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The next day had come around, and Jesse was out getting stuff for our first official date. I wasn't exactly sure what she was getting, but I was certain that it'd be something nice. Jesse seemed like the kind of girl who knew what she was doing. For the most part, anyway. She had that know-it-all nerd sense, if you know what I mean. So I had high hopes for whatever she had planned.

We both ultimately decided that a stay-at-home date would be best, since we didn't want a repeat of the day before. It would also be more private and personal that way, with no room for distractions. The last thing I wanted was for our lovely real date to be ruined because some hyena woman decided they wanted to try stealing me away.

And to think, yesterday had been going so well. Until my femboy experience was cut short by a big ol' bimbo bitch. I thought I could maybe drive her off with my alluring charms, but it turned out that she was suffering from chronic ass-a-hole-ism, which doesn't go so well with alluring charms. Or Jesses for that matter. And so like an overgrown baby, she started having a temper tantrum, insulting my dear friend.

Little did she know, knuckle sandwich was on the menu, and I was there to serve it.

Do I feel bad? Kind of. But then I remind myself that she broke the most important rule of Jacob Longway: no one fucks with my friends.

She even had the balls (boobs?) to refer to herself as a 'real yeen', whatever the hell that meant.

So of course, I do what I usually do when I get confused and looked it up. Turns out, another big difference in this universe is that a lot of the wording had changed. A yeen, for example, was like the equivalent of a man, I guess? Except it meant woman here. So a hyena woman is called a 'yeen', with the plural being 'yen'. Yeena was the male version, and I guess it was supposed to be the equivalent of the word 'woman', but it meant 'man' here, with the plural being 'yenna'. So a hyena woman is a yeen and a hyena man is a yeena.

Did you get all that? Good, 'cause I already forgot. It seems like nothing was right in this… Yeeniverse.

Hey, that has a nice ring to it. The Yeeniverse. I should just call this place that from now on.

And so now that the Yeeniverse research had concluded, I decided that it was about time I had my morning cup of coffee. I started the process of getting it ready, only to be interrupted by a knock on the front door. I paused my coffee-making and went to open it, only to be met with… my agent?

“Sam?" I said in surprise.

She smiled, her hands behind her back. “Hello, Mr. Longway."

“What are you doing here?"

“I thought I'd come check up on you. What, am I not allowed to see a friend?" She looked past me, into the apartment. “May I come in?"

“Uhh, yeah, sure."

I opened the door wider to let her in. She took in her surroundings, eyeing up the place I now called home.

“So… this is the place?" she said after some time.

“Yep," I answered.

She looked around a little more before speaking up again. “Not what I would have gone with, but that's not for me to decide."

I went back to the coffee machine so I could finish making my cup.

“Shall I make you a coffee? Or maybe some water?" I offered.

“Ah, no thanks." She waved her hand.

Once I finished making my coffee, we both sat down at the table, across from each other.

“How have you been, Mr. Longway?" she asked.

“I told you to stop calling me that."

She chuckled. “Right, Jacob, how have you been doing?"

I sighed softly. “All right, I guess."

“Are you happy with this place?"

I looked around. “Yeah, it's nice. It's all I need."

“Are you sure? We could always get you something nicer if you want."

“No, it's… It's fine. I'm real happy with this place," I assured.

“That's good to hear." She took a moment to think before speaking again. “And what about Mrs. Standwell? Has she been treating you all right?"

I nodded. “Yeah, she's cool."

“She hasn't done anything weird or creepy, has she?"

My mind flashed back to one particular moment, where a certain someone wasn't wearing a certain piece of clothing.

“Uhhh… Not that I can think of…?" I lied. Not that what happened had bothered me, anyway.

She exhaled, closing her eyes. “That's a relief. There have been a few times where humans have been… assaulted, by hyenas. Even female humans."

I took in what she said for a few seconds before responding. “You make it sound like that sort of thing happens often."

“That's because it does," she stated bluntly.

Jeez, that wasn't… good. I knew humans were quite a thing here, but I didn't think it'd be taken to that extent. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. With how rare humans are, there are certainly gonna be some nasty people out there who'd want a piece of us for being unique. I'm just glad Jesse wasn't like that.

I scratched my head. “Well… Jesse has been very kind to me so far. She hasn't done anything to make me uncomfortable. Or anything bad, for that matter."

“Good."

We sat there quietly for a few minutes, the ticking of the clock being the only thing breaking the awkward silence. She looked like she wanted to say something, but was hesitant to do so.

“You're… acting a little strange, Sam. Is something up?" I asked.

“Err, no, It's just… Hmm…" She looked away, tapping her claws on the tabletop.

I sat there for another minute while she contemplated whatever she wanted to say. Why was she being so awkward? It's like she was about to tell me my parents were dead or something. Not really something I'd expect from a gal like her.

“You're here for another reason, aren't you?" I finally brought up.

She let out a sigh. “Yes… you're right. There is something important I need to talk to you about. It's quite a heavy topic, so I'll try and explain it as gently as I can." She cleared her throat. “Over the last few decades, as I'm sure you are aware, the human race has had a steady decline in birth rates. This is… not good, as you can imagine. The HPA are trying their best to preserve your kind, but unfortunately, not all of the humans in the world fall under our care."

I picked up my mug to take a sip as she continued. “And so to help with this problem, we were wondering if you would consider… donating some sperm?"

I almost choked on my coffee.

“I— What?" I blurted.

“A sperm donation," she said with a little more conviction. “It would mean… masturbating into a cup, which we'll use to inseminate another human." She gestured with her hand to suggest another option. “…Or, if you prefer, we could set you up with someone."

I wiped away any residual coffee left on my lips using the back of my hand. “Would… anyone even be up for that?"

“Oh, definitely. I'm sure it wouldn't be too hard to find a female human who would like to… you know, partner up with you."

The sudden idea of free sex did sound appealing… but I didn't really wanna hook up with some random stranger that the government decided I was best for. I also didn't want to betray Jesse, even if we were technically not dating just yet. I was no cheater.

“I don't think I wanna do… that, with someone I don't know," I admitted

Sam nodded. “I understand. Sperm donations are always viable, that way you won't need to do anything with anyone."

“I don't think I really wanna do that either, Sam."

She slammed her fists onto the table. “Why not? You only need to—" She closed her eyes, putting a hand up. “Sorry. It's just… Don't you care about your people? They're dying…"

“Of course I do, but I'm… I don't think I'm ready for kids."

“That won't be something you'll have to worry about. You can leave all that stuff to us. We'll take care of them for you."

“But… I would still want to see them, you know? Since they are my kids."

“And you'll be able to, of course. We aren't going to keep them away from you."

The idea of having kids was not something I imagined having this early. I mean, I wasn't completely against it, and I suppose it was around that time where I was the right age to start parenthood. But… I just wasn't ready for it. And I doubt Jesse would be too keen on the idea, since we haven't even started properly dating yet. The kid would have to be raised as an orphan, and the last thing I'd want for the child I'd bring into this world is for them to be raised without parents.

Sam saw me thinking about the prospect and sighed. “Would you perhaps consider it if we compensate you? Monetarily, that is."

“I don't know. How much would I get?"

She scratched her cheek. “It depends, but we are willing to give… let's say, ten thousand for each cup?"

I once again, almost choked on my coffee. Ten grand for a single cup? God damn. That was absurd. I could buy all kinds of shit with the money that would make. I could pay off my student loans (if I had any) just by nutting into a jar.

I know I wanted a job, but 'professional cummer' is not what I had in mind.

“My, uhm… sperm is really worth that much?" I asked.

“Yes."

I held my head for a moment. “Okay… And what about the poor girl who ends up getting pregnant? That's not an easy thing to go through."

“Ah, well…" She gave a smirky grin. “I'm sure she'll be fine. We yen are strong; we can handle it." She made a show of flexing her arm to prove her point.

It was easy to forget that women were seen as the stronger sex here, but did that also apply to humans? If they're anything like the humans back home then the human girls should still be girly, right? Or were they gonna lean into their masculine side from the influence of hyenakind? I guess that's fine, but they better not expect me to start acting all girly, 'cause that ain't happening.

Her statement also made me wonder about something else, and so I asked Sam herself.

“What about you, Sam? Do you have kids of your own?"

“Uh… No, I don't. why?"

“Would… you ever want them?

“Uhm, well… I can't. I'm infertile," she admitted.

Oof. Way to go, Jacob. Trying to win the 'asshole of the year' award, I see.

“Oh… Uhm, sorry," I apologized.

She shrugged her shoulders. “Ahh, it's fine. It sucks, but what can you do? This isn't about me, anyway."

Infertility was either a curse or a blessing depending on how you looked at it. For the people who don't want kids, it's like permanent birth control. You won't ever have to worry about getting pregnant from some random dude, or if you're a guy, make a random girl pregnant. On the other hand, it must suck greatly for couples who want to be parents, knowing you can never have children of your own blood. Sam seemed to be neutral about it, though she may have been putting on a stoic façade to make me feel better, for all I know.

“Okay… And what if I decline? Are you guys going to force me if I don't?" I questioned in fear. I knew that it was unlikely, but I also know that government bodies tend to do some horrible shit when they're desperate.

Sam looked a little surprised but also sad. “No, of course not. We would never force you to do anything against your will." She leaned in a little closer. “But I'm begging you. Please consider what this can do for your people."

I rested my hand over my face. “I… I don't know, Sam."

“I know that this is a hard choice to make, especially for a young boy like you. But we need all the help we can get."

Another minute of silence passed by as I thought about the situation at hand. Sam stared at me, waiting for a choice to be made. I think she knew she was being pushy, since she looked regretful about how hard she was going at me. I couldn't really blame her for it, because what she was being pushy about was important. I mean, we're talking about the possible extinction of the human race here, who wouldn't be pushy about that?

Before I could make any kind of decision, she spoke up. “Listen, I understand this isn't something you can decide on a whim, so I'll leave you to think about it." She stood up from her chair. “I only want what's best for you and your people, Jacob. I hope you understand."

“I do…"

“I'll see you again sometime. If you ever feel like you've made up your mind, you only need to call me." She held the doorknob, before smiling at me one last time. “Have a good day, Jacob."

She closed the door, leaving me alone in my apartment to ponder. I thought over everything she said. About the declining birth rates, having my own kids, the help that it might bring to my people…

Fuck, this was just too much. Why did I have to be the one dragged into this shit? I never asked for this. I just wanted to have a good time, hang out with Jesse, forget about the worries of being in a universe where everyone treats you like you're a hot commodity. Now I have to deal with the fact that in a few decades, all of humanity might go extinct. I thought it would be easy to ignore, but I guess I was wrong.

And I thought this day would be nice…

*****

“Hey, I'm back!"

“Hey, Jess."

A few hours had passed and Jesse had come back with a few bags of goodies in each hand, ready to set up the date. She looked pretty excited about the whole ordeal, until she saw that I was in a somber mood, and dropped to a more worried tone.

“Is… Is something wrong?" she asked, slumping a little.

“Uhh, no. But, uhm…" I got up from the table I'd been sitting at ever since Sam left. “What do you think about having kids?" I faced her directly

She furrowed her brow. “Kids…?"

“Yeah."

“That's… I thought you said you wanted to go slow," she said jokingly.

I couldn't help but put a little smile on my face after that comment. “Ha ha, no, that's… that's not what I meant."

“Okay, well, what did you mean, then?"

“It's just that… you know… Would you ever want to have kids in the future? Not with me specifically, but, like, in general."

She looked away for a moment, thinking. “Uhm… Maybe? I haven't really given it much thought. Besides, I don't think humans and hyenas can even make babies together."

“Well, we could try~"

Seems like my skills in flirtation were as sharp as ever, if her cute fumbling was anything to go by. The power of my flattery shattered the confidence of any female. But in the good way, of course.

“Heh… U-uhm, so I got what we need for this, uhm, date…" She held up her bags, giving an awkward smile.

“Nice, what'd you get?"

She set the bags on the table. “It's a surprise," she said with a flair, using jazz hands.

I put my hand on my hip, tilting my head. “Aww, not gonna tell me?"

“Nope. You'll see, okay?"

“All right, then"

Jesse hurried me off into another room so she could prepare… whatever the hell she was preparing. She got quite a few bags, so I supposed it must have been something extra special. How thoughtful of her. She didn't need to go to such lengths to please me, but at least it told me that I caught a big fish.

I waited for a little while just browsing on my phone, when finally, Jesse came through the door looking excited as ever.

“Someone looks happy," I said.

“Heh, yeah… I guess I'm a little excited."

A little was an understatement. She led me back into the Living Room where the table had a red tablecloth draped over it. A few candles lie in the center, giving off a pleasing aroma. Hey, is that vanilla?

“Wow, this is nice, Jesse."

“Heh… T-thanks."

We both seated ourselves at the table across from each other as Jesse asked me something.

“So what brought up that question, anyway?"

“What question?"

“The one about having kids?"

“Oh, right. Uhm, nothing. I was just… wondering."

“…All right, then."

I don't think she even believes it was nothing. I mean, I probably shouldn't have brought it up in the first place. I was still trying to get my mind away from the whole HPA-sperm-donation thing.

Now that I think about it, do you reckon there are e-boys here that make money by selling their cum in a jar? Kind of like gamer girl bath water? Wait, that would be a bad idea, wouldn't it? Some crazy bitch could decide to impregnate themselves with it, causing some… legal issues.

Well, whether or not it happened, I didn't want 'gamer boy cum jar' in my search history.

“So… Is there any food?" I asked

“Oh, uhh… I probably should have made some…" she said, looking embarrassed.

“Ahh, it's fine. I'm not that hungry, anyway."

Her smile returned. “But I do have…" She reached under the table to grab something. “…This!" And pulled out what looked like a bottle of…

“Champagne?"

“Yep!"

I smirked. “Don't you usually drink wine on a date?"

“Well, yeah, but… with all the extra money I've been receiving, I thought I may as well go all out?" She shook the bottle a little. Enough to emphasize, but not cause a fizzy overload.

I rested my cheek on my hand. “Not sparing any expenses for me, are ya?"

“Nope." She picked up a corkscrew to open it, but looked unsure. “But, uhm… How do I do this?"

“Oh, uhh… You use the corkscrew to drill into the cork, then pull it out."

“Okay." She drilled into the cork of the bottle using the corkscrew, getting real deep. But when she tried to pull It out, she seemed to be having trouble. “It's… It's not coming out."

I got up around Jesse to help her. “Here, lemme—"

The sudden pop of the champagne bottle was all I heard as the backhand of Jesse's fist hit me in the face. It wasn't enough to knock me over, but it hurt like a bitch.

“Agh! Fuck!" I yelled, covering my face.

“Oh my god! I-I'm so sorry!" I heard her drop the bottle and cork onto the table as she rushed over to me.

“Damn, Jesse. You should have told me you were a world-class boxer," I muttered.

“I-I'm so sorry, I-I-I didn't mean to!"

“I know, babe, just…" I uncovered my face so I could see again, causing Jesse to let out a gasp.

“Your… Y-your eye!"

“What? What happened?" I scrambled to the bathroom mirror. My reflection stared back at me with a swollen, purple bruise covering an eye.

“Oh shit, wow." I leaned in closer, pulling at my eyelid. “Hah, wow. I look like an abused spouse."

“T-this isn't funny!"

“Come on, it's not a big deal."

“But it is a big deal! I-I mean, I hit you and… oh god." She held her head with her arm as she went into panic mode.

“Jesse." I grabbed her by the shoulders, looking straight into her eyes. “Calm the hell down. All right?"

“O-okay."

I had to keep reassuring Jesse that I was fine. Sure, she may have clobbered me in the face, but face-clobbering was a great way to build face strength, so you could face more face-clobbering in the face. And I faced it like a man. I mean, I needed to save face somehow.

All right, I'll stop.

The rest of the date went without a hitch, for the most part. We went back to drink the champagne that we almost forgot about. It'd be a shame to waste it, after all.

For a lot of the time, Jesse was trying to hide the fact that she was staring at my black eye. Although black eyes themselves aren't something I'm really worried about, I was worried about what people would think if they saw me. They would probably think that Jesse hits me, which, I mean, wasn't untrue, but still. She wasn't intending to backhand me in the face. Maybe if I joked about it, people would stop caring.

Oh yeah, my girlfriend hits me.

Okay, no, that just sounds bad.

After nearing the end of our date, we ended up putting the rest of the champagne back in the fridge, as I didn't exactly wanna get shitfaced today. I mean, the last time that happened I got teleported into another universe. The Yeeniverse. I have a love-hate relationship with this place. On one hand, Jesse. On the other hand, fucking bullshit.

I helped pack away all the stuff as the date finished up. I was pretty satisfied with the whole thing. Jesse really went all out on it. Well, to the most that she could, anyway. And that was enough for me.

“That was a nice date, Jesse," I complimented.

She moped. “But was it really? It kind of sucked…"

“Ah, well, I liked it. You were even thoughtful enough to get me a gift." I pointed to my bruised eye.

She sighed. “You're never gonna let me live that down, are you?"

I grinned. “No." I also let out a shrug. “But hey, we all make mistakes. It's what makes us human. Or, err, hyena, in this case."

She looked away. “Yeah, well… I was a real mistake tonight."

“A mistake, huh?" I guided her muzzle using my hand, closer to my face. “Well you're a mistake that I love."

Our lips pressed against each other for the first time, and at that moment, I didn't think I could be any happier.

---

Professional Cummer is a serious job.