FSE

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I awoke the next morning with Tess snuggling up under my arm. I took a deep breath and held it for a few seconds. When I released it, Tess stirred. A few more seconds later and she rolled over to face me. We sat there for a moment or two before she kissed me and said "good morning." Then she hopped out of bed and left the room.

I sat up and stretched, now pretty much completely engrossed in Hell's hullabaloo. It was really becoming quite the place.

I went downstairs and found Ms. Byron holding Tess upside down, peeling off sections of her but with a strange looking potato peeler. When I asked what they were doing, Tess exclaimed "We're makin' ass bacon!"

I asked what that was like, and Ms. Byron simply said I'd see. When she was all finished, Tess reformed her misshapen butt and sat down. We each got a plate full of fried skunk butt and dug in. I found that it indeed tasted a lot like bacon, though with Tess' signature cinnamon and chocolate over tones. I asked Ms. Byron where she'd picked up the recipe and she answered simply.

"I got it from this guy in town that runs a little eatery. Not many people go there, but that's because he likes it that way. He prefers to only serve a handful of customers a day since he's the only one working there." she took another bite of bacon and continued" The place is appropriately called 'Be Prepared', because that's pretty much what happens. You go in there, he looks you up and down for a minute or two, appraising you for how he thinks you'll taste. Then he just starts ordering you around and he cooks you up in the best way he can. He knows recipes for all different kinds of furs, so it's never the same meal twice, unless that's what you want. He likes to work with an audience, though generally a small one so he can be assured he'll be working in silence. Well, silence other than himself. He tends to talk a lot while he works, you see. But it's a great place to go if you're in the mood for a professionally cooked meal made of yourself, or a friend even. He's got a lot of customers who visit him regularly, but we only pop in every now and then."

"Hey mom," Tess was thinking again, "you think we could take Will over there for a meal this afternoon?" Tess was finishing a glass of OJ now that her plate was empty.

"I don't see why not," Ms. Byron said, "It's been a while since I've had a really good meal of more than my tits, so we might as well. And you've never been cooked or even cut up and prepared yet, have you Will?

I shook my head, mouth full of tasty Tess.

"Then that settles it. We'll stop over there this afternoon for a bite to eat of ourselves and each other!"

Tess and I both cheered and quickly put our dishes away. It was school time again, so me and Tess both bounded to that empty square where the door was supposed to be and she made her floral portal so we could pop off to school for the day...

~

We both sat down in our seats as Ms. Nessy began her lesson for the day.

"So, how are we all? Have a good morning did we?" Everyone nodded. "Good, because today's going to be a very interesting lesson. Since we cover vore yesterday, it's only natural to follow that with what happens after you eat something." She waited a second for it to sink in for the class, most of which gasped and cheered. Some even started touching themselves. "Yes, I'm talking about scat.

"Now, most furs when they're alive never get to enjoy scat. Mainly because they only see it as being disgusting and gross, which it is, arguably. But even in their imaginations that idea sticks to poo like, well... you know. It's much different here with the freedom we have being in Hell and all. See, though there are those who enjoy playing with regular poo and getting messy and covered in the stinky stuff, most of us are turned off by the smell and taste. Hell's power allows us to change what comes out of us into something a bit more... appealing. Like chocolate, or peanut butter, or whatever you want it to be! You could shit skittles if you wanted to!"

Everyone giggled at that.

"The point it, it doesn't have to be crap if you don't want it to be. If you'd rather it be something else, then by all means. Hell, even where it comes from is changeable! Out the butt, the mouth, the nose, the ear, anywhere! You could even go so far as to grow that mother of all expletives: shitting dick nipples." Lots of laughter on that one. "Really, it's up to you. And I'm here to show you how it's done.

"Now, I'm going to need a volunteer. Since I've not eaten since yesterday and I've already expelled that waste, I'm going to need a good meal to share with the class. Preferably someone nice and big, so there'll be plenty to go around... ah, Ricky!"

She pointed to what had to be the largest kid in the class. He wasn't really fat, per se. He was just really thick looking. I guess it helped that he was a rhino. He was about my height, but he had to easily weigh twice as much. As he got up, he lumbered more than anything. He looked like he could beat the tar out of a non-ev bear, and I wouldn't doubt it one bit if he told me he did. But he also had that air about him that said he wouldn't want to fight a bear, even if he could. He was definitely the gentle giant type, and the fact that he was smiling as much as he was really helped that. Oh, and the pink flower in his one ear. That could have been the biggest tip off.

He wore a white long sleeve shirt with a green vest, along with light brown dress pants and glasses. If I were to judge him purely by his clothing choice, I'd think he was a stuck up brat, but again, he carried himself with far too much outward respect to be stuck up. His horn stood proudly on his long face, but it was never used unless his partner asked for it, and there was always a safe word in case something didn't feel right for one of them.

He seemed to be popular as most of the classmates he passed gave him pats in various areas. One kid even gave him a quick shot to the balls for good luck. Rick thanked him with a shot of his own and they laughed.

When he reached the front, he respectfully bowed to Ms. Nessy. She bowed back in politeness of course. Then, as if by total luck (or acute knowledge of each other), Rick was gone. He'd lifted his head at just the right angle and Ms. Nessy had lifted the skirt on her uniform and sat on him, swallowing him completely with her ass. It took all of about two seconds, which showed just how impressive Ms. Nessy's bowel control was. She stood up again and was sporting a big gray ponch of a belly, presumably filled with Rick. She shivered a bit before commenting.

"I broke every bone from my bottom ribs to my knees doing that. I'm getting much better at this. Last time I only broke my hips." The class giggled as she fixed herself up.

Tess leaned in to explain things, as I was duly confused.

"Rick almost always gets picked for scat day. Any time we do anything where Ms. Nessy's gonna need to unload a lot of crap, like baking days or on the days she just randomly starts throwing shit everywhere. One time she only managed to get half of him in before she accidentally fell over and tore Rick in half. His bottom half had fallen to its knees, presumably out of laughter since his top half was vibrating wildly inside Ms. Nessy. We all pissed ourselves laughing at it, it was HILARIOUS!"

I giggled at the story, only half paying attention to Ms. Nessy. She was just describing how Rick was sloshing around and rubbing his horn everywhere. Two minutes later, he was completely digested.

"Now," she began, "I would like another volunteer to come and taste test my wares. I'll produce whatever they want and from where ever they want, as long as they eat it. If they don't they will be punished by confiscation of their genitals for the rest of the day, and will have to give their treat to someone else to finish." No doubt this choice was going to be a hard one for a lot of us. I myself was wondering which fate I'd rather have.

"Once the first person has confirmed that my poop is not fatal, I would like the rest of you to line up neatly and wait for your turns. Again, I'll give anything from anywhere, and the same rules apply. So, who wants first go?"

Everyone's hands (including my own and Tess') shot up immediately. Mainly, I just wanted to see if she was telling the truth. That, and I was dying for a Snickers bar.

"Ah, William! It's good to see you volunteering so readily," she gestured to me with her hand, "Come on up and pick a dish. Let's all give him a round of applause for this brave act!" it sounded somewhat mocking to me, but I knew it was just for support. The class was clapping quite enthusiastically, and it was helping me feel more confident about this, so it was pretty helpful. I figured most folks wouldn't want to do anything along these lines for a at least a month or so, considering how weird stuff was here.

When I got to the front, she knelt down and looked me in the eyes.

"I

m very proud of you, Will. Volunteering on the second day isn't very common, though it's definitely not unheard of. It's good to see you're accepting all this so quickly. Maybe tomorrow we'll do something a bit weirder, like limb trading or something to celebrate. You'd love it, I'm sure. Having four arms or legs, or a few vaginas and a penis is great! But for now, let's just get you choosing what you're wanting and where from."

She stood back up and I thought for a second. I looked her up and down and she posed, getting a few giggles and a couple "ooh"s from the class. It was when she swished her trunk a bit that did it for me.

"How about... a Snickers bar. Through your nose." She blinked a couple of times in surprise, apparently not expecting this.

"Well alrighty then. One Snickers bar, King Size, coming right up!" She flexed her trunk a bit and then curved it so it bent upwards before making a u-turn for her desk. It made me think of one of those decorative fountains. Then I started thinking to myself about why I never saw any elephant fountains. They'd be very pretty...

Ms. Nessy closed her eyes and grunted a bit, and a small bulge could be seen at the base of her neck. She made a couple of odd noises as it passed the opening of her esophagus and entered the back of her throat. Her eyes rolled back a bit and her trunk recoiled as if it were a snake preparing to strike. She made a horking noise and shut one eye really tight. The class was apparently getting a kick out of this as most of them were slapping their desks laughing. Ms. Nessy's trunk started to quiver and the bulge worked its way along its length. Finally, the end of it peeked out and she exhaled through her mouth, breathing deeply a few times. A bit of muscle work, and it slipped from her nasal grip.

I looked at the thing, and though it did look a little worse for wear from all the bending and traveling through her warm insides, it was definitely a Snickers bar. It had the tell tale tire tread design on the bottom, and though it was a bit smooshed, its general shape was still evident. I picked it and sniffed it first, noting that it did have an odd smell to it. I shrugged and took a bite, immediately knowing I had nothing to worry about. This was definitely a candy bar.

"This is awesome!" I said allowed, and half the class came. Apparently watching Ms. Nessy struggle to technically poop through her nose was weird enough to turn most of them on. Ms. Nessy smiled and welcomed everyone up for a treat.

As everyone came up, I dropped to the back of the line where Tess was waiting. She was smiling when she asked me how it was.

"Oh it was pretty cool." I said. "But I'm definitely getting one from her ass if I get another turn. The nose was more or less just a test to see if she could do it, and I wasn't quite sure I was ready to eat something that came out of someone's butt, even if it WAS Ms. Nessy's."

Tess got all flirty again and started drawing lines on my shoulder with finger as her tail wrapped around us and wiggled in front of my face.

"What if it were MY butt, hunh? You seem to like everything else that comes out of there, oh silly Willy."

I blushed deeply as I stuttered out a "Well, th-th-that's d-d-d-different." response.

The day carried on like that, kids eating whatever they could that came out of Ms. Nessy. She over acted on some occasions, if only for the laughs. A few notable ones were this one kid who wanted real crap, but he wanted her to sneeze it all over him. She laughed before faking a big ol' honkin' blow that she made sure warned everyone around him to move out of the way. Then with an exaggerated trumpet of a blast, the kid was covered in crap. Ms. Nessy giggle and wiped her long nose as the started giggling and pawing off. Another guy asked for oatmeal from her eye socket, so she pried out her eye and deposited the stuff on his palm. A girl requested to nurse on one of Ms. Nessy's breasts as it poured warm chocolate milk into her mouth, which Ms. Nessy gladly agreed to. Over all it was a pretty fun day.

At the end of the day, me and Tess left the school and went out to the school grounds where everyone was congregating. While she was making her portal, I saw a large, maybe thirty something raccoon fellow who was completely naked, save for a green bowler hat with a long stemmed flower in it and a matching purse. His face seemed to droop a bit, but almost as if it was a new thing for him, like he was currently out of character. Then I saw a little squirrel girl (also naked) skipping up to him. As she did though, a stick of dynamite fell from the man's purse and spontaneously lit itself. The squirrel noticed it and picked it up.

"You dropped this, Aunt Sla-" Ka-BLAM! All of the girl's arm and a good chunk of her chest exploded with the dynamite! She looked at herself and exclaimed "Speeeew!"

The man with the purse left heartily. "Now THAT'S comed-ACK!!" He was racked with coughs and was soon pounding on his chest. Once the spell was over he sigh, "Meh, they get the point. Cameo's over. I'm gonna go home and grab my knife set. Come on Lily."

The little girl skipped after the man as she regrew her arm. "Okay Aunt Slappophile!"

The man looked at the little squirrel with a very flat looking face. "I don't get paid enough for this."

I raised an eyebrow, having seen an odd scene for the second day in a row. I wondered how often these things happened here...

~

We came bursting through the portal, ecstatic about both what had happened today, and what was going to happen. Tess decided to just keep her uniform on, and Ms. Byron was already ready with her tight T-shirt and a nice, short short SHORT skirt that her tail held up at the back, rather invitingly. We let her guide the way through her own portal (a big pink, heart shaped one) so I could get a good view of it. Neither of them minded at all, in fact they both thought it was cute since I was really getting my first good look at a full grown woman's ass. It had me harder than a red wood and almost as tall. Tess flicked my stiffy and giggled as we left the house for dinner.

~

We walked into a nice little place that had quite an interesting air about it. There were only three tables altogether, set with four chairs a piece, but it was what they were all facing that really stole the show, so to speak.

It was a stage with a huge island not unlike Ms. Byron's sitting smack dab in the middle of it. Behind it was rows and rows of cupboards, a humongous fridge, a sink that could double as a bathtub for two, and an array of pots and pans that could easily be used as tobogganing equipment. Tess informed me quickly that the island rotated 360 degrees so the cook (a guy named Robert) could spin it and reveal his impressive stove. I noticed now that the island did in fact have a bunch of burners on it, but I guess I'd dismissed them as being just like Ms. Byron's were.

Other than the well lit stage and softly lit eating tables, the carpets were navy blue, and the walls were a more regular, but toned down hue of purple. The table had light colored table cloths, and the cutlery was all set out.

"GOOOOOOD AFTERNOON!" We all were startled by the sudden appearance of a tall raccoon fellow with round rimmed glasses and a snow white apron as he slid in from stage right, seemingly out of no where. He was brandishing a couple of impressive carving knives that could easily cleave a person's arm right off. He spun the around in a way that made me wonder how he hadn't severed a few limb of his own and holstered them in a couple of plastic knife holders (which looked a bit oddly shaped for the blades he put in them) attached to the belt on his apron. "And what'll you all be having for dinner?"

"Hey Rob!" Ms. Byron waved and the raccoon clapped his hands together smiling.

"Ah Samantha! It's been too long!" He hopped down off the stage and came over for a hug. It was easier to see now that he was wearing a nice shirt and pants behind the apron. Specifically, a light blue button up long sleeved shirt he'd rolled the sleeves back to his elbows on, and a dark pair of trousers. He wore no shoes, but I didn't think his feet would fit comfortably in them anyway. His tail was big a bushy like mine, but it had more rings on it.

When he finished his hug, he stole a good look at Ms. Byron's rack and ended up spying me in the process. He furrowed his brow and squatted down in front of me quizzically.

"I wasn't aware you had a son, Sam." He seemed to be thinking really hard about something.

"Oh, he isn't mine," she informed him, "he just died yesterday and I sort of a adopted him. His name's Will."

"I see, I see..." he gave me one more good hard look before dismissing the thought and standing up. "So, will you be wanting to be cooked this afternoon to feed the kids, or were you thinking of something else?"

"Well, we really came here so Will could get a taste of being a meal," ms. Byron said, "I was thinking of maybe having some of myself or Tess here, but we agreed on the way in that we'd rather just have some of Will. He agreed to it, so everything's good."

Robert looked down at me and thought for a second. "Cook him up, eh?" He thought for a while more before snapping his fingers. "You ladies in the mood for pizza?"

Tess gasped and clapped, "I LOVE pizza! And we haven't had that in like... forever!!!"

"yeah, I could definitely go for a could slice of pie." Ms. Byron agreed. "Tess's right, it's been far to long since we had pizza."

The raccoon clapped his hands together and said "Good, good!" he then looked back to me and asked me if I was okay with that.

"Sure," I said, "I've always wanted to be a topping on a pizza."

"Oh no my dear boy!" Robert corrected, "You're going to BE the pizza! Cheese, crust, sauce and all!"

"But how?" I asked.

"It's a little secret I found out not too long ago, changing cubs into different things." He winked at me. "Trust me, you're gonna love this."

~

The girls sat down as Robert hefted me up onto his rotating island. He flicked on a few things before pulling out a large, flat pan.

"Today I'll be making one of my favorite and simplest dishes, result wise. I've often found that we raccoons make the best pizza, since we seem to have this strange condition where different parts of our body taste differently. All one has to do to unlock these flavors properly is know how to influence them. What I'm going to do is tell you what to make certain parts of yourself, and I'll do the rest, okay?"

I nodded and smiled, tail wagging.

"Oh, that reminds me." Robert deftly whipped one of his knives out (the blade somehow significantly smaller) and removed my tail swiftly. He then did the same to his own and hung them up on a coat rack to his left after sheathing his knife again. "Tails are great, but they get in the way of a good meal.

"So," he said, "for starters, I'll need the dough. Again, I've found that most raccoons, especially cute little young ones, tend to have pudgy little stomachs. This helps with doughy texture and flavor needed for a proper crust. All I need you to do, William, is turn your stomach into actual dough."

"What?"

"Oh it's simple really," he patted my belly twice and continued, "All you have to do is imagine what it would be like if your belly was made of pizza dough. With enough imagination, and a little help from the powers of Hell, that should turn that rolly polly ponch of yours into just enough stuff to make our crust. Got it?"

"Okay..." I thought about what he said. It struck me then how odd a thought it was, having a gut made of dough. My mind went with it, picturing a loaf of bread in my midsection. I quickly changed it to a bare pizza crust as I'm sure thinking of a bread loaf would have made it into bread dough, and they're not the same thing.

With the deft quickness of a culinary ninja, Robert whipped out one of his knives (a carving blade somewhat larger than they were when I'd first seen them) and sliced into my stomach, severing it completely. It flopped out forward and formed a little ball of light brown, all the fur falling off and disappearing almost immediately. I looked down to the now concaved space where my belly used to be and noticed how pink it was. I poked and giggled as it tickled quite a bit.

"Now," he continued, starting to kneed what had been my gut, "If you want to feel for yourself what it's like to be eaten when that time comes, then you might not want to heal yourself. But, since I'm going to need most of you for this dish, you may want to anyone. At least until you have to do the eating. But that's your choice."

I decided I'd see how long I could go without worrying about how much of me would be left, and just kept myself the way I was. Robert soon finished with the kneading and start spinning like a guy in a pizzeria.

"One might think that this is just for show, but those guys in the kitchens of those pizza places know what they're doing. Nothing makes a good circle like the centrifugal forces of a good spinning."

After about thirty seconds, he tossed the dough into the air and let it land lightly on the pizza pan.

"The next thing I'm going to need is the sauce. This is much like the dough, but it's a bit more complicated. First, picture that your left leg is completely hollow, like a big plastic, leg shaped cup. Then, picture it being full of tomato sauce. I'll be quite honest with you, I'm not quite sure why a raccoon's left leg tastes like tomato sauce, but trust me when I say it really, REALLY does." He waited for a second before saying, "Oh, and you'll need to stand up. Also, put all your weight on your right leg. I don't want to slice your left one off and have you falling to the floor."

I nodded and stood up, doing as he asked. I pictured my leg being completely hollow and then having a few cans of tomato sauce poured into it. Then suddenly, that leg was gone. I was standing firmly on my right leg, and Robert was pouring sauce out of my left one, spreading it evenly across the thin dough. When he was finished, he handed me back my leg.

"Fortunately, that's a limb you can keep and not worry about regrowing. Unfortunately, it's the ONLY one. Speaking of which, I'm in terrible need of some mozzarella and cheddar cheese. That would be your left and right arms respectively. You should know what to do by now."

I nodded and held my arms straight out to the sides. Within seconds of getting the image perfectly in my head, both arms were gone. I sat back down and watched as Robert put both arms under his own left arm and cranked a knob on the stove. He then put both arms vertically (I could still move my fingers, so I just made my palms flat) on a burner each, flicked a switch, and my arms were briefly engulfed in flames. Simply, this singed all the hair off, making everything smell like cooked cheese. Speaking of which, my arms now looked like big, arm shaped chunks of orange and white cheese. Robert nodded and grabbed them both by the wrists and whipped out a huge cheese grater from pretty much no where. He took both of my arms by the wrists and started grating them over the pizza.

"Funny story: I was making sandwiches one day not long after I arrived in hell and was cutting a block of cheese when I accidentally cut off my index finger. Since I was in a bit of an experimental mood, I popped in my mouth and noticed it tasted just like fuzzy cheddar cheese, but with a slightly different texture. About an hour or so of experimenting later, I had a belly full of myself, and an encyclopedic knowledge of what various parts of me tasted like. My ears are my favorite: they taste like ham and swiss on French rye bread. It's odd I know, but the ears are different for every coon person. Everything else is almost exactly the same, though. Weird, isn't it?"

I chuckled a bit as he got down to my wrists. He looked at the pizza and figured that would be good.

"Here, appetizers for the crowd." He then tossed my hands to Tess and Ms. Byron so they could munch away on them. "I call it 'finger food'."

I laughed at that and he grinned.

"It was a cheesy joke, I know." I almost fell over at that comment, but I managed to stay up right. Robert put the big cheese grater back where it came from before producing a knife from one of his holsters. This one was quite small, actually.

"And for all those wondering where I keep pulling knives out of, I have a very special set that I made myself. There's two handles, to plastic sheaths, and an infinite number of blade variations I can pull from said sheaths. This lets me pull what I need when I need it without cluttering up my work space too much. It's also fairly handy in bed for fetishistic fun and such." He winked at ms. Byron, who apparently had much knowledge of this.

"The last thing I'm going to need from you Will is your most precious part. While I was testing myself for flavor, I lopped off my dick and balls, just to see what they ended up being. They were the most full and succulent pieces of pepperoni I'd EVER had the pleasure of tasting. Nothing could compare to the flood of flavor that filled my mouth. As such, for the lone topping on this master-pizza, I'm going to need one set of testicles, and a fully erect penis. Think you can give them up, little guy?"

My tail, even though it was severed and hung on a coat rack, started wiggling around viciously. I nodded and stood up happily. I started thinking about how I was about to lose my junk and have it sliced up, cooked, and eaten by my girlfriend and her mom. Needless to say, it sure as hell didn't take long.

"Ah, that'll do nicely. Now, just point yourself towards the pizza..." I turned just a bit and was rendered nullified as a deft and swift motion cut my tackle from my crotch. I came immediately, squeaking at a high frequency. My dick blew its load all over the pizza, peppering it with cum.

"Though a raccoon's cum has little seasoning flavor to it, I find that the subtle saltiness it has gives a good pizza an interesting edge. This is some what off set by the slices of genitalia I'll be putting on now. Speaking of which." As if it were in fact just a bit of pepperoni, Robert took my dick and balls in his hand, slid it over in front of himself and started slicing it up into an even number of pieces. He whistled while he did this, and I found myself with my jaw almost to my crotch, still being able to feel him cutting into my bits. Once he was finished, he started placing the slices so there were clear lines of no "sausage" where he would be making cuts. By the looks of things, I figured he was taking a piece for himself.

"I always make sure to keep some of the meal so I can see for myself how well I did. I also take it as payment for my time, though that's just a customary thing of being in a business. Having no need for money in hell, I think this makes a much more useful substitute, don't you?" I nodded as he finished up. "And now that the preparations are finished, I merely need to cook it, cut it, and serve it. Speaking of which, you think you'll be okay eating without arms?"

"Yeah, I should be okay," I said, "It's just gonna be a bit tricky is all."

"That's the spirit!" He lifted the pizza pan, used his dexterous foot to open the oven, and then slid the large pizza in. he closed the lid and leaned on the counter.

"So," he said, "Feel anything yet?"

I thought for a second and was going to say no when I noticed that I could feel my arms, stomach, and genitals again. They were getting warm. I oohed as the feeling started to intensify, becoming quite like I was being boiled in pure happiness. Soon the spell of phantom limb syndrome started to feel like my missing bits were bubbling to life, each bubble popping and making my body twitch. My penis in particular was sending me some wonderful vibes, and I wished badly that I could have it back so I could paw off to this sensation that was coursing through me. The more intense it became, the more I squirmed, wriggling about in pure joy and my stuff cooked in the oven. After a minute or two of this, there was a light "Ding!" and it all stopped.

I was breathing heavily, heart pumping hard to get things back to normal. I was laying face down on the island, staring at the counter top. I licked my crusty dried lips and coughed a couple of times.

As he removed the pizza from the oven, Robert simply asked a question.

"Enjoy yourself, little guy?"

I took all of two seconds to formulate an answer. "... YES." I squeaked it much like a non-ev mouse might have if one could talk.

~

"So, how're you making out?" Robert was happily chewing away on a piece of me pizza and watching Tess feed me my own piece. She alternated between pizza and kisses, as my armlessness seemed to turn her on.

"Oh I'm doing great!" I said, "feeling everyone chewing on me at once feels really cool. It's like a big massage or something. And every time someone eats the penis slices, it's like- eep!" Tess had made a small pile of the slices and was nibbling on them teasingly. It made me convulse slightly. Robert ans Ms. Byron giggled.

"Well you certainly seem to be having a good time!" Ms. Byron said.

We laughed a bit and then everything went quiet. I looked over and Robert was staring at me like he was when we came in.

"If you don't mind, could I ask you a few questions Will?" He asked, being careful with his words, "there's a feeling I just can't shake and I just want to see if I'm right."

I swallowed a bite and said "Okay..."

"How old are you?"

"I'm 13. I spent my whole life in an orphanage."

"An orphanage you say? Where abouts would this orphanage be?"

I told him and he was quiet again for a second. His fingers were tented in front of his muzzle.

"I've never been there, but believe it or not, I lived in that area. You never knew your parents, I'm guessing?"

"Right..." I took a careful bite of myself.

"Hmmm... so, did the orphanage tell you anything about them?"

"No, they knew as much as I did. I was pretty much a doorbell baby. They found me in a basket with blankets and a small torn piece of paper with my name on it in there with me. Fairly cliché, actually, minus the heartfelt letter of love."

"A name you say?" His eyes got really thin right then. "What is your full name, Will?"

I swallowed hard and continued to look him in the eye.

"William Rourke."

His reaction was immediate. His eyes went from slits to saucepans, wide as doorways on his face. His surprise was more than evident.

"... what?" I said after a minute or two. He put his hands on the table and leaned back.

"Would you believe me if I told you MY full name?" He asked.

"Why? Is it like... Roger Rourke or something?" I blinked once or twice.

"No," he said leaning in a bit, "It's Robert WILLIAM ROURKE."

You know how in movies when something pivotal is discovered by the main character and they do that funky thing with the lens where it gets closer to the character, but the background seems to stretch further away behind them? Yeah, that's what happened right there.

The food in my mouth fell out of it, and I'm sure I would have lost my jaw if it wasn't so acutely attached. It took quite some time for this to fully set in.

"So... so... wait, so..." I stammered, but finally got it out there, "... you're my... father?"

It seemed like forever before Robert leaned back into his chair and the fact finally sank in for him, too...

"... indeed I am."

Tess was looking back and forth between us, blinking repeatedly and trying to comprehend what she was seeing.

"So let me get this straight," she said, "you're his dad?"

"Is this true, Rob?" Ms. Byron asked.

"It must be. All the facts line up."

"Wait, what facts?" Tess asked, "you guys share the same last two names? How does that prove anything?"

Robert, my potential father, blinked a few times for himself before shaking his head and apologizing. "Oh sorry about that." He said, "I guess I should tell my side of this little story...

"See, quite some time ago, I was a culinary grad student out on his own and looking for work. I found employment in a nearby restaurant which I've forgotten the name of. Unfortunately for me at the time, my hours were very long. I was very good at what I did, and as such, people wanted to eat the food I made.

"This caused many problems for my personal life. You see, I was dating someone at the time, and my strenuous hours were forcing us apart. The worst part was, we were trying to have a kid at the time, which is why I'd gone to college and gotten good at cooking. It was the one thing I knew I could make enough money doing to care for a child. But the job I went for ended up being a bit of a trap with all those hours... my days were long, and very difficult, but fulfilling for the cook part of me.

"But my family life was crumbling to pieces. Yes we could have a kid, but I was always too tired to even bother trying when I got home. On the odd day I did get off work, we tried as best as we could, but nothing seemed to work.

"Eventually, we got so strained that one of two things had to happen. Either I had to quit my job so I could go out job searching in a town where cooks were a dime a dozen, so I'd be getting paid far too little to raise a child anymore, or we'd have to break up and wait for a reasonable time to try again.

"I told my girlfriend that the latter was not an option. I was not going to leave her for anything. I swore to it. We weren't married, but I swore 'Til Death Do Us Part', I said.

"So we tried again. I told her if it worked, I'd stop spending my extra cash and save it up for the nine months it would take for the baby to be born, and then I'd quite, using what ever cash I'd gotten to help pay for things until I could find a good job again, even if it was something I didn't want to do; I'd do it for her... and the baby...

"A couple weeks later, she gave me the news... she was pregnant. I was going to be a father. She took maternity leave from her job and stayed home with a couple of friends who did their best to take my place. I'd have given anything to have been there with her, but I needed to get that cash so we'd at least have something for when the baby came around.

"In the end, it was my hours that did me in. I was too tired that night... way too tired... I'd gotten in the car and started to drive. I drove my usual route, but there was that one turn. You know those turns you always hear about? Every town, city and village has one of these turns near them. They're the killer ones, the ones that jump out and get you when you're not looking. They're like the monsters in little kid's closets, but they're REAL. And if you're not careful, you'll pay for it. I know I did... I had fallen asleep and my weight had pressed down on the gas pedal. I drove straight into the driver's side of the engine of a truck coming around the bend. I was going so fast I nearly killed the poor guy in the truck. Thankfully for him, I was the only casualty. Dead on impact. My child was three months away from being born. I never did get to see him..."

He'd gone from leaning back looking straight down at his legs as he spoke. Every second or so, you could see a glint of something falling from his face... a tear. He sniffed and looked up, his eyes blood shot and the fur around his eyes sopping wet.

His next words came out as a whisper and he grinned afterwards, hugging me so deeply and with so much love that I had no choice but to cry with him... as did Tess and Ms. Byron...

"... until now."

And we all wept...

... together.

-=-=-=-=-=-

It should be said as an aside at this point, the story of William's mother. Her name was Sarah. She was a fox, and a very pretty one. Long black hair, a fair figure. She had great confidence and much love for those around her. She loved Robert with all her heart, and could not wait to see his face when their child was brought into this world. She knew he'd love their kid as much as she would, and they'd all grow up as a family, growing together no matter what life threw at them. She waited everyday of her pregnancy for Robert to arrive home so they could at least sleep together. He'd still have enough energy at the end of the day to cuddle with her, kissing and touching lovingly before his body shut down for its much needed rest. She'd then lay there, running her hands along his tender body, caressing him lovingly. She wanted so badly for them to not have to worry about his work and just be together. But they both knew they'd have to endure the ordeal at least until the child was born. Then and only then would they be able to live as they had wanted.

But fate had other things to say on the matter. Robert died all too soon in Sarah's eyes, and all at once her dreams were shattered. She was going to have to bring up their offspring alone. She was going to have to get a job and support them both by herself, meaning she'd have to send the kid to a daycare center all day until she came home. But she knew she couldn't do that. She couldn't bare to bring a child up in a house with virtually no parents. She wouldn't be able to connect with the child as she would want to, as she knew she needed to. And she knew he would only remind her of her own lost love.

So it was with a very heavy heart that she forced herself to relinquish the child soon after birth. She had him, and a week later found herself on the doorstep of the local orphanage. It was night at the time, as she didn't want the shame of someone seeing her giving up her child and thinking her to be an irresponsible parent. Truth was she'd give anything to be her child's mother, but she saw no way she could possibly manage that. The streets were no home for a child, and neither was a home with no steady parental guidance. She knelt down with her baby in a large easter basket, wrapped up in a warm blanket. He was sleeping soundly, breathing evenly. She pulled out a piece of paper and wrote down a quick note that was barely legible considering the conditions it was written in. It was crumpled, garbled, and shakily scrawled out. The only thing she could actually read when she'd read it over was the words William Rourke. Her tears flooded her eyes as she cried, tearing the note to pieces and just throwing it to the wind. She ran away from there, returning an hour later, desperately hoping her child would still be there. But fate again conspired against her. The baby had been discovered and was now in the care of the orphanage. Sarah wiped away a tear and thought to herself that this was probably best.

But as we know, fate was not completely against her. A part of the note that had been thrown to the wind had just luckily gotten stuck in the blankets ass a breeze blew it past. The other pieces scattered about randomly... but that one had a purpose. The baby would have his father's name.

-=-=-=-=-=-

Much, much time had past since that faithful night at dad's restaurant. Almost 6 months, in fact. We'd all invited him to come and live at what was now our place since I'd moved in with Tess and Ms. Byron. He declined at first, but soon grew into the idea. It took about a week, but eventually he moved in and we were finally a full family. I had a dad, and I had adopted a mom. I had a sister that I loved so much I was dating her (it sounds weird to you, but Hell's seen weirder couples, trust me). And we all lived quite happily together.

And one night, while we slept together in her bed (we alternated where we slept almost every night, because you know, variety and such), I silently deliberated in my head.

"What're you thinking about, honey?" Tess asked.

"I think... I think I'm ready." I said, putting a lot of thought into those words. Tess propped herself up on one arm to get a better look at me. There was light shining in through her appropriately heart shaped window and it was shining right on me.

"Are you sure?" She said, "I mean... this is a big thing for you. Sure we've eaten each other lots of times and all that other stuff, even pawed each other off... but yiffing? Out right yiffing?" She paused for a second, "Honestly I never thought you'd come around." She grinned and I grinned back. I too propped my self up on one arm and half shrugged.

"I don't know. I just got to thinking... maybe it would be a good thing for... you know, consummating our relationship. I mean, I'm sure marriage is okay in Hell, but... I don't know, it just wouldn't feel right, you know?"

"Yeah... I can kinda see what you mean. I guess it's better than some silly ring, hunh? You and I, bumpin' uglies." We laughed at how odd that sounded considering we both thought each other's "uglies" were both quite cute and quite tasty.

I waited for a second before speaking again.

"So, how 'bout it?" I asked. "You wanna yiff a bit?"

She grinned seductively and used her tail to pull my in closer. "Sure honey."

We kissed deep and passionately before a low rumbling shook the bed. I broke the kiss and looked around a bit surprised. Tess just giggled.

"Sorry about that," she said, smiling, "just setting the mood."

And then it hit me. The most alluring combination of those two wonderful scents, cinnamon and chocolate. I was getting so hard so fast I swear I could have gotten friction burns on my sheath...

... and so, we yiffed.

And it was good.

-=-=-=-=-=-

hairball was talking with one of the higher up Hellguardians when she'd gotten the news. A new death that would require her attention. She went to the preliminary viewing room and was quite shocked to see who it was. In her head, she began formulating a little plan, knowing what she knew. She'd been watching that William Rourke and Tesseract Timent couple very closely, as it wasn't often she saw that kind of relationship blossom in Hell. It was very special indeed. And the timing of this could not have been any better.

"I know exactly what to do with her." Hairball had said when she'd properly thought her plan through. "We're going to make one very special exception, and it's going to make on helluva splash for two very special cubs. She smirked as she stared at the still sleeping but freshly deceased soul of a very pretty fox fem with now very disheveled and graying black hair. She knew exactly who that was, and she also knew the rules of Hell. The one thing one could not do in Hell was give birth to a proper life form. It would merely be artificial, and would only last as long as the person who'd created it was concentrating on it. Dead folk could not create life... at least, not directly.

But if they were to ask, or a special situation arose, one could take a freshly dead soul and transplant it into the womb of one of Hell's inhabitants, then they could give birth to a child of their own.

Hairball almost cried with joy as she saw what fate had done. On the same night Will had decided to finally and truly make love to Tess, his mother had died.

And now William, Samantha, and Robert all had a way to finally be together again as a family.

-=-=-=-=-=-

I awoke to Tess shaking me with one hand and rubbing her belly with the other. She seemed slightly panicked...

"Will," she said...

"... I think I'm pregnant."

~

The end

for now...