I kept telling myself it would be okay. Once the words leaked, as vague as they were to my spotter, but as clear as they should've been to Brandon, I could do nothing else. I rounded the track two more times, two of the longest laps I'd ever taken, yet two of my fastest laps of the day, nerves wracking my five and a half feet of now-out Jasper. It took every ounce of effort that first lap not to hit the radio button again and tell him never mind.
What scared me, though, wasn't so much Brandon punching me or anything, nor fear that he'd go tell Zed or Basil, but simply that I did not know how he would react. Part of the fear came of the idea that he might cry if he felt that overwhelmed by it, and I would hate to pressure him to explain that to any surrounding furs. Just my dramatic mind speaking, of course, but the possibility could always linger.
I think I filed through three dozen different thoughts, scenes, hunches, et cetera before I pulled into my garage. I tried to keep my composure as my car chief and crew chief awaited me, giving me high-paws on my way out of the car. Despite what I displayed to them, the terror inside of me did not stand down, but I managed, "Fast machine, man!"
"Where'd you pull the speed out of?" Tesla asked.
"Tried a new line." I spoke, my mouth dry, "Let me get a water." I grabbed an Aquasani and began chugging it down. It cured the cottonmouth feeling, but my heart still pounded like a kick drum.
I took a sharp inhale as my insides twisted seeing that familiar orange car on its way toward me. I sank back into the garage and waited for what felt like hours, but in reality it only took fifteen seconds. He pulled in, and the anticipation ended. I scurried to his driver's side window, awaiting a response like a kid awaits Christmas.
I tried to find an expression to fit the moment, but every one I tried simply couldn't hold a candle to this. It seemed like a normal routine seatbelt unlock and restraint unfasten from what I could see, but when he removed the helmet and steering wheel, he stared at me.
...His eyes glistened.
He dropped the window, pulled his tail from the tail holster, and extricated himself. His expression fell flat, aside from the eyes.
He looked deep into mine, and I drew a total blank of what else to do, so I opened my mouth and my voice cracked as I spoke, "Don't... tell anyone."
He inhaled deeply and dropped his head back, putting his paws to his eyes and quietly breathing slurred words, "Oh my God..." He turned around and placed his head to his fist against the roof of his car. I became hocked when I thought that perhaps he had a tougher time handling the nerves than I did! He resembled me when I had first told Liam, and he muttered the same three words over and over, obviously fighting back tears. "This isn't real..." He finally whispered.
I couldn't grasp words, or actions, whether I should console him or control him, but all I knew is that I recognized this, from my own personal experience, as a positive reaction. I managed a weak smile and waited another dozen or so moments before I tugged on his firesuit, "Buddy, someone's gonna ask questions if you keep doing that."
He removed his paws and that's when the smile made an arrival.
I tried to be more cute than dramatic, "Lying made It that much more fun!" I followed that with an emotional giggle.
He laughed and lifted his head from the roof of the car before he approached me slowly and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me to his chest, "No one's looking." He whispered almost inaudibly.
"I don't care." My voice dropped to match the softness as I wrapped my paws around him, listening to his heart pounding faster than my own, his breathing shaky and his muscles tense. Obviously his nervous ran more rampant than mine, or could that have just been an illusion, me being the one to express them more openly?
I peeled him off me and then looked him in the eyes, "Let's cut to the chase. I beat you to the punch, correct?"
He looked at the ground nervously, "I was... gonna tell you today." His voice shook audibly, so he kept it quiet.
"Alright, and just so there are no more questions..." I grinned and nodded my head, "I can confirm that yes, I am gay, and I'm sorry for trying to pretend I wasn't."
He smiled, "Alright... that makes this less awkward." He giggled a little, "So... um... boy, where to start!" He wagged his tail lifelessly, ears perking upright an odd contrast to it.
I shook my head back and forth and traced a claw along his chest. I didn't mean for it to be seductive, but I think he took it that way, "Let's not bother now. Keep your head, man... we got a job to do. Do you want to go out tonight and discuss it then, buddy?"
I smirked, "Buddy?" I put a paw on his chest again and eyed him almost seductively, "You can call me hon, sweetie."
He started shaking even more and then ran to the bathroom in the back of the garage. I heard him scream out in joy from the other side as if he'd won the Daytona 500, "OH MY GOD!! THERE IS NO WAY!! NO FREAKIN' WAY!!"
I tried to keep a levelheaded expression as I walked back to my own car to meet Tesla staring me down with the oddest expression I'd ever seen from him, "Had to go that bad, huh?"
I didn't take the question with enough seriousness to give him a clear answer.
Brandon and I wound up on the top half of the leaderboard for A.M. testing, but we looked to be in for quite a year as three of the four other rookies put up times faster than mine, Brandon the fastest - not just of the rookies, fastest overall!
When our teams gave us a coinciding half-hour lunch, he and I met up again on the infield where we bought some lunch together. We happily munched on our meals of subs and chips while we began to speak with each other more deeply than before. I don't think either of us could've waited until dinner to get these feelings off our chests. We found a nice little clearing back near our garages adjacent a large wire fence.
"So now I understand... the whole being different thing was symbolic for both of us, we just so happened to have that in common. I fucking knew it." I never heard him speak with such joy.
I sighed in a bit of disbelief, "I was worried it was all for naught. How long did you know?"
He shook his head, "I... really don't know. I don't know if I started asked myself about it or if I started falling for you first. At least three weeks. And, of course, I never actually knew until now. I was terrified it would be false destiny."
I heard some footsteps behind us, but I only found a crew member for the 40 team walking by with a bagged lunch in head when I cautiously turned in hushed curiosity.
"Well, it worked out okay, didn't it?" I smirked, "And I am so humbled that you have feelings for me, too. I've always felt I'm... ya know... too busy or just not meant for it. But dammit, I'm willing to try."
"Jasper, buddy... er... hon." He winked at me, "You're cute. Plain and simple."
My cheeks flushed red and my ears folded back, "Thanks."
He giggled, "Very cute."
"No!" I squeaked.
He couldn't help but smile, "Dammit, you're just taking advantage now!" He cackled loud and shook his head back and forth.
"Nope..." I eyed him with a serious face, "I'm being resourceful." I poked my tongue out and my tail flopped a little behind me.
"We'll see how resourceful you are when you got me on your bumper out there." He growled.
"You won't ever see my bumper." I snapped back.
"Only cause I'll be the one in front!" He yelled, "Ha! I win cause I'm better!"
I nodded, "Well played." I watched as he jubilated for a few moments, pumping his fists and bragging to another passerby. I laughed a little and then invited him back over, "Before your ego controls you any further..." I looked left and right as he approached, and then stole a hug from him, to which he held me close.
"Brandon..." I began, "I hate jumping to conclusions, and I really don't know what love feels like, but God almighty, if this isn't it, then I'm afraid of how obsessive I'll be when I feel it."
He smirked, "Completely understandable. I love myself too."
I laughed at him and smacked him on the shoulder, "What an ass."
He pulled his long fluffy raccoon-like tail up in his arms and pet it, "My ass sprouted this fuzzy thing."
I cocked my head to the side.
He ceased the stroking of his tail and waved his paw over his head.
"Hey! That's not a fair play!" I called, pointing at him, "It can't go over my head if it doesn't make any sense!"
We played like that for a few more minutes before walking back to our garages and getting back to business as usual, more enjoyable than ever.
When it comes to an ideal coming out, what I had was an absolute blessing. Like I said, the surreal life of being born with a silver spoon in my muzzle.
The second round of testing that afternoon was marred by rookie crashes. Four of the rookies, myself included, got swept up in some sort of incident. One of which involved David Creisman and Brad Frye, Frye being the only rookie slower than me on the charts that morning. One other incident involved Erica Castra, the only female running for Rookie of the Year, and her car went airborn on the backstretch before getting T-boned by veteran DJ Reinn. Fortunately, I only spun off turn 4. I did get slight damage on my right rear, but avoided any further damage by preventing it from sliding across the track. How I did it I will never know, but I remained content knowing that it played out that way.
Again, Brandon shocked me with his talent, as he put up the second fastest time of the second segment. How did nobody hear of this guy before? I sure as hell began to buy into the media; I hadn't heard of such an amazing driver, and by driver, I mean fur in general, not just driver.
As he did his rounds, I separated myself from the public and hid in a bathroom stall to make an important phone call.
"Hello?" Liam answered, his deep voice groveled over the receiver.
"Liam, it's Jasper." I spoke fast in my excitement.
"Jasper!" His voice lit up, "How are you doing?"
"Fan-fucking-tastic!" I almost yelled into the phone.
"Do tell!"
"Well, in a nutshell, I got a boyfriend. I just had to freakin' tell someone... because you're never gonna believe it."
"Well... no guesses. Tell me, who's the lucky guy?"
"How about... oh, I dunno, Brandon Reese?"
"Wait... the guy that sent you the die-cast? The other rookie?" I heard disbelief in his voice.
"Yes. I have a boyfriend and it's a fucking NAFSCAR driver! Yes, apparently there are two gay ones!"
"Heh." He scoffed, "I always knew the day would come. Do you have any idea what this could do for gay rights?" He sounded considerably passionate about this.
I froze, "Oh... oh, God no! I... I just can't!"
"Well, I wasn't suggesting that you should. I was just saying that the possibility is there."
"Yeah, I'll leave it there." I snickered under my breath, "Sorry, bud. If that information is ever leaked I'd be lynched."
"I seriously doubt that. Dad hasn't lynched me yet."
I answered at an instant, "Did he find out? He called me last week about it."
He paused for a moment, "He did? What about?"
Smooth move, Jack - not telling your own son that you know of his political opinion, but rather gossiping to the family. I considered my response and decided to sugarcoat it, "Nothing, really. Just asked me if I exposed you to my horrible liberal brainwash."
"Aw crap, really? Jeez, sorry about that. Yeah, I've been starting to hang out with my friend JD a lot more. Been spending nights there."
"That's good. No boyfriend?"
"No. Not really wanting one either."
I breathed a bit of a guilty sigh of relief, knowing that if my drunken uncle found out, I feared all hell would break loose in the remaining slice of my broken family, "Alright."
"I love you, bud. I gotta go."
"Love ya too." I made it sound sincere as possible.
I hung up.
I met Brandon on pit road, and upon his exit from the car I smugly grinned facing him and laughed deviously, "Where'd you learn to drive like that, runnin' from the cops?"
He responded with a proud hearty chuckle and turned to face me. His voice lowered to the baritone of a movie trailer narrator, "They were too slow to give chase."
I patted him on the shoulder, having to raise my arm quite a bit to do so. His broad, firm shoulders impressed me and made me want to see them without his driver's suit covering them. I cleared my throat and rejoined Earth already in progress, "So, I heard about this really fancy place downtown... and if we're done with this train wreck, I'd like to take you out there."
He smiled, "I'd like that. Um... when do you wanna leave? It's 4:30 right now."
I gave him a smirk, looking up at his muzzle, my nose no more than six inches from his, my slender, boxy muzzle contrasting slightly to his longer dog-like muzzle, "How about now?" I grinned, "I don't want you to wait."
He fell modest. So cute.
This place could compete to the place Brandy took me. A wall of aromatic foods hit us in a tidal wave of olfactory pleasure as we walked in. Steak, chicken, pork, fish. I didn't bother to name them all. I felt famished, and boy did it get me salivating!
"Oh man that smells so good!" I groaned as my stomach growled, audibly smacking my lips afterward. He was just as famished. He looked at me and cheerfully responded, "I know!" then hung his tongue out for emphasis on his hunger.
My eyes devoured the real feast, though; Brandon looked exquisite. On the way, he had me stop at a clothing store, and he surprised me when he came out from the store sporting a nice red sweater vest covering up a black dress shirt tucked neatly into belted dress pants. He may have been a little more overdressed, and a little more 1950s, than I'd have preferred, not to mention I didn't sport anything but a sweaty white Pierce Racing Enterprises team shirt and some blue jeans.
We both were seated in a booth on the street side of the restaurant. The table was made of polished redwood and in the center of the table sat candles and vases containing a mix of red and yellow roses. The dim lights complimented the fancy atmosphere, and suddenly a man from the kitchen crew with a tray of uncooked meat came to us and explained which one he would recommend. He attempted to upsell the most expensive menu item, but we simply weren't interested in the $135 lobster tails as much as a bloody hunk of cow meat.
Me and Brandon talked a little before our food arrived. I told him the whole truth of what happened with Liam, to which he didn't have much of a reaction to. I assumed it a side-effect of hunger. We both could eat the tablecloth at this point and be satisfied.
"Most close friends I've kept in touch with do know about me. I'm careful about who I tell, but I'm also prideful. Bit of a catch 22 when you're in this sport." He said.
I sighed and rolled my eyes, "Tell me about it. I just don't know which way to turn... I've got the rednecks on my ass all the time and I feel like... like being gay is a big enough part of me that if I don't express it to someone, I'm worthless in my own mind."
His smile instilled warmth and comfort in me, "You have me." He shrugged, "Don't you?"
"Indeed." I turned my head, "Food's coming!" I cried.
My steak and onion rings were placed on the table delicately. I picked up my fork and swallowed a mouthful of saliva. Brandon, on the other hand, made me and the waiter laugh as he purposefully hung his tongue out and panted while his food was set in front of him.
Our conversation dwelled back onto our passion - racing.
"My inspiration was always David Sealson. I was only two when he last drove, but I have a lot of respect for him; the way he drove, his attitude, his skill. I'm also biased because he's a species merger like me between a seal and polar bear. I always followed him as an idol." I told him.
"Really? I have a bunch." He said chewing and swallowing his steak, "You're one of them."
"Aww, really? That's sweet."
"No. I'm serious." I could see it on his face; he was, "Ever since your father died. Ever since you won at Talladega in 2008." He paused for a moment to take another bite, "I've been a big fan of you for years, man."
I found myself at a loss for words for about the dozenth time of the day, "Why?"
He shrugged, "You're there. But no one knows."
I nodded dramatically, "You like the underdogs and unlikely heroes."
"It's more than that." He swallowed, "It's more of facing the adversity of being written off week in and week out, but going out there and doing what you do and doing it good anyway. Your charisma is lacking, but you still get up and speak to everyone. It's your dedication to the fans. It's just the fur you are. You're a genuinely great guy as well as a talented racer. I figured I would try to take after you, being the sleeper myself."
A fur older than me speaking to me as if a son to me?! Crazy! His words came off so beautiful to me that I couldn't help but blush and fold my ears back. My short tail thudded against the soft booth seat.
He changed the subject. "What happened earlier? Blow a tire?" He spoke lightheartedly.
I laughed briefly, "Yeah! Caught me off guard... scared the crap outta me, though."
He smiled and laughed a little himself, "I'll bet. I had one like that at Talladega in ASCA last year with two laps to go. I was leading and got turned down toward the inside, jerked the wheel back and the tires gripped! I was going for the outside wall, head-on, at 155mph, and I was bracing for the worst hit of my career. It was bittersweet when I felt another car T-bone the right side of my own... I hate to say it, but I'm glad he took the impact from me. He was okay, and so was I."
I scoffed, "I did hit the wall like that before. That one hurt. Guess where?"
Brandon knew me all too well, "Daytona." He winked.
We both shared a laugh before we continued eating.
Among our chatter, I neglected to raise one topic - Brandy. I did not tell Brandon that Louis had hooked me up with a girl. And, of course, the same Louis I had spoken poorly of with Brandon. I didn't worry too much about it, though.
Our meal, on the other hand, ended as wonderfully as it began. Side-by-side, we walked out of the restaurant. We didn't dare hold hands yet, as we were still at a public place, but I could feel his warmth by my side and it subsequently warmed me inside.
Him in the passenger's seat, I drove down the street as he directed me to his hotel... but, oddly enough, the further I drove, the more that it became apparent that he had no intentions of going home tonight.
I parked the car in the new personal garage outside of the four-star hotel I stayed in. We parked the car for a moment, and I looked into my passenger's seat to see Brandon staring very seductively at me. I could not help but blush.
"Brandon?" I asked nervously, "You want to spend the night I am assuming?" I knew where this would surely head, but boy did it make me nervous. I tried to hide it, but my paw sweated and shook underneath his the whole drive home.
He didn't answer, but moved his muzzle close to my face, close enough that I could feel his hot breath on my cheekfur. He leaned forward and gave me a powerful nuzzle with his cheek, breathing deeply and evenly.
I blushed even harder, but proceeded to return the nuzzle. I could only follow his lead.
He pulled away and placed his paws on my shoulder. We both looked into each others' blue eyes for a moment, our noses all but touching. His warm paws ruffled my shoulder fur ever so slightly as his short, wet tongue reached out and stroked slowly over my black nose, eliciting a sigh from me. My ears did fall back a little, and my tail curled underneath me.
I closed the gap between our noses and nuzzled his cheek with my muzzle, smiling passionately, "I didn't want to be alone tonight." Then I pulled myself away, "Follow me, I'll show you where my room is." I quickly turned my body away to exit the car, but when I opened the door, I felt a tug on my arm. I turned my head and was met by two soft, thin lips pressed to my own. He couldn't hold himself back, and now neither could I. I closed the door and sunk into the first kiss of my life, letting out a shuddering breath through my nose as I felt his warmth wrapping around my chest.
Our mouths didn't move much during, but sparks of energy traded between the simple contact, the soft and tender touch and the atmosphere laden with a musky scent that completely erased any thoughts of leaving the car.
He looked into my teal eyes as we parted, "Did ya like?"
I looked into his eyes and almost proudly stated, "It was my first. But if that was a bad kiss, then I'm afraid a good one would be an impossible feat."
He giggled and bit his tongue, his ears folding back a little, "That was your first kiss?"
I blushed a little and smiled, my dimples showing, "Yeah. Is that a bad thing?"
He let out a soft, seductive murr, "Not unless you had wished this next one was."
This time he pressed his lips to me even harder, parting them and letting his soft, smooth tongue stroke my closed lips gently. Feeling daring, I parted them and pushed my own tongue into action. I fell across the seat and embraced him, feeling his fur against my face, rubbing his belly paunch, smelling his musk strongly under his tired, sweaty body as our tongues licked each other softly, tasting the interior of each others' hot muzzles.
After our brief but passionate kiss concluded, he held me close for a good few minutes, rubbing me firmly. I could feel his warm, strong paw on my light gray arm fur again. I could not believe what this had escalated into so quickly... me and him, close as anyone could get, taking in each other with all five senses. He sighed and I could feel his breath warming my neck. It felt like heaven to know that it was his breath, his touch, his body against mine. I didn't want anything else in life other than this moment. I felt like I was put on Earth simply to experience this.
"Jasper... um... there's more room in the back." I detected a little nervousness in him saying this, I could tell, but I had already surpassed that level. I just had my first date, my first kiss, and still I dared to go a little further in a single night?
I shyly slunk into the back of my Forester while he lowered the backseats to create a little more room.
"Go ahead and relax, hon." He encouraged.
I followed his directions and laid on my back, facing him with my two soft paws underneath the back of my head. I watched him fiddle with my seats a little and listened to them drop and the snapping and clicking of the device, then he faced me again with those beautiful eyes glowing underneath the streetlight. He crawled into the back of the car and cuddled up next to me gently, placing a paw on my chest. Though I tried to hide my nerves, I shuddered every now and then in the tension.
He called me on it, "Aww, are you nervous?" He asked me with a sympathetic smile.
I blushed hard and responded, "Very. I'm sorry, I've never done anything like this before." I didn't bother to lie, I knew the sweetheart by my side would never judge me.
He giggled, "You have no idea how cute you are, do you?"
I blushed even harder if it was at all possible. I loved him calling me cute. For the many times I've been called it by any fan or family member, hearing it from him felt exactly as it should.
Then things started getting a little frisky, "You're hard, Jasper." He noticed, looking down at the bulge in my jeans.
I shuddered a little in all my nerves. He didn't lie, though. The passion and lust just delivered to me by this beautiful tanuki, not to mention his scent filling my car, drove my primal urges into a frenzy.
His paw slowly crept down my torso and onto my jeans. He elaborately unbuttoned them, moving his muzzle and face close to my beltline as I watched, and then he slowly and teasingly pulled the gold zipper down. His left paw busied itself rubbing and stroking my white-furred chest, and his right quested into my boxers and felt my hot, fleshy erection, cupping my white sheath with his soft black pawpads.
Being a little self-conscious of myself, I let out a bit of a sigh, holding back a groan as I felt him begin to stroke me. His paw went up and down, slowly and rhythmically. It felt so different, so new, so refreshing to be pawed off by someone else. It was what had been missing from the ten years I'd done it; the passion and the erotic feeling of sharing my pleasure with someone else.
I felt compelled to give something back, now. I couldn't have him doing all the work, so I looked questioningly into his nearby eyes. His nose didn't rest more than an inch from my own. I silently moaned a little as he picked up his speed, his hot breath on my face once again.
"Feel good?" He breathed knowingly, his eyes seductive.
I nodded and then inquired, "Can I...?" I gestured toward his pants.
He giggled a little, "You can have at me, sweetie."
With this, it was no contest. My feelings would not hold back anymore. I quickly unfastened his black pants and unzipped them, reaching in myself to feel his long, meaty length. He gasped a little upon my first touch as I could smell his musk full force.
"Oh, damn..." He whispered. I looked into his eyes and smiled, feeling my erection being stroked a little faster.
I struggled to keep up with him, I could tell he had a little more experience than I did, but I didn't have any issue keeping him hard.
"Focus more on the tip. Everyone paws off differently, I won't get off on the same strokes you would."
He didn't need to know this from me as my body would go rigid every time he did something right and used that to his advantage. I followed his instructions and then got met by an almost immediate high moan. Yep, it worked.
After another moment or two of stroking each other, he pressed his muzzle to mine again and forced his tongue between my lips, feeling its softness invade me with sensual strokes across my own tongue. I lifted mine and began to make out with him, swirling my tongue around his and basically copying everything that he gave me; all I had to go off of. His smooth insertions and sweeps were what I really wanted to learn, as each one gave me a small mental orgasm.
I had to stop and shake myself to the reality a couple of times that I had not yet woken up, and that this wild pretense had not yet vanished, and therefore had to be real. Brandon's tongue still wriggled in my mouth, his paw still fished around in my pants, his pent-up excitement pulsing in my paw, and we still found ourselves in my car half naked.
As his tongue and paw stimulated me physically, the emotional stimulation had long-passed fulfilled. Brandon Reese, the fur I'd been crushing on for a while, the lone man I had enough in common with to be openly myself, had now taken me this far in just two months! From deep in the closet to exposed in the back of my car.
I fell very shy, especially when I got closer to my orgasm. I panted heavily and clenched my eyes shut tight.
"Hmm?" He groaned out into my muzzle.
"Mm-hmm! Mm-hmm! MMM!" I groaned loud as he stroked me faster. I felt my body tighten, my muscles tense. With my free paw I grabbed his head and pushed my tongue deep into him, feeling his throat and tasting every corner of that wonderful mouth doing the same to me. His soft tongue continued to lap against mine in tender caress as I felt his paw bring me over the edge.
Remaining self-conscious, I buried my moans and cries deep within me with a soft grunt, shooting my pearly white fluid on the surface between us. The cataclysmic force of the climax was like none I'd ever felt masturbating. My body thrust itself forward as the first pulse washed over me like a tidal wave of sheer ecstasy. My eyes rolled into the back of my head and my tongue went numb in his mouth. I pulsed again and again, each heralded with a soft, satisfied grunt. My back arched out during my wonderful orgasm, and after a countless amount of potent throbs and pulses, it slowly began to die down.
Then he broke the kiss.
I blushed hard, especially after I saw a small puddle of my own seed on the surface between us. I didn't stop stroking him, though.
"How was it?" He sounded a little breathless. He neared his climax.
I remained hush as I panted a little, "Felt great."
He giggled and gasped a little, "That's great, cutie. Ohh... but don't you dare stop!"
I looked down at his erection. He leaked quite a bit onto my hand, and it had grown to an impressive size. His hips thrusted into my paw once, then again, and then he moaned my name a couple of times and I was met by a large pulse and a sudden tensing of muscles. His orgasm shot hard, and I could tell by the moans and squeaks that it definitely felt good. I stroked him hard and fast to make it feel as good as possible, and I watched as his face contorted in the pleasure, his jaw hanging open in passionate moans, and his body jerking about in front of me. His thick fluids shot as far as mine did and mixed in with them, the scents of them combining into a stronger, unique smell.
"How was that?" I eyed him nervously.
He panted breathlessly with the look of relief evident on his visage, "Breathtaking."
We pulled each other close and I felt that wonderful hot breath of his stroke me again. I buried myself in his creamy brown chest fluff and didn't even care that I lay in our fluids, as long as I had him with me. We both removed the remainder of our clothes and lie naked together for the rest of the night. We coated ourselves in the sticky stuff a couple more times that night, but it was nothing a shower the next morning wouldn't fix.
Tonight, for the first time in my life, I had someone there with me. Someone worth fighting for, someone worth my remaining passion, and above all, someone who understood what it felt like to live a secret life. I knew there had to be something about that night.