FSE

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formerly SoFurry search engine

The light burned red. Go sat quietly in the passenger seat of Tray's beat-up third generation Camaro Daniel had handed down to him after purchasing a new vehicle, the radio blurting out a hazy rock song. Go made it clear to the leopard that everything was fine between them and he still wanted to hang out that night. But there he sat, saying nothing.

Tray worried. He wondered if he'd gone too far in what he did, although he was glad they were on the same page. Was he being too shallow? He did genuinely like the jaguar for that little thing called personality, but perhaps he was just saying that to justify what he'd done. Guilt panged the back of his mind.

"Look, Go... sorry about that."

No response. But then the light turned green and Go looked at Tray. "We'll need to keep this a secret."

Go's past. Something must've happened at his old school that forced his parents to move him here. Tray felt selfish, but then Go said, "And thanks."

"Thanks?"

"That wasn't sarcasm. You won't believe how it's been. Everyone had these high expectations for me to perform, because of my athletic build. But it was so hard doing anything when thoughts of humping half the team kept invading my mind like pop-up ads. You know how difficult it is to hide a ten-inch erection in wrestling gear?"

Tray could only nod, even though--as much as he would've liked to--he didn't have ten-inch erections.

"It was embarrassing. And I always had to fake interest in girls when the guys talked. It's tiring. So thanks--for breaking the ice."

Tray felt better, but there was still one concern that he took for granted himself. "Do your parents know? That you're gay?"

"Yes and no." Go drummed a small pattern on the dashboard. Nervous tick. "They knew I was having certain problems, but denial is a tricky, powerful thing. Stuff got out of hand and they were getting calls to speak with the principal--they decided it would've been best to move. Finish high school where half the class didn't address me as 'fag.'"

Tray pulled into the driveway of his large, three-story home, the dark green lawn groomed better than most people, a small fountain decorated with stone frogs billowing water in the direct center. In the back was a swimming pool, Tray pointed out, that they could take a dive in later.

"Nice place," Go said, glumly.

Tray's father was home doing some paperwork in the office, and after a quick introduction--Go was terribly polite--the two boys were in Tray's room, loading up a video game. The room soon filled with explosions and gunfire, the tapping and mashing of buttons, the floor hard beneath their bottoms as different bands in rigid poses glared down at them from their posters on the walls. Tray's scent marked the room as his, faint but recognizable. Go found it oddly pleasant, and as they played he caught himself watching the leopard or gazing around at his belongings instead of the screen.

Another missed headshot. Cursing under his breath, the leopard did his best to focus on the game, but there was a hole burning inside him. He had no idea how to make Go cope with his past better, so he thought that maybe it was best to help him forget, to think about the present. Blast some bad guys on the television screen, emblazoning the battlefield with blood.

Tray had noticed Go's attention wandering: same boat. After an hour Tray couldn't wait anymore. PAUSE froze the screen.

"So was that your first?"

"First what? Kill? No, I just took out the--"

"No, no... I mean back at the pool. Was that the first time someone ever... you know."

Go breathed out. "I'm a virgin, yes... or was if that handjob counted, even though I didn't... you know."

_ Cum._

It was quiet for a second. A long second.

"Was that yours?" Go asked.

"Yes, and it was freaking sweet if you ask me."

"Do you... wanna finish?"

They sat there, the question fumbling through their minds with the weight of a wedding proposal. Then, without further hesitation, Tray got up with a grin and locked the door. Unzipping his pants, the soft, pink appendage of his cock greeted the jaguar who couldn't help but glance up from the floor with a grin of his own. It was the first time he'd seen a penis from this angle; it was always momentary glances in the showers, bodies covered in foam or draped in steam.

A murr lulled from Tray's throat as Go grasped the leopard's maleness, the flesh stiffening from this simple contact. He tugged and fondled. He touched. Cupping the heavy set of balls, Go dropped his head to take in the musky scent that marked the leopard as virile, horny. A bead of preseminal fluid formed at the tip, leaking down the shaft, dabbing the jaguar's nose. He smells so good, Go thought. Angling Tray's shaft towards him, he pulled his lips over his teeth and engulfed the thick glans, sinking his head into the leopard's crotch, taking the entire length, sucking at his penis like one would a thumb.

Tray let out a grasp and grabbed at Go's head, pleasure zipping through his body. He stroked the sleek fur of the head he held, clutched the ears, pulled. Knees buckled as the jaguar sucked, stopped to breathe, sucked again.

The jaguar gagged only a few times, adjusting how deep he took him, doing his best to mimick what he'd seen in porn flicks. But this was different: the taste of skin, the soft moans emanating from Tray--genuine moans: none of the overacting for a camera--the warmth and touch of another body. So much better than pawing off to a stiff computer screen with its unnatural glow, his parents sleeping in the adjacent room.

"Hold on," Tray said. A bridge of saliva grew between his dick and Go's mouth as the jaguar released him reluctantly. He unpaused the video game, the cacophony of battle piercing through the silence of his room. "Don't want my Dad overhearing."

Both wound up getting fully naked, kissing each other on Tray's black bed-configured futon, whiskers tickling, paws exploring the other's body, clutching at tufts of fur. White on white. Dicks hard as the frame that squeaked underneath their movements. After exhausting themselves with lip and tongue, they glanced each other over. All ten inches of Go hung over his muscular torso like a heavy branch, but the jaguar was chuffed at the size of Tray as well whose dick spiked towards the ceiling, more pre-cum seeping generously from the broad tip. Without a word, their paws found the other's member. They moaned as quietly as they could manage, stroking each other's slick lengths, the wet sounds drowned out by video game noise.

A thicker dick felt amazing in Tray's paw, with its large vein curving along the upper side; Go's balls pooled heavily on the futon, joggling as the leopard jerked him off. Tray was surprised that such a beautiful package could cause Go so much grief. He wouldn't mind being the talk of the town equipped like that!

"I'm close," Go whispered a few minutes later. Tray instructed the jaguar to stand in front of him. The jaguar complied without question, hands resting by his sides as his dick stretched toward the leopard who wasted no time stroking him off again, a little faster, fondling his own member with the other paw.

Go closed his eyes and couldn't stop himself from moaning louder, something like electricity snowballing in his dick, reverberating through his legs and arms, the feeling of Tray's paw too intense. Something like a growl burst from his lips. Hardening completely as it did back in the pool, Go's cock shot its first rope of hot, white cum onto Tray's chest. Sucking in another breath and opening his eyes, he watched as a second blast strung like confetti over Tray's head.

The third and fourth shots produced the largest volume--from both his dick and his mouth--settling thickly across the leopard who kept stroking both of their cocks, very much turned on by the massive ejaculation, dollops of cum leaking off his paw, the white mess getting everywhere.

"Oh, God..." moaned Go, his entirety feeling so good--he never knew the body could experience such pleasure--as he came again, biting his lower lip, knees foundering, hips jerking. Tray let out a satisfied moan as his own cock let loose in unison with Go's next emission, hitting himself in the chin, then the chest, the final shots covering his abdomen. Tray was dumbfounded, Go's cock still squirting the last bit his balls had left even when the leopard had already finished.

When Go's dick finally stopped throbbing, semen dripping onto Tray's leg, Go let out a breath as if he'd been holding it in one of their underwater contests. "Fuck," he stated, Tray noting that this was the first time he'd ever heard him curse. "That was incredible. I don't remember ever cumming that hard."

"'Fuck' is right." Tray looked himself over, surveying a disaster sight. He wiped off what got on his face, his arm now wet, his face still sticky. "Damn. Have you never masturbated before? You were like a Roman candle!"

"Guess we know what we're doing this summer for Independence Day."

"A whole lot of fireworks."

Go snickered. "We still have other holidays coming first: St. Patrick's Day, Easter..."

"I'll avoid wearing green so you can pinch me all you want. And Easter's too easy, with your two big eggs and all." Tray burst with laughter. Stupid joke was stupid.

Three knocks at the door. Laughter sliced short, Tray hesitated before hitting the pause button for the game.

"Tray." It was his father. "Your brothers are here. Both of them."

"Shit." Tray looked himself over again, wondering how in the world he was supposed to clean himself when the bathroom was down the hall past the office. He could've gotten past his Dad no problem, but he wasn't expecting Daniel to come back over so soon, right after he'd officially lost his virginity no less. And Nathaniel had been away for the past two years. Back already? The universe worked wonders.

"Got any tissues you could use?" Go pulled on his pants, replaying their sexual encounter in his mind, wondering if they were too loud, despite the television's volume. He couldn't remember.

"Yeah, in the bathroom. Wanna grab me some?" Tray laughed, genuinely amused at what he'd gotten himself into.

"Where's the bathroom?"

"Forget it."

"Tray?" came his father.

"Just a sec!" Then under his breath: "Shit." Why hadn't his Dad mentioned his brothers were coming earlier?

"Just wipe it off with some clothes or the blanket." He pulled on his shirt, a plain blue.

Wiping off their semen onto something he'd wear seemed gross, but then again he was almost drenched in the stuff, which, as much as he liked it, would've been a pretty gross sight as well. So he grabbed an older shirt from his closet, deciding against the blanket since clothes were easier to get washed, and wiped what he could off. At least his fur was white, so any residual evidence was hardly visible. "Still smell like the stuff."

"Hey, Tray." It was Daniel's voice, the doorknob jiggling. "You getting your dick sucked in there or what?"

The taste of Tray's cock still lingered in Go's mouth.

"How do I look?" Tray asked as he threw on his clothes.

"Passable."

Not good enough.

"Shit."

* * *

Voices jolted the air from the living room as Daniel led Go, Tray having excused himself to the bathroom. Nervousness pulsed through Go's arms and legs as two leopards were having at it in conversation, the younger one sipping lemonade from a tall glass before setting it down on its coaster. Tray's similarity to them ended with their species and Go wondered if Tray was adopted. Three all clearly spotted, a healthy mix of golden yellow and white. One: plain white. Tray was alien.

But the wiry Daniel, now leaning against the side of the couch while tracing a finger along the scar on his arm, greeted Tray upon his return with the same zeal as he did earlier with the pudgier Nathaniel, who was sitting in the loveseat all proper, dressed too formal, half-spinning the beautifully golden globe on the table to pinpoint where he'd been.

"What took so long?" Daniel cheered before fixating on the well-muscled jaguar that mirrored his brother in color. No wonder Tray wanted to come out--he had found someone to whom he could relate. Leaning in, he whispered into Tray's ear, "Looks like you snagged a good one."

Tray hushed him, relief easing his nerves; he'd cleaned most of the stickiness off his fur. Damn right he snagged a good one.

"Glad you could join us," said their father, Daniel's nose wrinkling. "Nathaniel's back. Say 'hello,' yes?"

"Hey," Tray said. "How was your trip?"

"Not a trip, Tray. I wasn't vacationing." Nathaniel's words were like stones skipping across water, bouncing proudly before reaching its end to sink: "A mission. And it went well. Saved a lot of people."

"Sure." Tray crossed arms.

"And your companion?" the father asked, adjusting his glasses. "Mind your manners, Tray."

"This is Go, a new friend. Met in swimming class. He just moved here."

Go gave a nod and a wave. Mr. Pardus's cellphone jingled and he stepped out with an apology to answer it, closing the office door behind him.

"A jaguar, huh?" Nathaniel said while his father left, looking Go over. "Are you having as much trouble as Tray here? You know: for being all white?"

"How do you mean?" Go asked, noticing how Nathaniel's eyes looked a hair's breadth too narrow on his face.

"Tray's never brought much people over," Daniel said.

Nathaniel added, "Schoolmates always considered him a sort of freak. I would know: I was only two grades ahead of him. His best friend in elementary was the tire swing, wasn't it?"

Tray didn't answer.

"And no one bothered to talk to him as a freshman. I'm glad to see he finally made one friend in the two years I've been gone." Nathaniel took another sip, the ice clinking in the glass.

"Guess the only thing luckier than I am was the tire swing." Go then noticed the rosettes on Nathaniel's face were darker, somewhat larger than Daniel's. Made his head look more pronounced, more vindictive.

"Sure," Nathaniel said. There was a silence that hung in the air like humidity, but then he asked, "What were you two doing earlier in your room, Tray?"

"Pumping guys full of lead. New video game I got last week."

"Oh," Nathaniel said. Another sip. "From my bedroom, it sounded like you guys were pumping something else."

"What?" Tray blurted. Nathaniel's old room was adjacent to his. Had he been keeping an ear to the wall, listening in?

"Play nice, Nathan," Daniel said, his scar becoming itchy. Always happened when shit was about to hit the fan.

"Do you guys normally moan like that while playing?"

Tray and Go said nothing.

"Just because you have some background noise on doesn't mean everyone else becomes oblivious. Admit it, Tray. It doesn't take five minutes to leave your bedroom--conveniently locked, by the way--to come out and say hello. Unless you guys were doing what I know you were doing."

"And what were we doing?" Tray nearly shouted.

"Something abominable." Nathaniel's use of the word "abominable" made him sound old, overly pious. He was only twenty-one for God's sake. "And your little bathroom break was to get yourself cleaned up, I take it? You missed a spot by your ear. Disgusting."

"Hey, hey," Daniel cut in. "No need for that. Let them enjoy each other's company without scrutiny, yes?"

"Enjoy each other? This isn't a video game where nothing matters once the power button's off. There are moral issues at hand."

Go was burning with embarrassment and didn't know what to say. If it wasn't for Tray, he would've stormed out of there already. None of this was their business. Not at all. And they were treating them like children, as if they had uttered the worst swear word or stolen a toy from the department store. Or had forgotten to clean behind the ears.

"Moral issues, Nathan?" Tray said, unable to resist wiping at the spot his brother noticed. Dry with cum. "You're the only one here that believes what you believe."

"I hope to turn that around."

"Just like you turned Uncle Leroy around?" Tray spat. "He won't even talk to you anymore after what you did. Fuck, it was practically a hate crime!"

"Please refrain from cursing," Nathaniel replied, still calm. "And it wasn't like I was burning a cross on his front lawn. He shouldn't be doing what he does. Simple as that. Besides, I apologized."

"Why are you even here, Nathan? All you ever do is remind us of how evil we are."

"Tray, you're a one-letter alphabet, always focused on you. Someone here has to remind us of the ultimate consequence of our choices. An eternity of darkness isn't worth the five minutes desecrating the temple of our bodies. Quit acting like such a teenager and show some restraint."

Who do you think you are? Go thought. Fists hung like morning stars.

"Oh, Nathan," Daniel groaned. "Better watch your superiority complex. They're doing nothing wrong."

"Says the guy with, what?--four, five kids now?"

"Three."

"All with different mothers, none of whom you married. Another thing that needs fixing here."

The two elder brothers exchanged verbal blows, Nathaniel cooly taking sips of his lemonade between points. By the time they'd finish, all that would be left at the bottom was ice.

"Let's go," Tray stated while his brothers combatted, pulling the jaguar towards his room. "Can't believe this."

Tray's father stepped from his office, saying goodbye to the person on his cell before snapping it shut. "What's going on?"

"Nathaniel's leading his one-man anti-gay crusade again."

Mr. Pardus took off his glasses and rubbed his forehead as if a migraine were burrowing through his frontal lobe. "Don't worry about him, Tray. He found something he could believe in. He's just... overzealous."

"Yeah--like a hooker on her first blowjob."

Go wondered if he'd been "overzealous" back in the room.

Mr. Pardus gave a hearty laugh. "Just let him run his course. Remember, even prostitutes can become saints. I'll talk to him. Just can't promise that he'll listen."

Tray nodded. That was all he could do.

* * *

Tray took Go home at his request. Conversation was sparse, comprising mostly of directions. The radio deejay spoke more than they did, wind whipping through their fur. Anger had muted the leopard, embarrassment the jaguar. When Tray pulled into the driveway of Go's house, the jaguar just sat there. Tray looked at him.

"Perhaps," the jaguar began, the word heavy, "perhaps it is best we don't talk to each other as much."

As much as he tried to empathize, Tray couldn't help but be hurt by this. "Don't let my brother get to you. I had no idea he was back. Otherwise, I would've been more cautious."

"It's not just him. I've heard some of our classmates gossiping about you and I."

"Let them talk! It doesn't matter."

"But I promised my parents that I would graduate with a low-profile here; I don't want to deal with the same kind of drama again like with your brother. You say it doesn't matter. But it does to me." He looked at Tray with a smile. "Don't worry so much. We're still friends. Just no more handjobs."

Tray forced a smile.

"We're almost out of high school," Go continued. "When summer comes, we'll have the world to ourselves. But we need to be more discreet with each other until then."

Tray nodded. "Fair enough."

"Easy enough?"

"Just sucks is all."

The jaguar leaned his head in, gave a short peck to Tray's lips when he turned back, their whiskers interweaving like fingers for a brief moment. "Just until summer."

Tray watched as the jaguar trudged to his home, half the size of the leopard's, lugging his backpack. Even as the grease-brown door shut behind him, Tray sat there, dumbfounded by how everything had failed at the drop of a hat. Life, he was learning, worked in cycles, each day split by periods of daylight, the sun radiating its warmth onto the earth. But there was always a sunset and the subsequent darkness, the world shrinking tightly beneath an ash-dark sky. Tray wondered if the sun would rise the next day.

Arriving back home in half the time, he swung the door open without closing it, found Nathaniel in the kitchen pouring himself another glass of lemonade, and punched him square in the face.