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37.

My time with Hash was over too quickly. He told me to stay strong and that he would definitely see me wednesday when the Green Horizons classes began. Having to leave him felt worse than anything Piter had done to me. Making love to the coyote was like winning the lottery. Walking with Jake back to the prison doors was like watching that lottery ticket get ripped up.

Jake and I didn't speak as we walked down the gravel track but as we reached our door I could see Dimitri wasn't waiting for us. "Where is he?" I asked and got no response from the red fox.

Dimitri had a way of standing out in a crowd. You could tell when he wasn't around. I shrugged and turned to suggest we go in, but Jake already had that idea and was walking away from me.

I hurried to catch up. I'd been in here for a while, but suddenly not having the big tiger next to me made everything ten times scarier. I could feel the eyes of every predatory inmate on me. Jake stealthily fell in behind a small group of canines for protection. They didn't notice as I did likewise.

We broke off when they passed H-Block, the two of us rushing up the stairs to avoid run ins with any of Piter's pack.

I let out a deep sigh when I made it to Dimitri's cell in dual relief at making it unmolested and seeing the big tiger was there.

"Sir, where were-"

"Shut it," he growled at me. "Pets don't speak."

What? My jaw snapped shut. He was mad about something. All I could do was look to him, silently pleading for an explanation. He pointed at my corner and I sank into it, hugging my legs close and resting my head on my knees.

I watched him out of the corner of my eye, afraid to even make eye contact when he was like this. He put on his headphones and I was all but forgotten. Hours crept by under the constant threat of Dimitri getting bored of television and turning his unpredictable anger on me.

"I hope that fucking outburst was worth it," he said with a snort.

I whimpered involuntarily. He still had his headphones on but I knew that was directed at me. Did he expect me to slavishly start obeying Vince too now? Or was this about me not jumping at his command to follow Greg? Either way, it made me angry at how unjust it was. I didn't do anything to deserve this.

I was reaching a breaking point. A fox could only live under the constant fear of pain and death for so long before it started to lose its potency. I could live with being Dimitri's pet and fuck toy, but I was not going to be his mindless zombie. He could not expect me to give up feelings. He knows I care about Hash, even if he has no idea how deep those feelings run. Why wouldn't I have worried about my coyote?

My head jerked up. I realized my ears were up too, and the fur on the back of my neck was starting to bristle. I took a chance and looked at the tiger. He controlled me in every way but it still wasn't enough for him.

But one glimpse at those bulging muscles, one look at those hands strong enough to snap my neck like a twig and I knew my anger was wasted. I was pathetic next to him. Anyone could see it.

My head drooped back to resting on my knees. The dark clouds of despair gathered.

Then, just as I was at my lowest, I remembered what Jake said to me about not needing to be the strongest or fastest. I was a fox, damn it. Speciesist or not, we always were know for our intellect and how clever we are. It was time for me to start living up to that stereotype.

I closed my eyes and concentrated, running through every scenario I could think of to get Dimitri's mood to draw back from the murderous edge of the spectrum.

I ruled out talking my way out of this. I couldn't speak fast enough to calm him before getting beaten to a pulp for disobeying him again. Sex was risky. He might be convinced to fuck me if I got naked, but it would be more than obvious I was manipulating him. He would not like that at all.

I had to be more subtle... Got it!

My hand slid next to me, discreetly teasing a sheet of paper and my pen from my box. Careful not to move more than I had to I started to print in big, clear, block letters. It took me awhile as I chose each word with great deliberation and wrote without drawing attention to myself, but it was finally done.

I glance down next to me, reading and rereading it a hundred times. It was as good as it would get. I agonized a few more minutes over whether or not to fold it. I went with not.

Now came the tricky part. I had to get Dimitri to look at it without crumpling it outright. My brain sifted through its options. None of them were good, but I think I'd settled on the most promising approach. I swallowed my pride and put my plan into action.

Clutching the paper between my teeth, the writing facing out, I slowly shifted my legs until I was kneeling, looking toward Dimitri and willing him to notice me. Just let this work, I prayed to a universe I wasn't sure was listening, you owe me.

On my hands and knees I inched forward. Dimitri's head swiveled and I froze, dropping my gaze to the floor. The fraction of a second I saw his face it looked pissed. My muscles tensed and my tail curled between my legs. Seconds passed and I wasn't yelled at or hit. I took it as tacit approval and crawled onward.

The note was yanked from my mouth giving me just enough time to fight down a yelp before Dimitri's foot pressed to my shoulder and with all the effort of kicking a stray feral, pushed out sending me sprawling against the wall.

I scrambled back to where I started, shrinking into a tight ball, trying to watch Dimitri out the corner of my eyes again. He didn't ball it up and shove it down my throat, so that had to be good, right?

He was looking at the paper. He kept looking at it for almost as look as I spent writing it. I held my breath.

He took off the headphones and looked at me and I cringed. "This first word..."

I pulled my legs under me, getting up on my knees and clasping my hands together in front of me. With my best puppy dog eyes I looked up at him.

"Please?"

My head bobbed in an enthusiastic nod. He looked back at the paper again. I sat back on my heels watching and hoping.

Finally he looked at me. "Please... don't be mad at me?"

It was fucking poetry. The only word I could not reduce to something with fewer letters was please, but he nailed the rest. I nodded fervently enough to risk whiplash.

The big tiger sat there not saying anything. His unreadable expression began to crack. "I'll be goddamned," he whispered. "I fucking read that."

Barely. But I'm a fucking awesome teacher apparently. My tail wagged. Not just for his accomplishment, but for mine. There was no way he could still be angry at me when I distracted him with how useful I could be. I opened my mouth and gave him a strained expression, my tail still thrashed wildly, then snapped my mouth shut.

Dimitri tried to look annoyed, but a smile kept threatening to smash his stoic facade. "Speak, boy."

"I knew you could do it, sir!"

"Yeah. Well..." He looked away and I was sure he was hiding a big grin. "I'm still pissed at you for being difficult in front of Vince like that." He patted the mattress next to him and there I was in a flash, leaning into him and letting his arm wrap around me to absently tell me what a good boy I was. "And don't think you're still not going to get punished."

My eyes narrowed. This would not do. Maybe I would have accepted this as a victory yesterday, but not today. "S-sir? Can I say something in my defense?"

"You may. But tread carefully. You do not want to dig your hole any deeper."

I swallowed hard. The rational part of my mind screamed for me to shut up and take what I was given, but the remnants of the old Elliot Regal would not be silenced. "I- I'm not sorry for what I did." Dimitris hand that had been caressing my arm paused, I hurried to clarify as its grip began to slowly and deliberately tighten.

"I am sorry I didn't trust you right away. I know you'd never want to hurt me," fingers crossed, "so I should have followed right away, but I was scared. Hash means so much to me, just like you. If you were the the one who I was afraid something happened too, I- I would have stayed right there until Vince told me what happened," my voice cracked. A mix of real emotion and the nearly paralyzing fear that my newly remembered sense of self worth was about to get me killed. "Even if a guard told me to go, I would have stayed for your sake! I only left because I do trust you. I was just scared." My voice caught and tears leaked every time I tried to blink them away.

It was no use trying to go on. My voice had become a shrill whine punctuated with gasping sobs.

His grip loosened, but he didn't let go. "Regal," he said my name. Even in his gruff voice it sounded soft and soothing to me. "You should have listened to me. It's not your place to worry about anything other than yourself and how to please me. But, I guess, under the circumstances, I can let this one slide." His arm pulled tighter but not in anger. "Would you stop shaking. It's making me feel like an asshole."

I choked out a laugh. Relief settled over me like a warm blanket. It had been draining, but I think I'd pulled it off. In my own foxy way I'd stood up to Dimitri, asserted my own influence over my fate. It was so freeing. I missed being my own fur.

He held up my note with his free hand. "I fucking read this," he couldn't hold back a smile. "How fucking cool is that?"

***

That evening, after the guards took a headcount and opened the common area to us, I began to get restless. Watching a small TV with no sound while getting felt up was a fine way to pass most evenings, but my body was still high on endorphins after making love to Hash and taming Dimitri's rage. I wanted to celebrate.

"Sir?" I tapped his arm when a commercial came on.

He lifted the headphones off one ear.

"Can I go check on Jake? He's got that thing," I still didn't like talking too directly about what it was we were forced into doing, "and maybe if I'm there to see him off, maybe... they'd know not to do anything too rough." My reasoning fell apart, so Dimitri's confuse stare was justified.

I flexed my nonexistent muscles. "Because I'm so intimidating since I started working out with you." I grinned, letting my natural charisma do the work.

Dimitri chuckled. "Go. But stay on the walkway, and if you start shit with anyone, you'll have to deal with the consequences."

I jumped up and leaned in, giving the big tiger a quick kiss on the cheek. He grunted and pushed me away, but without any malice. He knew everyone in H-Block was aware I was under his protection. And after he broke Herb's fingers, I don't think anyone but Piter would risk messing with me.

I took a quick couple of steps and stopped when I was out of view. I wasn't really in a hurry to check on Jake. The red fox would still be mad and the silent treatment would likely continue. One battle at a time, I told myself. Let me get through today and I'd work on smoothing things out after he'd had time to settle down.

I leaned on the railing and looked down on the common area. It was starting to fill up. Piter and his gang were playing cards. I tried not to dwell on them, but I recognized the husky's back and I thought back to all those video games where I played a sniper...

The rodents table was nearer the wall mounted television and they sat riveted by some show about a ventriloquist cop. It looked stupid but at least it took their mind off things. Next to them were the scalies. I heard there was a growing animosity between them and the rodents, but the scalies were equally enthralled by the silly show. I couldn't help but sigh and the stupid arbitrary differences that kept us at each other's throats and made a bad situation worse.

At the other end of the common area sat the felines. I saw Sanders and Styen were there, playing checkers as usual. The panther spotted me and waved, prompting Sanders to turn around. He motioned to me and bellow, "hey, Regal, come play a game."

I shook my head sadly and pointed at Dimitri's cell with a shrug.

Sanders nodded and shrugged sympathetically. My sense of accomplishment flickered like a weak flame. I turned away, wanting to protect that feeling by telling myself it wasn't that Dimitri ordered me to stay up stairs or that Piter would hurt me if I got too close, it was because Jake was my top priority right now. I almost made myself believe it.

My knuckles clinked on the bars to Jake's cell. He was sitting on the lower bunk, just staring at the pictures taped to the opposite wall above the cell's table. His cellmate, a possum, was on the top bunk reading thick book. I knocked again, and the possum lowered the book.

"Mind if I come in for a sec?" I asked both of them, but Jake still didn't give any indication he was aware I was there.

"If you must," the possum said and went back to his book.

I walked in. Jake blinked and looked away from the pictures as I sat down next to him. There was little point in trying to talk so I just looked at the pictures he'd been staring at.

I zeroed in on the one of him and a wolf, there arms around each other's shoulders, both wearing souvenir shirts for the concert they appeared to be at. Jake looked so happy in that photo. I knew that had to be the boyfriend that talked him into smuggling drugs. Jake said he was dead.

The red fox shifted uncomfortably. He looked annoyed and jerked his head toward the door before leaving. I followed. Jake leaned back on the rail and folded his arms across his chest, purposefully not looking at me.

"Would it help if I apologized," I offered.

He shook his head no.

Of course not. I sighed and just stood next to the bitter fox. I had no idea what Sanders saw in him.

***

Within minutes I caught sight of two furs making their way down the walkway toward us. I stretched my arms, loosening up to look intimidating.

The taller one was an ibex. What would have been his impressive curving horns were cut into two plateaus that rose from a sea of course light brown hair. His shorter cellmate was a stout solid looking raccoon, only a few inches taller than me but much more imposing.

The raccoon looked up at his cellmate. "The red one, right?"

Fuck you.

The ibex nodded. "That's what the Pack said, Ron."

"Good. It'll be hard enough getting it up with your ugly ass watching me."

The ibex scoffed. "Don't flatter yourself." Then he looked at Jake and licked his lips. "I am going to tear that bitch up."

I stepped forward, blocking their way.

The ibex towered over me. "You got a problem?"

Many. Foremost right now was my nerve deserting me. "Only if you're going to hurt my friend. If Jake comes back in pain, you're both going to regret it."

The raccoon, Ron, poked my chest with his finger. "Big talk. You think you can back any of it up?"

"N-no. But Dimitri doesn't like it when someone abuses his foxes."

The two furs exchanged a look. "Hey, no need to blow this out of proportion," the ibex said hastily. "Like I said, Ron, I can't wait to give him a respectable fucking that we'll all enjoy."

Jake walked past me. He looked back and raised his eyebrows. I couldn't tell if he was surprised or impressed, but whatever he was expressing, it was not more anger. As soon as the three were down the stairs out of sight my legs wobbled. I grabbed the railing to keep from falling. Fuck, that was too close. I think I was starting to push my luck. As soon as I could catch my breath I intended to get back to Dimitri's cell before I did anything too stupid and assert myself to a fur who'd call my bluff.

I was about to leave when my attention was grabbed by a noise coming from a nearby cell. I tried to place it. Thumping, grunting, heavy breathing... sex? It wouldn't surprise me, but what did surprise me was that it came from Herb's cell. I had a good idea of what that fat asshole panda sounded like when he was getting off. It even featured in a few of my nightmares. But this wasn't just him making noise. There was a strangled crying that punctuated his self congratulatory pillow talk.

I moved closer. The arrogant jerk didn't even bother hanging a sheet over the bars. Getting a look at what was happening made me want to vomit. His pants were around his ankles and his wide hips were thrusting his small cock into the face of an obviously hurting fennec.

The fennec had only been in cellblock-H for a few weeks, his transfer arranged by Piter somehow so he could compete with Vince who was attempting to monopolize the cellblock's prostitution. The fennec was being held from falling over by Herb's tight hold of his hair. With every thrust of the face fucking the panda was administering I could hear the fennec's head knock into the concrete wall, followed by a whimper and a gurgle.

My fists clenched and I stomped back to Dimitri's cell. He glanced up at my arrival, immediately taking off his headphones.

"What happened?"

Was that concern? "You said I could pick a fight with someone. Can I still do that?"

He nodded.

"I want to get Herb."

***

"No, no, no," I quickly found myself protesting as Dimitri started to get up. He was talking about getting a shiv from Styen, telling me how he'd distract the guards and where I was supposed to jam the sharpened metal into Herb. Weird how he indicated the exact spot Ron had poked me.

"You can do this, pup. Just slam it in hard. You need to break through the sternum."

"No! I- I want to try it my way."

He stood there, concentrating on me like he had the letter. "You're... going to let him rape you until I have to step in and kill him?"

"No. I'm not getting raped and I'm not killing anyone. I love how you're teaching me to defend myself, but do you honestly think I could stab someone? Let me try fighting like a fox." I pointed to my head. A gesture I thought would have been self explanatory.

Dimitri scratched his chin. "You're... going to give him head and hope he has a heart attack?"

I started to explain, coming close to one of those rare instances I could lose my temper with Dimitri. Then he cracked a smile, and started laughing. A deep booming laugh that if you didn't know what it was, could be quite intimidating. Not funny.

"Vince had this idea to get Herb to snitch on Piter and let the husky handle the dirty work. I think I want to try that-"

"No fucking way."

"But why?" He didn't even give it a few seconds to sink in.

"I told Vince no. How would I look if I changed my mind like that? As I recall, you were nearly pissing yourself at that idea."

No I wasn't! "It's different this time. I know I can do it. You showed me how much a fur can accomplish when he sets his mind to it." And how much I can endure.

Dimitri looked away. For the second time today I think I made him blush.

"I'll plan it all out so I won't get hurt. Pleeease," I whined.

"I'll let Jake be the bait," he said.

Unacceptable. "But it's my fight. I can do it! You've taught me a lot. After he gets the note off of me I can get away from him this time."

He sat back down. "I'll think about it."

"Thank you so much! I prom-"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Dimitri said. "Why don't you demonstrate some of that foxy intellect and find a way to put your mouth to better use."

"Yes, sir!"