FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Janice smiled as she looked across at her roommate's bed. It was good to see the bear lying there. She had fought with the school for her to stay. It was a straightforward argument: since she couldn't get back to Sweden nor afford housing on her own and it would cost the school nothing extra, it would be best for her to return to sharing her original dorm room, where her roommate could keep an eye on her, plus the good press of the school continuing to support the victim of that horrible atrocity that happened on campus. Standing up for her friend had the added benefit of getting a compliment from the dean on her skills and future as a lawyer. She sat up and stared at the bear's brown furred back, down to her short tail. She had pulled her sheet into a ball and was hugging it; Janice stood up and stepped across the small space to try to pull the sheet free and cover her friend, but the bear pulled it back. She gave in and put her paw on her friend's shoulder comfortingly.

Eletta put her paw on the rabbit's and looked up at her friend pleadingly.

Janice was glad that she had also argued to have her own attendance be forgiven from all her classes this semester. She crawled onto the bed and wrapped herself around the bear, snuggling comfortingly with her friend.

Jake pushed the big green button on the new machine and watched as it blinked a yellow light and displayed “Processing… Preparing testing chamber…"

“Looks like it's working. Don't forget to focus on your client. The machine should be secondary to the person." The old fox smiled encouragingly from beside the desk.

“Right. I'm just still getting used to it."

“Janice's protocol suggestions were very good. I could see a lot of what Gary did naturally in there. It's too bad she can't help us with it more."

“She has her paws full at the moment. Besides, she told me I need to learn to work with people on my own and she was right."

“Well, I'm eager to help." The young fox girl smiled from her seat on the other side of the desk. “Janice was a great teacher and I'm ready to step up."

Mr. Griffin smirked at her, “You're supposed to be pretending to be a client."

“Sorry." She scrunched her face playfully, “So, did you find out if I have any rabbit relatives?"

Jake chuckled under his breath, “I seriously doubt it."

The old fox stepped around the desk. “I think we have lost the momentum on this practice. Ms. Rävaktig, you can go back to the front desk and we'll call you when we're ready again."

She sighed defeatedly and left the room.

Crandall closed the door behind her, then sat down in the chair she had vacated. “You won't get better without practice and it's better to practice with people that understand. The clients will be less forgiving."

“I know. I just…" Jake sat down with a sigh.

The fox leaned forward. “She reminds you of Christy, doesn't she?"

He looked up, worried about what the fox was thinking.

“I noticed it, too. She has similar coloring and markings and her genetics will keep her small, but Christy would have grown, even in just two years."

“Why did we have to hire a fox?"

“We didn't, but Janice liked her and you said she was perfect."

“I don't know what I was thinking."

“You were thinking about Christy."

“Maybe that's a reason we shouldn't have hired her."

“She's doing a great job, a quick learner. You need to stop blaming yourself."

“But it is my fault." He regretted it as soon as he said it.

Crandall shook his head. “I went through this with the Harstleins and myself. There's nothing that you could have done differently; no matter how much you wish it. Blaming yourself won't change the past. All we can do is learn from our loss and try to help others. People come here for many different reasons, but they're all asking for help. It's not just your job; it's an opportunity for you to salve your soul by giving them some answers. It won't always be the answers that they want, but it will be the truth, so they can rest easier."

Jake nodded, “If I knew where she went, I could rest easier."

“We all could." The old fox sat back in the chair and folded his paws across his middle. “Now you need to practice giving that comfort to others, even if they're a fox that looks just like her."

Jake nodded solemnly, hoping he could do it. A message popped up on the screen and he checked it. “Grim is here… to see you."

Crandall sighed and nodded as he got up. “I know why. It showed up last night."

“What did?"

When he opened the door, Rosie tried to intervene, “Mr. Griffin, Mr. Grimley was…"

“Crandall." The grey rat held up four large bags. “I want to thank you for all you've done."

The fox took the bags and passed them to Rosie without a glance. “You didn't have to do this."

“I did. You supported me through the worst time in my life."

“I just wish it could have been better news." He wrapped his arms around the rat and held him tight.

“It was. It was. I'm glad he wasn't suffering someplace."

“Well, if you ever need to talk about him, you know how to reach me."

“I do. I just wanted to ask something."

The fox pushed back to look at his old friend. “Anything."

“Don't tell me. The Guard said they were waiting on confirmation from you, but I already know. I don't want to hear the proof."

“I sent our response this morning, but you won't hear anything more from me. Do you want me to contact the Guard and tell them?"

“No. Thank you. I can tell them when they contact me. You've done so much. And your team." He smiled at Jake and Rosie. “Where's Janice? I brought her eggplant."

Jake spoke up. “She's back on campus. I can bring it to her."

“Well, say hi for me and good luck with her studies. She's going to make an amazing lawyer." He smiled at his old fox friend again and patted his arm, then turned and walked out the door.

“I… will." Jake watched him go.

“What happened?"

Mr. Griffin looked to Rosie, then sighed. “His brother was recently found in a mass grave of morphs in Utah. They're pretty sure he died shortly after he went missing."

“That's horrible. Why was he thanking you for that?"

“Because I cared."

“Because sometimes even bad news can be good to hear."

The old fox reached back to put his paw on Jake's shoulder. “You've been listening."

“I still hope for good news."

“We all do." He rubbed the young man's shoulder comfortingly.

“Who are you looking for?"

Mr. Griffin smirked at the young fox. “You need to learn how to get answers without asking questions."

“How do I do that?"

“Listening, watching, practice. Speaking of," he turned to Jake and gestured to the office, “Let's talk about how you can learn from what you've seen of Grim." They headed in but he stopped at the door. “Rosie, bring in some of that food and don't forget to pack up a bag for Janice."

The rabbit opened her eyes and realized that she had fallen asleep wrapped around her friend. She idly stroked the bear's belly, but Eletta quickly caught her paw. “What's wrong? I thought you loved belly rubs."

She pulled her friend's paw up to her chest and hugged it. “I'm just… I'm just not ready to feel good, yet."

“Oh bear. That's what you need: to feel good, so you stop feeling bad." She squeezed her friend. “You remember after my incident how you were there for me and kept trying to make me do things that I liked?"

“And you didn't."

“I was still thinking about what happened and I still do, but you helped me get up to where I could function again by not giving up on me and I'm not going to give up on you."

“You should. I'm getting in the way of your classes."

“Don't worry about that. I already took care of them. You should at least eat something. We can get some of your favorites from the caf."

“I'm not hungry."

“Not even for a peanut butter, honey, and banana sandwich?"

“What about you? You haven't been eating either."

“I haven't felt like eating much. I get nauseous just thinking about eating. I think it's from all the stress."

“I'm sorry."

“No. It's not your fault. It's just with classes and the GMAL and everything, I feel like I need two of me."

Eletta thought about her news, still wondering how to tell her best friend. “Maybe you're pregnant."

The rabbit chuckled, “You know better than that. I'd have to have sex to get pregnant. Jake and I are waiting." There was a knock at the door and she slipped out of the bed to answer it. “I couldn't be pregnant any more than you could." She opened the door to find a young, brown haired woman. “Can I help you?"

She looked very nervous and clung to a notebook in her hands. “Is… Eletta here?"

Janice was suddenly very protective. “What do you want?"

“Well, I wanted to talk to her and apologize. It wasn't me; I don't remember any of it…"

“She's not ready to talk to anybody. Especially not you." She started to close the door.

“All I remember was somebody gave me an unlabeled bottle of yellow beer. I don't even remember drinking it, but there are pictures and videos of me doing those horrible things and…"

“Just go. When she's ready to talk, she'll find you."

“Please, I wrote down as much as I could remember. I want to help. Don't ruin my life over this."

“What about Eletta's life? Yours is for the Guard to decide." Janice shoved the door shut and leaned against it as the woman cried in the hall. She exhaled her frustration and looked up to see Eletta standing in the middle of the room. “I'm sorry, bear. She shouldn't have come here like that."

Eletta slowly twiddled her claws around each other as she thought. “She said she had an unlabeled bottle of yellow beer."

“Yeah, she did."

“What if that was Gadrey's stuff?"

“That doesn't excuse what she did."

“But you know what it does."

“It doesn't matter." Janice put her paws on her friend's arms.

“It makes you horny and it makes you forget."

“And they all forgot what they did."

“So did you."

“What? I wasn't there; I was right here." Janice forced herself to remain calm.

“And Jake was here with us."

“What are you talking about?"

“Jake was here and we were celebrating with Gadrey's stuff and we forgot, but we all had dreams, just like them. You could be pregnant."

The last statement shocked the rabbit. “Are you trying to say that Jake raped me? He wouldn't."

“You drank it, too."

“W-what do you mean?"

Eletta grabbed her friend's elbows to hold her steady. “Maybe the dreams are real."

Janice thought about all the dreams she had let herself enjoy about Jake. They couldn't be real, because she was still here. She only let dream Jake finish because her dream self had already finished school; they were happily married and had a home together.

“What did you dream?"

“What?" Her dreams couldn't be real. She had so many, she would have noticed something.

“After that night, what was your dream?"

“I-I don't remember." She started to push past the bear to sit down, but her brain was over occupied.

“Yes, you do, because it keeps coming back. What was it?" Eletta pushed her friend to sit on her bed.

“I…" She tried to remember that one. She had pushed it aside. Dreams are supposed to pass, be forgotten. It was still there; some details were fuzzy, the things that changed each time, but she realized they were all the same in one way. “The dream, I … I was on Jake and he was in me, then you … You were on me, holding me down as Jake … Jake was on me and I wanted him…" She pulled the bear closer, then looked up at her as she thought about what it would mean if the dreams were real. “I begged him." She laid her face against her friend's belly and stared to cry, then gripped handfuls of bear fur, “I've ruined my life!"

Eletta cradled her friend's head against her belly feeling their roles suddenly reversed. “No. It's my fault. I gave you Gadrey's stuff and made you drink it. I shouldn't have done that with Jake here. I knew it would make you both horny. I … just wanted you both to relax and have some fun. I didn't mean to make him get you pregnant."

Janice held her breath as the parallel suddenly struck her. He didn't choose it, but she knew how he would feel. She knew that she would have to be strong. She knew that she couldn't run away. She leaned back and looked slowly from the bear's belly up to her face. “We have to be sure."

“I'm pretty sure." Jake smiled at the young fox sitting across the desk from him. “Morph genetics only allows for certain species to naturally breed together. It primarily follows the families of the animal kingdom, meaning most canines are compatible with each other, but not all. It also depends on the genetic bonding; animal based morphs are generally not compatible with human based. Human is the common link between all morphs, but it doesn't allow all morphs to interbreed. While a human, like myself, could get you pregnant, it's just not possible for a rabbit to give birth to a fox. Since all of Walter Elliot's children are rabbits, genetics just wouldn't allow for you to be his grandchild."

“So I'm not related to him?"

“If you turn out to be related, the connection would have to be further up his genetic line, like his parents or himself, but not any of his rabbit children."

“That was much better." Mr. Griffin pushed off the cabinet he had been leaning on. “Thank you, Ms. Rävaktig. Just a couple notes to discuss."

The young fox smiled at Jake as she got up and walked out to the front room.

Crandall sat down, then adjusted his tail. “First, don't shove the packet at the client. You want to present it gently while you're introducing it. Remember that they have probably never done anything like this before, so you want every part to be friendly and comforting, even if it feels like routine to you. Second," he glanced to the door to make sure she had closed it all the way behind her, “don't suggest to the client that you can get them pregnant."

“Did I?" Jake thought back over what he had said.

“You used yourself as an example of a human that could. I understand that you're a virile young man, but you need to keep thoughts like that out of your head."

“What? I wasn't." He started cleaning up the kit spread across the desk, hoping that Mr. Griffin would change the subject.

The old fox leaned forward. “She's not Christy."

“What?" Jake fumbled and the papers spilled back over the desk. “I-I know that, but what does she have to do with this?"

“I realized a while ago that the reason you're searching for her might be that you had a crush on her. It's okay; I understand. She was a wonderful young kit."

“That's… that's… that's silly. I'm a year older than her." He scooped the papers together and started sorting them back in order.

“It's not so silly. Gary was three years older than Jeandra and isn't Janice a couple years older than you?"

“Almost, but…"

“No buts. The only thing that might have gotten in the way of you two would be the Harstlein tradition of marrying foxes, but if she liked you, I doubt Alfred or Ginger would have stood in the way. I think she would like you and we know Alf and my sis do."

“Um, thanks." The affirmation was only making him feel worse about himself.

“I would have been very happy to have met you under better circumstances. Just remember that this fox, as cute as she is, isn't Christy."

“I know." He tried to keep his guilt buried deep as he put their practice packet back in the front of the drawer. “I'm in love with Janice now."

“Keep that in mind. You'll meet lots of interesting and attractive people in this job and some of them will even flirt with you for one reason or another, but you have to remain professional. Only once did I ever see Gary waver." He chuckled as he thought. “A young and very attractive mink came in to check her ancestry and find out who she might be compatible with. Halfway through, he opened the intercom and let me listen to her practically throwing herself at him. I tried not to laugh at her attempts, but I got the hint that he wanted to be interrupted and reminded him of an appointment he didn't have. After she left, he tried to call Jeandra, but she wasn't answering. I could tell the mink got to him and he was looking for a mental interruption."

“What did you do?" Jake was glad the subject was changed.

Crandall smiled, proudly and reminiscently, “I kissed him."

“I thought you said…"

“Oh, we never did anything. It shocked him, then he laughed and thanked me. It seemed like a bit of magic. We didn't really ever talk about it, but after that, he seemed much more relaxed and comfortable. No other flirtations could touch him, he was more generous with hugs for me, and Jeandra said he was much more attentive at home after that, with chores and passions, though I never told her why. I'm not sure which would have bothered her more back then, the mink or me. She knows all about how much I loved him now and is glad for it."

“Your kiss straightened him out?"

“You're not my type, but if you can't keep it together…" The fox shook his finger mockingly.

“I'm fine. I'm fine."

“Make sure Janice knows that. She works really hard and it can be good to remind her how much you appreciate her."

“I do."

“And that she's the one you want to make bunnies with." Mr. Griffin winked.

Jake blushed as he thought about when they would finally be able to start a family together.

Janice stared at the two plastic sticks in her paws, wishing one of them would answer her questions. “How long has it been?"

“I think about two minutes." Eletta sat on the edge of her bed, starting intently at the rabbit sitting on the edge of hers.

Time wasn't cooperating; she needed to know. She needed… Something happened. One of the sticks showed a plus. She dropped it on the floor and stared at the other as it showed a check mark and a rabbit. That little rabbit meant she had a little rabbit. She had Jake's little rabbit. She put a paw on her belly and stared at it, hoping a different answer would arrive.

Eletta picked up the discarded pregnancy test and looked at the plus. Her best friends were having a baby. It was hard enough for Janice to deal with her own; she knew it wouldn't be good to tell her secret now. If it had been negative, she could have offered to be a surrogate, since Janice wasn't ready, but now, she was just more bad news. “What are you going to do?"

Janice looked up at her friend, still trying to believe the truth. “I can't do anything."

“What do you mean?"

“I can't… I can't tell Jake. I can't keep it. I can't get rid of it. I can't stop it. I can't… I just can't." She stared flustered at the little rabbit, unable to think.

Eletta knew all the same can'ts, but right now she needed to help her friend. “What do you want?"

Janice looked up at the bear in front of her. She knew the answers to that question, but asked anyway. She must have a solution, but Janice couldn't see it. She wished the bear would just say it, but she had to answer first. “I want to finish my degree and become a lawyer, then marry Jake and raise a family. I want to be happy."

“So do it."

Janice held up the offensive stick. “I can't now. It's all messed up."

Eletta took the pregnancy test from her friend. “This is one of the things you want. Just take care of the others."

“I can't go to school and raise a baby and we're supposed to get married first!"

“Who says?"

“Everybody!"

“I don't. I say you've got the family coming now, so marry Jake and he can help raise the baby while you finish school."

“What if he doesn't want to?"

Eletta smirked, “Does he want to?"

Janice froze. She knew there was no need to ask that question. He had talked fondly about raising her kids, their bunnies. He had said many times that he looked forward to caring for them while she worked. She was the one that thought kids would get in the way. She was the one that wanted to wait. She was the one that was afraid.

“Well?"

“Eletta… I want to."

“You want to what?"

“I want to have this baby and marry Jake and finish school."

“So do it."

“But… How do I tell Jake?" Her phone chimed and she jumped, then grabbed it and found a message from him.

[Just got back to campus. How's Eletta? Can I come up? I brought food.]

She stared at the message, realizing that she was out of time.

“Is that him? I can go somewhere."

“No! … Please stay. I don't know what to say." She gestured pleadingly at her phone.

Eletta looked at the message. “Tell him he can come up."

Janice struggled to think as she typed [Come up]

Jake smiled as his phone chimed and he started up the stairs. It had felt like a long day and he was glad he could end it with the rabbit he loved. He knocked and was happy to see her when she opened it to let him in. He kissed her cheek as he passed to put the bags of food on her desk, then turned back to offer more affection, but stopped when he saw her worried face. “What's wrong?"

“Jake. I… We need to tell you something."

He caught her arms as he tried to translate her expression, then hugged her and she returned it weakly. He stepped back to give her room to speak and glanced to Eletta for a moment, then froze and looked at the bear again as he realized what she was holding. “Eletta, are you … pregnant? Congratu…" He stepped toward her, then stopped and looked back to Janice. “Is it a good thing or a bad thing?"

The rabbit pushed past him to take the pregnancy tests from her friend. “No! They're … mine."

“Yours?" Jake's heart felt like it suddenly weighed two tons. After all their plans and fighting to stay together and promising to wait for her degree, she chose a rabbit now over waiting for him. After spending the whole day thinking of her and looking forward to spending the evening with her, it felt like his life was ripped away to hear that she had given their dream to someone else. He didn't really want to know, but he asked anyway, “Who?"

Janice could see his distraught expression. He wasn't ready. Despite all their plans and his excitement about making a family with her, when it actually happened, he was going to run away and leave her and her life was ruined. It was too late to turn back now. Anything but the truth would only be worse. “It's… It's yours."

Jake's thoughts stumbled and crashed over the unexpected answer. “Mine? But how? We never…"

“We did."

“It's my fault."

Jake turned to the bear sitting on the bed, now even more confused.

“It was a few months ago. You were celebrating your new job and I made you drink Gadrey's stuff."

“You didn't make us." Janice tried to interject.

“It's my fault. It made you horny and you did it when you weren't ready and it made you forget and now you're pregnant and you're not ready and I ruined your life."

Jake was slowly processing. The more what she said was true, the less his dread could be and it melted away into euphoric realization. “We did? … It was real? … I thought it was a dream. … You're pregnant? … and it's mine?" When it finally sank in enough, he wrapped his arms around his rabbit love and laughed ecstatically, then kissed her lips passionately until she relaxed and returned the kiss.

Janice watched him slowly realizing and tried to speak, but could only nod to his questions. When he laughed and hugged her, she wanted to ask him if he was okay, then she realized that his kiss was already his answer.

Eletta knew she was in the way. At least he was happy about it like she hoped. They'll be okay. She got up to leave them alone to celebrate.

Jake broke the kiss to smile at Janice, then turned to hug the bear, “Thank you. Thank you so much."

Janice took a turn to hug her friend, then kissed her lips as her thank you.

Jake liked the surprised expression on Eletta's face and wanted to add to it, so he caught her cheeks in his hands and kissed her bare lips, too.

Eletta sat down on her bed in shock, unable to think of how to react to her giddy friends.

“We have so much to plan and prepare." Jake held his rabbit love's arms and stared into her eyes. “Do you want to get married now or do you still want to wait?"

“I don't want to wait." She stared back at him as her mind churned.

“Wonderful! Do you want to just do it or have a small ceremony or…"

“I don't want to wait, Jake." Her mind settled on a different thought.

“Great, so we'll…"

“Jake. I don't want to wait anymore. I want to do it. We don't have to wait anymore. It's already done and I want to feel it and remember. I want you to do it." She grabbed his neck and kissed him passionately, then started unbuttoning his shirt.

Jake quickly understood and pulled his shirt off his arms as she started with his pants.

She pulled his pants and underwear down to his ankles and got her first look at his human erection that she could remember. It was what had already given her a little bunny, but this time she wanted to remember it. She pushed him back until he fell into Eletta's bed, then sat on his legs as she pulled her own shirt off. His enraptured expression was all the encouragement she needed as she pulled her bra off then stood up only long enough to push her pants and panties out of the way and step out of them. She climbed up his body, watching his face intently, until she looked down to watch as she guided his erection into her.

It was bliss. Not only the wonderful feeling, but the fulfillment of anticipation. All their dreams compressed into one moment that they saw in each other's eyes and felt as he connected deep inside her. He didn't care about his own enjoyment; he wanted to see hers. He wanted to fill his mind with her real pleasured moans and orgasmic expressions. He put his hands on her furred hips and eagerly thrust as she ground down on him.

She couldn't think of anything but his pleasure. She could feel him inside her and she wanted more. She wanted him to give her what she already had, but she wanted to remember it. She wanted everything she had dreamed about. Something was missing.

Jake grunted as he thrust. He could tell she was happy, just not enough. He needed to push her over the edge into bliss, just like the dreams. Something was missing. He glanced over her shoulder and noticed the bear morph standing by the closet, then groaned and pulled Janice down as his orgasm pumped his love into her.