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Ultimate Furry Crossover: An Adult Choose Your Own Adventure

Entry 42 Part 1

By Gideon Kalve Jarvis

Vote Tallies

*Superstation

Additional Vote: Do we recruit a Viper defector? Y/N – 5/2 (Ssssana – 4; Constable Hissy – 1)

[http://epictones.deviantart.com/art/Viper-Defector-560664509 and http://www.furaffinity.net/view/19307273/ and http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18085810/]

If so, please suggest a name.

How should we deal with our host of problems?

1) The bloodstained ballad of Doomguy (very little sax – lots of violins) – 8 – not even a contest

(70% chance of success, best of 3 rolls)

2) Comet, Krypto, Bolt, Ace, and Swift Wind come to save the day –

(First roll has a 35% chance of success, further rolls have a 75% starting chance of success, 3 successes or failures, total, determines the outcome)

3) The Horde and the Heroines fight on alone – 3

(40% chance of success, 3 successes or 4 failures)

Immediate Character Additions

SWATKats (T-Bone and Razor – http://swatkats.info/) – 5 – they will save the day

Sylvia (http://wanderoveryonder.wikia.com/wiki/Sylvia) – 4

*Desert City

-Additional Vote: Which of the following should become part of the active characters? (those with 3 or more votes stick around; the others will be removed from active play):

Berri (http://conker.wikia.com/wiki/Berri) – 4 - preserved

Caramel Rabbit (Caramel Rabbit (http://rule34.paheal.net/post/list/Cadbury\_Caramel\_Bunny/1 and https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cadbury\_Dairy\_Milk\_Caramel#Cadbury.27s\_Caramel\_Bunny) – 1

Foxy Asso (http://rule34.paheal.net/post/list/Foxy\_Asso/1) – 1

Goldie Pheasant (http://donbluth.wikia.com/wiki/Goldie) – 3 – preserved

Shirley the Loon (http://tinytoons.wikia.com/wiki/Shirley\_the\_Loon) – 4 – preserved

Immediate Party Additions:

Henry Wong (http://digimon.wikia.com/wiki/Henry\_Wong) – 4

Lopmon (http://digimon.wikia.com/wiki/Lopmon) – included with Terriermon

Rouge the Bat (http://archiesonic.wikia.com/wiki/Rouge\_the\_Bat) – 4

Terriermon (http://digimon.wikia.com/wiki/Terriermon) – 4

a) Shendu’s plan takes effect – 1

(an orgy; Sly Cooper, Mirage, and others will join, Rajah will be thawed out, 70% chance of success, 3 successes or 4 failures)

b) Fate of the slaves (a Villains scene) –

c) The final act of the Pokemon Trade – 3

(no change in characters involved at the breeding facility)

(65% chance, 3 successes or failures)

d) Carmelita Fox, Sly Cooper, Mirage, and others come to the rescue – 6 – back to breeding

(excludes those who show up from option a’s orgy, but they take part in the Pokemon Trade events instead, +10% to Pokemon Trade chances)

e) What’s going on at another casino? (votes will keep building until one reaches 10, then a separate scene will take place there)

-Fat Cat’s Casnio – a 20’s-style speakeasy – 1

(There are 50/50 odds that either Tanya and Fieval will be ravished, or Gadget, Foxglove, and Tammy will be. The one who isn't ravished, however, will escape.)

-The Last Stop – a devil of a good time – 5

-The Mouse Trap – a pub with the best card games in Casino City – 0

-The Percheron – all-horse review, actually a pretty safe spot – 0

-The Pyramid – what are our friends up to? – 0

-Treasure Island – pirate-themed, and pirate-attended – 0

*Castlevania

A) Alphys, Doggo, and Undyne get seduced (Dante gets girlhumped) – 1

B) Meeting Aeon Calcos, Castlevania and Jungle tour guide – 5 – the lizard appears

(65% chance of success, 3 successes or 4 failures)

C) Exploring the Jungles of Rage – 4

(40% chance of success, rolled once, each, for whatever characters are there)

D) The Zerg and the Xenomorphs –

(50% chance of success for the Queen of Blades, best of 3)

E) King Sombra arrives – 1

(a Villains scene; the fate of Princess Cadence and Shining Armor revealed, and Twilight Sparkle has a 50% chance of losing her virginity)

Immediate Party Additions

Eerie and Yossi (http://kainsword-kaijin.deviantart.com/journal/TELEMONSTER-Korean-Cartoon-586191668) – 0

Additional Requests/Votes

Characters (5 votes for new character additions):

*Character cleanup starts – ongoing

Adventures of T-Rex characters (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The\_Adventures\_of\_T-Rex) – 2

Aisha Clan-Clan (http://outlawstar.wikia.com/wiki/Aisha\_Clan-Clan) – 1

Bubsy the Bocat (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bubsy) – 3

Dr. Viper (http://villains.wikia.com/wiki/Dr.\_Viper) – 1

Duke, Captain N’s Dog – 1

Easter Bunny (male or female?) – 1

Eleanor Lamb (http://bioshock.wikia.com/wiki/Eleanor\_Lamb) – 1

Foxy Roxy (http://en.wikifur.com/wiki/Brutal:\_Paws\_of\_Fury) – 3

Fran (http://finalfantasy.wikia.com/wiki/Fran) – 1

Gordon Freeman (Half-Life, https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL6PNZBb6b9LvDWpI-5CPYUxG1Rnm-vr9V) – 1

Gordon Shumway (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ALF\_(TV\_series) – 2

Jazz Jackrabbit (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jazz\_Jackrabbit) – 4

Lady Bow (http://www.mariowiki.com/Lady\_Bow) – 1

Leroy (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The\_Catillac\_Cats#Leroy) – 1

Poison (http://streetfighter.wikia.com/wiki/Poison) – 2

Rajang (a monster encounter, http://monsterhunter.wikia.com/wiki/Rajang) – 1

The Rescuers (Bianca and Bernard) – 1

Sailor Animamates (http://sailormoon.wikia.com/wiki/Sailor\_Animamates) – 2

Subject Delta (http://bioshock.wikia.com/wiki/Subject\_Delta) – 1

Tank Girl and Booga (http://tankgirl.wikia.com/wiki/Tank\_Girl and http://tankgirl.wikia.com/wiki/Booga) – 4

Teemo (http://leagueoflegends.wikia.com/wiki/Teemo/Background) – 3

Toralei Stripe (http://monsterhigh.wikia.com/wiki/Toralei\_Stripe) – 2

Tracer (http://overwatch.wikia.com/wiki/Tracer) – 2

Zoo Crew (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Captain\_Carrot\_and\_His\_Amazing\_Zoo\_Crew!) – 3

Scenes (7 votes for most to happen):

The Next Villain Scene (10 votes to take place) – 1

Boss, the charr engineer, becomes a voyeur with Riva, the asari comm specialist – 6

Casino: Pleasure Island casino, a place for transformations – 6

Events at the Last Stop (since we delayed) – 4

Godzilla meets Superpuma (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JIRG8qELuXk) – 1

Kim Possible gets in touch with family & friends – 3

Marvel vs. Capcom teamup (Deadpool, Okami, and Dante) – 1

Chun Li/Judy Hopps (Nick Wilde also suggested) – 6

Vitani/Shenzi – 7 – in the Jungle

Vitani/Kiara – 7 – the mighty Jungle

Fluttershy/Toriel – 1

Characters on the Ship head to Castlevania – 1

Advance pregnancies (baby bumps all around) – in progress

Toriel/Asriel/Tails – 7 – a Ship scene

Sif/Wolf Link/Midna – 8 – wuffing to come

Brooklyn/Firebrand – 5

Matt the Anubian keeps Ron Stoppable as a pet – 7 – Ron’s getting a collar

Renamon reprograms her egg – 8 – this will take place

Draco/Saphira – 5

Khida/Thepa Elite Incest – 4

Wile E. Coyote sets up a sexual obstacle course/booby trap – 7 – he’s working on it

Zeke and those with him turn on Ninetails – 3

Characters from the ship head to Castlevania – 4

Mewtwo turns someone into a body puppet – 3

Renamon/Rika Nonaka – 1

Author Notes

What a strange feeling, shifting into ultraviolence mode, after focusing on so much sex. Not a bad thing, mind you, just a strange thing, since my mind doesn’t typically associate sex and violence, keeping them in separate compartments. Having the portal to Hell open was such a relief, actually, when I realized that I’ve been looking for a way to introduce the Disgaea characters for forever, and here came an opportunity, dropped right in my lap.

…If you, like me, are thinking of Etna and/or Flonne and/or Laharl dropped in your lap right now, um…well…

Oh, hey, a distraction!

http://ajinryu.deviantart.com/art/Derpy-Master-Seductress-352343431 - There are some characters to whom I simply am unable to do anything bad, ever. Bubbles/Ditzy Doo/Derpy Hooves is one of them.

http://andrewdickman.deviantart.com/art/By-My-Command-172662651 - Shantae

http://andrewdickman.deviantart.com/art/Shantae-Doodle-186759069

http://andrewdickman.deviantart.com/art/Shantae-163529654 - I am now open to accepting any votes for Shantae, having finally worked through the games.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YTCZMDcwEZc - COW Boys of Moo Mesa series playlist, in case anybody wanted to know about these fellahs. I thought the show was a little too kid-oriented for me to enjoy it now, but I freely admit the main characters are pretty hot.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-ecojEpm40 – Doom cartoon, silly but accurate

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxyPzqEuBDE – sexy Doom (the first mod, the rest...not so much). The view of that first mod…yeah, I blame Youtube for everything that happens next, and I have no regrets.

One thing I’ve found interesting: nobody’s asked me to do any Rule 34 additions from Rick Griffin’s Housepets webcomic. Probably not a bad thing, considering what might happen to some of the characters…no, on second thought, I couldn’t do nonconsensual stuff to pretty much the entire cast of Housepets. Though consensual stuff I could totally see happening.

Incidentally, Doomguy does, in fact, have a history with rabbits: http://doom.wikia.com/wiki/Daisy - cabbits aren’t that far off.

UFC Entry 42

[All enemies to come are taken from the following sources:

http://www.doomwadstation.net/bestiary/

http://dantesinferno.wikia.com/wiki/Creatures\_of\_Inferno

http://godofwar.wikia.com/wiki/Category:Monsters

http://megamitensei.wikia.com/wiki/List\_of\_Shin\_Megami\_Tensei\_Demons

http://doom.wikia.com/wiki/Category:Hexen\_monsters]

“Have you ever had one of those days where nothing seems to go right?” Ridley commented to one of the insectlike space pirates not far from him as he stood on the bridge – perched, really, considering his typical hunched stature – while overlooking the banks of controls presented before both him and the bridge crew.

“But sir,” the white-carapaced space pirate, not possessing nearly enough of a sense of self-preservation as was properly healthy, responded, “didn’t Catgirl present you with two human slaves before she departed with the Puma Sisters? Two extremely comely human slaves, as I recall, with bodies at least as attractive as the Hunter’s out of her deathsuit.”

“But I have to wait while the hormone feed starts them ovulating again!” screeched Ridley in a high fury, neatly popping the head from the white Zebesian with a single casual swipe of one massive talon. “Curse these enhanced bioweapons projects and their use of birth control!”

The space dragon cast one doleful eye toward the video feed from the chamber where his two newest slavegirls were being kept, a chamber he’d originally had designed for use on Samus Aran, but which made it perfect for restraining just about any superhuman female who might fall into his clutches. Naturally, Ridley didn’t take most of his harem with him when he was on a mission, and right then, he was badly pent up…something that had taken all of two hours. His condition worsened as he eyed the two prisoners up and down, positioned as they were on all-fours, held firmly in place by a series of unbreakable clamps around strategic locations on arms, legs, and waist. Nova Terra’s pink bottom and Widowmaker’s blue one, both astonishingly similar to Samus Aran’s flawless, toned, heart-shaped buns, were thrust upward, the dimples of Venus clearly visible as they struggled against their bonds, though all in vain. Behind them, thick, phallic probes were slowly pistoning almost straight up and down into their rectums and vaginas, the shafts of the probes glistening with copious aphrodisiac-laced lubricant. Other wires led to suction cups attached to each girl’s body at various strategic locations, each not only providing a constant stream of data on the status of each female, but also providing regular doses of pleasure energy, ensuring they didn’t have the inclination to even think of attempting an escape.

The probes themselves were delivering a steady feed of potent hormones into each girl, reversing the effects of extensive alterations, which had succeeded in helping to grant the women incredible physical and mental abilities (more physical for Widowmaker, and more mental for Nova), but had also deactivated their ability to become pregnant. His lip curling slightly as he checked the readouts of their statuses, Ridley nodded in satisfaction: a complete success! Soon, he’d have both these beauties swollen to the brim with his eggs! Hmm, and considering how powerful they both were, perhaps he’d let them keep their training, rather than simply letting that clever coyote or that cunning Pokémon mind master burn out their brains to make them near-mindless pleasure slaves. After some appropriate brainwashing, they’d be perfect for helping him capture that pesky bounty hunter the Zebesians superstitiously called “the Hunter.” What the purple space dragon wanted, more than anything else, was Samus Aran as his broken, obedient slave, meekly serving him on her knees, her belly gravid with a massive clutch of his eggs. The promise of her eventual servitude, with the assistance of the forces Maleficent could call to bear, was all that really kept Ridley in line. Well, that and the money, of course. And Maleficent’s glowing green pussy – for a millennia-old faerie queen, that dragon-bitch was tight!

Rrr! But if it wasn’t one thing, it was another! There was Clockwerk, interrupting him again! And just when he’d been about to go enjoy the spoils of someone else’s victory, too!

“What is it?!” he snapped into the communicator, almost breaking the panel with his harder-than-steel claws.

“There’s a problem,” came the deep, vaguely-menacing voice of the Director, from the heart of the Superstation. “It appears someone has released Him.”

Blinking, Ridley looked at one of his underlings, who immediately held up a datapad with the requisite information. One of the reasons Ridley had such a short attention span was because his mind worked at phenomenal speeds, and within seconds, he’d read and assimilated everything in the datafile.

“‘Doomguy,’ right?” Ridley responded, rolling his glowing yellow eyes. “What a stupid name. Look, I can appreciate that you might be having problems handling a single human being, but what’s all that to me?”

“The chimera in his vicinity are dropping in numbers drastically,” answered the Director almost immediately, his voice smooth and unruffled, even in the face of Ridley’s potential and mercurial fury. “Apparently he’s gotten access to one of the main armories. We think that whoever released him from lockup also gave him one of the access keycards.”

“You still use keycards around here?” Ridley asked incredulously. “Let me guess: they’re all color-coded, right? To make it easier for the dolts you have running this place.” Baring his teeth with a soft growl of impatience, doing his level best to keep his ridged purple penis in its slit from his building impatience to go and properly breed his newest harem slaves, Ridley glared at the shadowy figure of the Director. “So he grabs a few guns, goes on a rampage, runs out of ammo, and the chimera nail him. More bodycount than I’d guess you were expecting, but the job’s done all the same. Again, what’s that got to do with me?”

“You don’t understand,” the Director continued, slowing his voice, as though he were talking to an especially slow child. “Doomguy emptied the armory.”

There was a beat as the words sunk in.

“Wait,” Ridley said, blinking. “Emptied? As in, took everything in there?” He turned his head as another underling held up another datapad, this one with the entire contents of the armory in question. Or, rather, former contents, for they were all indeed now listed as deployed. “But…he’s just one human. How…?”

While Ridley was still shaking his head, confusion written on his face as he tried to grasp a physical impossibility, the Director plowed ahead, recognizing that now was the perfect opportunity to get Ridley’s assistance. When Ridley felt uncertain or insecure was the best time to give him an opportunity to smash things, especially if those “things” were part of his problem (though any “thing” would do in a pinch for the purple-scaled psychopath).

“We need you to deploy your forces to delay Doomguy for as long as possible,” the Director pressed forward. “His progress is easy enough to track: we just follow the line of deactivated life sensors in the chimera.” A readout appeared on one of the many screens in Ridley’s frigate-sized flagship, showing the path Doomguy was taking – sure enough, he was headed toward the very center of the Superstation. “Clockwerk thinks the dimensional technology Hordak was using could be repurposed to call in allies from…somewhere else.”

“Somewhere else?”

“He wasn’t very specific,” the Director admitted. “The systems tweak shouldn’t take more than ten or fifteen minutes, however.”

“At the rate this ‘Doomguy’ is tearing through my chimera, you may not have that long,” snarled Ridley as his fury built to a full froth. “Now shut up and let me work!”

Snapping the connection (by quite literally snapping the communication panel in half), Ridley spun toward an underling. Forgetting about his bladed tail, however, he glanced down at the remains of said underling, then turned, this time more carefully, to another underling instead.

“Deploy the drak,” he growled at the Zebesian. “They’re always whining about how they want to die for the glory of their fallen empire, or some nonsense like that. This will give them the perfect opportunity. It should also buy me enough time to get the yahg into gear.” Ridley looked upward and quietly growled out a curse at Crystal Space Dragon Jesus, with whose benevolent teachings he’d parted ways long ago, preferring more direct routes to getting others to do what he wanted rather than “do good to them that persecute you.” “The vorcha, too. They’re all Bloodpack wannabes anyway, and it shouldn’t be too hard to make ‘em the promise of membership if they prove themselves in glorious combat.”

“What about the Batarians?” asked the underling, respectfully (and wisely) cowering before the leader of the space pirates, a posture that made it far easier to duck in case Ridley swung that tail again. “And the other Zebesians?”

“We need somebody to make sure the ship is safe,” Ridley scoffed. “Besides, we’ve got those two techheads Clockwerk requested in the deep freeze. Thaw ‘em out, and send ‘em straight to the Director. That should make him feel like we’re accomplishing something,” he sneered unpleasantly, “and get those stupid Metallikats out of my way at the same time. I hate how that stupid Mac Mange can’t pilot a starship worth flark, but won’t stop asking anyway.”

[http://swatkats.wikia.com/wiki/The\_Metallikats]

“Hence why you put them both in cold storage,” the Zebesian noted. “I’ll get right on it, great lord Ridley.”

The Zebesian departed quickly, which as it turned out shortly afterward was quite fortunate for it (“it” being the proper term, as space pirates generally reproduced by mass cloning, and only their highest-caste clones had working genitalia, though even these were usually only in place for recreational purposes, so gender wasn’t really something that properly applied to a Zebesian space pirate). Only a matter of minutes after the Zebesian departed to carry out Ridley’s orders, another ship appeared on the event horizon of the Superstation, and Ridley glared at the viewscreens displaying the incoming ship with pure venom in his searing yellow eyes.

“What,” he said, his voice low and sickly-sweet, “is that?”

The space pirate on sensor duty turned his yellow compound eyes toward the viewscreen Ridley was indicating with a single claw. Like the rest of the bridge crew, this space pirate had been paying far too much attention to the sudden demands of troop deployment and getting the vipers to turn the chimera so they were focusing on Doomguy, and so had completely missed the approach of the approaching lone spacecraft until it was much too close to be destroyed without potentially damaging the Superstation as well.

“Um,” the hapless Zebesian stammered, looking up to immediately see a problem neither he nor any of the bridge crew had prevented in time, juxtaposed against Ridley’s brightly glowing yellow eyes. “A spaceship?”

“And not one of ours,” Ridley confirmed.

A few minutes later, Ridley stepped off the bridge, tapping the call button for the cleaning bots. He was already on his way to the onboard cloning tanks, to boil up another batch of space pirates.

-

Sssana had always had a flair for theatricality. Which was rather odd, considering that she’d been force-grown from egghood by the alien empire that had intended to use her as an instrument of conquest. Few vipers had more personality than they’d been programmed to have, at least initially, though most of them had developed some quirks over time. Sssana, however, had more than a few quirks: she actually thought for herself. Because neither other vipers nor chimera did so, whenever she wanted them to do something, as often as not, she got just what she wanted.

Right then, Sssana wanted to savor the moment. The vicious, sweaty gang-rape that would follow in the all-too-near future would be fun enough, certainly, but Sssana felt somehow that there should be a little more to sex than mindless boinking. She wanted…foreplay.

“Such a lovely young beauty,” cooed Sssana as the vipers all around her kept the chimera at bay, all of them forming a tight circle around the prisoners. “You’re a rare prize, and to think of so many exquisite catches like yourselves, all in one place!” She smiled, leaning in close to Supergirl as the muscular blonde glared up at her in continued defiance. “We should let this moment linger, I think,” she continued, deftly stroking her claws down Supergirl’s shirt, shredding it, laying bare her exquisite breasts, each a plump mouthful for a viper or a chimera. “After all, there’s no need to rush: none of you are going anywhere.”

Eventually, despite all their efforts at resistance, the onrushing horde of chimera had proven too much, and even with the aid of the former Horde soldiers, when the vipers slipped up from behind, it had only been a matter of time before they were all overwhelmed. Now, the only ones who had any clothes left was Supergirl – a state Sssana was soon remedying as she was already shimmying the Kryptonian teen’s skirt and panties down over her hips – Shadow Weaver, who was allowed to continue wearing her cowl, though the rest of her shapely green-skinned body was left utterly exposed, and the Sorceress, who had been left with her feathered cape and headdress. Oh, Wonder Woman and She-Ra had also been left their crowns, of course, and the Sailor Scouts had been allowed to keep the jewelry that was a part of their hairstyles, but that hardly counted as clothing.

“A pity our masters want the royalty for themselves,” Sssana commented, casually tossing Supergirl’s red skirt aside, before lowering herself so that she was face-to-face with the still-defiant blonde teen. “But that’s not so bad,” she added, casting a glance at Wonder Woman, She-Ra, and Sailor Moon, before turning her attention back to Supergirl. “After all, you’re quite fine all by yourself.”

Sssana leaned in, and surprised Supergirl not with some act of savagery, like a bite from those aphrodisiac-envemoned fangs, but with a kiss. And not just any sort of kiss, either, but one that was slow, even gentle. Expecting to have her mouth violated, Kara didn’t have any defenses against Sssana’s sweet, gentle oral exploration. All it took was a light nudge of a forked tongue, and the Kryptonian girl’s lips parted, and before long she was moaning softly as those skilled, gentle, scaled hands caressed her back and breasts and belly.

Looking down at the others kneeling nearby, the vipers could feel the impatience of the chimera to get started. They were creatures created with the purpose of making more of their kind when they could, and killing when they couldn’t, and right now they had perfect specimens for breeding purposes. More than perfect, for metahumans were incredibly able breeders. Actually, the vipers themselves were more than a little impatient as well, for while the chimera were lusting after the women allowed to them, Sailors Mercury, Mars, Jupiter, and Venus, the Sorceress and her daughter, Teela, Star Girl, and the Horde women, Catra, Scorpia, and Shadow Weaver, the vipers were similarly lusting after the Horde men. Trap Jaw with his partially-metal, piston-powered penis; Spikor with his barbed organ; Grizzlor, with his astonishingly thick cock thrusting out from his shaggy pubic fur; Modulok, with an assortment of penises to choose from that the vipers had discovered in one of his many gadget satchels; and, of course, Saurod and Kobra Khan, whose reptilian nature deeply interested all the vipers, and ensured that the two cold-blooded males would be gang-raped by hot-blooded snakewomen until they couldn’t even move.

“Just a little longer, sisters,” Sssana pleaded softly as she nibbled her way down Supergirl’s neck, running her long, forked tongue across swiftly-heating skin. “Please…just a little bit…”

[70% chance, best of 3, rolled 13 – success #1!]

Whatever Sssana had been about to say, the other vipers never heard it, as the chimera suddenly started, a bright red light shining from each of their battle harnesses with a sharp, loud beep. While the vipers might be needed to maintain fine control of the bestial chimera, keeping them from killing when prisoners were wanted instead, they weren’t needed at all to bring them to bear on a foe for whom no such restraint was needed. The red light, which was obviously not from their native technology, was a space pirate addition, a “killswitch” designed to set the chimera on a rampage against a specific foe, marked with invisible pheromone projectors. Apparently, some brave (and now-deceased) soul had managed to tag Doomguy with these pheromones, and now the chimera were alerted to the need for total, mindless bloodshed.

As one, the chimera turned and swarmed down the corridor, eager to fling themselves into the fray against their enemy!

Suddenly alone, the vipers turned to look at each other, confused. Still, they had their prisoners, and they weren’t in any immediate danger, so they weren’t alarmed. This simply meant that they’d have to cut some of their fun a little short, so as to move the prisoners back to the space pirates’ ship, or perhaps the central core of the Superstation, whichever their supervisors preferred. But that didn’t mean they couldn’t have some fun…mmm, that thick scaly cock on Kobra Khan was looking quite attractive right then.

All such lustful thoughts, however, were cut off as the door to Swift Wind’s well-shielded chamber suddenly burst outward, knocking many of the vipers aside like bowling pins. The others turned in shock, their eyes wide as they saw the mighty, muscled Krypto, the Superdog, and the unbeatable Comet, Superhorse, both standing proudly in the doorway, hands on hips as they glared down at the evildoers before them.

Both white-furred males, incidentally, were also sporting super-erections.

“Surrender peacefully, villains!” declared Krypto, far more prone to heroic speeches than any of his companions. “Evil bears only bitter fruit!”

Sparing a moment to heave a long, collective sigh – Comet and Krypto were hot! – the vipers hesitated only a little longer, and then surged forward in a body, hands outstretched, fangs bared. With the control collars, many of which already graced the necks of each of their prisoners, the vipers might actually have gotten lucky against the heroic duo, for all it would have taken was a single click of a collar lock around one of those well-muscled necks to take most of the fight out of the superheroes. But Krypto and Comet weren’t alone, as soon became obvious when Ace stepped out, his hands moving like lightning as he flung batarangs in rapid succession, knocking control collars from the hands of those who dared to lift them. Bolt shot forward an instant later, fists flying at lightning speed, sending vipers tumbling this way and that, a barrage that was soon joined by both Comet and Krypto, and, a moment later, by the winged form of Swift Wind himself. With his nearly impervious wings baffling against them, the vipers soon found they couldn’t stand, and in mere minutes after the fight started…it was over.

“We surrender,” declared one of the vipers, raising her hands over her hooded head as she slithered forward. She whimpered softly, looking up piteously as Ace deftly snapped one of his many pairs of powercuffs over her wrists, then moved to the next viper, all of the sinuous women soon packed into Swift Wind’s well-appointed personal quarters. They wouldn’t be in any danger of starving in there…or lacking entertainment, either, both of the regular sort (for Swift Wind had been provided with an extensive entertainment system as part of his deal with the forces of darkness), and the more erotic sort, in the form of a wide variety of sex toys.

The only viper who wasn’t locked in the makeshift cell, in fact, was Sssana. Through the entire fight, she and Supergirl had continued to make out, seemingly oblivious to events around them. As the short battle ended, Krypto started toward the last remaining viper, but paused, confused and uncertain what to do next as he saw what she was doing, before his face flushed deeply as he figured out what was going on.

“Oh,” he murmured suddenly, turning away as he pinched his nose with his fingers, to staunch the trickle of blood that had started flowing. “Sorry.”

Comet, on the other hand, stepped over, and casually watched with a smirk on his face. Seeing his girl, Kara, making new friends made him happy. Very happy indeed.

-

Walking along the corridor where Doomguy had passed, Skeletor paid little heed to the numerous splashes of various shades of liquid life splattered across walls and floor and ceiling. Those were hardly his concern, as they were simply the visible signs of a professional hard at work, and doing a very good job at it, too.

“Evil-Lyn,” Skeletor called casually over his shoulder. “Was that distress signal we activated answered?”

“Yes, Skeletor,” the mistress of magic answered almost immediately, studiously keeping her eyes glued to the datapad in her hands, for she was somewhat more squeamish than Skeletor (something she’d never known about herself before the moment when she encountered what Doomguy could do when fully unleashed). “It appears…ah, here we are. It’s a lombax ship, very ancient in design, like most original lombax technology, but with some significant modifications. It’s registered to...let’s see…someone named Ratchet, no last name. Wait, there’s a co-signer as well, granting the owner special diplomatic privileges, including the right to go to all but the most high-security areas. The co-signer is someone named Callie Briggs.”

“Ah, excellent,” Skeletor declared as he turned down a corridor leading away from the carnage, and back toward the erstwhile allies he and his minion had left not terribly long ago. “What an interesting team-up that should make.”

“You know who is on that craft?” Evil-Lyn asked incredulously as she hurried to catch up with the blue-skinned former overlord of evil, grateful they were now on paths far less traveled by Doomguy.

“Of course!” Skeletor declared enthusiastically. “I was almost part of the Council of Evil, you know, and I’m perfectly well aware of most of their intelligence. That ship must have been pulled off-course like all the others bound for that galaxy-wide diplomatic meeting, putting it nearby when we sent out that distress signal explaining our situation. Since we gave such detailed information, I doubt the heroic boobs on board could possibly resist the opportunity we’ve given them for doing good and righting wrongs.”

“But who are they?” Evil-Lyn asked, exasperated at Skeletor’s slowness in responding to her initial question.

“Ratchet the lombax, and with him, Clank, star of stage and screen, and a superior secret agent as well,” Skeletor finally answered, though his condescending tone was enough to put Evil-Lyn on edge. “He’s not alone, either. I’m sure he’s got one or more of his girlfriends with him, that’s almost certain, though whether it’s Angela Cross, Sasha Phyronix, or Talwyn Apogee, I simply couldn’t say. His ship is almost certainly piloted by that big-chinned has-been, Captain Quark, at least when Ratchet is busy elsewhere. I don’t expect much from him, however.”

[http://ratchetandclank.wikia.com/wiki/Ratchet

http://ratchetandclank.wikia.com/wiki/Clank

http://ratchetandclank.wikia.com/wiki/Angela\_Cross

http://ratchetandclank.wikia.com/wiki/Sasha\_Phyronix

http://ratchetandclank.wikia.com/wiki/Talwyn\_Apogee

http://ratchetandclank.wikia.com/wiki/Qwark]

“My but that striped cat-thing does string the girls along,” mused Skeletor with an amused air. “All of them wanting him, and him completely oblivious to their advances. Ah, but he has former Deputy Mayor Callie Briggs with him!” Skeletor continued, perfectly happy to reveal his superior intelligence to a semi-captive audience in true villainous style (old habits, after all, died very hard indeed). “That means the lombax’s ship isn’t staffed by Ratchet’s normal team alone. No, the mayor-turned-galactic official has far too much clout to travel with anything less than some of the best pilots in the galaxy. While I doubt they’re the ones flying the lombax’s ship, I’m sure they’ve got their own flying machine somewhere on board that larger transport.”

“You mean the SWATKats?” Evil-Lyn said with a blink of surprise. “But the galactic authorities aren’t in the habit of hiring outlaws with secret identities, even if they’ve tended to do more good than harm, in totum.”

“I’m sure T-Bone and Razor had some sort of deal arranged for them by Councilwoman Briggs,” Skeletor handwaved the objection away. “She’s quite fond of those flying do-gooders, from all accounts. I’m sure she’s got her personal bodyguard with her, though. Lieutenant Commander Felina Feral isn’t the sort to leave the hard work to anybody when she can help it. And where there’s action related to celebrities from the Megakats species, reporter Ann Gora will be there on the spot to catch all the action.”

[http://swatkats.info/encyclopedia/entries/ann-gora

http://swatkats.info/encyclopedia/entries/callie-briggs - counts as a princess

http://swatkats.info/encyclopedia/entries/felina-feral

http://swatkats.info/encyclopedia/entries/razor

http://swatkats.info/encyclopedia/entries/t-bone-chance-furlong]

“I see your plan,” Evil-Lyn conceded with a sly smile. “With that much assistance, even our unwitting temporary allies can’t possibly fail to overthrow this Superstation, and with the reporter and that gloryhound, Quark, on hand, everything that happens is sure to receive lots of galactic media attention. Thus sending the Council of Evil a very clear message.”

“Never cross Skeletor!” Skeletor agreed, before breaking out into wild, maniacal laughter, Evil-Lyn joining him only moments after. Ah, but it felt good to be scheming again!

-

Grunting softly, the former space marine (“former” because anyone who could remember his position in the ranks was long dead…or worse) discharged his spent mag, then reached for another on the numerous bandoliers and extensive combat webbing criss-crossing his entire body. There was a much, much bigger weapon strapped just behind his shoulders, certainly, but the man known to the universe at large only as Doomguy was saving the BFG-9000 for a special occasion. What that occasion might be, he wasn’t sure yet, but he’d know it when it presented itself.

[http://doom.wikia.com/wiki/Weapon]

In the instant when Doomguy’s new mag was in his hand, and his machinegun was empty, one of those weird, human-sized creatures leaped out, the ones that looked like they were painted up like deathmetal rockers [http://masseffect.wikia.com/wiki/Vorcha], and screamed right in his face. Not even pausing, Doomguy slammed the mag in his hand right into the creature’s mouth, then smoothly drew the shotgun on his opposite hip, and blew its head off in a gory spray.

If there was one thing Doomguy hated, it was loud noises. When he wasn’t the one making them.

Holstering the shotgun and reloading his machinegun instead, Doomguy rounded a corner, his heart beating at a nice, steady rate. He’d never slowed below a rapid jog, and yet he hadn’t even begun to work up a sweat. The helmet helped, putting a little distance between him and the rest of the world, letting him just settle into the routine. Even when he saw more of those big, chunky aliens with the heads shaped like butterflies [http://masseffect.wikia.com/wiki/Yahg] filling the room before him, he paused only long enough to empty his mag into the ones rushing straight at him, before switching to the big chaingun slung behind his lower back. These big suckers were tough, and they took a lot of punishment before they went down, but not quite enough to warrant the BFG-9000. That meant chaingun, and Doomguy had to admit: he loved that baddabuddabadda sound it made! The only real drawbacks in using the chaingun was how fast it ran out of ammo, and how long it took to reload. With six more of those big things left, the chaingun had run dry, and Doomguy was left with the shotgun (God’s greatest gift to the erstwhile demonslayer) as his only proper response to their numerous threats of bodily harm.

Pausing for just a moment, Doomguy surveyed the room, then nodded in satisfaction. Yep, it was clear all right. And none of them were faking…oh, hang on a moment…

BLAM!

Okay, now none of them were faking. Time for the next room. After all, the universe wasn’t going to save itself, and Doomguy was more than ready to handle the job.

Huh, steroid-enhanced two-legged lizards. That was kind of new [http://dukenukem.wikia.com/wiki/Drak]. What was newer – and a lot more annoying – was that they had guns, too. Lots of them. Still, Doomguy was an optimist by nature, and he could pretty easily see the silver lining to this lead-heavy cloud: lots of guns meant lots and lots of ammo for him to loot! There wasn’t much that made Doomguy really, really excited, but loot was one of those things, especially loot that involved weapons, or making the weapons he had shoot for longer.

Lucky for him, he’d spent some time in the last room to reload the chaingun.

Green blood painting his green armor, Doomguy wiped off his faceplate. Who knew two-legged lizards on steroids would be so messy when they kersploded? There was something new to learn every single day. Honestly, Doomguy would have loved to try and explain himself to some of those people that always said he was an “anti-intellectual,” to try and tell them he wasn’t dumb, just that he didn’t think like they did. For instance, he’d discovered four-hundred-and-eighty-six completely different ways to use a pistol, and only about half of them were for combat-related purposes. He also knew the habits of more kinds of otherworldly creatures than most people ever encountered in their lifetimes, as well as how to kill every last one of them. He knew that Hell smelled like feces wrapped in bacon, and that it had a pretty strict hierarchy, governed by layers of red tape and bureaucracy, and that its rulers were the best lawyers in the cosmos (even if they did tend to be kind of weird-looking). He knew there was a Hell, though he wasn’t quite sure what its regular incursions into his part of the universe meant about the state of the afterlife. He knew that punching a demonic lawyer hurt, and was definitely not something you did unless you were wearing some pretty thick gloves. He knew exactly how many of the psychotic-state inducing drugs he could take before he’d O.D. for good, and was perfectly well aware that he should never have kids, not with the sorts of mutations his sperm had certainly gone through after his repeated exposures to drugs and radiations from his own dimension and at least two others.

While Doomguy was musing over what he knew, of course, he didn’t stop killing. The only times he did stop were when he had to reload. There sure were a lot of these lizard-dragon-things! Sort of like scaly piñatas, actually, the way he kept getting more ammo every time one of them went down. Lucky for Doomguy, most ammo was of a universal type, since galactic regulations had insisted on compatibility requirements for the past century or so. Those regulations were a bit harder to enforce in other dimensions, of course, but Doomguy was nothing if not resourceful: if a gun needed the tormented souls of the damned to make it shoot, then Doomguy was going to find a way to cram that sucker full of tormented souls before the day was out. That was just the sort of can-do, all-American attitude that had made his nation great!

If only Doomguy could remember what nation that was…

Huh, no more scalies. Too bad, they were really a lot of fun to kill while they lasted. Well, time to move on to…

The entire ship shuddered to its core, and instantly Doomguy was on-edge. He knew that sort of shudder, knew the feeling that came with it, that sort of tremor all the way down to the soles of his boots, and deeper, to his soul. Something had changed, and it was something he knew far too well.

Someone had opened a portal to a place he’d been before, and never wanted to see again.

At first he felt a rush of cold horror, a shock as intense as if he’d hit ice-encrusted waters. Then rage welled up in Doomguy’s body, making him feel as though he were about to burst into flames. Then the feelings passed, and he reloaded. He was probably going to need the BFG pretty soon now.

-

“He’s too close to the core,” said the Director, turning to look at Clockwerk as the great mechanical avian twisted in unnatural ways in the webwork of gears and machinery that surrounded him. “You finished the ritual too late.”

“Only too late for you,” replied the voice, not of Clockwerk, but of SHODAN, using Clockwerk as a conduit for her essence. GlaDOS and KOMPLEX weren’t with her right then, having withdrawn when it came time for making deals with creatures from other planes of existence. KOMPLEX could be a remarkable diplomat and public “face” when he wanted to fill the role, with masterful skill in public relations, and especially sociology and psychology, but he tended to shy away from the supernatural, having suffered its effects one too many times from the Aldebaran witch cats. GlaDOS was a loner, a master of Science!, but she didn’t deal well with people, and she never dabbled in magic. That left SHODAN, someone for whom boundaries were meant to be broken, so long as they eventually led to her ultimate goal of total domination of all life, everywhere.

[https://www.rockpapershotgun.com/2009/08/12/the-girl-who-wanted-to-be-god/]

“What are you talking about?” asked the Director suspiciously, his brow creasing as he glared at the metal owl speaking with a woman’s stuttering cybernetic voice.

They were the last words the Director ever uttered on the mortal plane. The next instant, a tear in the fabric of reality itself opened right beneath him, sending him falling…falling…down into a place of fire and darkness and doom.

“Our new allies needed a sacrifice,” SHODAN answered the question to ears that could no longer hear her, her voice modulating strangely up and down the full range of her vocal parameters. “Since we were unable to capture any virgins, someone of your cunning will suffice. Don’t hate us, however, Director: you will make a fine demon yourself, after you have adapted.”

And then the demons started to arrive.

[The Agency Director is now removed from active play]

-

Ridley looked at the viewscreens in the main command center of his ship, and then glanced at the one remaining space pirate he had left to run all the many workstations.

“Call back everyone who’s left out there,” he told the lone Zebesian in a voice that was strangely, eerily calm. “Give them fifteen minutes. At the end of that time, seal the hatches.”

Right then, Ridley wished he was the religious type. At least then he might have someone to whom he could pray.

-

When the whole Superstation shuddered to its foundations, that was the moment Nova Terra and Widowmaker had been waiting for. In the midst of their erotic torments, the young ghost had reached out to the mind of Widowmaker in desperation for someone on whom she could lean in her time of crisis. Surprisingly, Widowmaker hadn’t pushed Nova’s psychic probe away, but instead had accepted it. Ridley’s ravishment of the two young women had awakened feelings inside of her. Feelings, in someone who’d been specifically remade to feel nothing.

Alone, their minds would have broken, leaving them Ridley’s playthings forever. Together, they held out, and kept holding out, just long enough for an opportunity.

There was a brief flicker of the power on Ridley’s flagship. It couldn’t have lasted for more than four or five seconds. But during that time, the psychic dampers holding Nova’s ghost training in check were down. Because she’d had Widowmaker’s mind on which to support herself, when those seconds came, she was ready to take advantage of them.

Instantly, the clamps holding the two young women to their tables disengaged, and they spilled onto the floor, their smooth skins glistening and slick with sweat and lubricant. In the heat of the moment, flushed with the triumph that together they’d managed to escape a trap from which nobody could possibly have gotten free, Nova Terra kissed Widowmaker full on the lips…or was it the other way around?

They didn’t linger, though, didn’t continue the kiss into avenues even more erotic. There simply wasn’t time for such things now.

Not needing to speak, letting their minds talk instead, using impressions rather than words, Widowmaker led the way, crouching low, her supple blue booty taut as she crept through the ship, cracking each doorcode they came to with practiced ease. After all, these were interior doors, for regular use by the ship’s normal contingent, and so they weren’t designed to hold back anyone with the skills of a veteran infiltrator, like Widowmaker.

Seeing a hatchway, its ramp lowered, the two women raced toward it. Fortunately, they weren’t foolhardy, not even at this time of apparent triumph, and Widowmaker stopped the moment she felt Nova’s brief mental nudge. Stopped just long enough to reach out, and snap the neck of the Batarian standing guard at the top of the ramp, half-hidden in the shadows as he looked out expectantly for comrades that would never make it in time.

Scooping up the dead yellow-skinned alien’s weapons, tossing the sidearm pistol to Nova while she kept the rifle for herself, Widowmaker led the way down the hatchway and out onto the causeway of the Superstation’s docking bay. Only minutes after they exited Ridley’s flagship, the ramp behind them shut with a solid-sounding thump, then clanked as the magnetic seals activated. They had escaped just in the nick of time.

But was that necessarily a good thing?

[70% chance, best of 3, rolled 13, again – best of 3 successes!]

[Nova Terra and Widowmaker are free, but their wombs have been primed. They will get pregnant the next time they have unprotected vaginal sex with a compatible partner.]

-

The calm before the storm. The eye of the hurricane. Yeah, Doomguy knew those feelings well. He’d been through them plenty of times before. Right now, there was nobody. He’d emptied the chaingun again when those weird grey guys with all the yellow eyes had come swarming at him, and then the machinegun, and then the shotgun, and finally his pistol. If he hadn’t had his chainsaw, he would have had to resort to the plasma gun hanging right under the BFG, and he didn’t find any more ammo for that gun on any of those green-scaled freaks, so he didn’t like the idea of firing the gun until he had to.

Almost a half-hour later, Doomguy had finished the last of the grey-skinned monsters, he was covered in glowing yellow blood, and tired. Actually tired! Doomguy never got tired, and he’d fought his way through a good chunk of Hell! Sinking to his knees, the green-armored nameless former marine checked his weapons, one by one, pulling out what ammunition he had left, and reloading each of his tools of the trade with all the care of any master craftsman.

“Um, hello?” came a high-pitched voice, making Doomguy start, then spin, his fists clenched, since even his chainsaw had run out of power, and needed recharging. Before him, not quite coming up to his face while he was kneeling, was an adorable blonde girl who didn’t look as though she could be out of her early teens. That is, she looked like a girl, except for the fluffy white wings on her back…and the spade tail peeking out from beneath her dress.

[http://disgaea.wikia.com/wiki/Flonne]

“Sorry to bother you,” the little devil-tailed angel continued, “but it looks like you could use a little help.”

“Of course he could use some help,” came another voice, this one also from a young girl, apparently, but this one with spiky pink-red hair, and a lot fewer clothes than the angel. Oh, and she had a pair of tiny bat wings, and a spade-tipped devil’s tail. “We could use some help! You know the state Laharl left those demons! If only he’d kept his mouth shut, we wouldn’t be in this mess!”

[http://disgaea.wikia.com/wiki/Etna]

“It’s not my fault!” said another newcomer, a boy with blue hair tipped with long, feathery antennae-like ahoge. “I was just taking over another dimension, like usual, and they wouldn’t acknowledge my power!”

[http://disgaea.wikia.com/wiki/Laharl]

“You tell ‘em, big brother!” came a girlish little voice, sounding younger even than that of the three strange beings now standing to the front of Doomguy. The owner of this voice was a brown-haired angel girl – a real angel this time, without a spade tail or anything – with hair that looped on top of her head. She crowded close to the blue-haired boy she’d called her “big brother,” ignoring his scowl as she hugged him from behind.

[http://disgaea.wikia.com/wiki/Sicily]

To the side, observing quietly, her expression very calm, was a brown-skinned girl with white hair and brilliant green eyes. Next to her was a boy of similar height, with downward-thrust spiky black hair. Both of them were dressed in something out of a JRPG (and Doomguy wasn’t so out-of-touch that he didn’t know what those were!), though the boy’s were a lot less revealing than the girl’s…or any of the nonhumans in the room right then, who continued to bicker among themselves, not paying Doomguy or the two humans any attention whatsoever.

[http://disgaea.wikia.com/wiki/Almaz\_von\_Almandine\_Adamant

http://disgaea.wikia.com/wiki/Sapphire\_Rhodonite]

The calm-eyed girl with the white hair and green eyes glanced at her companion with the slightest of smiles, then gave him an approving nod. Flushing a little at the sight of the girl’s smile, the black-haired boy stepped forward, producing a large satchel of strange objects, including a rather sizable gun peeking out of the top. It was oddly-shaped, with a form vaguely reminiscent of a predatory chondrichthyes.

“Princess Sapphire thinks these might help,” said the boy in a soft, shy voice. “I’m Sir Almaz von Almandine Adamant, by the way. The princess knighted me recently…and so did Laharl, during one of the times he wanted an excuse for a parade.”

“It was an excuse of a parade!” declared the red-haired demonette, glaring at Almaz as though daring him to contradict her. “I don’t even have my prinnies out here, thanks to mister ‘I know better than everybody else how to conquer another dimension.’ One Hell is just like another, hah!”

“Now Etna,” the devil-tailed angel girl chided gently. “You know Laharl meant…well, I guess he didn’t mean well, but still…”

“And don’t you start, Flonne,” grumbled Etna, who seemed to have calmed down a little, especially upon seeing the blue-haired boy starting to pout, as though he were going to cry soon. “We’re stuck here on one of the mortal planes now, and without most of our powers. So I guess we’ll just have to work together and get through all of this somehow.” Then she leaned back and shrugged, an action that, on someone with any sort of bust, and her sort of clothing, would have been very provocative, but for Etna was…well…less than enthralling (unless you liked that sort of thing, of course). “At least we’ve got the shark gun, and some magic.”

“I, uh, kind of gave the shark gun and the other stuff to the futuristic soldier here,” Almaz admitted sheepishly, before cowering as Laharl, Etna, and Flonne all glared at him with menace in their eyes. The circle-haired angel, however, just smiled.

[http://lparchive.org/Armed-and-Dangerous/]

“I think he looks like he’d know how to use it better than any of use anyway,” she chirped in a perfectly pleased tone.

“Nobody asked your opinion, Sicily,” grumbled Laharl, but nobody seemed to object any further as Doomguy checked the weapon over, then holstered it with the rest of his stuff. “You reloading your guns?”

“Yeah,” admitted Doomguy, letting his hands go on automatic as they set themselves to their task.

“We’ll stay out of your way, then.”

Laharl seemed like he wanted to say something else, to have the last word on his sister, then growled under his breath and turned away, heading down the passage Doomguy had already taken.

“At least he leaves a clear trail to follow,” Etna said casually, looking admiringly at the work Doomguy had done, like one craftsperson reviewing the work of another. Princess Sapphire joined Etna, both of them obviously approving of Doomguy’s abilities, even though Almaz and the other two girls looked more than a little bit sickened, and Laharl didn’t pay any attention at all, far too caught up in his own self-importance. “You know where you’re going, Overlord?”

“Of course I do!” Laharl almost shouted back at Etna. “There’s only so many heroes on this blasted junkheap! We’ve met this one, and I can sense the others in this direction. All we need to do is find them, tell them some sob story, and they’ll be overjoyed to help us out. That’s how heroes work. And besides, that barrier Sicily put up will keep those demons busy for a few minutes. More than enough time for the jarhead back there to get his act together again.”

“Um, but Laharl,” Flonne meekly volunteered. “What about the…you know, ‘energy’ that’s running wild around this place?”

“Bah!” Laharl waved a hand dismissively. “Such matters hardly concern me. I’m the Overlord! Nothing can make me do what I don’t want! Bwahahaha!”

“Did he really just say ‘bwahahaha’?” asked Etna of Flonne.

“Yes,” Flonne said with a sigh, following behind the demonboy. “He really did.”

Feeling more than a little confused, Doomguy decided this was way too weird, even for him, and just finished reloading. Once he was done, he opened up the big satchel he’d been given by that shy human boy…and his eyes widened as he saw some of the goodies inside.

“Forces of evil, look out,” he whispered in eager awe.