The White Horizon: Chapter Five: Exploring
#7 of The White Horizon
Finn wakes up having no clue what happened the previous night. He admits his love for Kiah, and things go down a dark road.
READER DISCRETION: The following chapter contains details of sexual assault.
I could taste the whiskey on my breath when I woke up. How much had I drank last night? My head was throbbing, and my vision was blurry. I was lying on my side and the bottle of whiskey lay a few inches away from my left paw, completely empty.
I tasted bile in my throat, it slowly came up to my mouth and I started to spit it up. I slowly saw a puddle of alcoholic, sludgy vomit form in front of my muzzle. My eyelids felt heavy, I wanted to go back to sleep.
As my eyes began to close I saw Lakota and Kiah rush up to me, my eyes blurred and I fell asleep. Lakota looked like she had cuts on her arms. Maybe it was just the booze talking...
"Shit!" I exclaimed, pulling my paw back from the hot pan.
"That's why you use a hot glove, Finn." Nick stated.
I turned around to find the husky staring at me. We were in our old apartment, the apartment where we had lived together for a couple of glorious years after high school, before the winter.
"Do you want me to take a look at it?" Nick said, taking my paw in his.
"No," I replied, pulling it back with a smile.
"It's only first degree." I said.
Nick peered over my shoulder to see what was for dinner. Two fillets of salmon sizzled in the frying pan, a sign that they were almost finished.
"Mmm smells delicious. You down to watch that new show tonight?" Nick asked.
I turned from him and flipped one of the fillets over, exposing its grey skin. It was done.
"What show?" I asked.
"The new comedy on netflix, with that golden retriever in Chicago." Nick stated.
"Yeah, sure." I replied.
I was happy to do anything with Nick and he usually had good taste in TV shows.
Water dripped down my face as I groggily got up. Where had my mind wandered to? Some random memory, of me and Nick preparing for dinner. What the fuck happened? A shadow spreads over my vision, somebody is standing over me.
As my eyes begin to focus in on the face of the person standing over me, so does my mind. I had been reminiscing about Nick's death, and had taken a sip of whiskey, but that's all I remember is one small taste
Maybe my mind had repressed the memory, because, my instinct told me something bad happened and I felt guilty about it, but I didn't know why. A flash came to me.
Clay said he and Lakota were going to go on a walk through the cave, Kiah asked if he could come along, and Clay almost instantly told the otter no.
Kiah was standing over me. My vision was much better than earlier and I could see the otter was clearly distressed, most likely about my hangover. I tried to sit up, but the otter instantly put a paw on my chest, tacitly directing me to lie back down.
I tilted my head sideways and caught a glance of the rest of the group. Lakota and Pan were sitting with their backs to one of the torches, while Clay was sitting several meters away with the other torch and his back turned. The coyote looked like he was brooding over something. His yellow eyes were calculating and almost sinister.
Kiah's paw was still on my chest and oddly I liked it there. On one paw it was good to have it there since I had had a crush on the otter for a couple of months, and on the other paw it felt like he was helping me get over Nick. It was as if he was leeching my sorrow out of me and throwing it away with his now sad green eyes.
Part of me wants to hold on to that husky I had once loved, but I knew in this apocalyptic landscape that was not an option, and we had grown less and less intimate as the months in the snow had gone on. We had grown so distant and slowly I started to look less and less at him as a partner and more as a good friend.
Kiah began to pull his brown paw off me, but I grabbed it and put it back. I wanted it there, it was going to remain there.
"Finn?" The otter asked confused.
I sat up letting his paw drop off me now.
"I need to tell you a secret." I whispered to him in the awkward silence of the cave.
"What?" The otter asked raising an eyebrow.
I leaned my muzzle in close to his short ear. I could smell his scent clearly now.
"I think I like you" I whispered slowly into the mustelid's ear.
Kiah drew back a bit, his eyes wide. I hoped he wasn't some sort of homophobe, but I needed to get my love for him off my chest.
"Finn, how- but Nick." The otter stuttered.
I quickly glimpsed Pan and Lakota turning their heads towards us. I crawled over to where the otter was sitting.
"Nick is gone." I stated. It really hurt to say it, but once I did I felt waves of emotions fall off me.
"Oh, well Finn I'm flattered-" I cut him off by leaning in and kissing him. Our two different muzzles melding together. At first Kiah resisted, his green eyes still filled with shock. Just as I was about to cut it off, he kissed back, his eyes closed. I let my paws drift over his face and down his neck and shoulders. I tasted alcohol on his breath.
Kiah ended it. Comically wiping off his muzzle. He smiled, wordlessly telling me he was fine with it. He looked so cute then, and for a moment I had moved on from Nick, my spirits soared.
"So, that was awkward." I said breaking the weird silence between us.
"I think I like you too." Kiah replied.
"Do you want to do it again?" I asked.
"Not here," Kiah replied.
"You're breath stinks," the otter giggled.
I laughed.
"Well, look around do you see any mints?" I replied loudly, my voice echoing off the cave walls.
"IT'S THE FUCKING END OF DAYS!" I yelled full of joy and laughter.
I looked Kiah in the eyes and found that he had become sad again.
"Are you okay?" I asked, with a smile.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw Lakota get up and come towards us.
"Yeah," Kiah said shaking his head.
"I had a lot to drink last night, I just wish all of this had never happened, not this kiss, but all this fucking snow."
The otter looked up when the she-wolf sat down next to us. Another flash came to me as the she-wolf looked at me. Her eyes were straining to hold back tears.
It had been about an hour and Lakota and Clay hadn't returned. I had started to pass around the bottle of whiskey between Kiah and Pan. We were playing some sort of game.
"Finn, are you alright?" Lakota asked me. She still held her motherly tone even though something had happened.
"Yeah," I started.
"A bit sleepy, but how about you?" I asked.
Lakota's yellow eyes darted back and forth.
"I'm fine," She replied quickly. The wolf stood up and walked back over to Pan.
"Huh," Kiah shrugged.
"That whiskey you had was strong, all three of us had hangovers. I fell asleep first."
Kiah took a long look at the whiskey and after passing it to Pan fell back and was sleeping instantly. Pan took a swig and fell back next to the otter, passing the liquor off to me. I took another sip of the bitter liquid and screwed the cap on, what little was left. Where were Lakota and Clay?
"Kiah, we should go scout the cave," I said with a mischievous grin. Kiah knew full well what I was implying.
"Sure, let's go." the otter replied, giving me a sly smile. He deftly slid his paw around my waist as we both stood up, and approached where Clay was sitting. I grabbed his torch and told him we were going exploring. Both me and Kiah grinned at each other and Clay nodded.
As I put the whiskey back in my bag I heard footsteps echoing through the cave. Lakota and Clay were returning.
Kiah and I walked as far out as we could go, and when we were sure no one could hear us I set the torch down in a mound of snow. It all seems so sudden when I kiss him. My muzzle interlocking with his as it had done before with Nick.
My paws moved over his body, covered by so many coats. So many fucking coats. He took one off, and I took one off. We made a tacit game of it, until we were standing in our clothes from before the winter. The clothes we had probably hurriedly put on before we left.
I felt the cold of the cave, but not enough to make me want my coats scattered across the ground. I could tell Kiah was relatively fine. He stood inches away from me and I looked up and down and saw he was wearing a pair of jeans and a simple black t-shirt. I was wearing white tank top and shorts. I had forgotten that I was wearing shorts in the snow! We both laughed at my predicament.
Kiah must have been on some sort of sports team, because he was pretty muscular. I felt each ridge and bump of the muscles underneath his short brown fur, as he felt mine.
This unbridled love was consuming me. I had almost instantly fallen for Kiah as I had fallen for Nick. I felt a little guilty, with leaving Lakota behind as she was dealing with something terrible. Then I started to remember, all of a sudden, what happened that night.
Kiah kissed me again. I was up against a wall of the cave, his paw was slowly moving under my shirt.
The footsteps, grew louder, and I heard Clay whispering intently and angrily.
I had my paws on the otter's back right now, moving them up and down, slowly removing his old shirt.
"Stop!" I heard Lakota yell.
Our kiss broke up briefly as he lifted his shirt over his head. I moved my paws to his chest running them through his fur. His body was against mine now. He was taking control even though he was the younger one.
I heard a muffled cry. "Shut the hell up," I heard Clay whisper. I suddenly felt very sick.
I slid my shirt off, and continued my embrace with Kiah even though I was shocked by what I was remembering. I tried to focus on what I was doing with Kiah, I wanted him so badly, but I was distracted, my mind was racing.
I heard a quiet crunch. "You bitch! You bit me!" Clay yelled. My head ached, my eyelids become droopy. "FINN!" I heard Lakota yell. "KIAH, PLEASE HELP!"
I stopped, lightly pushing Kiah off me.
"What's the matter?" The otter asked.
"Kiah, we need to get back to the camp," I started.
"Why, I don't think they'll love us doing..." I cut the otter off.
"NOW," I commanded.
I quickly grabbed my shirt and slipped it on. I carried all my coats under my arm, heavy with snow.
Lakota was crying now, sobbing, it became muffled again. I heard some sort of groaning, probably from Clay. "FINN!" I heard her yell one more time. Then I fell fast asleep.
I grabbed the torch in my paw and began to run, followed by Kiah, who was constantly giving me quizzical looks.
"What's wrong?" He asked as he ran beside me.
"I know what happened last night. I'm pretty sure Lakota was raped." I stated.
"What the fuck? By who we were all passed out, did you?" The otter said.
"No," I replied.
"Clay," We said in unison. When we got closer to the camp we heard screams, Lakota's screams.
I saw Pan holding something on his shoulder slumped against the wall As we approached him his eyes grew wide at the sight of the light. Lakota and Clay were nowhere to be seen, Kiah looked around. We could still hear Lakota's cries which had now become muffled screams.
"Pan, what happened?" I asked as I squatted next to the ermine. I quickly saw his paw was covered in blood. He slowly lifted it up for me and revealed his shoulder's bloody hole. It looked like a bullet wound.
"Damn, Clay whipped out a gun and shot me, then he grabbed Lakota and-" Pan hunched over.
"Oh, God I think I'm going to be sick." He said.
The ermine retched all over the cold ground. I dropped my coats away from the vomit and stood up. I didn't need to listen to Pan to know what happened to Lakota.
Kiah was several meters away searching with the other torch.
"Kiah!" I yelled.
Lakota's cries were getting more hushed now.
"Watch Pan!"
The otter rushed over to his friend and began to tend to the ermine's wounds. I grabbed the torch from the otter and started walking towards the cave entrance. As I got closer, I started to wish I had brought my coats. The cries began to get louder as I began to see the sliver of light that represented the hell outside.
"No, Clay Please!" I heard Lakota yell.
I started to run in the direction of her cries. I saw a torch in the distance. The I saw Clay, on top of the wolf, his paws around her throat.
Clay had his back to me and I snuck up slowly. Lakota fixed her panicked eyes on me, but I put a finger over my muzzle. I raised the torch and struck Clay in the back of the head. The stunned coyote fell off of Lakota, leaving her exposed.
My torch lay lit on the ground as I tackled Clay and began to punch him in the muzzle. I landed a good two or three blows before he pushed me off. I fell next to Lakota, and found that she was paralyzed from shock. I saw blood on her throat, and running down her legs.
I smelled the irony taste permeating the cave now, and the smell of something else. Clay was had somehow managed to get his pants back on and tackled me. I held his paws back as he tried to claw at me. I brought my head up into his nose, feeling it split.
Clay fell back and grabbed his muzzle.
"Dick!" He yelled as he spun around giving me a savage uppercut that knocked me down to my knees.
He yanked out a pistol from his back pocket, probably the one he had shot Pan with. It was the shiny thing he had taken from the jackal's corpse.
He raised it, but not before Lakota rushed him. A growl formed low in her throat, it was the growl of a mother protecting her cubs, She had awoken and with her last burst of adrenaline, pushed the coyote back from me. I stood up and started for the coyote. Lakota was clawing at Clay's chest causing blood to run down the canine's grey fur and soak his clothes and the ground beneath him.
I heard a shot. Lakota fell back but not before she landed a nasty swipe of her claws across Clay's throat. The coyote stepped back, dropping the pistol, I pounced for it grabbing it midair. Clay's paws were around his throat choking on the blood. I couldn't tell if she had gone deep enough to kill the coyote.
Lakota had taken a bullet through her left side, and luckily it was close enough to her hips that it probably didn't hit any vital organs, but I knew she could still bleed to death or freeze due to the fact she was naked. I put the pistol in my pocket as I began to tend to Lakota, I see Clay slowly get up and run down an unexplored tunnel of the cave.
Part of me wants to chase him, but Lakota is more important and I don't want to waste the bullets, if I miss. I put a paw over her bullet wound cursing the cold and the winter that effectively made me lose almost everyone I loved.
I heard footsteps behind me and for a second I thought it was Clay and I took my paw off Lakota for a second. She whined, but I turned around to see Kiah and Pan. The otter had tears in his eyes.
For the first time I realized how tortured Lakota looked. I put my paw back on her wound and Kiah began to walk away.
"I can't, where's Clay?" He yelled.
"He ran off," I replied, putting more pressure on Lakota's chest.
"That motherfucker! You let him fucking run away!" Kiah yelled.
"Lakota, gave him a pretty nasty cut across the throat, he may not even live through the night." I replied, as Pan came beside me and started to tend to Lakota's other minor wounds.
The wolf's eyes filled with tears as Kiah began to pace, I saw the tears slowly subside. At first I thought she was giving up, then I realized she was falling into a deep sleep, she just wanted to forget, just like we all did.
Words formed in Lakota's throat, but escaped only as wheezes, her growl must have ravaged her throat, as well as Clay's attack. Pan took one of his coats off and gave it to Lakota to cover herself. The she-wolf sat up and shivered. Blood still trickled down her legs and I had to rip off part of my tank top to stop the blood from her chest.
We wanted it to all end.