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Chapter 57: Pains of the Heart

Geoff woke with a start at the sound of Nathanial's scream and instantly jumped out of bed. He stepped out of the stairwell and practically tripped over the pup as he crouched on the floor shaking violently. Geoff had a momentary sense of vertigo and confusion; he couldn't recall getting from Nathanial's bed to here, but he promptly forgot it as he wrapped his boyfriend in his black-furred arms. "Pup, what's wrong? What happened?" He glanced up at everyone else in the kitchen, his ears flipping to the back as he heard Nicholas and Micah running across the room downstairs.

Garret looked horrified, like he'd caused Nathanial's pain, and Geoff felt himself growling at the older Akita. Liam stepped up, "Let me see him. I believe this is one of his nightmares returned, likely one that involved some form of abuse received at the paws of Mr. Marks. Mic... Marks-kun can answer that." Geoff continued to hold Nathanial but not as closely, so Liam could check him. Nathanial's heart beat was slowing down, as was his breathing, but his eyes were still unfocused.

"Pup, Nathanial. I'm here, no one is going to hurt you." Geoff gave Nathanial a quick kiss, the terrified blue eyes locked on his for a second before closing. Nathanial gave a shuddering breath, which caught for a second at the deepest point. Nathanial's paw moved to his chest and began rubbing over his heart as he seemed to struggle to catch his breath.

"Ugh, where? Where am...? Oh." Nathanial opened his eyes and turned his head to meet Garret's gaze. Micah and Nicholas stumbled on the last few steps to avoid bowling over Geoff.

Nicholas snarled, "Gods, Geoff! Don't sit at the top of the stairs if you're going to go all dark like that! We barely saw you in time." He didn't give Geoff time to answer, but Geoff could feel his hackles rise at the tone, "Nathanial? What... what happened!? Are you all right?"

Garret was slowly backing up as he kept his eyes fixed on Nathanial's. Nathanial lifted a paw up, "Dad? I-I'm sorry for scaring you. Well, all of you. It... it was so real. I can still feel the pain." Nathanial's voice became pleading, "Please, Dad, don't leave me."

Garret stopped, his eyes tearing up, "I'm sorry, Nathanial. I'd never hurt you, not like that. I don't know what came over me yesterday, well, other than that damned Succubus' magic." Nicholas paled and his legs started shaking slightly. "I don't think of any of you like that, I don't want any of you sexually. I... I'm sorry, Nathanial, I'm so sorry."

Nathanial's face was painted in confusion, "What are you talking about? It was a dream." Nathanial shuddered, again, his paw rubbing even harder over his chest. Geoff reached down with his free one and took the paw in his own. Nathanial smiled weakly up at him, but Geoff just looked at Liam, silently asking a question.

Liam, in turn, looked up at Faelen, "Love, please put the kettle... ah, you have anticipated me, again. I may try to make you my nurse, should you keep this up."

Faelen lowered his gaze to his paws as he filled up the kettle, "I..." He shook his head, "I still serve my master, I haven't fully made up my mind about everything, but I still serve Geoff."

Nathanial tensed up in Geoff's arms, a note of fear in his voice, "What? What do you mean? What happened?"

Geoff and Liam shot a dark look at a sheepish Faelen. Liam's voice was dry, "You may be good at anticipating some things, but it appears you need to work on some aspects of patient care. Such as not exacerbating the problem. Your timing in bringing that subject up is very poor, we will deal with it later. Nathanial, please take a few slow deep breaths, in time with me. Everyone else, please give us some space. The two young Marks, breakfast is ready. Get your food, everyone, and take it into the dining room. Geoff, pick him up and bring him to the massage table. Faelen, bring the tea down when it's done. A mug, only, pour another for Mr. Marks." Liam turned to Snow and began making those odd dog noises. Snow slipped past Geoff and vanished into the stairwell. "Move!" Liam stood and clapped his paws together to get people moving. Nathanial's breathing seemed a little easier, Geoff could hear that Nathanial was breathing in time with Liam. Geoff found himself matching them as he waited for everyone to move off before trying to stand, Liam helped him up and keep his balance. Falling down the stairs wouldn't be that fun. Geoff carefully carried Nathanial down to the table, and put him on it. Liam put his paw on Geoff's shoulder, "Suppress your Spirit, Geoff. I want to restrict the amount of Yang he is exposed to for some time. It is not helping."

Geoff felt his insides turn to ice, 'I should've dumped him back then. It isn't just his anger problems that I've caused but I'm making his heart worse, too. I really am killing him.'

Liam snorted, "Shut up, Geoff." Geoff jumped, looking around for Faelen. "No, I am not Faelen." Liam began rubbing Nathanial's back, "If you would rub his hindpaws, please. I really need to teach you how to massage, it would be a skill you could get much practice in." Geoff moved to Nathanial's hindpaws and began rubbing them but Nathanial kept twitching. "Not so light, you are tickling him. You must use a firmer touch on the hindpaws. You were concerned you are causing the problems Nathanial is having, were you not?" Geoff hesitated before nodding. He could feel Nathanial's muscles tense to protest, but Liam slapped the back of his head, making the Akita squawk, "Silence, Nathanial. Focus on your breathing. Geoff will realize that he is not entirely correct." Both of them started to protest, but Liam's growl cut them off. Snow walked in to the room carrying Liam's medical bag. "Thank you, Snow. Move up to Nathanial's back, Geoff. Just rub, it need not be a proper massage, the contact is sufficient to soothe him. You help soothe him. You could even just brush his back, should you wish."

Nathanial lifted his head as Liam walked over to the kitchenette, "Will you tell me what's got everyone so worked up, now? I noticed it last night, you all kept staring at my paw every time I rubbed my chest and everyone kept acting like I was about to board Charon's ferry. It's more than just stress."

Liam looked over his shoulder, "What was the dream about? Ah, Faelen, good timing. You should sit up to drink this, Nathanial. Geoff, you may as well get the brush and brush him while he drinks."

Nathanial shivered as he thought about that nightmare, "It doesn't matter, it was a dream. I thought you'd want me to try to forget it."

Liam pulled dozens of things out of his bag as Geoff quickly ran to grab the brush. Liam shrugged, "No, I do not. I want you to dissect it to see why it was a nightmare for you, what it is in the various scenes that troubles you and why. Then you will understand it and it will lose much of its power over you. You seem incapable of forgetting things that trouble you this greatly."

Nathanial shivered a little more strongly as Geoff was running back out of the bathroom. It'd only taken a second to find the brush, so he was back at Nathanial's side before he could finish shaking. Geoff pulled him into a hug. Nathanial sighed and wrapped his arms Geoff's neck, "I love you. I was thinking this morning of how happy I am to have met you and fallen in love. You've changed my life so much, I'm so grateful to you." A tear ran down Nathanial's cheek as he pulled his head back to look into Geoff's eyes. Geoff's stomach turned into a mass of knots; horrible feelings of guilt and shame twisted in him waging war on the feelings of love and happiness that came as he saw the genuine love in Nathanial's eyes. Nathanial smiled, "Shut up, Geoff, and kiss me."

Geoff smiled weakly, "It isn't that funny, guys. Am I that easy to read?"

The three of them chorused, "Yes," but Liam continued, "Faelen knows you very well, having been with you your whole lives, he can also smell your emotions. I can read it in your Chi as it tangles up when you are upset, if you are in close proximity. Anyone could see how troubled you are right now, and Nathanial is staring right in your eyes. Now kiss him so he can drink the tisane." Geoff blushed and lowered his eyes, but moved his head forward to meet Nathanial's muzzle. A shiver ran down his spine as Nathanial's soft lips pressed against his own, Nathanial softly 'murred' and pulled Geoff in closer. Geoff opened his mouth slightly to press his tongue against Nathanial's lips, Nathanial opened to let him in. The passion of the kiss rapidly escalated, Geoff's own inner torment was long forgotten by the obvious feeling behind Nathanial's actions. He had no idea how long he was kissing Nathanial, only that by the time Liam stopped them they were both fully erect and leaking profusely. The crotch of Nathanial's pants were soaked from the combined flows of pre-cum. Liam was smiling as he stood in front of Faelen; Faelen's arms were wrapped around his lover, and both looked amused and happy. Liam was sporting an erection barely contained in his boxer-briefs with a wet spot on the front.

Geoff blushed, "Heh, sorry. I guess we got a little carried away."

Liam smiled, "It helped calm both of you, or, more accurately, it helped alleviate the stress and unwarranted feelings of guilt. Now, Nathanial, drink." Liam lifted the mug off one of the supports beneath the table and passed it over.

Nathanial drank the cooled liquid quickly, "What were you working on?"

Liam's expression indicated it was an unnecessary question, "Medicine." Nathanial rolled his eyes and sighed, "In truth." Nathanial growled, smiling slightly. Liam smiled back, "A potion for you, obviously. However, I want your help. I want you to channel a little of that Light energy into me so I can strengthen my Chi as I finish it. It will amplify the benefits of the medicine and reduce the potential side effects." Liam disengaged himself from Faelen and motioned Nathanial to follow him to the kitchenette. "It is finished except for adding the juice extracted from a frog's liver that was brewed for a month in a potion comprised of many things, including holly, rose petals, and bacon grease. From ethically raised pigs, of course. Then I need to infuse it with Chi."

Geoff's stomach plunged, "Wh-what? Frog liver?" Nathanial didn't look all that happy either.

Liam chuckled, "Is laughter not the best medicine? You are not laughing. Of course that is not the last ingredient, I never use bacon in my medicines." Snow muttered something, making Nathanial and Liam laugh, "Snow thinks I should, he says bacon is very tasty." He picked up an eyedropper, "If you would, Nathanial?" Snow growled and walked toward Nathanial's room. Nathanial walked up to Liam and put his paws on Liam's shoulders, taking a deep breath. Geoff cringed as he felt an oppressive atmosphere move into the room. It was like having the strictest and most unfair teacher ever leaning over your shoulder as you were trying to write a test, constantly scolding you for not working fast enough or paying enough attention. The light in the basement seemed a lot brighter making Geoff's eyes burn. Liam dipped the eyedropper into a tiny vial and picked up the smallest amount of a brownish liquid, he dropped it into a glass bottle and quickly wrapped both paws around the bottle and slowly exhaled. Nathanial shook his head a bit like he was trying to shoo away a fly or get rid of an unpleasant noise. The contents of the bottle, a murky, dark green colour, began to glow slightly and swirl around. Liam seemed to concentrate for a dozen seconds before releasing the bottle. It was now full of a slightly luminescent green liquid, the shade of fresh spinach. "Done." Nathanial sighed and stepped back. Geoff blinked as things returned to normal.

Faelen glanced at him, "Didn't like that?"

Geoff shook his head, "No, it was... unsettling."

Liam snorted, "See, Nathanial? It is not surprising that Light and Dark creatures do not like each other. Merely channelling Light energy around a Dark Spirit was unpleasant for him and I noticed Snow left the room before you began. Now, this potion is remarkably potent. It is far stronger than I anticipated, so I want you to take very little of it at a time. Two drops, no more, three times daily. It must be on an empty stomach, so an hour before a meal or two hours after one. They must also be three hours apart, or greater. I repeat, two drops three times a day. Two drops."

Nathanial huffed, "Yes! I got it, five drops, two times a day." Liam growled, he didn't sound amused. "Okay, no joking. Two drops, three times. What would happen if I took five drops?"

Liam shrugged, "I do not know. It might cause your heart to stop, possibly complete paralysis." Nathanial laughed weakly, but Geoff didn't think Liam was joking. Liam glared at Nathanial, "I am not joking. Two drops. Small ones. At least three hours apart." Nathanial gulped and looked at the bottle with wide eyes. "I probably do not have to tell you, but it is taken orally. Do not put it in your eyes. Also, put a drop on your tongue then mix it with your saliva before swallowing, then take the second. It will tingle, it is the mandrake root which has other uses, such as an anaesthetic."

Nathanial's eyes went wide, "Isn't mandrake poisonous?"

Liam raised a tan eyebrow, "Yes. Is that a problem?" Geoff was shocked but couldn't help but laugh at Nathanial's expression. Liam smirked, his voice was lightly teasing, "It appears it is. How unfortunate. Most of the ingredients are quite toxic, it is a pity you do not have a skilled Healer to prepare them in such a way as to make a proper medicine. I shall offer my condolences to your family at this time, rather than wait until after your horrendous and lengthy demise. Oh, did I mention that you are only to take two drops at a time?"

Nathanial's head drooped, "Yes, Sensei. I'm sorry if I offended you, I trust you."

Liam clapped his paw on Nathanial's upper arm, "No offence, Nathanial. You should change and we should go up to reassure your family."

Geoff frowned, "You said there was side effects. What are they?"

Liam shook his head, "The Light energy will mitigate most of it, but reduced appetite is the primary one to expect. Then you might suffer from drowsiness, typically fifteen minutes after taking a dose, and it may last up to an hour. Increased rate of fatigue; reduced heart rate, which is a related symptom; muscle aches; and reduced magic abilities, primarily in sensory applications. Then you get the standard catchall list which goes up to death, but we covered the death part."

Geoff sighed, "That's the mitigated list? It's a good thing you put that blasted Light stuff in it, then."

Liam nodded, "Indeed. Perhaps you now know why I have been reluctant to provide this medicine for him. Had I had this option earlier I would have given it to him within the first week of our meeting. The normal side effects are much more severe and the medicine not so potent, requiring higher doses over a longer period. In truth, I do not anticipate any side effects other than the reduced appetite. The reduced magic capability is the second, only because of Nathanial's comment last night. Now, go change. Love, I believe Mrs. McDougal did not approve of our lack of clothing, we should dress as well. Please note, Nathanial, I did not forget that you did not answer my question about your dream. I will get the answer later."

Nathanial was walking ahead of Geoff and had just entered his bedroom, he lowered his head and slowed down. Geoff stepped in behind him and wrapped him in a hug. Nathanial yelped in panic and pulled away. He spun around with his paws on his rump, panting, and eyes wide in terror. Geoff froze, "I-I'm sorry! I was just trying to comfort you, you seemed upset. I didn't..." Liam and Faelen were at the door, watching in concern. Geoff slowly walked forward, arms wide.

Nathanial backed up with each step Geoff took, they both stopped after three. Nathanial took a deep breath, "I-I'm sorry, too. I don't know what happened, it just made me think of the dream. D-dad, um, raped me. H-he was in bed with me when I woke up and- and..." Tears ran down Nathanial's cheeks, he brushed them away angrily, "It was a dream! A stupid dream that wasn't even mine! But I can still feel the pain whenever I think of it. I can smell the blood, hear his voice and my screams, see his face twist up with lust, loathing, and delight at the pain he was going to cause me. I-I..." Nathanial sunk to his knees, shivering uncontrollably.

Liam put his paw on Faelen's arm, "Go fetch Mr. Marks, please." Faelen glanced at Geoff before running off. Geoff could practically hear the 'Stay!' Faelen seemed to want to say to him. Geoff felt even more guilty. Liam walked around Geoff and put his arms around Nathanial, "If this occurred in your room, I would like you to be moved to the couch. Can you stand, Nathanial?" Nathanial tried, but couldn't get his legs to work. Liam's lips quirked up in a small smile, "Perhaps some aromatherapy is in order." He pulled Nathanial's nose into the crook of his neck, "Take a deep breath, through your nose." Silent laughter made the Rottweiler's shoulders quiver. Nathanial took a deep sniff and his shaking calmed down, a few more breaths and he was composed again. Liam did laugh at that, "Faelen was right, my scent is oddly soothing for you two." He rubbed Nathanial's back and licked between his eyes, Liam's muzzle was too short to let him lick at Nathanial's ears. Nathanial still hadn't moved his nose away, so Liam pushed him back gently and stood up, "Come along, my friend. To the couch." Geoff felt a pang of jealousy at how easily Liam got Nathanial to calm down. Liam shooed Geoff ahead of them and they all went to the entertainment area. Liam put Geoff on one side of the couch and Nathanial in the middle. Garret and Faelen came running down the stairs. "Nathanial, Geoff is going to put his arm over your shoulder and pull you against him. Is that permissible?" Nathanial nodded and Geoff pulled him close. He could feel how tense the dog was, but he quickly relaxed and snuggled in. "Mr. Marks, please walk over here and stand on the far side of the table." Nathanial began tensing up and shivering as Garret walked into view.

Geoff leaned over and whispered into Nathanial's ear, "Hush. I'm here, love. Breathe slowly. Remember it was only a dream, one that the Succubus gave you to try to destroy your happiness. You love your da, right?"

Nathanial nodded, whispering a little uncertainly, "Yeah, you're right." He spoke a little louder and with more confidence, "I-I'm sorry for scaring you, Dad. It was a dream, just a dream. I love you, I'm really glad you're here." Nathanial met Garret's guilty and scared eyes. Nathanial lifted up a shaking paw, "Please." Garret looked at Liam, who nodded, and slowly walked around the coffee table to take Nathanial's paw in his own. Nathanial flinched but firmly squeezed the larger paw. Garret whimpered and knelt down, his ears were flat against his head and his tail curled between his legs. Nathanial smiled weakly and put his other paw on Garret's cheek, as he tried to subtly move closer to Geoff. Geoff licked around Nathanial's ears, trying to help calm him down. It seemed to be working a little.

Liam looked pleased, "Good. Just spend a little time like this, do not make any sudden movements or try to get too close too quickly, and it should allow you to begin to overcome this attack." Faelen seemed to be considering something before smiling a little. He began singing an old lullaby, Hestia's Cradle, one of the few Geoff could think of that didn't have a lot of disturbing lyrics. Faelen had a very nice voice and it fit very well with the song, even if it was normally sung by a woman. Garret smiled, too, looking lost in thought for a while before joining in, his voice blended in well with Faelen's. Both of them were tenors, but Faelen's had a slightly richer and darker quality, while Garret's voice was clear, almost trumpeting. Liam's eyes widened slightly before he smiled and shook his head. Garret's ears moved up to their normal position, and his tail began to move back, wagging ever so slightly.

Nathanial sighed, his muscles relaxing a little more. He gulped and patted the couch beside him. Garret kept singing and carefully moved onto the couch, keeping his eyes locked on Nathanial's. Nathanial began shaking as Garret sat down but moved away from Geoff to slowly lean into Garret's side. Garret gulped, too, and gently put his arm around Nathanial. Nathanial squeaked but didn't move away. Geoff could hear Nathanial chanting, "It was a dream. It was a dream." Nathanial wrapped his arms around Garret and snuggled in. Garret's voice quivered a little, the emotion in it was palpable, but it seemed to relax Nathanial even more.

Garret stopped singing to gently lick Nathanial's ears, "I love you, Son. I never wanted to hurt you."

Nathanial nodded, his head rubbing along Garret's chest, "I know, Dad. I love you, too. It was just a dream, you don't have anything to apologize for."

Garret seemed to steel himself before lifting Nathanial up, "No, not all of it. In the shower after swimming I, um, you started sucking on my dick. It was when that damned Succubus was messing with us, I, uh, lost control. I started fucking your mouth and couldn't stop, even when you begged, I-I just couldn't stop. I hurt you. I'm so sorry." Tears began running down Garret's face.

Nathanial was wide-eyed at the confession, but still didn't seem to remember it. He just smiled slightly and leaned in to lick up the tears, "It doesn't matter, Dad. I've been hurt worse, many times, and no one has ever apologized for that. You have. I forgive you, so forgive yourself. You're my dad. I've dreamt for over ten years about it; having a dad, my dad, and you're finally here. Having you hold me like this is a real dream come true, so, please, don't pull away out of guilt or anything. Just, please, stay. Tell me you love me and are proud of me every once in a while. Be my dad."