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*Chapter 2 *

"I wasn't sad about being alone. I did not mind watching others date while I stayed in my dorm. I poured over homework, read books, watched countless movies from the campus library, and wrote terrible poetry while they were out with boys. I loved the idea of college, the idea of all this knowledge being at hand and all I had to do was reach out and take it. I didn't need to have someone else around to feel complete."

"The poetry was bad, my coffee often over brewed, and my room in a constant state of disarray. I was not messy by nature I could just never decide where to put things and if I ever did I soon changed my mind. Still, I was enjoying my time on campus that second year. Those times when my emotions welled up and overtook me were rare but they still hurt deeply when they did."

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Jayne stood before her long mirror in her room staring at herself. Her eyes showed the slight redness of her desperately held back tears. She was starting to feel the emotions from class all fading away except for one. She no longer felt the heat or arousal of her shameful thoughts but she still felt the longing. The incredibly deep void of not having that warm body to pull close when she was worried or feeling isolated and alone. She looked at herself but peered through and past her reflection concentrating on her inner being.

She missed being at home with her three younger sisters. She was the eldest by far but she loved simply playing with them. They would tumble about with each other for hours in the flowery fields in behind their house happily situated just out of town. She missed her friends from high school and her life before college. She had moved east, they had moved west. She knew one or two schoolmates were somewhere on campus but she had not really known them before college. She missed those homework free weekends of sitting around at Laura's house. Laura's parents so often absent with work and letting their daughter invite friends over as she wished. It always had been just the girls though. They had spent many a late night playing games, telling gossip, and of course talking about boys.

It was those same late sleepless nights where she would first learn about her body. Games of truth or dare often became bold when the night grew late enough. It was her third time staying over at Laura's house when she had first experienced the changes of growing up.

*********

Laura sat across from Jayne broadly smiling, her round mouse ears twitching with joy. She had finally gotten Jayne to agree to play truth or dare and the girls had of course been like sharks in the water, teasing and giving her the worst questions they could. Laura shook her head heavy locks running out behind her. To Jayne's left was Tabby the rather appropriately named orange feline, though she preferred to go by Tai as of late. To Jayne's left were Amber and Colleen, a pure white rabbit and a brown squirrel respectively.

Laura's eyes bored into her friend. Jayne had finally relented. Not only had she agreed to play they finally had gotten her to take a dare. Walking a fine line, the game had to be merciless, but not too much so the players would quit. Ultimately, it had to be fun. It had to be something that would make their parents ground them all if found out of course.

"Alright Jayne, I dare you to kiss Amber on the lips!" cooed the gray and white pelted rodent. She grinned openly, teeth glinting slightly in the dancing candlelight of the living room. The curtains were drawn and everyone hushed wondering how Jayne would react.

"What?" she asked more confused that startled. "Amber's not a boy, why would I want to kiss her?" she wondered. It did not make sense. This was exactly what the girls would end up daring each night. It was why she had avoided it likely until now. However, it was a small group tonight so she did not have much choice but to join them.

Amber let a soft smile just barely show through as she responded. "No, I'm not a boy." she plainly stated. "But I do want you to kiss me." she advised. The white fur gleamed in the candlelight as she shifted closer to Jayne, let her shoulder bump into her, and just barely rubbed against her.

Jayne looked at the girl's puckering lips with uncertainty, then relented, leaned in, and softly kissed the lips. She giggled after a moment and pulled back smiling. "That was weird!" she declared loudly eliciting shushing tones from the others.

"That is good enough, I suppose." teased Laura.

The turns went around again but, when it got to Tai, another surprise was in store for her. The girl took a dare as well the entire group again growing silent, even Colleen hushed despite normally being unable to hold back her tittering laughter. Amber supplied the dare. "We want to see you take off all your clothes!" she cooed eliciting nods from everyone. Jayne found herself nodding along unknowing why.

The girl blushed softly and made a show of being embarrassed but it was clear she secretly wanted to take the dare. She stood up, with a wiggle of her hips dropped her pajama bottoms to the ground, and slipped her soft cotton top off. The girl bared all and not a single girl could keep their eyes from her. She sat back down with a smile and looked to Jayne. "My turn, truth, or dare?" she urged.

Jayne bit her lip, a dare was getting dangerous, but already they were urging her with chanting voices to take another one. She wanted to say truth. If she said, "Dare." she feared what would happen. Her lips parted and she heard herself say the word they all wanted to hear and wondered what part of her had let her mouth form the word 'Dare' once more.

The girls cheered. Tai was quick to answer. "Take off all of Amber's clothes, you didn't give her a very good kiss, you should help her be more comfortable. And take off yours too." the feline smirked twisting her tail behind her.

"No," interjected Laura, "take off everyone's clothes and then we will take off yours."

The room hushed. It was a big dare for a new girl. "Do this one and I promise you can sit out the rest of the game if you want." Laura offered after a moment's pause seeing the sudden hesitation in her eyes.

Jayne gulped softly. She eyed the other girls and then herself. She was embarrassed, that much was clear. She did not mind helping the others undress. It was new and awkward but she put herself partially out of her own body with her thoughts and started to do as bidden. Each of the girls presenting themselves openly and letting her do as instructed. Her paws occasionally rubbed a breast or grazed a pelvis unintentionally. She had to help one of them out of their bra. She noticed Laura and Colleen had on panties still that seemed to stick to their hips and pelts oddly when she slipped them down.

No she was worried most about herself. She felt so petite and small, so insignificant when compared to them. She felt as if somehow she would be under judgment and would not pass despite her chest's firmness and nice size. She did not have time to think further though. Four naked bodies descended on her and pushed her softly down. She felt her clothes slowly coaxed off. She heard their soft murrs as they bared her and finally let her up again now naked as the rest. She would feel fingers on her bare breasts and her womanly thighs and between. What surprised her as well was the slight dampness causing her panties briefly to stick to her as well. She also noticed a strange intermingled scent in the air now. Two of the girls had fingers between their legs at this point.

Laura turned to her. "You don't have to play anymore but one more question. Have you ever had an orgasm?" she purred looking at the girl with curiosity.

Jayne shook her head. No, of course she had not. She had not had any such thing. She did not know what one was but she was certain if she had one, she would know about it. Maybe she should ask for one for Christmas, her parents did dote on her if she played her cards right.

"No.", she asked not realizing the depth of the question.

"Oh, that's terrible, their so good, here watch." her friend offered. "Colleen, you can't seem to wait any more, go ahead, and show her!" Laura said with a sultry purr in her throat.

The squirrel beauty obliged openly, willingly leaning back, and bracing her body up on one paw. She spread folded legs and presented herself fully to the group. Something glistened against her womanly parts and she soon was rubbing fervently. It took almost no time before she could be heard moaning hard. Suddenly Coleen shuddered and moaned. The moan reverberated through Jayne so deeply she thought she could feel it running through her briefly. The other girls shuddered as well. A soft dull cream pearled on her womanhood and then slowly oozed down. She relaxed and laid back.

"Now you try." urged Laura. The other girls watched fervently.

"I...I can't.", she mumbled shyly. This was so sudden. She had known the girls sometimes got undressed, she had accidently walked in on that before, but she did not know about this. Laura nodded softly and moved close gently putting her arms to the shoulders of her friend from behind. Her legs folded up and just barely grazed to either side of her. Her arms lightly pulled back on Jayne's frame until she was presenting herself similar to how Colleen had.

"Just take it slow and try." urged Laura.

Jayne felt a deep shyness as her flesh seemed to grow hot. She touched herself as she was bade, tried again. She thought for a moment that there was something but then no, nothing at all. She tried again. Shyness and shame turned to frustration and she rubbed harder. No moans were emitted, no cries of impossible joy. She could not lie to herself. Embarrassing or not the moans of pleasure she had just heard were something she wanted to feel. She did not need someone to tell her it felt amazing, with the outcry Colleen had emitted it had to be.

She tried different ways and speeds but still there was only the faintest shimmer of feeling. The other girls began to become bored and Tai simply ignored her and began to moan as she nearly reached her own climax unbidden.

Laura frowned softly and assured her friend. "It's alright. It does not come the first time for everyone. "

The rest of the night had been even more embarrassing. She had watched the others climax without her, surrounded by moans of pleasure it seemed the fates had determined to deny her. Amber, her fellow rabbit, had offered to try and help but she shied away. If her own fingers were no good another's would only made her less able to climax. She was certain of that.

For the rest of the summer she found herself invited back to the circle of truth or dare periodically. She usually declined but sometimes she did agree. Each night she joined the circle of friends she found herself naked and surrounded by other's enjoying themselves, some of them even enjoying each other. She never felt it though. Only the faintest sensations ever came to her. She had secretly tried at home.

When she asked her mom shyly about orgasms, her mother had privately taken aside and told her all she needed to know. She was embarrassed further when she realized she was nearly the last of all of her classmates to learn about her sexuality and worse she could not even experience it. When she did found herself alone with her mother one afternoon and tried to ask about touching herself her mother stopped the conversation dead. "My dear a proper girl does not do such things." her mother told her firmly. Jayne still tried almost nightly.

It was on the last night before she and all of her friends left for college huddled up late at Laura's house once more she learned her final lesson. The groups had split up most of the night into their little huddles of whispers and giggles but now most of them came down to the big living room.

Everyone seemed to be in on some secret event which caused hushed giggling all around the room. Jayne was standing in the back and started to feel a prickle of fear run up her back as she noticed a few brief glances directed at her. Laura stood before everyone a wine glass of grape juice in paw.

"Girls. We are here to say farewell to each other as we each go out into the world. Nevertheless, one of us threatens to leave without knowing she is a woman. All of us are sisters, all of us have bonded together in those ways most intimate. No, not all of us have bonded physically but we all know that spiritual connection of those most private moments."

Jayne briefly thought this scene and the words all felt suddenly rather cult like. As if there was some great sacrifice being prepared, the words leading up to some unknown pinnacle.

Laura continued. "One of us is not yet a sister, nor can she be until that connection is made. That is why we are here, she is dear to us, and we must guide her on her way. Let us help her leave with her wings open and her inner self known." There seemed to be some silent queue and as she looked around the girls all started to undress. Uniforms, nightgowns, or whatever clothes they wore dropped to their feet discarded and left behind unattended. Laura was the first to undress as she walked out directly towards Jayne.

Jayne found herself suddenly surrounded by twenty rather suddenly naked girls no small number of which were probing their bodies and already starting to moan. "I wish I could be the one to guide you but tonight I want you to let your inhibitions go." Her friend smiled stepping back as Amber came forward body glistening.

"Lie down and close your eyes." the girl bade. "You don't like girls most of us are the same way, so don't think about us, just let yourself go." urged her friend softly. Jayne felt the firm but slow paws of her fellow rabbit draw her down to the floor where an unseen blanket warmly nestled into her back. She felt her legs gently spread, her knees drawn up and then her eyes closed.

At first there was nothing, a hot presence as unseen Amber moved her paws over Jayne's body never touching her, just hovering just barely over her flesh. She sighed out and relaxed and, as she did so, she felt those distant pangs return. It was the closest she had ever known to passion but still so far from what she knew was possible. She felt her nipples harden slowly as the first faint touches came to her legs, thighs, and up her stomach and sides. She had felt her nipples go pert only a few times and briefly panicked causing the sensation to dull suddenly. She relaxed again and felt it begin to return. Amber took slow long touches over her form. Jayne was only barely aware of the rest of the room. Murrs still issued occasionally but most voices were silent. Some part of her unconsciously knew eyes watched her but it was too hard to focus. She was not certain where her mind was, somewhere between fantasy and nothingness. Some male form she had thought would help her one night danced in her mind, naked and urging her close.

Paws touched her breasts and ran down her stomach to cup her womanhood almost ethereally. She felt the moisture dampen her folds, she murred, deeply and slowly. This was the first twinge of true sexual experience she had known. It stuck in her memory and stayed there eternal. The first sliver of arousal becoming the most anticipated in all moments that would follow from that day forth. Time began to lose cohesion for her.

The paws withdrew and something soft and wet pressed against her before paws moved to her breasts and stayed there. She moaned again, deeper, more longingly. She panted softly not knowing where her breath had gone. The tongue, though she did not know it, lapped slowly against her folds. Eventually, as her murrs evened the wet assistant slipped between her fully relaxed folds. She cried out now, something beyond a moan. She could not believe the feeling. It was like nothing she had imagined. She felt a sudden sharpness in the joy. A peak suddenly rose up which kept the growing sensations at nearly their maximum. The dam held back the waves of pleasure only briefly before being overtaken with a sudden and fierce rush of ecstasy. She cried out and gasped deeply for breath she simply could not find. Her moans sounded almost like crying sobs of pure joy and passion as she felt her hips clench down and her entire body shudder.

When it all passed, she opened her eyes. Amber was there, kneeling before her. "Welcome back sister."

********

I have never been able to masturbate since then except for the rarest of occasions. I also still have no interest in women and I think for a long time my interest in men was not much better. I simply did not know how to fit that part of my life into place. So it became something private, something rare, and you know what. It was better because of that. Try it, I dare you, don't have sex, don't touch, don't do anything for a month, two months, as long as you can manage and then try it again. It's amazing. It's not quantity girls, its quality. That's a good lesson for the men reading this in their underwear right now too.

So, when you wonder why I did not rush home and 'self study', that is why. It is not part of my routine, except for those very rare moments. I do still talk to Laura and the rest of the girls now and again but their all a little embarrassed about how they acted back then even when I assure them that I appreciate what they were trying to do for me. It's part of me, and I do not regret being who I am.

"Until next time. Jayne."