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Once we got in the bathroom, I turned the shower on... There's no radiator in the bathroom and while we were standing there naked, I started to get a little cold... When Blain saw I was shivering, he came up to me and held me close... His fur is thicker than mine... Caressing him feels as if your touching a soft carpet... I've always loved it whenever he held me close like that... At some point, we stepped inside the shower cabin and let the hot water run over us, still holding each other in a loving embrace... We were messing around, cracking jokes and laughing before but the moment we stepped inside the shower cabin, we couldn't have been more serious with each other... With my back facing him, he clenched his arms around my stomach and buried his muzzle in my neck... I closed my eyes and let it all just come over me... The hot water running down my body, feeling his warm breath in my neck was quite tantalizing... The butterflies in my stomach when he placed his hands on it... I turned around and pressed my lips against his again... It's the best thing anyone can make you feel... And all he did was smiling at me when he got hold of a shampoo bottle, squirted some on his hand and quietly whispered to me to close my eyes... His hands gently massaged my head once I held my head up and closed my eyes... It just felt so wonderful... He used the shower-head to rinse it out once he was done... And after that, he took a bottle of shower-gel and used his hands to soap me up... His hands reached all over my body to make sure I was squeaky clean... He really took his time but I didn't mind... I loved what he was doing... Especially when he washed my breasts and thighs... Not to mention when his hands went down between my legs... He made me turn around and washed my back, from top to bottom... His hands gently going over my buttocks, all the way down to my feet... It was as if he was exploring my body for the very first time again...

I did the same to him... Washing him all over his body... Blain is very muscular... Seeing him like that reminded me of those male Calvin Klein models... Sure, some those models were edited with Photoshop but this was real... Sometimes I wondered why I was so sexually attracted to him... His looks couldn't be the only reason yet I feel as if it was the only thing that ever made me give in to it... But when I stared back in those blue eyes of his, I got reminded of the shy little boy he once used to be... And look at him now, fourteen years later... A lot of things have changed over the years but our friendship never did... And maybe that's why we were able to go this far with each other... So I wasn't hesitating when I was washing him... I did the same things he did to me, feeling his entire body, as if I was exploring him for the very first time again... So when I reached down between his legs, I took all the time in the world... And even though it still felt weird for me to hold on to a penis, it was also quite exciting... Remembering that video-clip we watched earlier that evening where that girl was sensually sucking on a dick sent tingles through my stomach... Especially when I thought that I could do that too... I thoroughly washed his penis by soaping it up with a gentle massage... Going between his legs and caressing his balls while I was at it... Judging the way he looked at me seemed he enjoyed it very much... Seeing that look on his face only encouraged me to go on... So I turned the showerhead the other way when I wanted to get down on my knees...

By the time I did, he became as hard as a rock... Knowing what I was intending to do must've been quite exciting for him as well... Gently kissing his balls first made his penis twitch a little... I gently started to stroke his shaft while I used my other hand to massage his nuts... Sucking on them for only a short moment... Licking them for a while... It felt good to know I was in charge of his pleasure... So when I finally started to lick his shaft, I looked up every once in a while and I could see the poor guy trying to hold himself back... I could read his mind every time he looked down on me... "Why isn't she putting it in her mouth yet...?" He wasn't asking for it though... But with my awesome psychic powers, I could tell exactly what he wanted... Going around with my tongue on his tip made his penis twitch again... And that's when I took it in my mouth... But sucking on his tip had this horrible taste... I turned away and spat several times while Blain looked at me surprised...

'What, what's wrong??'

'Soap taste...'

'Haha! Awww...'

He took the showerhead to rinse off his dick and once that was done, I gurgled some water just to get rid of that horrible taste... "Okay, take two..." So I was at it again... Only sucking the tip, taking him a little deeper, bopping my head gently up and down... He fucking loved it, haha... Who'd have ever thought that I would take a cock in my mouth and seriously aim to please a guy... I sure as hell didn't until two weeks ago... It's actually unfair to him because he always ate my pussy and I hardly ever returned the favor... I should suck his dick more often... Perhaps I should dedicate myself to orally please him the next time we're doing this... He never hesitates to do so on me... Then again, he also teases me whenever he went down on me... Imagine the look on his face when I stopped after a while and stood up... Hihi...

Blain grabbed my shoulders and gently pushed me back against the wall... His eyes burning with desire, he buried his muzzle in my neck... The oh so familiar kisses followed... A little rushed but nevertheless quite enjoyable, slowly working his way down... I threw my legs over his shoulders and felt his tongue all over my naughty bits... His hands caressing my thighs... Many years ago, I told him how to go down on a girl and now everything he learned was put into practice on me... He did such a good job... Then again, he had one hell of a teacher, hihi... I had my eyes closed and enjoyed it quietly until I felt his finger gently circling around my butthole... It felt weird at first but it's so sensitive... He kept on going for a while and just when I got used to the feeling, he gently started to prod my ass with his finger... I gasped when he did and that's when he got hold of the bottle of lube... Squirted a reasonable amount of lube on his fingers and applied some on my butthole...

'Eee! That stuff is cold!'

'Haha, relax...'

'You really gonna stick your finger in there...?'

'Yes... I'm gonna loosen you up a bit...'

'Pfffff...'

'You ready...?'

'Kind of...'

'You sure you wanna do this? Because if it were me, I'd definitely would have second thoughts by now.'

'Just be gentle with me, okay...? Don't ram a fist up my ass...'

'Haha, I didn't know you were into that!'

'I wouldn't know, never got fisted before...'

'That can be arranged...'

'... Let's just stick with butt-sex for now, okay? One kinky thing at a time.'

'Haha, sure thing...!'

I thought he was gonna shove his whole finger up there in one go but he gently started to prod again... I gasped quietly as he slowly went in a little deeper... I tried to relax as much as possible and even though he kept eating my pussy while his finger went up my ass was quiet pleasurable, my butt tried to push his finger out... I didn't really felt so comfortable with that, because it felt as if I had to take a shit real bad... I'm not gonna go into detail but uhm... There was something about it that I really enjoyed despite feeling a little uncomfortable...

'Oooooh my god, this feels so weird...'

'Want me to stop...?'

'It's weird in a good way, I suppose...'

So he kept on going... Slowly but steady, he went a little deeper each time... Going in and out very slowly, until his entire finger went in... For something I've never experienced, I can't really explain how it feels like... It feels like it's burning but in a pleasurable way... It went a lot easier once I managed to fully relax... And after a while, a second finger joined in...

'Ah!'

'Sorry... Everything okay?'

'Oh man...'

'Does it hurt...?'

'A little...'

'I'm sorry...'

'it's okay... It feels as if I need to take a shit real bad...'

'God, I hope not...'

'My butt doesn't like two fingers up there...'

'And you...?'

'Kind of...'

'Hehehe...'

'By the way, uhm... There's nothing coming out, right...? I mean...'

'Oh no, it's all clean. As long as you hav- Oh my god, what the fuck!!'

'What, what's wrong?!!'

'Dude, that is SO fucking gross!!'

'What?!!'

'Haha! I'm just messing with you.'

'Seriously?!'

'Yeah, dude, chill out! Hahaha!'

'Pfffffff...'

'Maaaaan, your face was priceless! It's all good, see? Here, have a smell.'

'Haha, what the hell, Blain!'

'No, really, my fingers smell like candy canes and potpourri.'

'Haha! You crazy bastard...'

'... Says the girl who shoved her fingers up my nose after she fingered Sarah and told me to guess who it was by smelling her fingers.'

'... That was a long time ago.'

'So??'

'Still, you got it right on your first try though...'

'Haha, holy shit man...'

'No, but seriously...'

'Yeah! Relax, it's all clean!'

'Okay... Good to know...'

'Continue?'

'Yeah...'

I was a lot of more comfortable when "everything checked out"... Meaning that it was all clean... Two fingers in my butt... Wow, who'd have thought? Things started to get a lot more enjoyable once I placed my leg over his shoulder again... I closed my eyes and I could just melt away... He did such an amazing job...

'Hm... Oooh, that's so great... A-Ah...!'

'Well, I learned from the best...'

'Hehehe... Hmm... H-Hah... Hihihi, oh my god... Na'am, burung gazam...'

'... You know, you talk Urdu during sex sometimes but I have no idea what it all means.'

'It means, for a guy who loves eating pussies, you talk way too much...'

'Hehehe...'

'Just a little longer, please...'

So with two fingers up my butt going in and out slowly, he kept on eating me out for another while... I could hear my own gasps and quiet little moans of pleasure echo in the shower cabin... Feeling the hot steam and the cold stone tiles against my back... It would be a whole lot more comfortable for me if I got down on my back, on a soft warm bed, spreading my legs for him... Thoughts like these are the most exciting... Because even though I've always told myself that I'm "not that kind of girl", the thought of actually being that girl for once is quite exciting... The idea to just lose control and let him have his way with me is quite tantalizing... To force his will on me yet in a passionate and seductive manner... In the fourteen years that I've known him, he never took advantage of me or the situation... He never used me when I was at my strongest and certainly not when I was at my weakest... So what reason would that give him to do so all of a sudden...? He wouldn't, because he respected me for who I was... He loved and cared for me and that's why he never did... He treated me with respect... Always puts me in first place and it wasn't any different during sex... And it's strange because... Sometimes I wished he didn't...

I know he has fantasies... Anal sex just happens to be one of them, a fantasy that I secretly shared with him... Truth is, I never tried it before up until that night... It's strange, it's weird, it was all new... Every time I looked down and made eye-contact with him, I could see the lust in his eyes... Eager to step it up a bit... The thing is, Blain never did anything to me without me telling him to do so, afraid that he might do something I wasn't comfortable with... I can't say how much I appreciate the thought... But sometimes, showing a little initiative with a female wouldn't hurt... Especially when she's horny as hell... I looked down as I placed my hands on his cheeks... But it wasn't until I gently nudged up his head when he faced me... When Blain got up, I looked him in the eyes and placed my hands on his waist as we stood there, face to face... And that's when I quietly whispered to him...

'Do you remember that time I got bullied by Randy when I was out in the park with you...? And that you stood up for me...?'

'Until I got beaten up by him for doing so...'

'But that didn't stop you to protect me whenever I needed it...'

'Because you always did the same for me...'

'Of course... And we promised that we'd always look out for each other...'

'Why would you bring this up right now...?'

'Because we made a promise our friendship would never change... And I feel it shouldn't be any different if we're doing this... You always took good care of me... Either as a friend or as a mate...'

'Heh...'

'You treat me with respect and dignity... Not everyone did... But sweetheart, you don't have to put me on a pedestal... I know you have fantasies too... And there's nothing wrong with that...'

'What do you mean?'

'It shouldn't stop you from doing what you'd like to do with me... I didn't chose you as my mate just because I want you to do my bidding... We chose each other as a mate because we both like to act out on each other's wishes...'

'You mean, like... Coming from both ways...'

'Exactly... There's nothing wrong for you to tell me what to do...'

'Despite everything that happened to you...?'

'Yes...'

'Why...?'

'Because it reminds me that they have nothing in common with you... And I know you'll give that back in return... I know you'll never hurt my feelings if you do because we promised to look after each other...'

'I see..'

'I'm not expecting you to understand my reasons or motives of why I want this to happen with us... Our reasons for doing this are irrelevant, simply because we both want this to happen... And that is why I'm not expecting an explanation from you either... It just happens when we let it happen... It's simply the way things are for us... The way we chose it to be...'

Blain looked at me and smiled when I pressed my lips against his... He placed his hands on my waist as I was kissing him... One last look in his eyes before turning around... But when I did, I leaned against the wall, bending over for him... Lifting my tail up... I expected him to mount up right away but he didn't... When I looked over my shoulder, I could see that he was just staring at my naughty bits and hesitated to give in...

'It's okay...'

It wasn't until I reached out for his hand that he started to get closer... I could feel his manhood between my legs... And even though I had no idea what to expect if I went through with this, it was still a rather thrilling experience for me... Not only because it was something I've always wanted to try but also because it was his fantasy as well... A fantasy that was about to come true for the both of us... So, uhm... Needless to say, it didn't really take long after that... With excessive amount of lube to ensure "a smooth ride", he held on to my waist and gently prodded my butthole... Very slowly, he started to prod me deeper... And I wasn't so sure whether to like it or not at first... Maybe it's because it felt so unnatural... It was a tight squeeze, I can tell you that... But I wasn't exactly quiet whenever he was giving me a gentle thrust... Especially when he went deeper inside me...

'Ngh...! Ah...! O-Oh man... I can't believe I have a cock up my butt... Hng...! H-Hah! Oh my god, it's all the way in there, isn't it...?'

'Yeah, pretty much... You okay?'

'Pffffff... Y-Yeah, I'm alright... Just go easy on me...'

'Does it hurt...?'

'Well, no not really but... It's very sensitive...'

'You sure you wanna go through with it...?'

'Yeah...'

'Okay...'

'Go on, nice and easy...'

'Relax your butt...'

'It's easier said than done when something is trying to pry its way through my intestines...'

'Just tell me if you don't like it...'

'Well, I do but it just feels really weird and unnatural... It feels as if my ass is about to ignite...'

'Haha! '

'One thing's for certain though...'

'What?'

'I'm no longer constipated.'

'Hahaha! Dude...'

'I'm just kidding...'

Well, after that talk we've had, he slowly went in and out again... It hurt the first time he penetrated me but it started to feel better... I could hear him huffing and puffing behind me as he gently took me from behind... Normally, he'd go a little a faster than that... But he was ever so gentle with me... I guess he was afraid of hurting me if he'd pound me like he usually does... Things started to feel a whole lot more pleasurable once I fully relaxed... And I did that by relaxing my ass as much as possible... Also, letting go of the idea that I had to take a shit helped a lot... It's not really that comfortable thinking that you have to during anal sex... Still... I still felt this burning friction inside... Didn't felt that bad at first but it was getting worse the longer he was at it... Luckily, he noticed before it became unbearable for me... I was gonna tell him if it hurt too much but like I said, showing some initiative wouldn't hurt... So getting lubed up again made all the difference there was for me... And once he penetrated my tail-hole again, things went a lot smoother... It feels intense, something I've never experienced before... I'm normally not that loud during sex from what I know... But getting butt-fucked was a whole new experience... I never imagined that it could feel so good... I wasn't sure if it's better than vaginal sex but... I sure as hell wouldn't mind to make him decide where he'd like to stick it... I closed my eyes and heard my moans echoing throughout the shower-cabin... But at some point, he went a little faster as his hand reached down between my legs, fondling my clitoris and rubbed up and down between my slit... He heard how much I fucking loved it... And I guess it didn't take long for him after that... I felt him throbbing inside of me the moment he ejaculated... A warm splash of cum up my ass as I heard a rather satisfied grunt coming from him... He gently bit my neck-scruff as he breathing heavily through his nostrils, followed by a gentle kiss in my neck... And when he did pull out, I could feel his cum dripping out of my ass... I too had to catch my breath... Maybe even more than he had to... We stood there for a while, with his hands still on my waist and me still bending over... But when I turned around and the two of us looked at each other, I couldn't help but to smile at him... Mainly because he looked so satisfied... He placed his hands on my waist again and held me close as he quietly whispered in my ear... I closed my eyes when I placed my hand on his chest and rested my head against his strong shoulder...

'How's that...?'

'Good... Went better than I expected...'

'Hehe...'

'What about you...? Did you like it...?'

'I think it's the first time I ever came this fast...'

'I take it as a yes then...'

'It didn't hurt, did it...? Because it looked like you were in pain...'

'It hurt at first but... I'd let you know if I couldn't take it, trust me...'

'Yeah but, uh... I've never heard you being so loud before though...'

'Haha! Hmmmm...'

'You weren't faking it, were you...?'

'I wasn't...'

'... For real??'

'Pleasure does that to a female... You ought to know that...'

'Hehehehehe...'

We gave each other a quick kiss on the lips before washing ourselves again... Once I was done cleaning myself, I stepped out of the shower-cabin and dried myself off... Blain stayed there to wash himself thoroughly for obvious reasons... I hanged a clean towel for him on the rack and made my way to my room where I flopped down on my bed... Butt-naked and down on my stomach... And even though I still felt a burning itch in my butt, I couldn't help myself to feel quite satisfied as well when I closed my eyes...

Blain came in my room a while later and sat on the edge of my bed... I opened my eyes the moment I felt him caressing my butt cheeks...

'You grew quite fond of it, didn't you...?'

'I'm in love...'

'Hihi... With me or with my butt...?'

'Your butt, of course...'

'My butt is part of me, just so you know...'

'Ssssssh, don't listen to her, she's just jealous and tries to wedge us apart...'

'Haha! You already wedged my ass cheeks apart with your dick!'

'Nothing can come in between the love I share for you, my precious...'

'You do realize you're talking to an ass, right?'

'That's not a very nice thing to say about yourself.'

'Can't believe I didn't see that one coming.'

'Haha! Awwwww...'

'Hehehe...'

I know he has this tail fetish thing... Except he never really did anything with it... Maybe he thought I would find it weird for him to play with my tail... Hell, I wasn't even sure if he thought I had a sexy tail... I peeked over my shoulder the moment I lifted my tail up for him... Sure, it was another invite for him but I suppose he wasn't ready just yet... I guess we'd start all over if we would go at it again... Swaying my tail left and right in front of him got him hypnotized... But once he held on to my tail, he caressed it while kissing the tip of it... His hands firmly massaging it, feeling more sensitive the closer he got to the base of my tail... Licking, kissing, sucking on it... He seemed to have the time of his life... At some point though, I rolled over on my back and spread my legs for him as I gestured him to come closer... And when he did get on top of me, I wrapped my legs around his back and held his head close to mine... I used my tail to caress his balls for a while... I could feel his breath in my neck as I placed my hands on his back... I once saw in a porn movie how a female was jerking a guy off with her tail.... Thought he might like that, considering he had this tail fetish and all... It's just a lot harder than it looked like... Stroking his shaft with the tip of my tail made his penis twitch again... And once I wrapped my tail around it, it was difficult to actually jerk him off... Trying to do so tightened my tail around his dick... Maybe a little too tight... Of course I didn't want to hurt him but it was a lot harder that it looked like... Luckily, I started to get a feel for it after a while... I could hear him huffing and puffing in my neck and to please him like that sure was satisfying... I started play with myself a little because seeing him get so worked up over it made me a little horny as well...

'It's not hurting you, is it...?'

'Naaah... Oh man, that's awesome, Ceylan...'

'Hihi... Thought you might like that... I've got a few other things in mind that I can do to you...'

'I can hardly wait to see what you've got for me...'

'Let me be on top and I'll show you...'

I didn't had to say that twice... Once he rolled over on his back, I sat on top of his face and spread my pussy lips for him... Haha, wow... He wasn't even hesitating to dive right in... I can't blame him though, I'd probably do the same if a female got on top of me like that... I curled my tail around his dick again and gently started to jerk him off... It went a little wobbly at first but I suppose I'm a fast learner... My inexperience didn't stop him from having a good time though... There's nothing more sexier for a girl to a feel a tongue going up and down between her legs... Hitting all the right spots... But every time he made eye-contact, I could still see the lust burning in his eyes...

I knew I was gonna regret it... I wanted to stay put because he did an amazing job at pleasing me... But that's just me being a little selfish, I guess... I can return the favor in many ways... Giving blowjobs never really was the kind of thing I was particularly fond of... So I did the next best thing... Once I reluctantly stood up, I took a condom from out its package and rolled it down over his penis... When I positioned myself on top of him, I pressed my pussy lips against his hard on, going back and forth while I quietly whispered in his ear that I was taking the initiative for a change... I rarely ever got to be on top, mainly because I'm lazy and like it when others to do all the hard work... Hey, what can I say...? I'm still a feline at heart... Still, I was willing to make an exception once more, just for him...

When I finally let him get inside me, I moved my head closer to him and whispered all kinds of sweet words in his ear... Very slowly and very gently I was riding him... Holding on to his hands while making eye-contact and smiling at each other felt very special to me... And I thought that variation was the key in everything we did... Sometimes fast, sometimes slow... It's all in the rhythm... My bed starting to creak the moment I went a little harder, moaning quietly in his ear... I hate faking it or when other females fake it on me... Blain pointed out to me that some girls would fake it just to please you... It's something I never really gave much thought, to be honest... But he was right... I guess those quiet moans could be a little louder... And I was actually wondering how to sound genuine without him noticing that I was faking it... "How would I want to hear a girl moan during sex...?" Another thing I haven't put much thought in... I guess I would like her say my name... Heavy breathing and panting, making eye-contact while having a cheeky smile... A loud moan every once in a while... And definitely a bit of naughty talk... I never liked the idea but what's there to lose...? He knows he's doing a good job, might as well show him that... When I moved my head closer to him while I was riding him slowly, I whispered all kinds of things in his ear... How much I liked him being inside of me... That I aim to please him... But when I whispered in his ear that I wanted him to fuck me, his arms clenched around my back and he rolled me over so that I got down on my back... He held on to my ankles and pushed my legs back as far as possible... Blain seemed to have lost all of his common sense by the time he got on top of me... All he could focus on was to give me a good pounding... And if there's one thing I've noticed with him: he'll turn into fucking machine when you talk dirty to them... It's like this switch that get turned off in his head and throws passion, love and tenderness out of the window... All that remains is lust and the will to reach his climax as fast as possible... Needless to say, I did receive a good pounding... And by the time he slammed it in me, I wasn't able to focus on faking it anymore... Then again, I didn't really had much reason for... Getting fucked like that is quite intense... Apart from getting the big O, it's the only time when I'm not so quiet... And it didn't really take that long after that... With just one last slam, I heard him grunt and after several thrusts, he stopped and closed his eyes while wiping his forehead... It stayed quiet for a moment but when he did pull out, the two of us were looking at each other... He moved his head closer to mine and gently kissed my forehead while I caressed the back of his head...

'You just had to blow off some steam, didn't you...?'

'You should tell me if it gets too rough for you...'

'You'd know, trust me... I can't imagine you being so rough on my ass though... I probably wouldn't be able to walk for weeks if you did...'

'Hehehe...'

Blain sat upright and removed the condom while he used some tissues to clean himself... He tied the condom in a knot, wrapped it in tissues and tossed it in the bin... After which, he got up and grabbed two cigarettes, one of which was handed over to me... I grabbed a lighter from my nightstand and gave him a light once he sat down on the edge of my bed... The two of us were smoking and it stayed quiet for a while... It wasn't until we made eye contact again, the silence was broken by me...

'Satisfied...?'

'Are you...?'

'Don't know if you wanna have another go or rather go to sleep...?'

'What would you like...?'

'Hihi...'

That little giggle was enough for him to know that I wasn't quite finished with him just yet... He smiled at me when he moved closer to me and started to caress my hair...

'You know you're milking me dry, right? I'll be spurting fumes next time...'

'Haha! Hm... Surely you can still muster a drop or two...'

'Wanna find out...?'

'Sure thing, big guy...'

The cigarettes were stubbed out once we finished... Blain went back to the bathroom to clean himself up again and well, I just rolled over on my stomach, browsing 9Gag on my phone... I was so caught up with it that I didn't noticed he came back after a while... I snapped out of it the moment he placed his hands on my butt again, firmly massaging it... Getting your ass massaged is quite good actually... Especially when he lifted me up and positioned himself underneath me, just so that he could kiss my thighs and eat my pussy once more... His finger started to circle my butt-hole and everything started all over again...

When his finger went up my butt again with the appropriate amount of lube, it really didn't take that long for us to pick up where we left off... It was the quickest foreplay I've ever had, to say the least... Once I got on my knees, I lifted my tail up again... Giving him a choice made me feel in control... He started fingering my anus, just to loosen me up a bit... It was the only thing he took his time with... So it didn't really surprised me when he coated his dick with lube and rubbed that stuff on my anus... Getting it in without hurting me seemed to go a lot better than the first time... Then again, I'm also a fast learner... Gentle thrusts at first, getting the tip in and out slowly... Once he noticed I was relaxed enough, he slowly penetrated me deeper... It feels so unnatural and sensitive but maybe that's why I liked it so much... It's a whole new experience... Quite intense too... And there I was... Down on my knees, getting butt-fucked by my best friend after it's been on my mind for almost eight years... Was it worth the wait...? Definitely... And even though it still felt weird, I can honestly say it was a pleasurable experience... Things started to get a whole lot more intense for me when his other hand reached down between my legs and fondled my clitoris... It took a while for him to find it but hell, I wasn't complaining... By the time he did, I wasn't exactly quiet anymore... For some reason or another, he lasted a lot longer than before... I guess he was thinking about doing the dishes again, remembering that little trick he used to last longer in bed... I'm so glad that he did... Things started to heat up for me when I felt a certain pressure building up in my stomach... The kind of pressure I never felt before while being penetrated... And it's weird because it feels so much different... But the longer he was at it, the more intense that feeling became until only one thought was going through my mind... Focusing too much on climaxing never did the trick for me, even whenever I went "solo"... It's too distracting which only tends to lessen the experience and enjoyment... But that wasn't the case with me that night...

When you know you're about to reach your climax, you want to reach it as soon as possible... The thing is, I wasn't in control of it... He was, with everything he did... He denied me the big O earlier that evening but he was intending to make that up to me... With every thrust he gave, it became a lot harder for me to control myself... At some point, I planted my face in a pillow to muffle my moans that would otherwise wake up the entire neighborhood... Also, not everyone had to know that I had the time of my life... But losing control of your entire body is the best thing that can happen during sex... It's like you give up your struggle to last for as long as possible and completely surrender yourself... And that's exactly when it happened... All that build up pressure exploded all over my body, contracting every muscle in my body, feeling my pussy pulsating, squirting and dripping... But it also caused my anus to contract, making it even tighter for him... It only took a few more thrusts for him... The moment he came inside me, I heard that satisfied loud groan again... The two of us were panting and breathing heavily as Blain leaned forward to rest his head next to mine... For the first time in my life, I reached my climax through penetration... And it's the best kind of climax for a girl to have... It was the most intense pleasure I've ever had during sex... And I fucking loved it... I really did...

'H-Hah... Ah... Oh damn... I came...'

'So I've noticed... Hehehe...'

'Pfffffff... H-Hah... Hmm... Dude, that was... T-That was intense... Oh man, that was great...'

I still felt my heart pounding in my throat from all the excitement... But I've never felt so relaxed after sex... It took a while for the two of us to catch our breathes again... His penis started to soften up while it was still in my ass... Luckily, he was smart enough to take a few tissues when he slowly pulled out and wiping my ass before it got messy... After that, he went to the bathroom to take a quick shower to wash himself up... All I did was to roll over on my back and closed my eyes... And once he came back again, Blain flopped down next to me, looking quite exhausted as well... I turned sideways and held him as we both had our eyes closed...

'I'm definitely not constipated anymore...'

'Hehehe... Honestly, I think being each other's mate is the best thing we ever did... '

'Hm-mm...'

'Your idea, by the way...'

'I'm full of good ideas... And to think you were doubting at first...'

'You weren't too sure of it as well...'

'I suppose we pulled it off quite nicely then...'

'Yeah... Regrets...?'

'Well, yeah actually...'

'Really...?'

'We should've done this a long time ago...'

'We did, until we both fell in love with a different girl...'

'Yeah... Being in love... What good did it do to us anyway...'

'Hm...'

'Getting hurt is all there ever was to it...'

'Not to mention all the hassle it brings...'

'Yeah... She fucking ignores you all the time and when you ask what's wrong, she's like "Nothing"... Like you need to be a fucking psychic in order to find out what's wrong with her...'

'Hehehe... It's funny you say that with you being a girl and all...'

'It's called common sense... I honestly don't understand girls...'

'Haha, join the club!'

'But I guess it all eventually got us where we are right now if it all didn't happen... It made us find each other as mates instead...'

'It only took fourteen years but hey, better later than never, I suppose...'

'Hey Blain...?'

'Hm...?'

'Would you have changed anything between us if you knew what would happen...?'

'Naaah... You...?'

'No... No, I don't suppose I would... I wouldn't want it any other way for the time being...'

'As long as we stay on the same line...'

'Hm...'

'Don't you miss it...?'

'Miss what...?'

'Spending time with other females...?'

'Just as much as you do... Why do you ask...?'

'No, no, I'm just... I mean... What if you really do find another girl to be with...? What would that make me...?'

'You're the one who said things wouldn't change between us...'

'I know but...'

'I can ask the same thing to you... What would happen to me if you totally fell in love with another guy...? Or a girl for all that matters...?'

'I don't know...'

'I don't know either, Ceylan... I guess we'll just have to stop if that ever happens...'

'Just like that...?'

'Just like that... It's not like there's someone else at the moment...? I mean, you'd tell me, right...?'

'Yeah, of course... And I know you'd do the same for me...'

'Definitely... Perhaps our SO's feel like having threesomes...'

'Hehehe... So you'd invite me to play with your future girlfriend then...?'

'If she wants to...'

'I wouldn't mind... Besides, you'll need a second opinion anyway... I need to make sure she would take good care of you... Make sure she's hot though...'

'You know my taste in women...'

'Hehehe... Perhaps my future girlfriend would like that too...'

'Win-win either way...'

'What if I end up having a boyfriend...?'

'... Boyfriend?'

'Yeah...? Would you still consider it...?'

'Uh... I'm not sure...'

'Even if he would be okay with that...?'

'Seriously...?'

'Yeah...?'

'I think that if either of us do end up in a relationship and the two of us still want to spent some time together, we really need to take our time and openly discuss it with everyone involved...'

'And you think that would work...?'

'It's the reason why we need to stay honest in order to make it work...'

'Open relationships...'

'Yeah...'

'How can you even commit yourself to someone like that...?'

'We can't, that's the thing... If you really want to devote yourself to your lover, we'll have to stop doing what we're doing... It's a choice we'll have to make for ourselves when the time is there, just as much as we made our choice in becoming each other's mate...'

'And what if either one of us wants to keep the things we have and the other wants to devote to a new relationship...?'

'Then I suppose we'll have to let go of each other in order to stay friends...'

'Heh...'

'Ceylan... You're asking me questions neither you or me have an answer to... I can't tell what's going to happen...'

'I know, that's what scaring me a little...'

'We'll just have to stay open and honest about ourselves and to each other...'

'And open and honest towards those we want in our lives...'

'When it ever gets to it, yes...'

'IF it ever gets to it...'

'I think you and I just need to live day by day... You shouldn't get caught up with questions you don't know the answers to... It'll make you forget what this is all about...'

'Right... As long as we both know why we're doing this...'

'Exactly... Nothing will change...'

'I trust you when you say nothing ever will...'

'Alright...'

'Sooooo... Does this mean we're officially mates now...?'

'Hehehe...'

'Because I don't really like how that sounds...'

'Would you prefer calling ourselves "friends with benefits" then...?'

'I was thinking more along the lines of butt-buddies...'

'Haha! Well, you're definitely my butt-buddy...'

'Hehehe...'

I watched him fell asleep that night... Carefree and without anything to worry about, he peacefully fell asleep... I wish I could've said the same... Instead, my mind was more preoccupied than usual... And what had to be the perfect end to a great evening spending time together turned rather glum for me...

I got up from my bed and got dressed in my bathrobe when I started to feel a little chilly... Taking a cigarette and sitting down in the window sill would help me to ease up... But it actually had the opposite effect on me... I started to think about what we were doing and I was wondering if we weren't going too far with each other... We definitely took it way too far... But everything was the way I wanted it to be... So how come I didn't feel comfortable with the idea of us being mates together...? I had the answer right in front of me when I looked at him...

I was scared of things to come... Afraid of what might happen if the two of us kept doing this... I was afraid of things no one knew if it would ever come true or not... The idea that someone would get in between us was something I'd rather not think about... And even though we always said that things wouldn't change between us, things already changed the day we first brought it up... And it seemed pretty straight forward at first... Just a one-night stand to cross the line for once... But somewhere, deep down, I knew it wouldn't work for me... And I thought I could do it... I thought I was able to have sex with him without starting to have any feelings for him... But I guess I was wrong.. "Why don't you just tell him about your feelings for him...?" What if I did...? We wouldn't be on the same line anymore if I did and it would change everything we know about each other... He wanted to stay friends while I wanted more than that... And I'd rather lie to myself and deny my feelings for him rather to risk everything I have with him... So I thought it would be easier for us if I kept my silence... Truth was, it made it all so much more complicated by staying silent... He wouldn't know about it... But I knew...

I wanted him as a mate, of course I did... But now that I look back on it, perhaps I also did it to keep him with me... Just so that he don't feel the need to be with another girl... But what if he came across a girl who's got so much more to offer than I had...? A girl who truly deserves him...? More importantly, what if he fell in love with that girl...? What would happen with me if the feelings for that girl was mutual for him...? Sometimes I wish I could've been more to him, knowing that our friendship would change if I gave in to my feelings for him... Being sexually attracted to him wasn't the only reason why I went through with it... I guess it was also a way for me to experience something I knew I would never have with him... It was great, even though it was only for a few hours... But every time I saw him walking out the door and continued living his own life, I couldn't help but to think how I could ever fit in... Whenever we were hanging out together, things stayed the same... And whenever we had serious conversations, I sometimes felt the urge to talk about it... To talk about us, the future and everything we don't have an answer to... And even though I had the time of my life with him either as friends or as lovers, I couldn't help but to feel that we weren't on the same line anymore... Everything was fine on the outside but from the inside, I felt miserable because I couldn't predict what would happen to us in the future... I didn't know the answers... Pretending to be okay with it just to be able to live in a illusion... An illusion that was shattered to pieces every time he walked out the door... At some point, it started to hurt... And it hurt me more than anything to know that there was nothing else to it... The thing is, I could've stopped it... I could've stopped the illusion and snap back to reality by lying to him that I'd rather not wanted to do this anymore... But there was no one else who could fill up the void that I have felt before... And even though it really hurt to see him walking out the door every time, I wanted to go through with it... Simply because I got to experience something I knew I could never have with him, if only for one night... I had mixed feelings really... One did not outweigh the other... It made me happy and it made me sad at the same time... It's all wonderful and pleasant yet excruciating and painful at the same time... It confused me and made it so much more complicated... And perhaps I really was blowing things out of proportions again and had no reason to feel this way... Nevertheless, I still felt that way about it... I was hurt every time he left... But I suppose it's something I chose for myself when I told him I wanted him as my mate... To be considered nothing more than a "butt-buddy"...