FSE

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I don't remember dreaming when I finally fell asleep again, only an unending black void. When I awoke it felt as if a bucket of freezing water was thrown on me; I bolted upright as a yelp escaped my throat. All of my aches were still with me, mental and physical ones I noticed as I now sat panting. I could feel sweat running through my fur. My body felt cold compared to my sweat soaked elk skin. I looked around the tent to see it empty thankfully, an orange light seeped through the entrance and sides of the tent; illuminating my sleeping area. I could hear the chuckles of the other men and a series of whistles from the birds. What kind I could not tell.

I don't know how long I stayed catching my breath. It was long enough for the laughing to get annoying. Slowly I allowed myself to rise to shaky legs and let the skin fall off of me, leaving me naked yet again. I lifted my arms above my head allowing them to pop and let my muscles stretch out. I do a series of stretches to get the blood flowing to my body, I reach down toward my feet which causes a moan to leave my lips and a pop from my joints.

Afterwards I look around to see if Haytham left anything for me on the chest that I grabbed his towel from. Nothing was there and I had nothing to put my mind towards so I finally convinced myself to go outside. Wait, their kind is more offended by nudity, such a funny thing. Everything is born with what appendage or lack of appendage makes their sex. These people get offended if too much fur is showing forget body parts. what a strange world I have entered.

I grab the skin yet again and wrap it around my marked fur and scarred body. As I'm making my way towards the exit of my abode I remember to cover my eyes this time, so I don't repeat what happened earlier. Yesterday? I raised my paw and squinted my eyes as I pulled the tents flaps aside. An almost blinding white light washed my eyelids before the shadow turned back to a dull black. Now that I'm not scared for my life....as much I start to look around at my surroundings, trees, trees, trees, dirt, OH! And look at that bushes! Based on that, how will I lead these people out of wherever we are? I know the spirits won't help me, Haytham can't and his men are probably already going to and in an easy word "dislike" working with a native. Here I am as naked as I was when I was born with no friends, family or clue of how I can have my revenge.

I started walking toward the voices of my future companions stepping lightly over the exposed roots of the trees, there was at least at least four distinct voices I could hear. They all sounded deep and monotone so they must be a bigger type of species, well, compared to me. I let my paws fall on the somewhat paved trail that was made by the reuse of them walking on it. I could barely hear myself moving, force of habit I guessed, or a loss of hearing.

The path led me to a small campfire that the men surrounded with their breakfast and disgusting tonic that brought back unwanted memories. Once I saw them I knew they could see me. All their talking died as they turned around to face me. One of them had a huge horn erupting from his gray nose, Two of them were covered in scales instead of fur and were almost my height, the last was a brown rat. I didn't really have much time to look at them before Someone behind me knocked me to the earth.

" 'Ello lads! Look wha I caught." The voice was now pinning my head to the ground and deviously chuckled to the others. I started to shake him off me before I felt his knife at my throat. "Easy pup, wouldn't want ta break tha merchandise."

"Get off of me you bastard!" I growled out, trying to sound like there wasn't a knife to my throat.

"The lion wasn't lyin." He chuckled at his own pun." He does speak Ostoken. I thought tha Cap was just sayin that ta keep 'im alive." The man started to straddle my back, still keeping the knife to my throat. "Say pup, 'ow is that you're out 'ere all alone? Did you fuck your mentor's daughter? No, no that's not it, no bitch would want a boy like you. You must'a run away with your tail between your legs for some otha reason. Care to explain?" I felt his breath against my hurt ear, breathing in and out of it as if he were drinking my scent.

"Care to explain why your grinding my back? Why not ask one of your buddies over there to help you with you 'little' problem." I felt a prodding on my back. If he doesn't kill me everything else will.

"Oh, you felt that huh? Well you're lying down now so why don't you 'elp me, after all you're already presenting your bare ass for me. " He chuckled as I now started squirming harder to get away from him. "Lad's get me the rope will ya, it will be easier not to hold him." I felt his free paw lift from my side and reach around to his waist.

Oh gods. I felt something stiff poke above my tail right before I could smell the cloud of unwashed musk, sweat and other things I wouldn't like to think of.

"Hold tight pup, you will not enjoy this." He grabbed my tail and pulled it up roughly, allowing free access to everything he needs.

"Jin! what in Leo's name are you doing!?" I felt the bastard names Leo's weight leave my back and his paw pull at my tail before I heard him crashing to the ground. Haytham was standing tall over my almost rapist with his claws extended, I smelt blood in the air. I quickly rolled over and jumped to my feet, a new burst of energy was running through my skin. I pointed my back away from everyone making sure no one could sneak up on me.

"Oh 'ello captain, It's a nice mornin' isn't it?" The mustelid quickly scrambled trying to situate himself. Haytham was striding toward him and staring holes into the wolverine, I was doing now doing the same.

"What the hell did I tell you! That is no way how you treat the one person who can get us home alive." Haytham roared and picked up Jin by his collar and held him a good inch from the ground.

"Your treating 'im like one of us? He's property nuttin more nuttin less." Jin gasped out in the lions grasp, his legs were kicking the air trying to connect with anything in reach. Haytham threw him to the ground with a solid thud and kick to the ribs. Once I closed the distance I pounced on Jin and started slamming my fist to his muzzle.

I felt my knuckles getting wet with blood and saliva, whose blood I didn't know I kept my gaze on the spots on where I would hit him. I felt and heard some crunches under my paw before I felt someone pull me from under my arms. I looked back and saw Haytham carrying me away from Jin. I ripped myself from haytham and stood up on my own, slowly the adrenaline started to leave me. I looked down at my paws and saw all of the different shades of red they were covered in, I looked back up and saw Jin. His muzzle was red and open and...I looked away before I could notice any more details.

I could feel wet trails leading down my face, and a burning sensation in my eyes. I started walking in the opposite direction.

"Fox, are you all rig..." I cut off Haytham

"I'm going for a walk don't follow me." I felt the wind blowing through my now uncovered body."Please." I added, after all he did just save me from. From. Where is the nearest pond?

Again I find myself not knowing where I'm going, I kept walking in one direction until I heard the rippling sound of water. I guess I do have luck. Even though in the past week I got two people killed one of which I loved, and almost been raped and killed, but I've survived it. I don't know why I'm crying now, Is it everything or is just from what happened. Hell I don't even know where I'm going.

That Bastard tried to rape me, if it wasn't for Haytham I may be dead I would have never submitted easily. Why couldn't Haytham let me keep beating him!? I let out a small growl which I could tell sounded more like a cry. Slowly I made my way closer to the rippling, the only thing I could trust now is my hearing, can I trust Haytham? He did just save me after all, but can I even trust myself? If I couldn't stop one man from trying to rape me how could I go after my clan.? After I help the 'others' I could ask people to help me. They wouldn't, I have nothing to offer, leaving them with only a way to die. Leaving me with a way to die.

There was a small stream that lead sideways to the camp. The water looked clean, far cleaner than me I still had dirt and soot from my curse on me. The water had a slight brown tinge to it but nothing to make it unusable.

I let out a sigh as I felt the cold water overlap my feet. They felt as if I've walked the open country, over of the sea and off the edge. Who knows maybe I'll be lucky enough for a bear to find me, he didn't last time. Might end all of my problems, or make them worse. I tilted my head down and watched my toes move in the water, I ignored my surroundings. I felt my tail droop from its aggressive position still slowly moving, my ears soon followed my tail. That's when my tail stopped moving. I walked over to a flat boulder that was just off the shore on my left. As I sat on it I felt my knees lower into the water. I let my paws fall behind me to support my weight. The water was cold, freezing even but I was to tired to shiver. My body was awake but I was emotionally drained after only being up not even an hour. Why couldn't I have just stayed tied up to the tree?

I felt a tear leave my eyes, followed by another, then another. This has been the first time I could mourn without too much worry. Why did Nakh have to find us, why did Arch have to be killed, why did I have to be banned, why, why, why? That's when sobs started to rack through my body. I laid on my back and scrunched up my eyes with my paws trying to stop the tears falling but failing. Here I am missing part of my ear, branded with a curse, and nothing left to lose.

I could feel my eyes drying up as they reddened.I tried to make myself breathe through my nose but that was another thing I failed at. I can't even breathe right. Quickly I rolled forward and felt my body be surrounded by the cold. Darkness and a dull splashing is what I knew down here. This was the only thing I could understand right now, a light and sound. It would be so easy to just let go and try and forget to what happened to Arch and forget on getting a revenge or at least closure.

No, I have to know. I can't promise myself revenge, or happiness. But I have to find out what happened to Arch and his Dad. I can't let anyone else get hurt when I can do something to stop it. This is what will keep me going, this is what will give me the will to keep moving. After that, I don't know. I still have this path to walk. I could feel my lungs burning for breath as I pushed myself to the surface and breathed in the crisp air.

"I see you found the stream on your own." A squeaky voice called out. My eyes followed my ears and I spotted the rat from earlier. A scrawny young man whose head was covered in dark brown fur that almost looked wet. The rest of him was covered by a series of coats and trousers of course

"Go away." I boomed as I pulled myself up back onto the rock and felt the water slide down my soaked fur.

" I brought you a towel and some clothes." He tried to sound cheery but I could see his posture tighten a bit, good he should be scared of me.

"Don't want it." I spoke and laid down on my back, closing my eyes.

"You will, that water is below freezing and you're out when it's cold enough to snow sooo." He trailed on gaining some of his composure.

I slowly moved my head toward him and sat up."So you're willing to help me now? How about when I was about to get killed?" I yelled out, my hackles would have raised if they weren't soaked.

"No wait it's I-I listen." He trailed on while slowly taking a step back as if my voice hit him.

I raised myself up and started walking toward him." I don't have to listen, you and the other assholes just stood still or went to get rope as that bastard was humping my back!" I pointed at him as he backed into a tree, I slowly gained ground on him as he stood there stuttering and shaking.

"Please listen." I cut the fool off.

"NO you listen! None of you deserve being treated fairly, I was supposed to lead you guys out of here. Not anymore I'm done with you!" I bellowed, my muzzle inches away from his turned one.

"I was the one who got Haytham!" He squeaked out through his shut eyes. I stared at him now wearing a dumb expression." While the other's did what they did I ran and got haytham." He opened his moist eyes." Do you seriously think I could stop them and their size over me! A rhino and a wolverine with a knife?" He whispered out trying to meet my gaze but looking away each time.

I backed off of him and looked at the ground. " These guys are trained killers, what do you think would have happened if I tried to stop them and not get Haytham? I would have been." He paused and took a deep breath to stop his shaking. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled at you."

I stood there wide eyed at the rat who was a head shorter than me. "I shouldn't have went off like I did. For that I apologise" I quietly and embarrassingly responded to rat who regained his formerly somewhat shy composure. He kept his head tilted up and wouldn't look at me. "What?"

"C-could you please wrap yourself with the towel?" He quickly let out as he extended the paw holding the plain white cloth.

"You people and your nudity. What, don't like what you see?" I joked as I wrapped it around my waist.

"N-n-no not at all quite the contrary it's just." His eyes went wide. He brought his paw to his muzzle. " I'll meet with you later at your tent." He quickly scurried off when he realized what he said.

Did he just?

No, that's impossible; the 'other kin' don't accept it. If anything they curse it more than the tribes. But, I made the choice. Did he? No one cared when Jin tried to do what he wanted to do with me. No, it's best not to think about it right now, it's only gotten people harmed.

I looked down at the stump where he left my clothes. I tentatively poked them with my foot, I'm not sure whether to see if it would move or to see if it would attack me. Ha, them and their clothes.

I stepped back to the stream and shook out my exposed fur, keeping the towel up in the process. My body was freezing and stiff, I had to quit the tough guy act and felt my body start to shake.I undid the clean towel wrapped around me and brought it to my head to dry it the one with my ears I dried first. I'm not sure how dry it could get me, it's almost as wet as I am.

Once I was more dry than wet I made my way to those dreaded neatly piled clothes. I picked them up and laid them out to see what I was given. They were simple as I thought; a yellowed white, thin shirt with these strewn ropes tying around the neck hole to tighten it, sorry I mean the collar. A dark green pair of pants, the same green as the leaves on the spruce trees surrounding me. And a pair of shorter pants? They are made up of a thinner material but they don't look like they should be worn alone or over something, they look revealing if anything. I think I'm supposed to wear them when it gets hot, but it's winter.

Undergarments! That's what they are....wait under? " Ha" I chucked no way. I'll please the rat and put on the shirt and pants, but not those wretched things. I went to put my head in the shirt and got it stuck in one of the holes. This is going to take a while, this is the first time I wore these types of rags before after all.

After countless attempts of getting the shirt on right and even more trying to get the pants on they finally decided to let me wear them, incorrectly yes, but they were on. I made no attempt to tie the rope around my collar and the front of my chest leaving a v of white fluff to burst through it. As for my pants, well, they're on. I walked to the pond again and looked at my reflection in the water. Looking back at me was a dashing arctic fox covered in fancy clothes, fancy to me anyway. My burned patterns could pass of as twigs in the water or shadows. I let out a small laugh, what would have become of me if my soul was placed into that of an "other's" kin. I looked into my eyes and saw the face that was hiding my emotions and who I really was, what's their saying? A wolf in sheep's clothing?

This was another question I shouldn't think about, my life has already been decided by the spirits. Was it too late to be to switch to another? I looked at myself one last time and memorized that stony look. I wore it all the way back to camp. I went a different way this time to avoid the fire, I don't want to remember what happened. I lifted my muzzle to smell around for Haytham, but his most recent scent is around an hour old. The nose of a hunter always comes in handy. He must have gone to check on his scouts, there must be some around, that's what the traders did anyway.

Without any idea of what to do I made my way, yet again back to my makeshift abode. As I got within seeing distance I could tell someone was in it as a shadow was dancing on the wall. I made my way to the entrance silently, digging my blunt claws into the dirt. I brought my hands up ready to strike the intruder. That's when I caught a whiff of him, just the rat. I brought my paws down and grinned deviously ,I'm still going to sneak up on him and see what he's doing here. His back was to me as he inspected around the tent, he just got here then. I inched my closer to him until I was only a few feet behind him and crossed my arms trying not to smirk.

"What are you doing here." I silently growled out. The poor guy almost jumped out of skin and fell to the ground. Afterwards he quickly dashed around.

"I-I'm sorry, I w-was looking for you and your weren't here." He squeaked out and stuttered out apologies.

" Why were you looking around the tent when you didn't see me in it?" I demanded more than asked.

He gulped and then took a deep breath. " I was just looking around. To see if. Why are you smiling like that?" Damn. I couldn't hold it. His face went straight and gave me the most dead response. " Dick." He stopped shaking and glared at me.

" Come on you can't blame me." I mock gasped.

" I can't, but you're still a Dick." He returned a small grin and folded his arms.

"Why'd you want to find me?" I asked now with a light hearted tone.

"I was actually wondering if you wanted to go for a walk, most of the others are out hunting so this would give me something to do and this would keep you from running away."

"Oh, thanks for being so uh blunt. And what thinks you could stop me from running away?" I started walking toward the exit with him trailing me.

" I'm the only one that can teach you about this new world. Well, the only nice person to tell you the goods not just the bads." He responded swiftly.

"What makes you think I want to know about this new hell?" I told him smugly as I turned toward him. Easy, I need to make a friend not an enemy.

"If you want to act like that I shouldn't bother." He said now, agitated. I stopped, but he walked past me and lifted the opening of the tent and left. I growled at myself, just what I didn't want.

"Wait!" I quickly jogged to him as he stops for me. Now he's the one I'm apologising to, how the tables turned. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have acted like that. If you're still interested I wouldn't mind going for that walk."

He tilted his head toward me and growled out."Not interested."

"I'm the one who plays the, what did you call me a Dick? Not you."I chuckled at him. He smiled back losing his expression. He just tricked me. He learns quick.

Then he did something that really surprised me, he spoke my tribe's language "I don't think I told you my name yet, I'm Lucas." Lucas turned around and looked up at me, extending a paw daintily. I took it and gave it a soft shake while my jaw dropped. He gave me a winning smirk.

"I'm..." I stopped, I felt my expression fall."Forgot to get a name." I chuckled dryly and dropped my paw. Luke's ears went back. "My apologies, that I uh killed the mood."

"It's fine. I've been through something similar." He had a distant look in his face before replacing it with an understanding one." I can't say things will get better. I can't even tell you that it will slowly feel better over time, but know that your destiny has already been made. It's up to you see how it ends." I looked away from his gaze as I felt that familiar longing feeling again.

"Sounds like what I told myself at the stream."

"Good, then you already know what to do. Keep moving." We were both silent for a moment." Come one, have to start moving some how. Who knows,maybe I can help you with a name while we're out."

" Ha, we'll see about that." We started on a path that lead to the stream. This time when I started to hear the water Lucas led me toward a short drop that was waist height. For him it was about chest high. I dropped down first and offered a paw to the rat. He took it and swiftly 'jumped' off the ledge.

"Where are we headed anyway? Are we just walking randomly?" I asked

" It's better than staying in a camp full of testosterone filled beasts." He mumbled softly.

"Um, what is that?" Did he just curse at them or...what?

"Hmm, oh Testosterone?" I nodded." Oh forgive me, I'm acting like this is your fluent language. Testosterone is a hormone that males make that helps cause muscle growth, affects mood, and is the reason why men are so, rowdy." I swear he was blushing at the last part, such an innocent guy.

"I'm just going to pretend that I understood half of what you just said. Do females make it?" Lucas snorted at that.

"Unless they have testicles, no. That's why women are shorter than males. Hey, maybe that could be your name. Test." He started a giggling like a pup, cute if I may add.

" I'll stick with fox." I answered not sure if he was serious or not.

" I would too. Anyway to answer your question yeah, we're just walking around." He looked at me and gave me quick smile before continuing on our journey.

We kept walking until we started to see the sun go down, enjoying not being surrounded by, in his words "testosterone filled beasts " before we started walking back.

"If you don't mind me asking, how did you ever meet up with this group? I mean, you're nothing like them." I asked him a little quieter than a talking voice.

"You know I don't really want to talk about it." He trailed off and rubbed his right arm with his paw.

"We are surrounded by trees and leaves, they can't hear you. You owe me, you saw me naked." I joked.

" And before that I saved your behind. Quite literally." He glanced at me. Wow, that shut me up. I was about to respond but he left me with an open muzzle. "They found me, well I found them a few months back in a tavern in Russet Valley. They were recruiting for anyway who had weapons or tracking experience." He looked down at the ground but kept pace with me." One night while I was, working they inevitably stopped by, like animals to a water hole." An easy chuckle left my throat at the unfamiliar phrase." They started to cause some trouble with the town drunks and quickly enough guns were drawn and arrows were notched. I guess you could fill in the details what came after." He bumped his shoulder with mine.

" After the building caught fire they left me and the girls without a job. I had some use to them, I know some languages that most of the tribes use around here such as yours, so they took me along. I guess they felt like they owed me something, after all, I was already born an animal no one can trust being a rat and all, no family, no life, now no way to survive." His voice started to crack and his whiskers started to tremble.

" So, they took me in. Now I help them communicate with the tribes. Along with other. Things." He brought his paws up to his eyes and wiped them dry.

"Why don't we sit down for a moment." I gripped his arm lightly and led him to a nearby tree root that rose from it's dirt grave and sat down.

Unsure of what to do I wrapped an arm around his side and patted his shoulder. I'm new to the whole, express your feelings thing. "What happened to the girls?" I asked him quietly, trying to get more information.

"Them? Oh they were fine, female whores are a like a necessity." He sniffled and wiped his nose.

"No, the girls not the horses. You didn't say anything about a horse." Did he say horses? He started giggling again and dropped his head to my shoulder resting it there.

"Not horses whores. They are the people of pleasure as some say. They satisfy their customers bodily lusts." He finally giggling to catch his breath.

"People pay for that? In my tribe. In tribes." I corrected myself." Males just ask for a woman to bend over. Yours get paid? Wow." This was an entire new topic for me.

"Yeah they do." He went silent after that and closed his eyes.

"Lucas, why were you working in a tavern with Whores?" I felt him stiffen up. "When you said you help these people with other things did you mean?" I felt him nod. I could feel my heart stop and my veins fill with ice. They use him! He does not deserve that." I'm so, so sorry. I promise you I will not let them touch you again." I brought my other arm around and hugged him tight.

" It's not a big deal." He mumbled, not sure if it was to me or himself.

"They use your body for their own needs!" I almost yelled out." I promise you, I promised myself that I won't let anyone else get hurt when I could help them. Please let me help you. I am the only one who can lead them back home, if they don't do what I say I can take you and leave them behind" I begged. This is the one person who I could call a friend. Haytham didn't do anything to stop this.

He was silent for a few moments before he hugged me back and rubbed his face in my neck. "Okay." I felt a wetness penetrate my neck fluff.

"Ha, I think I finally found a name for you." He sputtered out.

"Oh yeah what's that?"

"Amos, it means troubled." He chuckled wetly.

"I have more than enough troubles. Might as well be named after them right." If I wasn't tearing up before. I am now.

We got back from our walk as soon as the sun touched the ground, a good way to spend the day as long as I forget the morning. Walking and not knowing where you're going is better when you do it with someone else. This will most likely be last time I'll have peace for a long time. I still have to lead these people out of here, even though only one of them deserve my help.

"Thank you for walking with me." Lucas piped up as we saw our " home" .

" Thank you for the. Everything really." I felt my cheeks flush in the embarrassment of not being able to depend on myself.

There was a silence between us for a few steps. " And for keeping me safe from, them." His eyes stayed unmoving as he stared at the ground.

"I'll get hurt before I let you." I told him honestly.

"Why do you trust me so easily?" He asked quietly

" Excuse me?"

"Why are you believing me? Helping Me? Why do you believe that I got Haytham and he didn't come running by chance? Back home if anyone knew what was going on between two men. Multiple men." He corrected himself." We would be shut out, killed in most places. So why does a tribal fox who should be doing the same, help me? You haven't even looked at me funny." He raised his voice a bit, almost sounding angry. Now it's my turn to be silent.

I could hear the bugs starting to call out to the Moon, a few owls as well. I could feel my breath getting heavier. I call Lucas a friend, but can I trust him with knowing why I was exiled? I don't think he would care, but. Why can't I just say it?

"I'm sorry, you don't have to tell me why you trust me. I shouldn't even question it really. " Lucas had an apologetic tone. He rubbed his arm with a paw, a habit for both of us.

" It's fine, you shouldn't be trusting me with all of this." I paused thinking of what to say." I trust you because. Because, I am trying to hold onto anything that can be good in this world. I have had nothing but crows guiding me and watching over me." Lucas looked confused for a moment." They're what you would call bad luck, the crow tries to trick you and pretty much embodies everything evil really. Anyway, I trust you because I want so badly to believe that there is still good in my life. And I believe you can be that good." I exhaled loudly, feeling like a weight was off of my chest. Well, one of the many.

" Well, I'm happy to be that good then." Lucas gave me a pleasing smile that made me feel a warmth I haven't felt in a while. " Come on, let's bring you back and I'll see what the others caught for dinner. I'm starving, we didn't even eat lunch."

" I didn't even have breakfast." I corrected him

"Which I still apologize for." He scritched behind one of his lowered ears. I guess that's not just a canine thing.

" Don't apologize, it wasn't you."

" They won't give you an honest apology so I will at least." We finally reached the entrance to my tent. I sighed.

"Okay okay I give." I stayed quiet for a moment thinking of what to say." Thank you again for.... Everything. For being a. Friend." I gave him a smile. In return he surprised me by wrapping his arms around my neck and squeezing me tightly. I wrapped my arms around his chest. So this is what a true friend feels like. And just like that it ended as quick as it started.

"HEY RAT! GET YOUR SWEET ASS OVER HERE!" I could feel my face go back to the stony expression I memorized back at the pond.