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Halo: FUBAR II

Chapter 02

“Operation Suckit."

Nobody can deny, crashes look awesome. Only look, mind you. I think knowing you personally won't be hurt by the crash tends to help. But you can't deny, they look awesome. After all, it's the sole reason people watch NASCAR.

It couldn't possibly be because making a left turn is super exciting.

On the outside I could imagine the drop pod crashing through the atmosphere, spinning out of control, on fire and pissing debris looked fucking metal. Unfortunately, I was on the inside, whimpering like a girl losing her anal virginity and shitting my pants for good measure.

Too much butt-related imagery for you? Well too fucking bad.

Grasping at the hull of the drop pod I no longer had a sense of up and down. Looking past where my feet were dangling I could see Mira was still battling to bring the pod breaking apart around us under control. Tilting my view sideways I saw Token was desperately holding on to the opposite end of the pod. Some of the vehicle's skin had peeled away and wind whipped through the compartment. Beams of light filtered in through the hole and I caught glimpses of sparse cloud cover sliding past. Then patches of what looked like rocks, far away at first, but rapidly getting closer with every barrel roll that flipped us about like adult toys flung aside when the batteries run out…

Huh… I think I've been hanging out with Vixxen too much.

“Would give anything for some seatbelts right about now!" I managed to shout over the howling wind tearing around us.

“We'll be fine!" Token declared like an ice-cold badass.

“What are you basing that on?"

“If you die, just respawn. I do it all the time!"

“Not helpful!"

I couldn't stay angry at Token for very long. And it had nothing to do with his winning personality. I couldn't stay mad at him for long because it didn't take very long for us to pancake into the ground. Everything went black. I had been expecting pain, but there was only numbness. Numbness and a sense of disorientation.

By the time I realised I had lost consciousness on impact, I was already waking.

Blissful ignorance of unconsciousness became foggy awareness which quickly turned into painful reality. My head felt like a volcano was erupting inside my brain.

Worse were the alarms. Biometric warnings blared persistently in my ears, rousing me from my profound desire to just fucking die, and lifting my head, my vision was cleared of the sand that now filled the escape vessel.

Much of the hull was missing, exposing the structural Covenant alloy ribcage. Compartments, panels and even the entire flight console were missing, along with the area where Mira should have been. Likely torn free in the crash. I'd have to go looking for her.

First things first… I patted myself down. Ten fingers, ten toes and two of arm and leg varietals. My head was obviously screwed on tight, and finally I counted my testicles. Everything was exactly where I'd left it last.

Sighing, I dug myself out of the sand drift blowing into the wreckage and sat up. My armour was ruined. Many of the impact plates had been shorn free or torn apart like they'd been made of cardboard. My helmet half-hung off my head and the visor had a big crack in it.

“What the fuck?" I muttered before patting what was left of my helmet. “Vix? Vixxen! You in there?"

She moaned softly, as if being woken up from a good dream… or being woken up by said good dream becoming a reality. You know what I'm implying!

“Just a few more minutes, daddy," she mumbled, then groaned as if she was stretching. “I don't want to go to school today. I want to stay home and have orgasms with you."

I scoffed, dusting myself off. “Snap out of it you over-compensated nympho. What the hell did you make my armour out of?"

I picked up what was left of a knee pad and tore it in half with my bare hands. It was literally made of cardboard.

Waking out of sleep-mode properly now, Vixxen yawned huskily in my ear. “Oh, you know. With whatever was laying about. There was this cool website I found that shows you how to make any armour you like."

She punched up the website on my HUD – or what was left of my HUD – and I sighed explosively. “Vixxen, that's a cosplay website."

“Oh… that explains why all of the female armours are so comfortable looking."

“You mean skimpy."

“Yeah, let's go with that. Hey, did we land safely? Where's Mira?"

I stumbled out of the wreckage and looked around, taking in the surrounds. There was debris scattered everywhere. Beyond that a sparse collection of reddish sandstone gorges and hills. Beyond that were the dunes of what looked like a vast, endless desert. The wind picked up little vortexes, sand devils, and blew them over the clean, untouched dunes. There was no evidence of civilisation anywhere for at least a thousand miles.

Thoughtfully I rested my hand on my submachine gun – most of my armour was now pretty much useless, but at least Faith remained ever faithful and vigilant at my side. “She could have ditched before we hit," I suggested, looking at what remained of the escape ship. “Or the cockpit was shorn free. She could be anywhere. But if we survived, she definitely survived." Suddenly remembering something, I added, “Oh, shit. I wonder where Token respawned to."

Cupping my hands around my mouth I started descending into the sandstone valley laid out before me. “Token! Token, you down here?"

I didn't have to follow the breadcrumb trail of smouldering debris for long before Token's reply echoed back.

“Over here!"

Picking up the pace I ran around a boulder, nearly slamming head long into Token… or rather, nearly slamming head-to-crotch into Token.

The marine hung upside-down from a piece of curved metal that had set itself into the rocky terrain like a hangman's frame. Only nobody had taught Token to how hangings generally worked, because he was dangling upside down from it by his laces.

Token grinned. “How's it hanging?"

I rolled my eyes. “I've a mind to hang you properly."

It didn't take much doing to get him down. Mainly I just pulled my knife and cut his laces. Sure, Token would have a bump on his head for a while, but at least he was free, right?

Helping him up, Token and I stood in the shade of an outcropping, considering our situation.

“We're on the run from the UNSC," Token said, counting off his fingers. “The Covenant are trying to rape and-or kill us and we're lost on an alien planet surrounded by potentially hyper-hostile flora and fauna."

“But we secured the location of Earth," I said on a brighter note. “It was worth it."

Pulling the data crystal I had liberated from Mira (who had 'liberated' it from Shipmistress Neyla. Two wrongs make a right in this case) from my pocket I let it rest in the palm of my hand. The device was one of those new holo-chips, popular storage medium for AI as it had a built in holo pod to either project an avatar, or through which to interact with the on-board data. I gave the pod a press and immediately a holographic panel lit up in front of our faces. Displayed on it was the astronomical transform of a location somewhere in the cosmos. The location of Earth along with details on her defences.

Or so I thought…

“Uh, that's not the location of Earth," Token pointed out.

I blinked. “Get the fuck outta here!"

Hands on his hips, Token huffed. “I'll have you know that before I became Sergeant Token, marine badass extraordinaire, I was studying in university. Guess what I studied. Go on. Guess."

“Astronomy?"

“No!" Token snapped offendedly as if I'd made a crude joke. “I studied Astronomy."

“But…"

“Anyway, one of the first things I ended up memorising, in case I ever got lost in space, was the location of Earth in our galaxy. And I can tell you," – Token pointed at the data – “That's not the location of Earth."

Now, it is not because I would trust Vixxen's advice on anything other than how to turn literally anything into innuendo, but she was an AI and I had to be sure. “Vixxen?"

Token threw up his hands. “You need to consult the personification of Captain Locks' porn?"

“He's right, Sawyer," Vixxen confirmed, earning a 'told you so' from Token. “This isn't data on the Sol System."

“So the Covenant still have the location on Earth?"

Vixxen materialised beside me, wearing a weather appropriate bikini and sarong wrapped around her hips. “More than likely. This doesn't even look like my data. It seems Mira swiped data on Earth from me to get close to Shipmistress Neyla so she could swipe something else from the shipmistress in turn."

Token looked unconvinced. “That sounds awfully complicated. Why would she do that?"

I knew exactly why. “Because she's a thief, an opportunist and generally just a shitty friend!" I snapped angrily, plugging the chip into my armour's remaining circuits for Vixxen to analyse. Then drawing my SMG, I extended the stock and readied it for a fight. “And when I find that fine ass of hers I'm gonna bang some answers out of her!"

“Uhh, Sawyer, don't you mean…"

“You know what I mean!" Looking back up the way I had come I gestured Token to move out. “Token, why don't you try to salvage anything useful from this debris. I'll scout ahead through this valley, see if Mira touched down nearby. And if not, at least I can secure a perimeter and find somewhere good to camp while we figure out what to do next."

Token nodded. “Sounds good. Try to stay in radio contact. Comms are bound to be patchy in this terrain."

Agreeing, I set down the path leading further into the valley while Token back tracked up to the landfall site. Much of the escape pod would be mulch, but among the debris were bound to be some surviving supplies, or at the very least some useful materials with which to build a temporary shelter.

The slopes became more gentle near the base of the valley and the hard rock underfoot turned to powdery sand that crept up over my ankles. There was no sound bar the wind howling between the rocks. No noises of nearby civilisation. No chatter of sand-people ready to ambush my ass.

With a false sense of security offered by my SMG and semi tactical advance, I pushed deeper into the valley.

“Any idea what that data Mira stole is all about?" I asked and I could almost feel Vixxen shrugging in the back of my mind.

“I'm analysing. It'll take a while. It's not really a constellation. More like… instructions of some sort… maybe a map. I'm not sure. It doesn't look like any language I've ever come across."

“Lemme know once you figure it out."

Vixxen chuckled. “Well what am I going to do? Figure it out and not tell you until you agree to eat me out to multiple orgasms?"

“That wouldn't surprise me actually."

As Vixxen was huffing in offence, though I didn't know why, something shook underfoot. I instinctively tightened my grip on my submachine gun and froze on the spot. Thankfully I didn't take that last step.

The sand a few inches from my toes exploded upward in a geyser, and I instinctively leapt backwards. My first thought was that I'd wandered into a mine-field. Then I realised as I rolled to my feet there had been no explosion.

The geyser of sand settled and in the dusty haze stood a construct. Not quite a robot, not a cyborg either. It was the amalgamation of ancient alien tech and some sort of anime mech. Roughly bipedal, the creature had a squat and bulky torso home to what looked like some kind of jetpack. Sprouting from the torso were a pair of arms and legs, but they were disjointed. There were no inner workings, and it seemed like where the limbs were meant to interlock over joint servos there was an invisible force holding the whole thing together. The dead space joints were clear to see on various articulated points of the torso, and even the neck giving the impression that the head wasn't even attached.

The primary arms ended in what looked like guns, the muzzles glowing with fierce orange energy. Sprouting from the belly were a pair of micro-driver arms, the petite hands stroking glowing orange appendages bobbing on their crotches.

I would have thought 'manbots!' were it not for the excited, glistening yonis situated right at the base of their raging erections.

The nearest of the five futabots that popped out of the sand like daisies levelled its bulky rifle to my chest and unloaded a burst of light.

I don't remember falling. But I do remember a spiralling sensation. Only instead of slamming into the ground, I felt like I was just floating there. And then there was light.

Pink light to be exact. It couldn't have been heavens gates, as I knew full well that I was bound for the hot place. I'd never been a saint, and part of me realised I'd kind of enjoyed many of my alien encounters – to an extent. What kind of man is going to say no to a free orgasm?

I could have probably done with a little less of the mortal endangerment that came with my various erotic adventures.

The light swallowed me whole and it was like I was rolling about in a cocoon of silk. Every sense across my body was alight, from the tips of my fingers right into the core of my gut. I wondered if this was what a woman felt when she orgasmed; then my mind turned to more immediately selfish things. My toes curled and I lost all sense of awareness.

I wasn't gone for long. Fighting my way through the crashing waves of post-coital exhaustion, I awoke flat on my back and in a puddle of my own sexual gratification. Everything in my shorts felt sticky and there was a burning desire for more where that came from in my loins, despite my brain knowing full well getting shot was a bad thing. I had no idea how it worked, but it was immediately apparent that these futabots were packing less-than-lethal weaponry that tapped into the carnal centres of the human body in order to subdue.

If there was an ideal way to go down, shot by one of those constructs would be it.

Managing to sit up, my hand found Faith where she'd landed in the sand. At the same time Vixxen's avatar materialised heroically between me and the creatures, still wearing her skimpy bikini. Though to her credit, the bikini was made of armour to be a little more situation appropriate.

“Pick on someone your own size, motherfuckers!" she yelled.

So they did. One of the constructs rushed forward and decked the fuck out of Vixxen.

As ineffectual as her stand had been, it still served to give me the time I needed to get up. Rolling to one side, I crouched low on one knee and shouldered my M7S. Caseless rounds belted out of the muzzle in full-automatic and slammed into the constructs…

A haze of shimmering light flickered across their bodies and swatted the bullets away like they were nothing but annoying flies. Perhaps if I'd been packing a machine gun I might have reloaded and tried some more, but it was clear my pea-shooter wasn't doing the trick.

“Aw, nuts."

As two of the constructs fell onto Vixxen, the other three swarmed me. The lead of their echelon rushed forward and collided with me, driving its iron-rod dick into my stomach like a baton. I'd been beaten up by a cop once on Olduvai after a drunken ODST party. This was exactly like that. The wind was driven out of my lungs and I was thrown onto my back with this phallic-object-thrusting motherfucker throwing its full weight on me.

As the futabot bore down ready to cock-slap me into next week, the segmented mask covering the head broke apart in a T-shape to reveal the face within. Hanging in an orb of glowing orange light was a disturbingly human looking skull, teeth bared in a wicked grin as it screamed silently, lava-lamp light spilling from empty eye sockets.

I would have been intimidated, but having a futa-dick shoved down my throat was immediately more terrifying. In my struggle I shoved my hand into the exposed skull, grabbing it like one might grasp a bowling ball.

My fingers digging into the surprised construct's nasal cavities, I suddenly realised something. I wasn't being stopped by a shield. Theoretically the shields looked to be velocity triggered. That meant projectiles were blocked, but anything moving slow enough got through.

I tested the theory. Faith's muzzle rammed into an empty eye socket and I unloaded what was left in the magazine – a good thirty rounds at least.

The futabot's head exploded and with a mechanical wail the thing toppled off me and collapsed dead into the sand. The whole fight ground to a halt for a few seconds. The additional two constructs rushing me froze with surprise. Even the other two having their merry way with Vixxen's avatar paused their stroke to look.

Nearby Vixxen was laid back in the sand. Her legs were spread wide with one fembot settled between her thighs. Her exposed pussy lips were stretched around the modest girth of the construct's cock as it rolled the biomechanical erection smoothly in and out of her.

At the same time she had her head tipped back, muzzle open and lips pursed around the second futabot using her mouth like an additional sexual orifice.

Technically the AI spit-roast was possible. Vixxen's hard-light projection allowed for her to interact or be physically interacted with. And sexual pleasure was programmed into her modified subroutines. But the futabots wouldn't have been able to undress her, that was essentially messing with her appearance which was locked to Vixxen's own control. Meaning she had allowed her clothing to be removed. Meaning she was into it.

Vixxen's moans gave away her motivations as she eagerly drove her fingers in and out of the snatch of the futabot swabbing her throat.

I had enough time to sigh, then jumped into action.

Rolling back into my neck, then following through as I flicked the empty mag from my SMG, I landed on my feet with the next magazine ready. It clicked into Faith and the weapon came up. But my lesson learned, I didn't fire right away.

The constructs closed in, then I met them halfway.

The first swept for my head, looking to gun-butt me into next week. The swish of air could be felt through the cracks in my helmet as I avoided, then collided with the second futabot. I followed Faith's muzzle in, jamming the weapon upward with both hands.

As fate would have it, the thick black suppressor slammed into the glistening opening just under the base of the futabot's throbbing erection. The lips parted wetly, drooling over the cylinder as it slid upward and inside.

Stopping in place, the creature doubled over and gave an erotic groan, pausing long enough to reposition and withdraw, in turn slamming the muzzle into a vacant eye-socket. A quick burst later the construct fell apart at the invisible seams and clattered to the sand as a pile of useless armour.

The last one that came at me did so almost too quickly for me to react. I rolled aside, spitting out sand as the futabot lunged by, tripped and dropped onto all fours. There was no time to consider being cool about this. Fight or flight had thoroughly kicked in.

I rammed my weapon up its ass and emptied the magazine.

Job done, I quickly reloaded and turned to bear on Vixxen and the futabots she entertained. Their positioning hadn't changed, with futabot#1 feverishly pounding her pussy like a jackhammer and futabot#2 fucked her throat. I didn't fire outright, but not because I knew the shields would block my bullets, nor was I afraid of hitting Vixxen. It was only her avatar, she resided properly in the circuits within my suit. If she wanted, she could just blue ball her captors by turning off her avatar and vanishing into thin air.

I could have manually shut off her avatar if I were feeling sadistic… but then what is sadistic about blue-balling some alien constructs?

The holographic fox's body stuttered as she seemed to cum. At the same time the futabots stiffened and orgasmed deep in her snatch and directly down her gullet at the same time. I couldn't see what came out, but assumed it was a thick, viscous stream of hot, steamy data. I imagined they were streaming porn directly into Vixxen's body.

'Sigh.'

Before either construct had recovered they jumped again, jolting in place with arcs of electrical energy buzzing their bodies. Moments later their heads exploded and they collapsed into the sand.

Either sex with Vixxen was that good, or…

Lowering my gun I watched Vixxen pick herself up and lick her lips with pride. “What did you do to them?"

“Slut magic."

I rolled my eyes. “And I immediately regret asking."

“I hacked them, Sawyer. That'll teach them to stick their interface rod into a universal serial orifice uninvited." Even I found that funny and chuckled. Vixxen folded her arms over her bare breasts and looked pensive for a moment. “Says here these things are called 'Promethean Maidens.' Looks like their administrator is something called the 'Serenity of Lust.' Sounds like my kinda admin," she added with a grin.

“Where did they come from?"

“The Forerunners left them behind in the ruins scattered throughout Bo'Hica. What I find interesting is that they're active. Forerunner tech is so old, usually it's quite dead."

“What's a Forerunner?"

“An hyper-advanced race of aliens, now all supposedly extinct. Covenant technology is adapted from Forerunner tech, and the Covenant revere them as gods."

“Um…"

Vixxen grinned as her avatar evaporated. “Just go with it."

I didn't have much of a choice. As quickly as the initial ambush happened, a second was sprung. More of the Promethean Maidens burst from the sand, only this time right under my feet.

I toppled but was caught by an enemy and shoved hard into the nearest rock surface. My broken helmet did nothing to protect my noggin and I slumped weakly to the sand before the futabots.

My consciousness dripped away like water from a leaky bucket. Each passing moment blurred my vision further and the black borders started closing in. Through the wishy-washy mess of colours I saw a silhouette approach through the sand. It couldn't have been Vixxen's avatar, it was too tall and too slim when compared to her voluptuous curves.

I wondered if it was Mira. Then as everything went black I hoped it was, despite everything. Falling unconscious was bad, especially for me. I could almost guarantee I was going to wake to a dick being in an ass.

Rather my dick being in Mira's than a futabot's being in mine.

~~~

Waking was a relief. Realising I wasn't bent over with a futabot balls deep in my ass was an even greater relief. The fact my arms were strung up over my head didn't even matter.

Testing the restrains with some light struggling, I blinked my eyes into focus and took in my surrounds. I was forced in a standing position with a cylindrical cavern stretching all around. Several of the roughhewn sandstone walls were lined with equipment, with broken grey metal tiles paving much of the uneven floor. Cables and other filament-like conduits glowed with alien energy, giving many of the surrounding terminals a hyper-advanced appearance. Indiscernible data flows and emblems flowed across holo-terminals like fancy screen-savers and there was a hum of energy rolling out one of the many branching tunnels that led away from this seemingly central chamber.

Under my feet was a slick metal dais of some sorts, decorated with a circular web-like pattern of blue light. Some of the light flowed through cables winding across the floor like spaghetti plugged into nearby free-standing consoles topped by transparent screens.

The sharp rap of heels on the bare stone like the click of talons came from one of the branching tunnels, drawing my attention and I struggled to swivel. I expected a Promethean Maiden to march in, an erection bobbing between her legs, eager for the kiss of my sphincter… fucking hell, what is it with me and butt-related imagery today?

The volume of the footsteps reached apex, but instead of a Promethean, in walked an entirely new figure. Though maybe not totally new. Her silhouette was tall and lean, and rather familiar.

The last figure I had seen before passing out earlier had not been Mira (obviously). It had been this new woman of a totally new alien species.

She seemed primarily human in her features, with a tall lithe body and noticeable, but subtle breasts wrapped in skin tight attire. Her sleek legs were covered along the outer thigh and from the knee down in a pair of stilettoed boots, leaving her crotch covered by just her panties. The front of her suit was low cut to reveal some freckles on the pale skin between her breasts and her mid-riff and navel were exposed by the odd line of the waist.

Her face, like her body seemed human, but was clearly not. Almond shaped emerald green eyes, pale blue hair chopped short and falling in a crescent shaped bob favouring the left side of her head and full, dark blue lips. She didn't have a nasal ridge like the familiar human, rather a flat face with snake-like nostrils.

She looked serious for a moment as she led into the chamber on the quiet heels of her Promethean servant, but smiled when she laid eyes on me.

“Well, well, well." Her voice rolled from her pretty mouth with a beautiful, almost musical sound. “I never expected to have a human caller grace my presence."

I looked between her and the Promethean Maiden that had escorted her in. Like the other futabots, this one had a blank stare that unsettled me, and a twitching erection just above a glistening and aroused slit that unsettled me even more. I tested my bonds again. No joy.

“Who are you then?"

She seemed pleased with the line of questioning and waved her Promethean out of the chamber. As it quietly stalked away, the alien woman analysed me from head to toe while circling the dais.

“I am Serenity of Lust, but just 'Serenity' will do. I doubt you've heard of me."

“There's no forgetting a name like that. What you got going on here, Serenity?" I nodded the way the Promethean had left. “Salvaging yourself a Forerunner army?"

Serenity giggled in the same unsettling way Claire McBreen did – Claire McBreen being a girl I went to school with. A proper nut-job with whom very few other kids in my class could get along with. I sometimes wondered if it had to do with the way animals went missing around her house, or if it was because she had murder in her eyes.

“I'm not salvaging anything. The Promethean Maidens are my birth right," she explained. “I am Forerunner."

I ogled her for a minute, then huffed. “Right. Hey, Vix, you know what a Forerunner looks like?" there was no answer. “Uh… Vixxen?"

Serenity of Lust's graceful stride halted in front of me and she waved a hand over a nearby console. In a burst of light Vixxen's half-naked avatar no ten centimetres tall materialised on top of one of the consoles. Surrounding her was a partially transparent box of light, trapping her in place.

“Vix!" I yanked at my bonds for all the good it would do. Vixxen was a hyper-irritating entity that grated at my nerves at the best of times, but she was my friend.

“Your ancilla cannot hear you. Nor can she save you." Serenity smiled eerily and again I was reminded of 'Crazy Claire.'

“Save me from what exactly?"

Hell. Did I really need to ask? I could already see where it was going and didn't much like it. This was going to be some sort of record. The crazy bitch was in the room for barely a minute and she was working up to raping me somehow. She didn't beat about the bush either.

In just moments she was squatting down before me, her nimble fingers working open my pants with practiced ease. She had a purpose, and on any other day her purpose would have excited me… oh, who am I kidding? Her purpose to fuck my brains out excited me. Maybe Olduvai broke me. Or maybe I was just finally giving in to that male instinct to fuck everything with two legs and an axe-wound between.

Regardless of what was having an erotic effect on me, be it her forceful removal of my erection from the cloth confines of my shorts, or be it glowing binds restraining me, I was harder than a Catholic priest at an all-boys school and sweating more profusely than a blind dyke in a tuna cannery.

Okay, these jokes are getting offensive… fuck it. I'm getting raped, I'm entitled.

She tested first, like a connoisseur grading wine. Her smouldering gaze took in my generous length (I'm assuming it's generous as I've never received any complaints) as she breathed in the musk. Then came a lick. A soft, wet little touch right under the crown, the warm contact making me clench, causing my erection to bob playfully in front of her nose – or lack thereof.

“Mmmmmm," she hummed, licking her lips and savouring her first tasting. “I've never had human cum before. Your musk promises a real treat."

She licked again, this time starting at the balls and dragging her tongue all the way up the underside until she reached the crown, where she swirled and planted a wet, soppy kiss on the head. To say I took it with grace would be a lie. I was panting and squirming like crazy.

There'd been a few girls in college who'd given me a blowjob before, but none of them had ever been this… experienced is the word I wanted to use. Usually they'd just plant a few kisses then get stuck in until they gagged and got uncomfortable.

Serenity was taking her time, working up the excitement. And when her lips did finally bring the heat promised by her husky breath it was like being touched by an angel. My loins didn't just go alight, they spontaneously combusted, sending a full body tingle all the way through my central nerves.

“Such a lovely cock," she breathed as she took the shaft between her delicate fingers and slapped it unceremoniously across her face. “And it's allllll mine!"

Slurping enthusiastically, she sucked me right into the hot, wet confines of her throat. She barely even gagged too, taking my cock as deep as it would go with practiced ease. The feeling was amazing, like her mouth was a pussy, ready to be fucked as deeply and as long as I liked. Were I not bound, I wouldn't have found the will to fight or run anyway. I would have had my hands on the back of her head.

She pulled back, her moist lips dragging over my buzzing shaft and her soft tongue caressing the head. The feeling made me jump and my hips rolled, probing my cock back into the back of her throat.

Even with my eyes shut I felt her smile as she pulled back, my member popping from her spittle glazed lips.

“Someone approves," she teased, and in those cool moments of sobriety I almost told her to go fuck herself.

Then her tongue raked up the underside of my dick again. Her head pitched forward once more and she slid down, taking the whole length back into her mouth with a muffled moan. She didn't let up anymore, really getting stuck in. head bobbing up and down she fucked me with her mouth, tongue swirling around the head and shaft and compressing as much as she could in her slippery, eager throat.

My crotch became a party and everyone was invited. I was reduced to such a blubbering mess of intense pleasure I couldn't even muster up a “No! Bad alien dominatrix! Down! Heel!" Of all my dubious consent encounters so far, this one was proving to be the most dubious. I wasn't thinking straight anymore. My mind wandered; wandering at first to awakening with the mysterious jackal girl riding lovingly in my lap. Then to Mira in our first encounter, bent over and cursing at me to go at her as hard as possible.

Back in the real world, Serenity opened her large, twinkling eyes and looked straight up at me, lips stretched over my girth with an almost innocent and subtle duck-face expression. That was too much, the sight coupled with her skilful ministrations tipped me over the edge. My whole body rebelled against my reservations and clenched. My hands curled into fists and I yanked at my restraints as hard as I could – they still didn't give any way.

Either Serenity felt the tightening of my nuts and the coming rush of semen, or she noticed my other bodily tells. The drooling Forerunner, tipped back, my erection sliding off her tongue and her slender, soft and silky hand wrapping around the glistening shaft instead.

She panted as if catching her breath, but didn't let up. Her hand was tugging slickly up and down my cock as she crooned feverishly.

“That's it. Come on. Cum for me. I want to taste it. Give it to me!"

I tried to hold back, like I didn't want to give her the satisfaction, but her strokes were long nad tight, the lubricated motions enveloping me from the crown right down to the base of the shaft. No spot on my dick was left un-caressed. She gave a tactical little squeeze and the dam broke.

The first shot missed its mark. The rope of pearly white semen connected with her upper lip, the rest of it splaying up across her face and missing her left eye narrowly. Serenity quickly stuck out her tongue and adjusted slightly. The follow up shots were walked right into her mouth. Before long a glistening, sticky, creamy glaze covered tongue. She quickly sucked my length into her mouth again and sucked me like a milkshake. More spurts followed as she drained my balls of everything they had.

And she was smiling devilishly up at me the entire time, even as a glob of cum drooled from the corner of her mouth. Pulling back, she swallowed deeply with a distinct gulp then scooped a few dregs of jizz from her face with one finger. She popped it into her mouth without hesitation, suckling and humming like she was enjoying a lollipop, rolling the cum around in her mouth for good measure before swallowing again.

The sight was nearly enough to get me hard again right away. Emphasis on the 'nearly' part.

Several long, laborious licks along my sensitive flesh followed as she made sure to clean her new favourite toy.

“I hope you're ready to go again," Serenity whispered, teasing my softening member between her fingers. “I must have more of this delicious cum for my collection."

I shuddered, both doubting I'd be ready to go again so soon and realising that this chick was off her nut. Thankfully, before Serenity could get stuck in again, a wild Token appeared.

Bursting into the chamber, the marine had a customary cigar chomped into the corner of his mouth, and hefted on either shoulder was the familiar bulk of an M6 Grindell/Galilean Nonlinear Rifle – more infamously known as the spartan laser.

The muzzles glowed hot with energy and he smiled, taking aim.

How he was managing to hold and charge both shoulder mounted weapons of mass destruction at the same time, I might never know. The more prudent question would have been where did he get the weapons? Still, his impossible feat of 'John Woo'-ing was totally disarmed by what he shouted at the top of his lungs.

“I'm a lead farmer, motherfucker!"

The Forerunner and I stared for a good while. Silence would have dominated in the absence of the spartan lasers humming with supercharged energy.

“You weren't really set up for that line, Token," I told him.

“Fuck it! We'll do it live!"

The Forerunner and I shared a glance.

“… better?"

With my approval confirmed, Token levelled his guns and unloaded. Red hot beams of laser slashed across the chamber and impacted with something behind me, Token pelvic thrusting the whole time as stuff exploded all around. A piece of debris clocked me in the head, making me flinch as Serenity of Lust rolled away. As Token had to charge up again for the next shot, she had time to duck out into an adjacent corridor and flee in full sprint.

I laughed, kicking at the air victoriously. “That's right! Run! Next time I won't take it so easy on you!"

With that bit of unpleasantness dealt with I wondered if Serenity's Promethean minions would come running. Thankfully they didn't, and Token was able to discharge and dump the spent spartan lasers.

“How did you find me?" I asked, as Token kicked one of the consoles until my bonds came loose.

“Narrative convenience."

I grinned, rubbing my wrists. “Hell, I'll take it."

Crossing the chamber, doing up my pants in the process, I thanked the fact Token was still pumping with adrenaline. He hadn't noticed the residues of cum on Serenity's face before she fled and didn't pass comment on my dick hanging out. In turn I freed Vixxen from her firewall. It turned out to be easy. There was literally an off button.

The digital cage evaporated and Vixxen's avatar stretched like a cat, her voice tinny on the console's speakers.

“I take it back. That Serenity bitch is not my kinda admin."

“Well she's not my cup of tea either," I lied. Let's just be honest with ourselves. Any guy who's just had his dick sucked as good as Serenity just did cannot hold any malice for anyone so soon after.

I was rummaging around the console trying to figure out how to plug Vixxen back into my tattered armour when she stopped me.

“Hang on. Check this out."

I followed her gaze to a large free-standing cylinder I had previously assumed was some sort of high-tech wardrobe.

“This is a high-tech Forerunner wardrobe," Vixxen explained and I chuckled knowingly. “I should be able to use it to fashion you a new set of ODST armour."

“How did you build him the spartan armour in the first place?" Token asked curiously.

“And don't say 'slut magic'," I warned.

Vixxen didn't say anything for a noticeably long time.

“Vix?"

“Well you told me not to say the one thing I wanted to say! Just get in the closet."

“Poor choice of words."

Regardless, I did as she said. Now I could go on and on about all the shiny lights and the little robot arms that stripped me down and replaced my base-layer, then 3D printed my armour over the top, but that would get tedious, long and boring.

So, I'm just going to flamboyantly say 'Poof!' Within a few seconds I stepped out again, fully dressed and (hopefully) somewhat protected behind bulwarking armour.

My 'new' suit of armour was nothing like I had pictured ODST armour should be. It was ODST armour I was familiar with, of course. But it was armour I was 'too' familiar with.

Six distinct scratches in the black paint left thin silver lines across the chest plate, a souvenir Nezz left me from our encounter in the subway (among other more 'mental' souvenirs). The rest of the suit was mottled with dings and scorch marks from being blown up, shot and generally just mopped up and down Olduvai by everyone who crossed my path. The shoulder pad was buckled and broken where Sergeant Boone had shot me, and Mira's previous orgasm had left some fluid stains around the crotch of my black camo fatigues. Some crusty bits of green drone-matter and bright orange hunter-juice gathered and dried in a few nooks and crannies on the stealthy impact plating.

There was a crack in my visor and the whole ensemble was held together by a noticeable odour of sex and shame.

I sighed. “Vixxen, you restored my armour to the state it was in when we left Olduvai."

“I know. Nostalgic, right?"

“How is it nostalgic? It was like a day ago."

“But for the readers it was years ago."

“The what?"

“Nothing."

Lifting my helmet I gave one of my gloves an experimental sniff. “And you couldn't have removed the smell of drone fingering?"

“Drone-what?" Token asked.

With a roll of my eyes I quickly retrieved Vixxen and plugged her in with a familiar tingle around the crotch area. “… nothing. C'mon. Let's just get the fuck out of here."

Our exit was about as relaxed as a couple of dudes swaggering out of the club with chicks hanging from our junk. And I'll be honest, I'd had quite enough of the latter, so was happy enough with just the relaxed swagger part. Token led me along a barren, featureless tunnel that branched off a few times, then began to spiral upward. I guessed I must have been at least a dozen metres underground at first. Then realised I had been in the heart of a mountain when we did emerge.

Splayed out before us as we left the tunnels behind was the desert of Bo'hica. Chasms and ravines of sandstone lay at the foot of the mountainside we emerged onto, forming a small maze beyond which were open clearings of sand surrounded by dark red boulders. And finally beyond that more open desert.

The desert was not what surprised either of us (we'd been on Bo'hica long enough now to know it was a desert planet). What surprised us was a ship settled in one of the larger clearings. Gunmetal grey and shaped like the business end of a halberd, the small frigate hovered nearly a hundred metres off the deck, connected by a few Pelicans shuttling gear and personnel from the open hangars to the ground.

The craft were distinctly marked with UNSC insignia, forming a mischievous, suicidal, but unfortunately necessary plan in my mind.

“Bail."

Token blinked a few times, comprehending the single and supposedly simple statement. “What?"

“Bail." I repeated. “I say we steal ourselves a Pelican and bail. This is turning into Olduvai all over again, only this time we're up against Covenant bitches, UNSC dipshits and a psychotic Forerunner with an army of futabots. Let's stop this shit before it gets out of hand. Bail."

“What about Mira?"

“Fuck Mira!" I shouted, then realising what I'd just said added, “In the proverbial sense. I say we take our chances jacking one of those dropships."

Token stared for a minute, then shrugged. “Fair enough. You're player-one. If you wanna bail, let's bail. But we're gonna have to deal with some of those marines."

The grey tint of my visor dropped down over my face as I butted Faith to my shoulder, ready for a firefight. After a crazy Elite's crew of femme fatales and a Forerunner dominatrix commanding an army of futabots, stealing a dropship from some UNSC nincompoops was going to be a walk in the park.

Especially if the absurdity of the late Captain Locks had infected the once familiar ranks…

With everything that had happened so far, I had no doubt.