Story of Matthias and Ian Steele - Chapter 7
#7 of Matthias and Ian Steel (Father/Son)
Chapter 7
It was the first of July; two weeks passed since Ian's mother extempore arrival at their house; after the initial night she, and her ex husband had had harsh susurrations into the night, which would occasionally turn into a harsh exchange. Furthermore Ian had grown weary of listening to his parents argue, watching them avoid each other when they were in the same room; occasionally they were amicable, but there was always a surreptitious jab from one, to the other. His mother instigated it usually, and Ian truly did feel bad for what had happened to her in the past two years; but he could not stand it. His father--he became more ghost like, and in the days afterwards, Ian had not felt his touch, not a hug, or even a billet-doux via text. He had become reticent to the point that Ian had grown frustrated even trying to talk to him and was beyond grateful with Bran came by to invite them formally to the 4th of July party at their home in two days.
Janet had, in turn, met Rebecca and she was incredibly loquacious when they started a friendship; Rebecca would leave the house occasionally to see her, or Janet would be invited over. Matthias seemed less tense when there was a guest around, and Ian knew as well that his father would, if he could, maintain as friendly of a visage as possible. Janet was careful at first to avoid any topics about children with her originally, but the two both had a strange fascination with Sons of Anarchy.
"I really love what they are doing with Jax." Janet began excitedly as she sipped her water, "They just made him--"
"More hollow right? I think that's what is going to drive the show, you know, with all of the other boys too!"
"I was just thinking that, seriously!"
"I think Season Five was my favorite honestly," Rebecca began with a bright smile, "I swear I am in love with Gemma, she reminds me of my sister Shannon."
Janet nodded and smiled politely, and the two continued conversing, while Ian sat at the dining room table, on college work. Today was Matthias's day off, and he had regrettably scheduled to be off on the 4th, despite an adamant refusal to go to a party with Rebecca. He stilled lover her--in an odd way he felt truly sorry for her, but he had grown exhausted of trying to reconcile with what happened. He half accepted that everything was his fault, only to make her feel better, which made her feel worse because she was just unable to deal with her emotions. Seeing Rebecca with another woman and talking was a relief because he felt, maybe, having a friend would actually get her off his ass.
He made his coffee, unsure of what he was in the mood to do; he glanced to his son, who had his head down and was busy typing on his laptop. Matthias frowned at the corner of his mouth, he felt guilty enough all ready, without Ian looking as down as he did. Ian did not looking at his dad; he felt too many things at the moment to know how to communicate him-self.
Nothing but bitching, and arguing--uggh, and they avoid each other like fucking kids.
"Hey Ian," Janet looked over her shoulder, "Are you and Josh gonna go out today? He's been vegetating lately!"
"Oh I might, I'll see if I can get my course work done early!" Ian smiled and nodded to her, "I'll message him if he starts getting antsy!"
Ian looked back to his laptop and his smile dropped; he could see his dad standing in the kitchen, taking a glimpse up to him, before going back to his work. He frowned a little more deeply as he began to feel this anger at his father for being so involved in arguing with his mother again; it reminded him of when he was fifteen. He sighed quietly and then politely excused him-self to his room, saying he needed to listen to some dumb lecture, making sure he did not explicitly act like an ass.
He kept his eyes ahead and closed his door behind him, locking it and groaned outwards and sat down on his bed with his laptop on his stomach. He put on Something About Eve, a doloriferous song he found from an equally depressing album. He closed his eyes and listened to it trying to deter him-self from growing increasingly angry at his family; when he was fifteen he only ever felt cold when his parents argued. Growing up as he did he now felt more irate with them, condemning his dad for turning into a ghost and his mother's incessantly passive-aggressive jabs at his father for never being there when she needed him.
God dammit--they're pissing me off! Ian slammed his fist into the bed and growled lowly in his breath, he was so happy his mother had a friend. Fucking thrilled in some respects she would find someone she would not argue with; but he felt so guilty, being so angry at her.
Ugggh--god this is just some bull shit. Fucking--bull shit. Why can't they just fucking get over this shit--what does she even want from dad?! I mean fuck he tried being there mom, and you just tell him it is never enough; what, was my attempts equally fucking worthless!? GOD!
Ian sat up in his bed as he felt his heart beginning to pound in his chest; he snatched his iPod, headphones, and stormed out his room. He waved to his mom quickly as he left the house and passed his father who was on the porch, not looking at him as he turned up his music and sprinted down the sidewalk. He found his way down to the abandoned warehouse in half the time he would usually spend traveling to it. He ignored doing any kind of stretches and just looked up at the second story window, and stepped back, growling under his breath.
"Man--fuck that bull shit!" Ian growled out and ran forward with all of his might and lunged up the lower window seal, then the top one! He reached for it and pulled him-self up quickly and kicked his legs together in an upwards screw to slid his body through. He landed on the concrete covered ground, and ran lunged through one of the large empty windows, and then zigzagged to perform a full side-flip through the next. He skinned across the dusty aground and landed on his hip, but forced him-self up and ran to the edge of the railing, and perched him-self up. He looked over the inside, and dropped down onto his arms onto the scaffolding below, and then lunged to his right to grab onto the square support pillar, and slip down it. He treated the area like it was a fun house, using every single space and wall to perform front flips, back flips, butter fly twists, and jumping onto, and off elevated ledges.
He leapt off the side of the stairs railing, performed a single summersault and sprinted to lung across the open pit near the center of the floor, doing a reverse five-forty flip when he pivoted off the raised concrete edge. He tucked in his legs as he flung them over his head, touching them for a moment before landing with a spin! He did not stop as he felt the catharsis of running alleviate him of the resentment, and moved through into a nearby office room and did a wide legged split as he pivoted off the table, a frontwards flip over a set of chairs, and jogged out the room. He looked around now for his next jump, and decided to scale up to a second-story floor through the metal-lattice pillar. Up top he investigated his landing to be on the roof of the office building and jogged to the far end, then reared back and lunged, performing a single front flip. He landed, then sprinted forwards and did another front flip off the building, and landed with a pant, smiling wide as he stood up and huffed out.
"HEY!" A voice shouted from across the warehouse, "Who is in here! You are trespassing!"
It was Keith, emerging from the door in a tucked in light yellow shirt with jeans, and his sunglasses. Ian rolled his eyes as he exited through a side door and he heard the man cuss, and begin running towards him; Ian looked around and then scaled up the side of the building quickly, and entered in through a second story window. He felt a sudden thrill now greater than before as he jogged across the second story floor to where he had originally entered; Keith must have drove here, as the parking lot had only one car. He climbed down and then jumped off from the wall, landing on the soft grass with a grunt, and jogged away from the location. By this time Keith had come back out and was cussing up a storm at Ian, who merely disregarded it and waved him off with a laugh.
He returned home twenty minutes later, having been gone for a solid hour and a half now, and Janet had left with his mother, the two of them going into town to the GoodWill. Ian cleaned off his clothes and entered in, quickly getting him-self some water and downed it in seconds with heavy gulps and panted.
Man Keith is fucking annoying--what was he doing there, anyways?
"You have fun?" Matthias asked Ian from the couch, "I _just_got a call from Keith, he said you were trespassing?"
Ian sighed, "I was free-running at that old warehouse."
Matthias nodded, "Well he gave me an earful, said you vandalized the place."
Ian shrugged, "didn't break anything, so he can fucking get over it."
Matthias's eyes widened, "You know I hate that language, Ian. You REALLY know I do not like to hear my son speak that way, and not to me either."
Ian sighed and apologized, walking away from his dad with scorn and then shut the door to the bathroom harder than he expected, locking it behind him. He hopped into the shower and played his music over his iPod speakers and undressed, moving into the hot water with a sigh of relief. Matthias was shaking his head and closing his eyes, muttering under his breath, "Ian don't--that is the last thing I need right now."
Knock, knock, knock.
Matthias looked over his shoulder through the window to the porch and his eyes narrowed when he saw two policemen in blue uniforms standing there.
"You have--to be fucking kidding." Matthias swore to him-self he was going to beat Ian now, and he stood up to move to the door and opened it, greeted by two younger officers, who looked up at him and then nodded their head back when they saw the size of the dragon.
"Are you Mr. Steel?" The male officer began, "I am officer Chambers, and we received a call from a disgruntled neighbor that your son was vandalizing property on-- Isham Street. Can we come in?"
Matthias frowned and stepped forward closing the door behind him and looked them over closely. "My son was performing a gymnastics routine; are you sure vandalism took place?"
"Well the call we received claimed he broke several windows, and spray painted a wall with vulgar language," Chambers read off the paper and looked up to the dragon. "Sir, have you lived here long?"
"Yes, three months." Matthias answered coolly, "Why do you ask, Officer?"
Chambers looked to the other male officer, a dark skinned man named Jonah, and Jonah gave the nod to Chambers.
"Sir we have a--resident here, who often reports mishaps in the community, on a near daily basis. Now this is not to say that some reports are not wasting our time--but, we just need to make sure that in this case he was not trying to get us to police the neighborhood."
Matthias cocked his eyebrow and snorted, "I see. Well I can assure you my son did not spray-paint the walls, he can barely write his own name."
"And you said he was performing gymnastics?" Jonas began with a head tilt and smiled, "Is your son a free-runner?"
"Yes he is, you know about it? My son has been doing it for years."
"It is a popular sport here; you'll find them at almost every park. . ." Jonah began, his sentences finished by Officer Chambers.
"Or abandoned buildings. We only ever remove them from the location for safety reasons; there are legitimate competitions for that sort of thing. Just try to keep him away from you know who--we can't be called out here every time he thinks someone should be detained."
Matthias nodded to them and waited until they left before quickly calling out to Ian through the bathroom door, knocking on it hard.
"Ian? Ian! We need to talk, I just had the police come up here; Keith called them to my house!"
Matthias heard a noise behind him as Rebecca came in, wanting to know why the police were there and Matthias explained to her what happened, and that it was not a big deal.
"Someone called the police on our son, Matthias. That is obviously a big deal!" Rebecca argued, "Ian! Get out here, right now!"
"Dammit Rebecca don't' yell in my ear!" Matthias growled at her and knocked on the door harder, demanding Ian turn down the music and at least talk to them.
Ian groaned and put his hand to the shower door, and slammed it open, "LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE, OK?! FIVE MINUTES, I just want five minutes of peace!"
Rebecca and Matthias's eyes both widened at hearing their son scream at them, for what was perceivably the first time he had ever done so. Ian slammed the shower door shut and stood in the hot water with his eyes closed, his heart pounding and his fists gripped as tightly as he could. His eyebrows were raised as if he was expecting to be shouted at, and it was his mother who began lecturing him through the bathroom door about his language!
"Rebecca, please do not yell right into my ear." Matthias groaned out with a roll of his eyes, "He is obviously not going to answer either of us."
"Well he should not speak to us like that! What happened that made him so mad; I've never heard him be like that before!"
Matthias frowned out the corners of his mouth and looked at her, "What do you think? What is the only thing he has had to deal with for the past two weeks?"
Rebecca smirked and nodded, "Oh sure, make it sound like it is my fault."
"Would you just get off my ass," Matthias growled. "I welcomed you into my home because I knew you had nowhere else to go; how about you fucking stop treating me like an ass hole for one day!"
"You see, this is where Ian is going to get his temper! That shit, right there!"
"And you don't think you're inspiring him either?!" Matthias growled out at her, throwing his hands up as he walked by her, "You're unreal! You always have to blame someone else, Rebecca!"
"Well if you didn't stand there like a ghost, and took action, maybe there wouldn't be a--"
"Take action?!" Matthias spun around, "I filed the divorce papers for you, because you were too busy taking your dead sister's Venlafaxine to even notice you missed Ian's sixteenth birthday!"
"I lost two children in one year, and my sister, you fucking bastard!" Rebecca screamed at him, "I lost so much of my life, and you lost nothing! You just went to work, came home, and that was all there was to it! So what if I fucked another guy, you were probably thinking of doing it the whole time as well!"
Matthias widened his eyes, "You are such a fucking bitch! I had to find a new job and relocate because your mom would not let me stay in that house! I had do ALL of this so YOU could be with your new fucking man while you tried to make OUR son hate ME! You selfish bitch!"
Rebecca screamed out at Matthias and ran at him, smacking him in the face and Matthias roared in return, shoving her back. She attacked again with another slap to his face, calling him a bastard, and a piece of shit, and that she never loved him, it was his fault for getting her pregnant when she was twenty six.
"You should have just stuck to fucking men!" She laughed out, "At least then you'd be used to your own shit!"
"You fucking bitch--so now Ian is accidental!? How dare you talk about my son like that!" Matthias was screaming at the top of his lungs and pointed to the door, " GET OUT! JUST GET THE FUCK OUT RIGHT NOW!"
Rebecca just turned around and moved into her room and slammed the door, and she instantly began crying while Matthias, overwhelmed, threw his glass at the wall and cussed. He stomped into his room and shut the door, sitting on his bed rapidly breathing in and out, clenching his fists. About half an hour would pass and the shower water had still not stopped running, it was three in the afternoon. During the entire fight Ian had turned the hot water on almost full blast and just resorted to sitting in the shower, his head down, and eyes closed. The music could not drown out their screaming, eventually he drifted away into a trance like state, where he heard nothing else, but silence. He eventually left the bathroom, and in a state of defiance, had left the shower water, and iPod running; he scaled the house onto the back roof, and lay half naked against the shingles, looking up at the clouds.
Matthias had moved out of his room and attempted to open the bathroom door, but he found it locked; he sighed and undid the lock with his fingernail, and moved in. The music was louder than he expected, and he turned it down now, not seeing his son standing up in the shower. He looked around for him and turned off the water, and then the iPod, and move out of the bathroom, "Ian--Ian! Are you in this house?"
There was no reply and he searched in Rebecca's room; she was asleep, and he looked in Ian's room, and his son was still not there. Matthias felt the paroxysm of anger, and regret gripping his chest; he could not believe that Ian may have actually run off. He texted him instantly, demanding to know where he was; he received no reply for several minutes, almost ten. He moved to sit down at the dining room table and taped his claws against the wood, his eyes closed.
God dammit Ian--I am sorry. Matthias susurrated under his breath, shaking his head and looked up to the ceiling, wondering what in the hell he should do. He had no other person to ask for advice--he never did; Rebecca did not know what it was like to be alone, like him. His family was dead or separated--spread out amongst the country, and his father had made it painstakingly clear how little interest he had in a bisexual son.
"She doesn't fucking know--she lost her sister but she has her parents," Matthias growled through his teeth. "I--don't regret you Ian, but I wish I had never met her."
? ? ?
Ian had fallen asleep on top of the roof and was awoken when he heard Keith's voice from down the road. Ian stood up and walked across the roof to where the front yard was and he stood on top of it with his hands in his pockets, his bright ruby scales impossible to not notice. Keith looked up at him with a shit eating grin and probably glowering behind his sunglass; as a challenge Ian lunged forward and did a front flip with a twist, and landed on his feet. His wife gasped as he had jumped but when he landed, he stood up, his hands in his pockets once more, before he turned and walked back inside of his house.
"Ian, where have you been?" Rebecca asked him as she was standing in the dining room with a glossy look to her eyes, "You've been gone for over an hour."
"I was on the roof," Ian muttered. He glared at the floor, and before he could walk away she asked him what he wanted for dinner tonight, and he shrugged, saying anything she felt like making.
"Well hunny, what would you like?" She asked cautiously, "You've been active all day."
Ian looked up and rolled his head around with uncertainty, "I guess whatever it is you want mom, I don't care."
"Ian please don't act like that," Matthias asked from the couch, "Not right now."
Ian looked at him with a glare and Matthias looked up at him; Ian felt momentarily intimidated, but he did not relinquish his glare at his father. He stepped away from him and repeated him-self with more enthusiasm.
"Make Panini; I wanted to make them a few days ago." Ian spoke to her from the hallway, "everything is in the fridge."
His mother nodded and moved off the counter, uncrossing her arms as she began to slowly start dinner; to her, it felt almost as foreign as being in another country. Touching pots and pans that were not hers, in a kitchen she did not know well--she thought back to what she had said earlier, and felt conscience-stricken now, more than she had ever felt in her life. Ian must have heard it--she knew he would hate her now, after she selfishly talked about her life the way she did. They had waited for him to come home and Matthias looked up to her before moving to go speak to Ian in his room.
The door was unlocked and he opened it slowly, finding his son was on his laptop at his desk and his room was dark, the curtains pulled closed. He was typing furiously at the keys. It was unnerving to hear him so aggressively slam his fingers down; his son's face was like a mirror image of him now, holding that deep, angry glare.
_ _"Ian stop typing, I want to speak to you." Matthias closed the door behind him and stood by the door, waiting for him to stop. Ian finished with a hard slam of his thumb onto the keyboard, and looked down at his father's feet, not saying anything.
"Yes?"
Matthias closed his eyes and exhaled through his nose, lowering his snout, "I know you are mad--but you cannot get in trouble, like that, again."
Ian nodded, "I won't go do it anymore."
"I am not saying to stop Ian, just don't do it there."
"Fine, I won't." Ian replied with a callous tone to his father.
"Ian, look at me," Matthias asked him quietly. Ian looked up from the floor to his father and then he looked away: he had nothing to say to his father besides answering him. Matthias waited to figure out what he should, or would say, and relaxed his arms, "Ian--I am sorry about what she said."
"Don't be," Ian replied quietly, "I don't give a shit about it."
"You do, because you're not even looking at me." Matthias retorted, "I know you are mad--I did not want this to happen, you know that?"
"No one wants this kind of shit to happen, dad." Ian growled lowly, "No one wants to hear their fucking mother say they are a mistake! And no one wants to just be--fucking forgotten by someone, after he got so close to them!"
"Well what do you want me to do?" Matthias harshly whispered to keep his voice down from Rebecca, leaning forward, "I can't just kick her out!"
"I am not asking you do," Ian remarked, "I am not that much of an asshole."
"Could you just stop cussing?" Matthias growled at his son, "I am sick of hearing you speak like that."
Ian frowned and looked away from his father more now as he looked down at his keyboard, and he said nothing else. He crossed his arms and closed his eyes, "I am so sick of it. I am sick of the screaming, the arguing--always sitting here in silence, listening to you two shouts; and the only time someone wants to talk to me is to apologize."
"Well what do you want us to say?" Matthias asked with exhaustion, "I cannot read yours, or your mother's mind; I certainly do not even know what she wants."
"No one friggin does, she does not even know what she wants, dad." Ian remarked, "she is stuck in this--stupid cycle of being miserable, because she does not know what to do anymore. She never wanted to be a mom, she never wanted me."
"That is not true Ian," Matthias corrected him and stepped forwards and sat on the edge of the bed besides his son. "She does love you--but your mother has always been emotional--she has been through a lot in her life."
Ian shrugged, "She doesn't know what she does, or does not have. She's too busy trying to replace her old life with new things, instead of being fucking happy with what she has."
Matthias looked down and nodded, in fact he agreed with Ian, and he had never heard him talk like that before, "What else do you think?"
"I think the fucking reason you don't say a damn thing is because you don't even know why you should; she won't listen to you, only Grandma was ever able to make anything make sense."
"She did," Matthias answered quietly, nodding his head. "Mom was really good at driving the point home--you sound a lot like her, right now, Ian."
His son shrugged his shoulders, "I'm just being honest, that I am sick of this shit. I miss seeing my dad happy, I hate seeing my mom act like an emotional addict--I am sick of this definition of a family."
Matthias looked up at him quickly and frowned, the words stung him. "What do you mean?"
"Just that--dad, how can you be ok, seeing me so angry, and depressed, and not say anything to me?" Ian looked over at him with more sadness in his eyes, "You tried so hard with mom, is that it? Did she just take it all away from you--were we only close because we--"
"Do you--really think I do not care about you?" Matthias asked slowly, his heart numbed by this. "I do love you son-- I always have!"
"I know you do," Ian muttered. "I've never been able to comfort you when you're mad because when you're like that--you know nothing else but fighting. And when mom is like that, she is the same way. I just sit around, waiting for you guys to stop. And-- I miss us being. . ."
"Dinner is ready, Ian, Matt." His mother's voice called to them through the door, and Ian sighed, looking down at his hands.
Matthias sighed and looked up to the door and then to his son who merely stood up and walked past him, and Matthias followed after him. They said nothing else to eachother as they took their plates, and Ian moved out to the back yard to eat alone, and Matthias decided to leave him alone, and quietly ate at the table, staying inside of his head. Rebecca was on the phone with Janet now, who had been giving her a good lecture about the fight earlier; she was dispelling her marriage advice, which she always gave around to people. Rebecca was apprehensive at first about the suggestion that she had to let go of her own pain and misery, to learn to live again; Matthias would do the same, and no one would blame each other. It seemed like a foreign concept at first, since her father taught her otherwise that you could never compromise your feelings for someone, if they did not do the same.
"Did you talk to him?" Rebecca began slowly, after she had gotten off the phone with Janet. "You two were in there a while."
"I tried." Matthias remarked under his breath, not in the mood to eat.
"What did he say?" Rebecca asked.
Matthias leaned back in the chair and looked up at the ceiling, "Well-- he hates how we behave as parents. And he thinks our family is a poor excuse; you're an emotional addict, and the reason I say nothing is because, in his own words why bother."
Rebecca frowned deeply at the corners of her mouth and nodded, "I guess we were are fucked up parents."
Matthias nodded in agreement, and looked at her seriously. "We're not getting back together; but we need to stop this, for Ian's sake. He said that that we only prioritize him when we're not declaring war on eachother, and basically we suck."
Rebecca cocked her eyebrow at her son's bravery, "He sounds like your mom."
"Yeah, he does," Matthias agreed.
Ian came back inside some twenty minutes later and dropped his plate in the sink and walked by his parents with out so much of a glance to either of them and began to play Halo to distract him-self from them. Rebecca and Matthias spoke quietly to eachother about a plethora of miscellaneous topics, from work to what Rebecca intended to do in the future; she made mention that Janet was going to help her get a job. She asked Ian if he was looking for one but her son merely shrugged, saying he was guessing he would, when he turned eighteen so he could not get a "shitty job" where he was "fucking miserable." Rebecca looked at Matthias with wide eyes and the father merely shrugged his shoulders, saying he didn't think they should harass him about it, because they had hardly set an example earlier. Josh text Ian asking if he was excited about the party at Brad and Janet's, and he mentioned he was thrilled, and then Josh text back that the Oswald's were going to be there too, and he should bring as much fake booze as possible.
"The Oswald's will be at the party," Ian mentioned to them, cutting off their conversation and setting his cellphone on his lap. "So lets try to keep on some happy faces."
Matthias sighed under his breath, "I know-- I know Ian, none of us like him."
"Who?" Rebecca asked curiously.
"The man who called the police on me, and threatened to call the police on dad when you two were arguing over the phone last month." Ian replied with a callous tone, "I don't think I'll go, you two can, I'd rather stay home."
"No you are going, Ian." His father sternly informed him, "You may be mad at us, but Janet and Brad do want you there with their son, so try to at least humor them."
"Fine," Ian muttered through his teeth. His parents continued to talk about the party and what they would bring, and his mom was more excited about the idea than either of them, as she seemed to have developed a good friendship with Janet in the past week. She pardoned her-self away to go shower and Ian was left alone in the living room with his dad looking at him occasionally, and he refused to say a single word to him.
"Ian--" Matthias began, and moved to sit beside him on the couch.
"Yes?" Ian coldly asked.
"Why are you so mad at me?" Matthias began, "I know you're mad at us both-- but I feel like my son is more upset with me than he is letting me in on."
Ian frowned deeply and scowled at the TV as he felt his father touch his shoulder, and he looked down at his controller, "Because I fucking miss you, and you're too busy arguing with mom to see how lonely I've been. Two weeks-- without so much as an "I love you, son"."
"It has not been two weeks since I said that." Matthias retorted with a frown
"Yes, it has, dad." Ian looked over seriously, "I know because I'm the only one in the house not self- medicating. I've kept track; today is the first day either of you have actually noticed me, because I got in trouble."
Matthias sighed, "I am sorry that I neglected you, son. But your mother being here has put a complete spin on things, and I've had a hard time adjusting to that, and her treating me like some kind of punching bag. So you have to excuse me, for that."
"Are you seriously getting mad at me now?" Ian looked over at his dad, dumbfounded and nodded, "Fine-- fine." Ian stood up and moved away from his dad and stomped across the living room, and before he left to his room, he told his dad the reason he was so god damn mad, was because he missed him, and that was all.