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I know I'm dreaming. The wheat fields around me and summer fjords in the distance are too peaceful, too simple, and too warm to be real. I walk among the green stalks anyway, letting my hands brush along the fruitful grain. I don't linger among the young wheat for long. I go toward the hill in the distance, where a mighty, crooked oak offers its shade. There's someone there that I know. I can't see them, but I know they're on the other side of the tree.

Nothing hunts me as I walk. There's peace in the green fields, yet I still check over my shoulder every few steps. The warm sun and soft wind try to ease the fears carved into my flesh. If this is nothing but a pleasant escape before my nightly terrors, I'll take what solace is offered to me.

I climb the hill, one step at a time up half-buried stones, taking an eternity to reach the top. It's so high I can see the fields all around, stretching on to endless sea to the east and a pine forest to the west. Near the forest I see the steep roofs of the farm's buildings, nestled near softly flowing waters. The river, with its wonderful fishing, runs far past the houses, the water promising to be cool and refreshing. But I don't stare for long, as a pleasant humming pulls me toward the oak atop the hill. Whoever is on the other side changes their humming to a strange, wordless song.

I know them, and yet...

---

I blink, confused at the sight before my eyes. The inside of a thatched roof, stained by the smoke of a normally lively hearth, and built too low for a man as tall as me. I'm on my back, in a cold and dingy hut in the dusty light before dawn, and not at that homely farm. Instead of exhaustion, I feel a tired longing to slip back into that pleasant dream. How many days, weeks even, has it been since I woke without a fearful start?

Laying there, warm from furs beneath and above me, I slowly come to the realization that I'm not alone. The soft, deep breaths of another rise and fall against my chest. Turning my head, I see Rin fast asleep, her fox face pressed against my shoulder, and one of my arms held firmly in her grasp. At the same time, she has one of her arms, and many of her fluffy tails, draped across me. All of her soft winter fur keeps the morning's chill far away.

Somehow there's no fear in my chest from her being this close. The haze of waking from a good dream, I muse.

Memories of the night before, and the days prior, leave me in deep conflict as I stare at the sleeping kitsune. I want to let her rest, but with how we last parted and how her memory will be a blur at best, I don't think it wise to let her wake while holding me. That could lead to a fight neither of us need. Taking great care, I try to ease myself away, out from her warmth and tender grasp.

She pulls my arm closer, sliding her other arm off my chest to squeeze my caught limb against herself. A sad, whimpering sound ekes out from her shut mouth. I freeze in place, not knowing what to do.

Swallowing, the sound deafeningly loud to my ears, I realize I don't want to leave her.

If I'd gone toward her when she confessed her love, tried to touch her instead of pulling in on myself, would things have been different? Could I have even done that at the time, when I still fear losing myself to rage and fear of the past? With another fight on the horizon, against the man-eater Kenta, isn't it more merciful to keep a certain distance from all these kitsune? I don't know what to do. If I had answers to any of the questions rattling around in my head, I could do something aside from grinding my teeth and staying still beside the sleeping kitsune.

If only I knew what her pleading for me to stay last night was truly about. Maybe then I'd know my own heart some, instead of finding myself left with questions and fear.

I settle back down, breathing out hard through my nose to loosen my jaw. I can't sleep anymore. But even if laying here with Rin leaves me tense, I can't deny that it's more comfortable than being alone.

I listen to her soft breathing and stare at the ceiling, letting her hold my arm tightly. If that brings her comfort while she dreams, then I can accept this inconvenience and whatever strife comes later. With my elbow pressed between her bosom, I'm certain there will be some strife.

Only a few moments pass, or maybe it's much longer. With only the sound of Rin sleeping and the flurry of my thoughts to occupy me, time has little hold on me.

Wood knocks on wood, my heart hammering into my throat. I look toward the door and see it move, an unwelcome voice stopping me from falling into too much fear. "Egil," Saki says, "I am sorry to intrude. Rin is missing and I've come to ask your help in finding..."

The eight-tail, hunching in the open doorway, stares down at me. Or perhaps at her eldest sister clinging to my side and covering me with her tails so that only my head is exposed. Rin is still fast asleep, but the dull shock in Saki's eyes has me worried.

"She was drunk. Wandered in here last night," I whisper as quietly as I can, desperately hoping Saki can read my lips. And will believe that I'm telling the truth.

The black clad kitsune tilts her head, then looks behind her, then back at me. Her mouth twists, trying to find the right words. "Is she okay?" she mutters.

I shrug. A horrible mistake, as it stirs Rin. The nine-tail mumbles, yawning into my shoulder, and if she didn't have a firm grasp on my arm I'd be on the other side of the hut before she finishes. Instead I'm stuck in place by wild fear until her teeth are gone, leaving my heart thumping frantically. Her worn down blue eyes join Saki's concerned brown in staring at me. I would rather be facing down a hundred kappa right now than be caught in this position, but my heart is calming quicker than expected. Yet still, why did I ever think it was a good idea to lay down by Rin?

"Eldest sister," Saki begins, drawing blue eyes off of me, "should I fetch you some water and food?"

"That would be wonderful," Rin mutters, voice dry and raspy.

"At once," Saki bows, putting the door back and abandoning me.

Well. At least I don't have to give an explanation to two kitsune. Rin looks around, her head moving slowly, before propping up on one elbow. She groans, closes her eyes and, unfortunately, squeezes my arm still in her grasp. "What happened?" she demands, a sliver of an eye dangerously opening to look down upon me.

There's no good answer to that. I'll give her the simple truth, leaving out the awkward details of what she said last night. "You wandered in here drunk and struck by grief. I got you to bed, you wouldn't let go of my clothes, and I didn't want to disturb you, so I laid down."

"Is that all?" she whispers, voice straining but her gaze filled with a sharp demand for more.

"You were crying," I explain. "I couldn't leave you like that."

"That didn't stop you before," she says, colder than the ice outside. She lurches upright, tossing my arm aside and whipping her tails away. Even though she wobbles and has to clutch a wooden beam holding up the hut's ceiling, she manages to stay standing.

I get to my feet and give her an arm's length of distance. I could give her more, even in this small hut, but I won't make that mistake again. She tells me to move and I will, otherwise I plan to stay still. Nor will I speak before her, keeping a retort about how she's the one who left last time to myself. Fighting won't help either of us, and it would disrespect the dead who once called this hut a home to trade barbs in their dwelling.

"Why?" she suddenly demands. "Why now?"

"I'll give you the answers I couldn't," I say, hoping I sound reasonable and not emotional. Anger or offense will only worsen things right now. "But I would rather do that outside of the village. Too much has happened."

Rin stares at the ground instead of me, her messy hair hiding her eyes. "Very well. I can respect your wisdom."

"I'll leave for now, if you want," I offer.

"What I want does not matter," she snaps, whipping her face toward me. The kitsune wobbles, her legs unsteady and eyes wincing from the sharp movement, but the anger doesn't fade when she recovers. Her misery, a spark of what I saw last night, is as plain to see as her frustration. "Go," she commands. "We'll talk tonight, back at my home. There is much we must discuss now that this man-eater problem has grown."

I look toward the door, then back to Rin. I nod, corners of my mouth heavy as I gather my meager possessions. While I tie my belt back on, I notice the untouched jug of wine by the cool hearth, right where Rin left it the night before. If she went through five of those last night it's incredible that she isn't curled up in a corner groaning. Perhaps it's anger at me giving her strength, I muse as I get my sword settled back on my belt. Now that I'm ready to leave, I move to the jug instead of walking out, wondering if the kitsune will stop me from taking it. She says nothing as I lift it, the sloshing weight within oddly relieving.

"Take it," she says, gaze hardening. "I won't be needing it."

"Thank you. I'll find a way to pay you back," I say, bowing clumsily but sincerely.

"If that is what you want," she begins, tilting her mouth and looking severely at me, "tell me what, or who, you'll use it for. And I will consider it repaid."

Does she honestly think I'd offer any of her sisters wine? Staring into her blue gaze, I can't tell if that was a barb or simply a question. It doesn't matter, my answer is the same either way. "I want to use it for a tribute to the dead," I say. "Something I started doing, to remember those I couldn't save." I turn around and go to the door. Before either of us can start a fight.

She speaks up when I have my hand on the crude rope handle. "Egil."

I look back at the kitsune master of the mountain. For that's what I see staring at me, Rin holding herself with noble poise despite her hunched stance, her face polite and slightly stern. "The kappa and oni are at fault. Not you."

"That's kind of you. But I know what my presence has done," I say, before heading out into the cold. Once I'm out the door, I quietly curse myself for saying words that surely stung her, when it hadn't been my intention at all. I meant that if I hadn't been here then the oni and kappa might never have worked together, but she could just as easily think it was a barb. A jab at her and the love for me she confessed to feeling.

I breathe deeply from the cold wind to push down my regret.

---

After taking care of certain morning needs, I head toward the bridge connecting the two sides of the village. I spot Saki coming out of a hut, carrying a covered pot in one hand and a large jug in the other. Behind her is Miki, arms filled with clay cups and spoons, who moves morosely but dutifully. Until she spots me, her ears and two tails perking up. The eight-tail, to my surprise, turns her course deliberately, bringing the two of them to me. I meet the pair halfway, ice crunching under my boots.

"Do you wish to eat alone?" Saki asks.

"Would you be surprised to hear that I don't know what I want?" I look up at a cloud drifting in the sky. "This morning or any other."

The eight-tail turns to Miki, handing over her burden to the two-tail. I'm impressed by the younger kitsune's silent coordination, somehow taking the bowls and pot in arm while balancing what she already carried on top. "Go," Saki commands, "I will join you shortly."

The two-tail nods behind her load, smiles coyly at me, and heads off. She's got good balance, but I don't look for long as the kitsune in front of me demands my full attention. "What happened last night?" Saki whispers, voice mingling with her wispy breath.

"Rin came to me drunk," I answer, shifting uncomfortably as the wind picks up against my back. "I'm not sure if she wanted to see me or deliver the bad news about Taro."

Saki hisses out a breath. "She's too good of a sneak at the worst of times."

I'm so stunned to hear Saki say anything remotely chastising about her older sister that I can't respond.

"What will you do now that you know about Taro? About what he's done?" she asks, frosty brown eyes looking down at me.

"I'm going to waste wine for the dead," I answer, lifting the jug I took. "Then I'm going to find an empty hut and wait until Rin is ready to go back up the mountain."

Her gaze searches me for any deceit, but there's none to be found. I weather her stare without any fear. I don't plan to take any vengeance on the young man turned man-eater.

"And what if he escapes and comes after you?" she mutters.

"I can't promise I won't break a few bones," I say, leaving it vague as to whether I mean me or the man-eater, "But I'd restrain him. He wasn't as strong as me, only tougher."

"Why not kill him?" she asks, so coldly and quickly I know she's been expecting this conversation, and for me to argue.

I take my time to think, shifting my weight from foot to foot in the unpleasant, wintry wind. "Why are you asking me all of this?"

"It's my duty as second eldest to watch out for Rin," she states. "So tell me. Would you kill Taro?"

"Not if it would hurt her," I answer, the truth of that statement sending a chill down my spine. I care for the nine-tail, don't I? I'd never thought to stay my blade against something that haunts my dreams and burns my bones with hate. Yet I am, for Rin's sake. If only I knew more about why I cared for her. Then maybe I could fix things between the two of us.

Those brown eyes search me for deceit again, but she must not find anything to condemn me for. Saki nods, her gaze softening as she speaks. "I will trust you, Egil. You have earned at least that." She turns and points to one of the huts on this side of the river. "Yuuko is cooking in there. She'll be more than happy to serve you a meal."

"Thank you, Saki. But my ceremony is more important to me than a meal." Hoping to get on my way, I nod toward the hut I had been occupying. "You might want to return to your eldest sister. Things have been contentious between her and I, and I don't want to drag you into it."

"I fear I've already done that myself, if not worse," she says, turning on one foot and leaving.

I watch her tails go, brow furrowing as I wonder about exactly what she means. I breathe out into the cold, putting my face to the wind. I'll know soon enough. Right now I have a jug of wine to empty, and silent apologies to make to simple villagers I couldn't save.

---

My ceremony is simple and short. I go to one of the burned down huts, no better than a pile of char and ash now, and offer a quiet apology. I break the seal on the wine jug, take a short drink, and pour out the rest. "Your lives won't be forgotten," I mutter as the rice wine splatters against frozen mud. "I won't forget your hospitality, nor that of the kitsune you aided. So curse me if it helps, but go to your gods in peace."

The last few drops of wine trickle out. The guilt I've ignored is still there, buried deep in my chest where I know it will sit for the rest of my life. Just another stone sinking deeper into a well of doubts and regrets. That's what I tell myself as I wait for the agony to leave and my throat to loosen up. I don't know if I do this ceremony to relieve my guilt, to comfort the dead, or both. I do hope that the dead can find peace after such a terrible end. I wish I could tell the dead their killers were gone, but now I can't carry that revenge out.

One kappa got away, and Taro, while I still feel hate for him, isn't a threat I have any right to kill. Not unless a life is directly threatened will I put that man-eater to the sword. Not when it would hurt Rin. She's already lost this village her mother left behind; I couldn't live with myself if I cut away the final piece. And I don't even know why she watched over them, or what it all meant to her. If the kitsune and I ever speak as friends again, then I can worry about learning why this village mattered so much to her.

I breathe out and pretend the cold wisps are some of the pain in my chest wafting out. The horrible guilt doesn't lessen, but my throat isn't as tight anymore. The heady scent of strong wine is thick in the air, reminding me of last night and fresh regrets. I set the empty jug mouth down on the ground and leave, the wind blowing away the scent.

I walk the frozen fields for a while, back and forth over my own footprints, trying not to think as I work my legs. Thoughts of that warm dream, the first true comfort I've had in weeks, and feeling the winter sun on my face help banish the worst of my guilt. I have to move forward, stay true to the path I've chosen. Even when it's hard or I want to undo poor choices. Always forward, sticking to the hard course ahead.

When I feel ready to face the world again, I stop pacing. I turn back and head toward the bridge, but as I do, I see several kitsune crossing the river. Saki, Rin, and Miki. Saki is carrying her spear on her shoulder and has that half-mask over her eyes again, while Rin leads with graceful indifference. The two-tail, who walks behind the others, seems to spot me, her tails going from limp to suddenly raised in excitement. I stop where I am, wondering where the group is heading and hoping they aren't coming toward me. My stomach sinks when the nine-tail folds her hands into her sleeves and walks purposefully my way.

"We are going up now," Rin announces once she's close enough, stopping half a dozen paces away and looking firmly at me.

I return the stare, notice her white hair is pulled back and not quite as messy, and nod. "Only the four of us?"

"For now," she answers, moving forward, angling to walk past me. "Come. I do not want to waste daylight when you, Saki, and I have much to discuss this evening."

I do not like the sound of that, but with what happened in the village I suppose it makes sense. Important events should come before Rin and I settle personal matters.

I fall in with their group. Rin walks in the lead, Miki behind her, and Saki and I heading up the rear. No one speaks as we walk across frozen fields and into the woods that hide the stone step trail up the mountain. Even when we start the winding and steady climb, nobody says anything.

The tension in the air thickens as we go, and it's almost unbearable when we step into the dead section of the forest. Meiko and Kenta's stretch of forest. The crazed kitsune, if she is even around, seems to have the sense to stay away. With Saki and I gripping our weapons tightly and even Miki's shoulders tense, we all appear ready to spring on anything that comes out. Anyone within a hundred paces must sense the danger we pose. I glance at Saki, wondering how she must feel with her twin sister somewhere out in those woods and nothing she can do about it, but her half-mask shows no emotion.

I look ahead, at Rin's lowered tails, and try to focus on walking instead of thinking. No sense in worrying during a march to a miserable series of conversations. Only Miki, her shoulders relaxing some, seems to be unaware or uncaring of the hardships ahead. The two-tail is lucky to not be involved.

We soon reach the torii that loom over the path, their home near. We pass them one by one, the crack of a branch in the forest making me lose count right when we're at the last two arches. Not that the count would mean much, since they're sure to be magical. Perhaps there is only one torii, perhaps there are hundreds hidden by illusions. The only way I'd know is to ask, and with Miki being the kitsune who might answer me right now, I keep quiet.

We crest the last step, the shut gate to the walled off home coming into sight. Rin's stride doesn't falter as she makes for the two heavy doors. Right as I think she'll walk face first into them, they fling inward, wood creaking and groaning. We follow, the eight- and two-tail hurrying past me to walk closer to their eldest sister. Wood loudly moans and the gates slam shut behind me, crashing shut with a sound that I feel in my jaw and lungs. Wind from the doors' passage buffets my back and sends my heart beating faster. If I'd been any slower, I might have been hit. No longer feeling any of the winter chill, I look to the kitsune walking ahead and hurry to catch up.

Rin steps up onto the walkway before sharply turning around. "Both of you put your weapons away," she instructs, to Saki and me. "Then go get cleaned up. You," Rin says, turning to me, "may use the same room you have been. Since you did not formally leave these walls yet, it is still yours."

We're out of the village, so I shouldn't be surprised the barbs are back. It still stings, souring what hope I had.

"Eldest sister," Saki bows, "will we be meeting in the hosting room?"

"Yes," Rin curtly nods. "At nightfall." She turns her attention to Miki. "Come with me, little sister. I have need of your help."

Then she's off, her hands clasped ahead of her as she slips into the main building. Miki hurries after her older sister, not wanting to disobey.

Once they're gone, Saki waits a few breaths before speaking. "I will meet you at your room," she says, bowing to me deeper than I'm used to. "Once I have gathered everything for bathing."

"Thank you," I mutter, clumsily nodding. The eight-tail scurries off around the building. No doubt to put away her weapons now that we're in the walls of their home.

I heard nothing about leaving my weapons with her again, so I sit on the walkway and take off my boots. I hear a shuffle of feet on wood, look over to the source, and see tails vanishing up the edge of overhanging eaves. Concerned as I am confused, when I look down I see a pair of slippers sitting beside me. And my boots are missing. Whichever kitsune that was is not one I wish to cross.

Taking my boots is a convenient way to keep me in this house, I muse, putting on the slippers and going inside. The turns and twists down the hallways, with near identical screen walls on each side, are familiar enough that I don't get lost. Before long, I'm sliding one of the door-walls open and step into the familiar, small room. There aren't any clothes waiting for me, but the futon I used is neatly folded up and sitting in the center of the room.

I take off my belt, sword and dagger still hanging from it, and set it beside the futon. Knowing Saki will come get me sometime fairly soon, I go close the door-wall, hoping that will afford me some privacy. I start toward the wall I leaned on so often in the restless dark before morning, but hesitate.

I turn back, sift through the pouches on my belt, and pull out a piece of silver. The rune, its shape familiar to my fingers, is so cold it's almost painful. I rub the pendant, to comfort myself as much as warm it up, then loop its cord over my neck. I don't care that I'm going to wash myself. I want this back against my chest, reminding me to follow the path I set out on. Even if the gods aren't good examples to follow when it comes to love or women, the familiar weight of the leather cord and silver against my skin is a reminder I need.

---

I spend far too long waiting against the wall, but eventually Saki arrives, still in her dark and dirty clothes, but with a fresh change for both of us in her arms. I'd wondered if she had forgotten, but if she's here now that's good enough.

I get up and follow her without a word, the eight-tail walking ahead of me half a step. She leads me to the stout, stone building set aside as their bathhouse. A place I became quite familiar with as my arm healed. She motions for me to go inside the two-room building, and I'm happy to do so, looking forward to being able to clean myself without help. The kitsune bathe more often than most kings I've met, but with thick walls of stone and wood keeping the charcoal fired warmth inside the building, I can't find fault in their ways. It's pleasantly steamy compared to the chill outside. Once Saki shuts the door behind us, I go through the curtained divider, to the half of the building with a large stone tub of hot water and buckets, eager to scald away my thoughts.

A furry arm moves past me, Saki stepping ahead of me to get two simple stools set against a wall. I measure my words carefully before asking, "What are you doing?"

Brown eyes twist toward me, the kitsune looking at me over her shoulder, her bushel of tails writhing uneasily. "You'll need help with your back."

"I won't," I assure her, flexing my good arm behind my back. My shield arm, the one that had been broken weeks before and weakened from all that time in a splint, is still stiff and bruised from our recent battle. But she doesn't need to know any of that.

Saki turns to face me, and though I'm awash with relief to see her clothes are still on, I raise a hand to stop what she is about to say. I ask, "Would you please let me do this for myself?"

"You are our guest," she stresses. "It would be unforgivably rude to not offer you such simple help." Something about the way she holds herself, shoulders squared and feet firmly rooted, tells me she's willing to argue this point until the water goes cold.

"I'm still on edge from the fight," I say, hoping she gets my meaning. I don't want to explain that I'll probably flinch or have a strong urge to run away if she touches me right now, because it's not entirely true. The worst of it ended days ago.

"Then I will be quick," she says, placing the stools down. I stare at her, hoping she'll back down, but the kitsune is already getting a bucket of water and cloth to scrub with.

I shrug my arms out of my clothes, giving up. I don't strip completely, staying in my loincloth as I put my back to the kitsune. A skittering tension races up my spine, the vulnerability causing my heartbeat to quicken. I pull off my pendant and start thumbing the rune, the familiar curves calming. The sooner I can get this over with the better, I tell myself, trying to brace for what is sure to come.

Hot water pours down my back, nearly sending me off the low seat from surprise alone. I breathe out and let Saki do as she feels is necessary, a rough cloth brushing against my shoulders before she starts scrubbing, starting at the top with the obvious intention to go down. Eventually I loosen my grip on the silver pendant, dents remaining in my fingertips even as I settle back to rubbing it. Saki must sense me relaxing and speaks up. "I haven't properly thanked you, Egil."

"If it's about the fight," I say, "you don't need to say anything. I wasn't going to leave and you knew it."

"You nonetheless have my sincere gratitude," she says from behind me, her voice matching her words. "I had worried you would need my help. Instead I needed yours." Saki starts on my mid-back, dousing me with more water before going gently over a sore spot that must be a bruise. Her careful and insistent touch eases more of the tight instincts out of my back. When I'm more relaxed, she starts speaking again. "If you hadn't gone with me-"

"We went together," I cut in. "What might have happened didn't. There's nothing else to worry about."

"I disagree," she says. "You saved me from a fate all kitsune fear."

I stay silent, not wanting to encourage this conversation at all. Saki quietly scrubs and washes my back, getting to such a low spot on my spine it's more awkward than uncomfortable. If she weren't so careful, and there wasn't a strange trust between us after surviving that fight together, I would be flying off the stool right now.

"Egil, I know you don't want me to offer you my life in exchange for rescuing Meiko," she quietly says, unnervingly close to my ear. "But you saved me from a fate nearly as terrible as hers. I have no way to repay that but one. I do not know what to do and that is unsettling."

"Does this have anything to do with the discussion Rin plans?" I ask, keeping my eyes firmly on the floor. Questions might distract her from trying to do more for me.

"Yes," Saki answers. "It's about-"

I interrupt by talking over her. "Why don't we save this for a more proper setting?" I suggest.

The cloth leaves my back. I hear Saki wring it out, then dip it into a bucket. "These are the thickest walls in the house," she says, just short of a whisper. "Perfect when Rin doesn't want any of our sisters to hear about this."

I roll my jaw, mulling that over. "This was her plan?"

"She agreed to it," Saki says, wringing the rag out again. "You need to know about the hoshinotama if you are to help me free Meiko and stop Kenta."

That word, hoshinotama, takes me a moment to recognize. Star balls, I realize as I thumb my pendant. A word Saki had been hesitant to even mention in front of me, some kind of weakness. And, if I remember right, I think the runes tried to tell me about something to do with a star and these kitsune. But it's been so long, and so much has happened, that I can't remember what the runes said.

Saki is quiet, but with how the hairs stand up my spine, I know she's staring intently at me. I relent and ask with a sigh, "What's so important about these things?"

"Lift your arm," she mutters.

I look back at her, and turn as regret and embarrassment swirling together. She's clothed, but barely. Chest bindings restrain her womanly, furred bosom, and if she's wearing anything below it I didn't see. Nor do I wish to check. I press my pendant between two fingers, firmly enough to border on pain in the hopes it will distract me, and raise my other arm. "What happened to washing only my back?" I ask.

"I have much to explain," she says, resting the back of her furry hand against my raised elbow. "And I don't think you would wash my back if I asked."

My embarrassment keeps me from arguing. I don't enjoy being bathed by another, but after so many weeks of Shizuka, Saki, and Rin doing just that I'm almost used to it. I'd rather sit and endure this than be asked to wash her back.

"A star ball," Saki begins, no doubt sensing I'm not going to argue about having this conversation anymore, "is the most precious object to a kitsune. It is a part of our essence, our magic, our very souls. It helps us focus power, but it can be a weakness. If someone were to take it from us and knew how to use magic, it would be no different than having a knife to our neck."

I shift uncomfortably, and it's not just because Saki is scrubbing the underside of my arm.

"The last person one of my sisters told about the magical nature of a star ball was Kenta." The pendant presses painfully into my palm, and I wish she'd stop speaking. But she doesn't. "To the best of our knowledge, Meiko trusted him with her star ball out of devotion and trust. Trust he repaid by using her power to become a monster, in the name of protecting her from the monks of his temple. Instead he damned himself and enslaved her by keeping hold of her star ball after gaining power."

Saki's voice is cold, even as her hands work slowly and gently, her touch careful against my skin. Wet fur and a cloth are all I feel, no claws or undue pressure. But there's a dreadful sharpness to her words that tries to cut me, and her ire isn't even directed at me. "The man-eater that attacked me," Saki whispers, "Taro. He didn't tell us he was after my star ball, but I know he was. There was no other reason to attack my tails the way he did." More water sluices off of my skin as she rinses me. "He had to have been told I hide my star ball there," she continues. "Only my sisters know I carry it in my tails when I go out to fight. Kenta must have made Meiko tell him about my weakness."

I relax my grip, staring down at my pendant as she releases my clean arm. I'd be torn up if I lost my trinket, and it's only a reminder of what I believe in. Losing a star ball sounds so much worse, even more frightening than telling a faerie your true name. At least a thief can't snatch your true name.

Saki continues, pouring more hot water over me. "But you," she says, "stopped that plan. And you saved me, fighting like no man I have ever seen. I think even a yamabushi would fear fighting you."

"Sometimes my stubbornness can be useful," I say, tongue heavy in my mouth. "But why tell me this? This star ball is your sisters' weakness as much as it is your own."

"I've seen what you think is yours," she answers. "I want to extend my trust to you. As a..." she falters, clearly changing what she speaks, "as a warrior I wish to know better."

Whatever she was going to say can be her secret. "I won't betray you or your sisters," I vow aloud. Then again. And again, thrice binding myself to show her I'm serious.

"Egil," the eight-tail whispers. She's quiet for a few breaths, then says, "Thank you."

For many heartbeats, there's only the sound of my breath. Then a plunk of cloth into a water and the rattle of a stool. "Eldest sister will be furious if I don't let her speak to you before trying to swear any oaths to you," Saki mutters. "I will let you finish washing yourself in privacy."

She scoots a bucket of clean water close to me, a fresh rag soaking within, and walks past. I look up, wondering if I should say something, before snapping my eyes back to the floor as Saki goes through the curtain divider. She's wearing a loincloth much like mine, leaving nothing to the imagination about her strong legs, womanly hips, and the white fur inside her thighs. If I didn't know better I'd think her tails were deliberately held to give me a look, but I don't want to believe that about her. She's never shown any interest in me beyond what I can do as a warrior, or so I have told myself. What if I am lying to myself?

That fresh worry on my mind, I set about scrubbing myself and washing dried blood out of my hair instead of thinking, knowing I can't do anything about Saki's true thoughts right now.

---

After a bath and awkward dressing, Saki thankfully hiding much of her body with her tails when we switch places between the curtain dividers, she and I are free of the last blood and grime from battle. I don't smell smoke on either of us or our fresh clothes; a welcome change.

The eight-tail, in her white dress and blue sash around her waist, leads me back into the main building. We go through twists and turns that I don't recognize until she opens a door-wall. Inside the room is a standing screen set to the side, a painted scene on its silk surface, and a low table sits in the center. I realize this room is the one I first met Rin in. The nine-tail herself, in a blue and wintry dress, sits on several cushions near the back of the room. I see her white hair is done up delicately in a way that compliments her fox ears. She looks every bit the ruler of this mountain, her presence noble and poise graceful, though her gaze is icy.

"Sit," she waves. "We have much to discuss after sharing a meal."

There are two smaller cushions set around the table, and Saki, after shutting the door-wall, moves to take the seat closest to Rin. I walk to the one directly across from the master of the house and assume the respectful sitting position that my knees hate.

Once I'm settled, Rin softly claps her hands once. Door-walls open and in come two more kitsune, the golden haired Shizuka and two-tailed Miki, each carrying two trays. Finely made dishes laden with food are set before us, along with cups and hashi, the eating sticks. Shizuka places my dishes, but I pay the golden haired seven-tail no attention. I watch Rin with calm focus instead, trying to gauge the nine-tail's thoughts from her placid face.

With the dishes laid out and their task complete, the two serving kitsune leave the way they came. A tail lightly brushes against my back as they go but I ignore it. I keep my eyes on Rin until she waves. "Eat," she says, picking up her pair of hashi. "Don't hold back."

Breaking my gaze away from Rin, I look at the food before me. Rice, a grain for the wealthy in this land, and some sort of filleted fish make up the bulk of the meal. Pickled vegetables sit to the side, arranged in shapes that remind me of flowers. I pick up one of my cups, smell rice wine, and set the drink back down. I work on the meal with my hashi, falling back on the lessons Rin gave me. If I'm making any mistakes she won't let me know. All of us are too focused on the meal in front of us. The taste of perfectly cooked fish and crunch of vegetables go well together, or perhaps that's only because this is the first meal I've had today. I pick the fishbones as clean as I can, wary of accidentally swallowing any, and work on the rice. My stomach no longer empty, that rice wine starts to tempt me, but memories of this morning stop me.

Finished with the meal, I sit back and see that Saki got done before me. There are only fish bones and skin before her, not even a grain of rice left on her dish. Rin eats slower, more deliberately, and I take great care not to watch her. To be polite, certainly, but mostly because I don't want my mind distracted by her teeth.

Eventually the nine-tail finishes. When she does, she claps her hands, summoning Shizuka and Miki back. They gather everything up and leave quietly. Once the two serving kitsune are gone, Rin looks to Saki and asks, "Has he learned our secret?"

"Yes, eldest sister," the eight-tail bows subserviently. "And he swore, three times, not to betray us."

I do so again, Rin's eyes snapping to me. I stare into her as I thrice speak the same vow I made to Saki. A dangerous, broad oath I will uphold. "I won't betray you or your sisters."

"I see," Rin says, tilting her head to regard me with something approaching curiosity. There's still a coldness in her gaze, but it's softer after my vow. "Your belief in that oath is strong. I will trust your word, Egil."

"I won't break it," I declare. If that pleases her, I can't tell. But it doesn't seem to offend her.

"You know of Taro and the kappa striking a deal with Kenta?" Rin asks, to which I nod. "Good. Then I henceforth forbid both of you from moving against Kenta without my permission."

My jaw tightens, and from the way Saki's tails stop moving I know it's a surprise to her as well. Instead of throwing myself and my words against Rin's will, I make myself breathe slowly and think. With how often my thoughts have turned to the nine-tail, I can't say she lacks power over me. I could leave and act on my own, but what would that accomplish? I nearly died to kappa mere days ago, foes I've fought three times now, and I know next to nothing about oni. Certain as I am that Kenta will be a much worse battle, I settle on trying to be sensible. I ask, "Will you explain why, Rin? Wouldn't it be wise for us to attack soon?"

Rin lifts a sleeve to her mouth, head tilting to the other side as she regards me. "Because of the kappa, Kenta will have eaten his favored meal recently," she says, the disdain for the man-eater torturing her voice and eyes. Her visceral hate for them might match my own now. "He will avoid you. But not for long. As much as it pains us all, we will wait before attempting anything."

I can tell she's smiling behind her sleeve, but there's no kindness in her eyes. It's the vicious, harsh snarl of a ruler acting brutal out of necessity. "If," Rin continues, "you start making regular trips to the village, we can trick Kenta. Ease him into believing you visit the village to help my sisters in watching over and maintaining the village through winter and early spring. He's cautious, but if we have it look like you are acting to help my family, his arrogance and greed will have him send Meiko to catch you."

"If he is cautious," I say, "wouldn't he see that I'm being used as bait?"

"He will be suspicious," she acknowledges. "But he must suspect you played a part in stopping his plan to gain power over Saki. Or he will start to think you are aiding us in preparing for the fateful day Meiko becomes strong enough to break them free. All it will take is for him to realize you aren't leaving this mountain and that you are helping us, then he will decide you must die or risk all of his carefully crafted plans."

"You want his caution and hunger to be his undoing," I guess, watching the nine-tail to see if my summary of her plan is correct. She nods ever so slightly, encouraging me to continue. "He won't know exactly what I can do, only that I've stopped several kappa and that I'm allowed into your home. That I can be a thorn in his foot if he doesn't do something about me."

"Yes," she hisses into her sleeve. "If the kappa told him tales of you, then he will want you gone before he tries to escape his prison."

I nod, liking this plan, unconcerned with how it puts me in danger. The hard part, whether Rin knows it or not, will be in dealing with Kenta once we find him. Nothing is more dangerous than a clever predator in its territory. And this is one that's eluded all of these kitsune for who knows how long. I suspect we'll get only one chance at this.

Saki's tails squirm. "And then we strike when Meiko approaches Egil?" she asks, only to cast her eyes down, as if believing she spoke out of place.

Rin waves the hand she's been keeping in front of her mouth and says, "You are an equal in this talk, little sister. Do not apologize for speaking. Speak freely and openly."

"Yes, eldest sister," Saki bows.

The nine-tail, her many fluffy tails swaying behind her, returns her sleeve to just in front of her mouth. "However, you are wrong, little sister. We will not strike right away." Rin looks to me. "I wonder if you understand what I plan by having us wait, Egil," she says, my name sharp on her tongue.

I breathe out instead of grinding my jaw. "You want to make Kenta and Meiko desperate. Foolish enough to take risks to get rid of me."

"A good guess," Rin nods, before shaking her head slowly. "You are wrong as well. I want to make them complacent, have Kenta certain that he can get rid of you, hurt my family, and feed his dark hunger. What happened to the village is a tragedy, but we can use that." Her voice softens, so slightly I hardly notice it. "If the villagers knew the truth, I believe they would encourage us to play this trickery."

There's a glisten in her eyes, a flash of pain she can't hide right away. I'm glad I've kept my anger down, or I would have missed that crack in the kitsune's polite mask. It keeps me from speaking too willfully. "This," I say, "is a plan I will agree with."

"As will I," Saki says.

"Good. I had worried I would need to convince both of you." Rin lowers her hand into her lap, turning her gaze to Saki. "Little sister, you have fought with Egil by your side. Will he be of use to you in a fight against Kenta?"

The eight-tail stares at the table, tips of her tails flicking about. "Yes."

"Are you certain? I do not want injuries," Rin says, a wave of realization crashing down on me from the top of my head to my tortured knees. She's still concerned about me.

Saki's mouth opens, silent for a few heartbeats before speaking. "I'm confident he can fight smaller foes and walk away safely. Against an oni, I do not know."

"What should I expect from Kenta?" I ask.

Saki looks to Rin, who nods at the younger kitsune. The eight-tail stands up and raises her hand high above her head, nearly touching the ceiling. "A tall beast with skin red as blood, and shaped like a man," she says. "Stronger than the two of us, but not as nimble. Magic, rituals that feed on suffering to corrupt and twist his domain to his liking, but nothing that will matter in a fight." The kitsune's hand lowers back to her side, and she returns to her seat, tails swirling in a strange way.

“Are you sure about that magic of his?" I ask, beginning to worry.

“Yes," she nods. "Unless he captures you, you won't have to worry about his magic. Meiko has the only magic that would be of use in a fight. Kenta can't draw out the power of her star ball without a lot of preparation, but he can force her to aid him. My sisters will be distracting and confounding her, and we can prepare a few defenses for you."

Meiko took me down once before and would have had me if it weren't for Rin. I'll have to trust that the magic of my allies will be enough, or else the entire plan will be in ruins. "Would we attack him from the start?" I ask, knowing this will be a battle against two opponents, one of which is practically a hostage. "Or try to lure him away, separate him and Meiko?"

Saki looks to Rin, but she only waves dismissively. The eight-tail leans her head back, lost deep in thought for many moments. Eventually, she tilts her snout down and says, "He will have Meiko's star ball on him. As a necklace or hidden in his clothes, if he wears any. We must get it away from him, before anything else."

"To free a hostage," I guess, to which she nods. I mull it over for a moment, knowing that stealing an object in a fight won't be easy at all. But if we know what to look for and have some luck, it won't be impossible. I decide to make that a matter for another time, which lets me think through the rest of what her plan might be. “We do that and we have one less worry when fighting him. Maybe even free up whoever you have blocking Meiko, depending on how she responds to being freed."

"Yes," the serious faced eight-tail nods. "I plan to attack Kenta with at least three of us, but even with numbers and no Meiko to worry about, he is strong and tough. We will want to fight Kenta cautiously, wear him down instead of going for a quick kill."

I mull over everything she's told me about the oni. "-Sounds like a giant,-" I mutter under my breath, in a tongue neither of them know. Before they take offense, I speak in a way they'll understand. "An oni sounds like something I fought once. A giant of a man with red hair and a lumpy face, in a horrible land with more desert caves than people. Ten trained men with spears lost half their number fighting it. Even the meanest bear would have died five times over by the time we finally killed this giant."

Two kitsune stare at me, brown eyes keenly interested while blue eyes are wary.

"I believe an oni will be easier to fight," Saki says. "Hibiki, Kumiko, and I once fought an oni a head shorter than Kenta, so we know what to do. You have experience with a similar foe. I believe the four of us will fare better than soldiers trained to fight men."

I nod, appreciating this side of the eight-tail. "That's high praise coming from you, Saki."

"I am certain of your skills, but if we spar, I can be more certain of how we will fare against Kenta," Saki says, angling her face toward Rin, the eight-tail's gaze shifting between us.

The master of the house leans back, quietly considering her sister's words. Rin stares down at me, her face utterly placid. It feels as if I'm looking at a mask carved in her likeness and not the nine-tailed kitsune I know. Her head faintly cocks to one side and she says, "Then spar once you're both healed. I am certain you two will enjoy it." The sharp bitterness in her voice makes my eye twitch.

I don't give into my rising irritation. I tell myself the anger is nothing compared to my aches and bruises. Now that I've admitted to myself I care for Rin, in some manner, what will I accomplish by fighting? Nothing that will help. So I sit and chew my words, trying to find exactly what to say.

Saki, who's looking down at the table again, finds something to say before me. "Sister, if it is not about Kenta or Meiko, may I still speak freely?"

"Yes," Rin says, waving dismissively while glaring at me.

Saki bends into a sitting bow, eyes looking down as she says, "I cannot stand to see this rift grow any deeper between you two."

"There is no rift," Rin says, her polite tone menacing as her eyes snap away from me to start boring into her sister. In the light of the lanterns, it looks as if Rin's eyes are trying to glow with the same blue fire that I've seen on her tails.

"I am not wise to the matters of the heart, I never have been." She looks up, between us both. Saki considers my confused brow and Rin's frowning annoyance before continuing. "Yet even I know there is a rift between you two. And I fear I continue to make it worse."

That's nonsense. My silence and stubbornness has caused this more than anything else. "I don't think-" a sharp sound from the master of the house stops me from arguing.

"Quiet," Rin commands, eyes snapping toward me before slowly turning back to Saki. "Explain yourself, sister."

The eight-tail's ears flatten, her composure wilting under her eldest sister's stare. "I know you love Egil and desire him," she utters. A wave of discomfort courses through Rin's composure, starting at her flicking ear and going to her swaying tails, but Saki finds the will to continue after dropping her eyes to the floor and hunching her shoulders. "I also know that I am causing you pain, sister." The visibly upset eight-tail dips into a lower bow. "But I swear to you again, I did not know your heart when I offered him my life, just as he did not understand what I meant."

"He knew," Rin utters.

"Sister, are you certain of that? Egil is..." one of Saki's ears tilts toward me, then turns back down to the floor. "Despite all of his cunning, he is blind and stubborn about certain matters."

I squeeze my jaw shut. No one in this room can deny her judgment of me after all that has happened.

Yet Rin shakes her head anyway. "He understood you were offering yourself as his wife to earn his help rescuing Meiko. That is why he did not accept your-"

"What?" I half-shout, jaw loosening up only after the shocked word leaves my mouth. Saki jerks up from her bow and Rin's ears twist toward me. My heart beats loudly in my ears and my vision is trying to lose its color. Caught between shock and bitter acknowledgment of hints I should have put together sooner, I ultimately find the shift in conversation more upsetting to me than the revelation. We should be planning for what must be done, not doing this.

"Do you want to deny it?" the nine-tail coldly asks. "Saki told me of the offer she made before we talked."

I stand up, hoping that will make it easier to breathe. My heart's beating loudly, and against all politeness, I find myself pacing in the room. "How was I supposed to know that Saki offered herself that way?" I ask, far too loudly. "I've heard offers like hers in a dozen cultures, and it's always been meant as a servant or a life debt. Saki has been nothing but a dutiful, dedicated warrior and sister! Why would I ever think she'd offer something like that to a man such as me? She's been watching me carefully since I came here, yes, but as a protector of this family - she put a knife to my throat when I lost control of myself and grabbed you, Rin! We're closer now, but as warriors who survived and fought well together, nothing more."

I breathe in carefully, stopping myself from shouting more. I look between the two kitsune, and with the way Saki is hunching forward, her ears twisted and tails bunched up, I have a horrible thought. I've been lying to myself about her real intentions. She has been warming up to me, bit by bit, ever since I came back from the village with a broken arm. She's said nothing in incidents where she should have as the family protector, and has spoken more and more freely with me in seemingly every conversation. What have my frightened, shocked words done to her?

"Egil," Rin sharply says, and I notice her looking between me and the now prostrating eight-tail. "Do you honestly expect me to believe you speak truthfully?"

“I'm daring to hope you will. You haven't asked me to leave, after all."

“Whether I believe you remains to be seen," she scowls. “I'll listen, but no more."

"Why would I lie?" I shake my head, the situation so surreal it feels like a fevered dream. How did a conversation about dealing with a man-eater and their family's tragedy turn into this?

"Saki's intentions slipped entirely past me," I continue, before either of them can speak. "As I said, I thought she was offering herself as some sort of servant, not as a wife. I know you hinted that she might do that, Rin, to secure my help. But I thought you meant she'd offer after we spoke. But Saki hasn't offered any other oaths, even though she's convinced I saved her and her star ball." I stop and pace back and forth a few times, trying to collect my thoughts. "Rin, I'd prepared myself to come talk to you if any of your sisters tried to make an offer like that. What sort of friend would I be if I didn't? If I'd known what Saki meant, I would have said something about it."

I rub my hands down my face, through my short beard, a cold realization chilling my bones when I see her strained face. "Ancestors in your halls. Rin, is this why you're angry? Have you thought I tried to deceive you about this, because I favored her over you or something?"

All hints of calm flake away from the nine-tail. Her mouth turns down and blue eyes ice over with disbelief. I hate to see that I'm only now discovering the truth, and not when it mattered more. "You would not tell me that she offered herself to you, even after I all but confronted you with it," Rin says, voice growing louder with each word. "Now you claim you don't know what her offer meant? That you haven't been getting closer to her while saying nothing about what I confessed to you? And you avoid me day after day, then when you get your arm back you run off to help her perform her duty!" she shouts wildly.

"Eldest sister, that isn't-"

"You stay quiet," the nine-tail snaps, causing Saki to hit her head against the floor in apology. Glacier blue eyes stare right through me as Rin breathes in deeply.

I match her glare with an apologetic look, all while refusing to bow my head. There's anger, wild and unfocused, in her eyes. But it's tempered by the calm understanding I've grown to like about her. Her shoulders sag and she breathes, her tails lashing as she tries to speak in a quieter voice. "Egil. Tell me. Explain how this was a misunderstanding before I ask you to leave my home and mountain."

"It is a misunderstanding," I insist. "I'll swear that as many times as you want, Rin. I wouldn't have said what I did on that night if I understood Saki's offer. Because even before I knew about this, I've regretted letting you run out. Regretted that I'm too weak to tell myself that I," the words stumble off my tongue, before gushing out like from a fresh wound, “I care for you in some way! If I'd known I was hurting you, or what any of this meant, I would have treated the conversation entirely differently. I wouldn't have wallowed in my..." my throat clenches, choking off my voice as my tongue fails.

I've talked my way through the lands of faeries. I've walked more lands than I can remember on my long journey westward. Found myself in more battles than I want to remember and came out alive every time. But now, of all times, I choke up, unable to say anything more. I can only rub my brow, wiping away a cold sweat as I wonder why I'm so weak and foolish in matters like this. I could walk out the door, away from all of this, but then I'd abandon the friend I've grown closest to in this land and the warrior I've forged a connection with. I'd stray off the path I chose for myself.

Rin seems as troubled as I am, the nine-tailed kitsune looking down at the back of her hands, shoulders limp. Saki is no better, hunched forward in a painful and apologetic prostration, her forehead flat against the floor.

"I see," Rin mutters, voice polite and completely emotionless. I know her calm is forced, and that on the inside of her chest, there must be a violent storm. "Egil, you may leave for your room if you want. This evening has taken a turn I believe none of us expected. Speaking another time when our hearts and heads are clear may be wise."

It would be so easy to go to the door-wall and head back to the room I've been given. I think that as I shuffle my feet back to the cushion and bend down on knees that pop, as if protesting the position I'm about to sit in. Once I'm seated, I say, "I'm not running away. Not this time."

Saki's bushel of tails fidgets. "Should I leave?"

"That depends on whether Egil wishes to hear the rest of what you haven't said, dear sister," Rin replies.

I grip my knees so tightly that it hurts, my weak and bruised arm shaking some. "If it will settle this, she might as well speak," I sigh, wanting this all to end.

The eight-tail's ears flick, but she remains apologetic on the floor. "I-"

"Saki," Rin utters, her quiet voice silencing her sister. "Raise your head. Tell him what I made you tell me. About your reason for offering him such a thing."

Obeying her older sister, Saki sits back on her knees, her spine straight and eyes staring at the floor. "I would not have made that offer if I knew you desired Egil, eldest sister. I have been careful ever since, even as I grow to respect Egil and what he can do."

"Please speak, little sister," Rin asks, a hint of pleading creeping into her voice. "My anger is fleeting, so long as truth is spoken."

The eight-tail goes still. She doesn't even seem to breathe, and her eyes won't leave her lap. Like she's prey that knows there is no escape. Rin sighs heavily, causing Saki to flinch. Seeing a strong warrior reduced to nothing but a fearful woman hurts something deep inside me. Have I ever looked like that, or do I hide it better?

I feel blue eyes on me, urging me to say something. I meet Rin's demanding stare and am hopelessly lost, with no stars or sun to guide me to the correct path. Picking my words with great care I ask, "If we are to clear this confusion and trust one another, I want to hear from you, Saki. What did you mean that day when you tried to make an oath to me? What were your honest thoughts?"

Eight fox tails writhe on the floor before coiling up in a bunch. She picks her words with more caution than even I did. "I wanted to save Meiko," she says woodenly. "I wanted your help, by any means."

Rin noisily folds her hands into her sleeves. "That is not all you told me, little sister," she says, words pointed.

"My deepest apologies, I am not familiar with speaking like this," Saki bows, shoulders seeming to tremble as she straightens up. "I fear my words will not be easy to say or hear."

"I believe we want to hear you no matter what," Rin says, looking sharply at me.

"We do," I nod.

The eight-tail has none of the usual severity about her as she works her jaw for a moment. When she does manage to speak again, it's quiet and soft. "Egil," she whispers, "I have watched you with suspicion since you came here. You could have been a threat to my family, even worse than Kenta. I won't apologize for putting a knife to your neck or for my dutiful suspicion," she nods her head into a bow anyway, "but I now know I was wrong. About you. You are certainly dangerous, but you don't want power or favor. I thought it would be safe to offer myself to you, as I believed you would treat me fairly." She starts moving her hands to lay atop one another, but curls her fingers up when her arms shake. "Y-you," her voice wavers, "have never once looked upon me with disdain or disgust. Warily, yes, but always respectfully."

I'm not sure I trust her, or Rin's, judgment of me when they allowed Kenta to marry Meiko. But I accept the explanation with a nod, wondering if I should say anything. If I can even get my throat to open up and tongue to move.

"Unfortunately," Saki continues, even quieter than before, "I did not know Rin felt so deeply for you." She shakes her head slowly. "Yet now I know eldest sister desires you and you care for her, so I will never act so disrespectfully again. Speaking my heart now will only cause more pain."

I glance toward the nine-tail. Her fingers are clenching at the knees of her dress, and she's shaking her head ponderously. "Why can you not tell him exactly as you told me?" Rin sighs tiredly, shoulders slumping. It's as if anger has become too much for her, and all that is left is exhaustion. "Egil is wise, but as you suggested, he is foolish and dull when he wants to be. He asks us to speak plainly because he needs it."

"What your eldest sister says about me," I begin, looking to the younger kitsune, "has truth to it, Saki. It is better to tell me plainly than leave me guessing. So if there is more, speak freely. Let there be no secrets when we must fight together to save Meiko. When we must trust one another completely."

The dangerous kitsune, whom I've seen stand so firmly against danger, curls inward. Physically and emotionally. "I swore to protect and watch out for Rin," she utters. "To speak so freely will hurt her more than I already have."

"My dear little sister, you know I don't hold you to that oath," Rin sighs, leaving her cushions and scooting to Saki. The older kitsune lays her hands on the eight-tail's shoulders and uses several tails to try and comfort the emotional Saki. "Speak, please. Forget all duty, for me and yourself, if but for a moment."

Saki's mouth opens and closes in several false starts. Until, with a weak, pathetic mutter, she says, "He knows I desire him. So why make me say it and hurt you, Rin?"

I close my eyes and breathe in, as deep as I can. I let it out slowly, releasing my tense grip on my knees. Saki is right, I do know. Perhaps I should have realized much sooner, but all that has happened suggests I'm too dull or willfully ignorant to see what lies in a kitsune's heart. "Tonight has not been what I expected," I mumble under my breath. Loud enough to hear, I say, "I had guessed you've felt something for me, Saki. I didn't want to acknowledge what I saw. I'm sorry, to both of you. This is something I let fester instead of facing properly."

"I am most sorry," Saki says, shrinking from her sister's touch and trying to shuffle away. The eight-tail's spine straightens, but she can't look me in the eye. She can only stare at the wall. "I think it would be best if I leave. So you two might talk without my interference."

"Egil and I can talk later. Right now we need you to speak, even if it is difficult, my dear little sister," Rin soothes, putting on a comforting smile. Even if the nine-tail is still upset, it doesn't seem to matter when faced with deep concern for her sister. "Please, Saki. Do not torment yourself by keeping this a secret only I know."

Sitting still as a stone, her face pointed at a wall, Saki's mouth slowly opens. "Of course I desire him and have grown to respect him. What I felt before feels childish after he and I went to the village," she says, voice hollow, as if she's speaking to herself in an empty hall. "He sees me as a woman and a warrior without contempt or disgust, as if he wants to see and accept what I truly am."

I breathe in painfully slowly. Rin wanted me to see her as she is, to see the hair she's hidden. Does Saki want to do the same? Is she, unlike Rin, someone who can't open up at all with words? Or had her timing been bad, her offer to be my wife coming before her feelings deepened to the point she'd be this morose?

"I'm sorry for bringing strife to your family," I exhale.

"You've done no such thing," Rin says. "I would say the three of us do nothing but bring misery to ourselves."

A few quiet moments later, Saki stirs from her malaise. She struggles to open her mouth, her bundled up tails quivering. "May I go now?" she pleads.

Rin closes her eyes. She must sense that this has come to an end, even if there is no resolution. "Only if you promise to come to the morning meal. We still need your help to prepare Egil for facing Kenta."

The eight-tail nods, then rises to her feet. She stumbles, and I'm starting to rise to catch her before any thoughts cross my mind. But Saki steadies herself, and with a pained glance at me, hurries to a door-wall. Wood hisses and she vanishes outside without so much as another glimpse back. The screen clatters shut, and I sit back down. I feel just as terrible as I did on that night Rin ran out, but this time I know that following her would only make it worse. The agony I saw in those brown eyes remind me too much of myself when I need to be alone.

Trying to accept that there's nothing I can do about the eight-tail right now, I contemplate what's happened. The last few days seem dreamlike, the kind of dreams where I wake shaking and clenching my teeth. I didn't think I'd miss the days when my arm was splinted and I had to rely on Rin or one of her sisters to do something as simple as hold a bowl and eat out of it.

"Egil," Rin says, reminding me that there is still a kitsune in the room with me. I meet her stare, and she continues, voice weary, "I am not going to ask you to make a decision between us. Saki will calm down on her own, and she'll do what she must to help us get your strength back."

I nod, then ask what's on my mind. "You're still upset, aren't you?"

The kitsune is slow to respond. "Yes," she admits. "But what good has anger done me?" She sighs. "What good has it done any of us?"

"I'm sorry," I say, ignoring the twinge of fear that comes with those words. "I could have avoided all of this if I'd spoken with you instead of pretending the world didn't exist."

She's caught off guard, the direction her tails sway suddenly switching and her head drawing back. "We both could have avoided all of this," she says, curling a few tails into her lap. "Perhaps we should talk tomorrow. Once we've all slept and have clearer heads."

"Before that," I slowly begin, waiting for her gradual nod before continuing, "I have a rude and ignorant question."

"We're both too worn down for politeness," she says into her hand. "Speak and we will deal with whatever happens."

"Are we still friends? Or has that changed?"

"If I were a cruel liar, I'd say we are not nor will we ever be again," she mutters. Her hand slides down her muzzle, and weary blue eyes look right at me. "But I've thought too much about what you said to me. That I should not lie to myself." She looks up, at the ceiling. "And I trapped myself by saying I'm too tired for duty."

"You don't have to give me an answer," I say, giving her a way out.

"I have much to think about," she says. "But I owe you an answer now."

Blue eyes meet mine at last, and I see the Rin that exists beyond all of her politeness and duty. A tired, lonely woman with too many burdens looks right at me, if not through every defense I have. What she sees in me I don't know, but I wish I did. “Egil, I would like to go back if we can. To being friends, since I see no hope for anything more."

The thump of my heart twists and turns. “I have a lot to think about, Rin. What I do know is that it would please me to say I'm your friend."

“Then let us have at least that," she says, trying to smile. It's half-hearted, but I can't hold it against her.

"Thank you," I nod. “If there's nothing else for us to discuss, I should take my leave so you can rest."

"Go on," she weakly waves. "But please, come to the morning meal tomorrow. I won't be so vile to you this time."

"I'll be there. We can start fresh tomorrow, I hope," I say, standing up and going to the door-wall.

"We will. But as for my sister," the nine-tail exhales, "I fear that damage may linger."

"Rin-"

"Ignore me," she says, waving for me to go. "We can talk tomorrow."

I want to say something, but I can't. I shamefully nod and step out into an empty hallway, gently shutting the door-wall behind me to not make much noise. Softly glowing lanterns light the way back to my room, and while I wonder who lit them, I don't much care. If my gut feeling is right, I have a long, miserable night ahead of me with little hope for sleep.