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"If you ever try to contact me or my family again, I will _fucking_kill you."

BoJack leans back, taking another big gulp of vodka. And then gin. He waits patiently for the ding! of his new laptop, sitting next to the pool.

The message comes soon enough: "bUckLikeFuNnies886: she said that ~ ?"

He types fast, sending, "Yeah."

Another ding! "bUckLikeFuNnies886: you sholda locked yer door man."

BoJack nods to himself, before typing a longer reply. "I know! Then Charlotte wouldn't hate me. It's not like we even did_anything. I wasn't going to _do anything with her. She was a seventeen-year-old girl!"

"bUckLikeFuNnies886: it's not ur fault."

BoJack takes a deep breath. He glances back toward his house, where Todd appears to be doing handstands just for the heck of it. The large, brown horse types his reply. "You're a good friend, Buck. I gotta say, everyone else I've told this story to says I'm a gigantic asshole and I deserved it. I knew I'd find someone on the internet who agrees with me."

BoJack looks at the indicator that bUckLikeFuNnies886 is typing, ears held forward. A long message finally appears with a ding! Reading through the message, he takes another swig, his ears going flat. "bUckLikeFuNnies886: no way man. that charlot bitch asked you to stay there, and her stupid daughter came on to you. she led you on; id have fucked the daughter without a second thought."

BoJack wipes his mouth, putting down the bottle and closing the lap top a little too hard. "Just great, BoJack," he declares to himself, letting out a big sigh. "You finally find someone who doesn't blame you. Happy now?"

BoJack places his hands on his head, standing up with his eyes clenched shut. "What are you doing?" he asks himself. "You've got a good movie coming out, good friends, and people like you! Why can't you forget about New Mexico? It's been four_months!_ Why can't you just be happy for once in your damned life?"

Nobody answers. BoJack is alone, the sun slowly setting over the Hollywoo Hills.

He stares over the railing, but he sees something else entirely. He sees his friend, Herb, saying "Now get the fuck out of my house!" He sees Diane stiffening from his kiss and walking wordlessly away. He sees Wanda telling him "I can't be around someone who's just fueled by bitterness and negativity!" He sees Charlotte Moore - no, Charlotte Carson - slamming his boat door in his face.

Tears begin to fall. He can't help it, but no one is around to see it. BoJack sobs to himself, "They're all right about me. Everyone who gets to know me knows the truth. I'm not a good person." He punctuates each word with a slight pause. "I'm not a good person!"

His ear flicks, the sliding glass door opening behind him. He pops his head up, wiping away his tears with the same motion. Todd says, "Someone's here to see you, BoJack."

He clears his throat. "Who is it?"

"She didn't say. Some deer, I guess?"

BoJack spins around. "Charlotte...?" He stumbles forward, pushing past Todd. The front door is open, but no one is there. "Where is she...? Where?"

Todd drops his jaw. "She was there a minute ago."

He glances around the house and notices that the door to his room is open. "Todd, wait here."

"Okay," his friend says, stopping in the middle of the doorway with one foot still in the air.

He doesn't wait, half-running to his bedroom. "Charlotte?" he asks the doorway. "What -" When he walks into the room, he has to look twice. She looks so much like the girl in his dreams. But this deer has green eyes and brown fur. "What are you doing here?"

Penny stands there, wearing her usual pink dress, turquoise shit around her neck, and the small triangular brooch around her neck. Beside her is carry-on luggage that is brimming so full there was no way it could fit in the overhead bin.

"I left, BoJack. I'm so sick of it there. Mom _refuses_to talk about what happened. I...you left in the middle of the night, before I could say goodbye." She holds her ears flat, glancing upward at the tall horse.

"You shouldn't be here, Penny. Your mom -"

Penny cuts him off, putting two fingers up to his lips. "Doesn't trust me to make my own decisions...just like you don't. I'm an adult, BoJack. I'm eighteen now and I know what I_want_."

BoJack pushes her hand away. "You're just a kid. Penny, I'm_fifty-one_ years old. How did you even get here?"

The teenager brushes past him, closing the bedroom door. BoJack starts to protest, but she says, "My parents think I'm at a friend's house in Utah, but I hitched a ride here. I'm not going back. You're the only person who ever treated me like a person, and I know you're just too much of a coward to admit that you want me too."

"Penny, no. That's not it," he protests, reaching clumsily for his phone. He was sure he could glimpse Charlotte's number through the shattered screen eventually. "Go back to New Mexico."

Penny snatches the phone from his hand, tossing it on the floor. "Look, I know it's not normal. But I'm not normal, BoJack, and you sure as hell aren't. Is it so hard to believe that I actually like you? What are you afraid of? That I'll actually make you happy?"

BoJack puts a hand to his head, massaging his growing headache. "Your mom's never going to believe I had nothing to do with this. She's going to kill me."

Sitting on the bed, Penny pats beside her. When BoJack stays put, she says, "She doesn't own me. I'm not going to go running to my room anymore. This is where I want to be."

"This is a huge mistake, Penny. I don't even know what to say."

"Say you'll do it," she says, standing up and batting her eyes. She slinks forward and puts a hand on his waistband. Placing her other hand on the growing bulge of his crotch, she says, "Say you'll fuck me." With her hand pressing against him, she stares up into his eyes, smiling. She always did have the best smile.

He kisses her, this time without hesitating. Her eyes close and she opens her mouth, tilting her head for him as his tongue pushes into her mouth. "God, Penny..." he gasps.

Her hands go to the button on his jeans, and he doesn't try to stop her. He feels the relief as his pants are unfastened, his cock straining at his insufficient underwear. Gently but repeatedly, Penny tugs on Bojack's jacket, pulling him forward until her butt was pressing up against his bed. She sits and leans back, saying, "Let me see it."

BoJack takes a deep breath. "You look so much like your mother."

"Shut up, BoJack," she says simply.

He lets out his breath, gazing down at the beautiful teenager he'd gotten to know for two months during one of the happiest and unhappiest times of his life. He knows it is wrong. He knows it is a mistake. He slides his hands down to the elastic band and slides his underpants down.

Penny's eyes widen. "That's no banana! Jesus."

She leans forward and takes his fat cock in her hands, but she can barely reach all the way around with both hands. BoJack groans and closes his eyes. He hears her licking her lips, and then she says, "You don't have herpes or anything, do you?"

His eyes pop open. "Uh...I don't think so..."

"Good," she says. "I don't want to get canker sores."

"Penny, wait - " he says, but she knows better than to let him finish his sentence. Instead, she noses forward and extends her long, wet tongue to the tip of his swelling cock, slurping upward. BoJack shivers and puts a hand on her shoulders as she starts to lick him.

"Saltier than I expected," she says between licks.

"Is...is the the first - ?"

She nods, then twirls her tongue around the depression in his flat tip. "God that feels good," he groans.

"Then how about this?" she asks, standing up a little higher to press her lips against his head. He watches with wide eyes as the eighteen-year-old doe pushes herself down on him, spreading her muzzle wide as each inch of his swollen pink cock disappears inside her mouth. Her cheeks are bulging now, and it is all BoJack can do to stop himself from humping her throat.

She can't take more than half of him anyway before he's _thumping_against the back of her throat, but she bobs up and down, letting her warm saliva coat his entire length. BoJack grits his teeth, feeling his dick stiffen until its full fourteen inches display proudly. His black balls churn, getting ready for the inevitable.

Smack, smack! Her tongue slurps loudly as she pulls herself off of him. She smiles at the white cream pooling up on his tip, and says, "How was that?"

"Nnngh..." he neighs.

She pulls a condom out, and it says XXL. She has to struggle with it, but the wrapper finally opens, and she laughs, "Ready to see my trick?"

"I'm not sure those are big enough."

She places the condom at the front of her mouth, holding it in place with her teeth as she lines herself up once again with his cock. BoJack shifts himself so that he's pointed straight up, and whinnies as she bobs her head down. He can feel the tight plastic slipping down his cock, and she quickly reaches the end of her line. Pulling back, she smiles to see that the entire condom was on.

Not that it covered him entirely. XXL only reached half-way down his horse cock. "You need Quadruple X," he says. He is out of them.

"It'll be fine."

With that, she hikes up her pink dress, revealing her purple panties. "I...I'm ready..." she says, betraying her false bravado.

"We don't have to -" BoJack starts.

"I want to."

He sees that she does. The purple panties are darker and wet at the crotch. He can hardly believe it as he picks the doe up and places her on her back on the bed. With his help, she slides her dress off onto the floor. BoJack kicks his underpants and pants off, still wearing his checkered blue shirt and jacket. He climbs over Charlotte's daughter and says, "God, you're hot."

She smiles up at him, her freckles only making her appear even younger. His hands reach for her white bra, the small cups barely necessary. Penny shivers as his big hands reach behind her and unfasten the support, tossing it to the side. "No one's ever seen me this way," she gushes breathily.

"They're missing out," he promises. His hands slide down to her panties, the thin cloth positively dripping now. She bleats softly and spreads her legs apart as he cups her. Then, with one inquisitive finger, he pushes the thin cloth to the side, revealing her pink slit. She looks even tighter than Princess Carolyn. "This might hurt," he warns.

"You'll be gentle right?"

"Yeah."

She grits her teeth and sets her jaw, ears flat. She stares at his half-covered cock, now just a few inches from her tender pussy. "Then do it. Make me a woman."

If ever there was a time to put a stop to this, now is not the time. BoJack takes a deep breath and presses his fat tip against her quivering entrance. The condom only makes him thicker as he pushes forward, meeting resistance immediately. Penny cries out as he starts to wedge his huge dick into her, a loud, wet _pop!_sounding as he squeezes inside.

"Oh, BoJack!" she whimpers, her hands on his arms. Her lips are stretched wide, but he's only gotten a few inches deep. He wants to whinny like a stallion and start pumping her, but he goes slowly, jabbing another inch deep, until he hears her gasp.

"I'm about to -"

"Do it!" she whines. "I know it'll hurt, just get it over with!"

Holding his breath, BoJack does as she asks, pushing harder and harder until suddenly, she gives way. He sinks two more inches into her, still only a fourth of the way down his cock. Penny squeals.

"Are you okay?" he asks, heart racing.

"Urrrrg..." she says. "Just...give me a second."

The time gives BoJack a chance to reflect on what's happening. He has just popped Penny's cherry. There is no taking that back. Charlotte will never forgive him for this - not that she was going to forgive him for almost doing it four months ago. She's so tight he has to bite his lip to keep from dumping his nuts then and there.

"O-okay..." she gasps. "Go."

He doesn't need to be told twice. Like a racehorse leaving the starting gates, BoJack grunts and pushes forward and back, hammering the young doe against the bed so that it squeaks loudly. She wraps her legs around his back, moaning and squeezing down around him. "You're so huge!" she shouts.

"Hung like a horse," he says, making a horse pun that never appeared on Horsin' Around.

She starts to bleat again with each thrust, and BoJack slides a big hand to engulf her small breasts, which only makes her arch her back and rock her hips harder. "Oh, BoJack, I love you!" she gasps.

He knows better than to say that too early, so he just grunts and pounds away, hammering in until the edge of the condom disappears inside the deer. She places a hand on her stomach, feeling how he makes her bulge. Her wails increase in pace and pitch until she can't hold it back anymore. She drops her jaw and squeals, shuddering and clenching down around him, her warm fluids engulfing his wrapped cock.

"Nnng!" he gasps, and joins her, unable to stop himself as his balls convulse, his tip flaring wide. His ears perk up at the sudden loud rip! and he freezes. "Shit, that's the condom!"

He starts to try to pull out, but she wraps her arms around him. "Don't you dare!" she gasps. "It's...it's okay...!"

"But -"

She takes a deep breath, letting the words spill out quickly before she dissolves into another moan. "It's not 'deer season', so to speak."

BoJack whinnies, letting his bare tip flare against her innermost wall. With a heavy thrust, he plasters her insides in his fertile cum, pumping past the tattered condom to drench her tight cunny. She bucks up and down, legs spread so wide they are cramping, but she doesn't care. She's in another world, another city, another house, and she finally feels like she is home.

He bucks back and forth, drilling the young teen into his bed until the sheets are crumpled beneath her, and his face contorts as he grunts, lost in the moment. Penny moans, reaching up with both hands to pull herself up to him, kissing him for the second time.

Balls churning, BoJack keeps clenching and unloading into the young doe, filling her taut tummy until she is bulging before the first gush spills out of her onto the bedsheets. He always needs to wash the sheets. Rivulets spray out of her, his last few spurts showing just how much he must have poured into her nubile womb.

Penny smiles, panting and bleating for air, while BoJack gasps, sweat spilling down his forehead. "God, Penny!" he neighs. "I...can't believe...pant...we just did that!"

Ears flat, she licks the side of his face, and BoJack smiles, pulling Penny with him as he rolls onto his side. They hold each other, BoJack's flared cock still pressing up against her bulging chamber, until both fall asleep.

When BoJack wakes up, he is still inside her. He blinks, remembering what he's just done. "Oh, shit," he says in a whisper. "What did I just do?"

Charlotte will kill him when she finds out, and what will Diane or even Todd think when they find out? He can't really be happy with an eighteen-year-old. They have nothing in common! He should break it to her gently, explain that he's made a mistake and that she should go home and forget this ever happened.

Penny flicks an ear and opens her eyes. She smiles, even more beautiful than before. "Still want me to leave?" she asks.

"N-n-no..." he replies too quickly.

"You were thinking about it, weren't you?" she asks.

BoJack swallows, his throat feeling dry. Somehow, she knows him so well and still wants to be with him. He sighs, and says, "Yeah, but not anymore. I don't care what they'll say, Penny. I want to be with you and you want to be with me and nobody can stop us!"

"That's the spirit," she says, reaching down to grip his hefty black balls. "My big, brown stallion..."

"Again?" he nickers. "But I don't have any condoms."

She pats her swollen belly. "Bit late for that. We'll get some tomorrow."

* * * * *

BoJack and Penny spend everyday together, despite objections from Diane and Princess Carolyn. They are just jealous, really. BoJack and Penny are really in love, and the unusual couple express that love...frequently. They order delivery and watch T.V. (old episodes of Horsin' Around) and fuck each other senseless.

BoJack never gets around to getting condoms from the store, but it doesn't matter. She isn't in season, and half the time they are trying something new and strange in bed. Somehow, he forgets condoms while buying lube, which they go through faster than milk.

"Why don't we go to your restaurant for dinner, instead of ordering in?" she asks.

"Princess Carolyn says I shouldn't show you around while I'm still doing promotionals for Secretariat," he explains. But when the show opens, and no more shows are lined up, he still doesn't go out with her. The time for Penny to return from her 'friends in Utah' comes and passes - Charlotte has no idea where her daughter is. BoJack keeps expecting that call, but it never comes.

"BoJack, we're going out," she growls.

"Come on, Penny, I'm not...not feeling well today. I just want to lie around the house. Won't you...lie around with me?" He kisses her, and she kisses him back.

Two weeks pass, but nothing changes.

"You're embarrassed of me!" she accuses, stamping her foot.

"I am not. I'll go out with you, it's just..."

"Just what?" she says with flat ears.

"There's a back room at my restaurant where we can eat privately. Okay?"

"BoJack, I want to be seen. What's wrong with you?" she says, holding her arm.

"But...Char..." he stops himself, but it is too late.

"Mom? What about her? Are you too scared she'll find out? She's not going to kill you, BoJack."

BoJack looks away from her. "I know that, but if she finds out..."

"Then what? She's already mad at you."

"But -"

Her eyes flutter open wide. "You - you're still in love with her, aren't you?"

"What? Nooooo..." he says.

"I can't believe this. She was right. You don't like me, you just want the next best thing."

"Charlotte, stop. I mean Penny," he stammers, his hands up.

"It's true, isn't it? You want me to be her!"

"No, no!" he gasps.

Her eyes fill up with tears. "Well, fuck you, BoJack. Do you ever tell the truth? I thought you were real, but you're just as fake as all the rest of them." She sniffs. "I can't believe how stupid I've been. I'm leaving."

BoJack tries to stop her but nothing words. Pleading, lying, begging, but she is packed and out the door. "Penny, wait!" he yells. "Let me drive you home!"

She tossed her head, lugging her carry-on behind her. "I'd rather hitch."

BoJack sits on his bed, alone. Todd has been missing ever since that ominous letter arrived in the mail for him. His phone lays next to him. The tears start to fall. "I have to," he says softly, picking up the phone. It's a number he never expected to dial again.

"Hello, Carson residence?"

He recognizes her immediately. "Ch-charlotte..." he gasps.

"Who is th - BoJack?"

"I...I'm sorry."

He already hears her growing anger. "I told you not to call me aga -"

"I know. And I didn't want to, but...but I made a huge mistake." BoJack puts his head into his hands, holding the phone in the crook of his neck.

There is silence on the other end of the phone, then a sharp inhalation. "Oh my God...Penny!"

BoJack nods, even though she can't see him. "She came to my house -"

"When?"

"Two weeks ago."

"And you didn't call until now?" She gasps. "Oh,Jesus, BoJack, tell me you didn't..."

BoJack can't say it.

"I can't believe you!" she screams. "I'm driving there, now."

"No, wait," he stammers. "She's on her way home."

There is a pause at the other end. "So...she came to her senses."

BoJack closes his eyes. "Yeah."

"How is she getting here?" Charlotte says with a little restraint.

"Uh...she's...hitching?"

"And you let her do that? Fuck, BoJack, you aren't content trying to ruin my life, now you're trying to ruin_hers?_ Tell me you at least used a condom."

BoJack winces. He sort of did...once? He says nothing.

At the other end of the line is a heavy sigh, and then a click. She is gone.

BoJack sits on his bed, watching the shadows that his window blinds make on the opposite wall. He doesn't know how much time passes. Todd is nowhere to be seen, nor heard. He isn't hungry. He isn't sleepy. He just feels numb.

The phone rings, and he answers it without thinking. His ear flicks as he expects to hear Charlotte's voice berating him once again, but it is Diane. "Hey."

"Hey, BoJack. I was just wondering if...if maybe you wanted to have dinner tonight? With me and Mr. Peanutbutter. You can bring Penny if you want."

"No."

"You sure? We're making Moroccan food, but Mr. Peanutbutter forgot to buy olives. You could get some on the way? We'd really like it."

"No, that's...that's fine, Diane. I...uh, we're just going to stay in tonight. Don't really feel like going out. You just...enjoy yourself, okay?" BoJack says, not moving from where he sits.

"Okay," she says. There is a pause. "You know, BoJack?"

"Uh huh?"

She takes a deep breath and the words spill out. "At first I thought you and Penny was crazy, but...I think she really makes you happy. You shouldn't lose that. When I was crashing at your place, I was miserable and alone, but now that I'm back with Mr. Peanutbutter...everything's just a little brighter, you know? So what if she's half your age. If you love Penny, and she loves you...who cares what anyone else thinks."

"Yeah, Diane. You're right."

"Okay, bye. Talk to you later!"

BoJack is still sitting. His shadow on the wall doesn't move except for the rising and falling of his chest. There is no sound in the big, empty house. Just BoJack.

"Yeah."

Click.