The Breaking Point

Story by XD-385 on SoFurry

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#38 of The Lost Element


Three days. That is how many days have passed since my friends finally found a way to get near me and put my fears to rest. And each day, I was forced to become blind and deaf to them. But here on Monday, before I could awaken, I dreamed once more. I awoke in the bedroom of Fluttershy's cottage, finding my girlfriend sleeping beside me. And like before, I dressed myself and snuck out of the house without waking anyone. Even though much of my doubts had been subdued... I still was not comfortable being tempted with a life I still could not have.

This time, I was greeted by a most unexpected sight when I opened the front door. Right as I did so, a voice spoke up from in front of me. "Good morning, sir. We are looking for one Mr. James. Is he home?"

I froze in my spot and immediately smiled at the sight before me. Both Luna and Nightmare Moon had decided to skip meeting up with me at the park and simply intercepted me right at the door. However, I was quick to throw up my hands. "Shh... Let's get outta here so we don't wake anyone up."

"Ah... Good point." Luna whispered while I stepped outside and gently closed the door behind me. Once again, the air was crisp and a bit cool. Another beautiful morning.

"I apologize if we met up with you too soon. We just decided to come straight here to save us some time." Niightmare Moon apologized while we headed down the dirt path and across the brook in front of the cottage.

"It's cool. I'm kinda glad you showed up as early as you did. Leaves us more time to do stuff." I replied while we walked across the meadow that stood before the cottage.

Luna then trotted up alongside me and asked, "So then... Where to this time? Shall we stop by and see what Pinkie Pie is up to like the last few nights?"

A tempting offer. Ever since the day I held Pinkie Pie in my arms while her voice was muted and my eyes blinded, I have been visiting her nightly. Mainly because...she always knows how to make me smile. But even so, I now had a few other friends I wanted to see as well. The first thought that came to mind was Fluttershy, but...

I almost felt a sting on my forehead. My body was trying to tell me to stay away from her. It was a strange conflicting sensation. I wanted to see her, yet I was compelled to keep my distance for fear of suffering harm a second time. With a sigh, I decided to push my thoughts of her out of my mind.

"Well... Uh..." I tried to think to who I wanted to see most. I had already been spending hours with Pinkie Pie. And Twilight and Rainbow Dash have been visiting me daily while I have been in the hospital without me having to blind myself to them. After a moment of thought, a face flashed through my mind. "I want...to see Rarity."

"The bearer of Generosity. I can certainly see why. One moment please." Nightmare Moon replied while she stepped away as a deep blue magic aura coated her horn. "Hmmm... There's Pinkie Pie again... That dream certainly seems fun. That little Button Mash... And there's Babs Seed of Manehatten... Ah, there she is."

At those words, a familiar rift seemed to open in the air before her. The Princess of Dreams then turned to look at us and smiled. "The gateway is open. Shall we be off?"

Luna then stepped forward and used her wing to try to push me towards the portal. "After you, my friend. I am certain she is waiting for you."

"Yeah... OK then." I said softly in return while I stepped forward. Curious of what I would find, I jumped through the portal and soon found myself standing on a smooth stone surface. I seemed to be in the back alley between a pair of pale buildings. The poor lighting seemed to suggest that night had only just fallen. Luna and Nightmare Moon soon emerged from the portal as well just before it closed and faded from sight. I then asked, "Um... Not where I'd expect to find Rarity..."

"Wwell, I'm not surprised. Judging by the architecture, we seem to be in Canterlot. Surely she must be nearby." Luna replied while gazing upward. She was right. After taking a closer look at the walls and windows around me, I came to understand that they were indeed of Canterlot design.

"Wait... Do you here that?" Nightmare Moon asked while her ears seemed to flick through the air. I could hear it too. There seemed to be a bit of an uproar in the air, not unlike one would hear in a stadium during a sports event. And it seemed to be coming from one end of the alley. "Over there?"

"Perhaps it is where we will find our dreaming host." Luna replied while she began to trot along the alley towards the light. Nightmare Moon and I followed after her together as the noise became increasingly louder.

When we reached the end of the alley, we were greeted by quite a noisy sight. There seemed to be a parade going on. Well, at least that was my first guess. Rows of ponies, both from the middle class and even the Canterlot elite, were lining the streets. While I could detect no music in the air, there was still quite a racket filling my ears. Although I did not see anyone walking through the street. Out of curiosity, I tapped one of the Canterlot nobles on the shoulder and asked while raising my voice to be heard over the cheering, "Excuse me! What's happening here?!"

The pony before me, who I suspect was an acquaintance of Fancy Pants, turned to face me and spoke up, "You didn't know?! It's the coronation of Princess Rarity!"

She immediately turned away to focus on the big event. It was during that moment that Nightmare Moon asked, "Princess...Rarity?"

It was at that moment that I burst out into laughter. Rarity being inducted into the royal family? That was a good one! Luna even joined in my laughter and shouted, "Princess?! Her?! Bwahahaha! Not in a million years!"

And yet, there she was. Marching down the street were a quartet of royal guards pulling what seemed to be a large grand carriage truly fit for royalty. The frame was mostly gold with the wheels bearing round hubs that showed one of the diamonds on Rarity's cutie mark while... Oh, I just cannot describe the majesty of that thing's design from just one dream. Perhaps if I ever see it again, I will be able to more properly recall the details.

Rarity, however, I can remember much more clearly. She stood at the back of the carriage and waved enthusiastically at her admirers. Truly, she was at the apex of the Canterlot elite. She wore a flowing liight blue dress that seemed to match the colors of her cutie mark and appeared to blend well with her gorgeous white coat. As to be expected from a princess, she was clad in jewelry. The overall shapes of her attire seemed to be a mix and match of those worn by Celestia and Luna. Her shoes appeared to be identical to those of Luna in shape while her crown and necklace seemed to match those being worn by Celestia most of the time. However, the color was a shimmering silver and a light blue diamond matching the shape of the Element of Generosity were embedded in the center of her necklace and crown. Truly, she was a sight to see.

"Well... Color me surprised. She does indeed wear the royal garb quite well." Nightmare Moon said while we watched the carriage being pulled by.

"But do you think she'd ever be cut out for the life of a princess?" I asked while briefly glancing at my two royal friends for their input.

Luna merely shook her head as a crooked smile spread across her lips. "Not likely. Besides, I doubt she would be willing to leave behind her passion for fashion. The role of a ruler leaves little time for such affairs."

She certainly had a point. As stressful as it can be on occasion, Rarity loves her job. While I am sure she would love to indulge in the life of royalty, I doubt she would be willing to let go of her sewing machine, fabrics, and silks for very long. Fashion is what she lives for.

As the carriage passed by us with the cheering crowd drowning out the sound of pretty much everything else, Rarity turned to face our direction while waving her hoof. But when she did, she suddenly seemed to stop. I decided to go ahead and wave back before she could get much further. However, I then thought I heard her voice over the roar of the crowd. When I did, the carriage suddenly stopped. "Wait. It's stopping?"

When the carriage rolled to a halt, the crowd of admirers began to quiet down when I saw Rarity hop off of the carriage before trotting in my general direction. Luna then said, "I think she saw us..."

I heard the sound of Rarity's voice speak up as the crowd of ponies in front of me began to move aside. "So sorry, would you mind... And you! Please stand aside! I hope I'm not being a bother!"

A few seconds later, she finally emerged through the crowd. And I was quick to drop to one knee to bring our faces closer together. At first, she did not say anything. And neither did I. A new tension filled the air as all ponies in the immediate area fell silent.

It was then, with no one else between us, that I began to understand who I was seeing. I felt a faint warmth beginning to fill my barely quivering eyelids. Rarity then reached out to me with a hoof as her voice began to break. "It's you... Darling, do you see me? Do you hear me?"

"Yeah..." I whispered before reaching out to her as well. Out of nowhere, I felt the tears flow. And I felt hers dripping upon my shoulder. That wonderful mare... I could finally and see her again with no restrictions. I felt her quiver in my arms, wracked with overwhelming joy.

The crowd was respectfully sillent, as were the two princesses behind me. However, once the tears had run their course and Rarity had released me from her grasp, the voice of a noble mare from somewhere nearby called out. "Your highness! Is he your beloved, by any chance?"

I suppose the audience had mistaken Rarity's show of tearful affection for a more romantic gesture. But just as I was about to deny the claim, Rarity suddenly smiled and spoke out loudly. "Why... Yes! Yes, he is! We are due to be wed in the coming months!"

"Wait... What?!" I yelped upon hearing those words. Luna and Nightmare Moon simply exploded into laughter at the sudden claim from Rarity while the crowd burst into a bit of an uproar. Clearly the concept of a member of royalty being romantically involved with a commoner was really something to talk about. Regardless, I then spoke in a loud whisper, "Rarity, you know we're not involved with each other like that! Why would you..."

However, Rarity merely covered my mouth and spoke quietly into my ear. "Just play along, darling! I'm well aware by this point that this is merely a dream."

"Wait... You know?" I asked while the crowd continued to whisper and gossip amongst themselves.

"Well, yes. The moment I saw you with Princess Luna and Nightmare Moon, I knew then that this glorious event must be a dream. That, and seeing Pinkie Pie juggling her own eyeballs a short ways back instilled some doubt in me as well." Rarity explained while I got a good snicker out of the thought of seeing Pinkie Pie repeating that little skit from a few nights ago.

However, I then heard another voice from likely one of the Canterlot elite then speak up, "Truly stupendous! Not only a princess, but a prince as well?!"

Those words caused Rarity to give me a smirk that got me feeling rather nervous. However, she then turned her gaze towards the twin princesses of the moon and promptly bowed. "Oh, good evening, your highnesses! So sorry that I failed to notice you there!"

The crowd seemed equally surprised to see two of their rulers casually standing just behind them and all turned before bowing as well. Of course, I know that Rarity likely knew they were there as well since she already had claimed to have seen me with them a minute earlier.

Luna merely shook her hoof and played along to maintain the illusion that the dream had crafted. "No need to bow, my subjects. This is truly a time of celebration, is it not? And I see that a certain humble unicorn of Ponyville has joined the royal pantheon with me and my sisters. Tell me, what achievements have granted you the privilege of wearing the crown?"

Possibly to avoid taking up too much of anyone's time, Rarity kept her response as textbook simple as possible. "Outstanding contributions to Equestrian society."

"A rather vague claim, but I am certain your words carry much weight to them." Nightmare Moon replied with a slight smirk. And she was right. That was a very vague claim. But in the world of dreams, I suppose that is enough.

"Ah, yes. Details, details... So much to say with so little time. But shall we continue on? I'd hate to hold up the procession any longer... Oh, wait! Nightmare Moon! If you would be so kind as to..." Rarity began to speak before motioning with her hoof for Nightmare Moon to listen more closely.

The Princess of Dreams lowered her head so that Rarity would be able to whisper into her ear. "Hmm... You don't say? I believe I can manage that." Nightmare Moon then lifted her head and looked at me with a smirk while her horn's magic aura appeared. "Time for a royall makeover, prince!"

"Huh?! Wait a second!" I yelped in surprise just before Nightmare Moon cast some sort of spell at me. I did not feel much, although I soon noticed that my attire felt slightly...less casual.

"Ooh, dashing!" I heard one of the nobles around me call out from nearby. A slight uproar rose around me while I took a moment to look myself over. My more casual attire had vanished and had been replaced with... I had seen that clothing somewhere before. A white jacket with twin tails hanging, white slacks, and polished black shoes. The same attire I wore before I awoke from...

"Much better!" I heard Rarity say before I noticed her horn become coated by a light blue magic aura, as did my hand. "Now then, let's not delay any longer! This way, my love!"

"Whoa, hang on!" I said with a bit of a yelp as I found myself being dragged through the crowd and then up onto the carriage. It was then that it began to roll forward again while a thunderous roar of applause filled the air.

"Go on, darling. Wave at them. They are your subjects now, after all." Rarity said from beside me while she constantly waved at her admirers. Having no idea what was really going on and just being along for the ride, I began to wave as well with a bit of a crooked smile on my face. What a dream this was turning out to be.

The coronation procession seemed to end at the royal palace itself. The carriage came to a stop just outside the palace. I carefully hopped off of the carriage and gently took Rarity'ss hoof in my hand while helping her down as well. The crowd seemed to have not been permitted to follow at a certain point, so the area was largely empty at the time aside from a royal guard or two making their rounds.

"Well, I never thought I'd sit through one of those before. Prince James? Peh..." I grumbled while looking myself over. I could never imagine myself wearing a crown or being seated on a throne.

"Just bear with it, darling. It's only for the evening. We are merely dreaming now, are we not?" Rarity replied while carefully adjusting her crown.

Something about those words caught me by surprise. "Wait a minute... You weren't kidding when you said you knew this is a dream?"

"Well... As I said, when I saw you with both Nightmare Moon and Princess Luna, I knew it could not be coincidence. And all things considered... I would never make it to the crown. It's all just a fantasy I've had for quite some time now, darling." Rarity replied with a bit of a nervous smile.

"Yeah, I seem to recall you wanting to become a princess by marrying a prince. But is that really how it works?" I asked in return while having little idea of how Equestria's monarchy works. I thought a princess getting married results in her becoming a queen. Or was I wrong?

While the guards who were pulling the carriage removed their harnesses, I noticed a pair of dark figures approaching us through the air. And sure enough, Nightmare Moon and Luna soon descended towards us before landing beside us just outside the door to the palace. I then heard Luna ask, "Well, that was a fine procession. But what happens now, dreamer?"

"Well... That is a good question now, isn't it?" Rarity replied before suddenly reaching out and wrapping her arm around my leg. "But it should be more interesting with a friend, shouldn't it?"

Nightmare Moon and Luna looked at each other out of the corners of their eyes while glancing at the two of us. It was a bit of an unnerving situation and I felt myself starting to get goose bumps. Rarity even gave me a rather whimsical smirk while winking at me. Finally, Nightmare Moon snickered briefly before smirking at us. "Let me take a wild guess. You wouuld prefer to spend the evening with your friend to catch up on lost time. Am I right?"

This prompted a rather surprised gaze from Rarity, although I was suspecting that claim myself. And that was certainly what I originally had in mind when I requested that we visit her. Regardless, Rarity gracefully bowed before the two royal sisters. "With all due respect, your highness... I do. May James and I please spend this night together so that we may reconnect after so long?"

Luna was quick to nod with a smile. "You may. I understand that being near each other has been...a challenge, to say the least. We should not deny you such a request in these troubled times."

Nightmare Moon, on the other hand, seemed slightly more reluctant to leave the two of us alone. Or rather, she was unwilling to leave me. Over the last few nights, I had been exclusively spending my time with Pinkie Pie and no one else while Nightmare Moon and Luna went off to explore the dream realm together. And as much as I treasure them and have sincerely appreciated their efforts to be there for me, I truly wanted to spend time with Rarity. I merely waited in brief silence before Nightmare Moon nodded. "Indeed. You should be allowed to spend time with those who were unable to go near you these past few weeks. Should you need us, we will be around."

"Thank you... You have fun out there, all right?" I replied with a grateful smile while throwing my arms around Nightmare Moon for a parting embrace. I heard a quiet chuckle from her while she returned the favor with her wings. Seconds later, Luna and Nightmare Moon trotted down the steps and back towards Canterlot proper for a night out on the town. I doubt even they have ever truly stayed up from dusk to dawn.

"Well then, my prince... What shall we do now?" I heard Rarity ask before I looked down and saw her batting her rather gorgeous eyes at me.

"Uh... Rarity? You know we're not in a relationship, right? You don't have to keep calling me that." I retorted while noticing that she was really pushing this whole 'betrothed' scenario she had claimed with the townsfolk.

She let out a brief sigh before smirking at me. "True...but a mare can dream, can she not?"

"Isn't that what you're doing right now?" I asked while Rarity laughed at my words. Perhaps I should have gone easy on her since dreams are a time of rest and escapism for the dreamer and that she was entitled to letting her desires flow a bit.

The two of us then entered the palace and proceeded through the halls. The palace was quiet, as to be expected of the later hours. Although I have to say Rarity looked absolutely radiant in the moonlight whenever we passed by a window. Her silky white coat almost seemed to glow and that dress appeared to have a bit of a shine to it. "Uh... Rarity? Did you make that dress yourself?"

My question seemed to catch her by surprise since she came to a stop before looking back at her drress. "Hm? My dress? Actually... I'm not entirely certain of where it came from. Why do you ask?"

"Well... It's just that you look amazing in the moonlight with it." I replied quietly while trying to avert my gaze.

Rarity fell silent momentarily. At least until I glanced back at her and noticed her motioning for me to come closer with her hoof. I lowered myself to one knee to bring myself closer to her. But before I could ask her anything, she brought her face close to mine and... That sweet sensation upon my lips. A kiss. She then whispered to me while gazing into my eyes with those beautiful pools of azure, "You have no idea how I longed to hear your praise these past two weeks. It's so good to finally speak with you again, darling..."

I was afraid of sounding corny, but I decided to return the favor while bashfully smiling at her. I then whispered while tenderly cupping her jaw in my hand, "I missed the sound of your elegant voice myself."

"Oh, darling..." She whispered tearfully while her cheeks instantly became stained with her tears. She then suddenly reached out to me, held me in an embrace, and pressed her lips against mine in a powerful kiss as our tongues soon touched. Just remembering it makes me feel warm all over.

I held that wonderful mare in my arms while our kiss deepened. It felt so lovely... I could never replace Rarity. When we finally did pull away, she continued to smile at me with such shimmering tears flowing down her face. "I love you, my prince... And I always will..."

Hearing those words... I felt tears of my own begin to flow. After so many days of mental and emotional anguish, to hear those words from someone I longed for and feared I had lost forever was more than I could bear. I choked as my chest tightened before I held her tightly in my embrace. "I love you too, m'lady..."

Rarity whispered and lightly hissed into my ear while tenderly stroking my back with her hoof as I lightly sobbed and whimpered in her grasp. "Shhh... I'm here, darling... There is nothing to come between us now..."

"I know... Thank you..." I squeaked out as I trembled in her embrace while her head rested on my shoulder. I wanted to stand up so as to not stall any longer, but I simply could not get my legs to cooperate.

After a couple of minutes, or at least until Rarity was certain I had relaxed enough, she released me from her grasp before tenderly placing her hoof in my hand and pulling me along. "Come, darling. Let's get out of this stuffy hallway and out to someplace a bit more...accommodating."

With a nod, I silently followed after the beautiful mare. We did not go far before reaching a familiar area of the palace that I quite like. The royal garden. And it was even more beautiful than I last saw as, being summer, there were many fireflies fluttering about while casting their occasional tail glows in the air. "Oh, wow... Never thought I'd see fireflies out here at such a high altitude."

"Marvvelous, is it not?" Rarity said softly while also partaking in the view before us. I have to say, the place was refreshingly deserted. That was good. At the moment, the only person I wanted to spend time with was dear Rarity.

Over the next several minutes, we said little while we strolled through the garden, partaking in the sights and the smells of the fauna and flora. Along with the dozens of glows from fireflies, we heard the gentle hoots of an owl and the twittering of a nightingale. It just felt so...magical. Like a true escape from any negativity that may have been lingering in my mind.

Eventually, we came to a sight I had seen a couple of times before. A type of covered patio tucked into the far corner of the garden that was illuminated by several lit candles. There was one piece of furniture that drew my attention immediately. A long plush sofa with a crimson finish. Possibly a type of personal rest area or just a place of relaxation while being shielded from the elements. I felt compelled to approach it and just relax upon it. Which I did. I spread myself out on it and rested my head upon a matching square crimson pillow at one end.

I looked at Rarity, who seemed to be looking back at me with a curious gaze. I lightly patted myself on the chest to signal to her that I was more than willing to let her rest upon me. The beautiful unicorn then smiled at me while she approached the form of a cast iron table. Her horn was then coated by her billowing light blue magic aura, as was her dress. It seemed to detach from near her shoulders, but then began to float up slightly while she turned sideways.

I was rather curious of what she was up to, so I watched in silence. However, I soon felt a twinge of borderline erotic excitement fill me while she lifted the dress forward until it completely obscured her body below the eye. Her gaze changed as well, her eye almost closing to show a very alluring gaze towards me. Almost as if she was attempting to seduce me. I could even feel my body becoming hot with sweat while a stirring in my groin caught my attention. But before I could think about it too long, she suddenly cast her dress away and let it become draped across the table nearby like a tablecloth. Her gorgeous white body was revealed, although she did nothing to remove the shimmering silver jewelry.

"Uh... Are you trying to tell me something, Rarity?" I asked while hoping my body's excitement was not showing too much.

Rarity smirked at me while she slowly walked towards me. "Mmm... Perhaps I am, my love. But that is for you to interpret, isn't it?"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rdk6P2ts3H4

Her words made my skin tingle. I adore that mare. Once she was beside me, I reached out and held Rarity's hoof before helping her pull herself up to the sofa before carefully turning her over and letting her rest upon my chest with her head lying just below my chin. My hand reached down and gently rested upon her chest. There were no words between us. Just an overpowering warmth.

A few minutes passed before I began to silently glance about to survey my surroundings. It was while I was doing this that I noticed something just to my right. A bowl set upon a stool that contained pieces of small fruit ranging from orange wedges to grapes to cherries to strawberries with the leaves cut off. I felt an idea pop into my head before I whiispered into Rarity's ear. "Rarity."

"Hm?" I heard her quietly mumble while turning her head in an attempt to look at me. I then reached into the bowl and lifted a grape from it while pinched between my thumb and index finger. Upon seeing me hold the purple oval above her, I heard my dear friend let out a sigh. "Oh, darling... You never cease to amaze me."

Rarity then returned her head to its original position while I lowered my hand towards her face. While I could not see her mouth, I had a good idea of where it was. I soon felt her lips upon my finger while she took the tiny fruit from my grasp and gently chewed it before swallowing in silence. All the while, my left arm was securely draped across her chest while her forelegs were curled over it. That moment was...just so romantic that I cannot help blushing when I think of it.

Over and over, I brought fruit to my friend and felt her remove it from my fingers each time. Although I soon noticed her magic aura coat her horn again. I then heard her whisper, "My turn, love."

I noticed a cherry rise up from the bowl next to me while covered by the same billowing aura. It seemed that the moment called for a bit of turnabout. Even without looking at me, Rarity expertly guided the cherry to my lips and allowed me to consume it. Much to my relief, I found that the pit inside had already been removed. I was especially impressed that she could accurately move something to my mouth without even looking at me, but I should not have been surprised. She has already displayed such mastery over the levitation spell many times before while moving things with it without even watching.

Back and forth, we fed each other bits of sweet fresh fruit. There were no words. Only the sounds of the night with only the stars, moon, fireflies, and nearby candles casting light over us. However, between bites, I heard Rarity speak quietly. "James... I am so in love with you, I can barely stand it..."

"I am honored to hear that, m'lady..." I whispered in return while I brought an orange slice to her lips.

Once she was able to speak again, she did so while levvitating a strawberry towards me. "How could I have ever chosen any number of diamonds over you... The way you touch... The way you love... It is mastery beyond your years... You are so romantically developed, I would expect such love from a stallion twice your age... Truly, your talent is bottomless love."

I felt genuinely flattered by that praise, especially since it would not be the first time I had been told that. While she feasted on another grape, I asked, "You really think so, Rarity?"

"I know so, darling. You are wonderful... So wonderful... Fluttershy has no knowledge of how blessed she is to have you..." Rarity whispered while almost sounding as if she was in tears.

At the mention of Fluttershy, I felt a twinge of bitterness in my heart. I am sure that Rarity must have noticed as well since I soon felt her hoof upon my left hand. I mean... I knew she still exists. She came to me. I felt her. I knew she was there. But even though that memory has all but faded, my body still remembers... The physical agony that radiated in my skull when she struck me there. I heard Rarity whisper, "Darling... Please do not tell me that you still hold misgivings towards her..."

"I can't help it... I mean, yeah... You kicked me right in the chest, but that was only to keep me away from the boulder you were carrying. My armor also helped prevent me from getting hurt. But she... Fluttershy kicked me right in the head with the sole intention of causing me harm and she knocked my helmet off first. There's a world of difference between them... I want to forget, but...I can't." I muttered in return while my right hand hung limply down the side of the sofa. I had suddenly lost my drive to do much. I could not even bring myself to reach for another piece of fruit.

I heard Rarity let out a long sigh while she lifted my left hand and set it upon her wrist. I could feel something there. A round metal band with small nubs aligning its length. The bracelet... "Darling... I understand... And I will do all I can to help mend your heart..."

She turned herself around and gazed into my eyes while her hoof rested over my heart. "James... Tonight, rest and forget about the pain. Just for tonight...I will be your mare."

I felt her chest upon mine while those glittering azure eyes gazed into mine. The offer she had just given me. I was unsure of what to think of it. "Rarity... What do you mean?"

She smiled lovingly while a noticeable pink hue shone through the white coat on her cheeks. "Come with me, darling. I will show you."

With little reason to doubt her, I did as she requested and followed her through the garden while leaving her dress behind. With nothing obstructing my view, her entire gorgeous body was on full display in the moonlight to the point where she almost seemed to glow. Her gait seemed noticeably nervous despite her calm demeanor. I could only imagine what she had in mind.

We soon entered the palace once more before walking down another hall near the outer edge of the structure. Rarity seemed to be focusing on the doors we were passing, as if she was looking for a very specific chamber. "Hmmm... I do believe... Here it is!"

She stopped at one door and promptly opened it before she stepped inside with me close behind her. I heard the door close behind me, as well as the clicking of the lock. It seemed we had stepped into a vacant guest room not unlike one I had stayed in once before. Barely any light was showing, but a quick click nearby fixed that with the activation of an antique lamp.

Feeling that now was a good time, I decided to ask the question once more. "So... Uh... What did you mean earlier?"

I froze as I suddenly found myself being lifted into the air while my entire body was coated in Rarity's magic aura. "I meeant exactly as I said, darling." Rarity said with a lovestruck smile as I felt my jacket being removed along with my shoes before being cast over a nearby chair. Once my socks and trousers had been removed as well while leaving my boxers intact, Rarity set me down on the bed while continuing to speak in that elegant sweet tone of hers. "For tonight alone, I will be your mare."

It was then that I understood what she was referring to. And while nervous...I could not refuse her. I understood that her feelings were genuine and I was desperate for her company. And...I would give anything to fill that hole in my heart that had not quite closed yet. Even in this world of illusion. "You would do that for me?"

Rarity smiled with a truly loving smile on her face and with such silent passion in her eyes. "Of course, my love. And as your mare..." She began to reply before pausing to use her magic to lift that silver crown from her head before casting it aside. "I must do all I can to make my prince feel as loved as possible. Because I know he would do the same for me."

I felt myself quiver in anticipation. I had almost forgotten what it was like to receive such love. Step by step, Rarity walked upon the bed while I watched, stepping out of her shoes one by one before pushing them away. But when she turned her head to look at me with that adoring expression, she also moved her hips to the side. And with a lift of her tail...she exposed herself to me.

I was uncertain of what to think at first. After living in Equestria for a full year, I had simply become accustomed to merely not noticing the genitals of ponies whenever I am outside an intimate situation. But as this was clearly an intimate situation, Rarity's vulva was on full display. She was clearly blushing while keeping her beautiful curled tail lifted to the side. Her thick lips were dark and noticeably moist in the lamp's glow. She then asked somewhat meekly, "Am I to your liking, darling?"

"You're beautiful, Rarity..." I said while never looking away. I heard a faint giggle rumble in her throat while she stepped sideways to bring herself closer to me while never turning her beautiful hips away.

Very soon, she stood before me and swayed her gorgeous tail while keeping it raised. "Do what you wish, dear. I'm all yours."

I quivered. Her words were like honey to my ears. My hand reached out and tenderly caressed the silky coat over the curve of her flank. A long sigh of pleasure escaped her lips while she rolled her head back and forth through the air. A moment later, I saw an unexpected sight under her tail I cannot easily describe. Rarity's vulva 'winked' at me, a clear sign of her desire for the man who was pleasuring her.

Knowing what she wanted, my hand slid from the side of her flank to the inside. Ever so tenderly, I traced my fingertips along her thick marehood. I heard a loud gasp from Rarity as my fingers touch her, sliding up and down those beautiful dark lips. I heard her whimper, "Oh, my love... You truly do know what a mare wants..."

"Please let me know if I do anything wrong." I replied with a calm smile, feeling glad with myself that I was bringing my best friend such pleasure. More than anything, I was feeling most happy knowing that I was making her happy.

"Oh, I know you won't do anything that would displease me, my love... Please, carry oooohhhh!!!" Rarity began to speak before she yelped in a pleasure spike. I had started to use my middle finger and thumb to push her lips apart and tenderly rub my index finger against the soft moist pink flesh within. "You... Oh my... You... Mmm... Darling, I love you so..."

"I love you too, your highness." I replied with a slight chuckle, playing off of Rarity's current royal status while also finding some slight amusement with how effectively I was causing her to turn into putty in my hands. I was amazed by how much control I had over her.

After a few minutes of constant pleasuring and listening to Rarity's angelic voice, I pulled my hand away from her while the beautiful unicorn trembled before me. She panted and whimpered, overwhelmed with pleasure I doubt she had ever experienced before. I was quick to notice that my fingers were coated in her womanly fluids as a result of her arousal.

The idea both intrigued and disgusted me at the same time. A quick sniff of the fluid that coated my fingers filled my nostrils with a very strong scent that both surprised and pleased me. With some hesitation, I brought my fingers to my lips and traced my tongue over them. The flavor... It was not as strong as I expected. A type of sweet womanly nectar. The taste is difficult to describe, but it just tasted so...her. It was the flavor of Rarity. "You... You taste lovely, m'lady."

My beautiful friend looked at me over her shoulder and smiled with a powerful blush flushing her cheeks. I then felt her beautiful tail caressing my face while she spoke weakly, "I was hoping you'd like it... But now it's my turn."

I felt something tug on my boxers while her horn was engulfed in a familiar light blue aura. And a second later, I felt my shorts being yanked down my legs before watching it get flung across the room. Rarity then whispered as she gazed downward, "Oh my..."

For once, I felt genuinely embarrassed as she beheld my male equipment. I turned my gaze towards the nearest window and spoke, "Sorry... I know I'm not exactly stallion material here..."

I was on the verge of speaking further, but I froze when I felt her hoof upon my lips. Rarity was smiling so lovingly at me before she pulled her hoof away and kissed me sweetly on the lips. "Darling... Do not say another word. It's beautiful."

No words were spoken further. This time, it was Rarity who was in control. She slowly lowered her face, leaving me paralyzed in anticipation. My length was not entirely erect quite yet. But just when I thought she was about to take the whole thing into her mouth, I got a different sensation instead. The feel of her lips.

Rarity kissed my flaccid length, causing me to shudder as if a jolt of electricity had just coursed through me. Over and over, I felt her angelic lips kiss me, my erection slowly growing until I felt it twitch and throb with need. It happened so quickly... My flesh merely dough to be shaped into what Rarity desired. I heard her whisper once more as I felt her muzzle tenderly rub against it, "You are just so lovely, sweet prince... I cannot imagine anyone else doing all this with me who is not you..."

"I'm honored, m'lady..." I whispered back while tenderly caressing the indigo coils of her luscious mane. It was only then that I felt a warm wet sensation all around my hardened length. Rarity had taken me into her mouth, moaning softly while I felt her tongue caress my flesh skillfully enough to prompt a grunt of pleasure from me. Her head bobbed up and down for a minute or two before she stopped, my length coated in her saliva while a light gasp was emitted from her gaping mouth. That blush in her cheeks never subsided once. With a sigh, Rarity looked up at me while placing one last kiss on the very tip of my hard and throbbing flesh. "I adore your taste, dear..."

I could only smile. She was so calm and graceful, but clearly joyous. However, she then stood up on the bed once more and slowly turned around before lifting her tail high once more, giving a completely unobstructed view of her beautiful moist marehood. She then looked at me over her shoulder and beckoned me with such a lovely smile. "Your mare needs you, my love."

A strong warmth filled me. She was right there, that beautiful mare. Tail raised, presenting herself to me. At any other time, I would be conflicted over what to do. But in this realm of dreams, the norms of the real world clearly did not apply. I wanted her. And I knew she wanted me. For this single night, we were no longer friends. We were lovers.

Without a word, I pulled myself forward. My fingers once more caressed those beautiful white flanks, prompting a shiver of glee from my beautiful friend that was promptly followed by a quiet shriek of pleasure as my fingers teased and rubbed the diamonds that made up her cutie mark. "Oooh, darling... Must you tease me so?"

"Maybe." I said with a bit of a smirk while almost feeling tempted to laugh. The awkwardness between us was steadily fading. I was feeling much more at ease about the whole thing, as if it was what was meant to be. My hands slid along her slender sides, caressing her ribs before sliding underneath and caressing her chest and belly all while she sighed in joy. But then, I decided to go further. I slid my hands further down her body and found them. Two soft mounds with a tiny nub in the middle of each.

"Oh... Oh my... James... My teats?" Rarity asked while looking back at me with a questioning, yet joyful gaze. I soon replied with a smile of my own while tenderly rolling her onto her side. There they were. Two small beautiful mounds in her coat with a dark spot in the middle. My hands continued to knead the soft flesh, my fingers tenderly pinching the two dark nipples as Rarity gritted her teeth and groaned in response to the spikes in pleasure she was receiving.

I soon tired of just feeling and decided to go further. I brought my face to Rarity's slender frame and began to lightly kiss her lovely teats while she gasped and moaned at the touch of my lips. And soon, I went even further. I clamped my lips over one of her teats and began to suckle, prompting a long and low sigh of pleasure from the beautiful mare. She soon whispered while watching, "Mmmm... Drink all you want, dear. Mama has plenty."

Something in those words sparked something in me. My erection only throbbed harder, desperate for release in spite of it being far too soon. While I suckled, my hand tenderly caressed Rarity's slender belly. That beautiful perfect body that she had tended to and tempered for so long. Truly the epitome of beauty in the mares of Equestria. However, my suckling did not go on for much longer. I heard Rarity groan before I felt an unseen force pull me away and turn my face towards Rarity. She was not smiling, but she was clearly overwhelmed with sexual bliss. Her words were direct and partially a wheeze, half pleading, half commanding. "Darling... Please... No more waiting. Make me yours... Make me your mare..."

Those words were a command I could not resist. We had come too far to stop. I nodded before reaching out and placing a soft kiss upon her lips, prompting a delighted smile from her. Already lying on her side, she lifted one hind leg for me to hold onto. I got on my knees and carefully aligned myself with her winking marehood. And then...I began the plunge into her waiting depths.

Such warmth... I even let out a long gasp at the sensation that was engulfing my length while Rarity yelped and groaned as I hilted myself to her body. I waited a brief moment while she trembled at the new sensations that were flooding her. I leaned forward and whispered while holding up her leg, "Am I doing OK?"

"Oh... Far more than OK... You're doing fabulous, darling... Please... Don't stop... More..." She groaned while laying her head down. I felt her tail curl around my lower back, trying to beckon me to stay. A request I had no intention of denying.

I pulled back slowly before just as slowly pushing back into my beautiful lover. My thrusts and strokes were slow and precise, carefully working its way to the climax. I was careful to pace myself to insure to not exhaust myself too soon. I was not doing it for my pleasure. I was doing it for her. And her soft moans and gasps were all the confirmation I needed to know that I was succeeding.

"Darling... Let's try it like this now..." I heard Rarity whisper before I pulled back to allow her to move. She slowly climbed to a standing position, but then once again presented those beautiful flanks to me with her tail moved aside. "Please... Claim me like a stallion, my prince..."

And so I did. I grasped those curvy white flanks and thrust my hips forward. This time, she yelped and trembled while her legs shook. I soon slowed down my rhythm to help draw out the pleasure the best I could, keeping my thrusts slow while always pushing as deep as I could go.

That tail swayed and wagged, caressing my torso and chest while I pleasured my lover. I leaned forward over her back, my hands grasping and caressing her shoulders and sides while her beautiful voice never ceased to sing her ecstasy. Eventually, my hands slid under her and rested upon her belly. As I thrust into her, I felt such a powerful natural desire. I did not only wish to make love to her. I wanted to fill her. To breed her. To give this wonderful mare my child. No... My foal.

Even though I did not say a word, I still heard her whisper back to me. "Yes, darling... I want it too..."

I was not expecting her to speak. I lifted my head to look ahead and soon saw Rarity gazing back at me over her shoulder with a most hopeful smile. "Please... Do not stop... Make certain every last drop ends up inside me... Where it is needed..."

I could see it in her beautiful azure eyes as well. That sacred desire. I began to thrust harder, spurred on by the desire to claim Rarity as mine. And that she may claim me as hers. My thrusts became hard and fierce, but I soon overexerted myself. I found myself struggling to keep my rhythm steady. And I am certain Rarity was beginning to notice as well. "Darling... Wait..."

Not wanting to disappoint her, I stopped immediately and pulled back. "Yes?"

Rarity's gaze showed nothing but delight and desire. She turned around and used her magic to gather up the pillows against the bed's headboard to build a soft wall for me to lean against. With a gentle push, she caused me to fall backwards and sit against the wall of pillows behind me. She then stepped forward and pulled herself up with her hooves resting upon my shoulders, my length standing up between her hind legs. With an endearing smile, she began to lower her body. "You've done so much already, my love. Allow me to do the rest."

And with that, she took my length into her. I shuddered and groaned at the feel of her warmth surrounding me once more, my hands reaching out and gripping her hips with my fingers digging into her cutie marks. Such elegance and grace, even in the throes of lovemaking. Truly a marvel...

Her eyes closed while her lips hung open with constant moaning that was nectar to my ears. I could barely even keep track of the minutes that passed. But with how masterfully her thick equine lips squeezed my hard length, neither of us had long to go before we reached the climax of our efforts. My hands slid over her smooth silky chest before sliding down to her belly. But when I did, her hoof left my left shoulder and rested over my hands. The one that bore the bracelet of silver and opals.

I looked up at her, even while she continued to ride my hard throbbing length. Rarity smiled longingly at me, so much love floating in those eyes. "Yes, my prince... You know what we want... Do it... Give mama what she needs..."

"Oh, honey..." I whispered in return as I felt a familiar pressure building in my groin. Rarity responded accordingly, bouncing up and down on me with unexpected speed. But not once did Rarity remove her hoof from my hand as it rested upon her belly. As if she was hoping my touch was blessing that part of her body.

It was coming. The urge to release was building. Rarity's speed was immense and her moans had turned into shrieking joyful cries. She was pleading. Begging for me to fill her. Finally, she threw her arms around me and sank my length deep inside her as her moist warm folds quivered around me. "Oh, my prince...!"

It was then that I could hold back no longer either. I too held onto her tightly while I held back as long as I could. But it was a futile struggle as I suddenly felt a torrent of warmth burst down the length of my erection before exploding into my lover. "Rarity...!"

One throb. Then another. And then another and a few more as I planted my warm seed into Rarity's waiting womb. She quivered and whimpered as orgasmic bliss wracked us both. Man and mare, together. Soon, as our combined juices oozed out of her body, I felt myself lazily lifting my hand and soon found Rarity's hoof searching for mine. The hoof that held the bracelet I had given her. I curled my fingers forward while her hoof tenderly rested in my palm. I then found myself whispering, "I love you...Rarity..."

I heard a muffled sob before hearing her reply with a quiet joyous tone, "I love you...forever, James..."

I slid down the wall of pillows until just my head was resting against it while Rarity rested atop me. I felt so honored... So blessed that such a wonderful and beautiful mare loved me so wholly and truthfully. She soon rolled to my right and dislodged my exhausted length from her body, but her hoof never left my hand. She did not say a word. She merely gazed at me with those beautiful azure eyes.

Minutes passed. The air was quiet save for the sound of a gentle zephyr outside the window. I gazed at Rarity while she gazed back at me. The afterglow was just intoxicating. I felt my heart swell as our eyes met. With a long sigh, I placed my other hand atop Rarity's hoof as it rested in my palm. "Rarity... Would you..."

I was silenced as Rarity tenderly rested her other hoof upon my lips. She then whispered as tears began to gather in her eyelids, "Darling... Please...don't. Do not ask me to take Fluttershy's place, because..." Her joyous smile then dissolved into a tearful frown as the tears flowed. "Because...I would not be able to resist the offer..."

She read my mind. I hated the thought of leaving Fluttershy after all we had been through, even after what she did to me. I was so...conflicted. I averted my eyes as I felt a feeling of shame come over me, but Rarity was quick to cup my cheek and direct my gaze towards her once more. "Darling... Have you visited her in your dreams yet?"

"No... I'm afraid to..." I muttered in return. After having encountered that grim reminder of what Pinkie Pie had become back then, I had only been visiting Pinkie Pie due to how reliably she can make me feel happy. Although... I just now remembered I did not see that grayish doppelganger again after the first time I visited her dreams... I would have almost expected to encounter Rarity's equivalent at some point during this dream as well, but... I never saw her once. But I digress.

Rarity let out a quiet sigh before she began to speak while tenderly caressing my cheek. "Darling... I promise you that she is the mare that you remember. I know you must be afraid of being hurt again, but... She loves you. And as much as it pains me to admit this... She needs you more than I do." She then pulled herself closer to me and whispered, "Promise me... Tomorrow night, you will go to her. And you will remember why you and her are betrothed. Promise me, darling..."

The thought of seeing Fluttershy again filled me with anxiety, but I knew Rarity's words to be true. She and Fluttershy have long been best friends, so I knew she would never lie to me about her. With some hesitation, I nodded. "I will..."

"Thank you, darling... But as for now..." She then reached out and placed another kiss upon my lips before casting me an exhausted smile. "For now, it is just us. Let us enjoy this dream for as long as we can, my prince..."

We soon tucked ourselves under the covers while resting our heads and upper bodies upon the many pillows that had been provided. However, before we could do much of anything, we looked towards the door as we heard the doorknob wiggle. A familiar voice then spoke up from outside, "Locked? They must be in here."

It was Luna. I was tempted to call out to her, but then remembered our compromising position. Rarity and I did not say a word, hoping that perhaps she would go away. Our hopes were promptly dashed as I saw the knob coated by a blue magic aura as Luna seemed to use the levitation spell to manipulate the lock mechanism without a key. Whatever she did, it was clearly successful since the door then opened. But as soon as the Princess of the Night stepped into the room, she instantly gave us a wide-eyed stare while we both froze and looked on in silence. What a tense moment!

A good ten seconds must have passed before Luna began to silently back out of the room while her face remained frozen in that rather...uneasy expression. She knew what had been going on. I know I caught her casting a glance at my discarded clothes. I then heard the lock click once the door was closed followed by Nightmare Moon's voice while Rarity and I remained silent. "Well? Were they in there?"

Luna then replied, "Uh... Not quite. Just one of the royal guard and one of the maids partaking in some...intimate activates..."

Nightmare Moon's tone quickly changed to one that sounded somewhat repulsed. "Uh... That's more than I needed to know." Once we heard the sound of their hooves become more distant, Rarity and I burst into suppressed laughter.

I have no knowledge of how much time passed, but I cherished the time I spent with Rarity nonetheless. We constantly cuddled, shared tender kisses, and even partook in more gentle lovemaking. I missed her...and I wanted to bask in her presence for as long as I could.

Finally, I felt the world twitch. The time of awakening was near. And Rarity knew it too. She held me in her arms and whispered in my ear. "Darling... I promise I will come by as soon as I can. I just have a few more orders to finish up."

"That's fine... I'll be waiting." I replied quietly while tenderly stroking the back of her head.

A moment later, Rarity gazed at me with a tearful smile and spoke with a tender tone, "James... No matter what happens, remember this. I will always love you. No matter where life takes us, you will always be my treasure. My prince."

I do not know where the tears came from. Something in those words just caused the dam to burst. Tears flowing down my face, I held her tightly in my arms as a light sob burst from my lips. The last thing I heard as my vision became a bright blur was, "Goodbye, my love... I will see you again soon..."

The feel of my mattress returned as the sound of a heart monitor reached my ears. My eyes adjusted to the morning light peeking through the blinds to my right. I felt weak, but at the same time relaxed. That dream... I actually felt pretty good. Well... I at least felt better than I normally have felt these past several days after awakening. The memories that used to hound me upon awakening were still silent.

I was feeling rather awake and mentally energized for once, so I took the time to start writing this journal down early. I only took a break once breakfast arrived, which I ate without much hesitation. Although, at the same time... I was feeling a sense of emptiness that I was trying to ignore. Perhaps writing this journal was a means to cope with it or even just ignore it.

The last few days have been...well...better, at least. I still get visitors aside from my closest friends. Mitta and Lyra have stopped by, the Cutie Mark Crusaders were spending time with me during the weekend, and Button Mash comes by sometimes to play games with me. Derpy has even brought me a muffin or two. And I do appreciate their concern and care, but... There is only one thing I am truly aching for now. And I know I cannot have it.

Once breakfast was done, I gave the cart a push to move it closer to the door. But it was shortly after that when I heard a knock at the door. A few seconds later, it swung open to reveal who is almost always the first friend I see every day. Twilight Sparkle.

She was noticeably happier than I had seen her the last few days. Most other times, she always had a very small smile on her face with a rather melancholy look in her eyes. But today, she seemed to be in a good mood. She trotted right over to me and asked, "Good morning, James. How're you feeling today?"

"OK, I think. I dreamed well, if nothing else." I replied before reaching out and stretching.

"Dream, huh? Did you visit Pinkie Pie's dream again? I can't even imagine some of the zany places her mind takes her when she's asleep." Twilight replied while she unloaded her saddlebags nearby.

I shrugged my shoulders and said, "Not this time. I decided to visit Rarity last night instead."

This really caught Twilight's attention since she suddenly looked at me. "Really?! Well, what happened there? A beauty pageant?"

I could not help snickering at the memory. "Not even close. It was a coronation ceremony in Canterlot for the recently crowned Princess Rarity."

As expected, Twilight held a hoof to her lips while letting out a giggle. "Oh, yes. That's Rarity, all right. How'd she look? Did she have the kind of jewelry that Princess Celestia wears all the time?"

I took a moment to think back on that recent memory, letting out a sigh in the process. "Not quite, but similar. She was wearing silver jewelry and was also wearing a gorgeous light blue dress. She was a feast for the eyes."

Twilight merely smiled while she listened, but her expression seemed to darken a few seconds later. "She must've been happy to see and talk to you again... I know you're important to her."

"She was... I was glad to see and hear her too... I already miss her." I replied quietly while holding my head in my hand.

My friend stepped forward and lightly patted my arm with her hoof. "I'm sure she'll be stopping by again very soon to visit, James. She's been coming in every day to check on you, after all."

However, I felt a twinge of bitterness in my heart upon hearing those words. "Will I have to wear the blindfold?"

Twilight did not immediately reply. At first, that blindfold felt like a blessing since it allowed me to finally be near the friends I so sorely longed for. But now, I have grown to hate it. Merely feeling them and smelling them does not compare to the satisfaction of seeing and hearing them. Although Twilight did eventually mutter, "I'm sorry... I know how much you want to see and talk to them again... Just...hold out a little longer, OK? The doctors will let us know right away if they find out what's wrong with you. They've got to be getting close now."

"I know... I just... I wish there was a better way." I grumbled in return while just bowing my head. Almost as if on cue, there was a knock at the door. "Uh... Is that Rarity?"

"I'll check. Just a second." Twilight replied before she trotted over to the door. A second after she opened the door just a crack and peeked through it, Twilight looked my way and nodded. "It's Rarity. The blindfold is in the bottom drawer."

I let out a sigh that almost sounded like it was mixed with a growl. I truly did not want to have to wear it again. I pulled open the drawer at the bottom of the nightstand to my left and saw it. That band of black cloth. I wanted nothing to do with it, but understood that if Rarity or any of my other three friends were to get anywhere near me, I had to be blind.

I took the blindfold in my hands and stared down at it, feeling nothing but contempt for it. That band of cloth was both my shield and my shackles. With no other option, I chained myself to those shackles once more. I closed my eyes while the blindfold settled over my upper face. "OK... Let her in."

I heard the door creak open while I sat up in bed. I then heard Twilight say, "I know I probably don't need to say this, but don't make a sound. All right?"

I heard the sound of hooves drawing near. Not a trot, but a slow walk. I could vaguely make out a scent in the air. A lovely perfume. And soon, I felt a hoof rest upon my hand. I sighed while turning my head to my left to 'look' at my visitor. "Hi, Rarity... Did you sleep well?"

As usual, I got no reply. However, I did feel something tug on the blindfold. And I soon felt the blindfold being lifted just above my eyes while I kept them closed. The veil of black over my eyes became a shade of orange. And then... I felt an odd feeling upon my eyelids. Were those...her lips?

Twilight did not say a word. I am sure she was merely watching in silence. I suspect that Rarity may have told her about what she was doing about my blindfold before she could approach me. It was then that I understood what I was feeling. She was kissing me upon the eyes.

She wanted me to see her. Wanted to see me look at her again. The instant I understood what she was trying to tell me, I choked up. Once I shuddered and the tears started flowing, Rarity lowered my blindfold and threw her arms around me while I did the same. I was already missing the dream we shared...

Rarity, sadly, did not stay long. Probably no longer than fifteen or twenty minutes. Twilight forwarded to me Rarity's words, claiming that she had some fresh commissions to take care of. During her stay, I found that she had brought along a thermos filled with delicious orange tea sweetened with a spot of honey and a few matching teacups. I had a good feel of the distance between my hand and my mouth, for I had little difficulty drinking my tea. When Rarity did finally depart, she bid farewell with another soft kiss upon my lips.

"She's gone, James. You can take it off now." I heard Twilight say before I pulled my blindfold over my head again. I felt so disgusted with myself. She was right there in front of me and I hid behind a blindfold. I was even starting to wonder what Applejack and Fluttershy even look like. Would I end up forgetting their faces entirely if I did not see them again soon?

"James...?" I heard Twilight ask after a moment of silence. She approached me and stood by my side while I held that blindfold in my hands. "Are you...OK?"

I replied quietly with my voice speaking in a noticeable monotone I had not used for a few days. "I hate this thing..."

Twilight did not say anything. I did not even look at her. Although she soon reached out and held me in a tender embrace while holding her head to my chest. "I know... I hate it too... I wish you didn't have to wear that..."

The next several minutes were nothing but silence. I spent that time looking out the window to my right while tenderly stroking the petals on the flowers that Twilight had brought me. The ceiling fan made of clouds that Rainbow Dash brought in was still creating a gentle breeze. Although soon after Twilight started playing soft classical music on Pinkie Pie's phonograph, she came to my bedside again and sounded like she was rooting around in that cardboard box between the nightstand and the bed. Sure enough, that is exactly what she was doing.

Before I could even do or say anything, Twilight spoke up with a bit of a smile. "Huh... I completely forgot about these for the last few days. I guess I just got a bit complacent since things have gotten a bit better lately." She then looked at me while the earliest journal I wrote that she had not yet delivered to Celestia floated beside her. "May I take a look?"

"Sure." I said without feeling much need to hide anything. I know she was just trying to help.

Twilight smiled at me before she started flipping through the pages. It did not take long before she started offering commentary. "Uh... I guess you had a point. Why didn't I just use the teleportation spell to get us to the other side of the river the first time?" I could not help snickering at that line. But then again, I am sure Rarity would have much rather soared in the arms of an angel instead of just flashing from one side of the river to the other. At least I am sure that is how she would have worded it.

However, I soon heard Twilight mutter, "Another one...?"

"Another what?" I asked while I looked at her.

My friend seemed rather puzzled. She then turned the stack of papers around to show me the text I had written. "This is going to sound strange, but I keep finding some weird typos in your writing. Every now and then, you write doubles of letters where there should only be one. See?"

She was right. In one occasion where I wrote the word 'it', I ended up using one more I than there should have been. I had no memory of ever making that kind of typo and shrugged my shoulders. "I don't know how that even got there. Must've been a slip of the wrist."

"Yeah, it's not like you to make these kinds of typos. At least from what I've seen." Twilight said while she went back to reading. However, her eyes soon opened wide with interest. "Wow, you got to see the castle back before it crumbled away? I wish I could've seen that! There's so little of it left out there now..."

After that, Twilight put the pages back together and set them back in the box. It looked liked she had stopped halfway through. "Well, it looks like you had a good time that night... Hm?" She then used the levitation spell to lift what I had already written of today's journal entry out of the box. "This seems a bit short compared to the others."

"That one isn't done yet. I'll work on it later today." I replied while feeling slightly unsure on whether or not I wanted her to read that one.

"Oh, so it's today's entry. Well... Would it be OK if I read what you have so far?" Twilight asked while seeming rather excited to check it out.

After a moment of silently debating with myself, I nodded my head. "Sure. Go ahead."

"Thanks. I promise not to mention it to anypony unless you want me to... Oh, that's definitely Rarity's style. And that sounds like a lovely ensemble she was wearing." She replied with a smile while she read on.

Twilight fell silent for a short while, but I soon noticed her starting to blush. I merely looked on in silence, wondering what she was reading. She soon brought a hoof to her lips while she smiled as a few tears even began to stream down her cheeks. "Oh, James... This is beautiful... The way you two were feeding each other berries and fruit... I can't remember the last time I read something this romantic..."

I felt myself heating up and beginning to sweat heavily. "Uh... Thanks."

"If this is how you really are with a mare you love..." Twilight said softly while reading on. She seemed to glance at me momentarily before looking back at the page in front of her before letting out a sigh while she even seemed to swoon. "I think Rarity was right... You really are wonderful."

"Thanks..." I muttered quietly while not sure if I should feel flattered or embarrassed. But while I watched Twilight read, her rather dreamy expression started to become one of surprise. That blush only seemed to become bolder with every passing minute. And...was she sweating? "Twilight... Are you OK?"

"Uh... Well... Uh... Wow... This is..." She stuttered while not appearing to pay me much mind.

The tension in the air was becoming rather awkward. I then spoke up rather loudly, "Twilight... What part of that journal are you reading?"

Upon hearing that, she suddenly faced me and held the journal to her chest to hide the text while looking noticeably flustered. "Nothing! I wasn't reading anything!" However, she then asked while still blushing heavily, "But...uh... Now that I think about it... Would it be all right with you if I went home for just a little while? I...kind of need to take care of something...personal."

At first, I merely stared at her. But a few seconds later, I burst out laughing harder than I had laughed in weeks. All the while, Twilight shouted back, "It's not funny! Stop laughing at it!"

"It's hilarious! You read that part, didn't you?!" I replied between guffaws while holding myself up. My gut even started to hurt.

Twilight merely frowned embarrassingly while averting her eyes. She then set the journal back in the box. "OK, yes... I read some of it... But seriously, that was beautiful... The words, the passion... I think you should consider becoming a romance novelist. That was some of the most beautiful...and arousing writing I've seen recently."

I merely shook my head while suppressing another laugh. "I'll take your word for it. And sure, you can go deal with that little...problem of yours."

My rather excited friend grinned nervously while she backed away from me towards the door. "Thanks... I'll be back as soon as I can, all right?" Once she stopped speaking, I do not think she could have gotten out of that room fast enough.

I started adding to the journal to help pass the time, but I was eventually interrupted when someone else came into the room. "Morning, James! What's up? Feeling any better?"

It was Rainbow Dash. I felt myself smile a bit in her presence. Although I also noticed that the light in the room had dimmed somewhat, prompting me to reach over and turn on Rarity's lamp for some extra light. My brazen pegasus friend trotted over to me while apparently taking note of the lack of natural light. "Yeah, it's gonna be a bit gloomy for a couple of days. Have to get a lot of rain in to help the end of season harvests. Autumn's not that far off, you know."

"Yeah, I know... Can't stand autumn. Feels like the world is dying. At least winter has a magical feeling with all that snow." I replied while the thought of trees losing their leaves passed through my mind. I will never understand why Celestia sees autumn as her favorite season.

For some reason, my words prompted a rather relieved smile from my friend. "Man... I really missed the old you. It's great to have you back, you know?"

She was right. I was feeling more like myself lately. "Yeah... I guess I wasn't really feeling right for a while..."

Rainbow Dash then flapped up to the ceiling fan and gave it a light smack to make the fan's rotation speed up slightly. She then looked at me and asked, "So... Has Twilight been here today?"

"She was, but she...had to go home to take care of something. She'll probably be back soon." I replied while taking great care to not draw Rainbow's attention towards the journal that sat in the box next to me. If she read the contents of that incomplete journal, heaven knows what she would do.

Rainbow Dash did not seem too concerned. "Meh, probably some sorta assignment from Princess Celestia. That egghead's always got her nose in books."

"But what does that make those who write those books, huh?" I asked in return while taking some minor offense to that. I have done far more writing over the last year than reading. I even motioned towards the box filled with paper to emphasize my point.

Needless to say, Rainbow Dash looked utterly embarrassed. She took one look at that box before looking at me. She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came. She finally buried her face in my bed's sheet in an obvious sign of defeat.

A while later, I looked at the clock during a game of Weather Patrol. "Noon... Twilight's taking her time coming back."

"Yeah, you know how it is on Mondays. Everypony goes a bit stir crazy since there's not that much to do on Sundays and they just wanna get outta the house for a while. Oh, and... sky 3." Rainbow replied while looking down at her side of the board.

"Miss. Uh... cloud 6... Wait, is someone knocking?" I asked while making my move. We both fell silent for a moment to listen more closely. A few seconds later, there was another knock.

"I got it!" Rainbow said while she left my bedside to go to the door. She even took the time to open the blinds that hung over the window to the door's right. She then opened the door a crack to peek outside. "Oh, hey there, Applejack! Wanna see the big guy? And is that apple cake for him?"

Applejack... With a side of apple cake. Delicious. I certainly was in the mood for a visit from my favorite farm friend. Rainbow Dash then looked over at me and asked, "Is it OK if she comes in?"

"Yeah, send her in." I said with a smile. However, that smile soon faded when I saw Rainbow Dash point her hoof at me. "What?"

"Blindfold, man. You need to put it on." She replied with a bit of a frown. She could tell how much I had come to loathe this method, even if it is the only way to get anywhere near my friends. With a sigh, I pulled it back over my eyes without a word. It was then I heard Rainbow Dash say, "He's ready, AJ. Come in."

I heard the sound of hooves once again, signaling the approach of somepony I know. I sat up in bed and waited. And sure enough, I felt it. A hoof on my arm. I turned my head to my left, instinctively 'looking' in her direction. "Hey there, AJ..."

As usual, I did not hear a word being spoken to me. But I did feel her starting to hold me in an embrace. A very tight and strong embrace that felt like a vice. The scent in her mane... Apple and cinnamon with a hint of sweat and grime. It was indeed Applejack. I could not bring myself to say anything and held her too... I am sorry. That is all I can write about that encounter right now. It was just too depressing for me...

Applejack could not stay long. She had only stopped by to pay me a visit and to deliver a slice of amazing apple cake to me. The harvest season was still going, so she still had many apples to shake from the trees. But I did enjoy that cake... So good... Nopony makes apple products like Applejack does.

It was not much later that Twilight returned to my room while looking much more relaxed than when she left. "Hi, Rainbow Dash. Thanks for keeping James company while I was gone. Did anyone come to visit while I was gone?"

We had gone back to our game of Weather Patrol by that point. And while that slice of apple cake did make me feel good, my mood was still feeling rather low. Rainbow Dash looked her way and nodded. "Yeah, Applejack came and went a little while ago. What's up?"

"Well... I bumped into somepony on my way back over and...she wants to say hello." Twilight said with a more subdued smile. I knew what that smile meant. Someone dear to me, but I could not hear or see.

I was reaching the end of my tolerance of that blindfold. "Twilight... I really don't want to wear it this time."

"I know... But...you have to if you're going to get anywhere near her, James. And...I really don't want to turn her away. I think you know who it is..." Twilight replied with a long sigh.

I looked down at the black cloth at my side. I wanted nothing more than to hurl that thing across the room and be done with it. It brought such sweet relief at first, but now it was denying me a pleasure I had not experienced in what felt like an eternity ago. With great reluctance, I pulled it over my head until it rested over my eyes. "Fine..."

This time, Twilight and Rainbow Dash did not offer a greeting to my visitor. The pace of her hooves clopping against the floor was noticeably slower than those of Applejack and Rarity from earlier. And when I felt her hoof upon my hand, I placed my other over hers. That flowery fragrance coming from her mane... I knew who she was. "Hey there, honey..."

Once again, Fluttershy climbed upon my bed and rested atop me, holding me in her arms while placing tender sweet kisses upon my face. And it was only then, being held in her arms, that the doubts that still lingered not in my mind, but in my body, retreated. I could only believe she would not dare harm me only if she was there in my grasp while not feeling pain. But even moreso... The blackness over my eyes.

I opened my eyes to see her. That tender sweet pegasus mare that I had come to love so dearly. But I saw nothing. Nothing but blackness. All I had to do was lift the blindfold to reveal her to me. But I could not. The knowledge of what would happen the instant I saw her made me hesitant. But as I felt her tremble in my arms... Felt a warm tear trickle down my chest... My frustration skyrocketed. No more... "I can't keep doing this anymore..."

"Huh? What's wrong? What can't you keep doing anymore?" I heard Rainbow Dash ask from somewhere to my left.

I placed my hand on my beloved's back. I bowed my head while still blackness covered my vision. "I'm not going to keep going day to day like this... I'm tired of not hearing who I want to hear and not being able to see their faces... Their eyes... Their smiles... I want things to go back to how they used to be. How they...really used to be."

There was not a word spoken for a good fifteen seconds or so. They knew I was frustrated. And soon, Twilight spoke to me. "James... Are you sure about this? I mean...you know what happened the last time you..."

"I don't care, Twilight." I said with frustration pushing me on. "Please... I want you to do me a favor. Gather up the others and bring them here. I want to see them... I will hear them again. And if there is pain... If I just endure it long enough, maybe it'll stop and I'll be fine."

"James... You... You've got balls. You bet I'll go get the girls. Twilight? Fluttershy? You game?" I heard Rainbow Dash speak with what sounded like a tone of pride in her voice. Her compliance with my request filled me with a sense of relief. Soon... Very soon, I would truly have them back.

Fluttershy said nothing, although I did feel another kiss upon my lips before I felt her jump down from my bed. Twilight then said, "Well... All right... I hate to see you like this too, James. It's not fair for you to have to put a wall between you and your friends like that. I'll go get Pinkie Pie. Rainbow, you go find Applejack. Fluttershy, please go get Rarity. We'll all meet up in the lounge before we come back here."

The sound of hooves reached my ears before the sound of a door closing did. And once the room was silent aside from the sound of my heart monitor and the phonograph still playing some music, I removed my blindfold and found that I was alone. But not for long. I have been writing more of this journal to help pass the time before they return. It will not be much longer now.

Mere minutes after I stopped writing, I heard a knock at the door. I reflexively reached for my blindfold, intending to put it to use one final time. And then, the door opened before I saw Twilight Sparkle stick her head in. She was clearly showing signs of uncertainty as she asked, "James? Are you ready? We're all here."

I sighed before nodding and pulling the blindfold over my head once more. "Yeah... Bring them in. Let's get this over with."

The sound of many hooves reached my ears before the door closed shut. I was all too familiar with the pain I had experienced before. I knew what to expect. Once the room fell all but silent, the phonograph having fallen silent from exhausting the list of songs from the record that spun on it, I spoke up quietly. "Hey there..."

I heard the voice of Rainbow Dash. "So... Uh... How're we gonna do this?"

"Well... Twilight and Rainbow Dash... Please don't say anything. This has nothing to do with you." I replied while gathering my fortitude. I was not expecting this to be an easy process.

After a moment more of silence, I began to speak to the four mares who were standing in front of me. "Girls... I can't keep doing this. I don't want to settle for only interacting with you by touch anymore... I want to see you again. I want to hear your voices. I don't care if it hurts at first. I want things to go back to the way they used to be. Please... Just...say something. I don't care what. Just...please let me hear you."

A moment of silence passed. Perhaps they were uncertain or even fearful of taking that step. But finally, I heard a voice that I had recognized from many of my dreams these past few days. "Uh... Are you sure about this?"

The instant that sound reached my ears... The memories... Bitterness and hatred in that voice... My head throbbed as the memories resurfaced almost instantly. I cringed and held a hand to my brow as Twilight called out in reaction to my obvious discomfort, "Pinkie, no! Don't talk!"

I reached out with my hand to signal her to be silent. "No, Twi... It's... It's OK... Rarity... Are you there too?" The memories were flashing through my head, louder and more vivid than ever before. But I had to endure the pain for just a little bit longer. They were so close... I could almost reach out and hold them.

That beautiful elegant voice from just last night then reached my ears. "Yes, darling... I am here." And with those voices... The pain of rejection... Being pushed away in exchange for a boulder. The pain in my mind intensified, but I knew those memories to be false. My real friends were right in front of me.

"Good... Ugh... AJ... Talk to me..." I then said while the pain only grew with every new memory that floated to the surface.

"Are ya sure? I really don't wanna hurt ya, pardner..." I heard the voice of that dependable farm mare reach my ears, only to have that same voice echo in my mind with cruel lies. But it was too late to stop. Three down, one to go.

With all but one memory repeatedly cycling through my mind and the images of said images drifting along on the lids of my eyes with the sounds echoing in my ears, I called out to dear Fluttershy. "OK... Fluttershy..."

She was all too willing to let me hear her gentle meek voice. "I'm here... I missed you, dear..."

And with that, the most scarring memories surfaced. The malice, the desire to see me harmed, the pain of being struck in my head... I groaned as the memories of my four friends now once again exploded in my head with renewed vigor.

"James... I don't think this is a good idea..." I heard Twilight say from nearby. The rest of them did not say a word.

I waited for a brief moment, becoming reacquainted with the pain that had been with me for days. It was not new to me. "I'm OK... Now... Just...don't go anywhere."

I reached for my blindfold. The pain of seeing them was always worse than the pain that came from hearing them. If I could just endure it long enough, maybe the pain would stop. Squinting my eyes shut, I lifted the black cloth and dropped it to my side. And then...after a moment of mental preparation, I opened them. And there they were.

All six of them... The six most important people in my life were finally standing in a row in front of me. And the instant I saw them... My god, the pain... I cringed and did all I could to not yelp as my skull felt like it was on the verge of cracking open. My head throbbed, the memories played across my vision, but I could still see them. Vibrant. Real. And soon, gratefully smiling.

My heart monitor was beeping increasingly quickly. Even through the din that filled my ears, I could still make it out. But I did not give in to the pain. Not this time. They were with me once again. And it was then, even with pain radiating through my head, that I managed to smile.

However, seconds later, the heart monitor soon began to make a new type of noise just as I felt a strange tightness in my chest. The fast pace of beeping stopped and was replaced by a new sound. One long continuous droning beep.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qtsNvVTDFN0

My senses began to go haywire. I heard shouts and shrieks over the noise in my head as my vision began to become blurred. My friends were in a panic. I lost all control over myself as my limbs ceased to respond. I fell to my side as my body went numb while the noise in my ears faded. And then...nothing.

I am uncertain how much time passed before I awoke. And when I did, those memories were there to greet me like many times before. The pain... I wished I had not awaken. The sky was darkening outside the window... The day was nearly over.

"James..." I heard a voice say to my left. Upon turning my head to look, I saw Twilight looking back at me with a most fearful gaze. Her cheeks... It seemed as if they had been stained with tears. "Thank goodness you woke up..."

I felt so listless... Exhausted. The memories hounded me like never before. "Twilight... What went wrong? I didn't give in, so... What happened?"

She seemed hesitant to speak. Like there was something she did not want me to hear. But she spoke regardless. "The doctors rushed in just after you collapsed... You know they've been constantly monitoring your vital signs. While you were exposing your hearing and vision to your friends, your... Heart rate, adrenaline... Your stress levels in general started to skyrocket... In the end, your heart.... It just...stopped. Cardiac arrest. I thought for sure that was the end right there..."

"What does that mean...?" I asked quietly, my nerves and willpower in shambles. I had no will to really move.

With a sigh, Twilight spoke with such a monotone to her voice. "The doctors concluded that... Hearing your friends and seeing them... They're not only painful to you, James... They're toxic... They're not being allowed to see you anymore until the doctors find out what is wrong with you..."

Those words... It was then that I understood that as things were, my life would never go back to what it used to be. My friends were no longer just a source of pain. Their mere presence would prove fatal to me. I did not say a word. I had no will to speak. I just...rolled back over onto my side, facing the window.

"James...?" I heard her whisper from behind me.

Her voice no longer held any joy for me anymore. With what I desired being no longer possible... I...just did not care anymore. "Just go..."

"Wha... What?" I heard her say as her voice began to break. I said nothing and did not look her way. "James... Please... Please don't shut me out!"

I felt her hoof upon my shoulder while I rested on my side before she whispered while also sounding as if she was sobbing, "I won't give up... I'll find a way... Please, just... Don't push me away... I love you..."

The urge was strong to reach out to touch her. But...I felt so...empty. Somehow, I found the will to reach up to her. Nearly on the verge of just not bothering, I barely touched my fingertips to her hoof.

"Thank you... Please... Just hold on. I'll be back later..." I heard Twilight say before soon leaving the room. However, immediately after she stepped outside, I heard her speak up again. "Oh... Hello, doctor... Have you found anything yet?"

The door was open just a crack, allowing me to hear them clearly. The doctor spoke while sounding noticeably displeased. "Well... I'm sorry to say we've found nothing good, Miss Sparkle. His vital signs have begun to deteriorate once more. At a rather alarming rate, I must add. At the current rate of decay... I don't think he has more than a few days left."

"He... No... You're not serious, are you?! What's wrong with him?!" Twilight all but yelled at the doctor while I did not even bother to look. I merely rolled onto my back, my gaze directed at the ceiling.

The doctor continued to speak, but also sounded rather unhappy himself. "We've tried, Twilight. We have gone over every single possible diagnosis for his symptoms, and not one of them matches. And judging by the turn of events that have occurred... I would even go so far as to say that the various forms of entropy he has displayed are... It seems that he has simply lost his will to live..."

"Doctor... What are you saying...?" Twilight asked with a fearful tone in her voice.

I heard the doctor let out a sigh before he spoke his answer. "I'm sorry, Miss Sparkle. There is nothing more we can do for him..."

I felt...a strange sense of relief hearing those words. Soon, the pain would be gone. I would be free. But as I felt myself becoming increasingly resigned to my fate, a new sound reached my ears from just beyond the door. It was Twilight... She was crying.

"No... No... Not now... We never should've let him come along... We should've had him stay behind... If he never went out there with us... No... This isn't happening..." Her words were wracked with sobs. Finally, I heard her run down the hall and all became quiet before I heard the door fully shut.

I was torn. Some part of me wanted to care. But...I felt nothing. I was dying...and I welcomed it. But as I lied in bed...something drifted across my vision for only a few seconds before fading away. In capital levels, almost like a ghostly message written in bright red jagged letters. I still remember it vividly.

I WIN

Who wins? Who loses? Who even cares? I just want this all to end... As I lie here alone in the dark, all I hear is the heart monitor. Its beeps are slower than before, counting down to the final moments.

The memories... So loud and vivid... Just...please... Someone... Let me die...