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"I can't do this. I.... I can't. I just.....no...."

My mind was in knots. Every time I tried to answer this question, doubts kept creeping into my head. Am I ready to let Thel go? Will he be able to accept his best friend and ex-lover has moved on? We were each other's first, of course he's going to be upset! I don't know if I can let go...

My hands went back and forth from covering my eyes to rubbing the grooves of bone on my head, my mind in hysterics as my tears soaked my face. The blood rushing to my cheeks changed my normally gray face to a bright pink.

"Why can't I tell him? Why can't I just say it?" I mouthed out.

"It's because you're scared."

I looked over to see Vincent at the room's entrance, concern written across his entire body. He sat down next to me, and spoke before I could even constitute a reply. My tears continued to flow, though my eyes were wide open, staring at him in surprise.

"Don't be afraid to let go," he said, patting me on the shoulder as he sat down.

"H-how did you know abou..."

"Oh, don't think I'm just going upstairs and calling it a night once we're done!" Vincent quickly replied, pulling my arm as he stood up, leading me out the door. "Come on, I've got something to show you."

I was nervous, to say the least. I didn't want anybody to see me like this, especially my best friend. I could only muster a soft, shaking, "Uuuh," my tears slowing down but not stopping.

"It's okay, everybody's still eating. I haven't told a soul," he patted me with his other hand, doing his best to reassure me. I still wasn't sure what to think, or if I even could trust him, but I guess my state of mind kept that judgment at bay.

"Okay."

With that, he led me upstairs to his quarters. Man, was it big up here. He had an absolutely massive bedroom, with a king sized bed, stacks upon stacks of records and CD's, and a computer with three monitors. The latter was what he dragged me to, pulling a foldable chair from under his bed to let me sit on.

"Okay, Garrett. Every morning and night, I run security checks. One to make sure the progress isn't getting leaked unless we want to, and one to make sure all that is in this studio isn't stolen by my clients."

Vincent scrolled to a security video program on the screen, clicking a few times, and pulling up several video feeds. Each one had a good view of each room: The living room, the studio and recording rooms, the kitchen, the porch, and...

My jaw dropped. He had feed into the bedrooms, each one clear as day. He must've seen Travis and I last night! My mind couldn't decide whether to be shocked or angry, but thankfully I was able to choose the former.

"Wait, so you were spying on us? That's so wrong, dude! Why would you even think of doi..."

A finger was placed to my lips as he shushed me, without taking his eyes off the screen.

"Relax, it's not as though I keep these on constantly. It's mostly for routine checks; that way I could make sure when I wake up that I know my tens of thousands of dollars that I put into this studio is still there in the morning!" Vincent stated, a slight grin on his face. He then opened up a single feed, one of the room Travis and I shared.

Dammit, he knew.

"Believe me," he continued. His face shrunk away the grin, replacing it with a look of concern and sympathy I hadn't seen before. "Love is a ridiculous thing to try and figure out. It's full of twists and turns that will make you go insane before you could try and rationalize. Sometimes your heart is what's right instead of your head, and when that moment comes, you need to accept that fact."

I looked down, shaking my head, my tears now having dried. He was able to calm me down, but I still was in great doubt.

"I don't think... I'm not ready," I said. At least, that's how I'd felt. I really don't know if I'm ready to do this.

"You're a good person, Garrett. Your band is very lucky to have you as a friend and as a musician. If you want to make Thel truly happy, then let it go. At this point, he needs a best friend more than anything. Believe me, I've talked with him already."

At that, I looked back up to him, my eyes wide. He already spoke to Thelen? Did they talk about me? Did he tell him about Travis and I? My mind started racing again, but he spoke again before I got myself too worked up.

"It's okay, I didn't tell him about you two. But he's happy to have let go, and he said that Max has made him happier than he could have ever hoped. That being said, he's even happier that you were able to stick with him all this time, even when he was with Max.

"He's let go, but he doesn't want to let go of you, and frankly, you don't need to. Be his best friend, and show your love for him is still there by being there for him as his friend. He'll be happy that you and Travis got together, because you're his best friend, and he wants to see you let go too."

"Let go." I repeated it to myself before looking back at him. He was right, it's not fair to him to do this, he's my best friend, and that's what I should be. I love him, but as my friend, not my lover. Travis is my lover now.

"Now get down there and stop Travis," Vincent said reassuringly, bringing me into a quick hug. His touch was calm and inviting, which helped me relax even more. "They're finishing dinner, and I know he's going to tell them unless you do it first."

"Okay. Thank you, Vincent. Thank you for everything." I said. It was all I could think to say, he technically just gave me a full mental rebalancing and kept me from doing something ridiculously stupid. Hell, I owed him at LEAST a rare record.

"It's what I'm here for, Garrett. Now, get down there!" he barked at me playfully, pushing me more out of his quarters.

"Okay, okay! I'll see ya tomorrow morning." I replied.

"Bring your talent with you!"

"No promises."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I opened the porch door just in time to stop Travis, who looked to me with surprise. I saw Thelen and Max cuddling on a chair, both looking at me with worry. Thel's face was all I needed to assure myself that this needed doing. I didn't want to see him upset. I could never deal with it, even when we were kids.

"I think I should be the one to explain," I softly said to them.

"Wait, what's going on?" Max said, getting up from Thelen's lap. "Are you guys sure everything's okay?"

"Yeah," I stated, walking towards the still sitting whale. "At least, it will be."

I stopped in front of Thel and sat down in the nearby chair, and that's when the verbal flood rushed out

of my mouth and conscience.

"Thel. I love you. I've always loved you. You know that, and we both agreed to just be friends. We weren't meant to be mates, and it's taken me some time to realize that. But I don't want to lose you, and until just recently, I was in fear of thinking we'd let each other go and grow apart."

His jaw was wide open, as was Max's and Travis'. They were understandably shocked; I don't make speeches like this without being either angry or drunk, and I sure wasn't the latter.

"But I now know that we aren't letting each other go. We're merely finding our place with each other. We're best friends, and I can now finally accept that. I still love you, but because you are family to me in a different way. I'll always be here for you. And I hope you can do the same for me."

I looked down, afraid to see the look on my first love's face. I was a bit ashamed at what I'd said, mostly because I hadn't said anything like that before. It was then I felt smooth skin envelope me in a tight hug, Thelen's form wrapping around me as I heard sobs that didn't belong to me.

He was crying.

"Thank you, Garrett. I'll always be here for you too."

He leaned back from the hug, the tears still fresh on his black cheeks. I couldn't help but smile.

"Always," we stated at the same time, rather surprisingly.

*sniffle*

We looked back to see both the gator and dragon holding back tears at the site, Travis' holding a hand to his mouth to keep calm. Thelen and I started laughing at the sight; it was hilarious seeing them try to hold it back. Eventually, they both calmed down and laughed with us. It was then I was able to explain about Travis and I. Max took his place with Thelen on the chair once again, while Travis and I leaned up against the railing on the porch.

"After our house show a month back, you know how Travis stayed the night?"

Both Thelen and Max nodded their heads, eager to hear just what happened.

"Well, he and I started talking, and we found out we actually had a lot in common. Then, one thing led to another, and now we're together."

"OH, that was you two I heard last night!" Max blurted out. I could feel my cheeks start to sizzle from the blush, but my dragon wrapped his arm around me and cheerily replied.

"Hehe, yeah. Sorry about that, but we couldn't help it. Hope we weren't too loud."

I hugged Travis back, thankful for his help in the matter.

"It's all good, we only caught the tail-end of it. Hell, I barely even noticed it, honestly."

Thelen replied after Max, "Yeah, we were pretty exhausted. I didn't even notice a thing!"

We all shared a laugh at that, Travis and I hugging each other through it all. It felt like a huge weight was off my shoulders, and I could finally be happy again. The world seemed to spin again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I relaxed and sat back, my fingers leaving the strings of Vincent's 5-string bass. Three songs down, three to go, and we weren't even through two hours of time yet. That could leave the rest of the day for relaxation and time to spend with my love, Travis. Yesterday was officially behind us, and it felt fantastic to finally be happy with the world around me.

Everything felt better than normal when I was playing as well, and I guess it showed with my performance. I listened through the last song we recorded, the ever-so-appropriately titled "Love", and I grinned at Vincent, who had a smile wider than I'd ever seen before. He was genuinely impressed with it.

"Okay, let's get the show on the road. We can't let this genius fizzle out gawking over itself. Next up, Sorrow!" Vincent shouted, changing some settings around on the computer and readjusting. This song had a decent amount of effects to throw in with the bass, and it was going to take several takes, but it didn't matter. The beautiful thing about being a musician, at least for me, is the joy of making it. And this was probably the best day of my life for that reason.

"Alright, the settings for the first part are in order, you ready?" he said, looking to me once more before his gaze met the computer and the recording program.

"Yeah, I'm good, start it."

I could hear the click track metronome start, and my gray fingers began their journey across the strings, strumming and bending with as much precision as my body and heart could give. I felt right while playing these songs, and I hope that the world could recognize it when they heard it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~