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The Gift

Richard's Storyline, Chapter 7.5

copyright comidacomida 2018

The Jaguar pulled his legs up onto the sofa with him, sitting cross legged as he addressed me. "You are not tired? You are ready for tonight?"

I still wasn't entirely sure what the night would bring so there was no way I could say for certain that I was ready, but I recalled a suggestion Balam had made earlier so I chose to focus on that. "I will be after I get some rest this afternoon."

He nodded in response. "Yes. Of course. This is a good use of time."

Jack flexed and resettled his wings. "I shall accompany thee to thy room if thou wouldst benefit from my presence, Richard."

Although I enjoyed spending time with the Gryphon I didn't miss the critical glance shot toward us from Balam and I came to the conclusion that rest really is best accomplished without distraction. "Thanks, Jack, but I think I'll maybe just nap, or see if I can try to meditate or something."

Balam's ears rose and he inquired "Meditas?"

Although it wasn't an exact cognate it was close enough that I could tell he caught my meaning. I replied to the affirmative, that I was thinking about meditating. "Si. Si puedo, voy al meditar."

He seemed almost bemused by my hesitance, as he continued the discussion in Spanish. "If you can? You do not know if you can meditate?"

I shrugged. "Well, it's not a skill they teach you in school, but if it's all about stopping your mind and thinking about nothing then I can try."

Balam's whiskers twitched-- whether from humor or irritation I didn't know. "Meditating is about more than that, Seer. Come... I will show you."

Although I'd originally planned on going off to rest alone, I relented and waited until Balam had passed me. The Jaguar took hold of me by my wrist and brought me back to my bedroom. I offered a brief wave to Jack, who stood there staring. "See you tonight."

He offered a helpless wave back and then he was out of view as Balam brought me into my room. He gave a flicking gesture to the door by waving his arm and paw at it and it closed as if he'd tapped it shut with his palm, and then the Jaguar motioned to the floor. "Sit."

I moved to where he indicated and sat down. For a moment I contemplated trying the 'lotus position', or something similar to what I'd seen practitioners of Yoga do but, in the end, I just sat cross-legged like I'd seen Balam do before. Although I knew he could see me, I still felt it important to declare "Okay... I'm sitting."

He sat down across from me, not unlike how we had during the past attempts at a ritual. His Topaz eyes watched me like he was stalking me, and his question emerged suddenly amidst the silence like a great cat pouncing out of the undergrowth. "Are you comfortable?"

I rolled my shoulders and thought about it. Was I? More or less, I reasoned. In order to reinforce my answer via action I took off my shoes and set them off to the side before responding. "Yes. I am now."

Balam, took off his feathered headdress and set that aside as well before looking back to me. His eyes stared through me as he gave his direction. "Meditation is more than not thinking; it is more than 'stopping your mind'."

I didn't miss the way he used my own words in his explanation. The way he lingered in the silence without continuing made me think he was waiting for something. "What is meditation then?"

He blinked, and when he spoke it was almost like I was being chastised... in an almost playful way. "It is about being comfortable with silence."

I got the point quickly enough, and didn't ask any more questions. The Jaguar remained sitting there, staring at me and saying nothing. I said nothing in return, spending my time looking back at him but I found fairly quickly that I couldn't meet his gaze for long. The moment I broke eye contact he spoke. "Meditation is about knowing yourself. It is about being truly aware."

Although I very nearly asked a question I caught myself, and said nothing, choosing instead to return his stare again. Looking him right in the eye once more I held it for what felt like a longer time but, like the first time, his feral intensity was too much and my gaze dropped down to the paint markings on his white chest fur. He addressed me again. "Focus on how you feel, Seer. Focus on the feel of your clothes against your body; focus on the feel of your weight pressing you to the ground; focus on the sensation of your every breath-- in... out... in again."

I listened to his voice, the smooth, rich, flowing sound of his accented baritone. Although Spanish wasn't my native language I could still tell he spoke with an accent-- it was mysterious and full of the wild flavor that colored everything about him. I paid attention to his words and the tempo with which he spoke; just like when he was conducting the rituals he had a certain pacing, and it was hypnotizing.

My eyes slowly closed as I continued to do as he requested, feeling everything. Meditating, he said, was not being closed off to everything; it was about being open to everything and sensing it all. I don't know how long he spoke, but I realized when he stopped and yet it didn't really register except as a faint background acknowledgement to everything else I could still sense and still experience. Somewhere outside the neighbor's house cat caught a sparrow. My eyes opened immediately.

Balam was right where he was when I closed my eyes; he was staring right at me but, rather than the challenging gleam of a demanding teacher I saw the inquisitive glimmer of a questioning companion. "What is it, Ricardo?"

I was so caught up in the moment that his use of the Spanish version of my name almost went by unnoticed. Still, I set that aside for a future point in time, choosing to focus on something else. "I... think Jojo just got a bird."

He blinked. "The cat?"

Whether Balam knew the name of my neighbor's cat or not was beside the point; somehow he wasn't surprised at my statement. "I couldn't hear it, and I definitely couldn't see it happen, but-- did he just--?"

Balam interrupted me. "Tell me."

It was a challenge as much as an encouragement. He didn't want me to ask him; he wanted me to tell him. "Jojo just caught a bird."

The Jaguar slowly stood, and walked around behind me. "Tell me more."

Although it felt like I was making up some story I realized that I was actually telling one. But how could I have known? "Dustin and his wife do composting and Jojo knows that birds come by to pick through it for bugs... There's a bush behind the house where he likes to hide and today he was faster than the bird."

Balam sat down behind me, sliding his legs outward along mine until I was basically sitting in his lap. "Did he kill it quickly?"

The question created an answer in my mind as if I'd witnessed the entire thing. "No. He pounced it and broke a wing, and then batted it around until he bit its neck."

I felt the Jaguar's paws on my shoulders, sliding down my arms to the elbows, then back up to my armpits before migrating to my ribs, then wrapping around my midsection. "Was the bird male or female?"

Shuddering, not just at his touch, but also because I realized that, despite not even knowing how to sex birds I realized the answer. "Female."

I felt his rough tongue on the back of my head as his paws made lazy circles against my chest; his touch passed through my shirt so I could feel his sandy pads against my bare skin. His teeth gently grazed through my hair as he spoke. "How many eggs were in her nest?"

The question was discordant in my mind and I realized it was the first on I couldn't answer. "I... don't know."

The Jaguar stood, passing right through me as he returned to where he'd been sitting and he gathered his head dress. At first I thought he was disappointed in my lack of knowledge but, as he turned about to face me, I saw a rare smile on his muzzle; he looked pleased. "Do not be discouraged, Ricardo. Few Humans gain their Greater Sense so quickly, and you have done far better than most. Continue meditation, and I will see you tonight."

Without another word, Balam exited my room, leaving me vindicated, confused, energized, and excited. In fact, I noticed that when the Jaguar left my room he did so with a noticeable tent in his loincloth, which meant that I was excited in more ways than one.