hand gently, expression hardening slightly.
“I'm not ready to give up on living, either here or back in the real world. But I don't know if I have a choice anymore. That split-second decision meant I could at least be here to say goodbye, even if you won't stay. It was worth it just for that. It's the only choice I could live with."
June leaned forward then, pressing the soft tip of her muzzle against Calliyan's. His body stiffened, then relaxed, relenting to the strength of his desire to be as close to this wondrous soul as possible. To forget about his apprehensions and let his heart guide him. To bring their bodies together as if one in passion, and to never release her. In the wake of this vindication, everything else subsided.
Calliyan could not pinpoint the precise moment it occurred. He was there with her one instant, intertwined, and the next he was alone. His office was dark as his eyes blinked open, blinded still by the fluorescent glow of his displays. The cooling fans amongst the mess of equipment and wires that powered the patched together brain-computer interface spun down gently, leaving him with only the sound of his rapid, shallow breaths.
Desperately, he lifted the electrode harness from his head and dropped it back down. The room around him disappeared, leaving only the familiar black void.
“Hello?" he shouted to the darkness, but the darkness did not respond. Calliyan got first to his knees, then sat cross-legged in the emptiness. He could feel the comforting form of his tail wrap instinctively around him, and he began to wait, motionless and silent.
Some time later, the husky awoke from an apparent slumber to see the face of his husband staring down at him, concern etched deep in his raccoon features. Daylight shone in through the curtains, and the sound of tires on the street outside made him aware that a nearby door or window must be open. Fine dust floated in the warm light before him, blown in from the dry and empty farmland kilometers away. He blinked, disoriented.
“You've been there all night," Charlie spoke softly, gently lifting the harness from Calliyan's head and sitting on the cluttered desk. “Come have some coffee with me."
Calliyan rose, his joints and back stiff, and allowed himself to be propped up by the larger man as he hobbled to the kitchen on still-tingling pawpads.
“Sit," his husband instructed, and pulled out one of the kitchen chairs for him, its legs scraping on the tile floor. Flashes of June's claws against his back as they made love invaded his mind as Calliyan obeyed, resting heavily, head slumped and staring and the swirling patterns in the oak-finished table. The coffee grinder whirred to life somewhere behind him, and before long the rich aroma of a familiar dark roast began wafting through the still air. It must have been several minutes later that Charlie returned with a steaming cup, setting it below the caniform's snout. He took a seat across from his partner, and the ensuing silence stretched on for several long moments before he finally spoke.
“Look at me, Cal," Charlie said tenderly in his low, rumbling voice. Calliyan raised his head, ears drawn back, and met his husband's green eyes. There wasn't anger or malice there. No disappointment or sadness. Only a deep concern that seemed sunken into his fur and all his features. Still, a crooked smile adorned his muzzle as their eyes fixed on each other's.
“Everything will be okay, hon. I promise. But I have to tell you what happened," Reaching out a large hand, he grasped Calliyan's across the table. “As I think you know, Sector Security raided a house last night, belonging to a young couple. They repossessed stolen equipment and took both into custody for questioning."
The husky's heart sank, but he tried his best not to react.
“According to my higher ups, this was the unit that had disappeared most recently. They were able to power it down safely by gaining access remotely. The woman operating it at the time suffered minor memory loss since she ignored the prompt to disconnect, but she is expected to make a full recovery." Charlie studied his husband carefully for a moment. “You two were close, weren't you?" He asked softly, giving his husband's handpaw a gentle squeeze.
The smaller man nodded.
“How close?"
Calliyan swallowed hard, unsure if he would be able to speak. He tried anyway.
“She's part of the group I play games with online most nights. We met in a public lobby not long after you and I moved here. We've only ever been friends until…"
He trailed off, his voice dry and raspy. He took a small sip of coffee.
“And she's who you were with last night?" The raccoon asked, voice almost too soft to hear. He could only nod in response before the next question came.
“Were you going to tell me about her?"
Calliyan honestly didn't know the answer to that. He sat motionless and silent, overcome with emotional turmoil that stewed silently within him. Charlie squeezed his hand again, drawing him back from the mire of his guilt.
“That's okay, Cal. I trust you, and I love you. And I know, I hope with all my heart, that you still feel the same way. I don't know what I would do without you."
Tears had begun to flow freely from the caniform's eyes and he stifled a series of sobs with his free hand, but his body shook all the same.
“I think you understand this already, but… you won't see her again, hon. I know that will be hard, but it's truly not up to me," Charlie said softly, a pained expression creasing his face as he watched grief take hold of his partner. “If I'd have known that someone so important to you was involved in all this, I would have pushed harder to stay out of it. I'm so sorry."
Calliyan sniffed back mucus and dried his eyes with the back of his hand, staring at his husband with disbelief. With every attempt to steady his voice, he could only squeak out “why would you be sorry after what I—?"
“Listen," Charlie interrupted, releasing his grip and rubbing his eyes with both hands, his voice uncharacteristically feeble, “I can't say I'm not a little hurt. Maybe even a bit jealous, I don't know. Confused, certainly. What I can say for sure is that nothing will ever change the way I feel about you, Cal. All I care about at the moment is that you are okay. Someday I hope you can help me understand, but… not today."
“Charlie, I-"
“Stop," the raccoon said abruptly, interrupting his partner once more as he stood from the table. “Come here."
Rising in turn, Calliyan stepped forward into the strong arms of his lover. He felt his fear drain away, leaving only sadness and the sharp pang of guilt that pierced his heart like a knife. Still, he knew they would be okay in the end. Regardless of what happened to the world around them, they would always have each other. Real, physical, and alive.
“I'm sorry, Char," he gasped as waves of sobs washed over him, “I'm so fucking sorry."
Leaves fell as rain poured down, dimpling the soil like micrometeor impacts on a starship's unshielded hull. Three figures cowered beneath a makeshift log and vine structure, gazing out upon an unfamiliar landscape. Cerulean clouds flickered with lightning as they raced across the sky, seeming to move the whole world's oceans with them as the relentless deluge continued to meet the building dawn.
The smallest of the three figures, resembling a feliform with marbled white and brown fur and sharply pointed ears, was the first to speak up. Her small voice strained to overcome omnipresent din.
“This is where you were born?" she asked, looking up at the larger of the two figures that flanked her.
“Yeah. But it used to look a lot different," the man sighed. “That was a long time ago though. A very, very long time ago. I suppose it makes sense that a lot's changed."
A short silence ensued before the little one spoke again.
“How old are you daddy? Like, five hundred?"
The two parents looked at each other, laughing.
“I want to say no, but sure, let's go with that," he acquiesced.
“Don't you ever get bored being so old?" She pressed, eliciting another round of soft laughter.
“Yeah, sure, your mom and I got bored for a while. Then we made you. Now we get to do everything all over again and show you all the fun stuff we found along the way," he said, smiling as he wrapped an arm around the child. The girl's mother leaned in as well, joining the embrace.
“Do you think you'll get bored of me someday?"
The man turned to look down at his daughter, briefly at a loss for words. A distant flash of lightning illuminated her feline features, and the sky reflected with crystalline clarity in her vibrant violet eyes, like jewels beset in umber, onyx, and ivory velvet.
So much had happened in the years since The Fall that the man could scarcely keep track. Now and again his heart hurt for the life not lived, but he knew he would never take back his choices; not for an instant. After all, nothing is without consequence. There is always sacrifice. Love is sacrifice.
“Impossible," he whispered.