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When Blade opened his eyes again, his head throbbed and his body ached from his snout to the tip of his tail. The world was spinning around him and he felt like vomiting. Each movement he made felt like a thousand needles pricking his flesh.

It took him a while before he finally realized where he was and why. He felt sluggish and empty-headed. He was still on Talia's cold, stone floor, but warm, soft blankets were laid over him.

And then he remembered Akir…

Blade winced and tried to keep from crying, but it was inevitable. His mate was gone forever, and there was nothing he could do about it.

He thought more about what he did; he killed people. Soldiers as they were, they most likely had done nothing wrong… and he slaughtered them like animals. He nearly lost his own life in the process, and what good would that have done? He had been reckless.

And Asha…

Blade whimpered, wishing he could hug his daughter right now. He wanted to comfort her as he wrapped around her and tell her everything was going to be okay, but he wasn't sure if that was true. Now that he had killed palace guards, there was no way he could stay in the city any longer. They would hunt him down and kill him just like they had killed Akir—if it was even them that had killed Blade's mate.

Gods, why was I so stupid… Blade clenched his teeth tightly and cried. He couldn't return to his daughter. Blade was a risk to her life, and he couldn't bear the thought of her dying because of his mistakes. No, he could never be with Asha again...

“Blade?" Talia sat down on a stool next to him with a worried expression. Blood stained her ragged clothing.

Blade sniffled and glanced up at her with wet eyes. “I can't ever see m-my daughter again… I'll never see Akir again," he said hoarsely. He pinched his eyes shut and whined. “It hurts, Talia… G-gods, it hurts…" He sobbed and clutched his chest with his paws. His emotional pain was much greater than his physical pain, and his heart was hammering against his chest. Each pang felt worse than the last.

“What do you mean? What happened?" she asked and lowered to her knees to rest a hand on his shoulder.

Blade shivered and trembled. “A-Akir is dead… I'm so lost. I-I don't know what to do. He's always… He's always been here for me."

“Is he really… dead?" she asked. She couldn't even believe it herself. Her lips trembled as she tried to think of something to say.

Blade nodded and sucked in a ragged breath. “They killed him."

“I'm so… so, so sorry Blade…" Her voice cracked and she turned her head away. “Where's Asha?"

Blade sighed and answered, “She's with Vespera… safe."

Talia squeezed his shoulder and tried to comfort him. “What happened last night, Blade?"

He grimaced and turned his head away. “I-I don't want to talk about it…"

“Blade," she pressed.

A moment passed before he gave another sigh. “I… I tried to attack the ruler… whoever that is."

“You tried to attack the king?" she asked incredulously. “Why in the world would…" Talia sighed too, seeming to have realized why he did it. “You almost died, Blade."

“I know…"

“That was stupid of you… Did you even think about what would have happened to Asha if you died?"

Blade's face contorted as he nodded and elicited a soft whimper. “I did… I'm a terrible father. I- I abandoned her, just like my parents did with me. I'm… I'm no better than they are…" He started to cry profusely again.

“Blade," she said softly, “You can still see her again. It's not over."

He shook his head and cried. “I can't. I can't endanger her like that. I can't see her… I can't see my own daughter ever again. I want her to be safe, s-so… I…" He clenched his paws tightly until he drew blood with his claws. “I'm leaving her. I'm leaving the city."

Blade rolled onto his paws and struggled to stand up. His limbs wanted to give out and his body complained with tremors of pain wracking his entirety. He could hardly stand up, but he began to stumble toward the door despite Talia's yelling.

“Blade! You shouldn't be moving!"

“The longer I-I stay here, the m-more likely you'll be in d-danger too," he said, struggling to even form his words.

“You can hardly stand! Your wing his torn, you're injured, and your wounds will reopen if you fly!"

Blade ignored her and opened the door. “I… I need to bury Akir."

“If they catch you, Blade…"

“I'll be fine." He looked back at Talia and flashed her a brief and tiny smile. “Thank you, Talia… for everything."

She nodded and wiped tears away from her eyes. He knew that if she could stop him she would; it hurt to see him go. “Goodbye, Blade… Try to take care of yourself. I-I'll keep an eye on Asha."

Hearing her say that warmed Blade's cold and broken heart. He hobbled away and used almost all of the strength he had to take off.

The storm had cleared, leaving the fresh scent of fallen rain in the air. Overhanging clouds covered most of the sky, leaving a bleak, gray sheet over the world. But to Blade, his world was much, much darker.

Blade strained his wings and kept look out for any guards that may notice him. He imagined that there were more wanted posters all over the city by now, and there would no longer be a reward for bringing him in alive—only a reward for his head. Normally, Blade wouldn't have to worry about other ferals trying to claim that bounty, but if it was high enough pay… He didn't want to think about that.

He angled down toward his home and checked for any potential threats before roughly landing at the front of his house. Blade's heart caught in his chest as he saw Akir's body again. He could hardly bear the sight… but he had to end this. He had to bury his mate's body.

Tears freely streamed down Blade's cheeks as he took a piece of broken stone and went around to the back of their house, away from any prying eyes. Thankfully it wasn't all sand. After a layer of sand, Blade found dirt and started digging into it. He could hardly move, but he was determined to do one last thing for Akir.

Talia had been right, and Blade's wounds reopened. Blood dripped and soiled his feathers again, and his body trembled with pain. It felt like agonizing hours had passed before he finally dug a big and deep enough hole.

Blade dragged Akir's body around to the back and collapsed on top of it, sobbing profusely. For all of Blade's life, Akir had been there for him. They spent almost every moment together… Now Blade felt alone—so very alone. Akir was everything to him, and his daughter had meant the world to him too.

Now, Blade had nothing.

He never realized until now what it truly felt like to feel empty. There was nothing left in the world for him. He had nowhere to go and no place to be. He was lost.

After spending his last moments with Akir, Blade gently kissed his forehead and carefully lowered his body into the grave. He buried Akir and then lay down next to the grave until he cried himself to sleep.

Night had fallen when Blade woke up again. His body was even sorer than before, and his face felt like it had been beaten repeatedly. His nose was stuffed and his eyes didn't want to open, and his throat was dryer than the sand.

Blade shivered and curled up as tightly as he could, trying to use his feathers for warmth. They were all bloody and matted, so that hardly helped. He was forced to get up, as difficult as it was, and find shelter somewhere.

He couldn't ever step foot into their home again. There were too many memories there, and Blade was tired of crying. Tears wouldn't even come out anymore. It hurt to cry, and he was tired of hurting. As far as he could tell, there wasn't going to be an end to his pain.

He flew out of the city and away from the sea, going deeper into the desert. The cold, night air numbed his body almost pleasantly, taking away a lot of the pain he felt.

After a while, he found a bunch of rocks jutting from the sandy earth. He landed as lightly as he could, but he still nearly toppled over and tripped over his paws. There wasn't much of a recess in the rocks, but he found a big enough hole for him to crawl into. He spent the rest of his night there, shivering and sulking before finally falling into a fitful slumber.

* * *

Day after day, Blade continued further and further away from the city he once called home. He left everything he ever knew behind, since there was nothing left for him anyway. His torturing thoughts never escaped him and stuck with him every wing beat of the way.

Blade couldn't stop thinking about Akir. More and more of his happy memories faded away and were replaced with visions of Akir's beaten and bleeding body.

He hardly ate, and that was mostly because he didn't feel like it. He drank enough water when he had the chance, but that was almost everything he had to sustain him. With no idea where to go, he just continued flying in one single direction, not caring whether he lived or died.

Now that he abandoned everything, Blade had nothing left to live for.

Hunger pains gnawed at his stomach. Most of his smaller wounds had healed, but the major ones marred his body without much respite. Since he was starving, his body couldn't keep up with continually healing them as they reopened, so they mostly just stayed open, cracked and bleeding.

It finally came to the point that Blade was sure he was going to die. His mind was slow, his body was frail, and he could hardly stay awake even after he had slept for most of the day.

After the desert had ended, he found a dark-green forest, but he felt too weak to even find a small rodent. He doubted he could have caught it anyway. He just felt empty and very, very tired.

Blade stopped in his tracks and wobbled in place for a moment. He looked down at his paws and wondered why they wouldn't move, and then he just collapsed. He croaked feebly and finally gave up. Blade accepted his fate, shutting his eyes to think of his failure, how he never avenged his mate and ended up dead in the middle of nowhere.

I'll see you soon, my love…

The thought of seeing his mate again put him at peace. With a soft, gentle sigh, Blade smiled and let himself slip away.

* * *

“What if he's completely feral! Ya know just as well as I do we'll be his lunch when he wakes up. Look at 'im! He's all bone an' starving… We're dead meat. I can't believe ya did this… Oh no, he's waking up!"

Blade groaned and slowly opened his eyes, grimacing as he looked around. He was inside a little wooden building, lying on his side across a small bed of some sort. He saw one human run out of the house, and another staring at him with wide, fearful eyes. New bandages covered his stinging wounds. Beside him was a big slab of meat, and the delicious scent of it assaulted his nostrils and sparked his instincts.

He immediately lunged and sank his teeth into the meat, growling viciously as he tore into it and nearly swallowed it whole. His eyes darted around searching for more, and the human held out another thick piece. Blade ripped it from his hands and devoured that piece too. He lay back and sighed.

His head throbbed painfully and his body ached worse, but he was still alive. Blade wondered how many times he had nearly died by now and found it mildly amusing, but at the same time he wished that he would just die anyway. Life wasn't worth living anymore, and every day he had spent without Akir was just torture.

And now that he didn't starve to death, he'd have to suffer even more.

“Hello," the human said, “my name is Riley." He was young and had a head full of black hair, and he wore animal skin for clothing instead of linens.

Blade opened and eye and stared at him. His first instinct was to thank him, but he wasn't in the mood. He hated humans anyway, and he was surprised that one of them would even consider helping a dragon.

“Can you talk?"

Blade just blinked at him. What dragon couldn't talk?

“Well, okay… uhm… Just stay here and get some rest, I guess. I'll bring you more food."

Blade watched him leave and then stood up. He still could hardly walk, but at least he could move. He opened the door and poked his head out. It looked like he was in a human village; there weren't any other ferals or even two-legs around, and everything looked pretty small.

He stumbled out and then hobbled away toward a line of trees. No one seemed to notice him, and Blade was soon stepping through the forest to make his escape.

He didn't want a human's help, and he was rather annoyed that one of them had saved his life. Even so, Blade had to admit that he was feeling much better. Having food in his stomach was a welcoming feeling, and his muscles thanked him for it. He hunted for more and pinned down another meal: a small feline that got too curious and close to a big, hungry dragon.

Blade had forgotten how hard it was to hunt for food. He continued looking around, but he scared almost every valuable target away. It wasn't long before he realized that it was probably because of his powerful, grotesque scent that smelled of death. He hadn't bathed since that day… What had it been, a month ago now?

Instead of looking for food, Blade listened for the sound of running water and eventually came upon a river deep in the wilderness. He shoved his face in the cold, refreshing water and drank nearly a full gallon before taking a breath.

He winced as he stepped into the rushing river, his feathers flaring out as the cold water seeped into his bones. He shivered and growled, baring his fangs. The more his body was submerged, the more wounds the frigid water covered. It took him a while to grow accustomed to such cold water, but thankfully he was able to stand at the bottom of the river and keep just his head above the water.

One good bath later and Blade felt rejuvenated. His mood wasn't any better, but his body thanked him greatly. Blood still stained his feathers in some places, but he hoped that would wear off before long. He never liked being dirty, let alone looking completely ragged like a wild animal. The drenched bandages didn't help either, but at least his wounds would probably heal faster with them.

But now, that was all Blade was—a wild animal. He wandered west around the forest for months, finding more and more human camps similar to the first one he came across. Of course, he had no interest in them and found it very annoying to constantly have to avoid the humans. Some of them were even brave enough to attack Blade and hunt him as some sort of trophy, but he made quick work of them.

His wounds healed very slowly, but after a few months they had healed to the point that he no longer ached. The only thing that hurt was his heart.

Blade never forgot Akir, Asha, or Talia—even Vespera would have been welcomed company. He longed for any sort of contact, to be back in the city again. He felt so very alone, and being in this giant forest made him feel completely isolated from the world, trapped in his own thoughts.

The first time Blade met someone else, he happened upon a real, wild dragon. And that's all he was, a wild dragon. He spoke in a tongue Blade had never heard before and seemed very aggressive, so Blade kept his distance and left, despite longing to stay with him for company.

The next time, Blade found a small city. He had wandered far enough through the forest that he came up to the other end of the continent, finding himself on the western coast. This city was very small in comparison, but Blade hoped that maybe this was where he could start a new life… a life without Akir.

Blade flew down and landed in an empty area between some buildings. He was immediately surprised not to feel his paws sifting through the sand as he walked, but instead stepping on solid ground. This dirt road led to a bustling cobblestone road. His paws had already been sore from walking too much, and this rough, hard road certainly didn't help.

Unlike his old city, this one appeared to have almost as many ferals as there were two-legs. Blade ambled down the busy street, noticing a lot of feral dragons and gryphons mostly, but there were some wolves and felines too. For being an outsider, he felt at bit more at ease to be with his own kind.

The majority of the buildings here were made out of wood instead of stone and sandstone, and the architecture was different too. Instead of rounded corners and roofs, everything was blocky and cube-like. It even looked like there were houses stacked on other houses, much like the area Vespera lived in.

Blade stopped in the center of a market, resting next to a fountain while crowds of people walked around him. It was loud and busy, just like home.

Blade dipped his head into the fountain and took a drink, but before he could finish a squawk sounded next to him.

“Gross! You drink that water? That's so gross, oh my goodness," an orange-feathered gryphon said.

Blade finished his drink and wiped his lips, staring sternly at him. The gryphon had dark-orange feathers on his front half and bright-orange feathers on his lower half, but his underbelly was completely dark-gray. The same charcoal color marked his face and body in blotchy designs as well as his feline paws like socks. He stood about as tall as Blade's shoulders, like most gryphons.

“What is gross?" Blade asked gruffly. He was almost startled by his own voice. It was deeper than normal, a tad bit raspy, and it sounded like he hadn't spoken in half a year… which was exactly true.

“That!" he squeaked, pointing at the fountain. “That water's not for drinking! I've had lots of baths in there, and I'm not the only one… bleegh…" He made a weird face and grimaced. “I can't believe you actually drank that, you weirdo. You're not from around here, are you?"

Blade wore a frown and didn't really say much. This gryphon reminded him a lot about Vespera's talkative quirks, and those got on Blade's nerves quick.

“No…"

The sunset-colored gryphon sat next to Blade on his haunches and cocked his head sideways. “Where're you from then? And why are you so dirty? Why don't you take a bath while we talk!" he offered and hopped into the fountain himself, splashing Blade with water.

Blade grumbled quietly and thought about leaving… but this was the first conversation he had since he left. He reluctantly climbed into the fountain with the gryphon and tried to clean himself. It was rather hard to do when there were so many eyes staring in their direction.

“I'm from the east," Blade answered and ruffled his feathers.

“Really?" he asked. “There's nothing but human villages and wild ferals in the forest… You're not a wild dragon, are you?" His purple eyes widened at the possibility.

Blade shook his head. “No…"

“Well, you certainly can't be from the desert! There's nothing there. Just a bunch of sand. I bet you're from the north! I don't know very many northern dragons because I grew up in the south, but your feathers still throw me for a loop. I've never seen a dragon with feathers before!" he exclaimed almost too excitedly.

Blade sighed. Even on the other side of the continent his species was very rare. He wondered if he'd ever meet another feathered dragon face-to-face.

“No, I'm from the east… from across the desert. I lived on the other coast." Blade winced as he rubbed a big scar across his belly.

“OH WOW, REALLY!?" he squawked. “That's so cool! I didn't know that there were people living all the way over there. Oooooh, what was it like? Are there other feather-dragons over there? Was there just sand all over the place?"

The gryphon's pure, genuine surprise almost startled Blade. He pinned his ears back and shrugged his wings. “I… uhm. I haven't met really any of my kind… But there was definitely a lot of sand."

The gryphon was literally wiggling with excitement. “Cool, cool, cool! What about gryphons? Are there gryphons there too?"

Blade nodded. “There are, yes."

“That sounds like an amazing place! I bet the sun was really warm… Oooh, I'd love to just lie on a rock all day and take it all in!" The pleasant look on his face was more than enough to tell Blade how delighted he would have been.

“Why did you leave?" the gryphon asked, perking his ears a little. He couldn't believe that Blade would leave such a paradise.

Blade grumbled and turned his head away. “I-I don't really want to talk about that…"He went to clean his shoulder and then hissed painfully. Despite having healed completely, it still from extremely tender and sore from where he was shot.

He noticed Blade's pain and curiously clacked his beak as he inspected it. Most of Blade's feathers had grown back, but they still couldn't hide the giant scar there.

“Ouch! That must have hurt a lot… Wow, what is that from?"

Blade sighed and tried to pet his feathers down now that he had cleaned most of the grime from them. “A gun."

“What's a gun?"

“It's uhm… a thing that goes boom and shoots rocks," Blade explained and climbed out of the fountain. Water dripped from his soaked feathers and dribbled onto the stone plaza.

“Oh! You mean a cannon? WOW, how did you survive a CANNON!?" He hopped out too and then shook his body like a dog, spraying water droplets everywhere, even on those who were just walking by. They shot the both of them strange looks, but otherwise continued on with their lives.

Blade winced, finding the gryphon to be too loud. He didn't like other people hearing their conversation—especially if it meant him talking about what happened that night.

“N-no… it was like a smaller cannon. Hand-sized." Blade looked around, wondering if there was any way he could get away from this gryphon before he was sucked into something he didn't want to talk about.

“Oh, I see! You look like you've been in a war or something… Is that what happened? Is that why you're here now?" he asked. His eyes were wide with a mixture of curiosity and awe.

Blade didn't think twice. “Yes. I… uhm… fled."

“I see, I see… That makes so much sense! You came quite a long ways, though. Think you'll settle in here? It's a really nice city! I've lived here for about eight years now, and it's been really fun. Everyone here is so nice!"

Blade shuffled on his paws. “I'm not really sure…"

“Well, let me show you around first!" he squawked happily, already leading Blade away from the fountain. “My name is Renjee, by the way. What's yours, featherbutt?"

Blade hesitated, but ultimately he thought it would be a good idea to scope out the city. Maybe he could actually settle down here…

“Blade," he answered and followed Renjee down a stone path that cut away from the market.

“Nice to meet you, Blade! That's a really cool name. You must have had awesome parents!"

Blade clenched his teeth and felt a nagging pain in his chest. Akir had been his parent… Talia, too, in his recent years. “Y-yeah… I did."

“My parents were pretty nice too, but they were B-O-R-I-N-G! Still, I should go visit them some time. They're probably worried sick about me!"

Blade wondered what it would be like to have actual parents, to have a home to go back to and someone worrying about him… He sighed and hoped that Talia and Asha were doing well. He missed them greatly. He wondered if Asha would miss her parents like he did when he was younger.

Blade sighed.

Renjee led on, talking and blabbing about every little thing he could find. The weird thing was—despite Blade's initial annoyance with the gryphon—was that he felt… comforted. To finally have someone to talk to was more than enough, but constantly listening to Renjee distracted him from his thoughts. Blade hardly had time to think!

The city had a lot of unique qualities to it, though not as many as Renjee thought there were. It was constructed on top of a large hill, so a lot of the buildings were built into the hillside. There was an underground tunnel Renjee showed him that cut through the earth and opened up in three other entrances. It was a quicker means of travel for those who couldn't fly.

They visited the sea, and it was colder here than on the other side of the continent. The smell of sea salt and brine was stronger too. More ships filled the harbor, and Blade could watch them leaving and arriving in the distance, reminding him of his and Akir's little game.

Different from Blade's city, there didn't seem to be a separation of the classes here. Everyone was equal as far as he could tell. When they walked through a richer housing district, Blade saw an almost even mixture of ferals and two-legs there. There weren't any specific races assigned to guard duty, either. In fact, there weren't very many human guards at all, let alone humans in general. Blade liked that a lot.

And when the sun began to set, Renjee led Blade to his house in a poorer district. To Blade, the citizens here were by no means poor. He knew what poverty truly was, and the people here were only mildly inconvenienced—though he never told Renjee that.

“This is it!" Renjee said happily and opened his door for Blade. It was a wooden sliding door. “Home sweet home."

Blade stepped inside and immediately smelled the gryphon's strong scent all over. The interior was a little cramped by the walls, but it was still larger than Blade's old home. Alike Blade's home, there wasn't much furniture; there were some beds lying around and then the usual containers for water and food.

“It's not much, but it's enough for me!" Renjee said happily and trotted into the next room just to flop on a bed. He wriggled around on his back and warbled with delight.

Blade bared a small smile and looked around. “It is a nice home," Blade complimented. “Do you live alone?"

Renjee nodded. “Thanks! You're welcome to stay here as long as you like. I haven't actually had anyone live with me before. There's more than enough room, and I could use someone to talk to!"

Blade wondered how many more topics Renjee could even find to discuss. He was like an endless, jubilant orator. Blade wasn't sure how Renjee managed to convince him to stay the night, but it was probably the enticing warmth of having a bed to sleep on.

After finally telling Renjee that he needed his sleep, Blade slinked away into his own room and curled up on one of Renjee's many beds. He groaned softly and fluffed up his feathers, his sore body almost shuddering delightedly. It was such an amazing feeling to finally feel comfortable. Blade fell asleep almost instantly.

Blade spent the next month with Renjee. The gryphon grew on him, and Blade really liked spending time with him. It was a good distraction away from his torturing thoughts. Little by little his memories stopped haunting him, and he started to forget the pain. He still missed Akir dearly and wished he could see Asha and Talia again, but it was comforting to know that they were better off without him.

Renjee brought Blade to a few of his friends, and they all had fairly uppity attitudes too; Blade was surprised that most of Renjee's friends were dragons and not more gryphons. He liked a couple of them, but having more than one Renjee was a headache. Everyone seemed a lot happier here, and that raised Blade's spirits a little each day.

The more time Blade spent with Renjee, the more he really started to like him. Renjee was very kind and caring; he was very interested in what other's had to say too, not just himself. Blade opened up a little bit more at a time, but he still kept why he left his old life behind a secret.

The next month, Blade was smiling more and more and getting much friendlier with Renjee. They'd go out together each day, find their food, play around and talk, and then go back home to rest.

Renjee didn't have much of a job, so Blade was going to teach him a few tricks about stealing, but the gryphon shook his head profusely and stated that he would never steal. And honestly, Blade didn't really want to steal either, but he never thought about not stealing. They would occasionally find an odd job and do it to earn some extra coin. That felt extremely odd to Blade, but very rewarding.

For once in the last year, life was treating Blade much better. There were a few days that he'd get all mopey, but Renjee was there to help him. But the worst day had yet to come.

Blade realized that it was nearly a year later since that night. He had been away from home for so long that he thought he was feeling homesick, but Blade felt worse than that. His stomach twisted and turned all day, despite Renjee trying to comfort him. The pain was creeping back into his bones, and his thoughts were in dark places.

Blade pulled Renjee against him, hugging and wrapping his paws around the smaller gryphon while they cuddled in the same bed. Recently, this was how they slept together, sharing their warmth as the cold winter came upon them. Blade had no idea that other places of the world went through seasons and found it rather fascinating, but at the same time he missed the warmth of the sun against his feathers.

Renjee was so soft and huggable that Blade couldn't resist squeezing on him and nuzzling into his warm feathers. He realized Akir must have felt the same with Blade…

Blade sighed. Renjee twined their tails together and looked up at Blade with a quiet warble.

“What's wrong, Blade? You've been acting like a grump-butt today," Renjee said.

“I don't know… I'm just not feeling well."

“Why? Are you sick? This time of the year, a lot of people get sick… But… What's on your mind?"

Blade winced and shrugged his shoulders. He had told Renjee a lot of what actually happened that night, but he had never told him the whole truth; he wasn't sure if he could handle telling him without breaking down completely.

“Is it about those people you killed?"

Blade frowned and shook his head. “I probably just need some rest." Now he sounded like Akir.

Renjee turned around in Blade's embrace so they lay together, belly to belly. He looked into Blade's golden eyes with wide, sincere, purple spheres and gently pet the soft feathers puffing out at his chest. A warm smile cracked his beak.

“Well, maybe I have an idea that will help you feel better! B-but uhm—are you uhm—Do you like other males?" Renjee looked up at Blade bashfully with his feathers all puffed out around his head. “I've been wanting to ask you that."

Blade blushed a little. Renjee didn't know about his relationship with Akir. Blade had thought about mating with Renjee plenty, but he had never been sure with himself. He wasn't ready to move on… No… He wasn't sure if he would ever be ready. But the warm thought of sharing intimate relations with someone else again… Gods, he needed that pleasure, and it would really help him feel better right now.

Blade took the initiative and dipped his forepaw between the gryphon's legs, finding his plump orbs and thick sheath. He took them in his paw and rubbed around in circles as a small smile spread his lips.

Renjee squawked as his feathers flared out. His eyes shut and his tongue lolled out. “Oooh gods, Blaaaade!" The gryphon spread his legs open and buried his beak into Blade's chest, warbling and cooing with delight.

Blade gulped and felt uncertain, but he kept going. He could feel Renjee's sheath already stirring, thickening up and swelling just before his pink, tapered tip poked out of it. Blade grabbed his orbs and gently squeezed them and rolled them around in his paw while he looked down and watched the gryphon's cock grow.

Getting Renjee worked up made Blade get all worked up. He hadn't felt any sexual stimulation in so long… His length grew quickly and his mind fogged over with lust.

It happened so fast that all of these memories started to play through Blade's mind—memories about mating with Akir that Blade had locked away until now. All of those wonderful times they spent together...

Renjee stood up and raised his rump and tail high into the air, waiting for Blade to mount him. Blade stared blankly ahead, hesitating with each and every step while his heart throbbed almost painfully in his chest.

His body craved this; it wanted to satisfy all of his pent-up desires. Staring beneath the gryphon's tail roused so many lustful feelings inside him, but Blade couldn't think straight. It wasn't Renjee that he was seeing, no—it was Akir.

He remembered his and Akir's first time together. He remembered how much they had loved each other, and how much of that love had gone into their mating. He remembered what Akir felt like and how he looked when he was pleasured. And Blade remembered what it felt like to have Akir pleasure him…

Blade felt tears suddenly spill from his eyes and run down his cheeks. He'd never be able to feel that pleasure again… No, he couldn't. As much as he liked Renjee, Blade couldn't say that he loved him. It was too soon for that… And he couldn't betray Akir so soon. They had spent so, so many years together. What they had was more than love; it was a deep-rooted bond they built from spending their entire lives together. Blade had only known Renjee for maybe half of a year

What was I thinking? Blade sniffled and whimpered, shutting his eyes as memories of Akir flooded him. His breathing grew ragged as he started to sob uncontrollably. He leaned to the side and nearly fell over.

“B-Blade? Blade, what's wrong? D-did I do something wrong? Did you not want this?" Renjee licked and nuzzled Blade affectionately, trying his best to comfort the dragon. But Blade was lost in his own mind; he hardly noticed Renjee there.

He tried to wipe his eyes, but his tears kept pouring out. All of the sadness he had locked away broke free, filling him with sorrow. He was so close to being happy again… so close to being like himself—but Blade realized he would never be the same again.

When Akir had died, he had died too.

“I'm… I'm so s-sorry, Renjee," Blade sobbed.

“It's okay, Blade! C'mon, let's just lie down. We don't have to mate. I just thought you might like it."

Blade shook his head and clenched his teeth. “I-I can't… I have to go… I… I need to go home."

Renjee warbled sadly and looked at Blade with a hurt expression. “What do you mean? I… I thought you liked it here… Blade?"

“I'm sorry, Renjee," Blade said and felt like a sword had lodged itself in his chest. He hurt again. That same, agonizing pain returned. Blade coughed and clutched his chest before whirling around and running out of the house. Renjee called after him, but Blade was out of the door and in the sky in seconds.

Seeing Renjee hurt like that… Blade couldn't bear the sight. He never wanted that to happen. Renjee would be better off without Blade too.

The world was better off without Blade.

Blade flew directly east for as long as he could until his wings were nearly ready to fall off. Again, he was leaving behind everything, but this time he wasn't going to start over elsewhere. It was going to end where it began.

It took Blade nearly a full month of straight flying to finally see the desert again. Sand dunes rolled over the landscape for nearly as far as he could see. Before he continued, he stopped to rest and take a big drink of water as well as find his last meal before making his trek over the desert.

Blade was much more prepared this time, and he wasn't half-dead either, so he flew through the cool breeze of the night and made a considerable distance. By the next day, the city was in sight.

Blade didn't think about how badly his wings hurt. There were too many thoughts running through his mind, too many memories that he was drowning in. Everything looked exactly the same, the sun felt the same, and the air was the same. Life continued on without him.

Blade dipped down from the sky and flew to the market district, toward an herb shop that Talia had told him to get supplies from before. He landed in the market area, finding a familiar sense of belonging as he was surrounded by people that he used to recognize. He worried for a moment that someone would recognize him, as he was sure that if he was caught he would be attacked and killed on sight. But Blade realized that he didn't care.

He walked into the herb shop and approached the old fox lady with a glaring expression. “I need a vial of dragonsroot oil."

She regarded him with a curt response and retrieved what he asked for. “This isn't easy to come by. Two gold coins."

Blade growled and bared his fangs, reaching out his paw. “Give it to me."

She gave it to him, but she didn't show a single shred of fear in her eyes. “What are you going to use it for?"

Blade took it and shivered, ignoring her question. “Thank you," he said and walked out. He took off into the air, clutching the vial in his paw. He looked at it momentarily and felt his gut twist uncomfortably as he stared at the strange, light-brown liquid. Just one drop of this would burn his flesh intensely… He wondered how much pain he would experience swallowing it all.

With the tilt of his wings, Blade glided down to his old home. He had told himself he'd never come back here, but he wanted to see it all one last time before he went to see Akir.

When Blade stepped inside, his heart beat against his chest like a hammer. He could hardly breathe, and his eyes were tearing up. It was still abandoned, and it looked like it had never changed. Blood stains still splattered the floor and wooden pieces were scattered all over.

Blade looked around, crying and just letting his emotions seep out of him. He walked into their bedroom and remembered when they first put that bed in. Their first night together on it… Blade whimpered and buried his nose into the fur sheets, trying to smell Akir's scent again. And for a brief, blissful second, he thought he did, but it was his imagination.

Everything smelled old and dusty, and their home looked like it was ravaged. Nothing was what it used to be.

Blade's satchel was still left where he threw it, and he checked to see if there were still any coins left in it. There weren't any left in the exterior pouch, but he was unpleasantly surprised to see the decayed remains of the fruit he had bought a year ago. The golden band that he had bought for Akir was still there, left in an interior pouch. Scavengers must not have checked through the foul-smelling, rotting fruit.

Blade grabbed it and held it in his paw, smiling softly as he imagined Akir wearing the earring. He set it down on the floor in front of him and looked at the vial, feeling his heart racing in his chest. Blade frowned and sniffed, uncertain. Was this really the end?

After all of his pain and anguish, would killing himself really free him? What if the afterlife was real? Would he see Akir there? Was Akir waiting for him? Blade sniffled and started to sob harder.

He missed Akir so much… He couldn't bear life without his mate. He tried to go alone and he failed. He came crawling back right to where it all ended, where his and Akir's life had ended. He wished he could go back to how things were before, but everything would soon come to an end.

Blade thought about Asha and felt like he was stabbed in the gut. He was a failure, no matter how he looked at it. His mate died because he couldn't protect him and he abandoned his daughter because he couldn't control himself. And Talia… He would be a disappointment to her. She saved him on more than one occasion, and now he was just going to throw his life away.

Are you waiting for me, Akir? Blade uncorked the cap to the vial and felt himself shaking. His wings trembled at his sides and his tail swished back and forth. He thought about Renjee and how he had just left his new friend and abandoned him too. If Renjee found out Blade was dead… That didn't matter. Blade would be dead, and he wouldn't have to worry about anything anymore. He could be with his mate.

“I'm coming, Akir," Blade said softly. He tried to think about the good times he had with his mate, and a small smile curled his lips while tears continued to fall. He remembered when they had first met, how Akir saved his life…

Sudden warmth filled him, residing mostly in his chest while it flowed like water through the rest of his body. It was so calming and nurturing that it felt like Akir was wrapping him in the warmest of embraces, whispering softly into his ear and telling him everything was going to be okay.

Blade winced and sighed. He remembered how Akir took such loving care of him. He nurtured and raised Blade, taught him valuable lessons, and made him who he was today. Akir devoted his entire life to loving Blade. From the first day he met Blade to his very last, Akir was there for Blade, protecting him. And even now, it felt like Akir was still here with him.

Akir didn't want Blade to die. Blade didn't want to die.

Blade cried out and dropped the vial away from him, the glass shattering and spilling the lethal liquid over the ground. He clutched his stomach and felt onto his side, crying profusely. Akir didn't want him to die.

Beautiful memories washed over Blade as he sobbed uncontrollably. He remembered when Akir first said 'I love you' to him as a mate. Old, familiar feelings welled inside Blade, taking away the pain and agony he had felt for the last year. He was filled instead with joy. To know that Akir loved him warmed Blade's heart, and if Akir was truly waiting for him, he would want Blade to live a full life before coming to see him again.

Akir would want Blade to be happy.

I will wait for you, Blade, and I will be with you every step of the way—until we see each other again.

Blade lay there for hours, crying and reminiscing about all of his happiest memories. Most of his pain finally disappeared, leaving him relieved. He stood up on trembling legs and looked around one last time. He thought about visiting Talia before he left again and figured that it wouldn't hurt to see his old friend. He thought about visiting Vespera and Asha too… but he knew he shouldn't.

Blade found Asha's toy dragon next to her broken crib and felt a twinge of pain. He wanted so badly to see how Asha had grown and to be a part of her life again, but Blade was still a danger to her here. If he could just take her with him... Blade sighed and clenched his teeth. He couldn't do that to Vespera, to take away her daughter again after they had already bonded. Vespera had a life here, so she couldn't just leave it behind either.

Blade sighed and started to walk out after grabbing the earring and Asha's toy, but then something caught his eye. It was a few pieces of paper sticking out of their old furs. He hadn't noticed those before, and he quickly went to grab them. He stared at the scribbled runes and sifted through them, but Blade didn't know how to read. It looked like a letter of sorts, and there was a heart at the end of it.

Akir… Blade folded the paper neatly and tucked it close to him as he quickly padded out of the house and took off toward Talia. His wings felt so very sore, but he winced through the pain and flew as fast as he could. He landed directly outside of Talia's home and pounded on her door.

Talia opened it and looked very surprised to see Blade. Blade smiled warmly at her and immediately hugged around her with his wings.

“Blade…" She squeezed him back and invited him inside, quickly shutting the door behind him. “I've been so worried about you."

Blade nodded and sheepishly pawed at the ground. “It's been… rough," he stated, not wanting to tell Talia any details. “But I feel… much better. A lot better."

“I'm glad, Blade. I've missed seeing you around all the time. What has it been, a year now?"

Blade nodded and chuckled lightly. Talia grinned widely at him and sat down in her chair while he lay down next to her, handing her the papers. He held Asha's toy in front of him and set the earring down, smiling softly.

“What's this?" she asked, looking through them.

Blade shrugged his wings. “I was hoping you could read them to me. I… I think Akir wrote them, but I can't read."

“He never taught you to read?" Talia asked with disbelief. “That foolish sack of sca—… S-sorry."

Blade grinned, finishing Talia's sentence in his mind. “It's fine. What does it say?"

He saw Talia briefly skim over it and saw how her eyes softened. “Oh, Blade… This… This is going to be hard for me to read."

“Is it from Akir?" he asked. His heart thrummed excitedly while his tail swished behind him. He wanted to know what Akir wrote. He wondered why Akir hadn't shown him the letters before, but it must have been something he had been waiting for.

She nodded. “To Blade, the love of my life: I'm so sorry. I wanted nothing more than to be the greatest mate to you, but I failed to keep that promise with you. I made one too many mistakes, and this time it has cost me my life. Today, I am going to die.

“I wait here, writing this while you and Asha sleep, worrying and trying to hold back my fears. I know you'll wake soon, and I hope I can finish writing this before you do. You've been so worried about me lately, and it warms my heart to know that you care, and I wish I could have told you—I wish I could have been a better mate.

I wish I could have told you that today was my last day. Gods, I wish I could have held you in my arms one last time and cried into your shoulder. I wish I could have honestly told you everything would be alright. There's so much I wish I could have done, Blade, but this is the end for me."

Tears poured from Blade. He clenched his paws tightly and buried his face under a wing, sniffling and sobbing quietly. He could hear Talia's voice cracking and breaking too while she read, and she sniffled almost as often as he did. But she held strong and continued:

“I'm going to send you and Asha away so you're safe. I wish I could have prepared you better for this. I know it's going to be hard, and I wish there was another way. But I know that if I had said anything, you would be here with me, and we would both die. I can't bear the thought of you or Asha dying, Blade, and I'm so sorry that I will no longer be here for you. This is the only way.

“There was a part of my life I kept secret from you, and I'll still spare most of the details to keep you from doing anything reckless. I was and always have been a thief; you should know that. But I led a guild of thieves, and I've stolen so much more than you could imagine. I wanted to build a better future for our family, and I had been so close to achieving that dream. There has been a certain group that's wanted me dead for a while, and they didn't find me until recently. And today is the day they come for me.

“I can do no more for our family, but I have amassed a small fortune to leave behind for you and Asha. It's enough for you both to live comfortably for the rest of your lives. Do you remember the first home we ever had—the cave on the coast? It's buried underneath that wooden toy you had given me when we were younger—yes, I had kept it!

“I love you, Blade, truly and sincerely; I couldn't have asked for a better mate. You've made my days warm and happy, and there's nothing more I could have asked from you. You are perfect, and I hope that maybe one day we'll see each other again. With all of my heart Blade, I love you. Take care of yourself and Asha. I will be waiting."

Blade had nearly balled his eyes out by the time Talia had finished. There were so many memories brought back to life by that letter, and he could practically hear it all in Akir's voice.

Akir had known that he would die. He sacrificed himself so Blade and Asha would have better lives without him, and Blade nearly threw that all away.

“Why… Why didn't he try to run? We could have left… We could have been safe somewhere else…" Blade said, musing over other outcomes.

Talia sniffled and sighed, setting the letter down beside her. “Akir was smart, Blade. I'm sure he thought about that. He wanted you and Asha to be safe, and whoever was after him would have probably hunted him down. It's how you feel about Asha, you know."

Blade nodded in understanding and clenched his talons together tightly. “I wish he would have told me… but he was right. I would have tried to protect him, and I would have died with him…" Blade sighed and teared up again. “I loved him so much."

“I know, Blade," Talia said and stroked the back of his neck gently. “But you're alive now, and that's all that matters." Her finger traced over one of his scars. “You've gone through a lot… Why don't you find somewhere to settle down that's far, far away?"

Blade nodded and stood up, grabbing Asha's toy and the ring. “I have somewhere already, and someone I should be with. I should have just stayed there, but I'm glad I didn't. Thank you for reading those to me, Talia. It… It means a lot."

“Of course, Blade," Talia said softly and handed the papers to him. “Take these, Blade. Even if you can't read, you'll want them." She stood up and hugged around him again. “Try to learn to read, alright? It's pretty important."

Blade chuckled and nodded, nuzzling her affectionately. “Thanks for being here for me. I hope I'll see you again."

“I'm getting old, Blade. Just… don't be surprised if I'm not here the next time you come." Talia looked at him kindly and stroked between his horns.

Blade's expression softened as he nodded. “I understand. Take care, Talia. I'll miss you."

Talia smiled and opened the door for Blade. “I'll miss you too. Goodbye, Blade."

The door shut behind him, leaving Blade in a slight daze. So much had happened and he hardly any time to sift through it. He shook his body and fluffed up his feathers, trying to feel just a little bit more normal again. He took off and flew towards the coast, quickly coming upon that cave he and Akir lived at long ago.

It was cold and dank inside, and a lot smaller than what he remembered. He found the wooden toy gryphon Blade had given Akir. He had found it outside the city one day, completely abandoned. Blade smiled and moved it to the side as he dug into the ground. His claws soon scraped a wooden trunk, so Blade dug around it and was eventually able to lift it up; it was very heavy.

Blade grunted and set it down, opening it to find more shiny things than he could have ever imagined. Jewels and gold brimmed the very top of it, and then Blade realized that there was another similar trunk beneath that. His golden eyes widened as he pawed through some of it, utterly amazed. There was no way he could carry all of this!

Thankfully, Akir had smartly set aside four different satchels. Blade stuffed two of them with as much as he could carry and flew back toward the city. His wings hurt badly, but he couldn't help but to smile. He stopped at Talia's house again and set one of the satchels down. He knocked loudly on her door and quickly took off.

He leapt into the sky and flew toward the feral district. He landed for a moment at Vespera's door and set down the other satchel with Asha's old toy inside, hoping that it would find its way to his daughter. He deeply wished that he could tell her how much he loved her and hoped that she would grow up the way he had imagined. He wished he could give her one big hug and tell her that he was sorry… But it was best for her to never see him again. At least now he knew she would have a better life—and Vespera too.

Blade sniffled and took off again after knocking on the door, this time back toward the coast. He clutched Akir's earring in his paw and thought about Renjee. He hoped he could return to the gryphon and apologize profusely for leaving him like that. He hoped that Renjee didn't move on already too. Blade would have been missing for almost two months by the time he returned.

He stopped back at the cave and filled only one satchel halfway this time and stuffed Akir's letter and ring inside. He buried the two trunks again, having hardly made a dent in the first one, and tried to wipe any evidence of him being here away. If he ever needed money again, he could return here. Then he took off again and flew west.

Blade sighed, feeling his aching wings struggling to carry him as he flew past the city. He wouldn't be able to fly as recklessly as before, and it would probably be longer than a month until he saw Renjee again.

But then he heard a familiar squawk come from above him as a feathered mass nearly tumbled into Blade. Blade yelped and caught Renjee, straining his wings even more as he held tightly to him. Renjee was panting and trembling, his wings drooping listlessly at his sides. Blade flew down to a sand dune and propped the gryphon up on his haunches.

“Renjee!?" Blade hugged around him tightly with his wings, enveloping the soft gryphon in a warm embrace.

“O-ohmygosh… You're so… so fast… how… how did you keep flying like… that… Gods, my wings hurt. Out… of breath…"

Renjee looked completely exhausted. His sunset-colored feathers were all ruffled, his eyes could hardly stay open, and his wings didn't look like they could move much more. He swayed back and forth as he sat up, unable to keep his balance. “You… followed me all the way here?"

Renjee warbled affirmatively and collapsed into Blade's arms. “M-mostly… Bleeergh, I think I'm going to vomit. O-oh… yup." Renjee broke away for a moment and heaved away from Blade, making the dragon grimace and turn his nose away.

“You didn't have to do that…"

Renjee finished and shivered, returning back to Blade's arms. It looked like he had caught his breath too, but Blade could feel his heart rapidly beating against him. “I did! I was worried about you. You looked really sad, and I didn't want to see you sad. But wow, you're a really good flier. I thought I was good, but jeeze… I don't think I can fly anymore!"

Blade giggled and squeezed Renjee tightly against him. “You'll recover. I… I brought you something," Blade said and opened up the satchel to take the ring in his paw. The golden earring rested on a paw pad. “Do you wear earrings?"

Renjee's purple eyes brightened as he looked at it. He nodded and let Blade hook it through a hole that was already near the base of his left ear. “I used to wear one before I met you, but I lost it. Thanks, Blade," he said and licked Blade's nose. “Where'd you get this?" He cocked his head at the satchel Blade wore.

“It was… a gift for someone very dear to me. I'll uhm… tell you about it later," Blade said and smiled softly. Renjee did look very handsome, and that earring complimented his orange colors well. Blade chuckled and set the satchel down in front of him. “But this is for us!" He opened the flap and showed Renjee the pile of luxuries inside.

He doubted Renjee had ever seen so much gold before with the way his eyes widened and feathers puffed out. “Y-you didn't steal this, did you!? That's so much gold!"

Blade shook his head, but quickly realized that Akir definitely did have a part in stealing all of this in some way. “No, it was a gift from that same someone that was very close to me."

“Was he a king!? Wow! We won't ever have to work again," Renjee said happily. Blade imagined he'd be dancing around if he weren't so tired. “But if he's so special to you… then why are you coming back with me?" Renjee asked curiously.

Blade pinned his ears back. “He's not with us anymore…"

“Oh, I'm sorry, Blade," Renjee said and nuzzled him back, trying to comfort him. “He must have been really amazing."

“It's fine. I think I'm finally over it… I feel a lot better," Blade said and smiled. He looked into Renjee's eyes and felt much calmer than he had before. He doubted that Renjee could ever replace Akir, but it was a start.

“Why don't we take our time heading back home?" Blade asked and playfully booped the gryphon. “You need to rest your wings anyway."

Renjee squawked and booped back. “Just not too long! I don't want my friends to worry about me missing. It's already been a month… Wow, you really do live on the other coast! I saw the ocean and it looked so blue!"

Blade giggled and started to walk across the sand. Truthfully, he thought he'd miss feeling it squish beneath his paws, but he looked forward to getting away from it for a while. Renjee squeaked and followed next to Blade.

“Where are you going?"

Blade shrugged his wings and kept walking. “We have to make time when we can, right? Besides, I'd like to talk to you about some stuff, and it's hard to talk when you're flying."

Renjee nodded and looked up at Blade. “What do you want to talk about?"

Blade looked back and smiled warmly. “I'd like to tell you about my life, the important stuff I've left out… The good and the bad."