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I watched the dragons split up and go their own ways. The wonderbolts paced them, presumably to verify their timely departure.

Jadis laughed off the loss of her dragons. She seemed to find it hilarious, actually. "You spent all that... to reduce my overwhelming force... to an overwhelming force! Quick! Ultima! Ultima!"

She ran through the sequence expecting the Quick spell to go off. But Celes' raised sword sucked in the magic, and the following pronouncements did not result in spells.

"Strike with the elements!" Nightmare Moon called out, but nothing happened.

She turned - Twilight Sparkle was still panting from overexertion, and the others not much better. "It's a little soon, your majesty." I marvelled that she used the term of respect so fluidly.

Adjusting to this situation, she ordered the others, "Attack!" Then, back to Twilight Sparkle, "Don't try again until I say."

Jadis caught those blasts that would have struck her on her shield. She seemed to just sit there and take it - we couldn't see what she was up to. I glanced at Celes - she had her sword raised again, and was focused on it.

Nightmare Moon barked, "Form a wingtip circle!"

As the guard-unicorns kept up their attack and Nightmare Moon observed carefully, the other unicorn pegasi trotted into a circle, touched wingtips. Even the pink one who'd held the shield dragged herself to her feet and joined in. They focused in for a more powerful blast.

A ball formed in the center - a swirl of plants, fur, lightning, glowing jagged shapes, metal, water, and what looked like oscilloscope lines. This ball grew to fill the circle. One side bulged, then out shot a septuple helix, one of each type. Instead of meeting Jadis' shield, it curled around.

In a second, the ball flowed up the helix, surrounded her, and shrank to nothing. It left no sign of Jadis.

Before I could get my hopes up, Nightmare Moon shouted, "Prepare again! She escaped at the last moment, somehow."

Momentarily, Jadis reappeared. Under her hands floated two balls. In the right hand ball floated princess Celestia; in the left, several imps; all were unconscious. They floated down toward the ground gradually, forty paces off on the other end of the hill. The ball around the imps disappeared, leaving them sprawled awkwardly across the grass.

Jadis didn't even need to state the threat, instead examining the reactions.

Nightmare Moon shouted, "Jadis. You have lost. Turn them over, and we'll let you leave. Any further harm, and you will die."

Suddenly, the wingtip circle disappeared. There was no visible sign of what had happened to them.

As we were trying to absorb this, Jadis once more laughed - this time, gloating. "You were saying? They've been sent to a horrid place that drains your strength. Now it's just you, the traitor, not even a handful of guards, and..."

One of the royal guards was knocked into the other, and both slammed into the third, and then all three were crushed into the ground. Nightmare Moon reflexively released a jolt of black lightning at the point of collision. There was a thump, and a stunned Macidexia gradually lost invisibility as she glided down and skidded to a halt. Twilight Sparkle rushed to the guards' side, followed by her friends. "Cure! Please? Oh shoot - Celes..." She looked to the general with her magic-sucking sword, pained.

Jadis continued, "A good trade for me. Failure yet again, false Nightmare Moon. You ceded that name when you ran from me - after I'd already earned it from you. Why do you cling to it? Your unwillingness to see when you've lost is almost admirable. Your followers are down or irrelevant, and the traitor is merely blocking the most extreme of my powers - powers I didn't have when I defeated you the first time, unarmed."

"I kept the name to control the dragons. Now that they are gone - yes, let this charade end. I am Luna."

Twilight Sparkle stepped up alongside and met Jadis' eyes. "And she's not entirely alone." As she said this, the other five stepped up alongside.

Luna said, "Are you recovered sufficiently to use the elements, or to teleport rapidly?"

After a moment's thought, Twilight replied, "Not yet."

Jadis, seeing that delay would not serve her, drew her sword and charged.

Luna only had time to command them, "Hang back!"

I'm sure the battle as Luna attempted to fend off Jadis was very impressive, but I can't attest to it because I realized there were two things I could contribute. First, I tapped Rarity on her pack as she retreated as ordered (fortunately she wasn't running, or I wouldn't have been able to reach her). I said, "Prisoners. Cape."

"Right!" She pulled out the cape and passed it to Rainbow Dash, who zoomed off to restore the imps to their proper forms. Then, I rushed to Celes and whispered, "Can I have Terra?"

Without diverting her eyes, she muttered, "Just don't cast except right after I've absorbed something. You can summon, though." I untied the gem's hastily mended necklace from around her neck. The warmth filled me once more. Since I had the economizer, I could cast any of the spells. The most relevant seemed to me to be Ultima, but since it was an area effect spell, I wasn't too sure about using it on Jadis while she was so close to Luna - even if I was given the opening by Jadis attempting to cast again. With the life spells, at least I'd be able to do something if the worst came up. The description of what summoning Terra would do was simply a question mark - the only completely unhelpful description.

Then I saw that Macidexia was stirring. She was no longer tended, as the battle had passed too close, and the other ponies had focused on getting the guards out of the way while retreating. I realized that this was the older Macidexia. We could not afford to have her up and about, in either version - but as the older one, she no longer had fate protection. Recalling Celes' warning, I summoned Terra.

The feeling of summoning was far more intense than simply directly perceiving the options. Time slowed again. It was like I was reaching in and helping Terra out of the gem, with my mind. The words "The Unanswered Question" occurred to me as I called out Terra's name. A glowing girl appeared in front of Macidexia, and stared at her. Their eyes locked. A whisper that could have carried a mile escaped her lips. "Who am I? What do I want? What do I have worth living for?"

Macidexia blubbered for a moment. "You're Terra?"

Terra, apparently dissatisfied with the answer, drew back and smacked Macidexia so hard it rolled her over. Without waiting for her to stop rolling, Terra shot a broad hole through her body with a glowing red beam from her eyes. But after a moment, Terra laid a hand across her, healing the wounds she'd just created. Then she vanished - leaving Macidexia, confused, getting to her feet.

The battle paused, everyone staring at the spectacle. Jadis once again demonstrated variety in her laughter, this time showcasing incredulity. "What... overpowered and yet completely useless! Macidexia, please fetch Terra from that worm before he hurts someone." Macidexia was still shocked, but momentarily set into motion. I had already taken off running.

Macidexia was catching up. She couldn't see just what I was doing, so I pulled Ramuh out of my camera bag, stuffed in Terra, and threw Ramuh back towards Celes. Macidexia, of course, intercepted it with a bit of horn-magic. I wished I'd kept Ratatosk too - Ramuh looked too useful.

I checked in on how things were doing: the imped prisoners were, apparently, two elephants - one adult and one child - and an old lady. These were not exactly the reinforcements we'd been hoping for, and none of them seemed inclined to help in any way. Macidexia was trundling up the hill with 'Terra' (actually Ramuh) levitated before her...

... and Jadis had Luna at swordpoint.

Twilight Sparkle whispered, "Now?"

Luna said, "No." even as the sword-tip stroked a row of fine scars along her neck.

I interrupted: "Jadis, do you feel as your sister did in her last moments?" That got her attention, though she tried not to show it. I continued, "If you slay them, I will have no reason not to do to you what you did to her." Wishing to avoid picking up dangerously erroneous beliefs, I very very quietly - inside my mouth - finished that thought, 'aside from being unable to do so.'

"Worm, you know nothing of magic. I have my own fountain of life. No deplorable word can touch me. And that's imagining you could even use one."

As she spoke, I qualified sub-vocally, 'Two unrelated statements follow.', then replied out loud, "There are other words of power. Can you survive a fireball hotter than the sun, large enough to destroy a mid-sized city?"

"Ridiculous. Macidexia said you were a liar."

"Then she also told you she's enchanted me so I cannot lie in her presence. Ask her about thermonuclear war."

Macidexia gulped. "They do have such powers, your majesty."

Jadis did not spare me a glance, still focused on Luna. "He hasn't a drop of magical blood!"

Macidexia countered, "Very few of them do. And yet, they do have these other powers."

Jadis' laugh bore contempt like dirty laundry. "You are too credulous."

I declared, as sternly as I could manage, "Zeeky."

Jadis went on, "Macidexia, cast something."

"Boogy."

There was a crack and Celestia's bubble shattered. "Stop!" Celestia commanded. "You must not!" Everyone was startled - even Jadis nearly took her sword away from Luna's neck. Celestia looked terrible, but she wasn't sneezing anymore.

I paused in my recitation. "Princess, if she wins, eventually, Equestria will be as Charn, her homeland - completely dead. Rocks and mud and sand. And eventually, in the wood between the worlds, it will darken, shrivel, and dry. Utter destruction. She did this to her own people. Intentionally. Better that we few die here than all of Equestria."

Jadis drawled, "Oh, 'princess', you believed Macidexia - you'll believe anyone." Macidexia hardly noticed the insult as she stared in horror at me. I realized first that I hadn't had any subvocal qualifications, and second that I had spoken the literal truth. And, judging from the look, Macidexia knew I had.

Celestia shook her head at Jadis, but turned to me. Very gravely, she warned me, "I know this phrase. If you complete it, Equestria will be as Qrrbrbirlbel."

My brain exploded. Not literally, but I was ready to faint. Was the Demented Cartoon Movie, like the Principia Discordia, more true than I thought?

Jadis laughed, piqued. "A coward! I knew it!"

"On the contrary: my sister and I would take a thousand years to regain corporeal form, but we would."

"As would I. Only by then, the land would be under the control of the Empire. You could only destroy a light scouting force by applying your full strength." She shook her head. "Macidexia, cast something to cancel with the runic blade."

Macidexia asked, "And what then? You won't be in a position to revive me - no one will."

"It's a bluff!"

"You don't know everything!"

"Cast a spell or I will retreat and leave you to face them alone. And if you follow, I'll cut you down myself!"

Macidexia snarled, "Very well: Bolt of Judgement!"

Ramuh appeared and raised his staff. Luna braced herself, but Ramuh's lightning was drawn by the spires 'Maximilian' had erected, and then redirected onto Jadis.

The lightly fried empress recovered in a moment, but by that point, Luna was a mist. Jadis turned and tracked the mist to avoid giving Luna any opportunities. "Idiot!"

"You said it'd be cancelled!"

Jadis continued to turn, tracking Luna's circling mist. "That's not a spell! Imbecile! Now we're back to a real fight! If she ever comes out of hiding, that is. Didn't you notice them summoning Terra?"

"It blocks their spells too?"

The gang fidgeted; Celestia held a hoof to her lips. The gang reluctantly stood back and let things progress.

Jadis went on, more bitingly, "And why didn't you cast when you were invisible?

Macidexia ranted, "How am I supposed to know? You lent me magicite, an economizer, and a... handful of tinctures... and had me kill a gagged clown over and over again. That's everything you ever 'taught' me. No theory. You didn't even mention this magic cancellation, let alone that it can only cancel one spell at once, or can't block summoning, or comes from holding a runic blade. And I still don't see any blades with runes on."

Jadis explained with exaggerated false patience, "I gave you what you demanded. If you try to renege, Life won't help you, even if you could find someone to cast it on you."

Macidexia spoke with the momentum of an iceberg. "I'm just saying, I'm not an idiot."

Exasperated, Jadis shrieked, "Then cast something!"

Slight pause. "Does it need to be reflectable?"

"No! Just... cast Ultima on them, in case it goes through! This will work!"

"I... don't have Ultima. Will Bio work?"

I started over, with no intention of finishing: "Zeeky."

"Shut up!" shrieked Jadis. Back to Macidexia, she continued, "I can't even retreat safely since you filled the place with demigods! Cast a spell, or go over and hit her until she reacts..."

I held off on 'boogy' since I didn't want my bluff called - and whether or not 'zeeky boogy doog' worked or not, it was a bluff. If Celestia thought it was unacceptable, that was good enough for me.

Jadis finished, lamely, "... and now she's mounted?"

I turned and found that Celes was riding Celestia. It looked wrong. So very wrong. But less wrong than Celes being stuck in place and vulnerable.

Jadis continued, "When did you let that happen?"

"Me? You're the one with this Quick-Ultima-Ultima spell you could have slipped in!"

"What's wrong with you, slave? Did Terra do something to you? Did her spirit rub off on you?"

Macidexia seized on the explanation: "Yes, I'm sure that was it! A more complicated version of muddle! One Remedy and I'll be all better!"

"Stop it!"

Macidexia, terrified, backed away. "Empress? Fury destroys what you care about most deeply - Fury..."

"Don't echo her lessons back to me!" Jadis turned to Macidexia, and lunged.

"Now." commanded Luna even before she finished reforming.

The elements blazed. Jadis seemed to hang in air, sword half swung in a decapitation strike. A rainbow cone swirled up from the elements, wove together, and radiated over her. An unearthly scream sounded. Her greaves, helmet, and gauntlets slowly tumbled away, ashes flying from their insides. The scream continued, though reduced.

The armor collapsed straight down, puffing out fine ashes. The magic continued, focused into the ash cloud. Jadis finally stopped for a breath, and when she resumed her cry it was a broken bawl.

The ashes fell, revealing an infant so young her umbilical cord hadn't fallen off yet. She floated down on top of the ash pile, and the magic dissipated.

---

James looked up. "Waiit. That's not FIFO, is it?"

"The threat of Nightmare Moon was implied first, and she was taken down and ceased to be a threat first. We met Macidexia next, and she turned next. Then Discord became an issue, and ... oh crap. I screwed that up in editing."

A moment passed. "Well, I'm not rewriting the chapter."

"Fine, but you're going to have to fulfil one of the other conditions. You've already excluded everything but... a Richard Scarry crossover - and now it's too late for a major one the condition required - or that Celestia/Celeste/Celes lesbian encounter you were totally hinting at."

"That was a red herring."

"And I believe you still haven't actually had sex with a pony. Dreams and phantasms don't count."

"Oh fine, have a dumb-ass epilogue."

"Nope. Gotta be a very serious fic through and through."

I facehoofed. That was going to be the hardest chapter yet.