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Within Our Darkest Hours

Chapter 3: White Noise

One o'clock am was always a time to just kick back and relax when you work in a jazz bar business. Most costumers are drunk off their toes, sipping hard drinks and listening to either a live band or one of the many records that the establishments offer. Tonight was like any other night of the week, slow, very painfully slow. Jazz music was the pride and joy of Louisiana but in this town, the majority of furs who wanted to listen to jazz and drink were normally there for the live bands and were of the older gentleman physique. Not too much action on that end of the spectrum for Chester, eyes or other wise. Week nights like this night tend to be the slowest out of all days for bars like this. Not to many people want to get loaded when they have work in the morning, but there was always someone, just one person who didn't care about their life at the moment and just wanted to drown their feelings in a bottle of gin.

Chet placed the dish rag in his paw down on the counter and lazily gazed at the different patrons at the bar. The closet fur to him was a yellow lab mix who had a very sorrowful and tired look in his dull brown eyes. He looked like he really needed the strong drink clutched in his large paws. A soft sigh escaped his lips as Chet leaned back against the large oak liquor cabinet. He wished he could just put down the rag, untuck his uniform attire and just sit down a take a large drink himself, make time work for him for once. Of course getting fired would be the result of that course of action but he didn't care. His nerves had been shot from the past two days of anxiety related panic attacks that came from the horrors of his mind in his sleep. What caused him to have such a vivid nightmare the other night was beyond him but it had kept him up all of that night and last night as well. It was not the dreams recurrence that was causing Chet's lack of sleep but the fear of experiencing the dream again was causing Chester to try and avoid sleep at all costs.

But even he knew coffee and cigarette could only keep you up for so long.

As sleep deprived and irritable as he was, he still knew the reason for his dream. After staying up for two nights thinking about just what his nightmare was based around he came to a swift and dreadful conclusion. Deep down in his subconscious, he was still madly in love with both his ex's.

Chet frowned in thought.

He was most certainly in love with Dabbs, but he already knew that much yet, the thought of still harboring feelings from brian scared him, scared him real bad.

Have I not grown beyond my past relationships? My past mistakes?

A feeling of lost hopelessness climbed into his stomach and left him feeling heavy and depressed. It was times like these when he wished he had never moved back to this fucking backwater town.

He needed a vacation. The Bahamas' seemed like a nice idea for this time of year.

A clink from a shot glass hitting the counter brought Chet back to the reality that was around him. It was time to stop pitying himself and get back to his job that paid his surprisingly expensive bills. The downtrodden lab who put the glass down looked like he needed the booze a bit more than Chet did and he pitied the dog a little bit out of sheer exhaustion. He knew what it felt like to be at the point where the dog was at, so tired and low that a bottle became a very close ally. He decided that he had time to pity himself later.

A solemn look from the dog told Chet everything he needed to know. He wanted him to get him another drink. So his job commenced, refilling the yellow labs drink, accepting the money, and scanning the bar area for anyone else who needed a refill. Still, his mind wonder back to the dark hole that he put him self in. Dabbs had not called since their little fight, which was not usual. They had fought before, like any other couple would have even if they were broken up. Thing is, it was never as bad as what happened on saturday night. Chet wrinkled his brow in frustration, feeling his palms begin to sweat. He loved the snow leopard with all his heart but...going back to him...Dabbs even said he would only break his heart again. He slept around...that was Dabbs, there was no changing that. He knew that, the cat knew that, everyone in his bar knew that, so what was the big issue at paw?

"So why can't I just accept it?" He thought to himself staring down at the slumped over lab.

The raccoon sat rubbed his head in frustration.

Could it be I just want the old Dabbs back in my life, like how we used to be?

Was there ever really an old Dabbs? Or was he always a liar?

And what about Brian? Can i forgive him?

Would he forgive me?

All his thoughts began to run around in his head making it throb again like that first night when he stumbled in the door. It felt like some one somewhere was taking apart his heart and mind piece by piece just to watch him squirm. Who ever that was Chet concluded must be one evil son of a bitch.

Chet let out his second muffled sigh for the night as he saw a badger approach the counter with money in paw. Love sucks.

* "Closing time, open all the door and let you out into the world..." The raccoon sang and chuckled to him self quietly. Chet always found it funny to sing this song as the final minutes of his long night shift were ticking away. He could relate back to the young wolf girl in the music video who was flipping stools and wiping off the counters and...well calling her boyfriend.

Chet frowned.

He used to be able to do that last part. Now...all he had to do was tidy up, count the money, lock up and wait to hear from his boss about how he did in the morning. Flipping open the register, he began counting the thin bills inside starting with the ones, then the fives then the...

*DING*

The raccoon spun around quickly, almost panicked. The last customer left around twenty minutes ago. It was almost two thirty in the morning and the streets were dead. Chet was surprised that he didn't even here a car roll up with the music being off for the night and everyone having left. The eerie silence of the bar at this hour always seemed to fade into a white noise for Chester, becoming what he normally was used to, like he was in his own little world of thought and solemnness. The bar didn't close till three but with no one here closing early was a normalcy. The stranger walked into the smoky den, face hidden behind a pressed grey velvet fedora. His matching grey over coat flapped up slightly with the breeze from the entry revealing a neatly pressed pair of black dress pants. He reached into the top breast pocket of his jacket and pulled out a pack of camel cigarettes before placing one in his mouth. Taking out a small silver zipo and lighting the cigarette, the stranger flipped up the brim of his hat as he exhaled a long and heavy drag of white smoke. The stranger gave a curt smile, lips still tightly curled around his cigarette making Chet's tense face ease up at the sight of the slender charcoal black wolf. He was walking up toward the counter with a slow and careful strut.

The stranger placed his left paw on the counter while taking off his hat with his right. With the cigarette still clenched in between his teeth, the stranger looked up at Chet, his bright ice blue eyes locking in with the raccoon's honey colored amber ones. He sat down on the stool and pulled the cigarette out of his mouth with his free hand.

Chet felt himself start to sweat slightly as the wolf just stared at his ever so nonchalantly at him, making him very uncomfortable. His cigarette was moving in and out of his muzzle, the stranger savoring each puff and letting them out in long white trails of smoke. Chet was still standing above him behind the counter in dead silence. The dim wall lamps cast dark shadows on his coat laden body as he sat there silently smoking, taking passing glances at the raccoon. Chet needed to say something but the words kept catching in his throat before he would speak them. The wolf kept his head at a low angle making it hard to even see his face in such poor lighting. Chet swallowed a bit louder than he would have wanted to and forced words out of his muzzle.

"Um sir...I'm just about to close shop I'm really..." He was interrupted by a small smile and another cigarette drag. His words trailed off and ran into the hick plumes of smoke.

"Oh...I'm sorry, it's just the sign on the door says till three and I thought..."

Chet cursed himself mentally, he was one of those guys. The clock said 2:23am, last call for booze was still good for another eight minutes. The raccoon mentally signed, he still had one last customer. The customer that he always served with a slight grudge. This had happened maybe twice before in his entire life as a bar tender and always it was the same. The fellow would push the booze call till the last minute and then order a bunch of really time consuming drinks making Chet have to work slightly overtime. He knew he would be getting home late tonight.

He shook his head. Sometimes the world really is full of assholes.

"No, your right. It was just a dead for the last 45 minutes so I began to close," he leaned his elbows against the counter to get a better look at the wolfs face wanting to push the angle that he wanted to leave, "What would you like?"

The wolf smiled again and gave a large toothy smile.

"A horny bull please."

Chet felt his cheeks blush with nervousness. It wasn't the name of the poorly named highball drink that made him blush, but the wolf himself. Now that he had a better look at him from a lower angle he felt bashful when he saw he face up close. The wolf was young, maybe in his mid twenties. His face was very rigid, with each part of his muzzle defined by sharp clean angles. His eyes were one of the most beautiful ice blues that Chet had ever seen. His eyebrows were white and his chin fur also white running down the front of his neck, probably across his belly. Chet felt his sheath twitch at the thought of seeing what this strange wolf was packing under his coat. He knew he had a dirty mind at times but for him this was new. Never once in this bar had a stranger began to turn him on like so. He almost felt desperate for a few seconds.

Chet realized he was staring when the wolf cleared his throat with a muffled cough. Blushing harder, the raccoon went to the shelf, grabbed a clean highball glass, a bottle of blanco tequila and some orange juice. With a couple pours, some shakes of the mixer and one final pour he produced the strong fruit beverage in front of the handsome stranger.

"Here you go..." Chet spoke in a barely audible accepting the money that was placed in front of him.

The wolf took a large sip from the glass and made that lip smacking ahhh noise before quizzically staring at the raccoon bartender.

"Well...this is awkward." The wolf chuckled, Chet raised an eyebrow in question.? There was a brief silence of staring between the wolf and the raccoon, neither party blinking or averting eye contact.

"Are you just gonna stand and watch just me drink this beverage and probably a few more till I'm nice and drunk or are you gonna pull up a seat and have one with me?" The strange wolf spoke. His english was very strong with a small twinge of a southern accent. Possibly for the upper parts of the south.

Chet frowned at the wolf with caution, "Sorry man can't drink on the job, I'll get canned."

The wolf leaned back in the shitty red bar stool, "Come on pal, can't you just bend the rules a little?"

The raccoon still had a stoic "no" face, even if he really wanted to deep down. And he really, really could use a drink.

"How bout this," The wolf suddenly leaned forward, "close up shop, lock the door, flip the sign, flip the stools whatever, and then your off duty."

Chet gave the stranger a cautious look and rubbed his chin in thought.

"Well...I guess I can do that, but my boss checks the inventory religiously every morning." Chet leaned into the counter again and looked out the window as he spoke. "Old shrew would fire my ass if he saw that the money and booze didn't add up."

The wolf was quick to respond.

"Well then we will just pay for our drinks. He doesn't keep tabs on customers does he? If we pay for our drinks, then he didn't lose any business or booze."

"Damn" thought Chet, "He's good."

The raccoon leaned back and smirked. "Ok...you win, i'll have a few with you stranger. It will be nice to have some new company to talk to for once."

* It only took a few minutes for Chet to close shop. He dimmed the lights even more then they already were to seem as closed as possible. After making himself a Highball with some whiskey and ginger ale, Chet finally sat down next to the handsome wolf and had time to relax. The wolf smiled and took another sip from his second drink of the night already.

He extended a slender black paw.

"Let's start with names before were took drunk to remember, I'm Alex, Alex Lerger."

Chet shook the firm paw of the no longer nameless wolf. "I'm Chester Savoi, friends call me Chet."

The wolf had a broad grin crawl across his face.

"Savoi eh. Your a local a presume by the cajun last name?"

Chet shrugged.

"Sort of, I'm actually a bit north from Lafayette." He took a sip of his highball. "Spent a few years in New York before I moved down here." For some odd reason that he couldn't describe, Chet felt strangely safe talking to the young canine. He was very easy to open up to...maybe too easy. Chet mentally noted to not reveal too much to this Alex. Throwing out your gay is a great way to shut down a nice conversation fast in a town like this. Not he would tell him that but...well...he was pretty cute and all...

Alex nodded in acceptance of Chet's answer. Chet retorted with his own question trying to pull the subject off of himself.

"Lerger is a cajun name as well isn't it? Yet your accent is much more subtle than mine. Are you from around here?" The raccoon probed feeling a little nosy, the strong drink probably starting to hit him.

The wolf grinned again and leaned back with an impressed look.

That damn smile, why does his smile have to be so cute?

"Very observant of you. You know your names well."

He paused and took a sip from his drink, before swallowing harshly.

"Yes and no." He stated bluntly.

Chet gave him a look of wanting an explanation. Alex took the hint and continued.

"Yes, because currently I live here back in my home town where I was born. No, because I used lived up in my mother's hometown of Smithfield Virginia. I lived there for most of my life until...my mother got really sick."

He took another sip before continuing, looking slightly buzzed yet in control.

"My mother died five years ago of pancreatic cancer. Horrible disease, not much that can be done for it." He had a solemn look in his eyes as he spoke the last part matter of fact like.

Chet grimaced and gripped his his now empty glass in his paw a bit more tightly.

"I'm sorry...that's really sad to hear." Chet's ears and tail showed his emotions to back up those words.

I give the guy a few drinks and already he's spilling his heart out to me...dammit...

"Yeah." The wolf spoke bluntly, still humbled by his own words.

Chet shifted his weight and stood up walking over to the booze on the counter to make another drink for himself. He decided to change the subject and lighten the mood. Alex spoke first before he had the chance.

"My father took it pretty badly when she died. Did everything he knew by scientific means to save her. In the end, it wasn't enough. After her death he..couldn't stay in that town anymore, moved us down here and I moved into my own place down here the next year."

Chet's ears twitched.

"You said by scientific means? What does your father do?"

The wolfs demeanor became very sublime as the booze took effect, letting him sink into the chair.

"My dad does genetic research for some big company. He was the lead for a cancer devision, trying to find a cure." He spoke flatly as he drank.

"Was?" Chet felt nosy. The wolf chuckled slightly.

"Again with the observation...you really should be a journalist or something you know that?" He noted in a joking manor. "Anyway yeah he quit after mom died, he...lost his drive. Now he just does research projects for various companies."

Chet felt the mood shift and it was not the booze this time. He really needed to chance the subject before this guy was a crying mess on the stool.

"Um... you keep mentioning journalism. Is that what you do?" Alex smiled a toothy grin at the buzzed fur across from him.

"Changing the subject eh?" He spoke in a almost laughing tone making Chet blush with embarrassment. Subtly was never his strong suit. Alex took notice of the blush and laughed lightly.

"Nah it's cool, talking about family bums me out anyhow this is supposed to be unwinding time anyway right?" He finished off his drink. "Yeah, I'm a journalist. Work for the local news studio, more of an on scene reporter than a newspaper journalist."

Chet felt his sense of humor kick in as the booze kept changing his blood alcohol levels.

"Trying to pull a hunter Thompson now are we? A little bit of Gonzo journalism?" Chet genuinely smiled this time.

Alex chuckled lightly as he stood up and walked behind the counter. He spoke as he searched the bottles, Chet to relaxed to even protest.

"Yeah, something like that, except I don't take mescaline and try to cover a bike race in the desert that I know i'm too fucked up to cover."

They both let out loose laughs. When the wolf returned back from the counter he placed a large bottle of tequila ,a bottle of ginger ale, and a pair of shot glasses on the table.

"Enough with the fancy drinks, time for a couple of Tequila Slammers to get the good vibes going."

Chet shrugged, just wanting the forget that he was getting drunk at his work. If Dabbs could see him now...

Chet huffed at that thought. Fuck what Dabbs thought right now, he decided.

They each put some money on the table and clinked glasses before downing the first of many shots to come. Chet swallowed ruff, feeling the burning of the tequila and the fizziness of the ginger ale rip his esophagus a new one. The wolf eyed him as he swallowed his own shot without problem.

"Not used to Tequila?" Alex laughed.

Chet smiled through watering eyes. "Yeah. But I will by the time the night is through."

Alex began setting up round two nodding at the slouching raccoon.

"Amen to that brother."

* After several shot and lots of silly remarks about the weather and the few pass times that this part of the world offered, the pair of furs were piss drunk. Chet slumped back in his chair, the outside world spinning in a nice manner. Driving home was going to be a pain and he knew that but at the same time he didn't care. He felt better right now with this handsome stranger than he had in the past few days. He decided fairly quickly with each passing drink that it was going to be worth it in the morning. He peered over at the slumping wolf, who seemed pretty happily drunk himself, his fluffy back tail swaying back and forth in a lazy motion. Alex peered up at the bartender and smiled. He spoke, calmly through the persuasion of the booze while he playing with a plastic drink umbrella he stole from the counter.

"So Chet." his voice shifting in funny pitch intervals. "Why did you really say ok to getting drunk with a total stranger in your own bar? Especially since it was closing time and all. You really could have just said, "Hey, shove off" and I would have."

He paused briefly.

"I mean, I don't want to ever be rude to someone I just met but most bar tenders would have told me to get the fuck out for trying to get them to get drunk in their own bar."

He snickerer a drunken laugh at his own ramblings.

"It doesn't take a journalist to figure out you had some other reason for wanting to get drunk of your ass with some cigarette smoking wolf at 2:30 in the morning."

Satisfied with his rant, he sat back and waited a response, twisting the umbrella back and forth slightly with his right paw, his eyes glazed over and unfocused.

Chet was way to drunk to think as rationally as his wolf counterpart was....even if he really was not.

This guy is smart, really smart, and clever and funny and cute...fuck he is so cute...

Chet couldn't lie to him, not like this, he knew just from the hour long discussion he had with Alex that he was a person reader. He read every little emotion and detail that Chet gave off like some kind of machine. Chet concluded early on that he must be one hell of a journalist.

"Well it's because I found you quite attractive...I mean find you quite, I mean I found you then and still find you now...goddamnit...I just said that didn't I?" The booze was really talking now...he was pretty trashed.

Chet knew he was screwed now, he let the booze get the best of his judgement and as one would say "the cat was out of the bag."

"Is that saying racist?" Chet pondered being fully aware of how drunk he must be to be thinking about that.

He felt panic settle into his Tequila riddled stomach as the wolf's eyes widened slightly. He felt his mind slip into overdrive thinking about all the worst possible scenarios of this playing out.

A fight.

A curse out session.

A complete humiliation at the hands of the wolf.

Alex gave the raccoon a puzzled stair who felt heat rising in his cheeks. It was a silent stare, the kind one would give someone if they happened to say something completely ridiculous of inconsiderate. There was the awkward silence that he feared the moment those words left his muzzle. All the sudden the raccoon felt very small...and he just wanted to disappear without a trace.

He spoke quickly before his throat closed up,

"I am so sorry that, was really uncalled for. I am just really drunk that's all, please don't think ill of me because I suck at holding my liquor I-" The wolf cut him off.

"You really think I cute Chester?" His voice not of anger but of a musing tone. His judgement might not have been the best either at the moment.

The raccoon wrinkled his brow in confusion. This was not the reaction he expected at all. If he heard right and the liquor wasn't lying to him, he would have said the Alex was happy? Really? Did he really just say that?

"Your...y-your not mad?" His voice was choppy, "I mean yeah I think your cute. Even before the booze I thought you were cute. That was part of the reason I let you stay. That and you seemed kind of bummed out so I thought I would give you a place to feel good." The one good thing about booze was the slight bravery it gave Chet. Normally by now he would have ran out of the bar, tail between his legs. Now, now the bravery stuck around and for what it's worth...he was kind of glad he was drunk right now.

Alex let that silly stupid grin crawl back onto his muzzle, that grin that played with Chet's heart strings.

"Yeah. I kind of was...I came here from a late night at work. Didn't want to go home because... it hurts too much to go home." His tail drooped as he spoke the final words softly.

Chet looked at him with compassionate eyes. He didn't have to say anything for Alex to get the picture and to continue with what he was saying.

"It hurts to go home because..." he paused a took a shallow breath, "...home reminds me of my boyfriend. The one i just broke up with after being with him fro two years. We split a few days ago."

Chet could not believe what he had just heard. Had he just said boyfriend? So he's gay?

Both furs stared at each other in the awkward silence that formed, tension building up like a tight rope cable as eyes avoided each other. Chet was the first fur to be able to think of something to say.

"So...you two broke up...that sucks man I'm really sorry to here that." Real sincerity echoed in Chet's almost useless words. Pity was best left to ones self in these kinds of establishments.

The wolf shrugged off his words.

"Shit happens...I loved him...I guess he didn't feel the same way back like I thought he did..." Alex responded mechanically as he pulled another cigarette out of his pocket. The raccoon reached over and carefully removed it from his muzzle before he could light it.

"I don't think smoking and drinking your problems away will make the pain stop. Believe me from experience, it doesn't. The pain will always be there but you can cope without trying to destroy your organ's...I know I do."

Alex looked into the golden amber eye of the raccoon, who eyes met with the pleading, iced ones of the wolfs. Both drunken stairs trying to read the other mind with little luck.

The wolf moved his head in closer leaning off of the stool speaking quietly,

"So...how do you cope?"

Chet could smell the tequila on his hot breath ramming its way through his nostrils and burrowing deep in his brain. His insides clenched... he began to sweat slightly.

Chet swallowed hard with nervousness as the drunken canine seemed to enjoy the fluster he was giving him.

"Well...I left New York because I had an abusive boyfriend. I...I still think I love him to this day but...I cope by staying distracted. He still crosses into my mind at times and it hurts to think about, but I guess what i'm trying to say is that...I moved on. Even if I still have not 100 percent mentally moved on I have to keep trying to. It was for my own good and now I am back in control of my life, well...for the most part." Chet blushed thinking about how untrue that last statement was. Control was something he rarely had these days. He decided to change his approach to his half assed advice.

"Don't let him be in control of your life when he's not part of it anymore. Let your own body tell you what is good for you and move on. And..."

He gave a quick pause for a slurred breath.

"When you find what you want...and you'll know when you do, go for it. Don't let any old feelings hold you back because that is what leads to how you feel now."

Chet felt confident in the rest of his answer and his quickly hardening member decided to agree too. He was slowly realizing the hypocrisy in his statement. What he was wanting right now was sitting drunkly in front of him and yet he was still too afraid to go for him.

The wolf sat there taking in the words, squinting in the dim light, starting at the empty shot glass in his hand. Chet was sure he was listening because by the crinkling of his brow, the raccoon could tell the wolf was in deep thought. It was a look that said that something was wrong deep down inside.

Chet felt nervous again.

Suddenly, Alex leaned back and yawned in drunken exhaustion, expression stoic and tired. He stood up and made his way across the room over towards the coat rack in the corner where he had placed his coat long ago. He stumbled back over towards the bar counter before picking up his hat, his long smooth black tail gently swaying with the rest of his body.

"I think I should probably head out, it is very, very late and I don't want to keep you here all night..."

Alex swung around rather quickly before turning to walk away leaving Alex to take care of the mess. Chet felt like rocks fell into his stomach...he freaked out Alex and now he was running off without saying goodbye. He didn't know why but he felt tears begin to well up in his eyes but one made it's way down his cheek. Was it because he was lonely and still wanted the cute wolf's company? Was it because he might have just brought up painful memories in a person he only just met? Or did he really just-

The wolf suddenly stopped, froze, as if a lasso was wrapped around his legs keeping him in place. He turned around staring at the now silently crying raccoon standing pathetically in the center of the bar next to a pile of glasses, money and booze. The look in his eyes was something of a mystery. He couldn't place it but...Chet saw slight guilt and something else, something warmer. Alex stared at Chet for more than three minutes, Chester avoiding his gaze.

Just as Chet was about to turn away from the wolf and start cleaning up and letting him go on his way, Alex walked quietly over towards the raccoon and placed a soft kiss on the raccoon's cheek before looking him muzzle to muzzle. Their eyes locked like two beautifully laced colorful knots.

"You made me think about a lot in the past hour and a half that I have known you."

He place both paws on Chet's shoulders.

"And I think I might have just fallen in love with you..."

Chet didn't even think, he just let all his emotion do the driving, too drunk to think out the words he would say next.

He pressed his lips onto the canine's, locking muzzles for several seconds before pulling away slowly. The dogs eyes were wide.

"I think my heart is telling me that I want you right now..." He let a small smile spread across his face. The wolf smiled back.

"Me too..."

For once in his entire life, Chet didn't think about Dabbs or Brian or work as he pressed his lips and tongue into the willing canines mouth. Right now on this really early morning alone in a bar in a small shitty town in the middle of nowhere, Chet found something he thought was hurting him all along. Love and hope. He found out just how wrong that really was.

"Add Alex Lerger onto the love interest list of Chester Savoi." he thought to him self in the passion that soon followed.