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POKEMON MAYHEM

EPISODE 5

Evil Director: Hello. Welcome back yes, no. Narrators? *looks around* Nope hahahahaha. Why you say? All that came and tried out were killed. So today I'll be doing this stuff. Oh, yeah, I the Director has change my name to Evil Director, but I will be shorting it to Evil. So lets see should I do a recap Hmmmmm nahhh. If you can't remember just go back and read a little bit of the last one. Let's see I think I'm going to have some interesting guests. Today's guest stars are Tifa (WOO-HOO), ONHMB- some guys that might show up and not be in this listing, and last and not least The Voice of Reason. I bet he's happy to be back.

VOR: FUCK YOU!

Evil: Oh..kay never...mind. Well anyway lets start the show.

Today on Dragonball Z... No no no wrong show. Lets try this again.

Evil: Well in the last episode everyone was ask if they wanted to go home, but for some reason they wanted to be sent to the Pit of Very Unspeakable Things.

Earl: Wait I thought it was the Pit Of Death.

Evil: Yeah, but I was told it was already taken and I needed to change it.

Earl: Okay, but what about the other episodes?

Evil: Well since they just told me, I was told that they would let it slide.

HAHAHAHA, What idiots.

Producer #1: WHAT DID YOU SAY!!!!!

Evil: OH SHIT!!!

The Evil Director is being hauled off by his neck kicking and screaming for his life.

Earl stands there confused for a sec and just laughs at him.

Earl: I guess I should take over. I just hope he can escape them this time.

Well I just look at today script...??? HEY WHERE THE FUCK IS THE SCRIPT!!! OH SHIT IT'S...

Before he can finish he hops on his Harley Davidson and is chasing after them.

In The Pit of Very Unspeakable Thing.

Cast member: HELP OWW DON'T PLEASE DON'T STICK AAAAHHHH NNNNNOOOOOOOO HHHHHHEEEEEELLLLLLPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!

We're sorry about the delay, but for circumstances not under our control we must unfortunately wait for their return. In the mean time here is some music by Styx.

I'm sailing away... set an open course for the virgin seas. 'Cause I've got to be free, free to face the life that's ahead of me.

Evil: *Cough*Hack* Okay I'm back oh man that was bad I taught those pieces of shit to touch me. Goddamn it, turn off the music. Earl might be delayed a little longer.

ASH: HEEEELLLLLPPPPP!!!!!!

Evil: OH yeah I guess my pets want out, okay.

Everyone is now on the set, but just then without hesitation Earl ride past and takes Ash's Mom.

Earl: *Evil laughter* HAHAHAHA!!!!!

Evil: That was really... disturbing. Oh well back to the....

Ash: WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'OH WELL'? WHERE THE FUCK IS HE GOING WITH MY MOM!?!?!?!

Evil: Damn Ash settle down.

Ash: FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU ALL. *Evil laughter* BWAHAHAHAHA

Evil: That's it, time for my new trick. Medic!

Doctor Crusher comes out and gives Ash a hypo-spray.

Ash: BWA aha blah blah stars phasers the SHIT.

Evil: Should it take that long to take affect?

Crusher: No, man I'll give him another.

Ash: The looms lalalladff The FuCk Holy Bile dole the *mumble* lokey

the help.

Evil: GOD FUCKIN' DAMN IT, SOME HELP YOU ARE!!!

Evil pulls out a RL and blows Crusher up and brings out Brock.

Evil: Can you put happy boy out for a while?

Brock: I'll try, but I want a good part okay.

Evil: Don't worry I've got a good part for you. Even if you didn't do this.

Brock: Cool, but this time I... Wait are you going to kill me again?

Evil: Do you think I'm that cruel?

Brock: Do I have to answer that?

Evil: No... This will be a nice scene and you'll be happy after it.

Brock: Okay, good.

Brock pulls out his trusty tranquilizer gun and loads it and fires at Ash.

Ash: The crap haha feel my pow-yer.

Director: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HOW COME HIS NOT GOING DOWN!!!!!

Brock: Hell if I know, but I gave it my best shot.

Evil: Okay my turn.

Then Evil pulls out a Big Sledge hammer and hits Ash repeatedly in the head till his down.

Evil: HAHAHA where you fail I will succeed.

Bones: He's dead Jim!

Kirk: Like I care!

Evil: Opps.

Brock: Opps? Opps? You killed him!

Evil: Oh well he'll be better dead till Earl brings back his mom.

Just then Tifa walks in and sits on the Evil's lap.

Evil: (shocked) Hello nice LADY!

Tifa: Huh? What's wrong with him?

The Director Picks up Tifa and hops in his limo. Evil throws Brock the script and then head off. There's a note attached to the script.

It reads, "Brock, sorry I don't have time to explain, but here's a quick note by me. You're in charge now. So have fun I bestow the power I have upon you. Thanks I knew you be happy with this gift."

Brock: THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!!!!! I DON'T WANT HIS SHOW I WANT TIFA. I'LL GET MY REVENGE!!!!!!!!

In the limo the Evil pulls out a small box and ask Tifa something.

Evil: Tifa, will you... marry me?

Tifa:???......

Evil: ???Tifa?

Evil then looks around and finds out Tifa is missing.

Evil: Where the fuck did she go?!

Brock: Now this is the life.

Tifa: Would you like to go have a little private time? *Wink* *Wink*

Brock: WOO-HOO

Brock and Tifa goes in a room and put a sign on the door saying "Do not disturb" A few minutes' later moans can be heard. All of a sudden the Evil drives in and walks to Brock's Room.

Evil: Hey Brock the weirdest thing happened I was proposing to Tifa then... *Stunned silent* Holy FUCKIN' SHIT.

In front of him was Tifa and Brock have sex. Then Evil starts clapping.

Evil: *clapping* Nice work you finally got laid.

Brock: Hahaha... Hey Evil you're back early... Ohh this well let me explain.

Evil: Don't worry about it. Say Tifa would you have said yes? About marring me?

Tifa: Yeah... but now I want to marry Brock. He's a good fuck.

Brock: Really..???

Tifa: No! Not really I just was being nice.

Brock: *Crying* Your so mean... *Runs out of the room*

Just then a mangled up Ash walks in.

Ash: Rah ninja the frong mo jo I brains NICE LADY!

Evil: Wow!!! ???Ash you're alive??? Man I think you need a medic. MEDIC!

Recorded message: We're sorry, but the medic is out of circulation. Please hang up and yell again.

Evil: Ohh yeah I killed her.

Ash then walks in the room and rips off Tifa's head. Everyone is now pissed off. Everyone on the set (but Ash) pull out a RL and fires till Ash isn't even ash.

Everyone: DIEEEEE!!!!!

Brock then walks back in his room in time to see a headless Tifa. Brock starts running around insane, yelling.

Brock: NNNNNOOOOOOOO TTTTIIIIIFFFFFAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!

Evil: Damn, that even worst then death.

Evil runs to a room and on the door say "Lab, Do not disturb" Then all sorts of weird light can be seen around the outer part of the door.

Brock: NNNNNOOOOOOOO TTTTIIIIIFFFFFAAAAAA!!!!!!

M.M.: Hey I'm here???... *See big fuckin' gaping hole in the floor of the set*

Hey what happened... Hey Brock...Nice Head...less bo...dy.

Brock: NNNNNOOOOOOOO TTTTIIIIIFFFFFAAAAAA!!!!!!

M.M.: That's... Tifa NNNNNOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Who Did this?

Everyone says Ash and points to the Big Fuckin' Gaping hole. M.M. then pulls out a RL and adds to the hole. Then Evil comes out of the Lab.

Evil: STOP MAKING FUCKIN' HOLES IN MY SET!!!!! Anyway moving right along I have done it. The answer to this problem.

*Phone rings*

Evil: Hello?

Earl on phone: Would the answer to the problem be a rocket launcher?

Evil: I wish it was, but unfortunately its not. So gather around and behold.

Brock, M.M., VOR, and on speaker phone Earl and Ash's Mom: So get on with.

Evil: I have cloned Tifa.

Evil walks out of the way and everyone see Tifa naked Everyone who looking explode and re-materialize.

Evil: She still has the touch.

Then the song "you've got the touch" by Stan Bush starts playing.

You've got the touch... You've got the power... Yeah. After all is said and done...

Evil: Okay, okay, stop the music. I like that song but... *hands Tifa some clothes*

Everyone Cheering: Yeah. Whoo-hoo, Welcome back Tifa.

Then out of the Lab another Tifa pops out naked.

Evil: Ohh SHIT! I forgot to turn off the machine.

Evil run in to see a room filled with naked Tifa He explodes and then re-materializes and gets to the machine turning it off. Evil runs out of the room and takes a star fleet combadge and teleports the room on the USS Enterprise. The Ship explodes but does not re-materialize.

Evil: Yep that going to piss Kirk off.

Kirk: No I wasn't on it, but at least you killed the damn pointy ear bastard.

Earl on Evil's cell phone: Hey I'm having a great time... So how's Ash taking it... Ohh wait his dead... HAHAHAHA

Ash's ghost then appears and grab the Phone

Ash: WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU, YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!!!!!

Then all Ash hears is a click and then starts floating around going insane.

Ash: NNNOOOOO!!!!

Then everyone pulls out RL's, fires on Ash's ghost, and it gets blows to bits.

Everyone: You are not taking Tifa's life again you ASS!

Ash's ghost pieces fly up and there are now hundreds of mini Ash's

Evil: AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Then he wakes up and realizes that was all a dream.

Evil: Man that was sca...

As he looks up he see Hundreds of mini Ash's

Evil: AAAAHHHHHHH!!!! *Pulls out the biggest RL and blows them to nothing*

Evil: Man I'm hungry I think I'll go get lunch.

He walks out of he's trailer and puts on the door a sign saying *be back in fifteen minutes*

Just then a guy with glasses comes in and sit in Evil's chair. Brock come over and starts talking to him.

Brock: I don't know who you think you are, but if you don't get out of that chair you'll regret it.

Person in chair: I don't regret anything I do. Now get me a soda or die.

Brock: FUCK YOU!

(The person in the chair will be know as PIC standing for person in chair)

P.I.C.: WHAT DID YOU SAY, YOU'LL PAY!!

P.I.C. pulls out a whip and hit Brock with it. Brock grabs the whip and hit him with it. This exchange of the who whips who goes on for five minutes. Them M.M. walks in and starts talking to Brock.

M.M.: Hey Brock-o what's up?

Brock: This guy in Evils' chair is hitting me with his whip and won't stop.

M.M.: Oh Really? We'll just see about that.

M.M. turns his attention to the P.I.C. , tells him to leave, or he will be removed.

P.I.C. starts whipping M.M. and laugh telling them to bow down before the Digimon Emperor.

M.M: I don't care who you are buddy boy you're going down.

M.M. pulls out two RL and gives him one last chance to leave, but he just continues to whip the shit out of them.

Brock: That's it.

Brock then pulls out his tranquilizer gun and shoots Ken in the head, balls, and up his ass Ken falls asleep. Then MM with the two RL's blows him to fuck "holy" bits and pieces. Then Evil walks back to his chair totally ignoring the big hole and pieces by it.

Evil: Did I miss anything while I was gone?

Brock: No, not anything that doesn't normally happen when you are here.

M.M: Yeah you know the normal stuff.

Evil: Ohh...Okay... *Evil now is having a facial tick and his head spins slowly around once*

M.M: I think we'll just go over here.

A man walks in with some props and is blown away by Evil.

Brock: Who was that?

M.M: That was Bob the stagehand.

Brock: Was he important?

M.M: Not anymore. If he was well he knew the consequences when he took the job and knew he world or could be killed at any minute.

Brock: How come I haven't seen him till now.

M.M: He usually stayed in the back of the set, away from the danger.

Brock: But...

M.M: That's enough questions. Well I think that's the end of the show for today. If you didn't get a part in today episode consider yourself lucky. Well... we had a great show and poor Ashy-boy might be back in the next episode along with Earl and Ash's mom. Well good-bye.

Just then ONHMB run in on the set asking if he's to late, but fail to see the holes in the set and gets blown up by his own missiles.

Evil: Lalalalalala star D muk oh PORNO!! o the pain makes it...

M.M: Let's hope he's back to his normal self in the next episode as well.

If you like today's episode, Thanks. If you didn't Well FUCK YOU GO TO HELL YOU CAN GO SUCK ON A MONKEY'S NIPPLE!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHA. See you on next episode of POKEMON MAYHEM.

LET IT END SOON!!!! I want to get to the finally. FINALLY HO!!!!

JUST THEN A GIANT PORNO MAGAZINE WALKS IN. Everyone starts screaming.

Cast member: OH NO... IT'S PORNZILLA!!!

M.M: HOLY SHIT IT'S HUGE!

((FIN))