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Rent Free Slob

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Written by Arian Mabe (Amethyst Mare)

Commissioned by anonymous

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_ _

“Biiiiiig…"

Carol whined, leaning against Big's doorframe, even though the African-American guy, who had been her neighbour for a couple of years already, towered over her. He had a kind smile and soft eyes, his hair clipped short in an easy style to go about his work.

Not that she knew what Big did for a living, however. She only cared about what she was doing – more so the eviction notice that had been taped to her apartment door that very morning.

“What's wrong, Carol?" He said, taking the paper offered to him as her eyes welled up with tears. “Oh, don't cry, I'm sure I can help, we can do something and figure this all out for you, don't you worry…"

She hid her smirk, entitled and conniving. Though Big, well… He had been infatuated with her for quite some time. The words spilt from her lips like water as she told him that she was being evicted for no reason, that she had always paid her rent in time, that her neighbour had been putting in “unjust" noise complaints about her.

“But I'm always so quiet," she said, clasping her hands together, her lower lip trembling. “I just don't know what I'm going to do! I don't know what noise anyone could have to complain about with me, I'm never even home!"

Dimly, Big was aware that that was a lie, as he had helped her out with some money when she had left her job as a history teacher in a middle school. His lips twisted in sympathy. Damn… It sounded like Carol was having a hard time of it, but what could he do about it?

“Shoot, I'm sorry, Carol," Big offered, lips smiling faintly. “That's really rough… Are you okay? Is there anything that I can do to help you out?"

She grinned, though had to hide it. The thing was, well… There was actually rather a lot that Big could do to help her out, including opening up his home to her. And he was so sweet and kind that, truly, he just let her do it too. Why, it barely even took a few words until he was offering to help her pack and move things over to his apartment, even though there was hardly any distance at all between them.

“Oh, thank you, Big… Thank you so much!"

What Big had not noticed, however, was that it was her living conditions that had rendered her evicted, though he had seen that she refused to let him in the bathroom while he was in there helping her move. He put it down to her not needing anything from the bathroom to come over, that she had already packed it away ready, but Carol had far more nefarious reasons for keeping Big away from the toilet that she had clogged many times over already, causing problems for everyone else who was on the same system.

Things with Carol… At first, everything was fine. Big headed off to work and came home to Carol still there – which was weird, in a way, as he had expected her to be off working. He didn't pry, however, enjoying seeing her there, for she did have a rather shapely figure and a large backside too that looked really good in her yoga pants, hugging her form perfectly. She was curvy and sweet and definitely easy on the eyes – at least to him – with her hair cut just above her shoulders, though she was older than him.

She's seen a lot…

_ _

That, however, was just Big looking on the bright side and the kinder side for her. He didn't want to think anything bad of anyone – though Carol was set to make that bad as she ran her fingers through her light brown hair. She'd slapped on her face cream, though it didn't do anything to smooth out the wrinkles on her face as they sat down before the TV for an evening of relaxation.

“Ungh," she grunted, shifting her weight back and forth. “My stomach, it's…"

He glanced at her, concern lining his features.

“Is something wrong? Was it something you ate?"

She had a big tub of raspberry ripple ice cream on the sofa next to her, the light of the TV glancing off her skin, the only illumination that there was in the room. Carol grunted, ignoring him, and lifted a leg, releasing a belting, rippling fart.

Pfffffttttpppffffttttppppptttt!

“Whoa!"

Big couldn't help himself: he laughed. He just hadn't been expecting it! She glared at him as he laughed, though he did not laugh for long, not as his mirth devolved into coughing, hacking gags, eyes watering as the reek hit him.

“Agh… Oh, fuck!"

“You shouldn't swear," she said, as if there was nothing out of the ordinary in that moment. “It's bad for you."

He blinked at her, scrambling away to get some distance, though Carol just…looked normal to him. She'd settled herself back down on the sofa and was eating her ice cream, spooning up great, big dollops of it, so that her spoon was overloaded every time she took a mouthful.

It was that night, however, that changed everything for them. Once she had released that first, terrible fart, she didn't see the need to hold anything back. Carol told everyone that it was a medical condition, though she just had not learned manners and often ate foods that interfered with her digestive system. As long as it did not inconvenience her, she simply did not see the issue with anything, not as she grunted and slobbed about, breaking wind whenever the hell she felt like it.

Pppfffffpppppttt!

_ _

Pppppwwwwwaaaaaarrrr…

Big wrinkled his nose and rubbed the back of his neck. It was a normal thing that happened sometimes, yes, he knew that…but even he did not break wind as often as Carol seemed to! He couldn't believe just how comfortable she was around him, though maybe she thought they were something more because he was being so nice to her? Did she think that they were in a relationship and they'd reached a point where he was that comfortable with her too?

Big wouldn't have minded that… Or would he? He had had a crush on her, of course, though the foundations of that were being shaken as he saw just a little more of her true colours, bit by bit and day by day.

“Uh… Carol?"

He broached it in the hallway, while she was heading to the bathroom, after having stunk out the guest room that he had so very kindly cleared out and set up for her, all with a nice bed and sheets too. She paused, her lips a little downturned, no longer quite looking as pretty as she had been. He shook himself. No, that wasn't very nice of him to think, no… Carol wasn't there, after all, to be or to look a certain way for him.

“Yeah?"

She glanced at Big as if he was of suddenly no interest to her.

“Can you…you know…"

He didn't want to be too obvious about it, or blunt, though what else he could he do? Big took a breath – and immediately regretted it as the reek of a silent and deadly fart clawed into his nostrils. His eyes watered and he held a hand over his mouth and nose, even though that wasn't going to help anything, no. It was still going to be just as bad, even if he tried his best to breathe through his mouth.

It feels like it's even getting into the back of my throat…

_ _

“Unff… Could you…try to lay off the breaking wind thing?" He asked, as politely as he was able. “It's just… It's getting a lot. I'm sorry, I don't know if it's something at all that you can control, it's just a bodily function, totally normal, nothing at all to be embarrassed about…"

“No."

He blinked.

“Pardon?"

Carol shrugged him off, shimmying past him into the bathroom.

“It's a medical condition, I can't do anything about it," she said, brushing him off as if he had asked her something that was not even possible. “You'll just have to get used to it."

Wait – what? Why would he have to get used to it if Carol wasn't going to be there forever? The agreement too was only that she would be there until she could get another place of her own!

But Carol was gone, slamming the bathroom door behind her, the reek of her farts digging into him and sinking into his lungs, as if the stench was going to become a part of his hair and his clothes, clawing its way brutally into him. He coughed and heaved, feeling quite rude about it all, but there was only so much that even Big felt that he could do to be polite, especially when there was so much going on.

He retreated into the living room, wide-eyed and swallowing his pride, as farts ripped from the bathroom, the solid, wooden door not doing anything at all to muffle the noise in the slightest. He didn't want to think about what she was doing to his bathroom, splattering the waste matter from her body straight down into the loo.

Before, it had been pristine and clean and white but afterwards… He had had to head in to use the toilet sooner or later, though Carol had left open the door, the reek of it seeping out into the apartment corridor. Later, there would be complaints from neighbours about the stench, though Big could not have imagined all the things that Carol could and would do, now that she was comfortable in the home that she had commandeered as her own.

Letting Carol, the rent free slob, into his apartment, was the worst thing that he could ever have done.

Unclogging his toilet from the gross, seeping mess that she had left in there, so thick that he couldn't even poke it down around the bend with the toilet cleaning brush, was dreadful. He tried, once again, to think the best of her, to assume that she had, indeed, eaten something that disagreed with her. Especially if she had a medical condition – wow! That made sense, considering her loud farts, how they stunk out a room to the point that it was uninhabitable, the bubbling, rippling farts so wet and gross, pulling from her body as if there was no way at all that Carol could ever have kept them locked down inside her body.

But it was worse, so much worse than that. For she treated the apartment, from that day on, as if it was her own – and that Big was just someone that she had around, perhaps, to clean up after her. Carol left dirty plates and rubbish all over the place, even in the small hallway between the rooms of his apartment, forever announcing her presence with a big, rippling, trumpeting fart. The toilet getting clogged was a daily occurrence and nothing Big seemed to do helped it along as his eyes streamed and he tied a bandana around his nose and mouth, trying to find something, anything at all, that could make the whole experience easier for him.

“Ugh…"

He couldn't hold back a grunt of despair as he shook his head, prodding at yet another steaming clog in the toilet, washer sloshing around it as the mess squished down. It was hard to get moving again, though he didn't want to be thinking about something that gross that had come out of Carol's body, even if he knew it was normal. While he tried his best to clean the toilet, Carol blasted music in the living room, the beats enough to shake the room while she danced and twerked, backing her booty up to the rhythm of something that he didn't even recognise.

“Ohhhhh, yeah," she crowed, as if she was the only person in the world and there was no one else at all there that she could disturb. “Shake it, baby!"

It was…obnoxious. Even though the thought did not seem right in his mind, not at all, not when he was trying to be a nice guy, the guy that he had always been – or so he thought. Carol was most certainly testing it to the extreme, though she was set to ramp it up too.

Whoosh!

_ _

“Yes!"

He exulted as he finally got the big mess down the toilet, having managed to dissolve it with added chemicals – but that was not something that he was all that concerned about going into the details of, not as her mess was whisked away down the loo. The beat of the music seemed to throb and jump, yet that was just something else that Big was going to have to put up with.

For it was not the music that was hurting his eardrums and had his neighbours pounding on the walls, screaming for quiet, thinking that something had really gone wrong in his apartment for Big to be doing something so inconsiderate. No… It was Carol herself, twerking madly as she let out a crazy, room-shaking fart with every beat and every twerk, shaking her arse and dancing back and forth.

He paused in the doorway to the living room, the bandana still tied around his mouth, though it would not have done anything at all to hide his look of shock. Even his curtains, hanging to the sides of his living room window, were buffeted and blown back and forth from the furious force of her farts.

They simply blasted forth from her, her backside raised, sending rippling waves of them out. It was hard to differentiate what was the base of the music and what was her breaking wind – though he couldn't even possibly refer to it that politely anymore, no. Because nothing about it was polite! Not as Carol danced and shoved his coffee table out of the way, kicking it over carelessly as she twerked and stomped and showed off just how much of an inconsiderate house guest she was.

Ppppfffffttttttaaaappp!

_ _

Ppppptttttttppppppfffffftttttt!

He reeled, shaking his head, backing away, not knowing what else to do. The first noise complaints would come in the next day, from his apartment complex and his landlord too, but Big ensured everyone that it would not happen again.

Damn it…

_ _

Did he have to find a way to get Carol out? What if she didn't have anywhere to go?

But he couldn't… He couldn't do that to her! Not even when she snuck into his room in the late afternoon, when he was trying to take a nap before heading in for a late shift at work, and farted right in his face.

Pppppprrrrraaaaawwwwppppp!

“Agh!"

He leapt up, coughing, as she laughed and ran from the room, though that was all part of Carol's fun. Oh, it was good to just be herself again! Holding in her farts had been torture for that short time she'd had when getting settled into Big's apartment – but where even was the need for her to worry about that anymore? He shouted after her, but Carol slowed down, carrying on with her day and letting out more room-shaking farts that knocked glasses off the counter in the kitchen as she went about making herself a sandwich.

Her gas grew worse and worse as she ate more and more which caused her stomach upset – but it did not hurt her, as long as she didn't hold it in. It was worse in the mornings too, when Carol was tossing and turning in bed, her stomach all grumbly and rumbly as it churned with the need to relieve her bowels and break wind.

“Unff…"

Yet Carol was not groaning with any kind of discomfort at all, no. She just didn't want to get up and go to the bathroom yet – that was so annoying! Especially when she was all warm and comfortable in Big's guest bed, having stolen the good sheets and duvet from his bedroom.

She smirked, tucking herself down a little more comfortably, guts churning.

“Mmmmm…"

And then she let out her loudest fart yet, shaking the walls, laughing and smirking the whole way through it, the sheets flapping up and ripping around her as a dark cloud of noxious greenish gas swelled from her backside. Of course, she had been wearing loose sweatpants for sleeping in, though those tore through as giant holes ripped through the sheets that had been covering her body.

Ppppffffttttt!

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Pppppfffffppppppffffpppppfffftttttttt!

But she didn't care at all about the destruction that she caused, the waste that she left behind, just how she was putting Big's apartment to the test in terms of keeping it fresh and clean and just all around liveable. Who cared as long as she was comfortable? Not even when he stumbled into her room, bleary-eyed as if she had woken him up at an ungodly hour, thinking that she was hurt, that the decrepit, vile sounds that her body had been making must have been something else, something dangerous, something truly harmful.

“Aghh… Unnngggghhh…"

Big groaned and backed off from the practically toxic cloud of gas that wafted from her, though Carol did not seem to notice the reek at all, even if things were going to get even worse from that time on. The cloud of gas followed him out into the hallway, swelling and floating, seeming to even grow in potency and power the further it got from Carol.

Big would see in full colour and clarity, however, just how bad his life was going to turn, the woman seeping and crawling her way into his life and finding ways to make it worse, day by day, curse by curse. No matter how much he sprayed air freshener and opened doors and windows, he couldn't get the reek out of his apartment, scrubbing both the kitchen and the bathroom from top to bottom.

She stuck her head into the kitchen with a wicked grin.

“Your shitter's clogged, go fix it!"

He tried to say something, to suggest that maybe Carol should want to go fix the toilet that time, since it was her that was always clogging it up with a great, big, reeking, squishy mess each and every time. But…yeah, that didn't go well, she was already gone, turned around, farting in his face, sending him heaving and gasping in the reeking, toxic cloud of it.

Big had even started getting comments at work about how his clothes were smelling, even being dragged into his manager's office, with HR present too, because there had been so many comments made on his reek. But he didn't see any way that he could get Carol out! She wasn't even meant to be there and, if he reported her to the apartment complex and management there, they'd know that he'd been putting her up there when she was supposed to have left the place entirely. It would be him that got kicked out – then neither he nor Carol would have a home to go back to!

And that was not something that he could risk, no, not at all, not even as she ran around after her and unclogged the toilet (or the “shitter" as she called it constantly) several times a day, though that was very much not something that he wanted to be doing. He just wanted his home back, even though he didn't know what on earth he could do to reclaim his space, the reek of her gas infiltrating every last corner of his home, as if it was sinking into the cracks in the walls too.

Those cracks there… They hadn't been there before Carol had moved in. Before her blasting farts had not knocked the curtains off the rails and shaken the walls, notice after notice of noise complaints coming through. He tried and tried, shouting through the music though not over it, asking her to turn it down, to be a little quieter, that there were a lot of complaints… But, of course, he didn't manage to get through to her. He wasn't sure whether Carol even heard him or not. To her, he could have become so insignificant that he just didn't even matter anymore.

Even when, well…it was his apartment. Or, at least, it had been. It didn't feel much like his anymore, not as she smirked at him. The only time that Carol acknowledged his presence was when she was torturing him with her gas, farting and filling the air with her toxic fumes. Big hardly even knew how so much grossness could come from one person, let alone a woman that he had rather liked chatting with and looked forward to living with before…but that was no longer something at all within his control.

The rancid fumes sank into his lungs, like rotten eggs, the stench of decaying matter clawing its way into his lungs. Although Big's eyes watered, he barely even reacted to it anymore, tears streaming down his face solely from where his eyes burned. There was only so much that he could do there, of course, though he tried to take some respite in the late night and early mornings, before Carol was awake.

Of course, she still farted in her sleep. Or, maybe, Carol was just pretending to be asleep to get away with even more from him, muffling her face into the pillows while she blasted out farts.

Pppppppfffffpppppfffffttttpppptttt!

_ _

He didn't have a single pair of good sheets anymore and Big hid his head under his own pillows – though they were ones that Carol was already through with. With big holes ripped even in their pillowcases, from the ripping might of her farts, they were hardly even usable anymore. As with everything, the whole apartment, from top to bottom, every sheet and every object, reeked of her.

Big considered buying new sheets…but what was the point? He still had his bedroom, though it was little solace anymore after Carol had ripped his door off its hinges. He didn't want to believe that that had been with the belching, crude, grumbling force of her farts but, well…he had witnessed just how she could shake down a room with them first-hand. Was there anything that her body was not capable of?

No… No. He didn't want to be kicked out and he had a routine, kind of, to dull the scent of her on him when he went out to work, enough that people could mostly tolerate being around him. It involved a lot of cover-up body spray, so much so that he had a toxic cloud of another kind of gas following him around his work, though that was a small price to pay to be able to still work. In the apartment, he hammered up soundproofing, heavier curtains and thicker rugs, seeking to dull the noise of Carol, both her music and her body, as much as possible.

Sometimes, when he had been so keen to live with her and see a little more about who Carol was, Big could go too far. But that was just the way that he was, trying to make things easy for others, even as she climbed up on the stepladder that he had been using to put up insulation in the hallway, farting in his face.

“Ugh!"

He pulled away, the stepladder rocking on two legs – though he still cared enough about her, even then, to grab it, despite how his face was screwed up in disgust. He didn't even know just how Carol could be as gross as she was; no attraction towards her lingered at all. But she had a presence there that could not be denied, bending over at the waist to shake her arse and twerk again, her fat, fleshy behind jiggling as she let rip fart after fart.

He trembled, backing away a little as the walls shook. Sometimes, Big didn't know if he was imagining that the apartment was shaking, but the noise complaints and threats from the other neighbours, which were rising in their intensity, had to mean something, he was sure. He couldn't be imagining it as she kept farting right at him, leaving him to duck and try to dodge the cloud of gas heading rapidly his way. It was as if she could even control that…but, yes, that was definitely his mind going rather a bit too far, yes.

But he could only try to live through it, step by step and day by day. He was stuck with her, ripped holes in his sheets and even the heavier, thicker, sound-dampening curtains not lasting very long, torn through with holes, after a while. He just had to find a way to live with her, yes, to find a way, any way at all, to make the best out of a bad situation.

If he could do that, well…he would be able to do a lot more, he was sure.

He could live his life again.

Even if he had to unclog the toilet every day, multiple times a day. Even if she hurled insults at him, acting like he was someone there to serve her needs. Even if she poked fun at him, mocking his life, his job, that he couldn't even keep the apartment neat and tidy (due to her, of course). Even if she forced him to buy more and more sheets, sometimes even stealing his bath towels and bathrobes too, just to fart holes in them, the fabric flapping away from her body while it could not help but tear through from the passage of wind from her arse alone.

It was hell. But it would never have been anything other than that, no, not as she took over his bedroom too, his final sanctuary. He woke first to her farting in his face, waking him up with peals of laughter.

“Get up, your shitter's clogged!" She howled, though her lips were twisted into a cruel smirk. “Or are you going to let it spill out onto the floor again? Dirty fool!"

He wasn't dirty, no, not by a long shot. Big had always taken pride in his appearance but, even as Carol trashed his belongings, he tried to always make sure that he was as well put together and as presentable as possible. Even if he had to buy cheaper products than before, for she always found out where he hid them, digging them out just to smash them or pour the hair stuff straight down the drain, sometimes even mixing it in with the clogged toilet and dirty water.

She always found a new way to torture him, to the point that she found a way to drive him all the way down one night. Big howled, waking to a tremendous, earthquake-like fart that was worse than every one that had gone before, the bedroom rocking – but the sheets were over his head! Closing him in with the noxious cloud of gas driving into his lungs, he was forced to hack and gag, trapped in there, whimpering, hunkering down, kicking and fighting, his body not knowing at all what it needed to do to get out of the situation at hand.

No… There was nothing he could do as she farted more and more, her laughter cruelly echoing and bouncing off the walls: just another thing to wall him in on all sides. There was no escape from her, not as she “Dutch ovened" him, forcing him to inhale, holding the sheets down until Big didn't even see any point in fighting back at all.

No… He just had to endure. For there would never again be anything worthwhile in his life, not when Carol and her farts were there.

So, he was kicked out of his room into the smaller guest room, the wallpaper peeling, the curtains hanging off the rail, ripped and torn. The reek of the bathroom somehow got into the room too and he practically slept with one eye open, always trying to keep an eye out for her. He didn't want her to sneak up on him and trap him under the sheets, though it was not as if the sheets themselves did anything at all to muffle the blast of her farts.

There was no end to it. And he didn't think that there would be anything to change either, not as he just about managed to stop the noise complaints from going too far, her rap music blasting, twerking and dancing all over his living room, farting along, though not in time with the music.

“Oh, yeahhhhhhh!" She sang, though her voice was off-key and out of tune. “This is the stuff!"

She twerked as if to back up on him but Big got out of the way, even as another wave of gas flooded from her, seeping into the corners of the living room as if it was dragging its way up the walls. The door, of course, to the guest room was broken too and he did not doubt that her gas would find its way in there, or that he would, once again, wake up to her farting in his mouth, covering his face and head with her fat buttocks, but he had given up on finding a solution.

He tried to spend as much time out of the apartment as possible but, well, he didn't have the money for that either. Not as he was forced to replace bedsheets and curtains and the insulation and more still.

Big just had to endure, the smell clinging to him, the toilet always clogged, harsh words and insults hurled his way, day after day, even while he tried to sleep with headphones on to dull the noise.

There was nothing he could do. Not as Carol, the ultimate Karen and rent free slob, had taken over every last little bit of his life, his home and his sanctuary.

If only he had never let her in…