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Chapter 10

April Fool's Day

          "April Fool! April Fool!"

          I giggled when I saw the seven year-old raccoon boy pop

around the corner, scaring either his brother or cousin into jumping like a

cat. They squealed and laughed while chasing each other across the street in

between carriages. Their muzzles lit up in smiles underneath the warm spring

sun, and me muzzle grinned as I embraced the wonder of today.

          It was April Fool's Day, a day of practical jokes and

teasing anyone and everyone in sight. It was a time to celebrate telling lies

and scaring little cubs outta their pants. I was a participant regularly in

this grand day, but seeing how half of New York knew me as a white liar

(somehow), I needed to be creative like a swindler in New Orleans. Or heck,

even me as me.

          When I was a mere cub around five, I pulled a mean joke on

Sister Susan that earned me a huge spanking. In the orphanage, all the younger male

cubs lived in one large room toppled with smelly bunk beds and the chattering

laughter of orphans. A wooden column as wide as a closet kept the room up, but

I was the first to know that it was hollow on the inside. After getting meself

hidden in it from a hole behind me bed, I waited until the nun starting

screaming that I popped out and cheered, "April Fool!"

          To this day, me bottom stings from the paddle. Still, I

can't stop laughing.

          "Attack!"

          I turned to catch a glimpse of a tail and wooden swords

sprinting into an alley between Howard's Shoe Shop and an old building home to

a young dog named Henry selling dusty clothes. With a wagging tail, me

curiosity got the best of me and I followed until I heard yipping and the sound

of wood clanking against wood.

          "Surrender!"

          A kit (maybe a young fox) yelped followed by laughter.

          "Nevva!"

          More clanking, and swishes in the air.

          "I'll gets yer tail dummy!"

          I came to a corner and grinned like a devil by what I saw.

          It was an open area connecting the alleys, about as big as

an apartment in the Upper East Side. And scurrying past and in front of me were

fursons cubs and urchins playing a game of war, with either trashcan bins or

wooden swords to fight over cobblestone.

          An eleven year-old raccoon jumped from a barrel that

overturned. "Take that Spence!" one of the urchins (who wore a pair of trousers

two sizes too big for his legs) swished his sword at a feline half me age.

          "'ello Peter!" I turned to see a familiar brown muzzle grin

at me. It was a young mixed fox who wore cut trousers and a dirty T-shirt.

"Whatcha doing here this fine April Fool's Day? Ya play jokes on someone yet?"

          If there be any other urchins in New York, then Harry was a

fine acquaintance for me. He grew up in an orphanage just like me, but ran for

it when the place burned down from a storm. No one died, but Harry was lost in

the storm and ended up in the Big Apple. Now, the little fox worked as a mail

carrier and I rarely got to see him, so this was a surprise that made me tail

wag.

          "Nah, I dunno if I'll be doing that this year, Harry," I

sighed with perked ears. "I hear yer life's been good too, foxy. So how's the

carrier business?" I dodged a cub running past me, and pointed for the ladder.

Nodding, me and Harry scurried up it and hung our footpaws over the war below

us.

          Next to me, I glanced to catch the fox rubbing his right

ankle, revealing the metal plate in it. I couldn't remember, but I once

recalled him saying he was born with a broken ankle. "Eh, it's been so tiring,"

he groaned. "Ya lose one letter and the boss takes a day's worth of pay, ya

know? He acts like he owns this

city."

          I chuckled and stretched me paws. "That's the reason I

don't have a job, Harry," I flicked me tail at him playfully. "Jobs get in the

way of the most important things in me life, like...um..." I folded me ears and

laughed nervously while thinking, "...being handsome and good-looking?"

          Harry raised an eyebrow and shortly laughed. "Yeah, and

they say the world is flat as Fine Fiona's chest," we both howled with laughter

at that. A couple of cubs below us cocked their heads in confusion, but

shrugged it away to continue with their little 'war'. The canine's side was led

by the little raccoon named Georgie (despite him being, well a raccoon) and the

feline's side was led by a tabby cat a few years older called 'Spottie'.

Spottie's leading was great, but Georgie's army was fast and swift. It made me

laugh whenever the scamp jumped and dodged Spottie's ferocity like me from Mrs.

Turner on a bad day.

          A cool wind blew over me muzzle and through me fur, and I

panted happily under the hot sun. It was April, yet the wind was still an ally

of January's blizzards. But as quick as a ship, me cap flew offa me ears and I

barely jumped to catch it.

          "Mother Nature must be playing her own joke today, huh?"

Harry laughed with perked ears. I mocked laughed and decided to fold me cap

into my pocket along with me pocket watch. Suddenly, his eyes widened and he

ducked onto the stone roof before whispering, "Quiet!"

          I raised an eyebrow and turned down toward the alley's

entrance before ducking meself. In all his cockiness and mean glory was the

dang Gavin, walking alongside a larger female coyote in a blue dress. It was

Mrs. Flint, a large and burley woman who waddled like a penguin and always

talked deep and loud like a drunken policeman in Hell's Kitchen.

          "Gavie, do me a favor and carry my purse," she spoke down

to him, and me and Harry inched forward on the roof to see Gavie's reaction.

          "But Ma, I don't wanna carry it." he whined with a

twitching tail like the little girl he was. She gave him a glare and pulled at

the coyote's little ears until Gavin yelped, "Okay, okay, okay!"

          I craned me neck to Harry and muffled our chuckles at how

much of a mean woman Mrs. Flint was. I remember hearing stories of how she was

apparently a beautiful creature that gained weight long ago and earned herself

a temper like her husband's.

          No wonder Gavin's a

bully like her, I thought bitterly with a low growl.

          "Aye, I don't like them either," Harry whispered to me

while the larger coyote talked to a vendor about prices. "That woman and her son. He once pulled one of me

friend's trousers down and shoved him into a mud puddle, ya know?"

          I turned to Harry once an idea popped into me head. "What

do ya say we give Gavin a good old-fashioned April Fool today?" I asked slyly.  That caused Harry's ears to perk and mirror me

grin.

          "You can do that for me, Peter," Harry looked up into the

sky and I saw him wince at the sunshine. "It's almost noon, so I gotta go." The

perky fox stood up and nodded to me as he climbed the ladder. "See ya, wolf.

Get him for me!"

          As Harry jumped onto the ground from the ladder and ran

down another alley, I stood from the roof and ignored the dying war game below me

as me footpaws walked along the rooftops to spy on the two coyotes. Gavin was

taking more shouting from his mother as he cringed with folded ears. I'd be

doing that too if I were in his position; her complains sounded like a yelping

animal if it's tail were burned by a candle.

          A few heads in the street even turned heads in disgust,

laughter, or both, and her son wasn't thrilled. "Gavin," she asked in a croak,

"are ya even listen to me sonny? Your father and I work our tails and fur off

for ya, and all ya do for us is get in trouble at school and talk back to your

own mother!" She pulled on the coyote's stringy and hairy ear again, and I

struggled not to howl with laughter at Gavin's reaction.

          The rooftops of New York City were sometimes known to be a

wonder in Five Points. While climbing buildings no bigger than several stories

was as dangerous as walking on a frozen Hudson, but the scenes of below always

made me wanna fly like a birdie. It felt like I was on top of the world.

          As I followed the two coyotes, I smiled at the wind blowing

in me face and the musky smells of different species across the land. From the

smells of below to the sooty smoke from chimneys, I just wanted to wrap meself

in its embrace.

          Stop!

You've got a job to do!

          They stopped in a bustling and musky marketplace, and as I

climbed down a nearby ladder to get a closer look, an idea popped into me head.

I noticed Mrs. Flint telling Gavin something, and they parted to look at other

things for a while.

          And one of the vending stands near Gavin was selling some

honey.

          Honey

on fur, I thought wickedly with a wagging

tail. The perfect revenge.

As

Gavin turned his tail to look more in the sea of stands and shops, I sneaked me

way under wooden tables and folded me ears to stay hidden. As soon as the 'yote

wasn't looking me way, I reached into me pocket and dropped a few coins onto

the vendor's table and snatched the biggest jar of honey me arms could carry.

"Honey!

Where are ya!? Get yer tail over here!" Mrs. Flint yelled down the street.

"There's a sale here!"

I

followed them for another block until the coyotes stopped to sit on a bench. I

praised the Lord it happened to be above a fire escape, and Mrs. Flint told

Gavie to stay put until she came back for a moment. Seeing me chance, I wagged

me tail while sneaking up a ladder in an alley nearby and scaling down the fire

escape until I was a good twenty feet above the 'yote.

Prepare to be honeyed, 'honey'! I announced in me head. But as I nearly poured it over

his head, I widened me eyes as I saw him below carrying a slingshot...pointing at

me.

There

was a clank, me vision became golden and sticky, and I fell from the iron

railing and onto the ground flat. With me back sore, jar of golden goo all

over, and that darn 'yote howling with laugher like a lunatic.

"April

Fool ya dumb wolf!"

Grumbling,

I slowly got up and tried to shake the honey dripping offa me ears, muzzle, and

clothes. I now smelled nice, but it was awful! Me heart was thumping against me

sticky chest, the echoes of laughter made me folded ears turn red, and me back

was more sore than a crushed rattlesnake.

"April

Fool! April Fool! April Fool!"

Grabbing

me mucky cap, I tried to pounce at the 'yote and hit him with his slingshot,

but instead bolted outta the alley and past other people, me eyes burning from

honey and something else.

"Get

outta here ya street mutt!" Gavin shouted. "Think twice before ya mess with me,

Peter Gray!" I glanced back to see a gasping Mrs. Flint, but didn't wanna see

her (sometimes humorous) expression that got me to laugh most times.

"Go

back into the sewer ya crawled outta!"

That

one came from a different coyote, probably an acquaintance or a rude one.

Either way, I didn't stop running like a horse and wanted to disappear in me

hideaway. But I knew that was impossible now, since someone in City Hall waved a bag of cash in front of the rich

gentlewolves in office and bought the place to be built into a factory. At

least I got me papa's pocket watch outta there.

Eventually,

I stopped in a nearby street, probably close to Park Avenue since the smell of

it filled me clogged nose of honey. When people stopped staring at me like I

had fleas (don't say it!), I fell on me bottom against an alley wall and slowly

watched other people walk by and streetcars roll by.

I

run me fingers along me fluffy cheekbones, now as hard as me life.

"Peter?!"

a voice gasped. I craned me neck up to see a familiar woman with bags (from the

smell maybe vegetables or powder; I couldn't smell with the dang honey hardened

all over me!) in her arms. But instead of a vixen, a lioness, or even a

she-wolf, it was a human woman with clear skin and a white apron and a grey

dress. "Are you alright there, Peter? You look awful."

I

got to me footpaws and slowly stood up from the dirty ground before wiping me

tail, realizing it fell in a puddle and picked up some dirt. "I-I'm alright,

Mrs. Lawton," I mumbled, not looking up at her. Having a human woman,

especially the mother of one of me friends, was embarrassing.

I

noticed her finger touching me cheek a moment and her rubbing the leftover

honey in her fingers. "Why in God's name do you have...," she gave a slight look

of repulsion with dirt clogged into me fur, "...honey? Peter why do you have

honey all over you, dear?"

I

lifted me muzzle and formed a cheeky grin. 

"Because I'm a sweetie for everyone," I mocked happily, sighing with a

flicking and gross tail. "I was trying to pull a joke on a...certain somebody...and

it backfired on me."

Mrs.

Lawton brought me over to her tenement home a couple of blocks down into Five

Points, and I had to consider meself lucky that James and little Annabelle were

out playing farther away outside, and not cooped up to see me like this.

Unfortunately,

Lance's idiot twin brothers were there to laugh at me as the kind Mrs. Lawton

escorted me inside as quickly as her straight legs could.

"Did

you get April Fooled Peter Gray?" they asked in cocky unison, their tails

arched like one of them were in a mirror. "We've gotta get Lance out here to

see this!" One of them turned to the windows and shouted, "Lance! Peter Gray

has honey covered all over him!"

I'm gonna turn 'em into Siamese twins! I thought bitterly.

Mrs.

Lawton closed the door and brought me upstairs to her family's rookery apartment,

which hadn't changed since the first time I entered it from the winter and so

many times before. The small kitchen had a smell that carried Mrs. Lawton's

broccoli soup, hints of pork and...honey.

Ten

minutes later, the kind human woman got a wet cloth and started doing her best

to get the honey offa me cheekfur and headfur, as well as me arms and neck. I

insisted that she didn't hafta, but Mrs. Lawton was persistent.

"Please,

ah!" a chunk of dried honey was pulled from me neck and took some fur souvenirs

with it. "Y-Ya know that y-you don't-watch it!" She pulled off another chunk

from me headfur.

"Good

Lord, what a waste of honey," the Mrs. mumbled while wiping me twitching ears

with the wet cloth. Her furless and clawless pands felt soft on me ears, and it

made me fur tingle for some reason. "Honey is expensive, you know."

I

couldn't help but raise an eyebrow. "I fell offa a two-story building and got

honey dripped all over me, and yer more concerned with the honey?" I asked

puzzled.

"Peter

darling," the human chuckled while pulling her braided hair back, "I think if

you could survive a blizzard, you can survive this..." She finished wiping me

ears and wiped me other cheek.

I

sighed and smiled. "Good point, ma'am."

Out of

nowhere, amid the noise of the city outside the thin walls and the steam

flowing through the pipes, she began chuckling. "Please Peter," James' mother

cleared her throat. "Call me Laura. You're making me sound old..."

My

tail started wagging for some reason. "But you don't look old, Laura..." I saw

a hint of a smile from her and my tail wagged against the dusty floor some

more.

Several

minutes later, Laura stopped and said with a sweat that she got everything she

could outta me fur, but me shirt and pants were still sappy and sticky with the

golden goo. Laura's stubbornness to be a good mother got under me skin, but I

let her ramble of what she could do.

Then,

the human clapped her hands like an inventor. "Here's an idea," she grinned,

tapping her heels at the wooden floor. "You can have a pair of James' clothes,

Peter."

I

raised me paws and shook them. "Oh no, there's no need to-"

"No

I insist," Laura placed her hands at her waist and went to a nearby bedroom.

"Your clothes are torn and filthy anyway; might as well get you some new ones,

darling."

Why does she keep calling me 'darling'? I wondered. And

I've only had them for...for... When was the

last time I wore different clothes?

Another

ten minutes went by, and Laura found me a grey pair of trousers with a black

button in front. She showed I to me and I folded me ears as I bluntly showed her

the backside and she cut a hole for me tail. Laura then dove into James' old

drawers like a pirate digging for gold and pulled out black suspenders, a brown

vest the perfect size, and a white undershirt that she says looks 'sharp' on

me.

The

Mrs. gave me James' empty room and closed the door so I could change in

private. For a while, as I smelled the cooking pot Laura was making from

nothing, and the soot and garbage that came from living in a building owned by

more families, I smiled down at the clothes laid out by Laura.

No one's ever treated me like this before...

When

I finished buttoning me pants, fastening me suspenders, and tucking in me

shirt, I looked in a nearby mirror and opened my mouth agape. Aside from the

few honey chunks under me fur and ears, I looked like an average boy that went

to school. If I did go to school.

I

walked out, and perked my ears at a strange sound in the room. Turning to me

right, I saw Laura standing by a countertop, humming to an object singing the

most wonderful music me ears have ever caught in New York. It was a genuine

music box, a toy the kids at the orphanage used to listen to everyday.

"Beethoven's

Fifth," I spoke up.

Laura

turned to me and carefully closed the lid of the blue and gold music box. "That

was my papa's favorite when I was a young girl," she said, turning to me with

her blue eyes widened at me appearance. As she knelt down and refastened me

collar, me tail flicked nervously for some reason, and me fur prickled like a

sub being embarrassed by his mother. "Oh Peter, you are such a handsome wolf..."

She finished fastening and stood up to straighten her dress. "I uh...hope you

don't mind, but I threw your clothes into the furnace."

I

gasped in horror. "Me pocket watch!" I ran over to the furnace and stopped when

Laura coughed loudly and I turned to see the human woman holding its chain by

her delicate fingers.

"April

Fool Peter."I

frowned and folded me ears in shame as I grabbed it back. "I'm starting to hate

this day..." I mumbled. Luckily, I had Easter Day tomorrow.