FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

It had actually been some time since Leo went out to chop wood. A bit humid for it at the moment. Nothing Leo couldn’t handle. The process was strangely fun as well, triggering all the little instructions in his head to cut things up into nice, even pieces. However, there was an itch at the back of his mind, like someone was watching him. He glanced back on the end of the next swing, only finding forest. Maybe there really was a fog monster. Leo glanced back at the house. Or maybe there was a nosy monstress watching from the window.

Every so often Missy would peek through the window blinds, her eyes barely illuminated by the sunlight. Two long fingers would pry open the blinds, those orbs would come into view, then it’d snap shut. He had to admit it was somewhat unnerving. It could have been downright scary were he not aware that Missy was probably watching some terrible movie, gorging herself on cereal in the process. Still, he hoped she didn’t do that to passerbys. Leo would have to explicitly tell her not to do that, if she’d listen.

Leo realized that having a monster stare at him from a distance had become a norm. He was just casually chopping wood as something from his nightmares gawked at him without a care in the world. If someone had told him a few months ago that he’d be all buddy buddy with an imaginary friend he had long forgotten about, he’d probably tell them to see a psychotherapist. And yet, there she was. Leo himself most likely needed the therapist. Letting her in. Letting her stay so long. Letting her have her own room.

The man had all but forgotten about her, shoved to the dark corners of his mind, and now they were the odd couple. Leo stopped and looked at the window. The blinds quickly snapped back into place. How could she slip from his thoughts so easily? His parents certainly denied that she had ever existed. Reasonable, he suppposed. The real world wasn’t filled with Wolficuses and it was easy to say that a young man going around talking about his monstrous friend certainly wasn’t good for anyone, least of all himself. Maybe it was just too easy to chalk it all up to imagination. Everyone had an imaginary friend. Missy became his.

That probably partially explained why his childhood was foggier than he’d like it to be. Unless something worse happened that he didn’t remember. He glanced up again, noticing the blinds close once more. Missy would have definitely spilt the beans on something terrible like that, to add a dab of depression to their life story. Unless she did it. Leo stared at the log of wood in front of him. Nah, she couldn’t have done anything bad like that. He split it in two, completing the last of the firewood. After arranging all those chunks into a neat pile, Leo wiped his hands clean and headed back inside, only to be greeted with a strange sight.

Missy sat at the dining table. In front of her was a wine glass filled with pink lemonade and a hot pocket. Opposite to her was much of the same. Her shirt had spatters of water on it, making it cling to her. Washing dishes? “Welcome back, have a seat!” she said, presenting the chair to him. Leo furrowed his brow and took her invitation.

Leo sat there for a few minutes in silence before working up the energy to ask, “What is this?” He forgot he even had those microwaveables, let alone that they were still good. In the background Missy had set it to play something that sounded like elevator music.

“A nice lunch,” she replied, swishing the glass about.

“I liked it when you cooked, you know.”

“I didn’t know how long you’d be out there.”

“Well, thanks. I guess.” Leo shrugged and bit into artificial breaded pizza thing. It was warm.

“So uh, you know, I have something to tell you.”

Leo swallowed. “Yeah?” Not sure what else she could break.

“I’ve been really happy here,” she started. Leo raised an eyebrow. “I don’t think I really said how nice it is to be here. Ya know. Next to you. Especially at night.” She nibbled on some hotpocket. “So thanks!”

The man blinked. “You’re welcome,” he said with a smile and a nod. Good to see it wasn’t all for nothing.

Missy crooked her head. “Uh, anything else?”

“Mmm, nope, no that’s it. You’re welcome.” He tapped on the plate. “I guess you nuked these pretty well too.”

“Yeah.” She tore into it. “I did.” Missy stared off at nothing in particular, leaving Leo to notice that her clothes clung a little too well. While her fur hid most of the enticing parts of a wet shirt, small nubs still poked through the sopping wetness. Didn’t he buy her a bra for this very damned reason? He was about to chide her for that, then realized how embarrassing that would be. Then he realized how embarrassing that was in general. “Well, I got something else to say too.”

“Yeah?” Leo automatically responded, snapping his attention elsewhere.

Missy took a drink. “So uh, you know how I said that like, you know, I was uh, with other guys—” Leo held up a hand. “No, no, c’mon this is important.” Yeah, sure. He rolled his eyes. “That wasn’t true. I mean OK it was kinda true, but we didn’t go all the way, you know? Just some stuff... I mean, we did a little bit of— You know what? Forget it.” Her ears flattened.

“I kinda figured that.” That took all the wind of out of Missy’s sails. “You’re not the best at keeping a story straight, you know?” He glanced over at the television, still playing that elevator music. “Why’d you tell me?” Of course he knew why, not that he really needed to have her past explained to him.

“No real reason.”

Leo rubbed his temple. “Look, Missy, we need our space apart. I’m not getting you out because I hate you or I think you’re some sort of pest. We’re going to go crazy if we’re together all the time. You get it?” He put on a comforting smile. “You’re going to like your own room, really. I’ll still be around, that’s not going to change.” Leo had to stop and appreciate just how surreal the situation was before adding, “I’ll get you a good TV too. For your birthday.” If you behave.

The monstress hummed and leaned over the table, squishing what chest she had against the surface. “Alright, but you still have to be careful with my night brooding.”

Leo chuckled. “Yeah, sure, I’ll keep an eye out for that.”

“Thanks.” She continued to nibble on her meal. “Blegh, these things kill my stomach.”

“You alright?” It certainly tasted alright for what it was.

“Yeah, I dunno, these things just never work out in my guts. Tasty though!”

“Wash it down with some lemonade then.” Leo was already hard at work thinking what could be the issue. Good distraction from other features. Cheese, most likely, considering the thing was bursting at the seams with the stuff. She was probably lactose intolerant and didn’t even know it. Now whether that was part of her anatomy in general or she grew into it like humans, he sure couldn’t tell. “Are you sure you can have lactose?”

“I’m not some kinda weakling who can’t have milk.”

“Would explain the gut problems.”

Missy paused and her eyes slightly widened. “Hey, you know what, I think you’re right. No wonder ice cream sucks. I guess I am a milk weakling.”

“You went all this time feeling bad after eating ice cream and only now do you realize?”

“Hey, I always figured it was just because it was cold.” In a way Leo had to admire how naive she was at times. Cold stuff making your stomach hurt? Perfect Missy logic.

If she was clueless about that, what else was she overlooking? “Anything else make you feel bad?”

“Uhh, asparagus makes me want to throw up.” She shrugged. “Oh, but that’s because it tastes gross.”

“That would do it.” Leo looked down at his half-eaten meal. Tomato sauce seeped out of it, messing up the whole plate.

“Also coffee doesn’t taste like it smells, what’s up with that?”

“Everyone thinks that.”

“Oh. That’s stupid. If it tasted like it smelled, I’d drink it. It sucks though.”

“We don’t need you hopped up on caffeine.”

Missy chugged some more lemonade. “Speaking of caffeine, how do you live without coke? Water and fruits gets boring, doesn’t it?”

“That stuff will rot your teeth.”

“No it doesn’t.” She hooked her fingers into the sides of her mouth and pulled, revealing every sharp tooth in her mouth. “Shee?” They certainly weren’t in any terrible condition. Even if she were allowed out into world, dentistry work on her would cost a fortune.

“It rots my teeth,” Leo said, wincing.

“Maybe you can buy some for me then? Oh! With a little mini-fridge in my room.”

“I’m worried if I put a fridge in there, you’ll stop moving altogether.”

“That would be the life,” she replied with a sigh. “Hope you’ll come visit me in my room.”

“They’re for privacy’s sake.”

“I’ll visit you in yours for movie nights, so it’s only fair you visit mine.”

“For what? What are we going to do in there?” Leo realized the stupid question a little too late.

“To have soda parties.” Oh. “What else?” she asked, placing her head in her palms and raising her chest onto the table.

“Maybe paint the walls in pink?”

“Nuh uh, it’s gonna be black. Then I can blend in.”

“You’ll be smashing into walls like that,” Leo replied.

The two settled into silence after that, with Leo staring at the television off in the living room. He began to wonder if she was ever actually getting that room at this point. If she was going to make a mess of her clothes like that and not even bother to wear the important parts— Important parts? Stupid way to think of that. If she wasn’t going to wear the concealing parts, then they definitely needed their own space. He’d have to get her a television too. Probably mount it. That sounded like a fun project actually. “Would you want the TV on the wall or on a dresser?” he asked suddenly.

“Uh, wall. Looks nicer.”

“Good choice. I think I know how to do that.”

“You’re not supposed to have fun with this.”

“Alright, alright.” Now what tools did he need?

_

“You’ve been staring at that wall for an hour, dude,” Missy said. She and Leo were standing in the storage room. Missy lair-to-be.

Leo rubbed his chin. “It’s going to take longer than that if you want this straight.” He set his laser level against the wall and began marking with pencil. “It’ll kill me if it’s crooked.”

“I can always just tilt my head. No problem.” She leaned over and placed her head on his shoulder. Leo almost moved away, but he didn’t want to interrupt exactly where his level was. “My own room and a TV, now that’s a good deal. Maybe we can toss a new car in too?”

“I’m afraid no amount of sweeping will ever net you a car. Or trash tossing. Or vacuuming. Or—”

“It was a joke, sheesh,” she said with a chuckle. Her arm wormed its way up his back and over his shoulder.

“Do you mind?”

“I do.”

Of course you would. “The television is going to be no bigger than sixty inches.” Leo pulled out his tape measurer to give her a better sense of scale, if she even had one in the first place.

“Cool!”

“Why don’t you stand over there and picture it,” he said, motioning over to the other side of the room.

“I can picture it here.” It was awfully strange having her words reveberate through him like that.

“Yeah but you’re going to be laying down over there.”

“Nah, this is good too.” She patted him. He huffed. “So is it gonna be 4k 8k HD blu-ray top of the line thingamajig?”

“Yeah.” Leo nodded and began picturing it himself. “Something like that.” Four hundred bucks well spent, hopefully. “You’re going to use it, right?”

“Well duh, it’s gonna be great. I can watch TV all night without disturbing my lion.”

“And keep the volume down.”

“Oh am I gonna get a sound bar thingy too?”

“I’ll see.” Chaching. “Remember, the same cleanup rules apply. I am not having any roaches in here, so help me God.”

“What? You got one Wolficus, can’t handle some bugs too?”

“I really can’t.” He was already imagining the slob den she’d turn it into. Oh please no. There was a good chance he’d caulk every bit of furniture to the wall, just so nothing could get behind them.

“Don’t worry, all the yummy food stays in the kitchen. Except popcorn— Oh or if I’m craving some cheese. You ever get that? Just need a slice of cheese?”

“Clean up is all I’m asking.”

“Sure thing, no problem. Clean as can be.”

“So what colors do you want the walls painted?” Leo looked around the room as much as he could with a beast hanging around his neck. “I should be able to mix up a pink for you.”

“I said blaaaaack. What’s with guys thinking girls love pink, huh?”

“It’s not like you ever told me what your favorite color is.”

“What’s your favorite color?” Missy instantly asked. She turned her head more toward Leo’s, rubbing her snout up against his cheek. He could at least pull away from that.

“I don’t know. Navy blue?”

“A very good manly color!” Too loud. “Make the room that color.”

“Are you kidding me? It’s going to be pitch black at night if you get that color.”

“Good.” Of course that wouldn’t be an issue for her. Missy was geared for the night, or at least he assumed that she was, what with the pitch black fur and ocean eyes that were staring at him right that very moment. “Oh but uh, I guess it should be brighter just in case you wanna check on me,” she said.

“Not to worry, I’ll hear you snoring.”

“I do not snore.” Just then there was a knock at the door, pulling Missy away from Leo’s shoulder and making his neck awfully cold. “It’s the UPS guy,” she said, snuggling back into Leo.

“You mind if I get that?” Leo replied, feebly attempting to wriggle out of her grasp. “I’d rather not have incredibly expensive computer parts rotting on my doorstep.”

“The common criminal ain’t even gonna know how to put that stuff together.”

“No, but I am worried about what the elements are going to do to it.” He pulled free from Missy and set his tools aside. Leo took a moment to peer through the blinds next to the front door. That familiar brown van began pulling away, down the road and eventually out of sight. “Don’t leave that room, there’s a few boxes I have to get,” he said.

“Aye aye, cap’n,” Missy yelled back.

Leo cracked open the door to make absolutely certain nobody was out there, then opened it a bit more. One by one he pulled the boxes in until they were all neatly piled next to the door. It didn’t take him long to begin opening up the boxes. His mind was aching for something to do, and here it is. Leo looked to Missy, who was already right next to him. Oh right, this was her project too. In fact, she was the reason they were doing this. “So, let’s get started,” Leo said, pushing a box over to her.

“Such is the life of a hard working woman,” Missy replied. She sat down next to him and started cleanly slicing open the packaging. “Ya know, I never thought I’d make a computer. Everyone has a laptop or a tablet thing.”

“I never thought I’d be building a computer with you,” Leo said. In more ways than one. He held up a smaller box he pulled out of the generic brown. “What’s this?”

“Oh that’s the thermal paste!”

“Right.” Leo nodded. He knew the general idea of how a computer was laid out, probably more than the layman. Still not enough to fully assemble one. It felt... Good? Good and odd that Missy was going to be leading the charge on this one. Assuming she was. It was possible that she wouldn’t actually lift a finger to work.

“This should be the computer case. A shame we didn’t get the gamer LED one.” The monstress opened a larger box and pulled out a nice metal grey case.

“We are not building a decepticon.”

“With a rainbow keyboard.”

“What an eyesore. Can you imagine trying to use that late at night? A computer monitor is bright enough.”

“How else are you gonna let the neighbors know you’re booting up Skyrim?”

“Booting up what?”

“Never mind.” Missy shook her head. “Get the motherboard, we’ll put everything on there first.”

“OK then.” Leo knew what that was for sure, pulling out the nice box that read ‘motherboard’ on it along with a string of letters and numbers. How handy! “Let’s move this stuff over to the dining table.” The two shuffled the items near the table for easy access and sat down.

“Basically we gotta put most of the things on this big green cookie.” Missy freed the thing from its packaging and presented it. She delicately handled it too, surprisingly.

Leo furrowed his brow. “I see you’ve got the technical lingo down pat.” He could already guess where some things fit. Regardless, he was going to let Missy direct everything. “So what next?”

Missy quickly pulled out some more green wafers out of another box. “Physical RAM.” Her sharp claw pointed out the slots. “Remember to flip the little flaps!”

Snap. Snap. Snap. Easy. Leo expected more tools to go into this. “Alright, what next?” The man was flexing his hands. To be put to use was the best entertainment there was.

“Next we uh... Hm.” Missy leaned in and stared at the big green cookie.

“Something wrong?” Already?

“Well uh, I didn’t know this had a CPU already. So...” She leaned over and grabbed another box, presenting it. “We aren’t gonna need to put this CPU on.” She tapped on the thermal paste as her head lowered. “Or this.”

Leo looked at her for a brief moment. That was his fault for not checking everything himself. He waved it away. “Oh well. We can save it as a backup. Let’s just finish assembling the rest of it.”

Missy perked right back up. “Alllllrighty then.” The waste of cash was quickly shoved aside and the motherboard was once again the center of attention.

The pair worked on the computer piece by piece. Slotting every object, inserting every wire, and tightening every screw. Leo didn’t pick up on most of it. The labeling on the items were mostly shorthand meaning he couldn’t grasp their true meaning. Missy, however, seemed to know where everything went without so much as a slip up, and for once she was quite stoically quiet through it too. Of course she would spark up with a smile or giggle when Leo didn’t do something exactly right, but it was refreshing to see her so focused. Though at the same time the house felt out of order without a bad joke or an excited yell echoing through it.

It wasn’t long before the whole thing came together with a click of the case’s cover, hiding away the confusing guts of the computer. “Now you just gotta plug it in. Fingers crossed,” Missy said, tapping on the power button. Leo did just that. He plugged in the computer and then crossed his fingers. Mentally, of course. The thing turned on with a reassuring whirr. “Sounds good to me. Plug in the rest. If you know how.”

“I know how to plug in a keyboard and mouse. I’m not that clueless.”

“It’s OK if you don’t. Master Missy here has it all figured out.” She patted his shoulder. “You need a picture box to use a computer ya know.”

“I’m more than aware, thank you,” Leo replied. Now should it stay here while they fiddle with it or move it on over to the living room? Might as well stay here. “Get me the monitor.”

“What? No way, that thing is a ton. I’ll break my back doing that.”

And she would probably drop it too. “Alright, just plug in the stuff while I get it then. I set aside a mouse and keyboard in your room.” Hopefully calling it that would cement it in her mind.

“I knew it, poor Leo stuck in the past can’t hook up a computer.” Missy exaggerated a sigh as she walked off. “Missy has to do everything.”

“Please don’t ever refer yourself in the third person, alright?” Leo said, hefting the monitor out of its package. He quickly dusted off the table and set down the monitor. Missy laughed, plugging in the mouse and keyboard.

“Maybe we shoulda got you a wireless mouse. This stuff is from like, the early 2000’s or something. Surprised there ain’t a ball in there.” She held the mouse by its wire. The keyboard was in her other hand. “Keyboard too.”

“Batteries and connection problems? No. Wires always work.” Leo plugged in the monitor. It almost looked like a flatscreen TV. Whatever happened to those lovable cubes? The monitor itself turned on just fine. This really was coming together now. “Plug in the peripherals and we’ll check this thing out.”

“Pur-I-phur-uls,” Missy said. “That’s too big a word for me.” She held the USB end by her claws, carefully plugging it in. “Just call them what they are. Keyboard, mouse. Simple stuff. I think there was a famous guy who said something about this. I think he was called Layman, maybe.”

“Yeah,” Leo nodded and pursed his lips, “it must’ve been some guy named Layman.” Thank God they were getting a computer with infinite knowledge.

“OK, riff-rolls plugged in.” Her fingers curled into an ‘OK’. “Give it a go.”

“Here we go.” Leo pulled out two chairs for them and sat down. The thing was going through the motions of Windows with its bright colors and creepily calm wording. He couldn’t even use it yet and already he was happy to see it in one working piece. Missy appeared similarly giddy, though it was likely she was excited to get another toy to play with.

“No wonder nobody uses computers, this takes forever.” The screen switched to something with a user input. “Oh! Oh! Oh!” She shook Leo. “Look!”

“I see it, relax.” The prompt was requesting Leo to make an account for the computer. Weren’t there enough accounts in this world? Whatever, he clicked on the box.

“Pick a good name. How abooooout Leo and Missy?”

“Fine, OK.” It really wasn’t made for her use, but he supposed the name didn’t really matter anyways. “Leo and Missy.” The next screen prompted him to sign in with his Microsoft account. God. Fortunately he was able to recall all the details and enter them. Hopefully Missy didn’t memorize his keystrokes. With that out of the way, the next screen asked for the computer name.

“Leo and Missy’s computer!” she instantly said.

“OK, alright, that’s fair,” Leo replied. She did help to put it together. Actually it was possible he wouldn’t have ever built a computer without her. He quickly entered the name and moved on. The next screen asked him to make sure everything was correct. Everything seemed right to him. “Anything I missed?”

Missy leaned in close. “Mmmmmmmmnope. Oh wait, I know!” She quickly wrangled control of the mouse and hastily clicked on the picture. In a flash the screen switched to an odd sight. It was a picture of a far too tired man sat next to some wide-eyed monster. Then the monster squished up to his cheek just as Missy did to him in reality. Wait a second. Click. There, immortalized on their computer was a picture of the both of them. “Now it’s done.”

“Warn me next time,” Leo mumbled as he stared at the picture. Missy had an all too happy grin, while Leo himself looked a little out of it. He almost wanted to ask for a more flattering picture. “You sure that’s alright? It’s not going to put it on the Internet? Not going to have to explain to anyone that this isn’t a real image?” He didn’t even notice the monitor had a webcam.

“No, it’s just on the computer.” She looked to Leo. “I think. But it’s fine.” Missy clicked along, sending the computer into its own set of duties as it set up more things behind the scenes. “There, we almost got a real computer now.”

“Was a laptop not real enough?” It was certainly real until it stopped working for the sake of watching rubber dinosaurs vomit a cherry blue Gatorade.

“Yeah but this can like, do stuff! Edit videos, browse the web, play cool games.”

“I don’t really want to do most of that stuff.”

“It does a killer spreadsheet.” Missy shrugged. “I think you like spreadsheets.”

Leo was going to dispel that notion that he worked with boring spreadsheets, but quickly recalled the large one that sat in a state of permanent flux on his work computer. “Yes, I’ll take a killer spreadsheet.”

“Those numbers won’t know what hit ‘em.” The pair stared at the computer screen while colors faded in and out. Corporate friendly talk popped up randomly trying to placate its users. Leo clicked the mouse to see if that might somehow speed it up. “Patience, Mr. Lion.”

“Right, patience,” Leo said with a chuckle. “Before you go screwing about on this thing, please stick to Youtube, or Google, or Wikipedia, alright?”

“Hey now, that laptop thing was an honest mistake.”

“So let’s minimize as many mistakes as we can, alright?”

Missy hummed. “You know Google is a search thing, right? You only use it to go to other sites.”

“Just Youtube and Wikipedia.”

“We’ll put some cool anti-virus stuff on here so you won’t have to worry about it ever again.”

“Or we can do that and also do what I said. Then we’ll really never have to worry.”

Missy rolled her head. “Fiiiiine.” She propped her head up on the table. “Shoulda called it Missy and Leo’s computer instead...” The screen finally switched to a desktop wallpaper of a lovely beach setting. “There you go. One pristine genuine computer.” She turned to Leo and loudly cleared her throat. This was the part where he thanked her.

“Thank you, Missy.”

“Thank you, genius Missy.”

“Let’s not stretch the imagination here, alright?” he said with a smile. Leo was already clicking through and deleting all the bloatware junk that came on the hard drive. Maybe they should’ve just done a fresh install so he didn’t have to root out every stupid bit of hidden programs.

“Can I pick the wallpaper?”

“Why?”

“’Cause I want it to look nice.”

“Just something presentable and mature, alright?” Leo let go of the mouse before Missy could snatch it from him.

The monstress giggled. “Oh yeah, have to make your wallpaper presentable for all zero people who visit.”

“It’s still going to be mostly a work machine.” In-between being used as an overpriced video player for the homebody. “I’d like it to reflect that, you know?”

“Something boring and work related, gotcha. I’ll find the most grey picture imaginable.” She brought up the internet browser. “Oh wait, we have to do connect it to the internet too. What’s your password?”

“Whatever it was on the back of the router.”

“You didn’t change your internet stuff at all?”

“Well who’s going to bother connecting to my internet out here?” Fog monsters, perhaps?

“Alright, well go tell me those magical words,” she said with a nudge.

“Fine, fine.” Leo had said it disinterestedly but he was happy Missy was taking charge on setting everything up on this. He walked over to where he had connected the router into the wall and picked it up. “The password is just ‘admin.’ “

“OK, don’t move yet, you might have to tell me more techno-numbers.” And waited he did, occasionally glancing back at Missy. Were he not aware that she knew what she was doing, he’d almost think she was entranced by the machine. Knowing other people, vaguely, hypnotism by machine wasn’t that far off. Though with his firm disallowance of social media, hopefully she’d get something better out of it than knowing the latest Internet slang. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew she wouldn’t use it for much other than entertainment, but hey the possibility was there. “I’m done. You’re surfing the world wide web now.”

Leo came back to find the wallpaper replaced by a surprisingly nice snapshot of a cityscape at dusk. “Neat. Where’s that?”

“Dunno. I just looked it up.” Missy shrugged. The man sat down and looked at the image a bit closer. There was a familiar red and white tower in the background that he distinctly recalled being destroyed by a giant something or other. Whatever, it was a nice image in any case. “So now that we’re done, what’re we gonna do, huh?”

“Done? What do you mean done? We have to move it to the living room.”

Missy narrowed her eyes. “We shoulda made it over there then!”

“And miss out on your reaction?” But yes, probably would’ve been smarter to assemble it over there. Like most things he was swept up in the monstrous excitement. “Just unplug everything and I’ll do the rest, alright?”

“You better.” The woman continued to mumble to herself as she turned it off and unplugged the machine and all its parts. Leo briefly wondered if he could somehow coax her into learning the ins and outs of a car. She was able to grasp this in no time at all with only minimal prodding. Now if only she could turn a wrench smoothly. “There’s all your stuff, move it or lose it.” Part by part, Leo migrated their project over to the living room. Missy watched him closely, probably getting a great pleasure at watching him do menial work. Once he put the last part in place on a table, he realized it was lacking a chair. The dining table could do without one for a while. Then maybe he could make one. He hadn’t done woodwork in a while.

“You’re thinking of another thing to do, aren’t you?” Missy asked. “You start tilting your head like ‘oh yeah, that would look great if I wasted ten hours on it’ or something.”

“I was just thinking of a nice chair for the computer,” Leo said with a shrug. Did he really do that? He guessed nobody had been around to scrutinize him like that. “You wanna make a chair?”

The dark lady walked over to him and put her hands on her hips. “You just ask people that?” she said with a smile.

“You just ask people if they wanna assemble computers?”

“Too-shay. No, I don’t wanna make a chair. That sounds like something an old person does. On their bucket list thing, right above learn an instrument.”

“Hey, that’s even better, we could make an instrument for you to learn.” Leo had said that as a joke, but he began legitimately thinking of the feasibility of such a project.

“You’ll just do anything that pops in your head huh?” He could probably make a half-decent banjo with some spare parts. Missy clad in overalls and strumming a banjo popped into his head, causing him to chuckle. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing, nothing. Do you know any instruments?”

“Do I look like I know any instruments?”

“Harmonica could work, or the piano. You’ve got the hands for it, seriously.”

“The piano is for sleep music. Like Mr. Deboosey.” She motioned over to the television.

“Maybe we could get a koto for you.”

“Now you’re just making stuff up.”

“Well you do have that Wikipedia machine to enjoy now. Why don’t you look it up?” He turned his head. “It’s not like you’re busy, is it?”

Missy nodded. “I am busy. I gotta go take that shower now.” She walked past him. Leo wondered how long she was holding onto that, or if she just forgot. “Don’t break the computer!”

“Don’t worry, if I do, you can fix it.”

“No joking about that!” The bathroom door shut.